FAILURE

FAILURE...SOMETHING IN EARLY CONSCIOUSNESS...A MOMENT IN TIME AS SOMETHING 'TRIG

GERS' INTO 'BELIEF-BEHAVIOR'...SOMETHING 'ACTIVATES' IN DEVELOPMENT THAT BECOMES
BARBICAN 'FORTRESSING' AS ONE 'SURRENDERS' VITALITY TO 'IMPOSITION' OR 'EXPECTA
NCY'...SOMETHING 'BEGINS TO ECHO' AND 'ALARM' IN AN 'ADAPTATION' FORM OF 'DISOR
DERING' OR 'REARRANGEMENT' OF SELF AS ONE 'SHIFTS' IN 'SEEKING PROTECTION' IN 'D
ISTANCING-SPLITTING' INTO FORTRESS-DEFENSIVENESS...
IT IS 'MEDIATION IN CONTROL' AS REDIRECTION...'REACTIVITY-FORMATION' IN VULNERAB
ILITY...'ACTING' TO GET, AVOID, ACCESS...'AVERSIONS' OF MOVING OUT OF 'NATURAL'
INTO 'DRIVES' TO COMPENSATE, TO MAKE UP FOR, TO 'ALLEVIATE' OR FACILITATE HUNGER
S AND NEEDS...
PSYCHE' VIOLENCE IN CONSEQUENCES TO 'ORGANIC INTEGRITY' AS 'IMBALANCES' BECOME '
FALSE HOMEOSTASIS' AND 'FAILURE TO THRIVE' BECOMES A QUIET VIOLENCE IN COMPLIANC
E...THE 'MEDIATION-CONTROLS' OF THE SUPPRESSION OF 'NATURAL TENDENCY'[HSING]...
A DEEP ROOTED SENSE OF 'FAILURE' IN SENSES OF FEELING 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' OR BEING
'VULNERABLE' TO THREAT OF 'LOSS OF AFFECTION, LOSS OF LOVE, ABANDONMENT' AS SOM
ETHING 'NEEDED' IS TAKEN AWAY...IT IS 'POWER' GREATER THAN 'LOVE' AS 'COMPLIANCE
' COSTS ARE BEGINNINGS OF 'SOMETHING IS MOVED FROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST'...IT IS
CONTROLLING ISSUES OF SELF BEHIND A 'WALLING' AS DEFENSIVENESS SURFACES THROUGH
BEHAVIORS OF 'REACTIVITY-DEFIANCE-HUMILIATION COMPLIANCES'...THE 'GOING ALONG TO
GET ALONG' OF 'BEING AS' ONE IS 'SUPPOSED TO BE'...THE EFFECTS OF 'EXPECTANCY'.
..
'MAKING THINGS FIT'...BEING AS 'CORRIDORED' AND 'COMPRESSED' IN 'TOO EARLY ACTIV
ATIONS' IN 'KINWEBBINGS' AND BEING 'FORCED' TO 'DO SOMETHING' THAT IS NOT 'HSING
' OR 'NATURAL TENDENCY'...THE STATE OF 'NOT BEING' IN 'HSING'...THE MISSING OF A
SSERTION-AFFIRMATION OF 'REALNESS-POTENTIAL' IN TRUINGS OF INSTINCTS...IT IS LOS
S OF 'REAL SENSES' TO 'TOO EARLY EXCITEMENT' AS GROWTH IN NATURAL CURIOSITY IS '
ALTERED' IN COMPLIANCES OF 'THE TWIG BEING BENT' TO SERVE THE TREE...
IT IS 'ONLY AS ONE CREATES ONE'S OWN TREE' THAT ONE GROWS IN 'PURPOSE' REALIZATI
ON OF SELF IN TRUTH OF URGENCY...A PROCESS OF THE SELF 'OVERCOMING' THE SELF IN
'LETTING GO OF ALL THAT IS NOT ONE'...IT IS 'THE LIFE WE LEARN WITH' EVOLVING IN
TO 'THE LIFE WE LIVE'...THE BEING IN 'AS IS' OUT OF AN 'IDEOLOGY' IMPOSITION 'BE
LIEF-BEHAVIOR' SERVITUDE...
IT IS 'FAILURE TO THRIVE' AS REALNESS THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM 'MOMMY OR DADDY'S'
PERFECT PERFORMER WHO MAY BE 'AS EXPECTANCY'...FOR 'PEOPLE ONLY LEARN WHAT THEY
DISCOVER FOR THEMSELVES'...

DEEP WITHIN THERE IS A 'COMPLIANCE-RESENTMENT' AS ANGER BREWS INTO HABITS, PATTE

RNS, AND WAYS OF PERSONALITY AS 'MEANS' OF ADAPTATION, INDIRECTION AND MANIPULAT
ION...THE CONSEQUENCES IN THE RESISTANCES AND COMPRESSIONS OF 'BEING AS ONE IS E
XPECTED' OR AS ONE IS PERSONALITY 'IDEALIZED' TO BE...IT IS A SUPPRESSION OF REA
LNESS IN THE COMPLIANCES OF 'RECURRENCE-EXPECTANCY' AS ONE OVERLOADS 'ANTENNAE'
IN HYPERVIGILANCE 'WARINESS' GUARDEDNESS AGAINST 'THREATS' TO THE 'IDEA VERSION
OF SELF'...
IT IS 'ZONING IN UNRESPONSIVENESS' OR 'CORRIDORING IN EXCESSIVENESS' AS 'BARBICA
N' INSULATION IS 'ROLE-PERFORMER' MEDIATION CONTROL IN 'BELIEF-BEHAVIOR' SERVITU
DE...
IT IS THE 'RELIGION OF FEAR' PASSED ON IN 'UNCONSCIOUSNESS' IN HERITAGE OF ENDUR
ANCE, COPING AND 'SHAME' CONTROL 'FORTRESSINGS'...TO COLLECT, ACCUMULATE, HIDE B
EHIND AND DISPLAY IN A 'FASHIONING FASCINATION' OF POWER QUESTING TO MAKE UP FOR
'LACK', 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' OR THE 'MISSING'...TO STORE AND TO 'PAD, PACK, INSULA
TE' AGAINST REAL FEELINGS...TO SMOTHER AND DENY CONTRARY SENSES OF 'VANITY FEARZ
'...'TO BARBICAN' IN A WAY OF 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' RESTLESSNESS AND 'AGITATION
' SEEKING TO OVERCOME FEELINGS OF 'UNWORTHINESS'...
'TO BARBICAN' IS 'FALSENESS' USING A 'MEANS' OR A 'VEHICLE' TO 'GET NEEDS MET'..
.ARTIFICIALITY, SHALLOWNESS MOVING IN VEILINGS OF 'DESIRE' THAT 'BLIND'...THE DE
SIRE OF KNOWING WHAT IS SOUGHT AND BEING READY TO EXCHANGE 'FAVORS' IN POWER GRE
ATER THAN LOVE 'RECIPROCITY'...A 'CART BEFORE HORSE EXPECTANCY CONTAINMENT' CONT
ROLLING AND LIMITATION...
THE DEAL MAKING OF PSYCHE 'TRADE-OFFS' OF DESIRE...SEX FOR POWER...AS 'SOMETHING
IS REMOVED FROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST' AND THE 'DEADNESS IN UNRESPONSIVENESS OR D
EADENING' BECOMES THE 'HAG-STATE' OF 'SOMEONE' WHO LIVES IN ANGRY 'FAILURE' OF '
BEING FILLED WITH CREATIVE ENERGIES' YET IS 'UNABLE TO SURRENDER TO THE REAL SEL
F' OF SEXUAL SATISFACTION IN 'TRUINGS OF REAL WILL URGENCY'...
IT IS THE RELIGION OF FEAR AS MISSING 'SELF-ESTEEM'...THE 'CONTROLLINGS' IN 'FEA
R OF BEING CAUGHT IN THE ACT, AGAIN' AS THE MASTER EMOTION 'SHAME' GOVERNS BARBI
CAN DEFENSES...IT IS PERSONALITY AS MEDIATOR 'GUARDING AGAINST' LOSS OF LEVERAGI
NG, THE VIGILANCE CONSTANCY OF 'SHAME' MAINTAINING THE 'IDEAL' OR IMAGE OF IDENT
ITY...

IT IS 'SHAME' IN 'DENIAL, LAUGHTER AND FORGETTING' AS 'BEHAVIORS' INSTEAD OF 'NA

TURAL' TRUINGS OF VITALITY...IT IS 'SHAME' IN THREAT OF EXPOSURE UNLESS ONE 'PER
FORMS' AND 'SHARES' IN COMMISERATIONS AND ORBITAL 'LIKE-MINDEDNESS'...THE 'MIND-
SETS' OF A 'LIFE BOATING' OF THE RELIGION OF FEAR...
IT IS 'SHAME' IN SERVITUDE TO THE 'BARBICAN' FORTRESSING OF THE HUNGRY GHOSTS WI
THIN IN APPETITES OF 'CRAZE AND CRAVE' THAT MAINTAIN THE CASTLE OF ILLUSIONS...I
T IS GENERATION OF 'CHAOS, CONFUSION, MISDIRECTION, OBSTACLES' AS THE 'RELIGION
OF FEAR' CONSUMES TRUINGS OF IDENTITY...IT IS 'INSULATION AS UNRESPONSIVENESS'
IT IS VANITY FEARZ IN THE BARRIER WALLINGS OF 'NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE CONTROLS'
OF AN 'IDEA VERSION' OF SELF IN MASKINGS, VEILINGS, DECEPTIONS, ILLUSIONS AND D
ENIAL...THE 'SELFISH FEARFULNESS' OF ONE WHO NEVER SUCCEEDS IN THE 'CHILD'S PLAY
' OF 'HIDE AND SEEK' INTEGRATION OF 'FEAR IN ABANDONMENT' SENSES...WHO ONLY KNOW
S 'BARBICAN' INSULATIONS AND FORTRESSINGS...
IT IS SEEING 'BARBICAN' IN THE 'CONTEMPT' IN POSTURAL DISTORTIONS OF ONE WHO FEA
RS FREEDOM OF 'ABANDON' AND SIMULTANEOUSLY VIEWS THE THWARTED AND THEREBY DIMINI
SHED 'ATTEMPTS' OF A 'LOVER' WITH DISDAIN...THE CONTEMPT IN MAKING 'OBSTACLES' O
F 'CONSUMPTION' AS 'PATHINGS' OF 'PROOF OF REAL LOVE'...THE 'BARBICAN' ILLNESS O
F HYSTERIA SENSUALIZATION AS 'SHE SLEEPS' BEHIND A 'WALLING' THAT PRECLUDES HER
REAL SEXUALITY PRESZENCE...THE 'INSULATION' OF 'UNRESPONSIVENESS'...

IT IS 'WILFULLNESS', 'DEFIANCE' AND 'RESENTMENT-COMPLIANCES' THAT SUSTAIN 'BARBI

CAN' FORTRESS BELIEF-BEHAVIORS AS ANGER DOES NOT BECOME A TRANSFORMATIVE MEANS..
.IT IS 'SHOCK' AFFECTS IN METABOLIC DERANGEMENT GENERATING EXCESSES OF 'SUGARS'
IN 'FIGHT-FLIGHT' ADRENALINES AND 'ADRENAL OVERLOADS'...SOMETHING IS MOVED FROM
WHERE IT WORKS BEST IN MORE THAN 'TEMPORARY' ADAPTATION...A PROLONGED 'DISTORTIO
N' THAT COMPELS SERVITUDE TO THE HUNGRY GHOSTS OF APPETITE...
HIP WARS...THE 'VIS-A-VIS' BARBICAN FORTRESS 'COLLISIONISM' OF HYPERVIGILANCE IN
ENCOUNTERS...POSTURES, IMBALANCES, 'IMAGE' AND 'MIMESIS', ACTING IN 'ROLE-PERFO
RMER' ZONINGS...BEING AS 'EXPECTANCY' OR 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' SEDUCTION, MANIP
ULATION OR 'SUBMISSION'...THE 'POWER QUESTS' OF SERVITUDE IN 'SHAME' LEVERAGE CO
NTROL OF 'SAMSKARA' IN ACCUMULATION OF MORE AND MORE 'ATTACHMENTS'...
HIP WARS...INERTIA OF MEDIATION OF OPPRESSION...HIP WARS OF DOMINANCE AND SUBMIS
SIVENESS FOSTERING 'HOUDINI ESCAPISM INTO 'ANAESTHESIZED' MEANS OF 'NUMBINGS'...
HIP WARS IN EXCESSES OF DENIAL AND CONTROL EVEN IN GREAT COST TO PERSONAL ORGANI
C VITALITY...
'FAILURE'...A 'TYRANNY' OF THE WEAK IN FORCE OF DOMINANCE, IMPOSITION AND EGOIST
IC 'NARCISSISM'...A 'CONTROLLING' IN 'REWARD-PUNISHMENT' TO 'MAKE THINGS FIT' AN
'EXPECTANCY'...THE 'CONTROL OF OUTCOME'...CERTAINTY IN 'DRIVES' OF 'IMPRESSION
MANAGEMENT'...'BULLYING' AND 'BAIT AND SWITCH' AS 'ILLUSIONS' OF 'DESIRE' COMPEL
AND 'CONTROL'...
TO ACCESS TRUE WILL, TRUTH OF URGENCY, TRUINGS IN INTEGRITY OF PATHINGS OF HEART
MEAN ONE MUST LEAVE THE ZONING 'STATUS QUO' OF THE 'CASTLE' OF THE HUNGRY GHOST
S...ONE LEARNS TO BREATHE IN A SELF RESPECT, SELF ESTEEM IN 'PRESZENCE' AND OUT
OF THE 'ADDICTIONS WITHHOLDINGS OF COPING' TO EVOLVE INTO A 'RESOLVE' OF INDEPEN
DENCE...TO LET GO OF ALL THAT IS NOT ONE...
FAILURE...
FAILURE TO MAINTAIN THE 'FALSE HOMEOSTASIS' OF A MANUFACTURED-CONSTRUCTED' SELF.
..FAILURE IN STATES OF 'APPROACH-AVOIDANCE' AS 'SUCCESSFUL ORGASM' MAY NOT BE WH
AT IS DESIRED...FAILURE IN ORDER TO SUSTAIN THE 'ZONED-OUT' WAY OF THE 'RELIGION
OF FEAR'...

FAILURE...
'O, SO YOU WANT ME TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR UNCONSCIOUS'...NO, IT IS MY RESPON
SIBILITY FOR MY OWN SEXUALITY, BELIEFS AND BEHAVIORS...
IT IS MY BARBICAN SHAME CASTLE...I WILL BE IN MY OWN CONSCIOUSNESS IN 'OVERCOMIN
G FAILURE'...
CONSCIOUSNESS IS LEARNING TO BE 'PRESENT' 'TO SOURCE' THE EDGES OF 'DEEP-SEATED'
'ANGER', FEAR AND 'DANGER' AS ONE LOOKS INTO THREAT, 'VIOLENCE ACTIONS' AND 'CO
NTEMPT' MEANS OF 'DISTANCINGS' ONE USES TO ALLEVIATE 'FRUSTRATIONS' AS ONE ADAPT
S AND WRESTLES WITH AN 'IDEA VERSION OF SELF'...IT IS GOING INTO ECHOES OF 'D'AN
GER, THE CONFUSION OF DESIRE IN 'THWARTINGS' AND 'SPLITTING-OFF' THAT 'WALLS' CO
MPELLING 'FAILURE' OR 'FORCE' INSTEAD OF 'NATURAL TENDENCY'...TO MOVE TO 'INNER
NECESSITY' IN 'AS IS' IS 'LETTING GO OF AN 'INSULATION' STRUCTURE THAT IS BUILT
ON 'FALSE HOMEOSTASIS' OR 'UNHEALTHY GROUNDING'...
IT IS SEEING INTO THE CLOSED CIRCULARITY INSULATION 'SPACE-PLACE' OF HUNGERS, AC
CUMULATIONS, IMBALANCES, DISTORTIONS, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS AND PERSONALITY MASKIN
GS...THE SHAME TERROR FEARFULNESS OF THREAT OF EXPOSURE GUARDING THE PATTERNS OF
THE INNER THREATS' AS SEEN IN REACTIONS AGAINST THE SHADOWS ON INNER CAVE WALLS
...TO SEE THE AFFECTS OF 'SAMSKARA' AS ONE SEEKS 'ATTACHMENTS' OF MORE OF THE SA
ME 'IMPRESSIONS' IN ORDER TO 'FEEL SAFE AND SOUND' IN A FAMILIARITY THAT MAINTAI
NS 'BARRIER WALLING'...INERTIA IN 'INSULATIONS' OF A BARBICAN 'FORTRESS' TO MAI
NTAIN THE 'IDEA VERSION OF SELF' ORDERING...
IT IS A SENSE OF 'INADEQUACY' DIRECTED INTO ROLE OR PERFORMANCE 'WAYS' AS A 'MEA
NS' TO 'COMPENSATE' FOR THE 'GNAWINGS' OR INNER 'DEADENING' OF SENSES...'SOMETHI
NG IS MOVED FROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST'...IT IS LEVERAGE IN 'IMAGE MAKING' AND 'SA
VANT-LIKE' CORRIDORING TO 'PROJECT' AND 'BRACE' AGAINST 'EXPOSURE' OF REALNESS..
.
IT IS THE 'ESSENCE' ACCESSING OF 'REACTIVITY TO 'SPELLBINDINGS' AND 'SPELL-CASTI
NGS'...THE EARLY HARM RESONANCE OF THE 'SPELLS OF CHILDHOOD' AS ONE 'SPLITS-OFF'
INTO 'CONTROLLINGS' IN 'IMAGINE' AND 'FANTASY' ENDURANCE-COPING...IT IS THE 'RO
YAL' PATHING OF CHESSBOARD POKER '8X8' IN 'WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME AS '64' AS FOR
TRESS 'EXCHANGES' BECOMES A WAY OF 'YOU CANNOT REPAIR CONTROL'...
IT IS AN 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' WAY OR 'GAME' IN GAMBLE, RISK, ACCUMULATION, 'NUMBI
NGS' AND INSULATION...IT IS 'CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL' AS 'VANITY-FEARZ' OF ANG
ST-SHAME-MASKING BUILD INSULATION 'BRICKZ' THAT 'WALL-AWAY' AND 'KEEP THE PRINCE
SS[AND THE PRINCE] BEHIND A 'WALL OF FIRE' THAT PRECLUDES REAL SEXUAL AWAKENING'
...A 'NARCISSISM WALLING' OF SELF ABSORPTION 'HEAVILY INVESTED' IN 'POWER GREATE
R THAN LOVE' MANIPULATIONS OF BARBICAN 'INSULATIONS'...
IT IS THE 'ROYAL WAY' OF 'COURTING' AS 'RITUAL' OF 'MAKING THINGS FIT' THE 'GAME
OF 'KA' ORDERING...THE WAY OF 'MING' IN NAME 'SOUND' RESONANCE 'UNITING' THE EN
ERGIES OF 'HEAVEN AND EARTH'...
THE AMPLIFICATION OF 'KINWEBBING ENMESHMENTS' OF SECRECY SHAME AS ACCENTUATIONS
OF 'OVER-FAMILIARITY' IN 'TOO EARLY SEXUAL ACTIVATION' BECOME 'INHIBITIONS' INTO
'CORRIDORINGS' OF THE 'IDEA VERSION' OF SELF...THE 'SECRECY' OF THE 'SHAME BOUN
D' IN ZONINGS OF 'FEAR OF EXPOSURE'...
FAILURE...
'ONE MOVES IN MEDIATION-CONTROL IN A 'HYPERVIGILANCE' IN THE RELIGION OF FEAR IN
EXPECTANCY, 'WORST CASE SCENARIO' AND 'ROLE-PERFORMANCE' SELF-DECEPTION...THE M
EANS OF 'HIDING' IN DESIRE OF 'FANTASY, ILLUSION AND AUTO-EROTICISM' OF SENSUALI
ZED 'SELF-ABSORPTION'...A ZONING IN BARBICAN CORRIDORING 'EXPECTANCY' AS 'BELIEF
-BEHAVIOR' IN 'ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT'...IN EFFECT, ONE BECOMES 'ONE'S OWN WORST E
NEMY'...
ONE MUST GO INTO ONE'S FORTRESS SEEING A 'REALM' OF 'HUNGRY GHOSTS OF APPETITES'
AND CHOOSE TO 'RELEASE' AND 'FREE' ONESELF FROM THE 'CONSTRUCTIONS' OF 'SHAME,
GUILT, BETRAYAL, THREAT OF EXPOSURE' IN ORDER TO SENSE 'OPPORTUNITY REALIZATION'
IN HOW THE 'WOUND[S] MAY REVEAL THE CURE'...A TRUING DECISION TO ACCESS AND 'WE
ED OUT' THE ROOTS OF 'FAILURE' SEEING HOW THE AFFECTS OF 'POWER GREATER THAN LOV
E' HAS BECOME REDIRECTIONS, APPROACH-AVOIDANCE, REPRESSIONS , DENIALS AND PARTIT
IONINGS...
'NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF DENIAL' ESPECIALLY AS IT SERVES THE INSULATION
'NUMBINGS' OF AN 'IDEA VERSION OF SELF' FOR EVEN AS ONE MAY ENCOUNTER 'SPONTANE
ITY' IN A MOMENT THERE IS 'INERTIAL RECOIL' AS THE FORCE OF 'REPRESSION' SEEKS '
TO RESTORE TO AN EARLIER STATE'...THE IDEALIZED 'IDEA OF SELF' STATE...THE 'BARB
ICAN' FORTRESSED STATE...
INERTIA...FAILURE...FALSE HOMEOSTASIS...
IT IS OPPORTUNITY TIME OF 'LEARNING TO MAKE DISTINCTIONS' IN 'NOT THROWING OUT T
HE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER'...FOR THE SKILLS AND TALENTS ONE LEARNS IN 'DUTY, DE
VELOPMENT, AND TALENT' ARE LIFE FORCE NECESSITY AS CONCENTRATIONS OF 'HEALTHY-FO
CUS' IN HEALTHY USE OF DISCIPLINE...IT IS SEEING WHAT IS TO BE OF VALUE IN 'PASS
ION-PURPOSE' AS ONE LETS GO OF 'SHAME' AND 'GUILT' IN IMPOSITION 'OBLIGATION, PA
DDING, AND FORTRESSING'...
ONE 'LETS GO OF ALL THAT IS NOT ONE'...AS 'ONLY WHAT IS FELT IS TRULY KNOWN'...A
S ONE DISCOVERS FOR ONESELF WHAT TRULY MATTERS...AS ONE ACCESSES 'TRUINGS OF NAT
URAL IN URGES AND LOVING'...
IT IS TO FACE 'COMPRESSION' WITHIN...TO KNOW 'CONTRACTION' AS 'INTENSITY-DENSITY
' OF 'ANAESTHETIZING, NUMBING AND ESCAPISM'...TO EXPERIENCE 'SUBSTANCES' OF ABUS
E AND 'MAYBE ITS' BETTER NOT TO BE ONE'S OWN REALITY'...IT IS SEEING 'INTENSITY-
DENSITY' IN THE 'FEAR-MASK-VEILING' ILLUSIONS OF 'SPELLINGS' OF 'IMPRESSION MANA
GEMENT' WITHIN THE 'CLOSED-CIRCULARITY' MEDIATION CONTROLLINGS OF THE 'SHADOWS'
ON THE 'INNER CAVE WALLS'...
IT IS SEEING 'PERSONALITY' AS A 'SERIES OF 'SUCCESSFUL' BEHAVIORS THAT MEDIATES
THIS ARENA ZONING OF 'INTENSITY-DENSITY'...IT IS ONLY IN A TIME OF CRISIS WHEN '
THE EGO HAS NO MORE POWER AND THE NORMAL WAYS OF DOING THINGS 'FAIL' THAT SOMETH
ING WILL SURFACE TO CHANGE, TO 'REDEEM' AND FACILITATE A NEW ORDER AS THE OLD OR
DER BREAKSDOWN...
IT IS 'TIME OF ENCOUNTER' OF THE 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' INSULATION-FORTRESSING OF '
THICK-SKIN' POLITICAL MEDIATION...GOING INTO THE 'TOUGH-HIDE' RIGIDITY TALENTS O
F 'THWARTING, WARDING OFF, CONTROLLING, MANIPULATING' IN 'REWARD-PUNISH' POWER T
HAT IS GREATER THAN LOVE AS ONE 'HONES' MEANS OF 'FIGHT OR FLIGHT' WAYS OF 'SURV
IVAL' IN ENDURANCE AND 'SHREWDNESS'...
THE 'TEMPOS' OF 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' AS POWER SEEKING BEHAVIORS OF 'WITHHOLDIN
G-CONTAINMENT' IN SEXUALITY, AND 'DENIAL-SILENCE' THAT 'MESHES' WITH ONE'S 'INTE
NSITY-DENSITY' AS AN 'INNER CLOCK' OF 'CONTEMPT' FEARING ABANDONMENT AND HOLDING
RESENTMENT AND 'SELF-HATE' FOR 'BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'...DEEP SENSES OF 'BET
RAYALS' OF SELF AND BY OTHERS...
IT IS SEEING 'DEEP WOUNDEDNESS' AND 'DEEP LOSS' THAT BECOMES SAMSKARA IN ACCUMUL
ATION OF 'ATTACHMENTS' TO MAINTAIN THE 'CONSTRUCTIONS' AND INSULATIONS OF 'MIND-
SET'...
FAILURE...

ONE IS 'DOOMED' IN SHAME AS IF ON A 'TREADMILL NIGHTMARE' OF 'RUNNING TWICE AS F

AST' TO MAINTAIN 'CONTROL' IN ALL 'EXCHANGES' AS 'POWER' USING 'SEDUCTION', 'MAN
IPULATION', 'UNAVAILABILITY' AND 'DISTANCING' TO 'COMPEL' COMPLIANCE IN THE 'INT
ENSITY-DENSITY' GAME OF SERVITUDE TO THE 'IDEA' VERSION OF IDENTITY...
THE 'HARD-EARNED' BEHAVIORS OF BARBICAN FORTRESSING MAY RESULT IN CONSEQUENCES I
N LOSS OF 'ORGANIC INTEGRITY'...THE 'LIMITATION-DISTANCINGS' OF EXCESSIVE LEVERA
GINGS BECOME 'FEAR OF SPONTANEITY-PLEASURE' AS 'PAIN IS ENMESHED' IN THE FIBROUS
DARKNESS OF 'BARBICAN FORTRESSING'...SO 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' BECOMES 'HYSTERI
A SENSUALIZATION' IN 'TRYING TOO HARD' AND 'IMITATION' RESULT IN 'SPIRIT' IN AN
ALIENATION OF 'BODY-ELECTRIC' ORDER OUT OF SYNC WITH TRUTH OF URGENCY...THERE IS
'UNSATISFACTION'AS ONE 'FILLS WITH CREATIVENESS'...THERE IS 'ALIENATION OF SELF
' EVEN AS THERE IS 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' IN THE 'REDIRECTED REPRODUCTIVENESS' OF '
SAVANT-LIKE' MERIDIAN STREAMINGS THROUGH 'POINTS OF LIGHT' PATTERNS OF 'ROLE' FO
R 'BEING CHARGED' IN 'ACCENTUATION' OR 'AMPLIFICATION' OF VALUED 'TRAITS' FREQUE
NTLY BECOMES 'TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING' IN LONG TERM DAMAGE TO ORGANIC INTEGRITY
...
SAMSKARA...THE 'MIND IS PULLED 'OUTWARD' TOWARDS THE SENSES AND AWAY FROM ITS 'I
NNER NATURE'...BEING IS IN THE 'DEEP SCARS' OF THE LATENT SELF IN 'SELF-REPRODUC
ING' IMPRESSIONS OF PAST ACTIONS...IT IS 'DEEP SEATEDNESS' IN RECURRENCY 'DRAMAS
' AS 'WATCHING SHADOWS' ON 'INNER CAVE WALLS' OF 'CLOSED CIRCULARITY' OF SELF...

IT IS REACTIVITY 'SAMSKARA' BEING PULLED OUT TOWARDS THE SENSES AS 'BARBICAN' WA

LLINGS AWAY FROM REALNESS...IT IS 'SHAME' IN 'MASTER EMOTION' CONTROL THROUGH 'I
MPRESSION MANAGEMENT' AND 'IMAGE-MAKING' IN 'BRACING-PROJECTION' AGAINST 'VULNER
ABILITY- WOUNDEDNESS' AS THE 'OTHER' IS TREATED AS 'THE ONE' IN 'NEEDINESS'...IT
IS A FORM OF 'DOMINANCE' AS A 'TYRANNY OF THE WEAK' IN 'BITCHINESS' OF 'WAYS' A
S ONE 'RECREATES' AND MAINTAINS FORTRESSINGS IN 'SAMSKARA'...FOR AS SANTAYANA WR
OTE 'THOSE WHO DO NOT LEARN FROM THE PAST ARE CONDEMNED TO REPEAT IT'...
IT IS SEEING 'SUPPRESSION-DENIAL' AS A 'POWER MODE'...[..IT IS SEEING THAT SHE W
AS 'TRAPPED' IN HER OWN 'REACTIVITY-WILFULLNESS' FOR 'POWER GREATER THAN LOVE' B
LINDED HER IN A DEEP DESIRE HUNGER OF 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' DRIVINGS OF 'OBSESS
IVENESS'... POSSESSED IN A 'STRIVING' AND 'WISH FULFILLMENT' BLINDNESS IN SEEKIN
G TO 'MAKE THINGS FIT' A 'COMPENSATORY' BARBICAN CASTLING RHYTHM WITHOUT 'TRUTH
OF URGENCY' OR 'TRUE WILL' IN LOVE GENERATIVENESS...]
THE 'ROYAL PATHING' OF 'MATTERS' IN BATTERY 'CHARGED' MIRRORINGS OF 'IMPOSITION'
DEFINITION...IT IS 'DESIRE AS A STRATEGIST' IN 'MIMESIS' MOVING IN MACHIAVELLI
AS 'CLIZIA' IN 'THE CLOSER A MAN IS TO HIS DESIRE, THE MORE HE DESIRES IT...AND
SINCE HE CANNOT HAVE IT...IT CAUSES HIM GREATER TORMENT'...
IT IS 'ROYALTY' MIND-SET SELFISHNESS OF 'NARROW-MINDEDNESS' IN 'CONSTRUCTION' OF
'BARBICAN' CASTLES OF 'RESCUE THE PRINCESS' RHYTHMS OF THE 'WOMAN FILLED' WITH
CREATIVE ENERGIES INSTEAD OF 'THE WOMAN SATISFIED IN SEXUALITY'...
IT IS 'WORTH IT' IN 'POWER GREATER THAN LOVE' IN ROYAL-EMPIRE INSTITUTIONAL 'FAI
LURE' IN SENSES OF 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' AS THE 'REARINGS' OF 'ROYAL' MIND-SET THAT
FOSTER 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' IN ROMANCE, FANTASY, DENIAL, TENETS AND PATTERNING
S OF RITUAL COURTING INSTEAD OF FACILITATION OF 'REALNESS' IN TRUTH OF INSTINCTI
VE URGENCY...'TRUTH OF SUCK'
IT IS SEXOMONEY MEDIA EMPIRE ADVERTISING IN ERNST DICHTER'S STANDARD OF 'CONSTRU
CTIVE DISCONTENT' AND THE SENSAMORA[GODDESS OF ACOUSTICAL RESONANCE] RHYTHMS OF
COMPENSATORY CONSUMPTION IN 'BUY THIS AND BECOME THIS'...
THE EXTERNALIZATION MODES THAT ARE IN CONCERT WITH 'KA' RHYTHMS OF EROSTOCRACY '
CRAVE AND CRAZE' THAT ARE DIFFERENT FROM 'SELON SOI' WHICH IS 'MANIFESTATION OF
INHERENT WANTS'...

IT IS 'L' AS VENUS IN THE WOMAN 'FILLED' WITH CREATIVE ENERGIES INSTEAD OF THE W
OMAN SATISFIED' AS BARBICAN INSULATION PRECLUDES REAL SEXUAL AWAKENING...IT IS
HEART THAT IS IN 'INSULATION' WITHIN A CLOSED CIRCLE 'MIND-SET' OF EXPECTANCY PO
WER CONTROL...THE WANTING TO BE WANTED' MODES OF ROYALTY CHESS IS BARBICAN FORT
RESSING INSTEAD OF TRUTH OF URGENCY...
IT IS THE 'ROBBING PETER TO PAY PAUL' LEVERAGINGS AND 'FIREWATER TRANSFERRENCES'
OF A 'SPEED' OF THE 'RULE OF THE FEW'...THE ONGOING 'ELECTRONIC HERDING' IN 'MA
SS-OCCUR' MADNESS AS 'ONE OUT OF MANY'[E PLURIBUS UNUM] IS THE DIVIDE AND CONQUE
R RHYTHM OF THE MOMENTUM OF BUILDING PYRAMIDS CONSTRUCTION AS 'THE MORE THERE AR
E OF YOU, THE LESS YOU ARE OF ANY VALUE'...THE INTERSECTION OF 'EROSTOCRACY' FOS
TERINGS OF 'CRAZE AND CRAVE', SENSAMORA AND AN IDEOLOGY OF THE 'EXCEPTION MAKES
THE RULE'...
FAILURE...
THE NECESSITY OF 'INSULATION' PREVENTS 'ONLY WHAT IS FELT IS TRULY KNOWN'...
IT IS THE 'RATIONALE OF FERTILITY' AS PROJECTED INTO 'MARKETS' OF DESIRE AND CON
SUMING...A 'WALLING' OR 'WALL STREET' OF 'MARKET' VALUES OF 'SCARCITY-RARITY' TH
AT IS CONTRARY TO PRINCIPLES OF GENERAL WELFARE AND COMMON GOOD...A WINNERS AND
LOSERS TEMPO OF 'EXPENDABILITY' IN 'COST OF DOING BUSINESS' AS 'ELITE INSIDERS'
TAKE CARE OF 'ONE-ANOTHER' IN A 'YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM JOIN THEM' REALITY...IT IS
'OBJECT' AND ASSETS GREATER THAN LIFE THAT RESULTS IN A FORM OF CANNIBALIZATION
OF 'INNER INTEGRITY' IN ORDER TO ENDURE...THE 'MEDIATION IMAGE CONTROLLING COMPL
IANCES' OF PSYCHE ROYAL RHYTHMS...
FAILURE...
ONE HAS 'LITTLE CHOICE' EXCEPT TO MOVE IN 'ADAPTATION-ACCEPTANCE' AS A NORMAL 'E
VOLUTIONARY' PATH UNTIL OR UNLESS ONE ENCOUNTERS THE TIME OF A CRISIS 'REDEFINIT
ION' OF SELF...AN INTERSECTION OF OPPORTUNITY 'TO SEE ONESELF IN A NEW WAY'...TO
FACE THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF 'HESHEWEI' IN ALTERING THE DYNAMISM OF 'HE-SHE-WE-I'
IN 'TRUINGS OF EMERGENCE' AFFIRMATION...IT IS LEARNING 'TO LET GO OF TRYING' OR
DOING SOMETHING TO 'MAKE THINGS FIT'...THE IMBALANCES IN COMPENSATING IN 'SOMETH
ING' TO FILL THE PSYCHE' IN ITS' ACHING-EMPTINESS OF RESONATING 'WOUNDS AND NERV
ES'...
IT IS AN 'INFERIORITY' MIND-SET STUCK IN 'AL-CO-HAUL' WAYS OF 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH'
THAT REQUIRE 'INSULATIONS' IN FIREWATER DREAMS TO 'BUILD' INTENSITY TO MEDIATE S
ENSES OF POWERLESSNESS, LACK AND SHAME...THE 'UNDERCURRENCY' OF 'IMPRESSION MANA
GEMENT' TO MAINTAIN 'BARBICAN' RHYTHMS...
IT IS 'POWER GREATER THAN LOVE' THAT PRECLUDES EMERGENCE OF 'SPONTANEITY' IN 'SU
RRENDERING' TO INNER REALNESS IN 'TRUINGS OF URGENCY' BEYOND 'POWER' FORTRESS WA
LLINGS...THE ESSENCE IN 'SOMETHING HAS BEEN MOVED FROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST'...TH
E BELIEF-BEHAVIORS OF ACTIONS TO 'BARBICAN' INSTEAD OF BEING ABLE TO LOVE'...
IT IS COURAGE TO MOVE OUT OF THE 'ROLE-PERFORMANCE' OF 'KA' THAT MAINTAINS THE B
ARBICAN FORTRESSING AND TO DECIDE 'ONLY WHAT IS FELT IS TRULY KNOWN' AS ONE MOVE
S TO REALNESS OF SOUL IN 'BA'...IT IS THE JOURNEY OF 'BAOKA' MOVING THROUGH 'NOT
HINGNESS, EMPTINESS, ABYSS' OF 'O' WITHIN AS A DYNAMISM OF 'BAOKA'...
IT IS INNER 'SURRENDERING OF REALNESS' TO THE EMERGENCE OF 'TRUTH OF URGENCY' OU
T OF 'KA' IMPRESSION ROLE-PERFORMANCE...THE DECISIONS OF 'SPIRIT' ENERGIES IN 'B
A' ENCOUNTERING 'ABYSS' AS 'O' IN LEAVING 'ROYAL MIND-SET' WAYS...THE OVERCOMING
OF THE 'CONSTRUCTED SELF' THAT FORTRESSES IN 'SAMSKARA' IN ACCUMULATIONS OF 'AT
TACHMENTS' THAT REINFORCE RHYTHMS OF 'PAST ACTIONS'...

IT IS SEEING INTO THE 'CLOSED CIRCULARITY' IDEA VERSION OF SELF THAT IS 'INTENSI
TY-DENSITY' WHERE THE 'ANTICIPATORY' TENSION ACCUMULATIONS IN FEAR, FORTRESSING,
'TRYING TOO HARD' AND 'FAILING' CONSTITUTE 'HYPERVIGILANCE' HYSTERIA...THE 'SEN
SUALIZATION' AS 'EXCITEMENT' THAT THRIVES IN 'AUTO-EROTICISM' AND BECOMES 'FOR S
UCCESSFUL ORGASM MAY NOT BE WHAT IS DESIRED'...THE 'SOMETHING IS MISSING' WAY T
HAT COMPELS A 'PAN-NICK' QUEST OF COUNTER-ENCOUNTER-REALIZATION-KNOWING IN FINDI
NG, EXPLORING, COLLECTING, SAMSKARA-ACCUMULATING IN SERVITUDE TO 'CRAZE AND CRAV
E' COMPENSATORY CONSUMINGS TO 'BARBICAN'...
'NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF REPRESSION-DENIAL' AS THE GOAL OF A 'DRIVE' IS
TO RELEASE YET ITS' PURPOSE MAY BE TO SUSTAIN THE 'HIDDEN' AS SHE 'SLEEPS BEHIN
D A WALL OF FIRE THAT PRECLUDES HER REAL SEXUAL AWAKENING'...IT IS IN 'HER RESIS
TANCES WITHIN' TO 'EXPOSURE' OF HER 'SHAME-EMOTION' CONSTRUCTIONS...IT IS THE 'R
OYAL MIND SET' OF A 'DECK' OF CARDS IN 'GAMES' OF 'RISK, REWARD AND RITUAL'...
FAILURE...
SOMETHING IS IN THE 'DEEP ANGST-VANITY-FEARZ' THAT PRECLUDES 'SUCCESS' OF TRUING
S OF URGENCY IN 'AS IS' 'PRESENCE'...FOR THE INERTIA OF 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' BARB
ICAN AS 'SAMSKARA' OF GENERATION OF MORE AND MORE 'ATTACHMENTS' OF PAST ACTIONS'
MERELY FUEL THE APPETITES OF HUNGRY GHOSTS IN THE VEILINGS, MASKINGS OF 'SHAME'
AND 'SELF-DECEPTIONS'...

FAILURE...
IT IS SEEING 'SENSAMORA' AS THE GODDESS OF ACOUSTICAL RESONANCE CHANNELLING THE
'AGGRESSIONS OF CONSUMPTIONS' IN A FOSTERING OF 'MAD THUD IN THE MESS THIS' WAY
OF CORPORATION 'CHARGED-EROTICISM' THAT PERMEATES AS A 'HYSTERIA SENSUALIZATION
' THAT DERIVES FROM MACHIAVELLI 'CLIZIA' IN 'THE CLOSER A MAN IS TO HIS DESIRE,
THE MORE HE DESIRES IT AND SINCE HE CANNOT HAVE IT, IT CAUSES HIM GREATER TORMEN
T'...
IT IS 'POWER-MEDIATION-CONTROL' OF 'SEXOMONEY MEDIA EMPIRE' IN 'ROYALTY 'MIND-SE
T' THAT MUST BE OVERCOME TO ACCESS 'TRUINGS OF HEART AND REALNESS OF SEXUALITY..
.IT IS PROCESS OF 'BAOKA' TO WIN ONE'S AUTHENTICITY...TO HEAL THE DEEP SENSES OF
'FAILURE' AND 'INFERIORITY', 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' AND 'LACK'...TO OVERCOME THE 'SA
MSKARA' OF IMBALANCES IN INERTIA OF RECREATING 'ATTACHMENTS TO PAST ACTIONS'...T
HE SOURCE OF MISDIRECTION AND INDIRECTION...THE USE OF DECEPTIONS, ILLUSIONS AND
 DENIALS TO PROTECT ONESELF YET STILL SEEK TO GET NEEDS MET...THUS, 'MIMESIS' OR
'IMITATION' OF INNER NECESSITY MAY BECOME A FORM OF 'SELF-HATE' OR SELF-PUNISH
MENT IN THE 'REACTIVITY' OF SENSES AS ONE FEELS POWERLESS OR 'TRAPPED'...
IN EFFECT, ONE BECOMES ONE'S OWN WORST ENEMY...
IT IS BARBICAN BEING 'CAGED' IN REACTIVITY THAT LEADS TO 'DEFIANCE AND WILFULLNE
SS' IN AN 'ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT' THAT IS 'IMMATURITY' EVEN AS IT MAY AFFORD SOME
'POWER-CONTROL STATUS' AS 'EXTERNALIZATION' RECOGNITION OR SEXOMONEY MEDIA OR I
NSTITUTIONAL 'VISIBILITY'...IT IS THE 'SOCIAL-ECONOMIC' IN 'SEXUALIZED MONEY MAK
ING' DRIVING 'MIMESIS' IN RITUALS OF 'EROS-INSTITUTIONALIZATION' THAT IMPOSES IN
A PSYCHE PERMEATION IN 'LONGINGS' AND 'YEARNINGS' OF 'CONSTRUCTIVE DISCONTENT'
THAT 'CONSUME' REALNESS OF HEART AND SOUL...
THE RELIGION OF FEAR...
IT IS SPEED AND COMPRESSION COMPELLING ONE INTO COMPLIANCE YET SUGGESTING 'SOLUT
IONS' OF ESCAPE IN 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' IN 'TRANCEROS' YIELDING TO 'DIONYSIAN' RE
VELRY OF 'WILDNESS'...IT IS 'MIMESIS' IN CONSUMPTION TO 'EMULATE' AS SUGGESTION
'TRANCING' IN 'BUY THIS AND BECOME THIS' ILLUSION OR 'POWER SEEKING' OF 'HOW' ON
E 'OUGHT' TO BE...THE 'SOLUTIONS' THAT ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM AND EXHAUST AS ON
E IS 'ONLY MORE SO' INSTEAD OF BEING IN REAL TRANSFORMATION...

FAILURE...
'FOR THIS TIME' THE 'DANGER WILL BE TOTALLY CONTROLLED' AND THE 'INNOCENCE LOST'
WILL BE RESTORED...'THIS TIME' THERE WILL BE AN ELIMINATION OF THE 'CRITICISM A
ND HUMILIATIONS' OF THE PAST BY CONSTRUCTION OF BARBICAN FORTRESS REINFORCEMENTS
...THIS TIME THE 'APPETITES' OF THE INNER HUNGRY GHOSTS WILL FACILITATE 'SOLUTIO
NS' TO THE SENSES OF INFERIORITY OF THE BARBICAN CASTLE OF PUZZLES...THIS TIME '
ALL' THAT IS MOVING IN 'COMPENSATION' THAT IS SERVITUDE IN 'ANAETHESIA NUMBINGS'
OF 'FIREWATERS' AND 'ESCAPISM' WILL MAKE 'INTENSITY-DENSITY' A SUCCESSFUL 'CLOS
ED CIRCULARITY' OF 'SAFE AND SOUND'...
THE FAILURE IN A MIMESIS FAMILIARITY ONE SERVES IN 'MAYBE IT IS BETTER, NOT TO B
E YOUR OWN REALITY'...FOR IT IS 'PRINCESS' IN VANITY FEARZ, NOT IN INNOCENCE, IN
AN ACTIVE WITHDRAWAL-DENIAL MANIPULATING TO GAIN ADVANTAGE IN 'WANTING TO BE WA
NTED' POWER QUESTS 'GREATER THAN LOVE'...THE 'SAMSKARA' ACCUMULATINGS OF 'MORE S
O' DENSITY...
IT IS SEEING THAT THE PRINCESS IS 'SELF ABSORBED' AND UNABLE TO LOVE EVEN AS SHE
PORTRAYS HERSELF AS 'LOVE'...IT IS 'SHE IS PUT TO SLEEP BEHIND A WALL OF FIRE T
HAT PRECLUDES HER REAL SEXUAL AWAKENING'...IT IS DREAMTIME IN DREAMS ECHOING DEE
PLY AS SHE IS FILLED WITH CREATIVE ENERGIES INSTEAD OF 'BEING THE WOMAN SATISFIE
D IN SEXUALITY'...
CHARM...DIPLOMACY...SMOOTHNESS...SOFTNESS IN EDGES ENCOURAGING PENETRATION 'INTI
MACY' YET A 'BETRAYAL' ANGER WITHIN AS SHE WAS UNABLE TO FACE THE COST OF 'BARBI
CAN' INSULATION-MEDIATION-CONTROL WITHOUT SPONTANEITY-PLEASURE-SEXUAL SATISFACTI
ON...
SOMETHING IS MOVED AWAY FROM WHERE IT WOULD WORK BEST...
THERE WAS NOTHING THAT COULD 'ERASE' HER SELF-HATE FOR THE 'THINGS SHE DID FOR L
OVE'...RESENTMENT AND BETRAYAL SENSES OF RETRIBUTION AS 'RESURFACINGS' OF LONG A
GO 'REPRESSED RELIGIOUS' SHAME AND GUILT FOR THE 'SINS' OF HER PAST SURFACE...
SHE WAS 'STUCK' IN BEING HER OWN WORST ENEMY...AN OBSESSION OF 'EROTIC-NEUROTIC'
DRIVING IN THE 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' POWER QUEST LOOKING FOR THE 'FLAWS IN THE
OTHER' THAT WOULD ALLOW HER TO ERUPT'...THE SAVING GRACE...THE RESCUE...THE QUE
ST OF 'REWARD TO RELEASE' THAT INCREASINGLY BECAME 'FALSENESS' AS SHE 'SPLIT-OFF
' IN FURTHER DRIVES INTO INADEQUACY...SHE WAS 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' TO WIN HER OWN L
IFE...FOR SHE COULD NOT BEAR THE 'SHAME-EXPOSURE' OF BEING 'WITNESSED' IN BEING
SOMEONE DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE YEARS OF SUSTAINED MIND-SET 'IMAGE-MAKING'...
A CRISIS INTERSECT CALLED INTO REALIZATION THAT 'SOMETHING THAT WAS LOST WAS PR
OFOUND'...SOMETHING 'BURIED WITHIN' THAT SOUGHT CRYSTALLIZATION AND WANTED 'REBI
RTHING' OUT OF THE REPRESSION OF 'BARBICAN' CONTROLLINGS OF THE INNER HUNGRY GHO
STS OF 'PACIFICATION' AND 'NUMBINGS'...
FAILURE...
FAILURE...
FAILURE...
A CRISIS IN FACING WHAT SEEMED TO BE A 'CERTAINTY' IN THE MIDST OF 'CHAOS'...A D
OCTRINE, TENETS, BELIEF-BEHAVIOR FOLLOWING EXTERNALIZATION 'DEFINITIONS'...THE '
SHAME-GUILT-FEAR' AS CERTAINTY THAT RESONATED IN A SAFE AND SOUND 'BETTER THAN'
THE CHAOS OF NOTHINGNESS IN THE ABYSS OF ALONENESS...
FOR SHE HAD BECOME HER OWN WORST ENEMY IN DENIALS OF 'OTHER' WHO COULD 'TAKE HER
TO PLACES SHE COULD NOT GO TO BY HERSELF'...FOR SHE WOULD ENTRAP ANYONE WHO WOU
LD STEP ON A 'TRIP-WIRE' OR 'PUSH A BUTTON' OF 'PAN-NICK' REACTIVITY...A SPIDERW
EB STRAND OF 'ALARM' COMPELLING REACTIVITY INTO WILFULLNESS NOT TRUE LOVE AND T
RUTH OF URGENCY...A REACTIVITY-DEFIANCE DISPLAY...A CONTEMPT FOR THE OTHER WHO '
SET OFF' THE ALARMS...
FAILURE...
THE OTHER WAS NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH FOR HER TO USE TO SUCCEED TO ESCAPE FROM HER O
WN FORTRESSINGS...HER OWN DEADNESS, HER OWN 'TYRANNY OF THE WEAK'...HER 'SELF HA
TE' FOR NOT BEING INDEPENDENT AS A RESULT OF SO MUCH IMITATION AND CONSUMPTION O
F WHAT WOULD BE THE MEANS OF 'WHO SHE WOULD LIKE TO SEE HERSELF AS'...
FAILURE...
INSULATION ZONING...ACTIVATIONS OF 'SENSES OF FAILURE' IN 'NOT MEASURING UP' TO
BEING THE SOLUTION EVEN AS 'SHE SIZZLES AND STEAMS' TO PREVENT REAL SEXUAL AWAKE
NESS AND SATISFACTORY ORGASMIC FULFILLMENT...FOR RECURRENCE COMPELS BLOCKS AND D
ENIALS TO SUSTAIN INERTIA AS 'SUCCESSFUL ORGASM MAY NOT BE WHAT IS DESIRED'...
TIMES OF 'VULNERABILITY FEAR' IN 'ACTIVATIONS' THAT MOVE INTO STATES OF 'DISINTE
GRATION' IN A RETURN TO 'UNDIFFERENTIATION' OR GREAT CHAOS/UNCONSCIOUS WATERS...
EMPTINESS SPACE OR 'O' ABYSS...
IT IS 'BAOKA' PROCESS...WHO CARES...WHO KNOWS...WHO IS REALLY THERE...WHO 'WITNE
SSES, ATTESTS' IN A VALIDATION OF PRESZENCE IN 'AS IS' OUT OF THE 'PERFORMER CON
TROLLINGS' OF 'KA' ...THE BEHAVIORS SEEKING TO RECREATE AS 'FANTASY' OR 'IDEALIZ
ED' IN 'PERFECT' OR A 'DISTANCING REMOTENESS' OF 'SELF-PREOCCUPATION'...A FORM O
F 'IRON AMBITION' THAT IS 'HIDDEN' BEHIND A SEDUCTIVE 'IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT' MO
DE WHILE STILL 'TRAPPED IN THE PAST'...
FAILURE..
RESOLVE...IMPETUS...PURPOSE OF SELF IN OVERCOMING SELF...RELEASINGS IN 'SURRENDE
R OF SELF TO SELF'...TO GO INTO 'O' AS ABYSS 'NOTHINGNESS' IN PRESZENCE IN 'AS I
S' TO FEEL IN ORDER TO EMERGE IN REAL 'HEART' CONSCIOUSNESS...LEARNING IN A PROC
ESS OF 'BEING DEFEATED' IN 'OLD ORDERING'...SOMEONE AND SOMETHING IN THE CRISIS
OF EACH NEW 'COLLISION' AND CIRCUMSTANCE OF STRETCHING OUT OF 'STUPID' AND BEIN
G 'FORCED' INTO A 'NEW ORDER'...
FAILURE...
THE 'STUFF' THAT 'MINDS' IN 'MATTERS' OF 'HAVING SOMETHING' WHEN MOVING IN 'NOTH
INGNESS'...A DEEP PSYCHE' DESPERATION TO 'FEEL SAFE' AND 'USE ANY MEANS' TO 'FOR
TRESS'...IT IS COMPLEX IN SOURCING AS MULTILAYERINGS BECOME ENCOUNTERS OF 'DEEP-
ROOTEDNESS'...'FEAR OF REJECTION, ABANDONMENT, ANGST SENSES, IMAGE AND IDENTITY
CONFUSION, PROJECTIONS AGAINST IMPOSITIONS AND EXPECTANCY, ANGRY IMPULSIVENESS,L
ACK OF SELF AWARENESS, FEELINGS OF 'NOT BEING WORTHY', 'GRANDIOSE AND INFLATED E
GOISTIC' STATES 'COLLIDING' WITH 'PAN-NICK' TERROR AND ANGST SENSES OF LACK/NOT
GOOD ENOUGH'...
TO MOVE IN 'FIXINGS' AND REDEMPTIONS AS 'FAILURE' VULNERABILITY STATES BECOME OP
PORTUNITY OF RELEASE OF REALNESS AS 'HSING' IN 'NATURAL TENDENCY'...TO RECOGNIZE
'SAMSKARA' AND CHANGE FROM ACCUMULATIONS OF BARBICAN SHAME FORTRESSING TO TRANS
FORMATIVENESS IN RECRYSTALLIZATION AND RECONSTITUTION..
BARBI-CAN SHAME FORTRESS CASTLE OF PUZZLES

BITCH LUSTINESS S
GRIEF O ACCUMULATIONS
T D SEXUALITY B W
BRACINGS RAGES G E T SORROWS
A A E E E S FEAR
GRIEF O ACCUMULATIONS
T D SEXUALITY B W
BRACINGS
RAGES G E T SORROWS
A A E E E S FEARS E
Y T ANGERS R
M
A M C
DIRTY IMITATION
LONELINESS VANITY O C M C

U P D ROMANCE E O
M D E DARKNESS U SAFENESS
BITTERNESS E A R I T
I C T D F MOTHER I S R
DEADEN E I RESCUE A LOVE OS
G P N F N S DENIAL
T G I SINFULNESS I M
I I A I T P
INHIBITION N N V D Y C OBEY
N N E C REPRESSION U S
COCK SHAME A S N I
E H S B P I MASTURBATE
S Y A E R F I

T SECRETIONS ERECTILE
COLD
T D F N N I
EROS POWERLESSNESS GOOEYNESS C
R N I E SUCK

PENETRATION GUILT RIVALRY

I A H I

P TRAUMAS N T
PENIS
GREED
L U S
E CLITORIS TESTICLES

K
SEEDS EGGS ...

////////////////////////////////////////////
A PUZZLE IN REARRANGEMENT...FOR SOMETHING HAS BEEN MOVED ROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST
...TO BARBICAN...TO BE IN SERVITUDE TO THE HUNGRY GHOSTS OF APPETITE...TO CASTLE
IN DRIVES AS 'SEXUAL ORGASM MAY NOT BE WHAT IS DESIRED'...TO SEE 'ROYAL' RHYTHM
S OF 'POWER' IN 'WANTING TO BE WANTED' MOVING IN MIMESIS AS BUY THIS TO BECOME T
HIS IN AN ADVERTISING 'CONSTRUCTIVE DISCONTENT' IN CONCERT WITH MACHIAVELLI 'FOR
THE CLOSER A MAN IS TO HIS DESIRE, THE MORE HE DESIRES IT, AND SINCE HE CANNOT
HAVE IT, IT CAUSES HIM GREATER TORMENT'...