Cindy Hernandez-English 363-01

by Cindy Hernandez

FILE

ST EM_CELL_RESEARCH_REVIEW_FINAL_DRAFT .DOCX (245.9K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

20-APR-2016 08:54PM

WORD COUNT

1844

SUBMISSION ID

662853036

CHARACT ER COUNT

10533

A very interesting review, Cindy! I didn't know

that scientists were already injecting live stem
cells straight into patients' blood, and that the
stem cells congregate at the site of disease!
If you decide to revise this, you'll be able to
achieve more depth by choosing one type of
treatment (say liver disease) and reviewing a
few studies in that field only.
more
appro
priate
than
what?

intro needs to be more focused--choose a single research

topic within stem cell research.

so they are abundant. :)

why do researchers stain them?

this is why we stain them?

remember, science prefers that we bury the citation in parentheses.

not sure what 1-6 are

showing. not sure what's in
the black center area.

explain

build this P

describe

Cindy Hernandez-English 363-01

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

78

Instructor

/200

PAGE 1

Text Comment.

A very interesting review, Cindy! I didn't know that scientists were already
injecting live stem cells straight into patients' blood, and that the stem cells congregate at the
site of disease!
If you decide to revise this, you'll be able to achieve more depth by choosing one type of
treatment (say liver disease) and reviewing a f ew studies in that f ield only.

Text Comment.
QM

more appropriate than what?

S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

Text Comment.

intro needs to be more f ocused--choose a single research topic within

stem cell research.

PAGE 2

Comment 1
Oversimplif ication: Why is in vitro ("in glass") less invasive than in vivo (in lif e--in the whole
organism)? Without explanation this doesn't sound true.
QM

Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

Text Comment.

so they are abundant. :)

Text Comment.

why do researchers stain them?

Text Comment.

this is why we stain them?

Text Comment.

remember, science pref ers that we bury the citation in parentheses.

PAGE 3

QM

Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

QM

Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

PAGE 4

Text Comment.
QM

not sure what 1-6 are showing. not sure what's in the black center area.

delete
some words or phrases here are unnecessary; they may even cloud your meaing.

QM

unif y Ps
Each P should develop a single topic. Choose one of the topics included in this P and develop it
f ully using explanations, examples, details, etc.

PAGE 5
PAGE 6

Text Comment.

explain

Text Comment.

describe

Text Comment.

build this P

PAGE 7
PAGE 8
PAGE 9

RUBRIC: REVIEW ARTICLE RUBRIC 2

AUD. & PURP.

Prof icient

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas either need explanation
or are over explained and language needs adjustment f or the journal's audience.
Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with research regarding a contemporary subject of
interest) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) may be unclear at times, and it
may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT

Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) may be implied, but it's clear
and achieved.

ADVANCED

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to f amiliarize readers with
research regarding a contemporary subject of interest) is clear and achieved with
style.

SOURCES

Advanced

SLO #2: Find, evaluate, select, synthesize, organize, ethically cite, and present inf ormation f rom a variety
of sources appropriate to their disciplines.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Fails to use MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works
cited list as specif ied by journal. Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

DEVELOPING

A f ew errors in MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works

cited list. Sometimes uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT

Almost always uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and
works cited list as specif ied by journal. Use of sources is usually relevant and
persuasive.

ADVANCED

Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works
cited list as specif ied by journal. Use of sources is always relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION

Developing

SLO #3: Compare, contrast, and synthesize caref ully and objectively the relative merits of alternative or
opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Fails to demonstrate similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars. May be biased in presentation of research. Descriptions of research may be
unclear.

DEVELOPING

Sometimes demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars. Attempts to synthesize this research caref ully and objectively. Some
descriptions may be unclear.

PROFICIENT

Usually demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent
scholars with clarity. Synthesizes this research caref ully and objectively. Describes
the research, usually noting objectively merits of various procedures.

ADVANCED

Demonstrates similarities and dif f erences between research of dif f erent scholars
with clarity and sophistication. Synthesizes this research caref ully and objectively.
Describes the research, noting objectively merits of various procedures.

ORGANIZ AT ION

Prof icient

SLO #4: Organize ones thoughts and communicate them clearly to address a rhetorical situation. Employs
IMRAD structure where appropriate.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

Organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic sentences,

transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically connected. Ps are
usually not unif ied or organized.

DEVELOPING

Organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic sentences,

transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically
linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic

sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas together adequately.

ADVANCED

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (statement of purpose, headings, topic

sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas together logically and seamlessly.

LANG & DESIGN

Developing

SLO #5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT/BELOW
BASIC

T one and/or design usually suggest/s an absence of awareness of audience and/or

generic conventions. Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede
readability.

DEVELOPING

T one and/or design are/is sometimes inappropriate or unconventional. Spelling,

syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability or otherwise distract f rom
meaning.

PROFICIENT

Appropriate tone and design conf orm to assigned audience and genre. Spelling,
syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom meaning.

ADVANCED

Sophisticated tone and design engage reader and conf orm to assigned audience and
genre. Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence
variety.