Text From Victor Borge’s Phonetic Punctuation

Then in 1940 I luckily arrived in the United States unable to speak a word of
English, which I found to be a handicap since most people over here do.

And I tried to learn the language as best I could and as time went along I
picked up a few words here and there… mostly there cause I hadn’t been
here yet.

But I found that people who speak English sometimes do not understand
each other to well due to the fact that they do not use punctuation marks
when they talk, and that is why I invented phonetic punctuation.

Which means that while we talk we will integrate punctuation marks by

giving them sounds so that we can underline our sentences as well when we
speak as when we read and or write.

I’ll teach you the system…

A period sounds like this.. putt.

Here is a dash
An explanation mark is a vertical dash with a period underneath.
Here is a comma
Quotation is two commas… If you happen to be left handed..
A question mark is rather difficult…
Finally the colon, two little dots you can have them either over or under each
other… that is the sound of the colon.

I have a book here and I’m going to read a short story so you can hear how
the system really sounds.

This book was written by shakesphere… Johanne Sebastian Shakesphere

This is a pick pocket edition by the way….

I have a short story right here in the beginning of the book (turn many pages)
…. Hum..

Ah here it is on page two.

In the open window there suddenly came light.

Beautiful Eleanor sat alone dreaming of but one thing!
Two years had passed, since she met Sir Henry.

She could still remember the unhappy evening, when her father had thrown
him out.

They had been sitting in the park and Henry had said: “Darling! Is this the
first time you have loved?”

She answered, “Yes – but it is wonderful, and I hope it will not be the last!”
– Its getting a little messy (clean book)

Suddenly she heard a well known sound. It was he.

In two strides he was near her, embraced, kissed and caressed her.

:”Henry! What is love?” she asked.

He answered, “Well, I couldn’t live without it!” - ……..

She asked, “Where have all your thoughts been this while?”

He answered, “With thee, my maiden:::.”

Suddenly he was gone. And all she hoird (heard) was the familiar sound of
his departing horse (no period)