Topic Matrix Broad topic: Muslim Tradition Narrowed Topic: Muslim Courtship and Marriage Tradition Focused Topic:

Muslim Courtship and Marriage Tradition: From Early to Modern Practices Thesis Statement: The Muslim Courtship and Marriage Tradition have changed in the modern times.

Statements of the Problem: 1.) Are the elders approving of the changes? 2.) Who makes the decision on marriages 3.) Compare and contrast traditional and modern practices. 4.) Why did these changes happen? 5.) What are the responsibilities of the men and women? 6.) Are the changes practiced by every Muslims? 7.) Are the relationships with the other religions acceptable? Teens and elders point of view.

March 2012

OUTLINE

Title: The Muslim Courtship and Wedding Traditions Thesis Statement: The Muslim Courtship and marriage

Tradition have changed in the modern times.

I. Muslim Traditions A. Islam History: Importance of Marriage among Muslim Women B. Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his wives C. Practice of Polygamy II. Early Muslim courtship A. The people involve in the courtship B. Reason for courtship. C. How to choose spouse prospect. D. Dating manner E. Decision is made by: 1. 2. 3. 4. F. Engagement III. Modern Muslim courtship A. New communication technology 1. technologies involve Mother and father grandparents elder brother and sister He

2. Its influences B. How to choose spouse prospect C. Dating manner D. Decision is made by: 1. 2. He and She Parents

E. Engagement. IV. Early Muslim Marriages A. Responsibilities B. Male dominations C. Practice of Polygyny D. Most prevalent Types: 1. 2. Child Marriage 3. A. Divorce V. Modern Muslim Marriages A. Responsibilities of men B. Responsibilities of women C. Female dominations D. Most prevalent Types: 1. Modern arranged marriage with courtship 2. Diplomatic marriage Diplomatic marriage Arranged marriage

3. Interfaith Marriage 4. Child Marriage E. Practice of Polygyny F. Divorce VI. Courtship and Marriage Traditions and Practices of Muslims have changed through time as evidenced by: A. Evolution of Practices B. Elders point of view

This study is aimed in identifying and discussing some of the changes in the traditional practices of Marriage and courtship in Islam. This study is conducted to know whether these said changes have significantly affected the traditional and early practices in the style of courtship and marriage in Islam. Such changes have distinctively differentiated traditional and modern practices of marriage and courtship in the Islam society, concretizing the large influence of modernization and technologies of the 21st century. Thus, furthermore, places gap among the view points of the elders and the young adults of this generation. Marriage in Islam is the starting point to which a family begins to nurture. Importance of family in Islam is emphasized by Nasr (1961) in Islam (religion, history, and civilization): The Family, as he stated that

the family is seen by Muslims not only as a biological and social unit, but also as a religious unit that protects the individual member in a thousand ways.. Therefore constitutes the most basic unit in the fabric of Islamic society. Provided with the significance of Family sets marriage into the ideals of serious responsibility and endeavor among Muslims that is taken nonchalantly nor hastily. Marriage in Islam as well, according to history, is of great importance to Muslim women as it saved women from the degrading and unlawful treatment to them during the early years as stated in The Moslem Heritage: Islam and the Feminist Movement, Historians tell us that women in pagan Arabia and similar communities were considered by men to be accessories and possessions that could be bought, sold, and inherited.(Jubaira 1981). Islamic Belief in the importance of Marriage uplifted and rooted the dignities and the regards towards women even up until these days. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) presented and implemented the ideals and importance of Marriage but he was/is criticized because of his known practice of polygamy. Most people who do not know the real reason behind such practice of the Prophet speculates lust as the reason behind such doing. Exemplifying the real reason behind this practice, Leila Dabbagh stated in Taking Back Islam( American Muslim Reclaim Their Faith): Muhammads Legacy For Women that: The prophet Muhammad was married monogamously to his first wife, Khadija, for twenty years. When she died he cried and mourned deeply for her. The

multiple marriages in which he engaged afterwards were acts of kindness to his community: many of the women he married were either orphaned or widowed and had no kin to safeguard from the difficulties that awaited them physically and socially in the Arabian dessert. Some he married for political purposes--- to unite tribes and make peace. (Wolfe 2002). In addition, another clarification is presented in The Moslem Heritage: The Prophet Muhammad on Marriage, which affirmed that . Wars of conquests had let large number of women who would be taken as wives and supported as such. Living with them without the religious sanction of Islam was prohibited by the Prophet. And certainly they could not be treated as slaves for slavery was forbidden. In other words, plurality on wives during the time of the prophet was more of an obligation and a sacrifice on the part of the men than lust. Wives and daughters of Islamic faith had lost their breadwinners during the war and had to be fed and clothed by those who survived. (Jubaira 1981). It wasnt for feeding up the lust neither of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) nor of those men who followed the ways of the Prophet in order to care those women and children who were left alone and vulnerable towards the advances of the Arabian Dessert. On the other hand, Polygamy nor Polygyny were not encouraged or offered by the Islam Belief rather it was an exclusion further elaborated in The Moslem Heritage: Marriage and Morals Among Moslem Filipinos, Contrary to popular belief, monogamy is the general rule of

Islam, polygamy is nothing but an exception to the rule Polygamy is only resorted to when conditions demand it. Islam places polygamy under restrictions so that it will not be abused by those who maybe driven by sensual desires and lust for women a verse in the Quran runs thus: Then marry what seems to you of women, two, three, four (wives); but if ye fear that ye shall not act equitably, then one (wife) is enough. (Jubaira 1981). It is a paradoxical statement to the belief of most people regarding the polygamy practice of Muslims. Presently speaking such Practices are still done and misjudged by those of different perception and beliefs. Furthermore, Polygamy is not approved nor acknowledged if the first wifes acceptance and agreement is disregarded. Additionally, it was known that the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) had more than 4 wives, 12 to be exact. During the early times of the exemption of polygamy the Prophet feared that many would misunderstood and misuse this exemption so he passed the restriction of the numbers of wives to be taken by one man into four with the vision of restricting it to monogamy in the near future but the vision was not put into practice because the Prophet died at an early age. Moreover during early times it was not only the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and some of his men followers live out the practice of polygamy as evidence in The Moslem Heritage: Islam and the Feminist Movement statement, Multiple marriage was quite customary among the pagan Arabs as well as among earlier communities. The

testimony to this fact is recorded in the bible which repeatedly relates that many of the Jewish Kings had quite a number of wives. Furthermore, some Arabian tribes in pre-Islamic days satisfied their bigotry by burying their unwanted newly born female babies. (Jubaira 1981) This places polygamy as a practice during early times not only by the Muslims but by powerful men as well of other beliefs or religions. In the practice of Polygamy in Islam is neither about Lust nor the number of wives a man has but rather on equality a man is willing and able to provide among these women. Subjectively and objectively speaking polygamy is still an argument that has not been approved by the majority of the world but regardless of these the decision is still on both men and women.

Early courtship practices of Islam are known to be strict and supervised by the parents of the woman. Men need to compete and strive to gain the approval of the parents, but mostly, courtship is done by the man together with his parents. The man and the woman are not allowed to date or to talk privately, the woman will always have a chaperone with her whenever the man visits her at home. It is a tradition and a must that any visits from the man will only be entertained by the woman at her home and with the approval of her parents as well. As stated by Arranged marriage in Islam (retrieved on

January 20, 2012), Islam prohibits unmarried, unrelated men and women being alone together and physical relationships are not part of the meetings. This is a proscription that is strictly implemented and followed by the Muslim society of the early times. It is because courtship is not done so that both man and woman would be able foster an emotion towards each other but rather to assure and perceive any probable misreading of the future of the man and the woman, and their compatibility as a married couple. It is also believed that love would blossom not before but rather after and within marriage. Love grows stronger not through physical connection and emotion but rather through understanding and believing in the progress of their marriage. Another anecdote towards the perception of courtship and dating in Muslim tradition is specified in Courtship and Dating in Islam (retrieved on February 10, 2012), Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram). The Prophet also reportedly said, whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them. When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to lower their gaze and guard their modesty.... Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.

Courtship in the early times meant engagement or the first step to marriage. Once a man is approved by the parents of the women he aspire to marry courtship begins as well. In the circumstances that a woman is orphaned, her grandparents would likely assume the role as parents to her as she grows up and the choosing of possible spouse for the woman. Sometimes the elder sibling, particularly the elder brother would assume the role of choosing and protecting the younger sister in her search for a spouse. It was confirmed by Mamosaka Darimbang (Interviewed on January 2, 2012), Parents are the one who chooses or accepts a spouse for a daughter but with the absence of Parents the decision is left to Grandparents or the older brothers of the woman. The woman is not allowed to choose her own preference because they are more likely to choose the wrong person. (Translated into English) In choosing a wife a man has a right to select a prospect wife with approval of his parents. Once approved his parents would visit the house of the woman he had chosen to talk about a possible marriage. After the agreement between parents and the children the engagement is then set. The implication of engagement during the early times according to Courtship in the Philippines (retrieved on February 10, 2012), These formal engagements are arranged by the parents of men and the women. This also involves discussions regarding the price and the form of the dowry. During the said engagement the future

bride and groom is not present but is represented by their respective families in the engagement day. This occasion is well known in Islam society as Dialaga and the said Dowry is called Btang in Maranao dialect.

21st century marks the evolution of modern technology and modern society. Improved communication, easier way of life, and so much more these are what this evolution offers. More or less such advancement influences not only how people lives but also the tradition built through out the past generations. Muslim Tradition is of no exemption to these so called influenced ways. One of the greatest and mostly used products of these new technologies is the invention of the telecommunication, such as the widely used cell phone. It made communication a lot easier and affordable. Cell phone made dating easier as well and subtle, you can communicate with the opposite sex without your parents or guardian knowing. Through cell phone men and women got a taste of freedom from the strict tradition of chaperoned dates and visitations. Through these you get to talk to each other without being physically seen together and would less likely to get caught and criticized by the judgmental society. As substantiated by Sittie Hannah P. Said

(interviwed on February 11, 2012) as she said, Technologies nowadays have influenced courtship and dating of the Muslims. During my parents

time they communicate through letters and go on chaperoned dates but now, as for my cousins cases, they text and call each other and they go on dates without chaperone. (translated into English) Another well known innovation of the 21st century is the internet also known as the World Wide Web. During the interview of Abdul Wajid Marohom on January 23, 2012, he said . It is easier to find a wife nowadays because communications is easier and we are less likely caught by parents. Finding a wife becomes easier because there is the internet, it let us view pictures of women who would be our prospect wife. (Translated into English). Affirming the influence of this novelty to the way how young adults and teenagers interact as oppose to the traditional ways. Further elucidated in About Muslim Marriage (retrieved on February 10, 2012) Dating is not allowed in Islam; however, men and women are given a chance to get to know each other for the sake of marriage. Family, friends or other community members often introduce mates. The Internet has become a significant way for many Muslims to meet and marry. The process in choosing a spouse changed but only on the part to which the man acquires the picture of the prospect wife and the informations about her with the help of internet together with the network of friends he has. Also, they are allowed to communicate after the marriage has been agreed upon and the date of marriage is set, this

is to prevent any gap and awkward feelings between the involved persons. Children nowadays are more vocal with their opinions especially about marriage and the chosen person. Same as the old tradition the parents as much as possible prevents any dates of their children to happen outside the house until they are married to prevent gossips to roam and cloud the growing relationship, but sometimes they allow them to date as long as one of the sister of the woman would tag along the date. But according to

Shahira Damiano (interviewed on January 21, 2012), nowadays boyfriends and girlfriends are already been allowed to some families and parents (Translated into English) this contradicts the previous traditional practice and restriction. On the other hand, choosing a prospect spouse is both taken seriously by the persons involve and their families to ensure the success of the possible marriage, as said in Courtship and Dating in Islam (retrieved on February 10, 2012) This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful in the long-term. The decision is made not only by the two

person involve but also their family. In Muslim tradition the family is of great importance to each member of the family. Modern engagement still follows tradition, both the soon to be bride and groom are not in attendance in the celebration, also known as Dialaga in Muslim dialect. They are represented by their respective families and it is in the engagement party that the initial amount of the Dowry or Btang in the Muslim society is given by the parents of the man to the parents of the woman but the difference would be that the traditional way the giving of dowry is done secretly during the celebration to which only the immediate families of both parties are present but now it is done publicly, with the other relatives and friends invited in the engagement serving as witness to the giving of dowry.

When man and woman is in the sacred marriage there are certain responsibilities they undertake in order to maintain harmony and strong family bond in the family. The man is the father who protects and provides for the family, and acts as the strict and firm decision maker in the family that no one would dare to defy. While the mother is the heart of the family, the one who console each member. She is also is the one who holds and does the budgeting of what the father provides. Together they keep the family strong and well. This is firmly supported by the internet article About Muslim Marriage (retrieved on February 10, 2012)

which says Marriage or Nikah is a very important part of a Muslim's life. It is said to be half of the Muslim religion. Tying the knot in Islam is not something to be taken lightly. During the early times Male dominates almost in everything and they kept the women behind their shadows. During the absence of marriage many women were maltreated and shamed by the men. After the implementation of the set of laws about marriage that entails about the rights of women maltreatments and such were prevented. Though women are valued inside marriage the Men remained to be in supremacy. Nasr (1961) wrote The father is like the imam of the family, representing religious authority Muslim male dominates in economic and social activity outside the home. The supremacy necessitate of men are not of violence but rather on authority. Practice of Polygyny in the early times, as stated in the previous part of this paper, remained of the same reason. Another articulation from Christine Huda Dodge in her internet article (retrieved on February 10, 2012), at the Battle of Uhud in 625 C.E., thousands of Muslim men were killed, leaving their widows and orphaned children alone in the world. It was at this time that the Qur'anic verses allowing more than one wife were revealed. In addition, during these times few females are allowed to have education or to engage in work, their only job is to take

care of the home and the children and that left them exposed to the dangers the world offers. On the other hand, marriage during these times is of different types. This study presents the most prevalent marriages undertaken by the early men and women. The most prevalent type of marriage type is the traditional Arranged Marriage. This arrangement involves the parents choosing and planning ahead a marriage even without the knowledge of the man and woman involved. Supplementary explanation is provided by (New World Encyclopedia: Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace ( retrieved February 10, 2012) The marital partners are

chosen by parents, community elders, matchmakers, or religious leaders in an effort to guide young people through the process of finding the right person to marry. Arranged marriages worldwide encompass a wide variety of procedures, cultural customs, length of courtship, as well as the practical and spiritual reasons for the matching of the partners. Generally, such a match is based on considerations other than preexisting mutual attraction. Traditional arranged marriages became less common in the twentieth century, with the majority of young people in most cultures selecting their own spouse, with or without parental approval. However, with the increasing prevalence of divorce among marriages for love, advocates of arranged marriage argue that their valuewhere the expectation of love is weak at the beginning but

ideally grows over timemakes for a stronger and more lasting marital bond. Child marriage is prevalent during the early times to ensure the future of their children especially the women since they are not allowed to provide for themselves because it was the men who do the providing. This is further explicated by (New World Encyclopedia: Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace (retrieved February 10, 2012) The parents of a small child (even infants) arrange a future marriage with another child's parents. The children are betrothed or promised to each other. Often the two children never even meet each other until the wedding ceremony, when they are both of an acceptable marriageable agewhich differs based upon custom. In some cultures, the age is at or even before the onset of puberty. Many people who have been married in this way do grow to love and cherish their spouses after the marriage.

Another prevalent type is the diplomatic marriage. A marriage bonded by diplomatic reasons and means. It would either be for gaining a title such as that of ....Sayid Abu Bakr married Paramislui, the daughter of Raja Baginda, and he received the title of Sultan Sahrif.(Majul. 1999) and also intended for peace agreement as that of in the New World Encyclopedia:Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace( retrieved on February 10, 2012), that

stated Historically, arranged marriages between kings or clan leaders have been utilized to cement political alliances. In recent years, Rev. Sun Myung Moon has revived this idea, promoting cross-cultural arranged marriages as a way to promote world peace. And also of another Historical event The most notable of these was Alexander the Great, who in 324 married 10,000 of his officers to Persian women. The mass wedding, held at Susa, was a model of Alexander's desire to consummate the union of the Greek and Iranian peoples. In regards of Divorce in early Muslim Marriages there is a process in which one should follow in order to formalize the divorce. After it has been agreed by both parties, the one who performs the process is the man. The said process is elaborated in Understand Muslim Marriages: Divorce in Islam (retrieved February 10, 2012), In the Sunni tradition, a man has the right to nullify his marriage contract by simply saying "I am divorcing my wife" three times. He must do this after his wife has finished menstruating and before having sexual intercourse with her, so she is in a state of "cleanliness." A three-month waiting period begins after the divorce has been announced during which time the couple can reconcile without needing to remarry. During this period, the woman and man must sleep in separate rooms, but the man is still responsible for her welfare. At the end of the period, if the marriage has not been reconciled, the divorce is complete and the woman rejoins her family. The Shiite tradition is more legalistic and requires a public

announcement. The decision to divorce is taken seriously and cooperatively by the man and woman because divorce meant breaking a sacred union they both agreed upon in the first place.

According to an article About Muslim Marriage (Retrieved on February 10, 2012) Marriage allows for the strengthening of families with the understanding that strong families help sustain strong communities. Marriage also acts as a protection against premarital sex. But, at the present time teenagers and young adults are largely influenced by modernization and tend to act the way the people they idolized from television shows. They are astonished how the liberated people go away with casual relationships and such. Only a few Families stood firm of abiding the traditional practice and belief, especially those that regards their childrens safety and morality. Another elucidation presenting the stern importance and stability of marriage in the lives of many Muslims is specified by Dr. Sherif Mohammed (Marriage in Islam. Retrieved on February 10, 2012) Marriage is a moral safeguard as well as a social building block. Through marriage, families are established and the family is considered to be the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only valid or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman.

The difference of the marriages these generations against the traditional practice starts with the reason to marry. Since the courtship evolved so as the marriage. One of the very discouraging turn about of the reason of marriage is that young adults nowadays are influenced by the media presentation of liberality and modernization that resulted to curiosity towards premarital sex that alarmed not only the society but most definitely the parents of these people that is why the parents resorted to marriage to prevent this curiosity of the young adults to be put into action. This statement is further strengthened and reasoned by Dr. Sherif Mohammed in his words from On Marriage in Islam: MARRIAGE IN ISLAM (retrieved on February 10, 2012) which says, According to Imams Abu Hanifah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Malik ibn Anas, marriage is recommended, however for certain individuals it becomes Wajib (obligatory). Imam Shaafi'i considered it to be nafl or mubah

(preferable). The general opinion is that if a person, male or female fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit Zina (sex outside of marriage), then marriage becomes obligatory. If a person has strong sexual urges then it becomes obligatory for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed, especially if one has the means to do so. On the subject of female dominations, it refers to how women slowly walked out of the fore shadows that engulfed them for decades now in terms of societal status, educational attainment, and economical

capabilities to which they have sufficed in this century. Theyve proven their rights and ability, and exercised it well to place them in pedestals of history and acceptance. Leila Dabbagh shared her story of growing up in the household headed not by dominance of men but rather by love and support to members. She said I was born into a Muslim family and learned about Islam and the respect accorded women from the behavior of the Men around me. I especially treasure my memories of my maternal grandfather He held and gazed at my diploma for hours afterwards. A devout Muslim, he loved the fact that his granddaughter was getting an education.(Wolfe 2002). Another commentary about the rise of women is as follows she takes charge of the family income, money, or otherwise. Whatever the husband earns goes to her for safe keeping, or even disposal. It is she who doles out to her husband the amount he needs. The husband cannot dispose of any of the family property without the consent of the wife.(Jubaira 1981)

Marriage does not only involve the man and the woman but also their families as well. Marriage is not meant for a child to be separated from their parents, rather than losing a member a family gains another member. You finally meet the one. He is the man of your dreams and seems absolutely perfect. You discuss your expectations of marriage and seem to be on the same page, except for one major thing: he

expects you to live with his parents after marriage... In a nuclear family culture, there is a certain stigma that comes with living with ones in laws. (Syed 2010). When marrying a person one must prepare ones self in marrying also the family of their partners because they become one. Another set of customary types of Muslim marriages are presented by this study, only in this part of this paper the modernization is taken into consideration because of the influences it fabricated. The first taken up would be the traditional arranged marriages that endured the course of time and evolution. The parents in these times are still the one to inquire about possible spouses for their children, sometimes in this decision the children were never asked if they agree or not. An example is the circumstances Shahira Damiano is in as she was interviewed on January 21, 2012. As for my opinion, arranged marriage is better when both parties agreed. Because really, as a woman who already experienced getting married to someone I don't even know and love is the worst feeling ever. (Translated into English) But certain changes undoubtedly bypassed the traditional ways. This is similar to the modern arranged marriage, except that the children have a chance to get to know each other over a longer period of time via e-mail, phone, or multiple in-person meetings, before making a decision. (New World Encyclopedia, retrieved on February 10, 2012).

On certain instances the child is able to participate in choosing their prospect spouses and get the chance to get to know each other before marriage will took place. The parents choose several possible mates for the child, sometimes with the help of the child (who may indicate which photos he or she likes, for example). The parents will then arrange a meeting with the family of the prospective mate, and the two children will often have a short unsupervised meeting, such as an hour-long walk around the neighborhood. The child then chooses who they wish to marry (if anyone), although parents may exert varying degrees of pressure on the child to make a certain choice (New World Encyclopedia, retrieved on February 10, 2012). Diplomatic marriage is not publicly perceptible or acclaimed due to confidentiality of the truce or agreement between two families involved. Diplomatic marriages are usually utilized in order to gain power, allies, and for truce between families. This is justified by New World Encyclopedia: Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace (retrieved on February 10, 2012) Marriages are arranged for political reasons, to cement alliances between royal families. In most parts of Mindanao were such marriage is rampant in order to patch up feuds among families or to gain allies during upcoming Political career. The bigger and well known the family, the better and helpful it is. Interfaith marriage was a taboo during early times, it was never considered, thought, or, much worse, put into action. A mere thought or

consideration that another religion could/would be a part of the family would be a never ending shame according not only by the Muslim society but also by Islamic Law, called Sharia, itself Under Sharia law, a Muslim woman is not permitted to marry a non-Muslim under any circumstances. By contrast, a Muslim man may marry a "chaste" Jew or Christian, assuming she is devout in her beliefs (Marrying Outsiders. Understand Muslim Marriages retrieved on February 10, 2012). In all candors, the Islamic belief does not forbid a Muslim to marry another person from another religion unless he/she is willingly converts to Islam because if not their marriage would fall apart due to clashing sets of beliefs and perceptions. To clear things in this matter of conversion, it is not necessary to force your partner to convert it should be his/her intention and free will, all you can possibly do is support and help her with understanding Islam as a whole. The heart chooses not you for your partner, just like in the experience of Jennifer Manzoor, a Muslim convert, ... many people incorrectly assume that I became a Muslim because my husband was a Muslim. I make a point of clarifying that I did not become a Muslim because of my husband.(Dirks & Parlove {Eds.}.2003), she was clearing the assumptions of people around her that she was forced or made a convert by her husband who is a full Muslim blooded. with the declaration of faith begins the journey on the path to being Muslim, thereby changing ones life, relationships, beliefs,

and religious practice as one selectively rejects the past American culture or combines it with what is Islamic. (Haddad 2000) Women from other religions, unlike the past years, consider the possibility of loving a Muslim despite the branded identity of Muslims as terrorist. According to Janelle Noville p. Jarap (interviewed on February 9, 2012) I dont mind marrying a Muslim if I do fall in love with him. Regarding conversion I cant tell because I have not yet experienced such but actually it would not be bad to convert maybe because I have Muslim friends and they seem good and their religion is interesting also. (Translated into English) breaching interfaith marriage as an acceptable destiny. An experience shared by Iman Fadlallah regarding her experience about child marriage to a person she has no idea who or what he was until their marriage was set,.... Imans father, the most prominent Hezbollah cleric in Beirut, had abruptly ended her schooling when she was fourteen years old, choosing a husband for her whom she didnt meet until the wedding.(Miller & Kenedi 2002). Child marriage is one of the issues yet to be accepted by the large society of non-believers of Islam because it was a question to the credibility of the marriage to which the involved children havent given their choice or rights to speak their minds about the marriage.

Practices of polygamy are still rampant in Muslim society though not publicly claimed but nevertheless do exists. One of the reasons of the continuity of such practice is as follows Mawdudi accepts that Islam allows men to marry up to four wives, provided that they treat them fairly. He sees this as a pragmatic measure, given that in many societies women outnumber men but require caring for, while many want to fulfill their natural roles as child bearers and up-bringers.(Bennet 2005). Accordind to Mawdudi still, consideration of such practice is widely served as an option to some men, Mawdudi accepts that Islam allows men to marry up to four wives, provided that they treat them fairly. He sees this as a pragmatic measure, given that in many societies women outnumber men but require caring for, while many want to fulfill their natural roles as child bearers and up-bringers. (Bennet 2005) The restrictions of the past are still applied even at present time with the same aim of preventing any misuse or abuse to the purpose and practice of polygamy. Divorce nowadays are more concentrated and taken on the legal matter unlike the traditional way where a man would just announce the Divorce. A marriage in Islam is defined by Sharia or Islamic law. The marriage contract imparts certain rights to the man and woman, and divorce is only applicable under certain circumstances. This article will outline the religious path to matrimony and how a marriage can be

annulled under Islamic law. (Understanding Muslim Marriages retrieved February 10, 2012)

After dwelling to the factors that contributed in the conclusion at the end of this study we conclude that Courtship and Marriage Traditions and Practices of Muslims have changed through time. This is evidenced by the following: The evolution beginning with courtship, from the strict no physical or communicative interaction unsupervised by parents or guardians to present day courtships and dating allowing the couple ample of time to ordeal their compatibility. Furthermore, the influences brought about by modern technology largely disrupted what used to bes in the relationships between men and women who are not blood related, and also the restriction previously implemented but now abhorred by some young adults and is hard to employ by parents due to growing independence of children from them. Next would be the engagement, to which undisclosed giving of dowry to public display of it. Furthermore on the Marriage issue, customary types of marriages: 1.) arranged marriages before the children, especially the woman, might be uninformed about the marriage plan until the day of the wedding. Presently, arranged marriage considers the opinions of the children and allows the children to test their compatibilities in regards to their feelings toward the impending marriage. 2.) Interfaith marriages, during

the early times it was considered as a taboo while nowadays it is still considered as a shame to some families but others accepts it, as long as that person converts to Islam to avoid conflicting beliefs with your partner and your in-laws. In the conclusion brought about by this study the point of views from the elders are taken into consideration as they themselves witnessed these said changes. Rimbur Mamacotao (interviewed on January 22, 2012) expressed his judgment toward the courtship done in 21st century, he said because it lowers the respect and high regard to women in Islam. I would prefer that the parents should discourage their children particularly women from engaging in text Courtship.

(Translated into English) with his conviction of disagreement to the said issue. Another opinion conveyed by Mamosaka Darimabang (Interviewed on January 2, 2012) regarding the issue about the influence of modern technology, she stated, I forbid my daughters in having any relationship with men, especially Christians, because my daughters are precious to us and that they should stay pure and innocent until the man destined for them comes. I do not approve of the technology nowadays because it tempts my daughter to lie to us and communicate with men they are not blood related to. (Translated into English) relaying the negative effect of technologies to communication and trust relationships in the family. To sum up the entire changes that the tradition and practices of the Muslim Marriage and Courtships have under gone

through Rimbur Mamacotao (January 22, 2012) articulated the following words, As time changes culture and traditions are largely affected and the effect of improved technology cannot be discounted because people live with it. Sometimes it has disadvantages since it weakens the moral fibers of young Muslims because since in Islam it is prohibited for a man to talk to a woman who is not his close kin unless they are betrothed or married, or necessary as in business. That is why Ive always wanted to preserve the old traditions of the Muslims.(Translated into English). He was conveying his thoughts and preference of preserving what has been traditionally established and practiced. But regardless of changes in Courtship and Marriage in Muslim Tradition it remained as something that every child and person is bound to do. It is not something you wear today and wear it off the next day. Indulging and being or planning to be married is an act of obedience on our part. Besides concerning these said changes it is a fact that it wont/ couldnt be prevented nor avoided because in this world nothing is permanent except change itself, its how you deal and preserve such tradition that the essence and sanctity of it be well protected.

Bibliography: A.)Book References 1.) Majul, C. A. (1999). Muslims in the Philippines. Philippines: U.P. Press Printery 2.) Wolfe, M. (2002). Muhammads Legacy For Women. Taking Back Islam: American Muslim Reclaim Their Faith. USA: Rode Inc. and Beliefnet, Inc.

3.) Wolfe, M. (2002). Muhammads Legacy For Women. Taking Back Islam: American Muslim Reclaim Their Faith.USA: Rode Inc. and Beliefnet, Inc. 4.) Nasr, S.H. ( 1961). The Family. Islam ( religion, history, and civilization).USA: Harper Collins Publishers, Inc. 5.) Jubaira, I.A. (1981).Islam and the Feminist Movement. The Moslem Heritage. Manila, Philippines: Foreign Service Institute 6.) Jubaira, I.A. (1981). The Prophet Muhammad on Marriage. The Moslem Heritage. Manila, Philippines: Foreign Service Institute 7.) Jubaira, I.A. (1981) A True Portrait of the Moslem Woman. The Moslem Heritage. Manila, Philippines: Foreign Service Institute. 8.) Jubaira,I.A. (1981). Marriage and Morals Among Moslem Filipinos. The Moslem Heritage. Manila Philippines: Foreign Service Institute 9.) Haddad, Y.Y. (Ed.) (2000). Putting Islam into Practice in America. Muslims on the Americanization path. USA: Oxford University Press 10.) Dirks,D.L. & Parlove, S. (Eds.). (2003) Islam Our Choice. USA: Amana Publications 11.) Bennet, C. (2005). Mawdudi: equal but different. Muslims And Modernity. Great Britain: British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

12.) Miller, J. & Kenedi, A. (2002). Women In Islam. Inside Islam. USA: Marlowe & Company B.) Magazine Reference: 1.) Syed,T. (2010). Married to the In Laws. Azizah. 6, 54-56 C. Internet Refernece: 1.) Courtship in the Philippines. Retrievedon February 10, 2012 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship_in_the_Philippines 2.) Arranged marriage in Islam. Retrieved on January 20,2012, from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Arranged_marriage 3.) About Muslim Marriage. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.ehow.com/facts_7383924_muslimmarriage.html#ixzz1macPkiVy 4.) Understanding Muslim Marriages. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.ehow.com/about_4761419_understanding-muslimmarriages.html#ixzz1madcJ26G 5.) Courtship and Dating in Islam. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/courtship.htm 6.) New World Encyclopedia (Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace) retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Arranged_marriage

7.) Arranged Marriage as An Instrument of Peace. New World Encyclopedia (Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace ) retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Arranged_marriage 8.) Dodge, C. H. (2012) .The Practice of Polygamy. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.netplaces.com/understandingislam/islamic-married-life/the-practice-of-polygamy.htm 9.) Divorce in Islam.Understand Muslim Marriages. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.ehow.com/about_4761419_understanding-muslimmarriages.html#ixzz1madvHjYN 10.) Marrying Outsiders.Understand Muslim Marriages. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.ehow.com/about_4761419_understanding-muslimmarriages.html#ixzz1madvHjYN 11.) Dr. Mohammed, S. (2012) MARRIAGE IN ISLAM. On Marriage in Islam. Retrieved on February 10, 2012, from http://www.jannah.org/sisters/marr.html 12.) Courtship and Dating in Islam ( retrieved on February 10, 2012 from http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/courtship.htm )

13.) Diplomatic Marriage. New World Encyclopedia: Organizing Knowledge for happiness, prosperity, and world peace. Retrieved on February 10, 2012 from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Arranged_marriage D. Interviews: 1.)) Mamosaka Darimabang, 56 years old. Housewife. Interviewed on January 2, 2012 2.) Shahira Damiano, 23 years old.MedTech student. (January 21, 2012) 3.) Rimbur Mamacotao, 48 years old. (January 22,2012) 4.) Sittie Hannah P. Said, 18 years old. BSN student. Interviewed on February 11, 2012 5.) Janelle Noville P. Jarap, 18 years old. BSN student. Interviewed on February 9, 2012