Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
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Value Propositions
IN THIS EBOOK
1. Why You Must Spend 90% of Your Copywriting Time on the Headline ............................... 4
2. High-Converting Headlines for a Skeptical World ................................................................ 9
3. The 7 Secrets of Attention-Grabbing Headlines ................................................................. 15
4. 9 Formulas You Can Use to Write Headlines That Get Read and Convert ......................... 22
5. Subheads: The Powerful Opportunity Youre Ignoring ...................................................... 30
6. Quick Headline & Subhead Power Tips .............................................................................. 41
7. The Value Proposition Your Ticket to Converting More Visitors ..................................... 44
BONUS: Headline Hall of Shame ............................................................................................ 60
Website: copyhackers.com
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1.
Why You Must Spend 90% of Your Copywriting Time on
the Headline
Advertising maven David Ogilvy claimed that 5 times as many people read the headline as
read the body copy, which means that once youve written your headline, youve spent
eighty cents out of your dollar. Ogilvy was referring to print advertising, but the same
statement may hold true today.
Because, no matter what the media, people read the headline first.
Its true for PPC ads. Landing pages. Product pages. Even pricing pages.
You know it. I know it. Ogilvy knew it. Hell, even the customer may know it.
The headline is the most important copy on your page. Its the first message your visitor
will see, and it has one task: to stop visitors in their tracks.
Let me repeat that:
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Your headline will impact whether people read the next line. It will impact whether people
click on your call to action or not. It affects bounce, engagement, clicks, overall conversion
and even likelihood to return. In fact, on average, 8 out of 10 people will read your
headline but only 2 of those people will actually continue on to read the copy below.
So your headline has to do a ton of heavy lifting.
That said, how much time do you really spend working on your headline?
If you want your copy to be effective that is, if you want it to help make you money you
need to give it due attention. You need to make it your new partner. Spend your valuable
time with it. Wine and dine it. Flatter it. Let it turn you into its bitch for a while. Coax it,
massage it, stroke it until it gives you exactly the explosion of genius youre looking for.
If you plan on spending 3 days knocking out the copy for your site, expect to spend at least
2 of those days on headlines for your pages.
(Here youd thought that big ol Tour page was going to take up all your time! Nope. Itll be
the headlines.)
II.
III.
IV.
V.
Match visitor expectations, which means closely matching the language used in the
call to action be it a button or PPC ad that the visitor clicked to land on the page.
People want to find the useful info theyre looking for. That means lower bounce.
Intrigue the visitor enough to keep them moving down the page, be it by
highlighting value or incentives or promising something that is both enticing and
believable. The outcome of this is increased time on page.
Communicate clearly what the visitor can/should do on this page (i.e., page goal).
The outcome of this is qualifying visitors.
Get to the visitors point. That is, write what the visitor needs to see, succinctly
ideally in 12 or fewer words. The outcome of this is improved conversion.
Highlight a benefit. What 1 key outcome will the visitor enjoy after or while using
your solution?
Oh, and it needs to make people want to read the next line, too
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And if your headline is an H1, it should also solve for SEO (as much as it can), such as by
using the optimum keyword phrase for the page. See? Its got a lotta work to do!
Use this free scorecard from Copy Hackers to assess your own headline options on a pageby-page basis. So you can filter out the blah from the ya!
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Your headlines arent stand-ins for navigation. They should match expectations but they
shouldnt stop at that alone.
Theres a lot more work for you headline to do than just that, and youll be doing yourself a
favor if you remember that point when it comes time to write each and every page of your
site.
This book will reinforce this point again and again.
Youve been warned.
NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
Choose any page of your site whether youve already written it or youre about to write it
and write 10 headlines for that page. Yes, 10. At least 10!
Then measure each of those headlines in this free Copy Hackers headline scorecard, which
is also shown on the next page
Assess each headline against the 5 criteria. Be critical! Dont give a high rating on the
scorecard if a third party wouldnt agree with you. Instead, use the handy share feature to
get a link you can use to invite your coworkers and friends to score your headlines with you.
May the best headline win
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2.
High-Converting Headlines for a Skeptical World
Lets be clear: skeptical people have always existed. There have been and always will be
people who proudly declare, Advertising doesnt work on me! If you write your headline
with those people in mind, youll probably end up with a shy, tentative little weakling of a
headline that says nothing and takes no stand.
On the other hand, if you write headlines as if a large percentage of your prospects will
happily consume whatever slickster, huckster stuff you send their way, your headlines will
probably trigger alarms in your visitors minds and result in really high bounce rates.
So before we talk about writing the test-worthy headlines of your dreams which well do
in the next two chapters lets start with the more universally palatable ones
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I swiped that headline from a phrase that several survey respondents who were all users
of Crazy Egg had written to describe the key benefit they derived from using Crazy Egg
maps. The phrase most commonly appeared in the data like this:
I love that a Crazy Egg picture tells a story
So where did the word stunning come from? In the same survey, I asked Crazy Egg users
to choose 2 or 3 words to describe Crazy Egg. The word that appeared most frequently?
Stunning.
Can that headline be improved on? Sure! Every headline can. But heres whats great about
this headline for you, dear copy hacker: when you use the same phrasing that your existing
customers use assuming your existing customers are similar to your prospects you rarely
have to worry that youre going to turn off your more skeptical visitors.
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When quoting someone else, keep in mind that youre writing a headline and, as you
already learned, a headline has the burden of matching expectations, among other things.
So do your best to use quotes that incorporate keywords your prospects need to see. In the
case of Flow, the phrase task management app matched expectations.
On LetsFreckle.com (2014), Amy Hoy quotes her own customer in her headline:
That headline matches expectations for visitors seeking a time tracking solution. It also
explicitly references a challenge that good prospects will be likely to relate to.
HighriseHQ.com (2014) also uses customer testimonials as headlines:
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Its preceded by a line that helps explain whos likely to say such a thing. And its followed
by supporting bullets that expand on the but, which intentionally hangs on the headline.
As you may be starting to notice, these headlines dont necessarily follow any formulas you
may be familiar with, and theyre not jaw-dropping heart-stoppers. Sure, they tick the boxes
referenced in Chapter 1 but the reason theyre so good for skeptical audiences is because
they let someone else do the talking.
Skeptical audiences are skeptical of marketers and sales people.
That doesnt mean that they are closed off to hearing your message.
They just need it to be somewhat more credible than your average hard-hitting headline is.
Notice the promise we make in that headline? We dont explicitly promise anything;
instead, we make a realistic and implied promise of value: youre going to stand out in the
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Now compare that headline to this one, which we tested against the one above:
See the difference? The word Save in the Control is replaced with the phrase Get the
Right Policy at the Right Price in Variation B. The only other element that changed on this
page was a tweak to the button copy, where we went from Get My Quotes to Show Me
My Quotes. Can you guess which one won?
The longer version beat the Control, bringing in 21.1% more form submissions.
People will tell you that you need to edit your headline until its fewer than 7 words. But
repeated experiments show that breaking up summary words, like save, and highlighting
the benefits hidden within those summary words can lead to higher-converting copy.
You dont have to make dramatic claims or shock-and-awe people for your headline to
perform well. Some of the most palatable headlines bring in amazing results without
raising the ire of skeptics and, importantly, without compromising brands.
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That said, when you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, you usually either see
incredible results or take away great insights. So check out the next two chapters and
commit to testing the headlines and subheads of your pages using the techniques youre
about to learn
NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
Whether you have customers or not, you should, dear copy hacker, have at least a little
market research. What are the top pains your prospects are experiencing? Write 1 pain out
in the first person (I) or first-person plural (We) with quotation marks around it. Youve
just written the first draft of a home page or landing page headline.
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3.
The 7 Secrets of Attention-Grabbing Headlines
Amazing headlines dont happen by accident. They take work. But what kind of work?
How do you get to the point of having an amazing, attention-grabbing headline? the kind
that will stop visitors in their tracks? Well, youll be happy to know there are a few tricks the
best copywriters know and employ repeatedly.
Secret tricks that can lure visitors in.
Secret tricks that not only can but will be the difference between boring copy and
memorable copy. Those tricks are here. Theyre the ones youll want to test to see how
your audience responds to them and exactly how much money theyre bringing in.
And each trick is supported by headline examples that reflect some of the copywriting and
direct-response masters, like Eugene Schwartz, Gary Bencivenga and Lawrence Bernstein.
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When you stomp the biggest or most curious objection to pieces in your headline alone,
people tend to believe youll bash the other objections to bits, too. Or they just plain forget
about their smaller objections because youve taken care of the biggie. Yes, they can forget.
If your headline is powerful enough and the copy that supports it is persuasive enough,
people as consumers looking for the least amount of friction possible in life while also
looking for a miracle drug people will believe it. They actually want to believe you.
OBJECTION
HEADLINE
Now, you may think that those sorts of headlines are cheesy or that they feel a bit scammy.
And thats fine. You dont have to use each trick here. But if your current headline isnt
working why not A/B test one that makes you uncomfortable?
An example of this trick at play comes courtesy of TheSecretOfRaisingMoney.com (2014),
which I happily coached Michael Simpson to write. The objection? Raising money is too
hard for me to do. The headline that stomps it to smithereens?
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When information is just as you expect it to be, its not interesting. Its just research.
Being unexpected with your headline copy usually means going against your natural
inclination to be explicit and direct. Were told to get to the point, and were told not to
waste time so we think we must simply relay information. But thats not entirely true.
Winning headlines relay information but then they go the extra mile. They:
Arrogant
Little-known
Curious
Wunderkind
Violent
Unlikely
Pure
Explosive
Fat-Destroyer
Startling
Astronomical
The list could truly go on endlessly. The point is to be aware of unusual words and to use
them alongside or in the midst of more typical words.
You might also try your hand at unexpected analogies. But how do you arrive at an
unexpected analogy? It requires a little skill in contrasting and juxtaposing. Like comparing
something beautiful to something painful. Or comparing freedom to capture.
Ill Make You a Mental Wizard as Easily as This
Will This Be the Most Explosive Turn Around in the History of the Stock Market?
Pick Yourself a Fortune from the Money Trees
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Since this book was first published in 2011, tricks like this one have become somewhat
overused by content curation services like Upworthy.com. Im personally not against those
services or their headlines but its important to recognize the backlash here.
Be careful not to overdo any trick. But, on the flip side, dont be afraid to try using headlines
like Upworthy uses just because you think someone will misjudge you for it. The problem
people have with Upworthy is not that they have great headlines; its that their headlines
often fail to reflect the content theyre selling accurately:
Upworthy.com (2014)
Greed
Lust
Pride
Power
Revenge
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These are not pretty emotions. But theyre powerful. Which is why they sell.
Is It Immoral to Make Money This Easily?
Why Models Stay Young Till Sixty!
Can You Save Twice What Your Father Retired On Before You Turn 35?
#1
Worth
The reason
Feel
Combine trigger words together to build intriguing headlines. For example, the littleknown reason or the one and only way to train your brain while you sleep.
And to take things even further, use trigger words in questions that tap into a visceral
emotion in an unexpected way.
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NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
Take a headline youve written, and rewrite it using each of the above secret tricks. You
should end up with a handful of headlines; dont try to cover all the tricks in one headline.
Are you ready to go to your site and test a few of these headlines? Whats stopping you?
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4.
9 Formulas You Can Use to Write Headlines That Get Read
and Convert
If you had to write every headline on your page from scratch, out of the corners of your
brain, youd probably end up with the usual drab stuff littering ecommerce sites today:
Choose from Our Top-Rated Products
Online Travel Booking Just Got Fun
Welcome to Our Site
Product Features & Benefits
How It Works
Plans & Pricing
Its hard to keep your creative juices flowing while balancing everything else thats required
in a headline, like motivation, keywords, previous page call to action the list goes on. (Its
what this whole book is about so, yeah.) Not to mention actually growing your startup into
a fully operational, money-making business.
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TIP:
Dont worry about getting your
headline right immediately. In
fact, try not to start a page by
writing your headline at all.
Write everything else, then the
headline! If youre compelled to
write a headline first, use a
placeholder. Whatever you do,
dont fixate on it. Therell be
plenty of time to stress about
your headline later.
FORMULA 1:
THE TIMED OR ELSE PROMISE
FORMULA: Highly desirable thing + time limit + consequence if highly desirable thing not
delivered
Your Dream House Blueprints in 7 Days or Theyre Free
Setup Your Next A/B Test in 15 Minutes or Well Do It for You
FORMULA 2:
THE EVEN-IF OBJECTION-STOMPER
FORMULA: Now + highly desirable thing you can do + even if objection
Now You Can Build an iPhone App Even If Youre Not a Programmer
Now You Can Run User Tests Even If You Have Almost No Budget
FORMULA 3:
THE HOW-TO
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FORMULA 4:
THE QUANTITY
FORMULA A: [Numeral + noun(s)] + verb + object
64,456 People Have Already Told Their Friends about Blastobot
FORMULA B: Verb + [numeral + noun]
Made with a Special Blend of 11 Herbs & Spices
Get 1,000+ New Twitter Followers
FORMULA 5:
THE LIST
FORMULA A: [Numeral + noun] + pronoun + big, scary problem
7 Signs Youre Trapped in a Contract
The Top 16 Reasons Business Owners Choose to Bleed Time Using Spreadsheets
FORMULA B: [Numeral + noun] + to verb + benefit
3 Insanely Satisfying Ways to Put Your Analytics to Immediate Use
FORMULA C: Do You + verb + [numeral + noun] + subject of intense curiosity?
Do You Know the 11 Things Your Kids Are Doing on Facebook?
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FORMULA 6:
THE WHY, WHEN OR HOW
FORMULA: Why, When or How + statement of great intrigue
Why SEO Is No Longer a Mystery
When GalleyHoo Had IBM Shaking in Its Big, Fat, Expensive Boots
How Mint Is Saving Consumers $300 Each Month in Credit Card Charges
FORMULA 7:
THE ULTIMATE
FORMULA: The Ultimate X
The Ultimate WordPress Theme Gallery
The Ultimate FREE Anti-Virus Software
The Ultimate in Customization and Happiness
FORMULA 8:
THE NO-HOLDS-BARRED
FORMULA: The + [Adjective, Adjective + Way] + desirable but difficult thing
The Brilliant, Hassle-Free Way to Tweet Every Day
The Lightning Fast, Easy Way to Run Free Background Checks
FORMULA 9:
THE SIMILE
FORMULA A: Do X + like + Y
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EVIL FORMULA 1:
THE FUTURE
FORMULA: The future of X is here
The future of home contracting is here
The future of online gold sales is here
EVIL FORMULA 2:
WELCOME TO
FORMULA A: Welcome to + anything
FORMULA B: Welcome to the next generation of + anything
FORMULA C: Welcome to the future of + anything
Welcome to the future of radio
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EVIL FORMULA 4:
THE MISPLACED TAGLINE
Note: Theres nothing wrong with taglines.
But they shouldnt be used as headlines.
FORMULA: Word. Word. Word.
Play. Laugh. Achieve.
Dont. Stop. Believing.
This proves that, in times when intrigue is already high, the best strategy may be to stick to
these basics rather than push emotions even higher:
1. What can a person do on this page?
2. What benefit will they derive from doing so?
Dont overdo it.
Do it just enough.
Basecamp.com (2014)
Basecamp has moved away from a harder-hitting claim to social proof.
Although Basecamp is no longer taking the big-claim approach, other tech businesses are.
Feed.fm (2014)
TheZebra.com (2014)
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CopyHackers.com (2014)
Yes, startups are actually using these techniques to write their headlines and subheads.
Theyre just doing it with better design than anyone ever saw in the old-school Donald
Draper-esque days that first made these headline formulas popular.
Startups are making their headlines more believable than traditional intriguing headlines
by putting them in websites that look gorgeous. And theyre supporting their claims with
great social proof, like Facebook likes, testimonials, and PR mentions.
NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
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5.
Subheads: The Powerful Opportunity Youre Ignoring
When we talk about subheads, were talking about two different things:
1. The supporting line of text beneath the headline at the top of the page
2. The small headlines that introduce copy chunks or sections down the page
Those two types of subheads are similar in that their chief goal is to compel readers down
the page. But not in many other ways. And, after all, isnt the goal of almost all your copy,
except maybe your call to action, to move people down to the next line of copy? Yes, it is.
So those two types of subheads actually have very little in common other than their
name.
Thats why, to get the most out of your subheads, you need to learn how to write each
type. Why? Because subheads are for scanners. Making them insanely powerful copy.
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To see what I mean, take a look at the following example, which is taken from
PayByGroup.com (2014), a solution that lets groups of people pool their funds to pay for
something:
Between the headline and the subhead, which tells you what PayByGroup does?
Does it actually bring people together? No. Trains do that. Busses do that. Cars do that.
Heres what PayByGroup, as a service, lets you do:
That headline falls into Evil Formula 4 it is really just a tagline. The goods are stuffed
into a rather nice line that comprises the subhead.
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What anxieties
Can something
might this introduce
delightful,
that need prompt
beneficial or
neutralizing?
valuable be added?
Am I going to have
Tell them how much
to install an app? Is
money users have
it free?
saved on average
with our app.
I dont want my
family to think Im
cheap. My uncle
isnt tech savvy;
thisll be too hard.
Give examples of
when this can be
particularly
valuable, like for
milestone gifts.
When youre completing your table, you may find youve got a lot more objections to list
off. You may also want to prioritize them as some messages are going to be more important
than others. (See the worksheet at the end of this chapter.)
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Ive found that countering objections and highlighting value make for great subheads. Many
anxieties dont need to be addressed until your prospect is closer to the point of
purchasing, but test subheads that address anxieties nonetheless to be sure.
Sometimes your headline will introduce something so huge, it cant be addressed in the
subhead. It might, instead, be the subject that your entire page will be trying to support.
Take, for example, the headline I created for CrazyEgg.com (2014):
What questions or objections might that headline raise? So many that half the page was, in
fact, dedicated to addressing those questions. After all, the Crazy Egg picture referenced
is actually any of 4 maps in Crazy Egg and the stunning story can be 30 or more insights
youll derive from a Crazy Egg map.
Now, the reason I didnt directly address objections associated with the headline wasnt
simply that the objections were vast and numerous. Rather, I found, during research, that
people often didnt know quite when to use a Crazy Egg heatmap. That was a product
objection: When will I even use it? It wasnt an objection necessarily raised by the headline.
So instead of directly supporting the headline, I directly addressed a common objection to
signing up for Crazy Egg: When will I even use it?
If you know you have a major objection to address, dont hesitate to test it in your subhead.
In this case, it may also have been something to address in the headline but that wasnt
the route we took. (And we had a winner with the above copy. Of course, theres always
room for improvement!)
Another option is not to have a subhead at all.
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When you have a particularly lengthy headline, you may not find it needs any sort of
support. Or you may introduce it with a shorter line that needs to be said above the fold but
doesnt need to be positioned as a subhead usually is: under the headline.
For example, Magisto.com (2011) positions a supporting point above the intriguing
headline.
This page brought in 51% more paid conversions for App Design Vault than the previous
home page, which spoke more to money-savings, did. Its based on the value that App
Design Vault customers said they derived from using these clean and modern templates.
Now, to look at this headline, you might quickly come up with an objection that a subhead
could address such as, If itll set me apart, prove it! Give me the name of an app Id know
that its worked for. We could have added a few well-known names to a subhead because,
in fact, founder Tope Abayomi has tons of representative apps on his site. But such a
subhead actually felt like a bit of an unnecessary tangent.
The goal of your subhead is not to close the story. Its to move people to the next line with
confidence that they can trust what youre going to say. So dont feel the need to say
everything in your subhead.
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Every time you transition from one point to another, you should use a subhead to
introduce the new point. Which means every block of text you use and every callout box
you have should be introduced by this type of subhead.
These subheads often act like mini-headlines. Their goal is to draw the visitors eye and get
them intrigued enough to keep reading. That said, you rarely want to employ the headline
secrets taught earlier in this ebook when youre writing these mini-headlines. You want to
build credibility and prove the depth of your solution by writing subheads that are:
Short
Clear
Benefit-focused
Sometimes slightly cute or clever
If your subheads sound too salesy, you may run the risk of compromising your credibility. If
theyre too cute, though, you run the risk of confusing your prospect; of course, if theyre
bland, you may lose the opportunity to develop a brand voice with which people can
connect.
That said, experienced copywriters and long-form copywriters can write subheads that have
all the power of primary headlines with a hint of humor or levity. And you can, too. But I
caution you to do so carefully and intentionally and always with your customer hat on.
After all, if every subhead you write expressly communicates a really valuable benefit, then
you will be doing what all the great headlines do, anyway. And then it becomes the job of
the body copy below your subhead the chunk of text, the bullets, the numbered lists, the
testimonial or data point to support that subhead.
So, a reminder: effective subheads in this category are short, clear and benefit-focused,
with only a touch of cleverness.
Lets look at a few examples of startups that get this really right.
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FreshBooks.com (2011)
FreshBooks.com (2014)
KISSinsights.com (2011)
Qualaroo.com (2014)
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The next example is simply one of failing to think of the benefit of security as a feature. Its
fine to lead with a feature sometimes, but this particular startup leads with the feature
every time and never touches on the benefit. Shame, shame, double-shame.
What is a crosshead? Its your subhead, centered and bolded, but made much, much better.
Its written just like a page headline. Imagine that every section or group youre introducing
has had its own page written for it. That page needs a headline. That headline is your
crosshead.
Take a look at crossheads on a few hybrid long-copy pages Ive worked on.
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QuickSprout.com/pro (2014)
InspirePay.com (2014)
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CrazyEgg.com (2014)
Instead of trying to squeeze your best messages into a little subhead shoved to the right or
left of a screenshot, why not allow your visitors the ease of reading a high-impact crosshead
that says so much more than a subhead ever could?
NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
Refer back to one of the headlines you worked on in the last few chapters. Now complete
the table on the following page to get closer to finding the message you should cover in the
subhead that goes below a headline. With your table complete, write at least 2 variations of
a subhead for a headline.
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PAGE: ______________________________________________
HEADLINE: __________________________________________
What objections might a
prospect have after reading
this headline?
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6.
Quick Headline & Subhead Power Tips
I realize that sometimes I make assumptions about how much people already know
about writing copy. Sometimes Im wrong. After all, a lot of it is pretty common-sense.
But then theres the stuff thats not. Or the stuff thats important enough that it bears
repeating.
Thats what this chapter will cover off: the bits and pieces you need to know to write
great headlines, crossheads, subheads and, hell, any copy!
Target Pain
The best headlines hit on a real customer pain in clear, powerful language that proves
that each and every customer must have your solution if theyre ever to be happy again.
Dont Be Tentative!
Make a statement that someone might later describe as rocking their socks off. Give it
a shot! If you test it, youll know fairly quickly if your risk will pay off or not.
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Dont Overpromise
Dont overpromise with your headline or you will be quickly found out and your
credibility may be irreparably tarnished.
Consistently Capitalize
You can capitalize all the words in your headline (i.e., use Title Case) or you can
capitalize just the first word (i.e., use Sentence case). But whatever you do, do it
consistently.
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HEADLINE:
___________________________________________________________________
SUBHEAD:
___________________________________________________________________
I am 99.9% confident this headline will stop visitors in their tracks
My subhead is not an afterthought but a power-packed mini-headline
The message my visitor wants to see is clearly communicated in a way that
will make sense to anyone with a grade 6 reading level
I address a specific pain with a tangible benefit but I dont overpromise
I highlight a value or incentive in an enticing, believable way
The most likely call to action that will lead visitors here is reflected in the
headline or subhead
Im either asking a question or making a bold statement
If Im using a list, my numbers are believably imperfect
All numbers that appear in my headline are written as numerals
Any included SEO keyword phrases read naturally not like theyve been
jammed into an otherwise good headline
The headline is less than 12 words or, if its more, its intentionally more
and cannot be shortened without losing its impact
Interesting words are interspersed with normal words for impact
My punctuation and capitalization are intentional
The headline makes people want to read the subhead, and the subhead
makes people want to read the next line of copy
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7.
THE VALUE PROPOSITION YOUR TICKET TO
CONVERTING MORE VISITORS
Your value proposition is possibly the most important headline you will write. One of the
primary recommendations I make to every startup that reaches out to me is that they use
their value proposition as their home page headline. And Im making the same
recommendation to you now.
A value proposition is essentially a succinct, specific, sticky statement describing whats
unique and highly desirable about your solution. It can be a headline. Or a headline and
subhead. Or a headline, subhead and bullet points.
Value propositions dont use gimmicks. Or tricks. The secrets to getting it right are not
hidden at all.
And yet a good value proposition is almost impossible to find.
Why is that? Why dont startups, agencies or large organizations alike use value
propositions on their home page to communicate the core of their value?
Because its deadly difficult to get the value proposition right.
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So heres what I recommended Shereef do to improve his headline, and heres what Id
recommend you do with your value proposition, for starters:
Use words that would be easy for a grade 6 student to grasp instantly, without
flinching or re-reading
Give up on trying to cram in everything you think is important
Use words people recognize and would associate with your product, like project
management tool (bonus: this also helps with SEO)
Incorporate words that indicate who your product is best for (e.g., ideal for
startups)
Now, dont get me wrong. There are a lot of people maybe youre one of them who
might read that 6-word headline and not break out in a cold sweat.
Im just not one of them.
And Im willing to bet that the majority of people looking for project management software
would be just as dumbfounded by that headline as I was.
Of course, Im not one to point out a problem without recommending a solution except
with my hubby, but thats what keeps him on his toes.
After thoroughly reviewing Shereefs site and the sites of his main competitors, as well as
watching his fantastic demos, I offered him these value propositions to test against his
scary would-be value proposition:
Do I have a superiority complex? Am I a picky SOB? Worse, am I unable to see the flaws in
my own work?
Yes to all of the above, but that has nothing to do with why I proposed those 4 messages.
I proposed them because they communicate What visitors want to see without
compromising What Shereef wanted to say about his offering. As the first message on
bettermeans.com, a service that was new at the time and had no brand equity, that single
statement was and is the most important statement Shereef could communicate.
The same is true for any startup which means its true for your startup.
In the absence of universal awareness of your brand, you need the headline on your
home page or your highest-traffic landing page to do the heaviest lifting.
That one headline can be the difference between an 80% and a 60% bounce rate.
That one headline can keep visitors on your site longer.
And that one headline can, in the end, cause more visitors to convert into customers.
The headline on your home page should be your value proposition. Let me remind you what
a value proposition is:
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A list of benefits
An about us statement
A mission statement
It is unique. It speaks to value (and that doesnt mean price!). And it is a proposition, which
means a suggestion for another persons consideration.
Sometimes, it can be your tagline but keep in mind that most taglines are so soft and
flavorless, they dont meet the exclusivity criteria for a value prop.
Here are some well-known examples of companies/brands with clear value props.
Wendys
Fresh, quality, great-tasting fast food made with real ingredients.
M&Ms
The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
Kayak
Compare hundreds of travel sites at once to find the deal thats right for you.
Some of those brands have translated their value proposition into a tagline. For example,
M&Ms actually used their value proposition word-for-word as their tagline.
(Interesting fact, M&Ms is the first company ever to have a value proposition, and its
founder, Forrest Mars Sr., is the character on whom Donald Draper in the Mad Men TV
series is based.)
Kayak, on the other hand, morphs their value prop into their tagline: Search One and Done.
The coffee brewing system Tassimo has a fantastic tagline that is also its value proposition:
The barcode brews it better.
You may be wondering right now and I wouldnt blame you who the Helsinki Joanna
Wiebe is to come in here and say who has a good value prop and who doesnt. So lets
unpack the M&Ms and the Tassimo tagline-cum-value propositions so you can see if Im a
total nut-job or if I may be on to something here.
Remember I said that a value proposition, to be effective, needs to do 4 things:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Highlights the benefits or values of your offering that are most desirable to visitors
Applies only to your brand or offering that is, its exclusive to you
Is stated in a single, succinct, meaningful and clear statement
Gets specific
Is memorable or sticky
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Using those four points as criteria, lets assess a few of my favorite value propositions.
UNIQUE
X
DESIRABLE
X
SPECIFIC SUCCINCT
X
X
X
STICKY
X
The M&Ms value prop is a no-brainer. Its perfect. If you want to model yourself after one
products value prop, thats the one to copy. It hits all 5 points and stands the test of time.
Lets move on to Tassimo. As a coffee drinker who gets very, very annoyed at family
functions, church events, etc. where the coffee tastes like dirty water, I was and am thrilled
by the idea of the Tassimo brewer. Im their target customer no question about it.
If Tassimo actually does brew a better cup of coffee [desirable] thanks to its barcode system
[exclusive], Im sold. (And as soon as my espresso maker is toast, Ill be heading to Tassimo.)
Which brings me to the other 2 important parts of crafting a value proposition and writing
all copy in general:
1. Your message must be honest. You cant make something up that you wish were
true of your product and expect that not to backfire on you. It will.
2. Your message must be believable. If I didnt believe the technology existed to read
brewing directions from a barcode, Id have a hard time buying the Tassimo value
prop.
open, democratic,
decentralized social enterprise
management
UNIQUE
-
DESIRABLE
-
SPECIFIC SUCCINCT
X
X
STICKY
-
Although the solution itself is desirable, the value prop doesnt give anybody the chance to
understand that desirability that inherent value at a glance. As it is, the words, though
specific, arent remotely sticky, and theres no sense of whether others offer what they do.
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To get this value prop to a place where it can be successful requires working on the copy
again and again until the average sixth grader could read it and get it.
As someone external to BetterMeans and basing my assumptions of the BetterMeans
offering on the copy already on the website and on nothing else I proposed the 4 value
props that I discussed a few pages back. Theyre in the leftmost column of the following
table, ready to be assessed against the 5 criteria.
UNIQUE
DESIRABLE
X
SPECIFIC SUCCINCT
X
STICKY
Although the first and fourth value propositions may flow well and read like decent copy,
when measured objectively, neither satisfies a critical component of a well-crafted value
proposition: uniqueness.
If your value proposition does not easily state what is uniquely different about your
company and/or offering, throw it out and start from scratch. There are better value props
out there; you just have to work harder on finding yours. In some cases, that may be
identifying a gap in the marketplace and actually adapting your product so it is the only
offering that does X making it exclusive and, bingo, valuable.
Your customers need to want what you offer.
Your customers need to understand what you offer.
Your customers and your competitors customers need to know that youre the only one
to go to if they want what you offer. And your customers need to remember your value
today and ten years from now.
With those criteria in mind, only one of the proposed value props could work: The
innovative project management tool for innovative small businesses. Id push that value
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prop further to make it clearer and crisper, but you can see its an improvement.
TIP:
If you want to find a companys value proposition and its not visible on their site, check out
the meta-description for their home page. Its usually there.
TIP:
If TechCrunch has already written about you, check out the line they use to describe your
product or service and use that for your value proposition. Nine times out of 10, the
writers at TechCrunch home in on the most desirable and exclusive elements of your
offering in clear, succinct statements.
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PicLyf is this richly layered way to take your photos and turn
them into stories. The only problem is that, as fun as
stories should be and as wicked as the stories actually look
in the end, it can sound like a lot of work to craft a story
out of your photos.
PicLyf.com is now
Lifebit.com
Other photo-sharing sites let you do little more than upload, organize and tag photos but
theyve trained users to share their photos quickly.
So PicLyf needed a way to express their value in visitor-centric language that highlights just
how desirable the solution is.
When I started the project, the PicLyf home page had this as the solutions value
proposition:
Contextualizing pictures
Optimized user interface ideal for social networking
Game mechanics, like badges
Intelligent integration with social networks
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Unfortunately, only game mechanics seemed to have the potential to be sexy enough to
garner any attention but we doubted that it was desirable enough to hold up a whole
value prop.
In fact, we determined that the best differentiator was the ability to contextualize pictures.
We just needed an interesting way to express this.
We also determined that, given how innovative the PicLyf solution is, the value prop might
work best alongside a strong demo that explains how PicLyf works.
Finally, we forced ourselves to answer 2 key questions before proceeding:
1. Why would visitors switch from their current photo-sharing tool?
2. Who are the early adopters we should be speaking to?
Thankfully, Eric understood his visitors well.
We determined that the PicLyf value prop would need to express the PicLyf value versus
that of its competitors and that it would need to speak to women organizing family photos
and teenagers marking up photos with friends.
But sometimes, you just need a brainwave.
It occurred to me, while wading through tech jargon about interfaces and integration, that
you may take tons of photos today, thanks to digital photography, but the ones you keep
and share are the ones that capture a truly fun event.
Like rolling your kayak in Hawaii.
Or watching your boss breakdance at happy hour.
Or dressing up for an Ugly Christmas Sweater party.
That, with everything else, led me to the following PicLyf value prop proposals:
Layer captions, tags, notes & more on your fave photos. And share em!
Where photo-sharing is almost as fun as being there.
Seriously fun ways to tag & share your photo stories.
Make your pics tell better stories easily + for free.
Your life isnt boring. Why should your photos be?
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I assessed and ranked all proposals, and I recommended Seriously fun ways to tag & share
your photo stories because, although it did not speak to exclusivity, it satisfied the other 4
criteria and suggested the difficult-to-pinpoint value of contextualizing pictures.
Eric tested my value proposition against his control, and I am happy to report that mine
beat the control. It became the new headline the value prop on the home page.
Unique (The all-in-one system, where the suggests others dont do the same)
Desirable
Specific
Succinct
Sticky
BackupMyTree.com
The easiest way to preserve your familys history.
Unique (easiest)
Desirable
Specific
Succinct
Sticky
Unique (better, where better suggests the competition cant match them)
Desirable
Specific
Succinct
Sticky
Verious
The worlds first marketplace for mobile app components
Zendesk
The Fastest Way to Great Customer Support
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NEXT STEPS
~ APPLY WHAT YOUVE LEARNED NOW ~
You need a value proposition on your home page. Not just any value prop, though. You
need one that hits all the marks.
Your task now is to list out the top distinguishing features of your solution and their
emotional benefits; highlight the features that are unique to your product. If youve already
completed Copy Hackers Book 1: Where Stellar Messages Come From, then you can refer to
your product positioning document here and save yourself a heap of time.
With your features and benefits in hand, brainstorm 6 to 10 value propositions.
Then, use the table on the next page to assess each value prop.
If none of them come close to meeting the mark, start all over again. This exercise is worth
the time it will take!
Once you find a value prop that hits 3 of the 4 points, simply revise that value prop until its
just right. (Refer back to the secrets and formulas in the headline chapters for help
breathing life into your value prop.)
And then this is the most important part test it as the headline on your home page.
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UNIQUE
DESIRABLE
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SPECIFIC SUCCINCT
STICKY
BONUS:
HEADLINE HALL OF SHAME
Sometimes the best way to learn what to do is to see what not to do. Thats what this
bonus power-chapter is for. The identities of the shame-worthy sites have been eliminated
cos Im sure theyre perfectly nice people who meant to write well
What?? Please, I dont care how savvy you think your audience is, its almost never okay to
use words like monetize. Especially not if you follow those with cross promotion and
direct deals. Im in the biz, and I dont even know what direct deals means.
~
Im sorry, but this is a headline? Its a sentence. A sentence filled with lots of boring words,
which totally negates the coolness of the solution theyre offering.
~
High-definition what meets high-speed what? Come on. Tell me. Yes, I can fill in the blanks
myself. But if we went around writing copy that demanded the visitor fill in gaps, wed be
wasting everyones time. Fill in the blanks for potential customers. Its the least you can do.
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Okay, but why? Just because? Using authority like largest professional network and
Facebook should not be the basis of either a solution or a headline on a home page.
~
Really? Thats it? Snoozefest. Surely they have some sort of benefit or differentiator to
communicate in the headline on their home page, no?
~
Its almost hard to believe that someone who offers something so potentially useful that
is, desirable and valuable would fail to note a single benefit in their headline. Even worse?
Theres no supportive subhead! Just a button to sign up now. Oy!
~
I wish I could say the subhead or other supporting points clarify what this headline is trying
to communicate, but nothing on the site in question helps. Unfortunately. Im lost.
~
Too clever. Its using parallelism well, which is probably why the writer and/or approver
thought it was good copy. But it doesnt make immediate sense.
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VISIT COPYHACKERS.COM
to find easy-to-consume copywriting blog posts, ebooks and videos
All brand features referenced within are protected by applicable trademark, copyright and other
intellectual property laws.
2ndSite Inc. http://www.freshbooks.com/
37signals, LLC. http://basecamphq.com/
Crazy Egg, Inc. http://www.crazyegg.com/
iSocket https://www.isocket.com/
KISSinsights and KISSmetrics. http://kissinsights.com/
Magisto, LLC http://www.magisto.com/
mDialog Corp. http://www.mdialog.com/
Tango http://www.tango.me/
The Rocket Science Group. http://mailchimp.com/
Tinypay.me http://tinypay.me/
Twidl Inc. http://piclyf.com/
ViperChill http://www.viperchill.com/
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