funny poetry

ghazal 1
tumse mila main kal to,
mere dil mein hua ek sound,
lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho:
your file not found!

aisa bhi nahin hai ke,

i don't like your face
par dil ke computer mein,
nahin hai enough disk space

ghar se nikalti ho tum jab,

pehen ke evening gown
too many requests se,
ho jaata hai server down

tumhaare liye pyaar ki application,

create main karoonga
tum usse debug karna,
wait main karoonga

tumhaara intezaar karte karte,

main so gaya
yeh dekho mera connection,
time out ho gaya

ghazal - 2
abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo
aab main dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloo

apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao

ai jaaneman apne dil ka password to batao

woh to hum hain jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhte hain

warna aap jaise kitney hi softwares bazaar main bikte hain

roz raat ko aap mere sapne main aate ho

mere pyar ko mouse bana ke ungaliyon pe nachaate ho

tere pyar ka email mere dil ko lubhataa hai

par beech main tere baap ka virus aataa hai
 aur karvaaoge humse kitnaa intezaar
hamaare dil ki site pe kabhi enter to maro yaar

apni insult ka badalaa dekhna main kaise loonga

jaaneman tere baap ko shift delete kar doonga

aap jaiso ke liye dil ko cut ker diya karte hai

warna baaki cases main to copy paste kiya karte hai

aapka hasnaa aap ka chalnaa aap ki woh style

aapke adaaon ki hamne save hai kar li file

ghazal - 3
yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya,
yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya;
yeh product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?

yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti

ye basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
yeh review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi

excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi
yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki
yeh release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor

mere saamne se hataa daalo yeh modem
tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo yeh computer
yeh product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?

apni aisi wife hou

apni aaisee wife ho,.

5'6" jiski height ho,
jeans tight tight ho,
chehra jiska bright ho,
umar 22 se 27 ho,
aise apni wife ho.
 sadak per sab kahen kya cute ho,
bhir me sab kahen side ho, side ho,
pindi, islamabad ya peshawar ki paidaish ho,
sas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
aisi apni wife ho.

padosi jab baat karay to haath me knife ho,

dinner ke waqt candle light ho,
ham me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,
milnay ke baad dil delight ho,
aise apni wife ho.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
larki ka jawab
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

6'2" jiski height ho

jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
biwi ka her nakhra uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
husband apna aisa bright ho

uff tak na kare itna quiet ho

dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
shopping ker ke jab bhi aoon, bolay begum tum kitni nice ho
husband apna aisa bright ho

mujhay rani bana ker rakhay, to phir zindagi delight ho

saas sussar ke samne kahay, jaan tum hamesha right ho
hamesha jo haar maan jaye, jab bhi kabhi fight ho
husband apna aisa bright ho

jaha chahoon jaoon, jo chahy karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho

her doosray week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
aisa ho jaye to mein urron aasman mein, jaisay ke kite ho
husband apna aisa bright ho

more shers

kon kehta hai pyaar may pakray jaeen gay?

waqt aanay per behen bhai ban jaeen gay

teray husn ki kia taareef karoo?tera bander jaisa mu

teri zulfo ki kia tareef karoo?teray ek ek baal pe joon

mohabbat mujhay un jawano se hai

 jo khatay peetay gharano se hain

aj bagh may kali hai, kal gulaab ho ga

mujh se shadi karlo,tum ko sawab ho ga

itnay dino se jalanay nahi aya

jalti hui aag ko bujhanay nahi aya
kehta tha saath jiyen gay saath marain gay
ab rooth gai hoon to ullu ka patha mananay bhi nahi aya.

ghar se roz jata hai wo, maa ko bohot rulata hai wo

kambakht baap, sab ko hi satata hai wo

hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per

sadqay jaoo tumhari patli kamar per

tum bhi becahara,hum bhi becahara

fittay mu tumhara,fittay mu hamara

hum nay usay dekha angle badal kar

us nay hamay mara sandle badal kar

dil kay armaa aanso'oo may bah gaye

un kay bachay hamay mamu kah gaye

hum nay tumhay dil diya dildar samajh kar

tum kha gaye is ko naswaar samajh kar

dabbay may dabba dabbay may khargosh

nana nay aankh mari nani behosh

khuda karay sab haseenaao ke baap mar jaeen

maut ka bahana ho aur hum in kay ghar jaeen

ishq kay samander main ghota lagaya

pani both thanda tha main bahar nikal aya

un ki gali say guzray,ajab ittefaq tha

unho nay phool phanka,gamla bhi saath tha

log kehtay hain kayamat kay din marr jaeen gay

hum bhi bohot chalaak hai,mangi thallay war jaeen gay

wo ankh bari pyaari thi jo hum nay usay mari thi

wo sandle bari bhari thi jo us nay hamay mari thi
 mera dil para hai loose is ko matt karo tum use
warna parain gay tum ko shoes

"sahib zaday kiya karte hain" larki waloon ne poocha

"jab dekho farigh phirte hain ya tambako pite hain"
larkay ki amman yeh bolin....kam kare us ki joti
"do bhai bhatta lete hain--abba khair se daku hain"

nakam muhabbat ka har eik dukh sehna..

.har haal main anjam se darte rehna
qudrat ka barra anjam hai jaidi........
mehbooba ki olad ka "mamoon" kehna!

rab na dikhaye
tooba tooba!
nanga pinda
nanga sina
bara kameena
dish antena

ishq main fanni kharabi...........munqata hi ho geya saab silsila

is tarha toota hai un se wasta....jis tarha t.v main toote rabta

rat ka waqt hai or masjid hai qareeb

uthiye jaldi se ke peghame amal laya hoon
ghar main hain filhal jitne bhi purane jote
aap bhi jake badal lain main badal aya hoon

or bhi chizain lut chuki hain dil ke sath

yeh batayen doston ne ishq farmane ke baad
is liye kamre ki eik eik chiz check karta hoon main
" eik tere ane se pehle eik tere jane ke baad"

bhains rakhne ka takalluf hamse ho sakta nahin

ham ne sokhe doodh ka dabba jo hai rakha hua
ghar main rakhain ghair mehrm ko mulazim kis liye
kam karne ke liye abba jo hai rakha hua

utha kar phool ki patti, nazaakat se masal daali

ishaarey se kaha hum dil "aisa" haal kartey hain

dil karta hai keh uss kay nazook hontoon koo chuum loonnnnn
magar uss kee behteee hooyee naak nay meraa iradaa hee badal diyaaa

chandni chand se hogi to sitaroon ka kiya ho ga

 mohabbat eik se hogi to hazaroon ga kiya ho ga

koi batlaye.......jab yeh larkiyan...... baghawat nahin kar

saktin...........to mohobbat q karti hain ....:)