Andy Company Editor (336) 786-6116

Newspaper Sep. 20 th 1965 Volume 1, Issue 1

Keeping our
Mayberry
citizens well
informed of
everything
important
going on in the
best town, on
this here
country.

Contents:
Barney; Secret Agent !? 1
Duck Computer??

Mayberry Welcomes the

Munsters

Liar in Mayberry

Beauty Pageant

Floyds Barber Shop Closed

6

Barney; Secret Agent!?

BY: Yesica Diaz

Barney the secret

agent?! Now that the
case is closed, we
here at the Mayberry
Gazette can tell you
the townsfolk all the
details of what
happened. Barney was
contacted by a local
high school student
here in Mayberry. The
student claimed that
there was someone
stealing lunch boxes.

Instead of conducting an
investigation and asking
witness to relate what
happened, Barney decided
to go undercover. Im
dapper and youthful
looking, Ill fit right in! He
exclaimed. Barney enrolled
as a full time high school
student at Mayberry High
and slowly began his case.
He even tried out for the
football team, and quickly
became very popular

Duck Computer??
Andy the sheriff of
Mayberry took his son
Opie fishing one day and
he heard a weird
sound like a duck
quacking. He did not

BY: Delores Hollis

know where the sound

was coming from, so all
of a sudden Opie took
out a computer with
navigation on it to locate
the duck sound.

because of his car (even

though it is a lemon!)
Needless to say, he
attracted too much
attention! He would
snoop from hallway to
hallway hoping to catch
the cafeteria thief but
he had no leads. In the
end we found out the
high school student was
just bluffing about the
whole thing! Now the
sheriffs department has
been trying to get
Barney too unenrolled
from Mayberry High.
Barney claims he is sure
he is on to the cafeteria
thief and plus the
HUGE rival game
against Blueberry High
is next week and his
team needs him! If you
would like to follow the
rest of this news story,
do not forget to buy
your daily copy of the
Mayberry Gazette,
tomorrow!

Andy said "son where did

you get that piece of toy,
what is it"? Opie said Si
and
Willie
Robertson

(Continued on page 2)

TYPE TITLE HERE

of Duck Dynasty
gave it to him. Andy
was stunned because
he did not know what
a computer was, Si or
Willie. All of a
sudden Si and Willie
appeared from
nowhere and started
blowing a whistle,
and ducks came to
where they were
about 100. Andy
didn't know what to
do, so he said yaw
follow me to town.
When he got to town
he locked up the
ducks, Si, Willie and
Opie in the jail cell.
He said yaw is crazy
there is no such thing
as a computer in

Mayberry. He told
them to sleep it off
and if they needed to
talk Otis the town
drunk was in the next
cell and he could give
them psychological
advice. When Barney
came to work at the
jail, Andy asked him
did he know what a
computer was, and he
said yep, Andy put
him in jail. Aunt Bea,
Floyd and Gomer
seen all the ducks
and they rushed over
to the jail. Andy
asked them did they
know what a
computer was and
they said yep. They
were all locked up in

the cell with the

ducks.
Andy said since all
yaw know what a
computer is, try to
get out of jail with a
computer. He said
"yaw is stuck until
you figure out how to
get out with that
computer. They
could not figure it
out and Andy laughed
and said "yaw stuck
cause that computer
won't let yaw jail
break. Andy said
until he find out what
a computer is they
will stay in jail.

___________________________________________________________________________
Mayberry Welcomes the Munsters By: Marinka Green
Mayberry wishes to

son. They feel the clean

convey a heartfelt

air, good wholesome

welcome its newest

environment, and

family, the Munsters.

wonderful community

They have come to

would be a good change

Mayberry to run the

for their family. Helen

local funeral parlor.

Crump a teacher at the

Herman and Lily bring

school says she is

with them their young

looking forward to

son Eddie, Lilly's

having Eddie in her

father, referred to only

class. Opie Taylor,

as Grandpa, and cousin

Sheriff Andy's son

hole, because Eddie said has never been fishing before. So,

Marilyn. They thought

added that he thinks he

citizens of Mayberry, I hope you can make our new

Mayberry would be an

and Eddy will become

residents feel as welcome as if they had lived here their

ideal place to raise their

fast friends.

whole life.

He hopes he and his Pa can take Eddie to the local fishing

LIAR IN MAYBERRY By: Alondra Zuniga

Who knew that in

So

what should we do?

Tell a tale? Or state

the truth? Oh no, we
cannot do that, lets
just become Annabelle
2.0.?

house he had built with

named Angelina Jolie (a

this wonderful town

his own hands for his

very beautiful woman I

where wonderful people

precious wife, me, when

may add) and cannot do

lived, had a lair. Not

he was hit by a ruthless

so until Annabelle signs

just a simple liar but a

taxi driver! how we

the divorce papers.

lair who hid the most

believed this woman.

What a crazy woman,

horrible lie of all.

She told the story too

she must be ashamed.

Annabelle Silby, the

well, combined with

The mayor, Mayor Pike,

woman who we all know,

tears and them

has forbid her entrance

has lied to her people.

believable tears. Well, it

into this magnificent

To this town to whom

has been discovered that

town. She has left and

she has vowed loyalty.

this woman has been

cannot come back! Now,

Everyone knew that her

lying to this town for the

we cannot bear to have

husband, Tom Silby, had

years! Her husband is

this lair have a

been murdered by a taxi

not dead, oh no. He is

connection to his town.

cab years ago. She told

alive and well. He has

So what should we do?

the tale many, many, oh

come back to Mayberry

Tell a tale? Or state the

many times. He was

for a divorce! As he is

truth? Oh no, we cannot

leaving our house, a

trying to marry a woman

do that, lets just

become Annabelle 2.0. ?

BEAUTY PAGENT! By: Doraisabel Gaxiola

As we all know the Annual
Spring Festival is right around
and for the first time in
Mayberry history we will be
ending this years festivities
with a Beauty Pageant. The
Beauty Pageant will be judged
by no other than Sheriff Andy
Taylor. BUT as we all know
things have gone missing from
time to time down here in
Mayberry. The missing case
of the gingerbread cookies,
Linuss Blanket, and Wilson
volleyball head to just name a
few.
The Beauty Pageants crown
went missing yesterday
afternoon. One moment the

crown was there and the

next it wasnt. According
to all the girls at
rehearsal, no one saw or

and all the girls came up

with was that Lassie
might of confused the
crown was her next new

heard anything. Hmm,

who could it have been
then? Could it have been
Leia Solo, Rudy
Huxtable, Thelma Lou or
Wednesday Adams? Well,

shiny bone ready to be

buried.

ladies and gentleman, it

was none of these
beauties. It was no other
than Lassie. Lassie, the
dog? Yes, Lassie the dog.
How? Sheriff, Andy
Taylor found her trying to
bury it in his garden and
the only conclusion he

Due to this crazy ordeal,

Sheriff Andy Taylor now
believes that maybe
Lassie has everything to
do with the missing items
of Mayberry. A digging
expedition will begin after
the Spring Festival. Lets
all hope its a successful
expedition, because
between you and I, I sure
do miss my dear friend
Wilson.

TYPE TITLE HERE

Floyds Barber Shop CLOSED

Floyds Barbershop;

By: Chantelle Rigby

this morning. If you were

us that if he cannot keep

once a place of clean

a victim of his criminal

his hair, then nobody

shaves, fresh haircuts,

acts then unfortunately

gets to. But the good

and of course, gossip

the news hit you sooner

news is, we are

among Mayberrys men,

than the rest of us.

celebrating the grand

has officially been closed

Floyd has been using his

opening of Goobers

down until further

tip money to pay the

Great Wigs and Hats

notice. Opies Monday

children of our town to

tomorrow at noon!

afternoon appointment

replace all of their

Dont miss it! And we

was abruptly interrupted

fathers shampoo with

are currently in the

when Sheriff Andy

hair removal liquid!

process of hiring the

Taylor rushed in with his

Apparently, one child

town's newest barber, so

handcuffs. He slammed

reported, Mr. Floyd

once our men have

them onto Floyds

Lawson continuously

grown back

wrists and off they went!

talked about how his

their manes, it is time to

Now we werent quite

own hair was falling out

show us your talent!

certain what the cause

and he was jealous of all

Must be 14 or older to

of his arrest was until

the towns men. He told

apply.

CLOSED until further notice.