Z-Zuhs Kiss

FOREWORD (Washington D.C.) The verses u see in ur screen as u read are the first ones that I ever write. They have rhythm and rhyme, plus they follow a lead, I was careful 2 fit them quite tight. These lines r about a young girl I loved much, she lived far far away, out of reach. Now Z-zuh, a friend, not behaving as such fell 4 her and occasioned a breach. Chapter 1 z a mail that I sent quite depressed once she told me she was thim attracted. U are free, girl, 2 do as u wish Ihd expressed while my heart, in despair, had contracted. I tried cheering her up, but 2 no good avail, she was sad, didnt know what 2 do So I said Hey, Ill write u a positive mail, its OK! that z alln Chapter 2. Disregarding my plead she was soon by him kissed and suggested that I should not come. Well, I did! Chapter 3 tells of how Iws dismissed as if I was no better than scum. Chapter 4, I feel, z what justifies all, it condenses the lessons Ive gained. They will help me, no doubt, in my life not 2 fall and will show that Im all set and trained.

CHAPTER 1 First mail: Do as u wish (Moscow) How are u, my love? Quite confused so I hear, it z me whos got mixed feelings now, Im not doubting my liberal views, dont u fear! but theres something that went wrong somehow. U know logic and reason I trust above all, when they conquer tradition Im proud. For defying the stupid old ways z my call May I say this not shyly, but loud. Every sentence was right, every word, yes, I meant I said Go, its ur moment 2 try! If u dont do it now u may have 2 lament That u didnt find quite the right guy. But if Im standing here right in front of ur face And conceive me as ur soul mate u did, then why would u have the damn urge 2 replace me 4 some other man or a kid? If u are fantasizing about other men, then my music z not the right song. U dont have 2 become a great master in Zen to realize that theres something quite wrong. U blame the whole story on my absence, I dont. If ure right, u will loose me 4 sure, because coming 2 Moscow u probably wont and yet loneliness, u cant endure. Now what if u are wrong? Oh my God, THAT I fear! It would be 2 my heart like a shot. I would die if one day it would seem 2 u clear that deep down, ur true soul mate Im not. Whats the matter, my girl? What z wrong? damn, I wonder. Say what z it that I cant provide? My whole brain z in storm, I am deaf by thick thunder. Its the music of truth I cant hide.

CHAPTER 2 Second mail: Stay w/me (Moscow) Good morning, my girl, do u know why Im here? Can u guess, or the answer z shady? Yes, I hope that eventually on line ull appear and Id love 2 say hi 2 milady. That z just what I want, thats my innermost hope as I write all these strokes and kill time. As I wait and I think about how with u cope finding words 2 create a fine rhyme. Hours ago I sat down and made up a few verses which I thought quite reflected my mind. But u know, oh surprise! No nice words, only curses is what in them I did come 2 find. Yes, its true, what I wrote was upsetting, obscure, it was also annoying and sad. Why did I scrib those words, ure so nice and so pure, shouldnt I be not gloomy, but glad? Anyway, let us talk about why ure attracted to those foreign young men that u know, and the crazy wrong way in which u rather acted even though 2 ur country Ill soon go. For the sake of example, 4 a while lets pretend that u cant live without my sweet touch. Be as it may, u proposed 2 start dating a friend, do u need a real lover THAT much? Inexperienced, are u? Wait a sec! Are u crazy? U have known quite a number of men! So u should know by now, without doubt, nothing hazy that u wont find a guy like me again. Let me ask u, if I may, was it ur dads advice that induced u 2 think of farewell? Du believe that a nice guy as Z-zuhll suffice to break free of the chains of my spell?

I dont think it adds up, this z still not enough. Let us see what the zodiac will bring. What the heck! What the fuck! It z all crapy stuff! Damn those lies! what a very bad thing. Let us read what the stars have 2 say about us. Ure both heavy what!!! Not good together? Well, its all just fat lies, ure no truck, Im no bus, Hell! Were light just as water and feather. Ur intuition z great, u have such a strong mind, Im emotional, psessive and caring. It z obvious 2 me that were just the right kind, while ure fragile and timid, Im daring. And what about sex, should there be any attraction? Well its written were not quite OK. But again, the Gods have not yet seen us in action, So my ass! what the zodiac may say. So now that its clearer what happened 2 u Let us see what went on through my head. Why on Earth did I push u again 2 the blue and decided 2 say what I said? Didnt I say go and try, find a guy, put me aside? Didnt I mention that u should explore? Oh! how stupid of me, oh! how full of damn pride To let go of the girl I adore! Please allow me 2 ask, dont u search anymore I am done, I am through, stay with me! For I am the right man, 4 u my heart z sore Im the 1 with which ure meant 2 b. Am I ready 2 growl? Am I ready 2 bite? Will I take compromise, not ignore? Oh! my future with u looks so deep n so bright that Im actually ready 2 roar! When u feel that ure down or that there z no choice come 2 me and I will take command, I will soothe u and caress u with my thoughts and voice And Ill kiss u while holding ur hand. For ure mine and Im urs, I will not let u down, ure my future, my hope and my heart. For our love 2 ever float, 4 it never 2 drown we will find a way, baby, we are smart!

CHAPTER 3 Written on the streets: The end (Cairo) Oh my God, its the end! What am I gonna do? I was dumped at the airport, I swear! All my fears came 2 life, she just told me were thru! Whattt!! Another damn test I should bear? Was my love not enough? Was our shining not good? Was there anything better out there? I can hardly believe that she so changed her mood, That shed swap my deep love 4 thin air. She had told me Id be stuck to her 4 quite long, is it so? with a smirk I had asked. She had said youve no clue how tremendously strong is the spell that on you I have cast. Not so long ago, here, at this very same place She had asked me if wed marry some day. Well of course I would, silly! Ihd replied to her face, we will do it as soon as we may. But it all went downhill, we did not become ripe, driving home we were silent and cold. Our connection, Id say, had been better thru Skype, I felt tired, bored, stupid n old. When it dawned upon me that the cards had been played and I should have caressed the young miss, she just blurted Im falling for Z-zuh Im afraid and I had to freeze up my first kiss. There was no time to say or reply I love YOU, my heart froze and my systems got stuck. All I thought of was Hell, what am I gonna do, Ill fall dead and she wont give a fuck! But to say the whole truth I would have to admit That the pain didnt come to me storming. The most terrible blow, can you guess when it hit? Yes, it did when I woke up next morning.

As I got out of bed, well I started to cry, desperation took over like theft. And I thought Oh my God! If I stay I will die! so I packed up my stuff and I left. Then I roamed around all over Cairo and made mends As I tried to bring peace to my soul. I smoked shisha, drank coffee, conversed and made friends As they helped me get out of my hole. As I smoked up and thought, and tears rolled down my eyes a man came in and sat next to me. He saw I was broken, he waved way the flies, and said cmon, man, at least youre now free. Then another, who brought a backgammon, joined in and the dice kindly gave me to toss. He remarked that self pity in Islam was a sin, gave me a wink and said Brother, HER loss! So thats how I plunged into Cairos old streets, all I wanted 2 do was tget lost, to discover much more than the eye really meets and get over my girl at all cost. What I saw was mind blowing, a trip to the past, I went back to Christs time or more. The range of impressions was simply so vast That it helped! It hurt less than before. I saw kids in the dirt who were playing barefoot But they seemed quite content and enjoyed. I saw fathers slap faces of kids, yes so brute, but then hug them, thus love not destroyed. I teamed up with old men that could barely chew and with young ones with beards thin as threads, I befriended a salesman and all of his crew, we connected, both clean shaven heads! I heard prayer, I saw faith, there was love, there was trust, its not Money the God around here. Oh! of course there is commerce, to eat, well, they must! But its friendship what they most revere. I smelled fragrances, odors, heard laughter and voices in a city my heartll always keep. I became fully attached to those millions of noises that will taint with new colors my sleep.

CHAPTER 4 The lessons (Heathrow Dulles) Lets be positive, man, let us see what weve learned from this wonderful girl and her ways well, the first an foremost piece of knowledge I earned is to trust what the Universe says. We are ruled by big laws of which little we know, We should always try t see the big picture. Read the signs, trust them all, let the Universe show that lifes not black and white, but a mixture. It is not about luck, things dont happen just bcz, there is always a story behind. The big problem z understanding the cause but we will, if the future is kind. Is it all written down? Or its not let us talk. But theres one truth that I cant let fall: all the might of the Universe hit me as a rock when I saw Z-zuhs name on a wall. Act with love and with care, you be good now, my friend, you know karmas around, cant you see? So believe me if I say, theres a balance at the end, if u dont, look what happened to me. Id been selfish, unkind, worst of all, I had lied, pushed my family away and lost touch. To make good amendments I hadnt quite tried so, you see, if not all, Ive paid much. To have a great life, to be happy, to shine, find a partner with which to connect. Fight for her, dont let go, tell her Baby, ure mine! Give her love, give her warmth and respect. Ive been dumped now and well been left out in the cold, My advices I should follow thru. I will go to the States, fix my problems, be bold, It is high time that I pay whats due.

It is time to make closure, dont wanna be rude But lifes ticking, I have to move on. So before I go I would like to conclude In what way did this all on me dawn. I will make it a point to shine more than the sun, Not just give, also take wont be a fool. I will keep my eyes open and trusting the One Ill relax, let the Universe rule. EPILOGUE (Heathrow) When already at Heathrow I sat for a rest a young woman came nicely to me, and admiring the shisha that hung from my chest she asked where had I happened to be. Oh, please no, no not now, I dont want to even start To explain my adventures, not yet! Ive been nowhere I said as I stood up to part, I bought this cool device thru the net. Go out there, connect, do engage, find a mate! Get experiences, real and true. For believe my, my friend, in this life thats so great you only learn when things happen to you.

April 2012 Russia