"Intimacy is "in to me see.

"
Yeremiyah Ben Yisrael on Friday, July 30, 2010 at 1:10am

Shalom Mishpacha (Family)

One of the hardest things for any of us to do is to learn to have compassion for our self. In childhood we felt like it was our fault that our wounded parents treated us in the way they did. We felt that any abuse, deprivation, neglect, and/or abandonment (actual or emotional) was because there was something wrong with who we were that we were defective or bad or evil or unlovable in some way. As long as we have not done the work to heal our relationship with the child who we were - with the inner child wounded places that still exist within us - we are not available to Love our self. When we are not able to Love our self, then we are more comfortable in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable. Being emotionally unavailable to our self makes us emotionally unavailable to others - and will cause us to sabotage any relationship where the other person is Loving us more

than we feel we deserve to be Loved.

"Intimacy is "in to me see."

We need to be able to see into our self - and be willing to take the action necessary to stop allowing the emotional wounds and old tapes to run our lives and sabotage our relationships." I have heard love described in a way that explains why intimacy is often so difficult to attain. Love brings up anything unlike itself for the purpose of release and healing. Therefore, even in the most "safe" and "loving" relationship, our "intimate" partner may trigger in us emotions, attitudes, insecurities, fears and downright unattractive personal qualities that we have been suppressing and hiding, even from our own self. For many, especially those who have not been willing to self-reflect and take personal responsibility for their emotions and their life, an "intimate relationship" can be the most dangerous place in the world. Creating intimacy requires allowing yourself to be seen and known and acknowledged. It also requires seeing, knowing and acknowledging the other person for who they truly are. And then it involves each partner allowing them self and their partner to express their true feelings without fear of being criticized, judged or abandoned. Not an easy task when

dealing with the normal stresses of day to day living and all the preconceived ideas we hold in our mind about the way love "should' be.. Many of us demand more from our intimate partners than we expect of our own self. We forgive our self for thinking, feeling or behaving in unloving ways but we expect our partner to just forgive us and love us anyway. Some of us expect more from our own self than from others. We forgive and forget, only to harbor unexpressed resentments that appear out of the blue at seemingly inappropriate moments. Intimacy is not for the faint of heart. Intimacy is an ongoing creative process, slowly revealing and sharing bits and pieces of our innermost workings. Intimacy begins with accepting and loving our own self first. My question for you is this: Have you faced your own inner demons? Do you like, love and truly accept yourself the way you are now? And how do you feel when someone you know "gets" you, sees you the way you believe you really are? Are you ready for true intimacy in your life? Just remember, you don't have to do it all alone. Just as long as you are ready for others to truly SEE INTO YOU. Intimacy\Inti*ma*cy\, n.; pl. Intimacies. [From Intimate.] The state of being intimate; close familiarity or association; nearness in friendship. The Most High God desires intimacy, you desire intimacy, people around you desire intimacy. But it can be really hard to find, get and keep. In this post Ill try to explain what it is and why its hard to find. Here are some bottom lines:

it takes courage to open ourselves to each other, but without openness we cant have intimacy without someone to tell our inner stuff to, we will suffer mentally and emotionally not all talking is the same shallow chit chat doesnt take away emptiness, it is deeper talking that stops us from feeling isolated and gives us a sense of being connected and accepted and warm

By the way the same goes for our relationship with The Most High God. Unless you will speak out and vent the yucky stuff you feel, you cant have a relationship with (not just knowledge of) Him. If youre afraid of His wrathful rejection you might keep your real feelings hidden and you stick to safe prayers. If you wont talk openly with Him, you will not be able to enter into deeper intimacy with Him as a Person. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him what you feel. Ask for what you need. James 4:2 "yet ye have not, because ye ask not."