DELTA FRIDAY PM- Hairspray Script

Tracy: (still dancing) Penny! I can’t wait till I can be on the Corny Collins show!
It’s so groovy.
Penny: Holy Moly Tracy, how many times? Only the ‘cool’ kids are allowed on
the Corny Collins show, not, well, I mean, you’re totally hip in your own way
but . . .
Tracy: erm . . . thanks Penny? Anyway I’ve seen an advert for auditions! Lou
– Ann, y’know, the one with the ‘do? She’s announced she can’t be on the
show, taking 9 months leave or something.
Penny: Huh, I wonder why?
Both Shrug moments silence
Tracy: Soooo . . I’m totally gonna audition! I mean, I can dance so much
better than Amber. Cant I? Penny nods head after a pause. Annnnnd link
might even look at me!!!!
Both squeal
I can see it now, Pen. I’ll wake up and the whole of Baltimore will just wait until
4o clock when they see me. I’ll practice everyday. I’ll be the coolest girl in
school. So hip and. . . (oh oh oh)

Good morning Baltimore

Penny: C’mon Tracy, we’re gonna be late for class.

School bell rings. Edna comes on stage

Edna: Tracy. Tracy? TRACY! Where is that girl?

Penny’s mum comes onstage

Penny’s mum: Edna, I’m here for my usual ironing.

Edna: that will be 3 dollars.
Penny’s mum: That’s pretty pricy for a pair of petty pants
Edna: Well I’m sorry prudy but some of your stains need pounding with a rock.
Anyway any idea where Tracy’s gone?
Penny’s mum: No idea Edna. You know, you’ve got the devil child there. I saw
her the other day, with her hair up to here, waving to the local flasher,
cavorting around. I tell you, your gonna have to be careful.
Edna: I guess. Where’s Penny
Penny’s mum: At home reading
Edna: hmm, that’s strange, cos isn’t that them trying to sneak out?
Tracy and Penny come out from hiding place ( gate at foot of stage) and
stand at he front, facing the audience).
Tracy: But Moooom, I’m going to audition for the corny Collins show
Parents gasp

Penny: Hi mom.

Penny’s mum: You, young lady are supposed to be at home reciting! Penny
Pingleton, you know you were punished. From now on, you're wearing a giant
""P"" on your blouse...every day to school...so that the whole world knows that
Penny Pingleton...is permanently, positively punished!

Come on (pulls Penny away, and whilst turning back shouts)

Silence. Tracy and Edna look confused for a moment

Edna: Tracy you know I’ve forbidden you to go near that studio, never mind
audition to be on the show. I don’t know what’s got into you. First the clothes,
then the hair. . .
Tracy is mouthing her mother’s words in a mocking way

Tracy: Oh, mother, you're so fifties.

Amber, link and friends come onstage

Amber: Hey, how’s it going? Wonder what losers are gonna audition.
Remember last year?

All laugh

Amber’s friend: That girl could totally not boogie. I mean, she tripped when
she done the mashed potato

Amber: Could be because someone pushed her

All laugh

She was such a ho. . .

Link comes forward

Ly moly baby. Great dancing today

Link: Thanks doll.

Ambers mum enters: Okay everyone, get in line.

Miss Baltimore crabs

Penny: I think they secretly liked you

Link comes on and bumps into Tracy.

Link: Sorry lil darling. Hope I didn’t dent your do’.

Tracy just stares, while Penny tries to get her to respond

Link: Ok, well. I saw you dancing the other day. You’re awesome. If Corny
saw you dancing like that he would defiantly put you on the show.
Tracy: Well no chance of that now

Link: Bad luck chick. Hey, how about you come and boogie down tonight. It’s
an open night. Hope to see you there.

Link exits. Tracy ‘faints’ onto Penny.

Tracy: Invited places by cool people

Penny: We are so hip!

Both run off.

Penny runs up in the isle

Penny: MR AND MRS TUUUUURNBLAAAACK!

Wilbur: Who died?

Edna: What’s digging?

Penny: (Out of breath) Just watch, Just watch

Roll call with Tracy at the end

Penny, Edna and Wilbur all scream

Edna: My little girl!! A regular on the wide screen

Wilbur: Are you for real?

Penny: Listen listen!!!!

Corny interviews Tracy- music CORNEY COLLINS SHOW

Corny: So trace, tell us a bit about yourself.

Tracy: Well I watch the Corny Collins show, and do absolutely nothing else

Corny laughs

Corny: And a little bird told me you have a blast of a dream?

Tracy: Well, I would love to win Miss Teenage Hairspray!

Amber to Corny
Amber: But that’s my title

Corny laughs it off

Corny: And what would you do with the show?

Tracy: Ummm . . . I know. . . I’d make everyday Cheesy Day!!

Corny: You’re dream could come true very quickly because Miss Teenage
Hairspray is in one month only!!

Amber: You have to vote for a person, Corny not one of the Himalayas

Corny: Ever the charmer Amber.

Amber screams slightly and three girls appear behind her

Phone rings

Edna: Hello? Mr Pinky? . . . No. . . Seriously?. . . That’s awesome!

Phone down

TRACY! Guess what?

Tracy: What?

Edna: Mr Pinky’s just called from his Hefty Hideaway . . . and he wants YOU!

Tracy: Really?

Edna: He rang asking for your agent

Tracy: Well, why don’t you be my agent? I mean, whose gonna look out for
me better than my own mom?

Edna: Oh Tracy I can’t be your agent looking like this! I know, I’ll do it after my
next diet. That’s when I’ll do it.

Tracy: Oh come on! Times are changing out there! People who are different/
It’s their time I mean look at me!

Mama Welcome to the Sixties

Everyone exits

Curtains close. Then open with Tracy still running

Link: Hey Tracy, you were so cool at the showdown the other day.
Tracy: Really???

Link: Yeah.

Tracy: sighs and melts

Amber enters

Amber: Hey cutie. Have you taken up mountain climbing? Cos there’s a pretty
big one next to you

Tracy exits

Link: At least that mountain is not as big as the one you’ve got to climb to be
a better dancer!

Amber: But baby. . .

Link: NO

Amber tosses her hair and sulks off. Others follow

Tracy stays onstage

Amber enters with friends

Amber: You may have stolen Link, but you’ll never steal my title.

Amber turns to the audience

Miss. Teenage. Hairspray. !958, 1959, 1960 and 1961

Tracy: We’ll just see about that Amber. See you at the show.

(It’s) Hairspray

Corny: And now, it’s my obligation Amber playfully hits him time to announce
the winner of Miss Teenage Hairspray of 1962. . . .

Silence

It’s so close

But Miss Teenage Hairspray is . . . . Amber VonTussle

Tracy: Is about to be out danced

You Can’t Stop the Beat -Finale