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Josue Ibarra
Professor Jon Beadle
English 113B
11 May 2016
Reflective Essay
My first year at CSUN, I improved to become a better writer. I am currently in the
process to improve my writing and critical thinking skills every year. I cannot regress on my
progression to become a better writer. The best alternative to improve my writing is to keep on
writing. The key component for improvement is practicing. I have written many essay
throughout my life and I learn to correct my mistakes. I took my professors advice in order to
improve my writing. Their advice was to rewrite the essay as many times as possible. There is
not a rule that says one draft is perfectly fine. When it comes to rewriting your essay, revision is
important because you are able to find mistakes and correct them. There is a less of a chance of
doing the same mistake again after correcting the mistake. In my current situation, I have written
two essays for my English 113B class. Project Space and Project Text are my two essays this
semester. The most important outcome in writing these essays is my improvement as a writer. I
did improve as a writer after my Project Space and Project Text essays because I had the ability
to get a higher grade and I was more capable in writing an essay.
In my Project Space essay, the prompt was to analyze the ways I communicate with my
members of my culture and with people of different cultures and space that are occupied by my
culture. I selected to be within the academic culture because the academic culture has been with
me since my early years in school. After identifying with my culture, I needed to explain various
questions to why I identify with my culture. I needed to include my personal experience in order

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to make my essay seem more credible. The first improvement made in my essay was to clarify
the second paragraph. I first sentence said that everyone is part of the academic culture, The
academic culture is a universal culture that almost everyone is part of. After revising this
paragraph, I needed to include the people that are not part of the culture. In my revise Project
Space essay I include, There are others that are not part of the academic culture because school
was not there strength. School is the starting point in the academic culture, but there are
individuals that do not finish their education. To put in a way, I am referring to the people who
are not part of the academic culture. I analyzed my point further because in the beginning I said
that everyone is part of the academic culture when this is not true.
After reading my essay over and over again, I realized that I needed more specific
examples to use. When the writer is trying to argue something, it is good to use examples like
personal experiences or other credible sources. In my case, I did use personal experiences, but
they were not specific enough. I stated that the academic culture brings success to your life if you
are part of it. This sentence is just a general statement. In my revised essay, I included, The way
I talk to my professors and fellow classmates is considered to be appropriate. For example,
good morning professor, how is your day going? This type of language is considered to be
educated because there is no foul language involved. In other words, I gave a specific example
on how educated I am because I am part of the academic culture. The language involved is
acceptable in the academic culture. There seems to be respect between the professor and the
student. There is another general statement made in one of my paragraph. I wrote that in a
classroom setting, the conversation or the language used between students is academic because
school is involved. I gave an example when I help students with their FAFSA. I was not specific
about it, so in my revised essay I included I demonstrated my capacity by helping them

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complete their FAFSA application before March 2nd. There were a few words that students were
not familiar with like independent or dependent. Independent means that someone needs support
from others and dependent means that he or she can survive on their own. The use of personal
experience in an essay helps the essay seem credible to the reader.
Going on to my Project Text essay, I felt that I improve as a writer because I learned from
previous mistakes. When I learn from my mistakes, I tend to commit them a few times. I am
confident that I made my revised essay more understandable and easy to work with. The
difference between Project Space and Project Text is the grade difference. I scored higher on my
Project Text essay. In other words, I improve from the previous essay. The first mistake I needed
to correct was my thesis statement or my argument. In my unrevised essay, I said that A is a
nonconformist when he transitions through different bodies (identities) because A does not
respect ones ideology. The problem in this sentence is that I could be referring to many
characters in the novel. I am only referring to the characters that have an impact. In my revised
Project Text essay, I stated that A does not respect Justin and Nathans ideology. In other
words, I am being more specifically on the characters I want to concentrate on. The characters
that have a bigger role.
My improvement from the first to the second essay shows signs of improvement. Also in
the revised essays because I corrected my mistakes. I noticed I common mistake from the last
essay. I am providing general examples. I need to be more specific when backing up my
argument. I stated in my unrevised Project Text essay that Rhiannon noticed something
different. Justin hardly acts nicely towards Rhiannon. Rhiannon still loves Justin no matter how
he acts towards her. I am giving evidence here, but it is not specific enough. In my revised
essay, Im glad youre not mad at me, she says. I just want everything to be okay (Levithan

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6). I added a specific example from the novel in order to add credibility to my essay. When
writing an argumentative essay, it is important to add outside sources that are credible.
When writing an argumentative essay, there needs to be a counterargument and a
refutation. I did attempted at a counterargument, but I was unclear on what I was refuting. My
own position could be more strongly stated. A is the last person to interfere with their
relationship. When A leaves Justin, Justin will be the same again and will not treat Rhiannon like
A did. Rhiannon will suffer again. To put in a way, this sentence is not clear. I need to explain
further. In my revised essay, I stated A will keep nonconforming to others ideology, until he/she
finally leaves Rhiannon alone. A has to conform to Justins ideology in order to make Rhiannon
realize that Justin is not the right guy for her. At the end of the novel, A wants Rhiannon to find a
new path. In other words, my refutation is backing up my argument in a way that it is providing
a possible solution to As problem.
My journey through Project Space and Project Text was a learning experience. I
improved as a writer. My grade did not change significantly, but my second essay contains fewer
mistakes and my argument was insightful and well supported. My journey does not end this
semester. I will continue to improve as a writer as long as I am willing put my effort.