The Art of Trolling

What is Trolling ?
Internet 'trolling' is the anti-social act of causing of interpersonal conflict and shock-value controversy online. Named for the wicked troll creatures of children's tales, trolling is purposely sowing hatred, bigotry, racism, misogyny, or just simple bickering between others. Trolls themselves are emotionally-immature users who thrive in any environment where they are allowed to make public comments, like blog sites, news sites, discussion forums, and game chat.

What Is an Internet 'Troll'? How Should I Deal With Trolls?

An internet 'troll' is an abusive and obnoxious user who promotes hate and disharmony in online communities. Named after the wicked troll creatures of children's tales, an internet troll is someone who stirs up drama and abuses their online anonymity by purposely sowing hatred, bigotry, racism, mysogyny, or just simple bickering between others. Trolls like a big audience, so they frequent blog sites, news sites, discussion forums, and game chat. Trolls thrive in any environment where they are allowed to make public comments.

The Sad Truths of Internet Trolls:

1. Trolls are immune to criticism and logical arguments. True trolls cannot be reasoned with, regardless of how sound your logical argument is. 2. Trolls do not feel remorse like you and me. They have sociopathic tendencies, and accordingly, they delight in other people having hurt feelings. 3. Trolls consider themselves separate from the social order. 4. Trolls do not abide by etiquette or the rules of common courtesy. 5. Trolls consider themselves above social responsibility. 6. Trolls gain energy by you insulting them. 7. Trolls gain energy when you get angry. 8. The only way to deal with a troll is to ignore him, or take away his ability to post online.

How Should I Deal With Internet Trolls?

You cannot win with a troll. Publicly retaliating against them just fuels their childish need for attention. There are only 3 reliable ways to deal with trolls, all of which focus on removing their audience, removing their power, and depriving them of the attention they seek. 1. For a casual or emergent troll: completely ignore the person's postings. While it is difficult for most users to to let a troll have the last word, this tactic successfully takes the wind out of a casual troll's sails. 2. For repeating troll offenders: report them to the moderators of the system. If enough people report the toll, this will often prompt the moderators to take action (see number 3 below) 3. Have the moderators take away the troll's ability to post online. This will commonly mean that the troll is kicked from the system, or blocked by IP address. Even better is when the troll is allowed to continue posting, but unbeknownst to him: all of his postings are deleted from everyone else's view. This will lure the troll into wasting his efforts while still feeling proud of his childish antics. This moderator move is sometimes called 'muting' or 'bonzo-ing' the offender.
2

Where Do You Find Internet Trolls?

Internet trolls are sadly common. They can be found wherever online users interact with each other. Trolls will abuse others in news blogs, political discussion forums, hobbyist communities online, Facebook pages, torrent search engine conversations, and in online game chat. Trolls have become very common in news sites. Many online news sources now avoid using open comment features because so many internet trolls will use this venue to post abusive comments as responses to news articles.

How Exactly Do Internet Trolls Abuse Others?

Internet trolls seek to be disruptive and hurtful by using any of the following techniques: 1. Trolls will post abusive and hurtful comments directed at a specific person (aka "flaming" another person) 2. Trolls will incite broad arguments and provoke angry responses by making controversial statements. (e.g. racism, religious intolerance, bigoted or elitist views, mysogyny, extreme political views) 3. Trolls will narcissistically dominate conversations, trying to make themselves the center of attention. (e.g. nonstop comments about themselves and their accomplishments; repeated self-centered statements and bragging) 4. Trolls will start many off-topic threads, seeking to derail users from the focus of an online community.

Why Do People Enjoy Being Internet Trolls?

Ans: it is a kind of power rush or ego trip to be a troll. Being online is a place that is largely free of perceived consequences... an insecure person can get a sense of power online, without ever having to face someone directly. With the Internet being a world of imagination and fantasy for some, cowardly users can forge an alter ego for themselves, and act out their feelings of anger and inadequacy. It's sad and unfortunate that our advanced communications also brings out the darker side of many people.

Guide to Internet Trolling

Nowadays, the phenomenon of trolling other people online is considered a bad thing. But it has not always been so. Trolling was a noble cause once, perpetrated by Usenet veterans, who would pull simple and innocent general ignorance type of jokes on unsuspecting newbies. There was much rejoicing and a handful of tears, but in the end, people learned through whimsical, violent allegories. Lately, trolling has become synonymous with mass spam and viral videos, with regurgitated catch phrases and inane jokes practiced by more computer savvy against the webplebes. Now, how about we reverse that? I'd like to shatter this dreadful image and revitalize trolling as a noble learn of studying. To wit, I've compiled this guide to help you get around. Here, you will learn what trolling is and what it isn't, and how to use it to boost the quality of the Internet as a whole.

Introduction to Trolling & Etiquette

There's a saying, don't feed the trolls. In a way, it's true. But then, look at the whole thing from a different perspective. If online discussions are all the colors of the rainbow, trolling is mucky gray bordering on black. If quality is defined by the number of views in Youtube channels, trolling is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You may loathe it, but you can't deny the impact. And if you pause to think for moment or three, you might find a speck of higher genius hidden somewhere. Feeding trolls is like website traffic. Controversy, anger, hatred, and baseless flaming breed popularity. Then again, when something is utterly stupid, there might be no hidden meaning. So what you perceive as trolling or an attempt thereof could in fact be nothing more than a stellar example of oligophrenia in the ASCII form. So how do you know good trolling from bad trolling? Simple. You read this guide and all shall be revealed. This guide will teach you to separate the simple from savant, clickbait from roundhousekickbait, spot the fake, spot the lame, when to chuckle, when to use the forbidden language of LOL, when not to take heed, when to ignore your online challengers, and when to take things seriously. You'll get taxonomy, laughter, stupid fun, some mass media gratification, and the know-how to wade the hip waters of online groovy. Lastly, it is important to remember never to troll people who can't understand they are being trolled, even if you explain it to them. This does not apply to just being plain stupid, socially inept or too kool. It's about who people choose to be, not how they were born. Now, let's dig in deeper.

The five faces of Trolling

Your journey through the misty forest of trolling will take you across the painfully repeated use of graphics and words that depict the trollosphere. While the general rule says that phrases are inversely proportional to the number of times they are used, some survive the eroding of quality and become instant, all-spectrum legends. Others becomes retro-funny or negativefunny, but still funny. Time to get familiar with the five aspects of the trolling entity. Let's see them.
The original Trollface

This is the face that started it all. No one would have believed, in the last years of the twentieth century, that a simple and innocent MS Paint job would grow into a titanic legend. Trollface is like Yakety Sax. No occasion is too sacred to use with or against. P.S. If you don't know what Yakety Sax is, or who Benny Hill is, please hit the tubes this very moment, check what this is, get blazed, and then get back to reading.

Use case: When things go wrong. Anything.

Forever Alone

This is probably the wittiest drawing of a crying spud ever made. If you gaze closely, you will notice the scrunched potato face on its tripod actually wears a semi-amused half-grin expression that wavers between sad and smug. And there's no way of knowing the truth. As such, it may yet become the new Da Vinci code. Use case: Any situation where one or more parties get the short end of a stick, but deep down, feels glad of the outcome. For instance, when you NOT get invited to other people's weddings. In the first heartbeat, there's the fleeting moment of disappointment, the flicker of abandonment and panic, quickly replaced by a warm, gushing feeling. Not only do you need not participate in another tribal ritual that is absolutely identical to every other wedding ceremony, you save money and time.

Y U No

Y U No, alternatively spelled Why U No or Why You No, sometimes capitalized, sometimes not, is the ultimate form of disagreement with the world at large, and specific things at small. Whenever someone tries to argue with your cunning, use Y U No to blow them apart. Y U No also has many political and cultural undertones, which makes it even funnier. Use case: Any disagreement with anything.

Rage Face

Much like Forever Alone, Rage Face and its variant Rage FU (the upgraded version) hides a tricky second-layer of emotion beneath the obvious displeasure. You see rage twitching the facial muscles, but then you wonder why there's that calm, relaxed undertone in the expression you're seeing. Ambiguity like that can be maddening. Use case: Like Forever Alone, except you are truly disappointed. Or when your printer runs out of ink. Or when you download a movie and it turns out to be dubbed. Or when you realize the online form you just filled gets blanked when you accidentally refresh the page. Of course, like many others, it can be found in different forms,shapes and sizes.

Me Gusta

This face is what Beethoven had in mind when he wrote the Ode to Joy. If you look closely, you'll realize it's the twin brother of Y U No, but let not subtlety confuse you. Me Gusta saves you the hassle of spilling your emotions into prose. Rather than hammering four paragraphs on your germ-infected keyboard about how your trip to Ibiza was great, just write Me Gusta. The simple Spanish phrase crosses all linguistic barrier and makes your innermost feeling plain writ to all. Use case: When you feel satisfied or smug.

10

Useful phrases
Now, if you want to impress your wife or her parents, here's a handful of phrases you must embrace, so that your linguistic skills match your graphics skills. Using images is fine, but what do you do when you're engaged in a heated conversation with other people and there's no computer nearby? Be versed, talk the talk and walk the walk. In no particular order:

Over 9000 - Means a lot. Moar - Means more, but in a much more [sic] meaningful way. Party Hard - Can be used to denote a person's stellar ability to party like no other. For example, Samuel parties hard. Make sure you use the phrase sparingly and without too much detail, leaving the other party [sic] wondering whether you were being supportive or condescending. A challenger appears - There's going to be trouble. The Internet Police is going to badass their way in. All Your Base Are Belong To Us - My oldtime favorite. Less usable in conversation, but extremely handy in written topics. The word Base can be replaced with anything you like. Us can be replaced with anything too. For example, All Your Software Are Belong To Bill is a great way to raise awareness to, say a new Windows update that people suspect is part of the greater New World Order (not the band) slash Big Brother conspiracy to control people's minds and pr0n. <X>? In my <Y>? - Can be used for anything. A good example is: Financial crisis? In my economy? Used to express complete doubt or skepticism with supposed evidence or facts at hand. While the subtle tone of mockery could undermine the severity of your criticism, don't be discouraged and persist with rhetoric fun. I accidentally <X> - Where X is a noun of some kind. For example, I accidentally the coffee.

And many others. But that's good enough for now.

11

How to troll people

It's very simple. People who deserve trolling are all around you. Stick to the etiquette and then look for vulnerable prey. Once you find it, you have two options: Try to use logic to explain to the other party the fallacy of their arguments and opinions, which is always pointless, or throw them off balance with an utterly preposterous and completely opposite stance to whatever they claim, even if you totally disagree with your own rebuttal. Indeed, people hardly ever listen to others. They sometimes don't even listen to themselves, they just like the aural harmonics of their mouth spewing verbal diarrhea, or in the case of typing, the awesome sound of self-narration playing inside their heads, also known as the Unwarranted Self-Importance (USI) syndrome. Therefore, you being reasonable and polite in fact strengthens their opinions and perpetuates the problematic elements. Fighting head to head is a lost battle. But using anti-ballistic trolling always works. For example, how do you argue with someone who claims the Earth is flat or that aliens are visiting us on a daily basis? Do you really think scientific evidence will work at this point? Think carefully. You can ignore them, but silence is acceptance, plus you won't really feel satisfied until you fire back. Trolling is your special weapon.
Now, for less serious cases of moral deterioration, there's a different type of trolling.

Subsection - Rickrolling and Trololol

One of the best way to earn lulgolds is to send links to Youtube videos, claiming they are whatever, but make sure they point to either Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up or Eduard Khil's Trololol song. If you're not familiar with either, run away now. You might be excused if you don't know the latter, but this is a great opportunity to get familiar with some proper Soviet trolling. For the fun of it, embedded here, plus links for those of you who don't like embedded stuff. And real links, not links to something else claiming to be something else. This is a case of recursive trolling, also known as divide by zero.

12

Rickrolling

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up (link)

Astley recorded "Never Gonna Give You Up" on his 1987 album Whenever You Need Somebody. The song, his solo debut single, was a number one hit on several international charts, including the Billboard Hot 100, Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks and UK Singles Chart. As a means of promoting the song, it was also made into Astley's first music video, which features him performing the song while dancing. Rickrolling is said to have begun as a variant of an earlier prank from the imageboard 4chan known as duckrolling, in which a link to somewhere (such as a specific picture or news item) would instead lead to a thread or site containing an edited picture of a duck with wheels. The user at that point is said to have been "duckrolled". The first known instance of a rickroll occurred in May 2007 on 4chan's video game board, where a link to the Rick Astley video was claimed to be a mirror of the first trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV (which was unavailable due to heavy traffic). The joke was confined to 4chan for a very brief period. By May 2008, the practice had spread beyond 4chan and became an Internet phenomenon, eventually attracting coverage in the mainstream media. An April 2008 poll by SurveyUSA estimated that at least 18 million American adults had been rickrolled. In September 2009, Wired magazine published a guide to modern hoaxes which listed rickrolling as one of the better known beginner-level hoaxes, alongside the fake e-mail chain letter.

13

Trolololling Eduard Khil - Trololol (link)

Eduard Anatolyevich Khil (4 September 1934 4 June 2012) was a Russian baritone singer and a recipient of the People's Artist Award of the RSFSR. Khil became known to a western audience in 2010 when a 1976 recording of him singing a non-lexical vocable version of the song "I Am Glad, 'Cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home" became an Internet meme, known as "Trololololololololololo" or "Trololo". The name "Trololo" is an onomatopoeia of the distinctive way Khil vocalizes throughout the song. The quirky and catchy video quickly became an Internet meme and Khil became known as "Mr. Trololo" or "Trololo Man". The Trololo video first appeared on some sites beginning on 21 February 2010, the most prominent of those being the "Trololo" website trololololololololololo.com that rocketed the meme into popular awareness, receiving more than 3,000,000 hits in its first month. It gained prominence on 3 March during a segment on The Colbert Report after appearing on Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld a handful of times over the previous couple of weeks. It was also parodied by actor Christoph Waltz on Jimmy Kimmel Live! as well as Craig Reucassel on the Australian TV show "The Chaser", and in September 2011 on the animated American television series Family Guy in its tenth season premiere episode, "Lottery Fever".

The "Trololo" meme in turn re-ignited interest in Khil's singing career aside from his vocalised performance; for a time, the "Trololo" website included a petition for Khil to come out of retirement to perform on a world tour.

14

Conclusion
That was long, but most necessary. Now, you know what trolling is all about and how it can be used to better the world. Trolling allows you to fight the online pollution on its own terms. Your friendly, conventional and chivalrous methods of yore do not apply here. Trolling is what must be used to sanitize the net. Hopefully, this beautiful guide has provided you with enough data to start enjoy and participating.

15