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In todays society we see more and more single parent households and its
not just single moms anymore. In fact, single dads front the household in 8%
of families as of 2013 (Livingston, 2013). There is much controversy as to
whether a child can get that motherly love and guidance from a father
fronted household and while that comes down to personal opinion it is
absolutely possible for a child to strive in a father-headed environment. The
unique thing about the Howell family is not only do we have a single father
and his son but we also have a partner who is not a mother, and has little to
no interest in being one. Roberta moved in with Richard Howell and his son,
Joshua, about 18 months ago. They live in a small townhouse close to
Roberta and Richards places of work, Joshuas school, and are surrounded by
pleasant, helpful neighbors. Richard and his son Joshua identify with Judaism
and Roberta chooses not to commit to a religion. Both Roberta and Richard
as well as Joshua are white. In the one-on-one interview, Richard informs me
that his personal parenting style is less aggressive and more about taking
the time to teach Joshua to do something the correct way while Robertas
parenting style is very hands off. She feels as though since, biologically,
Joshua is not her child, that she should not have to parent in the same way
that Richard does. The most important thing at this time is to ensure Joshua
is getting the care he needs while growing a relationship with his father as
well as starting a relationship with Roberta.
You can find strengths and weaknesses in every family no matter their
demographic. Richard was open about his strengths and weaknesses as a

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parent. A strength he stated as a family was that everyone helps in one way
or another and a weakness was simply that there sometimes isnt the time to
spend quality time as a newly-blended family. I asked what he would
consider a strength of Roberta if I were to ask her and he responded by
saying that she is very strong-willed and can conquer anything. In times that
he is feeling he cant do something or is feeling discouraged shes able to
bring him back up. When asked about Joshuas strengths and weaknesses,
Richard lit up. Richard explained that although Joshua is only 4, he is well
mannered and polite to both adults and other children. When asked about a
weakness of Joshua he said that if anything it was his sense of
independence. Once he got the hang of something he didnt want anyone or
anything to interfere with how he does it. Richard explains that this
independence did have some negative effects on his friends at his previous
school as he was often content working and playing alone. Richard goes on
to tell me that Joshuas biological mother is not actively in his life as she left
the family shortly after Joshua was born. Richard expresses that he would
really like and almost needs Roberta to become more comfortable with
having Joshua. He is understanding that she is not interested in becoming a
mother but feels that for Joshuas development to proceed correctly that she
needs to be more open to accepting Joshua and Richard is willing to do
whatever it takes to make this happen.
Because of the sensitivity of this family and its strained relationships, its
very important to incorporate some simple strategies into everyday

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activities. Because Joshua is a bit younger its important that these strategies
arent too difficult. Ive chosen to focus on strategies that Joshua and Roberta
can do to get to know one another a little better as it seems Joshuas
relationship with his dad is doing very well. The first strategy I would suggest
is a bonding method that Roberta can do with Joshua when she washes
dishes or folds laundry. This strategy can consist of Joshua help drying the
plastic dishes and seeing if he can guess where they go. Because doing the
dishes is not something that Joshua can fully do on his own but is capable to
some extent is playing into his ZPD or zone of proximal development; the
area between what a child can do on their own and what a child will be able
to do with assistance from an adult. Another strategy that could help Joshua
and Roberta create a bond is when doing laundry. This could be done by
having Roberta separate her and Richards clothes from Joshuas and giving
Joshua a small basket of his own with his own clothes to fold. Roberta could
take the time to show Joshua how to fold a t-shirt. Because the clothes are
Joshuas and not adult sized clothes, he will be able to better that skill
because the item is just as big as he is. Helping with food preparation is
another great way to bond Roberta and Joshua. To do this strategy Roberta
can prepare a simple meal with Joshua such as pasta salad or trail mix. She
can have Joshua count the items as they are mixed together. She could also
have Joshua think of something that rhymes with the food they are making or
even categorize the ingredients as wet or dry. Another great way to bond
together would be story time before bed. Letting Joshua pick out his own

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book either from his own collection or while at the store will make him feel
important. Spending that time reading with him before bedtime really assists
with creating a trusting bond. While these strategies are intended to serve as
a way to engage Roberta with Joshua, Richard is very encouraged to
participate as well in these strategies. Giving Joshua the feeling that he is
important to both his father and Roberta will mean the world to him. It is of
absolute importance that there is a sense of trust among all three family
members and that they are really making time to spend together, even if it is
doing simple things like the dishes.
The activity Ive chosen is fun for the whole family. In the activity Joshua, his
dad, and Roberta will make a spring garden without the mess (Davis, 2012)!
For this activity we will need an egg carton cut in half, fake flowers, white
playdough, lightly scented shampoo and small flower petals. Roberta or
Richard will want to mix the flower scented shampoo with the playdough and
add the small flower petals to add texture. From there they can begin to use
the activity by placing the playdough in the compartments of the egg cartons
and adding the fake flowers to make it look like a small garden. This activity
can be supported by a book. I suggest Growing a Rainbow by Lois Ehlert.
From there we can extend the activity to be outside the egg carton. Richard
and Roberta should allow Joshua to scatter his garden where he wants to
(within a small space, of course). Another suggestion is to have a makeshift
garden for all three family members and then have a center pot where they
can mix their own flowers in to make one big garden from all three of them.

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This activity is helping Joshuas fine motor skills by allowing him to feel and
mold the playdough to whatever he wants and he is exploring his
surroundings and new textures. Because the main focus is on making the
relationship between Roberta and Joshua stronger I feel as though this would
be a great activity for them all to do as a family. Another great activity that
could involve either both adults or one could be Alphabet Sponges. For this
activity all you need is a big pack of colorful sponges and some scissors. An
adult should cut the letters of the alphabet. While this is happening, we could
also make it interactive by having Roberta or Richard ask Joshua if he knows
what one letter is. Once the sponges are cut and ready to go they can be
used at bath time. The letters can be used to spell Joshuas name or to just
begin to familiarize him with letters in general. Over time Joshua will be able
to spell out his own name or the name of his favorite animal.
In conclusion, while having a single father fronted household is still not fully
accepted by a lot of people, it is with the best interest that the child or
children are able to prosper and grow well in that environment. I believe with
time and some hard work and dedication we can start to grow a relationship
between Roberta and Joshua and strengthen the bond between Richard and
Joshua.

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Works Cited

Davis, J. (2012, November 11). Create a Spring Play Dough Garden. Retrieved from Learning 4
Kids: http://www.learning4kids.net/2012/11/11/create-a-spring-play-dough-garden/
Livingston, G. (2013, July 2). The Rise of Single Fathers. Retrieved from Pew Research Center:
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/