.

!
,
PROLOGUE:
REQUIEM FORAN ANGEL
At last the fires are out, and I can see what happened...
U
ntil yesterday the land was curtained by smoke, but
today the sky is finally clear again, washed clean by
the first ofwinter's storms. From the broken summit of
Twin Peaks I view the sharp blue line of San Francisco Bay, where
white caps dance before a rising afternoon wind and a strong ebb
tide pulls floating wreckage toward the Golden Gate.
The famed orange bridge is gone; only its towers still stand,
and from each ofthese a tangle of metal cables sways slightly in the
afternoon gusts.
I can scarcely believe what I.'lee! Only three weeks ago this
place was filled with activity - colorful sails, hissing traffic, even
win,,,, craft that carried people through the sky. Now there is not a
Ilan of life.
Ian Francisco is dead.
, ' Prom my nothing but dcsbrll. Only one
_Wtlllil even that survived becaule
'0I1tI and I brood over the IIcene, trying to
oom,," I have been beaten. But my gloomy reverie
7
I
I
I I
I I
THE LUCIFER DIARY
is soon interrupted, for before me stands a growing line of
messengers, cuing up to report what has happened elsewhere.
Dreading what I expect to hear, I nod curtly to the first in line.
"Master, the same thins has happened to Denver. I couldn't
even locate the city center. Th. dtruetion is total."
Nor is the news any diff.rent ftoom Moscow and Tokyo. My
scouts from Liverpool check In, u do the on assigned to Bombay
and Lima, then Sydney and Nalrob1. Ilan of life at all? The
answer is unifonn: "No What )'ou see here seems to
have happened everywhere."
Ifthis is true, I've suff.red 4fMJIiIliJ bave feared for eons,
for the humans were my arms and contact with the
world outside the Fourth somehow,
must be at least a few ofthem l.ft.lt.....,. we can rebulld.
On a hunch, I summon a party til"
Ull
"In rural Montana, I say, W ourvivalists who
expected this and prepared for It.' "':Ib'ed supplies and
equipment. Some even built bunk'lI ' "., '..... ', ' I and concrete. Go
look there. We may find pockets of h ,,' ' _'living."
f
They dash off, disappearing ....time-space barrier
while I remain, by choice, in the dim' the humans were
trapped - trapped because, long aao, . .; _sed to put them
there. They were prisoners oftime, and ....Mod them ofall they
valued most: youth, vitality, the companI.....,oflike creatures they
called friends. I had gulled them Into ....inS the Luciferian
Reversal, and having done that, they dlllllVllld too late there is no
going back.
, In human tenns, perhaps an hour Dejected, I pace the
littered summits ofTwin Peaks and think 0'"traffic that, just days
before, milled about beneath me -:- oftoD apparent purpose. I
dread hearing what my ,1Gt'iltS' . d when they burst
through the "barrier, reenterlna an dimension, J
tum from them as if to will away th.1r n. .f'" ,
8
THE LUCIFER DIARY
"There is nothing anywhere, Master. Nothing at all. The
humans are gone. It is over."
So this is how it ends. I am Lucifer, Commander of the
Revolution, and most of the beings on Earth were my allies. If they
are indeed gone, then my empire is ruined. For I am at war.
It was not always so. Once I lived far away, in a place called
the Realm ofLight. I was the mightiest of angels, commander ofthe
Legions ofthe Cosmos. For nearly 98 eons I stood before a towering
blue and gold throne where the King was wrapped in dazzling light.
But midway through the 97th Eon something changed - something
deep in my soul, something I still do not understand. Somehow I
came to hate him, and I challenged him for control of the universe.
That was when the war began. A third ofhis forces joined me,
and we fought savagely, giving ground but never giving up, and the
battle spilled out across the universe itself - clear out to the fourth
quadrant of the Outer Ring, where we found ourselves on a tiny
beachhead at the edge of a cosmic sea. The name of the place was
Earth. It was here we made our last stand.
How did it happen - this nightmare of broken dreams? I've
asked myself that question a billion times, and still I have no
explanation. But perhaps there is a place I can start searching. Before
the war began I commenced writing a journal which I've kept ever
since. This afternoon I'll open it and look for answers.
It is time to read The Lucifer Diary.
r"""
.. , ~ , i
, '\",
. il'V'<""
,../"
...., .
r
9
II
IN THE BEGINNING
CHAPTER!
Realm ofLight, Eon 97, Age 4456.4
l
am Lucifer, Guardian of the Light, and I stand in the
presence of EI Shaddai, the Mighty One. He is a towering
being, ablaze with light, and we are told that he has been
here forever - from before the moment the universe was born. From
eternity.
Less than a hundred paces distant is his throne, a glowing
pinnacle ofblue and gold, radiant with light and energy. Beneath the
throne is a place we call the Stones of Fire - a huge assembly ground
paved with diamonds, extending nearly to the horizon and filled with
bright beings who come and go on cosmic errands.
Through this crystal ocean flows a river oflight, billowing like
fire. At.times the light beneath our feet is pure White; at others it
boils with color, turning the assembly ground incandescent. Here I
spend most of my time, and here his legions gather, awaiting
assignment. All of them are under my c o ~ r . n a n d .
Often he calls for musrc,"mdI summohthe Assembly to sing
the anthem, the words ofwhich never cease to thiill me: "Unto Him
, '"
10
THE LUCIFER DIARY
who sits enthroned in light... "I have heard it for almost a hundred
eons, yet each perfonnance surpasses the last. When his name is
spoken, the Flying Ones cover their faces in reverence, and the
enonnous crystal vault overhead shakes with energy. I never tire of
hearing the anthem; I expect I never will.
In this place oflight and movement, ofsong and mystery, there
is one supreme emotion. All of us are drawn to him by a force that
comes from the center of our souls. I cannot imagine a fate worse
than being separated from him.
He is the incarnation of love.
Eon 97, Age 4460.2
It is strange, but true: I have attended him for ages, since
before the creation of the Inner Ring, but still I do not understand
him. All the rest of us have a point of beginning, a time when he
brought us into being, yet I am told that he has always existed, and
therein lies the mystery. How can someone be who had no start?
But there is another mystery. He is one, yet he exhibits three
personalities, each of them distinct. There is EI Shaddai himself,
who resides on the throne. There is also the one called Ruach, whose
name means Spirit. One cannot see him, one feels him, and his
power is overwhelming.
The third Being is the most puzzling of all. Sometimes he
leaves the throne and travels to the far quadrants of the cosmos,
while the Mighty One remains enthroned. When he returns, we
sometimes learn that new galaxies have been called into being, and
when this happens Ruach always accompanies him. I do not
understand that. I do not understand creation. I must admit it: that
bothen me.
I am bothered by still another enigma. We call him Archon, the
ruler oferlation, but I have heard EI Shaddai call this third Beina hi.
"Son." Yet he has been here, and we are told that, like the
Mighty One, he had no HOw, then, can he be anyone's
son? "r-'
r
11

I i

.-.... - - '. <,' -,' <, ' . '- .,.,,",'
THE LUCIFER DIARY
And, come to think about it, what does this say about my own
status? I am first among all the created ones. Many have exclaimed
that I am the most beautiful angel in the cosmos, yet this third Being
at the throne bears a name that implies creation. So why is he
honored above me? Is El Shaddai not telling us the whole truth?
No! I must never again let that thought enter my mind! He is
truth. His law brings order, without which this whole complex
universe, with its ring systems and orbital harmony, would collapse.
Everything in creation proclaims that he is right. Have I lighted a
billion suns, or brought warm beings to life? From where else but
him could come that river of energy that lights the paving stones
beneath our feet?
No, better to accept it: Archon - the Son, if you will - is
simply a mystery I may never be able to understand. Ifhe is truly one
of the Three, if he is superior to me, then so be it.
I am content. I will do my best at the throne.
Bo" 97, Age 4461.0
Something curious has just happened. A High Command
errand required my presence over at the Paralese 3 formation, and
while I was away, Aldebaran, my second deputy, was in charge. As
he called the Assembly to order and led the anthem, the throne
luddenly glowed with hot reddish light, a color we have never seen
Chen before. The vault, Aldebaran said, filled with such high levels
or IMI'I)' that the Assembly could scarcely even sing. And all this
hlppllllCl during the second stanza.
ThIN II a portion ofthe Anthem I have never understood - the
passage about the Creator giving himself for the world. Which
world? The.. are billions of them. And what is meant by "giving"
himself? Why would he need to? Anyway, at this point the throne
radiated energy hi billowing waves that pulsed outward over the
Stones ofFire and ....ad across the City toward the portals ofspace.
"It was," Aldebarah later s ~ i ~ , "as H;,!hg Almighty were putting his
arn1s around the whole cosmos. I've never s e e n ~ ~ h i n g like it. We
all bowed in homage." , '-.
\
u
.!l.
t
f'
THE LUCIFER DIARY
Strange - so strange. What is going on? And why did all this
happen while I was absent?
Eon 97, Age 4461.1
Back at my duty station in the Realm ofLight. Been very busy.
Tried to find out what I can. No one seems to understand the anthem
incident. Meanwhile something else to think about. While serving as
Second Attendant at the throne, Aldebaran overheard a conversation
in which the Three seemed to be planning another act of creation.
Didn't get many details, but heard enough to know something is
going to happen.
The last time this occurred, the Three held a private council
and then Ruach and Archon went out to the second quadrant of the
Outer Ring, and soon (only nine ages later, as I recall) we learned of
the creation of Aurelion 24.
What an experience that was! So huge was this new formation
that it warped gravitation in that whole quadrant, even distorting the
time/space coordinate as far away as the Second Ring. Andrade, one
of my senior echelon deputies, was assigned to accompany the
creation party, so he watched it all from a distance, and said it was
the most awesome thing he had ever witnessed. Archon simply
spoke, commanding life and matter to appear, and at that instant
Ruach released monstrous levels of energy. Soon space was filled
with light and matter, exactly as Archon had directed, and Aurelion
24 went sailing on its way, a glittering pinwheel that spanned more
than eighty million light ages of space!
I have to admit that I am obsessed by creation, this wondrous
power possessed by the Three. None of us understands it, but there
is one thing ofwhich I am almost certain. I believe the source for III
this new matter is the energy released by Ruach.
We all know that stars convert small amounts of mltter _
huge quantities of energy, thus lighting the skies uf .plOl. ",.
ponderln. t,h, is for,i'" an ,ages"" e to believi that In 0.....
the proce ", erse - ....fenergy becoml. mlttlr, WOYtI'. "iI"
into I, ,,' hon I think RUlgh I. thl IOUfOI.
13
"!!
i
THE LUCIFER DIARY
If! am right, then the Being we call Ruach is awesome. Iftiny
amounts of matter can release huge levels of energy, how much
energy would it take to make a world? To fill a galaxy? What an
incredible Being!
Eon 97, Age 4461.2
I can't get the subject of creation off my mind. Indeed, I am
troubled by a question I can't dismiss: ifRuach is the energy source
for creation, and if the Archon knows how to control that power,
might other intelligent beings learn how to do the same?
After all, his very name implies:creation. Well, we are also
created beings. Is he just one ofus, someone who figured out howto
harness Ruach' s forces? And, if so, did that force the Mighty One to
let him share the throne?
The question both intrigues and frightens me. One moment I
am so terrified I vow never to think such thoughts again. A moment
later my mind is in ecstasy. Harnessing the power of creation: the
idea sweeps over me like the force field from a new-born star. If I,
too, could solve the mystery ofcosmos, perhaps I could also gain the
throne! As the Assembly sings the Anthem, their homage would
shine not just on the Holy Ones, but on mel
Perhaps I was destined for this discovery. Maybe, in time,
others can also solve the mystery and Join the Mighty One on the
throne. What an idea - a cosmos of th, gods! Nothing would be
hidden from us. We could know everythina, and bask in the glory
now l1\Jo)'ed by only three!
I baYI never had such a thrilling idel, I think I will never be
the same &pinI
Eon 97, Ag, 4462.1
Today the Three held another council. A brilliant azure light
enveloped the throne Iike a curtain and blocked both sight and
sound, and though I stood as close ~ ~ s i b l e , I could learn nothing.
I might as well admit it, this is beginning to bothq- me. For 97
eons I have stood before this throne and waited while they planned
14
..
THE LUCIFER DIARY
Aurelion 24, and the mighty Serafan Formation, and the vast
structure of the Outer Ring. I've watched Archon go into these
private councils and leave me behind, and I've never complained.
But something about this new creation is different, and it involves
the beings who will live there.
Soon after the anthem incident, Aldebaran came to me with a
puzzled look on his face.
"I'm not sure I should even bother you with this, Lucifer, but
something unusual is going on. The new creation they're planning
- you know, Second Quadrant, Outer Ring - "
"es," I interrupted impatiently, ''the Empty Sector. What
about it?"
"Well, I overheard some more news. At least for now, only one
orb in the system will be populated. There will be a new order of
beings -lower order than we are, so they won't be angels. In fact, it
looks like they'll be confined to their orb - no galactic travel, not
even excursions within their own solar system. And - get this - there
will be only two of them. Only two, for a whole orb!
"Oh, and I heard the Three say something about creating them
'in our image.' What do you make of it?"
I was too stunned to talk. "Leave me," I commanded, and
waved Aldebaran aside.
Ifmy angel friend was puzzled by the strange news, I was not.
Suddenly all the pieces fell into place. A new world with only two
beings, the term "in our image"- the implications were all-too-clear.
Two beings were obviously insufficient to populate a world - that II,
un less the Three had decided to give them something no one ha. IVlr
had before, the power of bringing new life into being.
In our Image. The Three have the power uf greatlon,
being made
(
.. i ' huvo
waN no elcaplrya'''i+,bclusJon. " . .. , .
(. Ii ' ,
. r"" H 'I'
15
THE LUCIFER DIARY
Has the Almighty been reading my private thoughts, sensing
my dream of harnessing Ruach? And is he moving to block my
dream by giving creative power to someone else?
For the first time in my existence, I feel a strange new
sensation. Joy is draining out of my life. In its place is something
cold and frightening, as ifan intruder is taking command ofmy soul.
Eon 97, Age 4461.1
More information! Andrade, my close friend from Echelon 5,
has been assigned to the creation party, and he brings more details.
As rumored, only one orb will be populated at first, a planet to be
called "Earth." It will be lighted by a fairly small sun and joined to
a system of void planets, which I expect the Three will use for
colonization at some future time. The surrounding galaxy will be of
only average size.
The beings there will indeed have the power to replicate
themselves, and thus bring more of their own kind into existence.
But Andrade says they must act together to produce new life: neither
of them can accomplish it alone. So, in effect, they will really be
onlyonel
One being, multiple persons, the power to produce life - it's
all therel These new beings will, in a way, be an image ofthe Three.
lwonder: does he know how far I have advanced in my search
for thlequation of cosmos? Every spare moment I work on it. Once
I WU 10 ablorbed in my calculations I even missed a call from the
Thl'Olll.Arohon was there, looking on, and I sensed that he was
scann.... ."mlnd. He looked a little sad, but said nothing.
But Ithe lenses that I am nearing a solution of the mystery,
can this new or&, with its creator-beings, be his way of blocking my
access to the thront'1lfthey were given the mystery before me, then
the throne could rapidly fill with his forces, diluting anything I could
ever hope to achieve.
" , ,"'-., .,.
FOl'the first time in my life, I feel the seiisation ofrage. I think
ofhim and my inner befug boils with pain. I am
, "
"
16
THE LUCIFER DIARY
toward a conclusion that once seemed unthinkable. Perhaps I should
challenge the Throne!
I must talk to Andrade.
Eon 97, Age 4463.4
Andrade is a true friend. He, too, is disturbed by the news and
has volunteered to search discreetly around his command for others
who feel the same. But I must talk to many more, for we need the
force of numbers. I will sound out Marconides, commander of the
Primary Echelon. Then there is Marcolith, and Zedronn, and
Barshok...the list grows rapidly in my mind, and soon I have a dozen
bright, influential leaders to whom I can propose a daring gamble:
I'll suggest we demand a greater voice in cosmic government.
I have the start of an organization!
Eon 97, Age 4463.9
Brenzar and his subordinate rank commanders came by today,
a routine courtesy call on their way to an assignment near Magelon,
and I had a chance to sound them out as well. Brenzar and I have
never worked closely, but he has often worked with Telzon, and I
decided to try an approach I've never used before. I told him
something Telzon said recently, but I left out part of the
conversation. The effect was to make it seem as ifTelzon were fully
committed to my side - which, of course. he isn't. Indeed, he's a
mindless loyalist and I think he's going to be a problem for me.
But my ploy worked perfectly! Nobody here has ever heard
anything but absolute truth, so Brenzar accepted everything I said,
and because of his travel assignment he won't be able to talk to
Telzon for at least two ages. That means I have just bought two Byel
of hard work for nothing! He will spread my point-of-view al he
travels, thus accelerating our plan throughout that whole octant 0'
the Second Ring.
,
Doing this seem. I have never before dlfled
the... 00IIft.Ie la.w th..at. I!*'1 trutr Rut then, what I. eN"?
n;,n.fIooSll'l it" depend 011' time, Ind plloe, and
.. . .
17
THE LUCIFER DIARY
circumstances? And isn't "truth" subordinate to the nobility ofone's
goals? I have embarked on a noble quest, to lift all creation to the
status of gods. Surely such a dream is more important than a rigid,
mindless law.
The AlmIghty will, of course, dispute my reasoning, arguing
that truth is absolute. But, come to think of it, that may give me a
powerful advantage over him. He says truth is absolute; I argue it is
relative. Thus I can fight on territory He can't enter!
Fight...the word sends chills up my back, but I may as well be
candid with myself. A battle is beginning. And if! fight, then I must
strike without mercy. Hesitation is weakness; weakness is
cowardice; cowardice is failure.
I cannot fail.
Eon 97, Age 4465.0
The work goes on. I've talked personally with over half the
leading deputies, some ofwhom made it clear they are not interested
in my ideas. Benedan, in particular, could be trouble, and I'll have
to watch the throne very carefully to see that he does not gain an
audience. But the worst is Gabriel. He is an ardent loyalist, and his
rank is so high I do not know if 1can stop him. I am worried about
him.
But just a moment! Maybe there is a way around the problem:
why not try to neutralize his influence? I'll spread rumors about
hbn,OIlUng into question hisjudgrnent during the Pleiades matter.
111,""- others to doubt his leadership, no one will care what he

1;'
Truth shaped by situations and circumstances. It is
an awesome '-ovation even the Almiahty may not be able to
overcome.
Eon 97, Age 4470.0
Things could not bejoihg to over halfthe
echelon and brigade leMirs - influential millions of
subordinates under their commands - and huge hayejoined
18
THE LUCIFER DIARY
me. Now, when I call the Assembly to order at the throne, I see
friendly faces scattered everywhere throughout the ranks, and we
exchange knowing glances, for our revolution is gaining momentum.
I nod discreetly at some of them now, as I stand just in front of the
throne and raise my hand, summoning the Assembly to order.
But wait: instead of looking at me they are staring in
bewilderment at the throne!
Turning to see what has happened, I find that EI Shaddai has
taken personal command. He is standing!
There is a sudden hush, more powerful than the impact from
an exploding star. Roiling with embarrassment, I awkwardly step
down into the ranks, joining the brigade leaders in the Primary
Echelon. Marconides takes a self-conscious step backward, as if to
suggest that I replace him in front ofthe Echelon's command honor
guard. I wave him back, and slink into the ranks of the First
Deputies. They avert their eyes.
EI Shaddai begins to speak. His voice rolls like thunder across
the Stones of Fire, and the floor blazes with a deep azure light, and
his words go right through my soul.
"I love you all," he begins, "more than you can ever know.
Since the morning ofcreation I have dreaded this moment, but I have
always known that it would come."
He pauses, and the silence is dreadfuI. I steal a quick glance to
the left and see Beldizon, his body tense, his face racked with a
strange anxiety I have never seen before. Everyone is quiet, even the
Flying Ones far above us, who wait in silence, their faces and feet
covered by shining wings. The Almighty continues speaking.
"In the beginning, before I crafted a single life, I had a deciNion
to make: should I give you freedom or should I control your will.?
The latter would have guaranteed your obedience, but it would havi
robbed you ofthe most preciou.s. g.....ii .caan give you. libort)', It would ...flJRft.
also have robbed Jlfrot'tqer"'l'rt(cious ~ i n )IOU Oln IIYI,
lpontaneous 10)le. :."'i....' . ., ,
~ . . r '
19
THE LUCIFER DIARY
"So I gave you liberty, knowing that somewhere in the distant
future it could be misused."
Marconides is in obvious pain. His neck seems tied in hideous
knots and hisjaw is working nervously, and Zedronn, three echelons
back, is little better off. It takes no gift of genius to see where all this
is headed: J've been discovered!
"Now," he continues, "listen to a parable. Once, in a distant
quadrant of the cosmos, there was a galaxy of wondrous size: its
suns could be seen for a billion light ages, and its presence held the
whole quadrant together, for its gravitation was very great. But it
rebelled, and loosed off on a course of its own, headed for distant
space.
"I shall pose a question: what was the result?"
He pauses while his words reverberate across the assembly
ground, and he waits, as if expecting an answer.
Well, the answer is obvious. Even the mostjunior angels in the
10th echelon can see it: an out-of-control galaxy of monster size,
departing its assigned route - its gravitational pull would drag half
the quadrant with it. And what then? Sooner or later there would be
1II110n that would shatter the universe.
fl,* He never does answer the question. He lets us answer it in our
*1ItId1, and the implications are uncomfortably clear. A rogue
areat influence, dragging others with it into a path of
hll.lk.""describing me.
:' b with dread, for the acculation from the throne, '.',
but It" , ," , e. Instead, he directs our aaze to the river of light
that rippt' " ' " our feet. It is a new color we have never seen in
the Stones deep, glowing green, bright as the fabled
mountains of AJIIen, planet whose climate is locked in perpetual
spring.
"The color you ... a gift for you. Green is
a mixture of blue and &Id,just ilia. blend of two great
truths. I will speak colors, and what
. .
20
II'"
THE LUCIFER DIARY
"Blue represents mycosmic law. It holds the universe together.
Without law, nothing would be safe."
The vast assembly nods mutely. Without law, the ring systems
and their galaxies would collide, and the whole cosmos would be in
danger. Everyone knows that - especially those of us who have
crossed the axial junction ofthe Inner Ring, where force fields from
the huge Regina formation all intersect. I never go there without
being dumbfounded by their complexity and awed at the perfection
of a law that can keep such powerful forces in order.
Suddenly Ruach probes my soul, and I can barely endure it.
What have I done? Have my dreams led me to spurn a law I have
always loved? How could I have been so blind as to think that good
can come from a violation oftruth? The Eternal One looks briefly at
me, his eyes filled with a strange longing, and then he continues.
"Now I shall speak of the second component of green, the
color gold. It, too, represents something. Long ago, when the
universe began, I saw this day coming. I knew that some of you
would make a mistake, but I couldn't bear to give you up. For that
reason I crafted something called mercy. It is represented by the
color gold. And this color, blended with the blue of law, produces
the azure light I have sent through the Stones of Fire. I have found
a way to join law and mercy."
Mercy. The term is strange. We have never heard it before, and
he explains it further. It is, he says, a way back. Someone who errs
can, if he wishes, find restoration.
At this point Ruach searches my soul again, with such intensity
that I almost sink to my knees. Green. Law and mercy. Justice and
forgiveness. A way hack from the brink. So I have not come too far
- not yet?
I am overwhelmed with the desire to step forward and ask for
this Sift he calls mercy, this azure blending of law and forgivene
that would let me go .b. ... moments Ruach 101m. tQ
draw m. with a for._ as if ht would. If ".t'hans.,alIfiost pli).;sical
allowed. carry ml.ethrone. But he canno,. I aluno can makt thl
c,
\
21
THE LUCIFER DIARY
decision.
For an instant my being tenses and I almost move. But...
...but a thought sweeps over me. If! reverse myself now, what
will happen to my high position? Even ifhe took me back, I'd almost
certainly lose my station at the throne, and would probably have to
join the winged messengers who run errands around the outer
empire. I couldn't face that.
Then, too, what about the mysterious being known as the Son?
The question remains: is he really one ofthe Three, or, as I have told
myself, is he a created being who found a way to claim the throne?
Could I ever accept him as King?
At this moment, as if reading my mind, EI Shaddai calls him
to the throne.
"He is a part of myself. He.... is... holy...." The words roll
outward across the expanse of fiery crystal, and then the Almighty
issues a command:
"Let all the assembly ofang,'s wor.'ihip Him. "
Something unbelievable happenl. Th.y have never sung before
unless I directed them. But suddenly and spontaneously the
Assembly breaks into the anthem.
"Unto Him that sits enthroned'" 'lflii" - the words fill the
huae place and reverberate offthe waUI'of,tM City. Far above us the
Flyln. Ones sound the antiphonal chOftllJ.oly, Holy, Holy, "and
my louljult melts. Why have I ..... ,'. '.. ' '.' '1 Why have I played .... ,
these uMlI'Yln. aames with truth? It II .' . UI that he knows what
I have done. Why, then, does he give ". lecond chance?
For the third time I feel that quiet "-fowerful call that almost
pulls me to the threIlt.l nearly go. holds me back:
what will they all
I have . early a hundred eons. !
Untold billions have c... '..... ' . and g ... '.. . tiO.n. How can I tell
them all that I was w '" 'And doetn"t ha\r, be loyal, first
t\';. " ...' '".il."
'\ ;
I I
THE LUCIFER DIARY
and foremost, to one's own mind? Why must 1 surrender my dream
to anyone?
Slowly the moment passes, and 1 feel Ruach leave me. 1 no
longer have the desire to confess anything. And then 1feel something
elseI've never experienced before-raw, naked fear. I've challenged
the mystery of cosmos and set my dream on the highest star, and
now1feel as ifI've embarked on a strangejourney from which there
is no return.
1am alone.
Eon 97, Age 4472
Alone. The word plagues me every moment. Hordes of my
followers desert me and go back to the Assembly. No longer do 1go
to the throne. 1 drift about the outer edge of the Stones of Fire,
searching for familiar faces and seeing pity and withdrawal in many.
Whatever am 1 to do? 1 have gone too far. Even the cosmic
mystery evades me. For a time 1thought I could actually integrate
the entire equation of cosmos, but when 1 took it to the fortieth
power often it suddenly went blank 1was approaching infinity, and
my mind simply couldn't travel further.
Too far - I have gone too far.
Eon 97, Age 4472.1
But have I? An exciting thought just came to mind. Maybe he
has a weak point, this gift of liberty he so praises. What if he were
challenged with force? Force can only be repelled by force
something he has said he cannot use. Ifhe thus limits himself, what
is to keep me from physically seizing the throne?
Thrilled with the excitement of this new idea, I set to work. r
will assemble an anny and attack him! And to stop deserter!! from
leaving my ranks, 1concoct another ploy: I will tell them that merc)'
is an illusion -thatthey, like me, have gone too far to turn baok.and
their only hope of surviyW,is to fight!
!'", ...,
23
THE LUCIFER DIARY
Eon 97, Age 4472.2
My scheme is working! I will never forget the look of terror I
saw in the faces ofthe first group when I proposed my syllogism:
The law is absolute. We have broken the law. Therefore we are
judged absolutely by it.
Mercy is an illusion. The green we saw was an illusion. There
is no going back. Now our choice is very simple: we can either make
a fight of it or face destruction. Fight or surrender. Live or die.
Shaken with fear, they flock back to my command by the
billions - about one-third of the whole cosmic army. Now I have a
force with which to fight.
This is war.

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