com·pro·mise

n (plural com·pro·mis·es)
1. agreement: a settlement of a dispute in which two or more sides agree to
accept less than they originally wanted
2. something accepted rather than wanted: something that somebody accepts
because what was wanted is unattainable
3. potential danger or disgrace: exposure to danger or disgrace
v (past and past participle com·pro·mised, present participle com·pro·mis·ing, 3rd
person present singular com·pro·mis·es)
1. vi agree by conceding: to settle a dispute by agreeing to accept less than what
was originally wanted
2. vt lessen value of somebody or something: to undermine or devalue
somebody or something by making concessions
3. vt expose somebody or something to danger: to expose somebody or
something to danger or disgrace
-com·pro·mis·er, , n

Compromising, “meeting halfway” or “splitting the difference,”

to solve a conflict often leads all parties thinking they have
been “short changed,” and that they have “given in.”

Psychologist Thomas Gordon has developed a six-step process,

based upon the work of philosopher John Dewey, to deal with
conflicts:

1. Define the problem in terms of needs, not solutions.

2. Brainstorm possible solutions.
3. Select possible solution(s) that will best meet both parties’ needs
and check for possible consequences.
4. Make a Plan detailing who does what, where and when.
5. Implement the plan (or “Do it”).
6. Evaluate the problem solving process and, at a latter date, how
well the solution turned out.

Experience shows that redefining the problem in terms of needs often

takes at least half the time — ideally five to twenty minutes — of solving
the conflict. It requires that you assert your needs and listen to the
other person until you understand their needs. When you are done, both
parties should be able to state the conflict in a one-sentence long
summary of the problem.