Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
English Department
S3 and S4
Writing
Portfolio
Name:
Class:
Objectives
Your Portfolio
1. A Ring Binder
Your teacher will create a class folder and a folder named Writing
Portfolios
Inside the Writing Portfolio folder create a folder and name it with
your surname and first name (or register name)
On the sharing settings make sure the folder is shared with your
English teacher only.
If you wish you can share individual documents with classmates, but
only trusted ones! This is for feedback only.
3. A notebook
Have a special writing notebook that you can carry around with you so it is
always ready to note down ideas when inspiration hits.
Essential Questions
What does
it mean?
How is
written?
Why was
it written?
Process Writing
Text Types
Advertisement
Memoir
Analysis
Monologue
Appeal
News report
Biography
Novel
Blog
Opinion Column
Brochure/leaflet
Parody
Cartoon
Pastiche
Critical essay
Photographs
Description
Play
Diary
Poem
Editorial
Radio broadcast
Essay
Recipe
Film/Television
Report
Graphic novel
Screenplay
Guide book
Set of instructions
Interview
Short Story
Letter (formal)
Song lyric
Letter (Informal)
Speech
Listicles
Textbook
Magazine article
Travel writing
Manifesto
To
To
To
To
Examples/facts/opinions/= support
Rhetorical questions/alliteration/triples
Humour/counter-argument/repetition
Persuade
Rhetorical questions/alliteration/triples
Instruct
Explain
Describe
Review
Contains analysis/evidence/judgement
You may choose to write in the past tense. Check that this stays consistent
throughout
Evaluation
Your teacher will give you checklists and other resources to help with
evaluation, that are specific to certain text types. However, remember that
you can...
PART ONE
1. Answer this question: Where are you with this draft?
Is this a first draft? Have you been working on it for a week or a month?
Are you happy with what youve written? Are you frustrated? What do you
want to accomplish with this piece of writing? Let your reader know
exactly where you are with the draft.
Eg: This is my second draft of The Waiting Room. Ive been working on it
for three weeks. I really love my beginning but struggle a lot with the end.
I want this story to really hit the readers. I want them to be dazed when
they finish it.
2. Give the reader a job.
Instead of asking What do you think? give a specific job to your
respondent. Give them ONE thing to accomplish as they read your writing.
Ask them Do you think the ending is satisfying, why or why not? Ask
them Is the main character is loveable or hard to connect to? Ask
them Did you get the plot twist? Come up with ONE thing you want
your respondent to answer.
PART TWO
In Part two youre going to avoid asking for likes and dislikes. These are
opinions and theyre subjective. Just become someone likes your work
doesnt mean it cant be improved and just becomes someone dislikes
your work doesnt mean it has value. Instead ask your respondent for
Impressions and Questions.
1. Impressions are important because they tell you what stays with the
reader. It could be a moment, an image, a character, a tone, a line of
dialogue. What resonates? Ask your respondent for 2 to 3 Impressions.
2. Questions are important because they give you something to answer.
They give you a task to accomplish right away. That means youre not
sitting staring at your feedback wondering where to start. You have
forward motion. Ask your respondent for 3 questions.
When you give a draft to someone for feedback include your version of
this Feedback sheet. By doing so youll up your chances of getting that
useful, helpful and practical feedback that will move your work forward.
Adapted from: "Write Now - Create Your Own Feedback Sheet." Write Now.
N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Aug. 2015. <http://www.lindsayprice.com/playwriting/create-your-own-feedback-sheet/>.
FAQs
Will my English teacher mark all my writing?
No. We will read your writing, discuss it with you, give you some
advice on improving. Understand that your English teacher is not the only
audience for your writing! Show it to others - parents, friends etc. We are
focusing on the process as much as the end result.
How will I be assessed?
There will be various assessment points throughout the year when you will
be required to submit a piece of writing for formal assessment. This will be
at least once per term.
How much writing should I do?
One ready for publication piece every two weeks. But you can never do
too much writing! You will be given some time in class to do free writing.
Who can give me feedback?
Everyone! Parents, friends, relatives, online friends ....
How will they give me feedback?
They can just talk to you about it, or write a paragraph at the end of your
work. Please dont let them correct mistakes for you. There is a feedback
form available that you can give to your readers to fill in.
How will I know how to improve a draft?
The teacher will give you the tools you need.
How often will the teacher check my portfolio?
At least once every two weeks.
How long should my writing be?
Any length - it depends on the text type. Your teacher will give you
guidance.
How many drafts should I write?
You can plan, review, evaluate, redraft as many times as you wish. No
writing is ever finished but at some point you will need to make your
writing ready for publication
How many text types should I try?
As many as possible. See the list in this booklet.
Will I get extra credit for my writing portfolio?
You should be writing purely for your own satisfaction and the joy of
getting feedback from others. However we will also award house points.
IGCSE English
In the rest of this booklet you will find information specific to
requirements for the IGCSE courses - First Language English and
World Literature. But remember that your writing portfolio can
contain all kinds of writing, not limited to this list.
Narrative
Descriptive
Formal Letter
Informal Letter
Magazine article
News report
Speech
Report
Diary
Interview/Dialogue
World Literature
The Critical Essay
The final essay for the coursework portfolio needs to be for S3 on 'Master
Harold and the Boys' or two short stories from 'Stories of Ourselves', and
for S4 on 'Master Harold and the Boys' and two poems from our poetry
anthology, but feel free to practice on other texts! Your teacher will help
you devise an appropriate question on character, theme, style or another
aspect of the text.
You will be expected to:
use quotations to back up your arguments
comment in detail on the authors use of language.
There is no requirement to compare two texts.
Lengthy introductions
Unnecessary conclusions
Question ignored
Semi-prepared/regurgitated essays
General and/or repeated points
Paraphrase and narrative rather than analysis
Lack of substantiation (evidence from the text)
Lists of devices without exploration and analysis
Planning
It is easiest and most effective to write about one story and then the
other as there is no requirement to compare the two.
Drafting
Focus on the effects of language used. Comment on structure and form.
Do not merely list technical terms.
Dont forget:
Introduction
Name the stories you will be exploring and the names of the writers
(full name or surname).
Give a very brief overview of the stories that is relevant to the
question.
Write a thesis statement that briefly answers your question.
Keep it short!
Body Paragraphs
Do not use too many short paragraphs - organise your essay with
aprox. 5-6 body paragraphs.
Start each paragraph with a topic sentence (that clearly indicates
what the paragraph will be about, and refers to your question)
NEVER start a paragraph with a quote or a PEE.
Use PEE several times in each paragraph. You should quote as much
as possible and explore the language of the story. Try to quote one
or two words. NEVER quote more than one sentence. The
EXPLANATION part is important.
Make sure you are explaining HOW the writer shows something, not
what he shows
Use some literary terms but dont overdo it! Always explain the
effect of literary devices.
Write in the present tense.
Vary your vocabulary. Think of synonyms for the word shows for
example (see below).
Use discourse markers (see below)
Write an equal amount on each story.
Conclusion
Think about the SO WHAT? rule.
Why did the writers write these stories?
What meaning did you get from the stories?
What do these stories tell you about human beings and the world?
What have the stories taught you about another culture or part of
the world?
Think about what made you choose these two stories and what
makes them special.
Contents
Introduction
(one paragraph)
Requirements
A typical introduction should do the following:
Example:
Discuss the role and significance of Yasuo in the
Sound Of Waves
Example:
Exemplar 1
How do Seamus Heaney and Moniza Alvi explore the impact of life
changing events through language in Mid-term Break and
Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan respectively?
In Mid-term Break and in Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan,
Seamus Heaney and Moniza Alvi both endure impactful events. Heaney
loses his brother in a car accident while Alvi struggles to reconcile two
clashing cultures. Feeling detached, both poets change their perspectives
on events and people and undergo an identity crisis, although in different
ways.
In Mid-term Break, the poet emphasizes that his brother's death has
altered his perspective on life. His father is said to '[have] always taken
funerals in his stride': when someone passed away his father did not shed
tears. Heaney would have looked up to him as a strong person who could
protect the family. The use of past tense suggests that his father now
behaves differently and the persona has lost a constant 'truth' relating to
his identity. Not only is Heaney 's father's 'crying', unsettling him as his
parent now appears weak, but this reaction also introduces the idea that
everyone is vulnerable when they lose their dearest person. Additionally,
Heaney 's perspective on his home changes. It is no longer a place of
comfort
and security. When Heaney entered the house, 'the baby cooed and
laughed and rocked the pram'. The repetition of 'and' creates a flowing
rhythm which contrasts with the sorrowful atmosphere. The baby 's
reaction emphasizes his obliviousness to the seriousness i n the house,
which is an emotionally confusing juxtaposition. Heaney later goes 'up into
the room ' where his brother 's corpse is placed. The ambiguity of 'the
room ' gives the place a sense of detachment from the soothing
environment of a home: it has taken on a threatening overtone. The
impact of the child's death on his brother 's view of himself and the world
is thus underlined .
In Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan, Alvi changes her perspective
on the Pakistani culture as she realizes that it leads to discordance in her
new society. In spite of the captivation Pakistani culture brings, she
believes that this cultural root makes her less compatible with English
society. She receives a 'salwar karneez' that is 'peacock-blue '. The word
'peacock ' suggests the traditional dress has striking colours and is
engrossing, which Alvi appreciates. However, it is an ambiguous image, as
a peacock would strut in full display, and Alvi thinks that this makes her
stand out from English society, which is counter-productive. Thus, thehre is
conflict between retaining her Pakistani culture and becoming part of
English society. Phoenixes are often associated with rebi1th upon coming
out of a fire but when Alvi tries on the costume, she 'couldn't rise up out of
its fire.' She believes she cannot forgo her Pakistani l inks and rise up as
an entirely new person as she remains 'half English ' and half-Pakistani.
Hence, she is caught between these two countries and unable to secure a
sense of place.
Both personas feel detached in different ways as they are
overwhelmed by events. In Mid-term Break, Heaney refrains from openly
exploring his emotions in response to his brother's death and uses a
disengaged tone, as if he wished to disconnect himself from the d ifficult
reality. This is expressive of the shock he feels. He mentions the
ambulance arriving 'with the corpse, stanched an bandaged by the
nurses'. It is as though Heaney were describing a package newly
delivered that he has had no relation with previously, as he only talks
into her surroundings. Nevertheless, being unable to bring out the best of
her original culture makes her feel insecure. Now, she can only connect to
her heritage via her memory and imagination, as shown in the final
stanza.
Both poets struggle to find their rightful place in their surroundings.
In 'Mid-term Break', Heaney mentions he hears 'whispers informing
strangers [he] was the eldest'. He cannot identify whom they are coming
from, which is unnerving. The personification creates a threatening
impression where he is the focus of the visitors and feels overwhelmed. A
lso, when the old men stand up to shake Heaney's hand, '[he is]
embarrassed'. He is surprised when he, being a schoolboy, is treated like
an adult because he does not know how to react. lt conveys his
apprehensiveness of the new sense of responsibility the death of his
brother has given him. He must now show greater strength than that of a
child within the family, and perhaps take care of the family.
In Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan, Alvi is also confused. '[She]
tried to glimpse [herself] in the miniature glass circles': the ambigu ity of
her reflecti on in the mirror shows she is tryi ng to figure out her true
identity. She believes '[she] is there- of no fixed nationality.' She feels
isolated and unaccepted by either nationality as 'there' is an indefinite
description, hi nting that she feels lost. She does not see herself as a
whole, but rather her d ifferent cultural backgrounds make her incomplete.
Her salwar kameez '[glisten s] like an orange split open '. This is a vibrant
and positive image of the clothing, suggesting that Pakistani culture is ripe
and mature. However, her Pakistani clothes do not gain her recognition
from her British friends: 'the salwar kameez didn't impress [her]
schoolfriend '. Pakistani culture is not appreciated and this puts Alvi in a
dilemma of giving up her identity to adapt to a new culture. Therefore, the
persona struggles to live as both a Pakistani and a British.
Both Mid-term Break and Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan
explore how the personas relate to society in terms of their identities,
which is one of the struggles of the transition between child hood and
adulthood. Alvi elaborates on the cultural aspect whereas Heaney explores
relations within the family. Through Literary devices such as imagery,
ambiguity and metaphor, the poets express their personas' internal
feelings in relation to their external behaviours.
Teacher's Comment
24/25
A perceptive and convincing response showing a clear critical
understanding. Responds with insight, individuality and flair. An excellent
piece.
Exemplar 2
Explore how poets describe a moment in time.
Everyone has a moment in their lives in which they have a fond memory that they
keep and cherish in their hearts forever. In Island Man Grace Nichols puts herself in the
shoes of a Caribbean man to describe her memories of the island which us her beautiful and
unforgettable moment in time. In Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802,
William Wordsworth uses mainly sight imagery to describe his experience of standing on
Westminster Bridge and looking out to London.
Nichols creates an extraordinary and memorable moment of the Caribbean by
describing the memories she had on the island, while London is described as a gloomy and
boring place. Nicholss speaker misses the Caribbean a lot, but has to stay in London to work
in order to make a living. The speaker dreams of how wonderful the Caribbean island is
through the contrast of two places, the Caribbean and London. The sea in the Caribbean
island is described as blue surf, to compare it with the grey London. The words surf and
sound that is found in the first stanza which describes the waves on the island, and actually
echoes the actual noise that waves make as they beat against the shore. She also personifies
the sun by saying it is surfacing defiantly. The word defiantly means resistance, so the poet
is trying to tell her readers that the island man does not want to be woken up from his sweet
dream, but has to, so he unwillingly leaves his dream with hesitation.
Nichols further creates the beautiful moment in time by describing the Caribbean
island as a place of security in the first stanza. The steady breaking and wombing suggests to
the readers that the Caribbean island is a place of comfort, and a security of place of birth.
Nichols uses a word wombing to describe the sound of waves on the island. Womb is home
to everyone, and is also a place of safety. Therefore the word wombing indicates a
comfortable feeling and a sense of security. The word his is used very often throughout the
poem to show emphasis of the sense of security and home. In the second stanza of the poem,
Nichols continues to develop the island mans dream by portraying the island as a paradise,
where everything is relaxing and laid back. She uses wild seabirds to describe the island as a
strong, hard, untamed natural environment. His small emerald island is used to describe the
Caribbean, and from the description of his home makes it sound like a paradise, describing
the lovely moments in the Caribbean. The metaphor is covered with green trees, and it is very
precious to the island man. This emphasises the richness of the vegetation and nature in the
Caribbean island, showing a beautiful and unforgettable moment in time.
Besides Island Man, Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802 also
shows a moment in time. Its poet, Wordsworth, uses sight imagery to describe his lovely
experience of standing on the Westminster Bridge in London and looking out to the city. He
transforms London into a fabulous place by writing a Petrarchan sonnet. In the poem, he
describes how wonderful it is during the Industrial Revolution. He first expresses his feelings
of the city by saying that there is nothing that shows more fair on Earth than the wonderful
sight he is seeing on the bridge. People who are dull are those who just pass by and do not
stop to look at the majestic view. London is also described as a calm and quiet place in the
morning. The beauty of the morning; silent, bare In reality, most cities like London, are
noisy places, but Wordsworth portrayed the city as a silent place, displaying a peaceful
moment in time.
Wordsworth adds on to his experience by describing the surrounding that is around
him. The majority of the cities in the world are polluted, particularly during the Industrial
Revolution. All bright and glittering in the smokeless air. London is polluted and foggy,
especially during that time period, but Wordsworth uses sight imagery to portray the city as a
smokeless place, increasing the loveliness of the moment in time. The poet further uses
personification and some irony to describe his experience. Wordsworth writes about the
sunrise as a he, personifying the sun as a male, and that Wordsworth had never seen
something that shone as beautifully before. The sun also gave the impression to the readers
that nothing is as calm as the sunrise in London, which is ironic, because London is generally
a bustling and busy city. He also personifies River Thames, illustrating the way it flowed. The
river glides at his own pace, giving it freedom, telling us readers that London is a free city,
adding beauty to the poets experience. Early in the morning, people are still usually asleep,
so the city also seems to be asleep. Houses are also personified as people who are sleeping,
because houses do not sleep, it is the people who are the ones that should be asleep. The poet
ends Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802 by saying the heart of the city
is still lying still. This hints that the morning in London is the beauty of the city. It shows the
quietness of the city, and it also develops the lovely moment in time Wordsworth had on the
bridge.
Grace Nichols and William Wordsworth of Island Man and Composed upon
Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802 had certainly described a moment in time within
their poems. Both the poets include London in their poems, but have different views of the
city that was expressed in their poems. Nichols describes London as dull and unwelcoming in
Island Man, while in Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802,
Wordsworth describes how marvellous the city is.
Band
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Band
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Band
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Critical Vocabulary
show
imply
suggest
infer
illustrate
demonstrate
portray
convey
reflect
develop
emphasise
depict
reinforce
present
represent
examine
explore
describe
express
use
compare
contrast
refer
reveal
create
Discourse Markers
To indicate sequence
First, in the first place, at first, to begin with, at the beginning, starting
with, initially, from this point, earlier, second, secondly, in the second
place, next, , then, after that, following that, subsequently, so far, later on,
third, in the third place, last, last of all, at last, at the end, in the end,
finally, to finish, to conclude, in conclusion, consequently
To provide an example
For example, as an example, for instance, in this case, to illustrate, to
show, to demonstrate, to explain, suppose that, specifically, to be exact, in
particular, such as, namely, for one thing, indeed, in other words, to put it
in another way, thus
To concede
Of course, after all, no doubt, naturally, unfortunately, while it is true,
although this may be true, although, to admit, to confess, to agree
To conclude or to summarize
To conclude, in conclusion, to close, last of all, finally, to end, to complete,
to bring to an end, thus, hence, therefore, as a consequence of, as a
result, in short, to sum up, to summarize, to recapitulate
To add a point
Also, too, as well as, besides, equally important, first of all, furthermore, in
addition (to), moreover, likewise, above all, most of all, least of all, and,
eitheror, neithernor, however, yet, but, nevertheless, still, to continue
To compare
As, as well as, like, in much the same way, resembling, parallel to, same
as, identically, of little difference, equally, matching, also, exactly,
similarly, similar to, in comparison, in relation to
To contrast
Though, although, and yet, but, despite, despite this fact, in spite of, even
so, for all that, however, in contrast, by contrast, on one hand, on the
other hand, on the contrary, in one way, in another way, although this may
be true, nevertheless, nonetheless, still, yet, to differ from, a striking
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giddy
sentimental
fanciful
complimentar
y
condescendin
g
sympathetic
contemptuou
s
apologetic
humourous
horrific
sarcastic
nostalgic
zealous
irreverent
benevolent
seductive
candid
pitiful
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contentious
insolent
concerned
27
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jargon
vulgar
schola
rly
insipid
precis
e
esoteri
c
plain
literal
colloquial exact
artificial
symbolic
detached simple
poetic
moralistic
slang
emotiona figurative
l
pedantic bombastic
idiomatic
euphemi
stic
pretentio
us
sensuous
abstruse
homespun
grotesque
obscure
concrete
exact
picturesque
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Literary Terminology
Allegory
A symbolic narrative in which the surface details imply a secondary
meaning. Allegory often takes the form of a story in which the characters
represent moral qualities. The most famous example in English is John
Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, in which the name of the central character,
Pilgrim, epitomizes the book's allegorical nature. Kay Boyle's story
"Astronomer's Wife" and Christina Rossetti's poem "Up-Hill" both contain
allegorical elements.
Alliteration
The repetition of consonant sounds, especially at the beginning of words.
Example: "Fetched fresh, as I suppose, off some sweet wood." Hopkins, "In
the Valley of the Elwy."
Antagonist
A character or force against which another character struggles. Creon is
Antigone's antagonist in Sophocles' play Antigone; Teiresias is the
antagonist of Oedipus in Sophocles' Oedipus the King.
Aside
Words spoken by an actor directly to the audience, which are not "heard"
by the other characters on stage during a play. In Shakespeare's Othello,
Iago voices his inner thoughts a number of times as "asides" for the play's
audience.
Assonance
The repetition of similar vowel sounds in a sentence or a line of poetry or
prose, as in "I rose and told him of my woe." Whitman's "When I Heard the
Learn'd Astronomer" contains assonantal "I's" in the following lines: "How
soon unaccountable I became tired and sick, / Till rising and gliding out I
wander'd off by myself."
Character
An imaginary person that inhabits a literary work. Literary characters may
be major or minor, static (unchanging) or dynamic (capable of change). In
Shakespeare'sOthello, Desdemona is a major character, but one who is
static, like the minor character Bianca. Othello is a major character who is
dynamic, exhibiting an ability to change.
Characterization
The means by which writers present and reveal character. Although
techniques of characterization are complex, writers typically reveal
characters through their speech, dress, manner, and actions. Readers
come to understand the character Miss Emily in Faulkner's story "A Rose
for Emily" through what she says, how she lives, and what she does.
Chorus
A group of characters in Greek tragedy (and in later forms of drama), who
comment on the action of a play without participation in it. Their leader is
the choragos. Sophocles' Antigone and Oedipus the King both contain an
explicit chorus with a choragos. Tennessee Williams's Glass
Menagerie contains a character who functions like a chorus.
Climax
The turning point of the action in the plot of a play or story. The climax
represents the point of greatest tension in the work. The climax of John
Updike's "A & P," for example, occurs when Sammy quits his job as a
cashier.
Comedy
A type of drama in which the characters experience reversals of fortune,
usually for the better. In comedy, things work out happily in the end.
Comic drama may be either romantic--characterized by a tone of tolerance
and geniality--or satiric. Satiric works offer a darker vision of human
nature, one that ridicules human folly. Shaw's Arms and the Man is a
romantic comedy; Chekhov's Marriage Proposal is a satiric comedy.
Comic relief
The use of a comic scene to interrupt a succession of intensely tragic
dramatic moments. The comedy of scenes offering comic relief typically
parallels the tragic action that the scenes interrupt. Comic relief is lacking
in Greek tragedy, but occurs regularly in Shakespeare's tragedies. One
example is the opening scene of Act V of Hamlet, in which a gravedigger
banters with Hamlet.
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The Empathic
In the empathic task you are required to explore a specific moment
through the eyes of one particular character in a play or short story. As
well as showing knowledge of the incident concerned, depending on the
particular task it may be helpful if you demonstrate some awareness of
what has led up to it. Your identification with the character might also be
conditioned by your awareness of what happens to the character later in
the play or short story (if that is appropriate to the task), though this will
probably not be referred to specifically. Through your response, you are
expected to demonstrate detailed knowledge of the text and the
character; but this task is not an invitation merely to re-tell a story.
An empathic task is designed also to test your understanding and
interpretation of a character and that characters usual responses, and will
make inferences about what s/he might be thinking or feeling about a
particular situation.
Good answers will be conditioned by an overall understanding of the way
the character behaves in the text as a whole.
Characteristics of successful empathic tasks
Voice
31
Probably the most difficult aspect of the task to tackle, the degree of
success in creation of a voice will demonstrate the degree to which you
have engaged with the character and responded to the literary qualities of
the work. The style adopted must be suitable to the character. In a
Shakespeare text, for example, it would be inappropriate for an
aristocratic character to speak in over-colloquial language, or for one of
the lower characters to speak in a particularly refined way. (But
candidates are never expected to try to reproduce Shakespearian
English, for example.) Though it is not generally appropriate to quote
directly from the text in inverted commas in answering a task of this sort,
answers are likely to be enhanced by the use of particular turns of phrase
normally used by the character.
An empathic task will usually be written to a formula as follows:
32
Just one sound of his voice and I knew he was a Montague. Yes, that villain,
slave, wretched boy: Romeo. I cannot believe my uncle called him a
gentleman.
And that people here, in Verona think of him as a well behaved and goodmannered boy. He does not deserve that respect.
How dare he come to our party uninvited? With that mask on, he actually
thought I would not recognise him. I can smell a Montague from a mile
away. And if it was not for my uncle, I would have killed him then and
there! I do not think killing him is a sin. Instead it is my duty. He came to
mock our celebrations. Therefore it is dishonourable for me to just let him
go.
I do not understand why my Uncle does not agree with me. Am I the only
one who sees through all this? It does not matter whether he makes
trouble or not during the feast. His mere prescence already showed his
contempt. He was laughing at us. He was ruining our great name
Capulet.
I dont know how my Uncle found this tolerable, while I was just about to
explode with anger. All I wanted to do was to fight off the shame Romeo
was putting upon or household but instead my uncle called me insolent.
My Uncle, so blinded by the celebrations was unable to see what was right
and wrong.
And even now, I am shaking to hold all the fury and rage within me. I will
let this anger accumulate within my body. I will carve it into my heart. I
might have let him go this time but next time, I promise, he will not be
allowed to walk away with such ease. He will regret. I will make him pay
for the shame he has brought to our household.
Commentary
The candidate assumes an appropriate voice and weaves echoes of the
text into the answer: for example, that villain, slave, wretched boy and I
do not think killing him is a sin. She shows good knowledge and
understanding of the character: for example, his sense of isolation in being
the only one to object to Romeo, his obsession with family honour, and his
rage both at Romeo and at the injustice of Capulets rebuke. It is a very
competent and conscientious answer, though lacks the extra degree of
subtlety and insight, and sophistication of style that a top answer would
show.
Mark: Band 2
Exemplar 2
You are Tybalt just after your uncle Lord Capulet has ordered you
to behave yourself at the ball and leave the disguised Romeo
alone. Write your thoughts.
He shall be endured? I shall not endure a villain such as he, Romeo, a
Montague! He has made a mockery of the house of Capulet, attending our
feast as though he was invited, as though he belonged. I shall turn on
33
Romeo as he made my uncle turn on me. How blind my uncle is, to not see
this foe purposely comes here to scorn at our solemnity.
How sick it makes me, to hear that Verona brags of him. He is a Montague,
of no more worth than a dog, in the street. My skin crawls just looking at
him. My hand yearns for my rapier. If I had it here it would be but a
moment before I drove it deep into his heart and struck him dead.
Romeo is followed with the name of Montague and never before have we
not drawn our longswords and rapiers to fight someone of that house. My
uncle does not realize that in fact, he only makes a fool of himself and of
us, the more worthy Capulets. I cannot tolerate this insult to my name.
Romeo has soiled our name; and only under the protection of my uncle
does he live right at this moment.
Romeo is a villain! A shameful villain!, If I cannot make a mutiny among
these guests, then I will make one on the street a challenge! The
coward should hide with shame if he does not accept. To the house of dogs
I will send a letter. For life or death he must fight and I will make sure it is
death he chooses.
I feel myself shaking with anger. Romeo is to blame. By my life he will
accept my challenge. I am no princox, no goodman boy. I am Tybalt, Prince
of Cats and I shall never stop living up to this name. With what little
patience I have, I will wait for this revenge. Romeo will pay for his insult
with his life, its a certainty that I swear on the name and house of
Capulet.
Commentary
The answer begins very strongly, with a direct echo of the text: He shall
be endured, and later this foe purposely comes here to scorn at our
solemnity. The candidate is integrating the actual language of the play
seamlessly into the monologue. The strength of feeling attributed to Tybalt
is convincing and the language suitably violent.
The ideas are well developed and there is a sense of Tybalt working
through his intention to exact revenge. There are also allusions to earlier
events such as the confrontation with Mercutio: I am no princox, no
goodman boy, which are made to contribute to the strength of his feelings
towards Romeo. The answer was judged to exhibit all the characteristics of
a top band answer.
Mark: Band 1
Band
1
Band
2
Band
3
22
21
20
19
18
34
Band
4
Band
5
Band
6
Band
7
Band
8
0
17
16
15
14
13
12
11
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
0
35
Text
Prose extract or poem
Time
1 hour 15 minutes
45 minutes
Unseen
Timing
3 minutes reading the question and deconstructing it
17 mins reading and annotating the passage
55 minutes writing essay
It is extremely useful to address the bullet points because these are the
key areas for explanation.
Ask your teacher for some past papers and exemplars.
Tips on tackling the passaged based questions in Paper 3
Before you start, check the focus of the question(s), then highlight or
underline relevant details (words/phrases, rather than big chunks)
covering key relevant parts of the extract.
Its useful to ask yourself why this particular extract has been chosen: it
may be a turning point in the story, or it may reveal something new or
significant about a character, for example. This could be a starting point
for your answer.
Then, establish an overview, summing up what you will say in the rest of
your answer, clearly addressing the question. Focus is really important
here. You need to position yourself and make clear what your point of view
is: as long as you back up what you say with evidence from the text, your
interpretation is likely to be valid.
36
Be specific for example, if the question is about how the writer creates
mood and atmosphere, say straight away what the mood and atmosphere
is, or if it is about a character, make a clear point about the character in
question.
Tackle the key areas of the extract, selecting and highlighting detail.
DONT FORGET THE QUESTION! Make sure you go right to the end of the
extract there will be a good reason why it starts and ends where it does.
If its relevant, you may make brief reference to other parts of the text - to
put the extract in context but your main concern is the extract. Dont,
whatever you do, treat the extract as an unseen (it makes the reader
wonder why they are there).
Dont get so caught up by analysing the detail that you neglect the
content what is actually going on in the extract.
REMEMBER THAT EACH PASSAGE BASED QUESTION SHOULD TAKE YOU
ABOUT 45 MINUTES TO COMPLETE!
Exemplar 1 (Animal Farm)
How does Orwells writing here vividly convey the relationship
between the pigs and the other animals? Remember to support
your ideas with details from the story.
Orwell demonstrates in this passage that the pigs have now assumed
complete control over the other animals. This is done mainly through their
superior intellect but also in other ways.
Firstly, he shows this by always including an element of doubt in the other
animals minds. For example, it states that Clover thought she could
remember as opposed to: she could remember. This demonstrates that
she questions her own mind and is therefore easy to manipulate. It is this
uncertainty that the pigs use to bend them to their will. As Clover is unable
to conclusively demonstrate that she is correct, the pigs have the
advantage. Therefore this is Orwells way of showing that the pigs can rewrite events to suit themselves, as they have done here with the Fourth
Commandment.
Perhaps a more revealing insight into their relationship is given by the
clear differences in intelligence. For example, Orwell juxtaposes the pigs
brains against the fact that the animals are unable to read. This
illustrates the fact that they are intellectual opposites and that this causes
the pigs to assume the position of the ruling class. Orwell also shows that
the pigs superior intelligence means that they can manipulate the animals
without them being aware of it. For example, Squealer still referring to
them as comrades, the illusion is given that they are still equal.
However, this is clearly far from being true. Therefore Orwell is showing
the ease with which intellectuals can manipulate those less intelligent
than themselves.
37
Orwell adds to this by pointing out that even Muriel, who we know is able
to read to an extent, can only read with some difficulty. This shows that
even the more intelligent animals are far less so than the pigs. This
cements the authority of the pigs and helps Orwell convey their tyrannical
rule.
Orwell also points out how Napoleons authority means the pigs rule
cannot be challenged. The fact that he has a title makes him appear
more prestigious and therefore harder to oppose. The use of the name
Leader to describe him also helps brainwash the other animals into
believing they must support him. Therefore it makes them more
submissive.
Napoleons authority is further emphasised by his support from Boxer.
Boxers slogans are incredibly dangerous and by saying this is the usual
way in which he reacts, Orwell shows the reader that Boxer will never
question Napoleon. This is supported by the use of the word always in
Napoleon is always right, as this shows a constant refusal to challenge
him. Therefore Orwell shows Boxers blind acceptance of the pigs
authority. Whilst Boxer is only one animal, his lack of action is highly
relevant. Orwell has taken care to introduce him early as the admiration
of everyone and enormous. Hence, he could easily incite a rebellion
should he choose to. However, as he dismisses all of Napoleons faults,
this helps ensure the pigs total domination of the animals.
Another way Orwell shows the relationship is through the language
employed by Squealer. Squealer is clearly the most capable talker and
the reader has been informed previously that he can turn black into
white. Therefore his ability to manipulate the animals is clear. By using
many rhetorical questions, such as And why not?, Squealer challenges
the animals and reminds them of their inferior status. Due to their aforementioned minimal intelligence, the animals cannot argue back. Orwell
here uses Squealer to show how complex language can confuse others
into submission. Squealer uses words such as repose which are almost
certainly unknown to the other animals. This forces them to recognise the
pigs as cleverer than them and therefore prevents them from retaliating.
Therefore Orwell shows how manipulation of language gains the pigs
authority.
Squealer also stops any dissent completely by reminding them of the
common enemy: Jones. Through doing this he is uniting them all and
threatening them with the one thing they dread most. As this argument is
used to justify all the pigs actions, the reader is aware of its absurdity.
Therefore, Orwell is showing how threats can be used over and over to
subdue arguments.
Orwell also shows very subtly that the pigs are still using force to control
the farm. Squealer is attended by dogs, which shows that he has
protection. The dogs are clearly an allegory for the army. Therefore Orwell
is showing the reader that the pigs are maintaining power by instilling fear
in the animals. This is an effective method as the dogs are initially used to
drive out Snowball. Therefore, animals will be intimidated by them and be
obedient to the pigs.
38
In conclusion, Orwell has shown that the pigs dominate the farm through
consistent manipulation of the other animals. By eliminating any
possibility of the animals challenging their rule, the pigs have effectively
subdued their opposition. Orwell shows this through comparing their
intelligence; he creates a terrifying relationship
COMMENTARY This response covers all the bases. It focuses closely on
the question and some points show sophisticated critical perception; for
example, the discussion of Boxers faith in Napoleon and consequent
removal as a threat to the pigs dictatorship. Aspects of Orwells language
are sensitively considered. A top Band 1 response.
[The assessment criteria is the same as for the critical essay on page 20]
39
Narrative
For IGCSE purposes, follow these rules (For your own writing there
are no rules!):
Word length: 350-450 words
See 'Stories of Ourselves Study Guide for Students' for more
detailed advice.
This task tests writing assessment objectives W1 to W5
W1 articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and
imagined
W2 sequence facts, ideas and opinions
W3 use a range of appropriate vocabulary
W4 use register appropriate to audience and context
W5 make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar
Band 1
11-13
Band 2
9-10
Band 3
7-8
Band 4
5-6
General Criteria
W1: Content is complex,
sophisticated and realistic.
W2: Overall structure is
secure and the constituent
parts well balanced and
carefully managed.
W1: Content develops
some interesting and
realistic features in parts of
the writing.
W2: Writing is orderly, and
beginnings and endings
are satisfactorily managed.
W1: Content is
straightforward with ideas,
features and images that
satisfactorily address the
task; some opportunities
for development are taken.
W2: Overall structure is
competent and some
sentences are well
sequenced.
W1: Content consists of
relevant ideas that are
briefly developed.
W2: Overall structure is
easily followed, though
some constituent parts are
Band 5
3-4
Band 6
1-2
Band 7
11-12
Band 2
9-10
Band 3
7-8
Band 4
5-6
Band 5
3-4
Band 6
1-2
Band 7
Exemplar 1
Mud. Deep, thick mud. It surrounded me, it stifled me, there was no
way out. The trench was slowly filling up with stagnant water, filling
my already soaking boots, seeping through into my trench-foot
ridden feet mocking me, giving me no chance to run. The crimson
clay floor lay waiting below me, the blood of my comrades flowing
through, begging me to join, to be the next lucky soul to be dead, to
end this hell. I had gotten used to the smell of odour and bad feet
along time ago, but there was a new smell that hung in the air, a
dank, dark smell that only a man devoid of all hope can smell. Fear.
Fear clung to me like a weeping child in those last few hours of my
life, and it overcame me. I broke down in great tears, the salty drops
giving a reassuring tang to my mouth, and as I lay hudled in my
tomb, the dark veil of death covered me like a shroud. My legs
suddenly felt warm, I had urinated myself like a small child. The
smell hit me and instantly I sobered. I looked down at my dark green
uniform, covered in mud and remembered my purpose. With a
sudden surge of confidence I sought to relinquish my deep cave of
dark emotion and peer over the top. Immediately the chatter of
guns sparked to life and I dived back down again. I had been hit in
the shoulder.
A paradox of pain swept through me and I wished for all the world,
to die, I wished to embrace death as an old friend and let him lead
me away from my prison. But I was not be so lucky. I lay, trapped in
my muddy hell, the world swimming before me. I could make out
the sound of heavy machinery, roaring into life and the deep barks
of soldiers everywhere shouting and yelling over the noise. Men
were everywhere, men in grey uniforms. The enemy.
A strong smell of metal hit me, and I knew straight away it was the
smell of old blood. I had fallen into a puddle of it, mixed with water
the liquid ran over me as I started to gasp for air. I felt
claustrophobic and trapped, panic hit me and I lashed out through
the puddle, kicking, punching and cursing. I felt betrayed, betrayed
by my own people. My country didnt care about us, the endless
deaths that occurred meant nothing to the heartless villains. The
walls of mud seemed to close in on me, getting smaller and smaller,
taking away my longed-for air and I swam in and out of
consciousness.
A low whine started, getting louder and louder. It was a cluster
bomb. As I opened my leadlike eyes I saw it, my savour, I was calm.
The whistle became intolerable, then it hit.
Commentary
Descriptive
For IGCSE purposes, follow these rules (For your own writing there
are no rules!):
Focus on a place or a moment in time
Formal Letter
Exemplar (see FLE Paper 2 June 2006)
Dear Mr and Mrs Doyle,
I recently spent a few nights at your hotel, the Shamrock Hotel and
I must confess that I found my time there extremely enjoyable.
I was unexpectedly charmed by the unique and individual
atmosphere in the hotel, right from its eccentric but welcoming
appearance to the livliness created by the numerous animals there.
It was, what I think everyone would consider, a much-needed
deviation from the norm of boring, formal hotels. I was particularly
taken by the great shingle roof, littered with odd trinkets and bits
and pieces.
Opening
(Address your letter to Dear + the name or job title of the person
you have been asked to write to, then start a new line for the
opening paragraph. N.B. Although it is good practice to teach and
expect students to put dates and addresses on formal letters, and to
sign them appropriately, these are not required and not rewarded in
the exam.)
2.
Paragraph 1: Introduction
(Why are you writing? Give the general aim and minimum
information only, e.g. to complain, apply, request, disagree, and an
indication of what you are responding to e.g. a recent holiday or a
letter in last weeks newspaper.)
3.
4.
5.
(Say what you wish to happen next e.g. that you look forward to
being called for interview or expect to receive some compensation
as soon as possible. Suggest, firmly but politely, what may happen if
you do not receive a response to a complaint.)
Yours sincerely,
Aunt Pegg.
The letter develops ideas relating to the first two bullets; the third
section is weaker, however, being brief and vague, and there is little
reference throughout to specific detail. The quality of the writing is
high: it is fluent and well sequenced, and includes a range of mature
and appropriate vocabulary, such as the enormity of the task, all
hands on deck, and accepted this gracefully, which conveys a
strong voice for the character.
Mark: 10 (reading/content) + 5 (quality of writing)
News Report
News Report Structure
Headline
1.
News Event
2.
Background
3.
4.
Quotations
5.
Future
Formal Report
Formal Report Structure
1.
Explanation of situation
(Give some indication of what you are reporting on and what the
circumstances are: it could be presenting findings to a committee
after evaluation options, giving a witness account of an event,
giving evidence after monitoring a process e.g. a student on a
weeks work experience. The person receving the report is someone
in authority in an official position, and the style must reflect this.)
2.
3.
4.
5.
Conclusion
our firm; Although there have been many school trips over the last
few years, it was unanimously agreed that this was the best
because of the attractiveness of the destination and the remarkable
team spirit amongst the group.)
Magazine Article
[Insert pdf]
Dialogue/Interview
Exemplar
Headteacher: Lets consider what these students have said. I must
let the GTC know today which finalist we have chosen. I am sorry to
have left it so late but I have been extremely busy, you must forgive
me: Deputy: Of course Headteacher, and I am also fully aware of
your dilema, there really is some stiff competition this year and of
course only one can be chosen. Head: Yes its such a shame... So
anyway, onto our finalists. I must say Didier has really impressed
me, he looks strong and athletic and is of course very popular with
the other boys, being football captain you know. And look here he
says he has already been part of an activity group for boys, lighting
fires and fishing for food and shelter building, all very important
criterea from the GTC leaflet, he may be the man to fly the flag for
our school, he can even read maps which is fantastic for a young
man of his age. Deputy: Yes this is all true but I get a feeling that the
boy is rather arrogant, it must be the way he boasts of his sporting
success, I dont know but to me Didier is possibly the weakest
candidate. Head: I do see your point to be honest, maybe we
shouldnt be too hasty. On to Marissa then, again very physically
able and athletic, yes she is participating in the 1500 metres, and
she seems to be clever too, convincing and good with words, all
very valid. Deputy: Yes I agree, a splendid candidate If I may say so,
she can already canoe and loves the outdoors and most of all she
has great pride for her school, wonderful. She is even part of the
debating team, I... Head: Actually I must stop you there deputy I
believe this could be a slight weakness you know, I mean if she can