WORKPAPER - 3

PATIENCE

Many alcoholics and addicts lack patience. Sober living does not come overnight. Sobriety might.
Being dry is simple. You simply stop drinking/using drugs. Being sober takes practice and
patience. Sober living is the daily practice of thoughts and actions which, when performed, add up
to well adjusted living. It requires patience, the patience to live soberly everyday - day in and day
out.

People who are impatient with themselves have an irrational idea. That ‘things should come to me
simply and quickly. If things don’t come simply and quickly, they are not worth having.’ Sober
living doesn’t come simply or quickly. It will come steadily. There will be days when it is rewarding
and days when sober living will not seem worth it. The most important quality that you must
develop is the ability to take one day at a time. You must tolerate the frustration of
practicing one thing day in and day out.

When you become impatient you feel physically uneasy. Frequently, this starts with twitching or
slight sweating. Ordinarily, you can feel yourself becoming impatient. Remember, impatience is
irrational. It stems from the misguided belief that everything should come simply and easily after
you decide to quit drinking/using drugs. This kind of thinking allows impatience to grow until you
impulsively do something you will regret later.

Patience does not mean laziness or avoidance of what you have to do. Patience is the ability to do
now what can be done now, and to do later what should be done later. Being patient does not
mean you ignore all your other problems. Patience is the ability to deal with your
alcoholism/addiction one day at a time and also at the same time to deal with your other
problems.

How has alcoholism/addiction made a mess of your life? Be specific on how when, where and why,
write in your notebook.

Occasionally, when you look at your problems you may become depressed. On the other hand,
you may experience a sense of relief on identifying your problems. It may feel as if you are
getting something off your chest. Now that you identified some problems in your life and
set some goals to solve these problems, how do you feel?

1. Write down how you feel after you have done someone a favor? What did you do
for the person?

2. Do you like the feeling of being able to give to another person? Describe this
feeling.

3. How do you feel when you try to be patient? Is this a good feeling?

WHAT ARE YOUR CHOICES?

If a person decides he is an alcoholic/addict, what choices does he have? Essentially there are
only two options: to drink or not to drink alcohol or use drugs.

If an alcoholic/addict chooses to return to drinking/using drugs he should first consider the

consequences. You always have the option and no one can take it away from you. It is a fact that
alcoholics and addicts do not want to stop but they need to stop.
WHAT YOU WANT VERSUS WHAT YOU NEED

This is a personal battle for many. It is the heart of the problem. Alcoholism/ addiction is a form
of self-indulgence. Think of it this way. You need to work support yourself. You want to stay and
drink/use drugs all night. This typifies the contradiction between what you want versus what u
need. You want to spend money on something new, but you need to pay your bills. The whole
battle of mature adult living is the battle of doing what you need to do versus what you
want to do.

Do you want to stay sober? Probably not. Do you need to stay sober for your job, health,
marriage and yourself? Most probably, yes. What are your choices now that you are sober? They
remain the same: to drink or not to drink - to use or not to use chemical drugs. Even if you
choose to drink or not to use drugs, you still have to ask yourself if you can accept the
consequences of a return to drinking to the use of drugs. Do so only when you know exactly what
you are doing and what the probable consequences will be for you. If you choose to
drinking/using drugs, do not lie to yourself, or pretend that you can avoid the consequences.

What if you choose not to drink/use drugs? If you choose to stay sober, you must have good
reason for your sobriety. What are your reasons for choosing sobriety? What are your reasons for
choosing sober living? All too often the decision to stay sober is made on the basis of temporary
conditions (sickness or trouble). If you ‘choose to quit’ and to begin sober living, it will work
only if your decision is based on reasons that will carry you through. A common reason to
choose sober living is this: ‘I want more out of life’. The individual with this basis for sobriety can
sober up and set out to achieve what he or she wants.

1. In 2/3 sentences describe the point of today’s reading.

2. How does today’s reading pertain to you? Give at least two reasons.

3. Can you put to work in your life something you learned today? Write down
how you can apply today’s reading to your life.