He advised me that, if I

made the decision, I should find the Benedictine order most

suited to my temperament. I went for a number of doctrinal
talks with him. The thing I found hardest to swallow was
Adams apple. I was told that I must believe that it was the sin
of physical greed over a physical apple that caused the Fall.
Even though I knew nothing yet of religious symbolism, I felt
intuitively that this was a sterile parody of a profound truth.
However, the scheme was not rejected for this or any other
doctrinal reason but was gradually pushed aside during the
months that followed by the zest for life in me which means
simply that the spiritual impetus was too weak, for when the
real doorway opened several years later it called forth an
aspiration against which no worldly zest could stand.
Within a year I had to give up my job on account of
illness. When I recovered the Oxford University Appointments
Board informed me of two possibilities one at an Italian
Archaeological College in Palestine, and the other as a private
tutor in a Polish country family. I applied for both and both
accepted me. The former was a chance to retrieve my position
in an academic career; the latter was a dead end. However, the
former refused to advance my passage money. They were willing
to refund it when I arrived but I had not got it. I was no longer
on good terms with my father, so instead of asking him for it
straight out I asked his advice which job to take. He advised the
Polish one. He was a practical, level-headed person, so I could
only wonder what his motive was in advising what he must
have known to be the wrong choice: whether it was because of
the passage money or because the college was Catholic and
knowing my leaning in that direction, he feared that I might
be lost forever to a religion he abominated.