THINGY (thing-ee)n.

Female: Any part under a car's hood Male: The strap fastener on a woman's dress VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel)adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another Male: Playing football without a helmet COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon)n. Female: The opensharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner Male: Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment)n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book Male: Anything that can be done while fishing, and ends with food FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens)n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion Male: A source of entertainment, self-statement REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl)n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another Male: A device for scanning all 175 channels every 5 minutes Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river and ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes.