Erica Marin

Ms. Kitt
English 1H
3 May 2016

Technology and Parents: A New Method of Raising Teens

On PewInternet.org, researcher Amanda Lenhart states: 92% of American teens go online
daily, including 24% who go online 'almost constantly (Lenhart). With this in mind, parents
must decide how to watch over and protect their children, but how? Parents have generally split
into two categories with this topic: constantly hover over the childs shoulder or unknowingly
watch from afar. Articles dedicated to this topic seem to feature only two different viewpoints on
how parents should raise their kids, leaving parents to be forced to choose a position based on the
pros and cons of the controversial topic. To balance the two extremes that make up the ways to
handle technology and teens, parents should monitor their teens both online and offline, slowly
showing leniency as they show their responsibility.
Teenagers are generally stereotyped to undergo a rebellious phase, the hormonal period of
disrespect and disregard that parents fear will be a part of their childs newfound development.
With this in mind, parents start to take precautions when it comes to how their teens use their
time, especially through the Internet. With the ongoing variety of apps and phone services,
parents are able to know where their child is going, typing, and posting at the touch of a button.
With power comes responsibility, but what is the result of parents becoming too overbearing with
todays savvy advances in technology? Ellen Goodman, author of the article, Big Brother
Meets Big Mother, agrees that parents easily become overbearing with the new tech. Goodman
states, The image of parents hovering over their kids is morphing into the darker image of

parents spying on their kids. (Goodman 1). In this quote, Goodman illustrates through her
words how the monitoring of kids is transitioning into a way for parents to stalk their children.
By doing this, parents are becoming too domineering over their kids and losing sight of the
reasoning behind checking up on their teens: to ensure their safety. Goodman goes on to say,
We may be protecting them right out of the ability to make their own decisions. Including their
own mistakes. (Goodman 2). The author is describing how parents are controlling their
children, steering them away from any inconveniences that may happen. Through these taken
actions, parents are keeping teens from having autonomy, which is needed for them to face selfinstigated experiences, which are necessary for their growth for future challenges. Goodman
continues, Meanwhile, we may be raising a generation with low expectations of public privacy,
trained by Big Mother to accept Big Brother. (Goodman 2). She is suggesting that the impact of
having no privacy in their youth will lead to them adjusting to the idea that they are not granted
privacy at all. Instead of being aware of their freedom to privacy, these teens will grow to be
adults unaware of the control they have over their own lives. Due to these reasons, parents
should show leniency on the teens who show the appropriate responsibility to be left
unmonitored.
While there are many cases of overbearing parents becoming the downfall of their kids,
monitoring parents arent entirely in the wrong when it comes to their actions. Parents should be
aware of what their children are gaining access to in the case they may be viewing mature
content or talking to strangers, and for this reason parents should monitor their childrens use of
the Internet until they have shown they are responsible in their online affairs. Harlan Coben,
author of the article, The Undercover Parent, explains the rising efforts parents are taking in
order to watch over their kids. While some of the actions taken are extreme, the reasoning

behind their precautious attitude is undoubtedly in the right. Harlan writes, [W]eve all read
about the young boy unknowingly conversing with a pedophile or the girl who was cyber bullied
to the point where she committed suicide. Would a watchful eye have helped? (Harlan 1).
Listing off some of the few dangers, Harlan describes what could go wrong when parents leave
their children to wander in cyberspace alone and questions what would have happened if the
adolescents had the help of a guiding hand. Many parents are unaware of how the Internet works
in terms of communication, and how the anonymity of the service attracts the company of
dangerous predators, leaving their child cluelessly exposed. Harlon goes one saying, Trust is
one thing, but surrendering parental responsibility to a machine that allows the entire world
access to your home borders on negligence. (Harlan 1). In this statement, he points out how
trust is different in terms of online and offline use, and how by blindly letting kids enter the
unknown plains of the digital world parents are risking the safety of both their child and home.
This piece puts into perspective how vast the Internets plane of range lies, and how it sets up an
easier environment for predators to feast on the innocence of children as parents sit obliviously
in the same room. Harlan continues, There is a fine line between being responsibly protective
and irresponsibly nosy. (Harlan 2). Harlan is distinguishing the border between responsible
precautions and frivolous fretting that parents take when monitoring their children. Through this
comparison, parents should understand that they should be using technology for the sole purpose
of protecting their kids, rather than listening in on their side conversations. For these reasons,
parents should start out by monitoring their kids online use and gradually let them roam further
as they show their responsibility.
While technology runs a risk of connecting with dangerous sources, it also takes away
from the relationship a parent has with a child by communicating a lack of trust. This

relationship is essential for a healthy companionship in order for a child to be able to be open and
feel comfortable with their parents. In Li Young Lees The Gift, the author shows the reader
and example of the impact even the smallest of actions has on a child. The narrator says aloud,
And I recall his hands,/two measures of tenderness/he laid against my face,/the flames of
discipline/he raised above my head. (Lee 9-13). The narrator is describing how he can clearly
remember his fathers hands as he takes out a pesky splinter with delicate precision, and how it
led to other memories associated with his father. The author is trying to subtly show the
audience how the simplest of actions are embedded in the memory of a child and how it can
influence their impression of a parent. Through this hidden meaning, parents must reflect on the
actions they commit toward their child, and take a pause to see what consequences it could lead
to. By being overbearing toward children, it builds a wall of suspicion and lack of trust between
a parent and child, breaking a sacred bond held together by blood and through love. However,
others disagree with this detail whilst believing that protection is all that is needed to help a child
grow. Harlan tries to coax his audience by saying, Todays overprotective parents fight their
kids battles on the playground, berate coaches about playing time and fill out college
applicationsyet when it comes to chatting with pedophiles or watching beheadings or
gambling away their entire life savings, then...then their children deserve independence?
(Harlan 1). The author is giving the audience two choices when it comes to raising a child:
monitoring their every online move, or letting the risk of chatting with pedophiles, watching
beheadings, or gambling their entire life savings be present. They are limiting the pathways a
parent should consider when deciding how to raise their children. By doing this, the author is
influencing the reader to follow their position, by arguing that its either their position or the
supposed dire scenarios that would play out with the countering side. However, there are not

only two ways to raise a child in the age of technology. Parents can maintain both a good
relationship with their child and the ability to protect them simply by letting their child mature
enough to be unmonitored, without the risk of danger or a broken relationship with their teen.
Without a doubt, technology is the face of societys future generations. While it has its
risks, it still strives as a service today, helping humans communicate and spread knowledge and
entertainment around the world. With the importance of secure safety and a healthy parent-child
relationship, adults can balance the two extremities of monitorization by watching over their kids
until they have shown their responsible conduct when it comes to the Internet. By supporting
this position, parents are letting their children prosper and mature into stable adults ready for the
future.