1 Running head: COUNSELING REFLECTION

Counseling Reflection Paper Clinical Mental Health Counseling Jay Hayden

COUNSELING REFLECTION

2 Counseling Reflection

Before this experience, the longest counseling session I had taped was only 10 minutes long. Therefore, after discovering that we would be taping a 30 minute session, I became extremely anxious. A torrent of worries swept through my mind, What if I say something wrong? What if the client says nothing? What if the tape doesnt work? And what can we talk about for 30 minutes? But, as those worries sprang to life, I remembered some wise advice that helped alleviate my anxiety. Within the assigned readings for my techniques class, I have learned that in order to succeed you have to fail. As blunt as that sounds, it is an accurate statement in regards to budding counselors. I will not instantly become a great counselor and I will inevitably fail and make many mistakes during my training. But, these mistakes will help pave my way towards becoming a successful counselor. Prior to beginning my 30 minute counseling session, I repeated this phrase over and over again while practicing some deep breathing to calm myself down. This mind set and relaxation process helped me appear calm and collected, even though on the inside I was a nervous mess. After pulling myself together, I began the counseling session by asking my client what she would like to discuss. She had concerns regarding her current finances and her future financial stability. Furthermore, she believed that her counseling profession was grossly underappreciated and did not receive adequate compensation. I practiced the L.U.V technique of listening, understanding, and validating so she would realize she was truly being heard. Additionally, I maintained an attentive posture by leaning slightly forward in my seat and used a slow, softly toned voice to encourage her to tell me more. I think my voice is one of my greatest strengths as a counselor. I always try to speak in a slow, clear, soft, and tentative manner so that the client does not feel intimidated or pressured by

COUNSELING REFLECTION

my comments. Similarly, this gentle demeanor helps my clients feel as if they are in safe environment in which they can freely speak their mind. Dr. McKee also commented on my voice and said that it will be helpful to me later on and will allow me to perturb the client while still maintaining a non-threatening position. In addition to using the L.U.V technique, having an attentive body language, and a soft voice, I believe I also did well with my use of paralinguistic utterances. To encourage my client to continue telling her story, I made a subtle mmmmmm noise when she finished a thought or during an important segment in her narrative. Furthermore, I occasionally used paralinguistic utterances as a response and skipped a turn instead of providing a direct feedback. This practice of skipping turns has been hard for me to employee but Im starting to understand its importance and how to use it. Specifically, social conversation dictates a 50/50 relationship in which one person speaks and one person listens with the roles continuously switching. However, in counseling, this social norm is severely skewed in that the counselor listens more and speaks significantly less. Hence the expression of skipping turns, because the counselor is skipping his or her turn in which they were supposed to speak. Instead of speaking, the counselor inserts a paralinguistic utterance or some anticipatory body language to encourage the client to keep speaking. Aside for skipping turns, it is imperative for a counselor to know how to appropriately ask questions to his or her client. I also thought I also did well in this area, and asked open questions that would probe her to more thoughtfully reflect upon her situation. For example, my client spoke about the importance of getting validation for her profession. Thus, I asked what it would mean to her if her area of study had that validation. This question lead to her

COUNSELING REFLECTION

experiencing her emotion behind this issue and realizing how validation would provide her with the respect she deserved and alleviate the stigmatization she faced. Furthermore, I thought I did well in terms of keeping my client in her optimum zone of emotion versus cognition. In particular, I wanted her to not just cognitively talk about her situation, I wanted her to explore her emotions and she how this situation related to her. Subsequently, I made comments that encouraged her to reflect on how this situation affects her personally. For instance, my client had been very cognitive while discussing the mental health profession and how it did not receive appropriate reward or credibility. I commented about how she too was a part of this larger profession and what that meant for her in regard to credibility. Through my feedback, I was trying to help her draw her own connection to possibly feeling discredited in relation to this larger organization. Thankfully, my comment appeared to help her explore her feelings connected to her profession. Specifically, she remarked that she felt as if she lost credibility in the eyes of her friends and family for choosing a simple minded profession. I followed her comment with the L.U.V technique to help her reflect upon her emotion and sit with her anger surrounding this new realization. This moment of clarity the client reached could not have been attained had I not used an open ended question paired with empathetic listening. While I am pleased with my overall counseling session, there are areas in which I know I could have done better and need to work on. One area of my counseling that needs drastic improvement is my use and understanding of metaphors. Within this counseling session, I feel as if I may have dipped too far into the metaphor world and would love to be able to take back my metaphor about her trying to catch up with her friends. You could clearly see that she did not agree with the metaphor. But, at least when a metaphor blows up in your face, the client usually

COUNSELING REFLECTION

helps you realize what was wrong with it and clarifies their situation. Thankfully, my client did exactly that and helped clarify what was inaccurate about the metaphor. She went on to explain that she didnt feel as if she was competing with her friends and was not trying to compare herself to them. Instead, she just was really upset by how people continue to belittle and insult her profession. Also, I believe I shirked some basic stage one counseling skills by not asking her to define key words she repeated. For example, words like rewarded, resentment, and unfairness were frequently repeated in our counseling session. I have my own definition for these words, but she may have a completely different meaning or understanding of these same words. In order for me to truly understand my client, it is important for me to comprehend how she interprets these key words and what they mean to hear. Otherwise, I can only view her situation within my own subjective experience. Similarly, I would like to improve my use of immediacy. I believe I correctly used immediacy earlier in the counseling session when I brought attention to the sadness of my clients voice. But, I also tried to use it while we were discussing her anger surrounding the lack of validation she got for her profession and believe I could have done a better job in this area. I commented on how she appeared fidgety by playing with her bracelet and asked if she was uncomfortable with what we were discussing. She responded by saying that she was really upset and was becoming heated by issue and just wanted to be respected for her line of work. Looking back on my immediacy comment, I wish I could reworded my phrase and made it sound more tentative. Instead, I would have said something along the lines of While we were talking about how you feel discredit, your voice sounded very angry and were twirling your bracelet. What is that about? I think that may have illicitied a better response from her rather

COUNSELING REFLECTION

than her saying that she was just angry. Also, during my immediacy comment I said little bracelet instead of just bracelet, and I wish I could take the little portion out. This may be a minute detail but it made me sound like I was belittling her emotion and was talking to a child instead of a young adult. Through this counseling session, I have recognized some of my counseling strengths and areas that need improvement. I plan on enhancing my counseling strengths by incorporating foundational techniques and mannerisms into my everyday life. Using the L.U.V. technique can be helpful while negotiation roommate quarrels and discrepancies within the office. And it never hurts to practice attentive body language and paralinguistic utterances while talking with friends and family. I hope that as I integrate these behaviors into my everyday life, the more successful and genuine they will be within my future counseling session. I plan on attending to my areas of improvement by increased practice and self-reflection. I find that the more I tape, the more I can critically analyze my techniques. And once I have discussed and reflected upon the issue I am facing, such how to be more immediate, I try to tackle this challenge in my next tape. Before taping this session, I felt as if I did not understand how to make an affective metaphor. Consequently, I made a 10 minute tape for my techniques class where I tried to create as many metaphors as possible. Granted, this was not a proper counseling technique, but by using a ridiculous amount of metaphors and challenging my brain to create lots of verbal imagery for the client, I was no longer afraid of using them. This process of self-reflection and goal setting has been my main practice for overcoming my counseling challenges. Before I go into a taping session, I tell myself to focus on one area to improve on while counseling. And that as long as I strive to do better in that area and make a valiant effort to do better, I cannot be upset with my performance. Even if I end up making more

COUNSELING REFLECTION

mistakes or not entirely improving, I remind myself that I need to fail to succeed in order to become a successful counselor. This positive attitude helps me realize that these are not just areas that I need to improve on, but are instead opportunities for self-growth that will help me become a better counselor.