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Nguyen

GabrielNguyen
Ms.Holt
English1P/Per.3
27January2016

TheEvilnessOfPeoples

TheBabyvideosoncestated,Babiesdevelopedbydontknowingwhatisgoodorbad,thats
whysomepeoplesthinkthatpeople
s
areevilbecauseofhowtheydevelopedandalotofpeoplescanbe
evilindifferentways.Somepeoplethinkthatpeoplebecauseofcommittingcrimes,pickingontheweak
etc.Ithasbeensaidthatpeopleareevilbynaturewhichbymeanswheretheyareintheenvironment.
In
thenovelThankYouMaambyLangstonHughestellsastoryofaboynamedRogerwhosneakedor
walkupbehindanoldwomannamedMrs.Jonesandtriestosnatchherpocketbooktogetsomemoney
tobuyhimselfsomebluesuedeshoes
.
PeopleareevilbynaturebecausefromthereadingslikeThank
YouMaam,whichaguycommitscrime,beingselfish,andpickingontheweak.
Onereasonwhypeopleareevilistheycommitscrimes.AsO'Flahertymentionedonpage2,
Thesniperraisedhisrifleandfired.Theheadfellheavilyintheturretwall,thewomandartedtowardthe
street.
Bylookingatthestory,TheSniper,readerscanassumethatisevilbecausehowthesniper
murderedthepooroldwoman.Thisshowsthereadersthatpeoplearebornnaturallyevilandstayevil
dependingontheenvironmentthey'rein.Thistextevidencesuggestpeopletoargueifpeopleareevilor
good.Inaddition,peopleareeviliftheychoosetocommitcrimesordoanythingthatisillegaltothe
world.Readerscancometotheconclusionthatpeopleareevilbynaturebecauseofhowtheybecame
violentandstartstokillpeoplefornoreason.Asaresult,readersknowthatcommittingcrimesare
considerbeingevil.
Anotherreasonwhypeopleareevilishowtheyarebeingselfish.Duetothefactthattheyre
selfish,thatpersonalwayswantthingstothemselves,likestealingmoney.BylookingatthestoryThe
LordOfTheFlies,readerscanassumethatthestoryhavealotofselfishnesshowtheyfightongetting


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themeatandsomeofthemdontshare
like
forexample,Jacksaid,
Youdidnthunt,thereisntmore
thanaha'porthofmeatinacrab.
Bylookingatthequote,readerscanassumeJackdidntsharethemeat
becauseRalphandtherestdidnthunt.Itisimportanttonotethisbecausewearetalkinghowpeopleis
goodorevilinways.Apparently,peopleisstillconsideredevilbynaturebecauseofbeingselfish.In
addition,peoplecaneasilybegoodfromnotbeingselfishandjustbegenerousandshare.Readerscan
cometotheconclusionthatpeopleareselfishlikeinthestoryLordOftheFlieshowJackdidntshare
themeat.Basedontheevidence,readersmaylearnnottobeselfishandjustsharewhattheyhave.
Additionally,peopleareevilbecauseofpickingontheweak.Theliterarytextpiecestates,
The
Sniperraisedtherifleandshottheoldwoman.
BylookingatTheSniper,readerscanassumepicking
onanoldwomanisconsideredbeingevil.Thisshowsthereadersthatifyoudontwanttobecomeevil,
thendontpickontheweak,insteadhelpthem.Apparently,alotofpeopleintheworldactuallymakefun
oftheweaksayingthattheycantfightback.Readerscancometotheconclusionthatinotherstorieslike
ThankyouMaam,aboyranupbehindtheoldwomanandsnatchherpocketbook,andthatconsiders
beingeviltoo.Asaresult,readersmaynotbeevilbynotpickingontheweak.
Althoughsomepeoplethinkthatpeoplesareevil.Otherssuggestpeopletobeborngoodandnot
becomeevil.Despitetheopposition,Ithinkpeoplecanbegoodorevildependingontheenvironmentor
howtheychoosetobe.However,peoplearebornnaturallyevilbecausehowtheystartingtobeselfish.It
isessentialforpeopletorecognizethateveryoneisbornnaturallyevilbywantingeverythingto
themselves.

Rubricratingsubmittedon:2/5/2016,10:29:19AMbybholt@ggusd.net

Statement
of
Purpose/Fo
cus
Your

Superior
abClaim
and
counterclai
msare

Strong
a.Claimis
clear,
focused
and

Proficient
a.Claimis
clear,and
forthe
mostpart

Marginal
a.Claim
maybe
clearly
focused,

Weaka.
Claimis
unfocused
and
insufficient

Inadequate
a.Claim
maybe
confusing
or

Offtopic,
no
repsonse


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score:

superiorto
a5

maintained
andb.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
adequately
addressed

maintained
,though
some
loosely
relevant
material
maybe
presentb.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
introduced

butis
insufficient
ly
sustained
andb.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
areunclear
or
unfocused

ly
sustained.
b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
areunclear
ornot
present

ambiguous.
b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
arenot
present

Organizati
on
Your
score:

Superior
c.
Transitiona
lStategies
andlogical
progresion
ofideasare
superiorto
a5

Strongc.
Consistent
useof
transitional
strategies
d.Logical
progressio
nofideas
from
beginning
toende.
Effective
introductio
nand
conclusion
for
audience
and
purpose

Proficient
c.
Adequate
useof
transitional
strategies
withsome
variety
d.
Adequate
progressio
nofideas
from
beginning
toend
e.
Adequate
introductio
nand
conclusion

Marginal
c.
Inconsisten
tuseof
basic
transitional
strategies
withlittle
variety
d.Uneven
progressio
nofideas
from
beginning
toende.
Introductio
nand
conclusion
arepresent

Weakc.
Limited
useof
basic
transitional
strategies
withlittle
orno
varietyd.
Unclear
progressio
nofideas
from
beginning
toende.
Introductio
nand
conclusion
are
attempted

Inadequate
c.Fewor
no
transitional
strategies
areevident
d.Hasa
majordrift
inthe
progressio
nofideas
e.
Introductio
nor
conclusion
maynotbe
present

elaboration
ofevidence
Your
score:

Superior
Exceptiona
lly
coherent
and
welldevel
oped
argument

Strongf.
Useof
relevant
evidence
from
sourcesis
integrated
with
appropriate
citation.g.
Effective

Proficient
f.Some
evidence
from
sourcesis
integrated,
though
citations
maybe
generalor
imprecise.

Marginal
f.Evidence
from
sourcesis
weakly
integrated
and
citations,if
presentare
uneven.
g.Marginal

Weakf.
Evidence
from
sourcesis
included,
butnot
integrated
or
appropriate
lycited
g.Elaborati

Inadequate Offtopic,
f.Useof no
evidence
repsonse
from
sources
minimal,
absent,in
error,or
irrelevant
g.
Elaborative

Offtopic,
no
repsonse


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useof
elaborative
techniques

g.Adequate
useof
some
elaborative
techniques

oruneven
useof
elaborative
techniques

ve
techniques
areweak

techniques
areabsent

language
and
vocabulary
Your
score:

Superior
Impressive
controlof
language

Strongf.
Effective
useof
elaborative
techniques

Proficient
f.
Adequate
useof
some
elaborative
techniques

Marginal
f.Marginal
oruneven
useof
elaborative
techniques

Weakf.
Elaborative
techniques
areweak

Inadequate Offtopic,
f.
no
Elaborative repsonse
techniques
areabsent

convention
s
Your
score:

Superior
Demonstra
tes
syntactical
variety,
and
superior
grammar,
usage,and
sentence
formation.
Standard
useof
punctuatio
n,
capitalizati
on,and
spelling

Strongi.
Demonstra
tessome
syntactical
variety,but
mayhave
minor
errorsin
grammar,
usage,and
sentence
formation
j.Standard
useof
punctuatio
n,
capitalizati
on,and
spelling

Proficient
i.Some
evidence
from
sourcesis
integrated,
though
citations
maybe
generalor
imprecise.
j.Adequate
useof
some
elaborative
techniques

Marginal
i.Useof
academic
and
domainsp
ecific
vocabulary
mayat
timesbe
inappropria
teforthe
audience
and
purposej.
Frequent
errorsin
grammar
andusage
may
obscure
meaning

Weaki.
Useof
academic
and
domainsp
ecific
vocabulary
islargely
inappropria
teforthe
audience
and
purpose
j.Frequent
errorsin
grammar,
usage,and
sentence
formation
obscure
meaning

Inadequate Offtopic,
i.Uses
no
limited
repsonse
academic
language
or
domainsp
ecific
vocabulary
andhas
littlesense
ofaudience
and
purposej.
Errorsin
grammar,
usage,and
sentence
formation
are
frequent
andsevere,
and
meaningis
often
obscured

Comments:
Youhaveastrongbaseforyouressay.Youchoserelevantreasons,andthequotesyouchoseare
appropriatetohelpproveyourargument.

Makesuretoincludetheproperamountofevidence.Eachparagraphneedstwopiecesofevidence.


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Continuetoworkonyourmatterssentenceandexplainingtothereaderwhyitisimportant:thesowhat
ofyourargument.

Makesuretouseparentheticalcitations.

GrammarFocus:Practicesubjectverbagreement.Icangiveyouresourcesandhelpyouinofficehours.:)

Score:3