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Briana Fox
1102-096
T. Sotirakopoulos
10 May 2016
Does Divorce Affect Children?
Divorce is an issue that is becoming more and more prevalent in todays society. There
are several reasons as to why spouses get divorced, such as loss of romantic feelings, infidelity,
marital conflict and so on. While the stresses of making the necessary changes within a family
often feels like the only option, children may become trapped within the chaos. Adolescents
around the world experience their parents divorcing all the time, and the emotional effects are
often overlooked. Unfortunately, during the time of divorce, the majority of all focus seems to be
drawn between the adults. Should we be concerned about the children and how they are
impacted? There are changes and potential consequences that are thrown onto the children,
which is forces a great deal of stress for them. Divorce causes deviant behavior, ruins parental
relationships and diminishes intimate relationships.
Deviant behaviors, meaning the state of departing from accepted standards in society, are
often found in children in relation to a divorce and often cause other psychological behaviors.
Laura R. Hartman attends the Graduate Program in Health and Rehabilitation Sciences at the
University of Western Ontario in Canada, and is accompanied at the university by Lilian
Magalhaes and Angela Mandich. Hartman, Magalhaes and Mandich wrote an article that
explores parental divorce and marital separation and how it affects adolescents through studies
done by several professionals. The article evaluates the ways in which different health-related
research fields are assessing adolescents experiencing a divorce.

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Within these studies, the term adolescence refers to those between the age of 10 and 19
(Hartman, Magalhaes and Mandic 492). The studies used quantitative, qualitative and other
methods to obtain the research. Several key findings were obtained. Individuals who experience
parental divorce in early adolescence are at significantly high risk for development of depressive
symptoms than those in intact families (Hartman 496). Depressive symptoms may lead to
deviant behaviors such as skipping school, using vulgar language towards a parent, and lashing
out. If a child becomes depressed because of divorce, they may not feel comfortable around that
parent anymore causing several forms of deviance.
Another form of deviant behavior is drug abuse. A significantly higher proportion of
adolescents from divorced parents began smoking over the duration of the study than from intact
families (Hartman 499). Some adolescents begin to smoke because of the large amounts of
stress they are juggling. Divorce may cause a lot of stress for some. Smoking relieves the stress
for said adolescents, and sometimes smoking can lead to using other drugs and consuming
alcohol. Such deviant behavior is capable of being more dangerous than others, as well as being
illegal.
It is often easier to understand an adults perspective than that of an adolescent because it
is easier for adults to express themselves. What Maisie Knew is a novel written by Henry James
that explicitly tells the story of a girl whose parents are going through a tough divorce. David
Pitcher, Childrens Guardian and Family Court Advisor, writes a discussion that attempts to cope
with the divorce as portrayed through this novel. Although this novel is fictional, it does well
acknowledging the true struggles that adolescents face in our society. Maisie is forced to live
with each of her divorced parents six months out of the year. The constant back and forth took a
toll on each of their relationships. After initially being required to pass messages to each of her

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parents from the other, Maisie resolves to remain silent, and to conceal her views, even at the risk
of appearing stupid. She accepts that the arrangement is the natural way for a child to have her
parents (Pitcher 520-521). Amongst the chaos and exchanging messages, Maisie was put
directly in the middle of the divorce and the parents constant battling. A child should not have to
witness this at first hand. After enough stress, Maisie decides to stay silent. This mean she cannot
speak to either of her parents about each other in fear of more fighting, and would rather look
stupid than continue to dabble in the chaos. The relationship between Maisie and her mother
and father no longer remains stable or comforting. The relationship now seems distant and cold.
The effects of losing the close relations to a parent may be long term.
The problems Maisie struggled with in the novel were portrayed in order to better
understand the struggles of children, who, in fact, struggle with similar stressors at home. It is
difficult for a child to choose between their parents. Although this may not be the case and the
parents are not forcing them to choose, several adolescents feel as if they are caught in this
position. This situation, if occurs, is extremely problematic. A child feels obligated to choose,
and sometimes completely shuts down and refuses to pick either parent, in order to prevent
problems, thus creating more stress and feeling a lack of belonging. The relationship between the
adolescent and the parent begins to deteriorate and losing the adolescent to parent relationship
causes problems for the future.
I created a survey to ask others about their experience with their parents divorce. I posted
this survey on my personal Facebook account. Although I only received 25 responses, my
discoveries did not surprise me. Out of all 25 respondents, 95.83 percent found out about the
divorce before the age of 21. One question I had asked, In one word, explain how you felt when
you learned about the divorce, (Fox) got responses such as confused, devastated, crushed,

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anxious, etc. Although not everyone had a negative response toward the question, majority of the
respondents felt negative towards the divorce. Answers like these not only gravitate toward
having negative emotions directly towards the divorce, but as well as their parents. In many
cases, a child grows up with little to no contact with their parents because of the stress faced
within the divorce. It is unfortunate when someone has to cope with problems such as these
growing up.
Another question I had asked in the survey was Have you ever thought you were the
cause of the divorce? (Fox). A total of 33.33 percent, or 8 respondents answered yes to this
question. When an adolescent believes they are the cause of the arguments and the separation, it
causes a down spiral of emotions and stresses. It is possible for a child to feel anger towards the
parents because of this, causing the relationship between parent and the adolescent to alter.
In an article called Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? written by David
Masci, senior writer/editor at Pew Research Center, Masci provides evidence that children of
divorced parents grow up with major struggles that impact childrens lives. In an interview
conducted with a woman named Janet, Masci reveals evidence that she cannot maintain a
healthy, committed relationship, due to her parents divorcing when she was ten years old. Janet
says, in the article, I never had an example of how to be successfully married. All I had was an
example of how to be successfully single. Janet uses personal experiences to show how the
divorce between her parents affected her personal relationships once she grew up. Divorce
affects the way you trust people and the amount of personal information you share in an intimate
relationship. These factors affect the stability of the relationship causing a lack of belonging.
Research can provide the facts, but research alone cannot answer questions of moral
judgment. Many Americans believe that divorce, in general, is a morally acceptable choice, and

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many, on the other hand, feel that divorce is a private, personal matter and completely up to their
beliefs. Some individuals may feel that arguments and disappointments justifies their divorce,
while other couples find reasons to stay together through adultery and abusive acts. I
acknowledge that some may say that parents should divorce in order to get away from certain
aspects of the relationship that may endanger themselves or their children. According to Markus
Kemmelmeier, professor at University of Nevada, Individuals have the right to be physically
and emotionally safe in a relationship. And society has the right to try to protect the moral
boundaries of marriage to preserve the integrity and even sacred nature of such an important
institution as marriage (Kemmelmeier 46). I agree that there are some situations that people
need to be removed from. A parents and childs safety is more important because the negative
psychological effects can be much greater in a dangerous household compared to a household
going through a divorce. However, in a marriage, if there are any ways to repair the relationship,
action must be taken. Effort and communication is key in rebuilding a foundation for a marriage.
Staying together, happily, for the sake of the family and adolescents is important and marriage
counseling is also an option.
Children and teenagers are too often faced with their parents divorcing, but the effects are
greater than they seem. Usually, parents let their children know that everything will be okay and
they will all still see each other on the weekends. Some adolescents do not see divorce as a minor
change in their lives. Unfortunately, the adolescents struggling with their parents divorcing act
out with deviant behavior, have unstable parental relationships and diminished intimate
relationships in the future. Difficult behavior, no longer speaking to parents and constant intimate
separations are not ideal situations to experience for those affected by their parents divorce. All

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of these aspects are reasons to think twice before getting a divorce. We often do not realize what
exactly the children feel until it is too late.

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Works Cited
Fox, Briana. Does Divorce Affect Children? Survey. SurveyMonkey. SurveyMonkey 24
Apr 2016. Web. 2 May 2016.
Hartman, Laura R., Lilian Magalhes, and Angela Mandich. "What Does Parental
Divorce Or Marital Separation Mean For Adolescents? A Scoping Review Of North American
Literature." Journal Of Divorce & Remarriage 52.7 (2011): 490-518. Academic Search
Complete. Web. 9 May 2016.
Kemmelmeier, Markus. "Divorce Attitudes Around the World: Distinguishing the Impact
of Culture on Evaluations and Attitude Structure." Academia.edu. Acedemia, 11 Sept. 2011. Web.
19 May 2016.
Masci, David. "Children and Divorce." CQ Researcher 19 Jan. 2001: 25- 40. Web. 18
May 2016.
Pitcher, David. "What Maisie Knew: A Child's Experience Of Divorce." Journal Of
Divorce &
2016.

Remarriage 52.7 (2011): 519-528. Academic Search Complete. Web. 18 May