Transactional Analysis

Introduction:

Transactional Analysis
Transactional analysis is a social psychology
developed by Eric Berne, MD (d.1970). (Click
here for a biography of Eric Berne.) Over the
past four decades Eric Berne's theory has
evolved to include applications to
psychotherapy, counseling, education, and
organizational development. (Also see Key
Ideas in Transactional Analysis.)
Psychotherapy
Transactional analysis is a powerful tool to bring about
human well being. In psychotherapy, transactional
analysis utilizes a contract for specific changes desired
by the client and involves the "Adult" in both the client
and the clinician to sort out behaviors, emotions and
thoughts that prevent the development of full human
potential. Transactional analysts intervene as they work
with clients in a safe, protective, mutually respectful-
OK/OK--- environment to eliminate dysfunctional
behaviors and establish and reinforce positive
relationship styles and healthy functioning.
Transactional analysts are able to use the many tools of
psychotherapy, ranging from psychodynamic to
cognitive behavioral methods in effective and potent
ways. Examples of transactional analysis
psychotherapy can bee seen in our Master Therapists
series, the Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson Couples
Therapy Videotapes and the Carlo Moiso-Isabelle
Crespelle DVD. (See our Products page.)
Counseling
Counselors who utilize transactional analysis work
contractually on solving "here and now" problems.
Counseling work focuses on creating productive
problem solving behaviors. Using transactional
analysis, counselor's establish an egalitarian, safe and
mutually respectful working relationship with their
clients. This working relationship provides tools clients
can utilize in their day-to-day functions to improve the
quality of their lives.
Educational
Transactional Analysis is a practical educational
psychology that offers a way of transforming
educational philosophy and principles into everyday
practice. TA concepts provide a flexible and creative
approach to understanding how people function and to
the connections between human behaviour, learning
and education. Teaching them to both teachers and
students is a process of empowerment, enhancing
effective methods of interaction and mutual
recognition.
Educational TA is both preventive and restorative. TA
concepts are developed and used with people of all
ages and stages of development in their various social
settings. The aim is to increase personal autonomy, to
support people in developing their own personal and
professional philosophies and to enable optimum
psychological health and growth.
The key philosophical concepts that underpin
Educational TA are:
• Effective educators offer empathic acceptance of
all human beings as people together with respect
for their dignity. These qualities are at the heart of
successful learning relationships.
• People at any age and stage can learn to take
responsibility for their own decisions and actions.
 • Educational difficulties can be addressed
effectively with co-operative goodwill and a
coherent theoretical framework that makes sense
of the human dynamics involved.
The process of educational TA is contractual, so that all
parties know where they stand, and what agreements
have been made for what purposes. Throughout the
process the ideas and methods of TA are used openly
to promote informed co-operation and the sharing of
power between all parties.
TA can be used to address important issues in:
• initial and continuing teacher education
• institutional climate and culture
• developmental and educational needs
• self esteem building
• parent education
• student motivation
• staff morale and teacher well-being
• blocks to learning and teaching
• behaviour management
Above all educational TA is invaluable in helping people
to thrive and in promoting healthy and effective
learning in a wide variety of contexts.
Organizational
Transactional Analysis is a powerful tool in the hands of
organizational development specialists. Through
presenting the basic concepts of transactional analysis
and using it as the basic theory to undergird the
objectives of their clients, organizational development
specialists build a common strategy with which to
address the particular needs of organizations and to
build a functional relationship, as well as eliminate
dysfunctional organizational behaviors.
Transactional analysis is a theory of personality and a
systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and
personal change that was developed by Eric Berne,
M.D. Among psychological approaches, it is outstanding
in the depth of its theory and the wide variety of its
applications. Transactional Analysis is practiced
worldwide and has national organizations for training
and certification in most countries.

As a theory of personality, transactional analysis gives

us a picture of how people are structured
psychologically using the three part ego-state model.
Transactional analysis also provides a theory of
communication that can be extended to analyze
systems and organizations. Transactional analysis
further offers a theory of human development. The
concept of life script explains how our present life
patterns originated in childhood. The concepts of
Rackets and Games provide explanations of how we
may continue to replay childhood strategies in grown-
up life, even when these produce results that are
ultimately self-defeating or painful. Transactional
analysis provides a complete theory of
psychopathology, diagnosis, and treatment.

In the area of applications, transactional analysis offers

a system of psychotherapy that can be used with
individuals, groups, couples, and families to treat all
types of psychological disorders, from everyday
problems of living to severe psychosis. It is also used in
educational settings to help teachers and learners stay
in clear communication and avoid setting up
unproductive confrontation, It is further used in
management, communications training, and
organizational analysis to improve working
relationships, problem-solving, and organizational
efficiency. In fact, transactional analysis can used in
any field in which there is a need for understanding
individuals, relationships, and communication. It is one
of the clearest conceptual frameworks for
understanding psychological issues and how those can
be changed.

The Philosophy of Transactional Analysis

The philosophical assumptions of transactional analysis

are :

1. People are okay. This is a statement of essence

rather than behavior. It means that each of us has
worth, value, and dignity as a human being and
deserves to be treated accordingly.
2. Everyone has the capacity to think.
 3. People decide their own destiny in making early
script decisions and these decisions can be
changed.

From these assumptions follow two basic principles of

transactional analysis practice:

1. The use of contracts to provide mutual

collaboration and joint responsibility in the
therapeutic or consulting process.
2. The use of open communication so that the client
and the practitioner both have full information
about what is going on at each step in their work
together.

The Goal of Transactional Analysis

The goal of transactional analysis is the achievement of

autonomy through updating the strategies for dealing
with life that we decided on in childhood. Autonomy is
defined as awareness, spontaneity, and the capacity for
intimacy.

transactional analysis - life positions

Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others,

which are used to justify decisions and behaviour.

When we are conceived we are hopefully at peace,

waiting to emerge into the world once we have grown
sufficiently to be able to survive in the outside of the
womb. If nothing untoward happens we will emerge
contented and relaxed. In this case we are likely to
perceive the world from the perspective of I am OK and
You are OK.

However, perhaps our mother had some traumatic

experiences, or the birth was difficult or even life
threatening. This experience is likely to have an effect
on the way we experience the world, even at the
somatic level. In which case we might emerge sensing
that life is scary and might, for example, go into "I am
not OK and You are not OK either".

Let's take it that the pregnancy went fine, and the birth
was easy enough. What then? Well life experiences
might reinforce our initial somatic level life position, or
contradict it. If we were treated punitively, talked down
to, and not held, we may begin to believe "I am not OK
and You are OK". This might be the only sense we can
make of our experiences.

Let's take another situation. Perhaps we were picked on

and bullied as a child. We learnt that the way to get by
was to bully others and that way we felt stronger and in
control. Our behaviour then comes into the I am OK and
You are not OK quadrant. Of course this may cover up
our belief that we are really not OK, but nobody sees
that. They just see our behaviour, and in fact we may
have forgotten all about our negative feelings about
ourselves as we have tried so hard to deny the pain of
believing we are not OK.

These life positions are perceptions of the world. The

reality is I just am and you just are, therefore how I
view myself and others are just that "views" not fact.
However, we tend to act as if they are a fact. Just like
when somebody says "I can't do this, I'm useless".
Rather than "I don't know how to do this. Will you show
me?" The latter is staying with the fact that they do not
yet know how to do it, whilst the former links being
useless with not being able to do something.

There are a number of ways of diagramming the life

positions. Franklin Ernst drew the life positions in
quadrants, which he called the OK Corral (1971). We
have put these into red and green to show the effective
and ineffective quadrants for communication and
healthy relationships. By shading in the quadrants
according to the amount of time we think we spend in
each we can get an idea of the amount of time we
spend in each. Ernst used the term 'Corralogram' for
this method of self-assessment using the OK Corral
matrix.

the ok corral (franklin ernst, 1971)

Berne talked about the life positions as existential
positions, one of which we are more likely to go to
under stress. This is significantly different to the
concept Ernst uses, i.e. that we move around them all
during the day. Whilst there is some truth in this we
could agree with Berne that there will be one major
position we go into under stress, with perhaps another
position underneath this one. These positions can
change as we develop and grow. The difference
between Berne and Ernst is important.

Chris Davidson (1999) writes about the three

dimensional model of Okayness. All of the previous
diagrams talk as if there were only one other person in
the equation, when in reality there are often more. For
example, the behaviour of young people in gangs may
say that they believe they are okay and perhaps other
gangs in their neighbourhood are okay, but an
individual or gang from another neighbourhood are not
okay. We often do this at work as well. We find other
people who we like and then we gossip and put other
people down. We are therefore saying that we believe
we are okay but those others are awful (underneath
this there may be a belief that we are not okay either
but we feel better by putting someone else down). In
this way the two dimensional model of okayness i.e.
that there are only two people involved, becomes three
dimensional model where there can be three or more
involved.

There is also the way in which we view life itself. If we

consider that there is something wrong with us, and
that others are not to be trusted and are not OK either,
then the world would be a scary place and we are likely
to experience life as tough and believe we will only be
all right if we keep alert and on the look out for danger
and difficulties.

blame model

The Transactional Analysis 'Okay Corral' can be linked

to 'blame', for which Jim Davis TSTA developed this
simple and helpful model. Commonly when emotions
are triggered people adopt one of three attitudes
relating to blame, which each correlate to a position on
the Okay Corral:

• I'm to blame (You are okay and I'm not okay -

'helpless')
• You are to blame (I'm okay and you are not okay -
'angry')
• We are both to blame (I'm not okay and you are
not okay - 'hopeless')

None of these is a healthy position.

Instead the healthy position is, and the mindset should

be: "It's no-one's fault, blame isn't the issue - what
matters is how we go forward and sort things out." (I'm
okay and you are okay - 'happy')

Berne defined three basic personalities or Ego States,

each with characteristic attitudes, feelings, behaviours
and language. Two of the states subdivide into two
further facets:

PARENT Critical makes rules and sets limits

Parent disciplines, judges and
criticises
 Nurturing advises and guides
Parent protects and nurtures
concerned with data and facts
considers options and
estimates probabilities
ADULT
makes unemotional decisions
plans and makes things
happen
Free
fun-loving and energetic
(Natural)
creative and spontaneous
CHILD Child
Adapted compliant and polite
Child rebellious and manipulative

2. LIFE POSITIONS

The other building block of TA is the view we have of

ourselves in relation to other people around us. There
are four life positions, shown as a grid that became
known as the "OK Corral". The quotation in each box
typifies the attitude of each Life Position:

I'M NOT OK I'M OK

YOU'RE OK YOU'RE OK

"I wish I "Hey, we're

could do that making good
as well as progress
you do" now"
I'M NOT OK I'M OK
YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT
OK OK

"Oh this is "You're not

 terrible - we'll doing that
never make right - let me
it" show you"

People will move around the grid depending on the

situation, but have a preferred position that they tend
to revert to. This is strongly influenced by experiences
and decisions in early life.

"I'm OK, you're OK" people are in the 'get on with'

position. They're confident and happy about life and
work, and interact by collaboration and mutual respect,
even when they disagree.

I'm OK, you're not OK" people are in the 'get rid of'
position. They tend to get angry and hostile, and are
smug and superior. They belittle others, who they view
as incompetent and untrustworthy, and are often
competitive and power-hungry.

I'm not OK, you're OK" is the 'get away from' position.
These people feel sad, inadequate or even stupid in
comparison to others. They undervalue their skills and
contribution and withdraw from problems.

I'm not OK, you're not OK" is the 'get nowhere'

position. These people feel confused or aimless. They
don't see the point of doing anything, and so usually
don't bother.

Ego states
The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) model

At any given time, a person experiences and manifests

their personality through a mixture of behaviours,
thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there
are three ego-states that people consistently use:

• Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which

people behave, feel, and think in response to an
unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or
other parental figures) acted, or how they
interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a
person may shout at someone out of frustration
because they learned from an influential figure in
childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way
of relating that worked.
• Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is
most like a computer processing information and
making predictions absent of major emotions that
could affect its operation. Learning to strengthen
the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the
Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an
objective appraisal of reality.
• Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which
people behave, feel and think similarly to how they
did in childhood. For example, a person who
receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by
looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they
used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a
person who receives a good evaluation may
respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of
thanks. The Child is the source of emotions,
creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.

Berne differentiated his Parent, Adult, and Child ego

states from actual adults, parents, and children, by
using capital letters when describing them. These ego-
states may or may not represent the relationships that
they act out. For example, in the workplace, an adult
supervisor may take on the Parent role, and scold an
adult employee as though they were a Child. Or a child,
using their Parent ego-state, could scold their actual
parent as though the parent were a Child.

Within each of these ego states are subdivisions. Thus

Parental figures are often either more nurturing
(permission-giving, security-giving) or more criticizing
(comparing to family traditions and ideals in generally
negative ways); Childhood behaviours are either more
natural (free) or more adapted to others. These
subdivision categorize individuals' patterns of
behaviour, feelings, and ways of thinking, that can be
functional (beneficial or positive) or
dysfunctional/counterproductive (negative).

Berne states that there are four types of diagnosis of

ego states. They are the behavioural diagnosis, social
diagnosis, historical diagnosis and the
phenomenological diagnosis of ego states. For a
complete diagnosis one needs to complete all four
types. It has been subsequently demonstrated that
there is in fact a fifth way of diagnosis. It is known as
the contextual diagnosis of ego states

Parent ego state

This is a set of feelings, thinking and behaviour that we

have copied from our parents and significant others.

As we grow up we take in ideas, beliefs, feelings and

behaviours from our parents and caretakers. If we live
in an extended family then there are more people to
learn and take in from. When we do this, it is called
introjecting and it is just as if we take in the whole of
the care giver. For example, we may notice that we are
saying things just as our father, mother, grandmother
may have done, even though, consciously, we don't
want to. We do this as we have lived with this person so
long that we automatically reproduce certain things
that were said to us, or treat others as we might have
been treated.

Adult ego state

The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the

here and now. We deal with things that are going on
today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our
past.

The Adult ego state is about being spontaneous and

aware with the capacity for intimacy. When in our Adult
we are able to see people as they are, rather than what
we project onto them. We ask for information rather
than stay scared and rather than make assumptions.
Taking the best from the past and using it appropriately
in the present is an integration of the positive aspects
of both our Parent and Child ego states. So this can be
called the Integrating Adult. Integrating means that we
are constantly updating ourselves through our every
day experiences and using this to inform us.

In this structural model, the Integrating Adult ego state

circle is placed in the middle to show how it needs to
orchestrate between the Parent and the Child ego
states. For example, the internal Parent ego state may
beat up on the internal Child, saying "You are no good,
look at what you did wrong again, you are useless". The
Child may then respond with "I am no good, look how
useless I am, I never get anything right". Many people
hardly hear this kind of internal dialogue as it goes on
so much they might just believe life is this way. An
effective Integrating Adult ego state can intervene
between the Parent and Child ego states. This might be
done by stating that this kind of parenting is not helpful
and asking if it is prepared to learn another way.
Alternatively, the Integrating Adult ego state can just
stop any negative dialogue and decide to develop
another positive Parent ego state perhaps taken in from
other people they have met over the years.

Child ego state

The Child ego state is a set of behaviours, thoughts and

feelings which are replayed from our own childhood.

Perhaps the boss calls us into his or her office, we may

immediately get a churning in our stomach and wonder
what we have done wrong. If this were explored we
might remember the time the head teacher called us in
to tell us off. Of course, not everything in the Child ego
state is negative. We might go into someone's house
and smell a lovely smell and remember our
grandmother's house when we were little, and all the
same warm feelings we had at six year's of age may
come flooding back.

Both the Parent and Child ego states are constantly

being updated. For example, we may meet someone
who gives us the permission we needed as a child, and
did not get, to be fun and joyous. We may well use that
person in our imagination when we are stressed to
counteract our old ways of thinking that we must work
longer and longer hours to keep up with everything. We
might ask ourselves "I wonder what X would say now".
Then on hearing the new permissions to relax and take
some time out, do just that and then return to the work
renewed and ready for the challenge. Subsequently,
rather than beating up on ourselves for what we did or
did not do, what tends to happen is we automatically
start to give ourselves new permissions and take care
of ourselves.

Alternatively, we might have had a traumatic

experience yesterday which goes into the Child ego
state as an archaic memory that hampers our growth.
Positive experiences will also go into the Child ego
state as archaic memories. The positive experiences
can then be drawn on to remind us that positive things
do happen.

The process of analysing personality in terms of ego

states is called structural analysis. It is important to
remember that ego states do not have an existence of
their own, they are concepts to enable understanding.
Therefore it is important to say "I want some fun"
rather than "My Child wants some fun". We may be in
our Child ego state when we say this, but saying "I"
reminds us to take responsibility for our actions

Complementary transactions occur when both people

are at the same level. Thus Parent talking to Parent,
etc. Here, both are often thinking in the same way
and communication is easy. Problems usually occur in
Crossed transactions, where the other person is at a
different level.
The parent is either nurturing or controlling, and often
speaks to the child, who is either adaptive or ‘natural’
in their response. When both people talk as a Parent
to the other’s Child, their wires get crossed and
conflict results.
The ideal line of communication is the mature and
rational Adult-Adult relationship
Ulterior Transactions

Ulterior, or hidden, transactions occur when the words

seem to be coming from one ago state, but in reality
the words or behaviors are coming from another. For
example, after a training program, one of the
participants came up to a consultant asking advice on
an adult ego sate. When the consultant gave advice,
the participant twice had quick responses as to why the
advice would not work (child rather than adult
behavior). The consultant realized that what the
participant actually wanted was sympathetic
understanding for his situation, not advice. The
consultant stopped making suggestions and listened
actively, using reflective responses. The consultant
changed from the adult to the sympathetic parent ego
state in order to have a complimentary transaction.
Sometimes people don’t know what they want or how
to ask for it in a direct way, so they use ulterior
transactions. When possible, it is best to avoid ulterior
transactions because they tend to waste time. Avoid
making people search for your hidden meanings. Plan
your message before you send it. When receiving
messages look for ulterior transactions and turn them
into complimentary transactions, as stated above.

transactional analysis - strokes

In Transactional Analysis we call compliments and

general ways of giving recognition strokes. This name
came from research which indicated that babies require
touching in order to survive and grow. It apparently
makes no difference whether the touching induces pain
or pleasure - it is still important. On the whole we prefer
to receive negative strokes than no strokes at all, at
least that way we know we exist and others know we
exist.
We all have particular strokes we will accept and those
we will reject. For example, if we have always been told
we are clever, and our brother is creative, then we are
likely to accept strokes for being clever, but not for
being creative. From this frame of reference only one
person in the family can be the creative one and so on.

Stroking can be physical, verbal or nonverbal. It is likely

that the great variety of stroke needs and styles
present in the world results from differences in wealth,
cultural mores, and methods of parenting.

the stroke economy

Claude Steiner suggests that, as children, we are all

indoctrinated by our parents with five restrictive rules
about stroking.

• don't give strokes when we have them to give

• don't ask for strokes when we need them
• don't accept strokes if we want them
• don't reject strokes when we don't want them
• don't give ourselves strokes

Together these five rules are the basis of what Steiner

calls the stroke economy. By training children to obey
these rules, says Steiner, parents ensure that ".. a
situation in which strokes could be available in a
limitless supply is transformed into a situation in which
the supply is low and the price parents can extract for
them is high."

We therefore need to change the restrictive rules to

unrestrictive ones:
• give strokes when we have them to give
• ask for strokes when we want them
• accept strokes if we want them
• reject manipulative strokes
• give ourselves positive strokes

Strokes can be positive or negative:

• A) "I like you"

• B) "I don't like you"

Strokes can be unconditional or conditional. An

unconditional stroke is a stroke for being whereas a
conditional stroke is a stroke for doing. For instance:

"I like you" - unconditional

"I like you when you smile" - conditional

As negative strokes these might be:

"I don't like you" - negative unconditional

"I don't like you when you're sarcastic" - negative

conditional

People often have a stroke filter. They only let in

strokes which they think they are allowed to let in. For
instance they allow themselves to receive strokes for
being clever and keep out strokes for being good
looking. One way to think about this to consider being
out in the rain. The rain is the strokes that are available
to us, both positive and negative. There is a hole in the
umbrella and some of the strokes go through and we
save them in a bucket to enjoy in lean times.
Conversely we might use them negatively to reinforce
the negative strokes we give to ourselves. Of course,
some just bounce off the umbrella and we might not
accept the good strokes that are coming our way. Some
might come in but fall straight onto the floor

transactional analysis - time structuring

The way in which we structure time is likely to reflect

the different hungers. We all structure time in a variety
of ways:

• Withdrawal
• Rituals
• Pastiming
• Activities
• Games
• Intimacy

Obtaining balance means ensuring that we have

sufficient time for play and intimacy and if this does not
occur then it would be beneficial to explore what we
might be avoiding.

transactional analysis - games

I am sure that every one of us must have been in the

situation where we have said, "Why does this always
keep happening to me" or "I always keep meeting
people who hurt me and then go off and leave me".
Sometimes it may be that we like to help people and
then it goes wrong as the person we were trying to help
says that we didn't do it well enough and that we got it
wrong. We might think "Well, I was only trying to help"
and feel got at.
When similar situations keep happening over and over
again then the term Transactional Analysis uses for this
is a game. A game is a familiar pattern of behaviour
with a predictable outcome. Games are played outside
Adult awareness and they are our best attempt to get
our needs met - although of course we don't.

Games are learned patterns of behaviour, and most

people play a small number of favourite games with a
range of different people and in varying intensities.

First Degree games are played in social circles

generally lead to mild upsets not major traumas.

Second Degree games occur when the stakes may be

higher. This usually occurs in more intimate circles, and
ends up with an even greater negative payoff.

Third Degree games involve tissue damage and may

end up in the jail, hospital or morgue.

Chris Davidson (2002) has argued that world politics

can involve fourth degree games - where the outcomes
involve whole communities, countries or even the
world.

Games vary in the length of time that passes while they

are being played. Some can take seconds or minutes
while others take weeks months or even years. People
play games for these reasons:

• to structure time
• to acquire strokes
• to maintain the substitute feeling and the system
of thinking, beliefs and actions that go with it
• to confirm parental injunctions and further the life
script
• to maintain the person's life position by "proving"
that self/others are not OK
• to provide a high level of stroke exchange while
blocking intimacy and maintaining distance
• to make people predictable.

ways to deal with games

There are various ways to stop a game, including the

use of different options than the one automatically
used. We can:

• cross the transaction by responding from a

different ego state than the one the stimulus is
designed to hook.
• pick up the ulterior rather than the social message
e.g. when a person says "I can't do this, I'm useless".
Rather than saying, "Let me do this for you," instead
say, "It sounds like you have a problem. What do you
want me to do about it?" (said from the Adult ego
state)
• the opening message to the game always entails a
discount. There are further discounts at each stage of
the game. By detecting discounts we can identify
game invitations and defuse them with options. (A
discount is when we minimise, maximise or ignore
some aspect of a problem which would assist us in
resolving it. Such as saying in a whiny voice "This is
too difficult for me to do", so we automatically help
them).
• replace the game strokes. Loss of strokes to the
Child ego state means a threat to survival. We get a
great many strokes from games, even if they are
negative. However, if we don't obtain sufficient
positive strokes, or give ourselves positive strokes, we
will go for quantity rather than quality of strokes and
play games to get them. This loss of strokes is also a
loss of excitement that the game has generated.

Another way to think about this is to consider the game

role we or the other person is likely to take. One way to
discover this is to ask the following questions:

1. What keeps happening over and over again

2. How does it start?

3. What happens next?

4. And then what happens?

5. How does it end?

6. How do feel after it ends? (John James, 1973)

We can then consider the reason we might have taken

up a particular role, where we might switch to, and
then consider how to do things differently. We need to
consider what our own responsibility is in this - if the
situation is too violent for us to get involved what
options to we have? We could call for help, get others
to come with us to intervene and so on. We need to
choose the appropriate assistance and take the action
required.

The drama triangle is a psychological and social

model of human interaction in transactional analysis
(TA) first described by Stephen Karpman, which is used
in psychology and psychotherapy.[1] [2]

The model posits three habitual psychological roles (or

roleplays) which people often take in a situation:
 • The person who is treated as, or accepts
the role of, a victim
• The person who pressures, coerces or
persecutes the victim, and
• The rescuer, who intervenes out of an
ostensible wish to help the situation or the
underdog.

(Note that the rescuer role is one of a mixed or covert

motive, not an honest rescuer in an emergency; see
below)

As the drama plays out, people may suddenly switch

roles, or change tactics, and others will often switch
unconsciously to match this. For example, the victim
turns on the rescuer, or the rescuer switches to
persecuting.

PERSECUTOR - "It's All Your Fault"

• Sets strict limits unnecessarily.

• Blames
• Criticizes
• Keeps Victim oppressed
• Is mobilized by anger
• Rigid, authoritative stance
• "Critical" Parent

TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO CLEAR

STRUCTURE

VICTIM - "Poor Me"

• Feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless,

powerless, ashamed
• Looks for a Rescuer that will perpetuate their
negative feelings.
 • If stays in Victim position, will block self from
making decisions, solving problems, pleasure and
self-understanding.
• "Dejected" stance.

TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO PROBLEM

SOLVING

RESCUER - "Let Me Help You"

• Rescues when really doesn't want to.

• Feels guilty if doesn't rescue.
• Keeps victim dependent.
• Gives permission to fail.
• Expects to fail in rescue attempts.
• "Marshmallow" Parent

TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO CLEAR

NURTURING

The winner’s triangle

There’s a way out of the drama triangle and it’s called

the winner’s triangle. First you need to be aware and
recognize which role(s) you play in life. Be conscious
what your behavior is towards others and how you can
assist them in becoming more independent, instead of
making them dependent on you.
Instead of being the persecutor you can become more
assertive. Transform victimhood into vulnerability and
take responsibility for your own life. And once you stop
being the rescuer you can become caring towards
others, helping other only when they ask for it, making
sure they can stand on their own two feet knowing
everyone is responsible for their own happiness.
Sometimes the best help you can offer is to do nothing.

The script is a life plan, made when we are growing up.

It is like having the script of a play in front of us - we
read the lines and decide what will happen in each act
and how the play will end. The script is developed from
our early decisions based upon our life experience. We
may not realise that we have set ourselves a plan but
we can often find this out if we ask ourselves what our
favorite childhood story was, who was our favorite
character in the story and who do we identify with.
Then consider the beginning, middle and end of the
story. How is this story reflected in our life today?
Another way of getting to what script is may be to think
about what we believe will happen when we are in old
age. Do we believe we will be alive at 80 or 90 years
old, be healthy, happy, and contented? What do we
think will be on the headstone for our grave? What
would we like to be on it?
Life script is another major theoretical concept within
transactional analysis. Basically, life script is the idea
that we tend to have an unconscious life plan - like a
story - that we make up as children about ourselves
and our lives, which we tend to keep to and follow
even when we are adults. In other words, life script is
a personal life plan developed under parental,
familial, social, cultural and religious pressure. It is
mostly complete by the age of seven.
These script decisions are made in response to family
and cultural messages but based on the child's very
limited information and reality processing skills. Such a
decision becomes an emotionally laden commitment to
live in a certain wayThis "certain way" becomes an
unconscious life plan or a narrative, a story that we tell
ourselves about what's possible for usIt might mean we
don't take up opportunities even if they are there,
because they are outside our script