Tao Of Stevie

Part 9 Weapons Of Influence Robert B. Cialdini

My aim here is to look at influencing girls to have them carry out your wishes. My material this time will come from Robert B. Cialdinis book Influence Science and Practice. I am using the second edition as my reference. Cialdinis book examines how people influence, and are influenced, in their day to day lives by other people, groups, and companies. In this study I will discuss how Cialdinis findings can be applied to the area of PU and meeting chicks. I will show how I use his weapons of influence in my PU techniques, and I hope to provide some ideas for further discussion. I will examine Cialdinis book chapter by chapter, look at his findings, and show how his findings are relevant to, and can be used by the PUA. I encourage people to add their thoughts to my findings. I will give examples whenever possible from my life experience in meeting girls to relate Cialdinis findings to the world of PU. I first studied this book when I was living in Sweden in 1997 and have been familiar with his conclusions since that time. I have kept his findings in the back of my head throughout my seduction studies. Time and time again I find so much of what he says to be useful. Cialdini Chapter 1 Weapons Of Influence This chapter gives an overview of why a lot of techniques of influence work. A great deal of the reactions people give in their daily lives to outside stimulus are not consciously generated, or even if they are consciously decided, they are subjected to unconscious or semiconscious techniques of influence. Cialdini refers to these techniques as Weapons of Influence, and he devotes a chapter to each weapon he examines. This introductory chapter looks at the reasons for, and the reasons why people respond automatically to stimulus. Cialdini points out that

life is so complex and hurried these days that it is often necessary to accept things on the basis that we think we know how they will operate. When they dont operate quite as we have expected, we are open to manipulation or influence from people who know these techniques. An example is the usual correlation people make between price and quality. Usually, when something costs a lot it is a sign that it has high quality and value. If we know people will tend to respond in a predictable way to a given stimulus, the influencing person can give the trigger but withhold the expected reward and still benefit from an automatic response in their target. We might buy something with a high price, assuming it is high quality, and be ripped off because we did not check the merchandise properly. Another example could be that people will usually help those who seem to be in real need. If you know this and you pretend to be in real need, you can gain the benefits of that help without actually having to be in real need. So, you can benefit without having to really pay the price to get what you want. Cialdini calls the automatic mechanism Click, Whirr because it is similar to pressing a button and getting an automated response. Press the right button and you can generate the automatic behaviour. This section, and its corresponding sections in later chapters, will look at how Cialdinis findings can be applied to PU, and how I have applied this understanding in my approach to PU. In this section Ill look at the benefits of using automatic responses, which people generate all the time, in our favour. This is all about increasing rates of compliance in the people we deal with. These techniques are not magic bullets, it remains a numbers game, but when these techniques are used, especially in conjunction with each other, your chances of successfully influencing the person increase greatly. Imagine using these techniques on a chick in sequence. Then, they can be very powerful. Cialdini points out that when a person makes a request to someone and gives a reason, even if that reason is not a logical or real reason, then the person is much more likely to agree to the request. He gives the example of a person asking to use the photocopier before someone else. When the word because, is used i.e. a reason is given, the rate of compliance is much higher. This rate remains high

even when no real reason is given, but the form is used e.g. Can I quickly use the photocopier before you because I have to make some copies. It seems that giving a reason, even if it is not a real reason, will increase compliance. I remember being in a nightclub and picking up HB Countryside (it was in a rural town) and banging her the same night on a One Night Stand (ONS). I used this technique of giving a reason, even though it was not a real request. I opened her, got some rapport, then said something like I was stuck in her town and want somewhere to stay for the night because I really need a place to stay. She took me back to her place and fucked me. A girl might see you have quality if you put a price on yourself. If you tell her hands off the merchandise in a C&F way when she touches you, she can sense that you are not needy and have value. If you put a price on yourself by not always being available to her, by not returning her calls immediately, and by how you dress and exude confidence, then she can sense you have quality. It doesnt matter so much if you are not totally confident inside, it is what you present to the outside world that is important. If you give the impression that you are valuable the chick can start to sense your value. Of course it is better if you really are confident and you know your value, then you will be more congruent. But for newbies who are trying out these techniques, the act as if you are something is a good technique. If you keep acting as if for some time and people are responding to you as if you have the qualities you are presenting, then sooner or later that congruency is likely to follow and those qualities will become real. Dont tell people what you are doing. Keep your skills secret. Cialdini compares it to Ju-Jitsu where you use peoples strength against them when you fight them. In techniques of influence you will be most effective when the person you are influencing doesnt consciously know you are influencing them. Going under the radar is most effective because no one likes to realise they are being manipulated or coerced. Use these techniques in a way the person enjoys. Make it something you do with them rather than something you do on them whenever possible. Have them think it is their own idea to do whatever you are suggesting or nudging them towards. As Ross

Jeffries says, What a person perceives to be their own idea, they dont resist. Cialdini describes the contrast principle. This is where you offer something expensive, knowing it is likely to be refused, then offer something slightly less expensive (though still expensive) to the person. The second offer is more likely to be accepted because in comparison to the first offer it seems smaller and more acceptable. For example you offer a coat for $300 and your offer is refused. You then offer a coat for only $140 and this seems much more acceptable when compared to the more expensive coat. In relation to PU this technique can be used to go for a fuck close but settle for a blow job (an extreme example I know), or you go for the tonguedown but settle for the kiss on the cheek, knowing that you now have the foot in the door principle in operation. This principle will be discussed in a later chapter. It is similar to the yes set. Cialdini also talks about how something different can stand out even more strongly if you contrast it against something else. He says There is a principle on human perception, the contrast principle, that effects the way we see the difference between two things that are presented one after another. Simply put, if the second item is fairly different from the first, we will tend to see it as more different that it actually is. Relating this to PU, compare the AFC with the PUA, or someone who at least attempts to step out of the shadows and actually use some of the techniques in real life. Because the girl is used to being hit on by supplicating AFCs or guys who try to show off, or simply ask questions without showing any quality or value, when the PUA uses his techniques on her which rapidly differentiate himself from the AFC crowd, the PUA stands out far more and is even more effective because he is so different in comparison to what the girl is used to experiencing. This shows the importance and benefit of actually going out there and just trying these techniques. Even if you dont do everything perfectly, what you do try will probably have a lot of value anyway and will make you seem far more valuable than the AFC crowd. This is because your techniques stand out and

seem more powerful when contrasted with the behaviour of supplicating AFCs. Cialdini Chapter 2 Reciprocation There is an unwritten law in human interactions that people should respond favourably to someone who does something for them. Humans generally do not like to feel indebted to someone else, and we are told from an early age that one good turn deserves another. When someone does something for us, society generally expects us to do something in return. This feeling of reciprocation can be exploited by an influencer. Cialdini calls it the old give and take and take. He means that you can deliberately give something to someone in order to get something, usually something more costly than the thing you offered, in return. I should point out again that no one likes to feel manipulated. That is why when guys ask to take a girl out to dinner (as an AFC attempt to seduce her) she might feel uneasy, because she may feel that she is required to give something in return for the free meal i.e. her body. The way to use this weapon of influence effectively is to not allow the person to consciously know you are using the principle of reciprocation. Go below their radar and make it seem like you do not want anything in return, or better still show value in other ways than through your money. One way to avoid making it obvious that you are using reciprocation is to avoid using it right away. I always try to show value in other ways before using reciprocation. If you use reciprocation straight away after opening a girl it can seem obvious that you are trying to manipulate her. I find it much more effective to first build rapport and have her start to like you first before using reciprocation. Ill entertain, get her feeling comfortable, show my worth, THEN I might use reciprocation. It is like the difference between really showing you have value and simply saying you have value. By showing my worth through my personality, it doesnt seem as if I am trying to impress her or influence her when I throw in

reciprocation. The use of reciprocation, I find, is best used when you have already won her over a little and she likes you. Then she has no reason to think he is just doing this so he can get something in return. If you already have her liking you, and seeing your worth, then when you use reciprocation it just seems like you are doing something for a chick because you like her and she likes you. It does not then seem like an obvious attempt to influence. And it is when something does not seem like an obvious attempt to influence that it can be most effective. It seems like a more genuine action on your part rather than manipulation. It is still a manipulation of sorts and will still get you your results, but it will be in a way that seems a lot more pleasant for both of you. A small digression - I use the word manipulation, and a lot of people may interpret this as something bad to do to a person. I dont think it is necessarily bad. I think it is neutral because it depends on what the outcome of your manipulation or influence is. If the girl is manipulated into have the time of her life where she experiences wonderful pleasure and comes away with happy memories then that can be a terrifically positive thing to experience with me manipulation or influence is just a tool to get your outcome. The outcome can be good or bad, it depends on what your aim is. When I am with a chick my outcome is always to give her a wonderful time and to explore being with a new person, finding out what she is like inside and outside, and expanding our mutual experiences of the pleasures of the world. With me that is an amazingly positive thing for both people to come to know. When I am with a girl and use the weapon of reciprocation I get the benefit of having her stick around long enough for her to pay back in someway what I have given her. This buys me time to use my skills on her, to influence her through techniques I know. If I have done something for a girl in a way that she feels genuinely indebted to me, I know she is likely to hang around with me for a while, at least until she feels she has paid me back and no longer carries that feeling of indebtedness.

I might read her palm and tell her things about herself that give insight into who she is as a person. I might make her feel good about herself through a pattern, or I might use something physical such as letting her keep a card where I have written a word/number which I mindread from her. I have given something which she values, in a way that doesnt obviously seem like manipulation, but nevertheless causes a feeling of indebtedness in her. You can combine the weapons of reciprocation and social proof. I will discuss social proof in a later chapter, but combining them can work as follows. You approach a set and you entertain the non-target, making sure the target is watching. You use reciprocation on the nontarget, for example, maybe you read her mind and have her feel she wants to give something back to you. The target sees all this and you are credited with massive social proof because people in her group want you around them and want to do things for you. Some businesses do very well by giving away a free sample of their product. Their aim is to show the value of their product to a large target audience and have the audience realise the value of the product so that they will come back for more after having that good taster. So it is the same in PU. The PUA uses his skills to show value, he gives something to the target and she starts to see him differently. He makes her feel good, he has her connect good feelings with being around him, he does something for her to make her enjoy the experience of being with him, then he sets up a situation where she naturally is in a position to enjoy sharing something in return with the PUA. And might she have something he would enjoy? Oh yes. Give out your free sample, get them hooked and then reel them in. Cialdini Chapter 3 Commitment And Consistency People who constantly change their opinion seem wishy-washy. Politicians always say weve said all along that, and Ive always said Society values people who seem consistent in their beliefs and opinions. Someone with strong personal consistency is seen as someone who is reliable, steady, and dependable. Life can be frantic

and full of events we have to handle, and because of this people tend to rely on shortcuts to things done. Often, when we know something has worked successfully for us, we are happy to use it again. This is a good strategy most of the time because we find what works and stick with it. However this strategy can be exploited by people who want to influence others, by making it appear that the shortcut will work in the usual way but making sure the outcome is different. I have written about the foot in the door principle before. This is the technique of getting someone to do a small favour for you and then making a bigger request afterwards. Cialdini points out that if you have someone accept doing a small request, a request that is easy to agree to, then you ask for a bigger favour afterwards, you are more likely to get the bigger request granted than if you had just made the big request on its own. This foot in the door principle can be used in meeting girls. I was in a shop a couple of months ago and there was a chick next to me, I was looking at shoes and I asked her if she could let me squeeze past her, this she did, I asked her if she could tell me which shoes were in the sale, and she did. I asked her to hold a shoe for me while I looked at another shoe. She held the shoe. I told her I was bargain hunting and had just bought a necklace it a very good price, I showed it to her. I told her there were more bargains at the back of the shop and told her to come and have a look with me. She came with me to the back of the shop where it was more private. I patterned her, got her name, kinoed gently then more sexually, and closed her for the number. This example shows how I used the foot in the door principle by starting out making small requests she could easily accept, and then once I had her going along with me I used the weapon of consistency to move her where I wanted her. If you are anchoring someone, or use a ratifying technique to have a person commit to being with you as feeling good to her, you can use the weapon of commitment. Once someone has committed them self to one opinion it is easier to move them along in that direction more strongly and it can be difficult

for the person to back out because they have already stated they have the opinion. They dont want to lose face by seeming to be inconsistent. I notice Maniac High uses this in some of his seductions, hell ask a girl quite early on during their meeting if she is adventurous or romantic (notice the double bind too!) and get her to commit to being one or the other. Then later on when he offers his arm for her to hold as they walk, or holds her hand, he can remind her of her commitment that she is adventurous or romantic. She will find it easier to accept his suggestions than to back out because she has already committed herself. Swinggcat uses commitment and consistency in his qualifying techniques. Hell have the girl he gets more intimate with his techniques shell more likely go along with it because she had committed herself as being adventurous enough to hang out with him. When you anchor a good feeling in a girl and link it to yourself with the suggestion Can you feel that feels good with me, and set a covert anchor by having her commit to feeling good as she experiences your touch, you can start using the weapon of consistency and commitment. If you want to push her in the direction of spending more intimate time with you, then youll be more likely to have her accept that suggestion because she has already accepted that she feels good being with you. This can work on both the conscious and subconscious level. If you have a person commit to you while she is with other people in the group who hear her give commitment to you, then your weapon is even stronger because she will not want to lose face in front of the group. This would work well as part of Mysterys group set theory. After you have fucked a chick shell tend to justify to herself that it was all for the best. Chicks want to feel that she has made the right choice in deciding to sleep with you, so theyll often justify to themselves what she did was the right choice after the fact. I remember hearing Orion talking on the SS BHSC about a chick hed seduced. He told her afterwards what he did to seduce her, and she wasnt angry at all, she justified it. At first she tried to say, no I didnt fall for you because you used such and such a technique, I fell for you because you are so much fun etc. Then later on when he insisted

that he used SS techniques on her she justified it as its so nice that you cared so much to please a woman that youd study these techniques to make her feel good about herself. This is the weapon of consistency at work. As I said earlier, people use shortcuts to make life simpler. These shortcuts, though, can be hijacked by people who know how they operate. If you look at the technique of pacing and leading, it can be seen that you are using your knowledge of how people tend to rely on shortcuts in their thinking. If you make a series of statements that seem true and verifiable to a person and then add in a suggestion that might not be quite true, the suggestion is more likely to be accepted because the facts around it are all seen to be true. The shortcut says if all those other things are true then that one Im not sure about is probably true as well. For example if you say You know when you meet someone new, and you dont know much about them at all, you might judge them from their appearance, the way they talk, the look on their face, and NOTICE SOMETHING YOU REALLY LIKE ABOUT THIS PERSON as you start to have certain thoughts come into your mind about what they are saying. By using this kind of technique you make a number of statements which are rather vague but will be interpreted by the person as being verifiably true, then you add in the suggestion, which in this case is notice something you really like about this person, then the human mind tends to follow right along with the suggestion and carry it out with out ever realising the suggestion has been offered and acted on. Cialdini Chapter 4 - Social Proof I find social proof to be a very powerful technique. Cialdini gives the example of canned laughter being used in TV shows to influence people to think of a show as funny. When people were asked if they liked canned laughter almost all of them said no. Research however shows that people do laugh more and for longer at a joke when canned laughter was added. The same people who said they did not like canned laughter still responded to it exactly as was intended. He also gives the example of bar-tenders often putting a few

dollars into the tips jar before the display it to customers in order to make it seem as if other customers have already parted with their cash to help the bar-tender. This is social proof at work. In terms of meeting girls, if you present yourself as someone people get along with and enjoy being around, you are getting social proof. If you are in a club or a bar and proceed to entertain lots of girls, make them laugh, have them show they are enjoying being with you then you are building social proof in the eyes of the other girls around you. They see that other girls find you attractive or interesting and want to find out what it is that you have. You are increasing your perceived value through your social proof. If you use a female pivot to approach a group and use the pivot to help you access the 9/10 target in the group, then again, you are using social proof. For those people who want to learn more about social proof I recommend studying Mysterys posts or taking his seminar and workshops in the Mystery Method. I try to use social proof whenever I can. So many of my successes have come from using social proof that I know for sure what a useful technique this is. Cialdini states The principle of social proof states that one important means that people use to decide what to believe or how to act in a situation is to look at what other people are believing or doing there. It is a fact that a lot of the time girls are unsure about what they want. If you go in and try to attract a girl it may take sometime to hit upon a hook that will get you in with her. A lot of the time she will be ambivalent about getting together with you, especially if she hasnt known you for very long. You can speed things up by using social proof. If you are a talkative and friendly person all the time and your target sees people responding very favourably to you, then you have effectively speed up that period of time she might need to warm up to you. If you can win over her friends when she is in a group then you are combining the weapons of social proof and commitment/consistency because she will be likely, at the very least, to acquiesce into the groups response to you, or even actively fight for your attention if you are ignoring or negging her.

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