Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
AN ORAL HISTORY OF
THE CULVERT PREP MIDDLE SCHOOL
SIXTH GRADE CLASS ELECTION
(Second Semester)
compiled from interviews conducted by
CLAUDIA TAPPER
with
a whole bunch of people, including:
CANDIDATES FOR PRESIDENT
Claudia Tapper
Reese Tapper
James Mantolini
CANDIDATES FOR TREASURER
Carmen Gutierrez
Xander Billington
Max Esper
SENIOR CAMPAIGN STAFF
Akash Gupta
Kalisha Hendricks
MEDIA
Sophie Koh,
The Culvert Chronicle
SQUIRREL
Nutty the Squirrel*
PROLOGUE
CLAUDIA
My name is Claudia Tapper. Im twelve
years old. And Im just going to be completely
honest about this: I want to be president.
And not just president of the sixth grade,
but the whole United States.
States
whole United
P rep
t
r
e
v
l
Cu grade
6th
or maybe governor
of something
<< 1 >>
us
singer-so
ngwriter
but th
whole othat is a
er story)
<< 2 >>
is a lawyer
it is MUCH
you have to stand up for your beliefs. worse than
being president
But the thing is, sometimes
<< 3 >>
E
Reese HAS NO CLUns
what that even mea er
(his campaign managit)
taught him to say
DAD
MOM
terviews
oral history = my inlved
w/everybody invo
<< 4 >>
CHAPTER 1
DOGGIE TERROR
FROM THE SKIES
CLAUDIA
None of this ever would have
happened if Reese hadnt almost
murdered a very small dog with a
soccer ball.
REESE
I did NOT almost murder it! The dog
didnt even get hurt!
And it was a total accident! So even
if Id skronked the dog, it wouldnt have
t a real word
no
been murder. It wouldve been, like...
dogslaughter.
CLAUDIA
<< 5 >>
REESE
Okay, THAT is not fair. I only smell
bad after soccer.
CLAUDIA
Reese, you play soccer EVERY SINGLE DAY.
REESE
No way! I play, like, five days a week.
Tops.
CLAUDIA
Okay, soFIVE out of seven days, you
smell like a butt...thats been stuffed inside
a moldy shoe...with some rotten vegetables.
REESE
Yeah. But only five.
CLAUDIA
I am getting seriously off track here.
My point is, New York City is SO overcrowded
that sometimes normal things end up in notnormal places. Like our schools playground.
Which, instead of being in a normal place
like next to the parking lotis on the roof.
Five stories up.
parking lot)
(also, theres no
<< 7 >>
rooftop fence
(actually more of a wall)
(looks kind of like a prison)
(probably on purpose)
REESE
It wasnt a contest! It was a bet. And
the bet was I couldnt do a bicycle kick
from in front of the SOUTH fence that was
high enough to clear the whole NORTH fence
which was ridic hard, cause it was January
and I was wearing snow boots. So its
totally beast that I nailed it.
Now that I think of it, Xander still
owes me five bucks for that.
<< 8 >>
CLAUDIA
Like I was saying: if youre insane
enough to kick your soccer ball over the
rooftop fence, New York Citys SO overcrowded
that even if you DONT actually take out some
mean rich ladys equally mean little dog
while shes walking it down 77th Street...
MEAN RICH
L
MEAN LITTL ADY/
E DOG
d og w as
very mean
shell march into Culvert Prep and
EVEN BEF
O RE
demand to talk to whoevers in charge of this h
appened
not letting soccer balls fly off the roof. (so was
owner)
AND the mean rich lady SO MUCH that
<< 9 >>
CLUE what
srsly, Reese has NO even mean
all these words
<< 10 >>
CHAPTER 2
OUR APARTMENT HAS A
SUPREME LEADER
You Should
(And Other Stuf f Politics)
Know About
CLAUDIA
In case youre like my brother
and have no idea what politics even is,
its all about who gets to decide the
really important questions in a country
and/or middle school. Like Should soccer
balls be banned from the roof? Or What
if we invade Canada?
There are a bunch of ways politics
can work. But the two most common ones are
dictatorship and democracy.
<< 11 >>
CLAUDIA
It is definitely much better to live
in our apartment than North Korea. For one
thing, we have totally uncensored Internet
access. Mostly because Mom couldnt figure
(Dads hours
a
Plus, she works crazy-long hours. re even
crazier/ long
er)
Cheezy Puffs
(will srsly kill you
if you eat enough)
<< 12 >>
REESE
It ALMOST did. By the end, I think my
skin was turning orange.
CLAUDIA
The second kind of politics is a
democracy, where everybody gets to vote on
all the important questions.
(U.S.A. population)
So is school a dictatorship? Or a
democracy? Cause we defs dont have
uncensored Internet access. You cant
get on ANY good sites from the cafeteria
Wi-Fi.
CLAUDIA
Culvert Prep is a mix. Its basically
90% dictatorship and 10% democracy.
<< 13 >>
CULVERT PREP
(90% dictatorship)
(rooftop pla
yground/pr
ison
is over her
e)
REESE
Whos the dictator of Culvert Prep?
Vice Principal Bevan?
CLAUDIA
No, its the Head of School, Ms.
Tingley. Plus Principal Spooner. Vice
Principal Bevans more like their army.
Like, whenever theres rioting in the
streets, they send her in to restore order.
REESE
I have no clue what youre talking
about. All I know is, Mrs. Bevans the one
who banned soccer balls from the roof.
<< 14 >>
SG = Student Government
CLAUDIA
CLAUDIA
Carmen is VERY concerned about global
warming. Its basically the whole reason she
ran for class rep.
CARMEN
Its been ridic hard to get solar
panels approved. Whenever Id bring it up
. McDonald =
SGs faculty
Theres just so much sports playing advisor
in SG, Mr. McDonald would be like, Mr
CHAPTER 3
MY POLITICAL CAREER
(ALL SEVEN YEARS OF IT)
CLAUDIA
Just so everybody understands how hard I
worked to become sixth grade class president,
Middle School
Junior School
GRADE
OFFICE
MAJOR
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Kindergarten
Line leader
1st
Tech cart
monitor
2nd
Green team
3rd
Book fair
volunteer
4th
Green team
(again)
5th
President
(2 terms)
6th
President
(1 term SO FAR)
<< 17 >>
a
.)
secession
<< 19 >>
REESE
That whole se-so-se-whatchamacallit
thing was just crazypants. When James
finally explained what it was, we were like,
Wait...if the whole fifth grade quit the
school, where would we go all day?
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