Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
and writing. However, there is a small amount of culture mentioned in the essay.
Charles could include more cultural significance.
5. Does the organization of the paper make sense? How has the author structured
the essay? Do they alternate paragraphs switching between personal experience
and scholarly ideas about literacy? Is it structured all around a personal
narrative? If so, what suggestions do you have for helping the author break from
this pattern? If the structure seems either confusing or strong indicate where you
see this. How would you improve it?
Only a few places where Charles contradicts himself are hindering the sense in this
essay. So, overall, it is well put together and follows a definite series of events.
This being said, however, the essay is a bit focused as a personal narrative and less
about the cultural significance of his experiences on his writing. I would take out
some of the blunt honesty about not enjoying reading and writing and add some
reflection on how these bad experience could have helped.
6. Does the author consider the audience? Indicate how the author could address
the audience better or where the author does a good job of considering the
audience.
He considers the audience briefly by mentioning assignments done in UWRT 1103.
Since his audience is his teacher and peers, bringing UWRT 1103 into the paper will
cause some to find similar memories. I think more could be added, but I honestly
dont know how to address the audience without being obvious either.
7. List two things you think the author does a good job on. List two things you
think the author should work on. Make at least one suggestion for how she/he
might go about improving each of those aspects of the essay.
I think Charles did well following a strong thesis and series of events. I think he
should correct some places where he contradicts himself, but overall I think it is well
organized. I think he can work on the amount of cultural significance that he
mentions in the paper. I think he needs to reflect a little deeper into some of his
memories and put them onto paper. This might better elaborate his experiences
and their affect on his writing and reading.
8. List two things you would like to hear more about. What does the author not
deal with as much or as well as youd like? Explain what and why you think these
elements are important enough to include.
Id like to hear more about his bad experiences and why he loathes them so much.
And maybe he could find reasons that are positive, even though it was a bad
memory.