http://realtruthlife.blogspot.com/p/experience-of-no-self.

html The Experience of No-self

It's a true story of how one can achieve the cessation of self (one of the important characteristics of people who are free)

Bernadette Roberts was born in the pious Catholic family in the state of California, USA

Since childhood she has the talent to meditate, sit quietly in his room. Father & mother of Bernadette encourage this talent.

At age 15 she entered the monastery, became a nun. The goal is to develop the talents of meditation.

According to the teachings of Christian mysticism, the goal of meditation is to unite with God. That is the ultimate goal. There is still 'self', it's just that at its peak, 'self' is not separate from God.

In the convent, Bernadette claimed to have achieved the highest goal of Christian mysticism. Every night she went into the depths of her mind which she called "the still point" (point of silence), and be with the Lord, which compared like a coin, on one side is God and on the other side is Bernadette, and can not be separated. Describes the situation as a distinguished atmosphere of serene, safe and peaceful, where there is no disturbance of mind and desire can enter.

Bernadette reach the ability to enter and exit from the 'still-point' whenever she wants.

At the age of 25 years, she disrobe. The reason is there are not anything more that needs to be done and needs to be achieved in the monastery. In fact, according to her, with God's existence must be

tested "in the market", in crowded public life.

She is married, and had four sons. She attended again, reaching S2 degree in education, then taught at a high school. Meanwhile, she still running role as housewives.

So life went on for 20 years. Every night she remained in meditation, entered into a "still-point", "united with God." Her husband and her children are very supportive of their mother's behavior which "strange".

Twenty years later there was a tremendous event, which was not expected and it never occurred to the minds of Bernadette.

Remember, she was a Catholic, she never read the books of an Eastern spiritual or mystical (Buddhist, Hindu, etc.).

During that time, she knew just a smart books for the monks /nuns of Catholic, written by St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila. The purpose of Catholic mysticism in both books is "union with God." It never occurred to her the possibility of self / I was able to disappear.

One night, when she will enter into the "still-point", she could not find that "still-point". Instead, she saw only a kind of "black hole" in her mind. The "Black hole" is getting bigger, filling the whole himself, and then erupted like a balloon. She was like dropped from the elevator that broke the chain as high as 100 floors down.

Arriving at the "bottom", she opened her eyes, and see everything around her, in her room, no one changed. But there is one major change: she could not feel her inner self! No emotion, no self-feeling, as the center looked around. No more me, a subject, which deal with the object. Everything is an object, even her own body was seen as an object, which is no different than bodies of others. No subject, who

was at the center of its existence.

No emotion, no pleasant feeling, happiness, and no sense of grief, suffering. The body remained there, five-senses still functioning perfectly, intellect and memory of factual menacing still there, but no more self / subject in her mind. The body exists, there is physical pain, but no longer feel suffered because of physical pain.

She must learn again to adapt for two years to return to serve as a member of a distinguished family & society whose "normal." She must learn to see her husband is different from other men, although there was no longer feeling that the man is "MY-husband". Similarly, she must relearn her role as a mother to four children who are teenagers; the four children that are different from their other teenager friends, though in her mind there was no longer feeling of "They are MY kids."

And most interesting is, when self / I was lost in the events of that night, along with that, the God whom she knew was gone! She can no longer find God whom she was familiar and with whom she was in the "still-point" every night for twenty years.

But instead, everywhere she looked, in her mind's eye she saw something else. 'Something else' is seen pervading everything imaginable in her view. And she INTUITIVELY knows that 'something else' is the source of all things imaginable in this universe, and into which everything will be back.

I remember Udana 1.10: "In reference to the seen, there will be only the seen. In reference to the heard, only the heard. In reference to the sensed, only the sensed. In reference to the cognized, only the cognized. That is how you should train yourself. When for you there will be only the seen in reference to the seen, only the heard in reference to the heard, only the sensed in reference to the sensed, only the cognized in reference to the cognized, then, Bahiya, there is no you in terms of that. When there is no you in terms of that, there is no you there. When there is no you there, you are neither here nor yonder nor between the two." http://realtruthlife.blogspot.com/p/experience-of-no-self.html