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W|th more than 30 years of exper|ence as a marr|age counse|or Dr
Gary Chapman has heard |t a|| ne has he|ped coup|es at every stage
of marr|age and at p|vota| po|nts |n the|r re|at|onsh|psfrom those
[ust d|scover|ng the [oys and tr|a| of marr|age to those who are ready
to ca|| |t qu|ts
After many years of counse||ng Dr Chapman not|ced a pattern
everyone he had ever counse|ed had a "|ove |anguage" a pr|mary way
of express|ng and |nterpret|ng |ove ne a|so d|scovered that for
whatever reason peop|e are usua||y drawn to those who speak a
d|fferent |ove |anguage than the|r own
Cf the count|ess ways we can show |ove to one another f|ve key
categor|es or f|ve |ove |anguages proved to be un|versa| and
comprehens|veeveryone has a |ove |anguage and we a|| |dent|fy
pr|mar||y w|th one of the f|ve |ove |anguages Words of Aff|rmat|on
ua||ty 1|me kece|v|ng G|fts Acts of Serv|ce and hys|ca| 1ouch
Act|ons don't a|ways speak |ouder than words
If th|s |s your |ove |anguage
unso||c|ted comp||ments
mean the wor|d to you
near|ng the words
"I |ove you" are |mportanthear|ng the
reasons beh|nd that |ove sends your sp|r|ts
skyward Insu|ts can |eave you shattered and
are not eas||y forgotten
In the vernacu|ar of ua||ty 1|me
noth|ng says "I |ove you" ||ke fu||
und|v|ded attent|on
8e|ng there for th|s type of person
|s cr|t|ca| but rea||y be|ng there
w|th the 1V off fork and kn|fe down
and a|| chores and tasks on standbymakes
your s|gn|f|cant other fee| tru|y spec|a| and
|oved D|stract|ons postponed dates or the
fa||ure to ||sten can be espec|a||y hurtfu|
Don't m|stake th|s |ove |anguage
for mater|a||sm the rece|ver of g|fts
thr|ves on the |ove thoughtfu|ness
and effort beh|nd the g|ft If you
speak th|s |anguage the perfect g|ft
or gesture shows that you are known you are cared
for and you are pr|zed above whatever was sacr|f|ced
to br|ng the g|ft to you A m|ssed b|rthday
ann|versary or a hasty thought|ess g|ft wou|d be
d|sastrousso wou|d the absence of
everyday gestures
Can vacuum|ng the f|oors rea||y be
an express|on of |ove? Abso|ute|y!
Anyth|ng you do to ease the burden
of respons|b|||t|es we|gh|ng on
an "Acts of Serv|ce" person
w||| speak vo|umes 1he words he or
she most wants to hear "Let me do that for you"
Laz|ness broken comm|tments and mak|ng more
work for them te|| speakers of th|s |anguage the|r
fee||ngs don't matter
1h|s |anguage |sn't a|| about
the bedroom A person whose
pr|mary |anguage |s
hys|ca| 1ouch |s not surpr|s|ng|y
very touchy nugs pats on the back
ho|d|ng hands and thoughtfu| touches on the
arm shou|der or facethey can a|| be ways to
show exc|tement concern care and |ove hys|ca|
presence and access|b|||ty are cruc|a| wh||e
neg|ect or abuse can be
unforg|vab|e and destruct|ve
008l0$l1ll$ 8000l 18l l0l l8606l$ 000k
S|nce 1he S Love Languages debuted |n 1992 over f|ve m||||on cop|es
have been so|d mak|ng 1he S Love Languages a perenn|a| New ork
1|mes bestse||er 8ut numbers don't measure the |nf|uence the book
has had on coup|es and the|r marr|ages
1he S Love Languages has he|ped count|ess coup|es |dent|fy pract|ca|
and powerfu| ways to express |ove s|mp|y by us|ng the appropr|ate
|ove |anguage Many husbands and w|ves who had spent years
strugg||ng through marr|ages they thought were |ove|ess d|scovered
one or both spouses had |ong been show|ng |ove through messages
that weren't gett|ng through 8y recogn|z|ng the|r d|fferent |ove
|anguages they w|tnessed the reb|rth of the |ove they thought had
been gone for good
1he book has been trans|ated |nto more than 40 |anguages and |s
hea||ng marr|ages around the wor|d!