March 16, 2006

WE REPLACED THE DATE WITH

HOOKING UP. WHY OUR
GENERATION NEEDS THE
DATE, AND WHAT WE CAN
DO TO RESURRECT IT.
TASTING THAI
never fear ordering again
5
MAXIMIZE YOUR
WORKOUT
best way, best time of day
9
ENDANGERED
DATING
and why we need it back
10
DUMPING ThE DaTE
Jayplay Jayplay
Last weeks Jayplay contained an
error. I Touch Myself is written by
the DiVinyls, not Blondie.
JAYPLAYERS
Along with the standard fairy
tales, I grew up hearing the terrifc
story of my parentscourtship.They
met at a Halloween party; she said
something so sharp about his Hulk
costume that they both refused to
ever repeat it.Shortly thereafter, they
began the three years of dating that
preceded their 24-year (this April)
marriage.The details of the courtship
blurred together until I got old
enough to be courted myself and
realized how remarkable they were.
Your dad spent all his money on
me,my mom would say.I needed
to fatten you up,hed reply.

He would drive 30 minutes to her
parentshouse to pick her up, and
again to drop her off at the end of
the night four times a week.We
saw every movie,my mom says.We
had so much fun,my dad replies.I
took for granted certain details, like
the time my dad picked my mom
up from her job at the hospital and
bought her a new outft at Dillards
so they could go to a nice restaurant.
My dads car (the passenger door of
which he opened for her every time)
didnt have a radio, so they talked the
whole time during those long car
rides conversations to which they
both credit their marriage.
It seems our generation took the
last vestiges of dating culture and
replaced them with hooking up a
tradition that, at least to me, is hollow
and pale compared to old-fashioned
courtship.
What happened? Rachel Zupeks
article (p.10) explores the lost art
of dating, and the hook-up that
replaced it.Its something all of us
single, taken, or somewhere in
between could learn from.
My mom says,Your dad still treats
me like he cant believe I ever went
out with him.
Who doesnt want that?
Natalie Johnson
EDITORS NOTE
EDITOR THE STAR
Natalie Johnson
ASSOCIATE EDITOR THE RAMDOG
Lindsey Ramsey
CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN
Andrew Campbell
DESIGNERS MAKE IT PRETTY
Becka Cremer
Jacky Carter
PHOTOGRAPHER TELL ME WHAT YOU
NEED
Kit Leffer
COPY EDITOR MAKES IT RIGHT
Jodi Holopirek
Tara Schupner
BITE ALWAYS HAS THE MUNCHIES
Melissa Byrd
Carrie Hillard
Erin Wisdom
OUT HITSTHETOWN
David Heller
Charissa Young
NOTICE TAKES NOTE OF IT
Liz Nartowicz
Malinda Osborne
Carolyn Tharp
HEALTH KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY
Marion Hixon
Jason Shaad
CONTACT HELPS YOUR LOVE LIFE
Stefanie Graves
Kristen Maxwell
Rachel Zupek
CREATIVE CONSULTANT KNOWS
A LOT
Carol Holstead
WRITE TO US
jayplay06@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
02

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 23
15
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FEATURE
the demise of dating
REVIEWS
we tell you what we think
SPEAK
diamonds are a girls best friend
19
18
BITE
try thai
OUT
open mic night
7
5
CALENDAR
whats going on
3
HEALTH
early to rise, early to sweat
NOTICE
be ashamed of teddy no longer
10
9
15
College Ladies Night!
A New Party Every Thursday!!
D.J., Dancing, Karaoke, The Hottest Jams
Ladies Win FREE Prizes!
Thurs., Mar. 16 Captain Morgans Tattoo Night
$2.00 Captain Tattoo Drinks
Tattoo Girls from 11pm-1:30am
Best Place to Watch ALL NCAA Tourney Games
$2.50 Aluminum 16oz Bud, Bud Light, Bud Select
35 Big Screen TVs & Great Food
Come on out to the HOTTEST new College Ladies Night in Lawrence!
$3.00 Domestic Pitchers
Located at 1540 Wakarusa
$
3
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69 Eyes. El Torreon, 7:30 p.m.,
all-ages, $13, www.eltorreon.
com*
.38 Special. VooDoo Lounge at
Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., 21+, $25,
www.voodookc.com*
Aeolin. Bottleneck, 8 p.m., 18+,
FREE, www.bottlenecklive.com
Archons. Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
replaylounge.com
Celebrating a Grand Gift:
The Hallmark Photographic
Collection. Nelson-Atkins
Museum of Art, 10 a.m. to
4 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
nelson-atkins.org*
Flowers, Dragons and Pine
Trees: Asian Textiles. Spencer
Museum of Art, 10 a.m. to
9 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Gordon Parks At Home and
Abroad: A Small Selection.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 9 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition: Sci-Fi
Fermentation: The Impact of
Science on the Natural World.
Kemper Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 4 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
kemperart.org*
Gallery Conversations:
Brett Knappe, curator for
Photography Between the
Wars: A Survey of American
And European Photography
1920-1940. Spencer Museum
of Art, 12:15 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.spencerart.ku.edu
Lecture: Artist Chris
Johanson. Spencer Museum of
Art Auditorium, 7 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Lecture: Professor William
Wallace on Michelangelo:
Hammer of God.Spencer
Museum of Art, 5 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Rushmore Academy. The
Boobie Trap Bar, 9 p.m., all-ages,
FREE, http://boobietrapbar.
com*
Teddy Geiger. Grand
Emporium, 8 p.m., 18+, $8,
816.561.2560*
a
l
e d
a
r
THURSDAY 3.16
FRIDAY 3.17
SATURDAY 3.18
Chris Duarte with The Adam
Wyatt Band. Knuckleheads
Saloon, 9 p.m., $15 - $20, 21+,
www.knuckleheadskc.com*
Dead Girls Ruin Everything,
Textbook and The Jackie Carol
Band. The Bottleneck, 10 p.m.,
TBA, www.bottlenecklive.com
Dirty Boots Burlesque Show.
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., $7, 18+,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com
Doghouse Daddies. Uncle Bos
T-Town Bar, 8:30 p.m., $3, 21+,
www.unclebos.com*
Flowers, Dragons and Pine
Trees. An exhibit at Spencer
Museum of Art, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition: Sci-Fi
Fermentation: The Impact
of Science on the Natural
World. Kemper Museum of
Contemporary Art, 10 a.m. to
9 p.m., FREE, www.kemperart.
org.*
Exhibition: Transformations.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., FREE, www.spencerart.
ku.edu
Film: Los Inundados. Spencer
Museum of Art Auditorium, 2
p.m., FREE, www.spencerart.
ku.edu
Funeral for a Friend
with Bleed the Dream,
LoveHateHero. The Granada,
7 p.m., $12, all ages, www.
thegranada.com
Jared PeteGile with True
North. The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $4,
21+, www.jazzhaus.com
Kansas Music Hall of Fame
2006 Induction. Liberty Hall, 7
p.m., $30 - $40, all ages, www.
libertyhall.net
The Lepers, The Gleaners
and General Sherman. Replay
Lounge, 10 p.m., $2, 21+, www.
replaylounge.com
Play: A Congress of Women.
William Inge Memorial Theatre,
5 p.m., $10-$12, www.kutheatre.
com
The Rumblejets. The Record
Bar, 7 p.m, $7, 21+, www.
therecordbar.com*
The Billions. Bottleneck, 8 p.m.,
18+, www.bottlenecklive.com
Bingo. Eagles Lodge, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 843-9690
Cate Brothers. Uncle Bos T-
town Bar, 9 p.m., $15 in advance,
$18 at door, www.unclebos.
com*
Cosmic Bowling. Kansas Union,
11:00 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
suaevents.com
The Elders. Uptown Theater,
7:30 p.m., all-ages, $18-$33,
www.uptowntheater.com*
Exhibition: Flowers and
Feathes: Mixed Media by
Linda Frost. Lawrence Public
Library, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.lawrence.lib.ks.us
Exhibition: Lift Your Eyes:
Mixed Media Asemblages.
Lawrence Public Library, 9 a.m.
to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
lawrence.lib.ks.us
Exhibition: Museum of
Abstact History: Exhibition of
One-Act Plays. Lawrence Arts
Center, all ages, $6, 843-2787
Exhibition: Printmaking from
the John Talleur Print Studio.
Lawrence Public Library, 9 a.m.
to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
lawrence.lib.ks.us
Exhibition: Splendor of the
Prairie Grasses. Fields Gallery,
10 a.m. to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.feldsgallery.com
Exhibition: The Curator is IN!
New Media Projects: Shirin
Neshats Turbulent. Nelson
Atkins Musuem, 7 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.nelson-atkins.org*
Exhibition: Transformations.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Free Play. Replay Lounge, 3
p.m. to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE,
749-7676
Play: A Congress of Women.
William Inge Memorial Theatre,
7:30 p.m., all ages, $10 for
students, www.kutheatre.com
Poker Pub. Liquid, 7 p.m., 21+,
FREE, thepokerpub.com
St. Patricks Day Parade. South
Park, 1 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
lawrencestpatricksdayparade.
com
Trivia Riot. The Brick, 7
p.m., 21 +, cost varies, www.
thebrickkcmo.com *
The Volunteers. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+,
$5, $7 under 21, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Wryly Bent. Stus Midtown
Tavern, 10 p.m., 21+, $4, 785-
856-STUS
You Fail Me. Grand Emporium,
8 p.m, 18+, 816.561.2560
Boobie Trap Bar
1417 SW 6th St.,
Topeka
785-232-9008
Kemper Museum of Art
4420 Warwick Blvd.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-561-3737
Knuckleheads Saloon
2719 Rochester St.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-483-1456
Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art
4525 Oak St.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-751-1278
The Record Bar
1020 Westport Rd.,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-5207
Uncle Bos T-Town Bar
420 S.E. Sixth St.,
Topeka
785-234-5400
Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway,
Kansas City, Mo.
816-753-8665
VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs
Casino
777 Casino Center Dr.,
Hazelwood, Mo.
314-770-8100
WHERE
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 03
Wilco
The Elders The Billions
Bingo Brent Learnard
Rumblejets
*
Finding Nemo
I canlickanysobinthehouse St. Patricks Day
69 Eyes
The Elders
TUESDAY 3.21
Belles, Dada Swing, Bring
out the Guns. Gaslight
Tavern, 9 p.m., 21+, $3, www.
gaslighttavern.com
Exhibition: Explore Evolution.
Natural History Museum, 9 a.m.
to 4 p.m., all ages, FREE, http://
nhm.ku.edu
Exhibition: Flowers, Dragons
and Pine Trees: Asian Textiles
in the Spencer Museum of
Art. Spencer Museum of Art,
10 a.m. to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition:Splendor of
the Prairie Grasses,new
watercolors by Doug Guess.
Fields Gallery, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, www.feldsgallery.
com
Event: Lifeology: a spotlight
on evolution. Natural History
Museum, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. all
ages, FREE, http://nhm.ku.edu
Haram, New London Fire,
Pixel Panda. The Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $8, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Marah. The Hurricane, 9 p.m.,
21+, $7, www.hurricanekc.com*
Say Anything, Owen, Veda,
Machine Elves. El Torreon,
7:30 p.m., all ages, $10, www.
eltorreon.com*
This Holiday Season. The
Boobie Trap Bar, 9 p.m., all
ages, $5/$6 (under 21), www.
boobietrapbar.com*
Wilco. The Uptown Theater,
8 p.m., all ages, $25.50, www.
uptowntheater.com*
04

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
WEDNESDAY 3.22
Acoustic Open Jam. The
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
jazzhaus.com
Clair de Lune, Stella Link. The
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.replaylounge.com
Disney on Ice: Finding Nemo.
Kemper Arena, 7 p.m., all
ages, $14.50 - $48.50, www.
kemperarenakc.com
Electric Six. The Record
Bar, 8 p.m., 18+, $10, www.
therecordbar.com*
Exhibition: Flowers, Dragons
and Pine Trees: Asian Textiles
in the Spencer Museum of
Art. Spencer Museum of Art,
10 a.m. to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition: Photography
Between the Wars: A Survey
of American and European
Photography 1920-1940.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition:Splendor of
the Prairie Grasses,new
watercolors by Doug Guess.
Fields Gallery, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, www.feldsgallery.
com
Marriage Records Showcase
featuring DrakkarSauna,
Thanksgiving, and more. The
Gaslight Tavern, 8 p.m., 21+, $5,
www.gaslighttavern.com
Roanoke, Day Without Dawn,
All Parallels. The Bottleneck,
7 p.m., all ages, $4, www.
bottlenecklive.com
MONDAY 3.20
Ex-boyfriends, Grammar
Debate. The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
replaylounge.com
Event: Lifeology: a spotlight
on evolution. Natural History
Museum, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. all
ages, FREE, http://nhm.ku.edu
Jacks Mannequin. The
Granada, 8 p.m., all ages, $15,
www.thegranada.com
Last Bus, Order of Chaos. The
Gaslight Tavern, 9 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.gaslighttavern.com
The JV Allstars, Beneft of a
Doubt, Fumescrew, V-Card
Vengeance. The Boobie Trap
Bar, 8 p.m., all ages, $5/$6 (under
21), www.boobietrapbar.com*
SUNDAY 3.19
Bailer, Minsk, Lethe and
Cast Pattern. The Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., $4, 18+, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com
Corpses, Outlaw, Blackouts
and Sex Slaves. The Record Bar,
4 p.m., $7, www.therecordbar.
com*
Exhibition: Gordon Parks At
Home and Abroad: A Small
Selection. Spencer Museum of
Art, 12 p.m. to 5 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Photography Between the
Wars: A Survey of American
and European Photography
1920-1940. Spencer Museum
of Art, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition:Splendor of
the Prairie Grasses,new
watercolors by Doug Guess.
Fields Gallery, 12 p.m. to 5 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, www.feldsgallery.
com
Film: Sunday Cinematic
Sagebrush: Cowboys at the
Kemper Museum, Cattle Annie
and Little Britches. Kemper
Contemporary Museum of Art, 2
p.m. to 3:15 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.kemperart.org/
Hockey Night and The
Armory. The Replay Lounge,
10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
replaylounge.com
Play: A Congress of Women
by Aristophanes. William Inge
Memorial Theatre, 2:30 p.m., all
ages, $10 - $12, kutheatre.com
Embodiment
IfyouveeverwantedtotryThaifood, but
youdontknowyourpanangfromyourpad
thai, readon. KnowingafewThaifoodbasics
willmakeyouanexpertinnotime.
Thai food essentials
WhenItriedThaicuisineforthefrsttime,
IactuallythoughtIwasina
Chineserestaurantuntil
I saw the menu. Dishes
such as green curry beef,
tomyumandchickenpad
sea-ewe are far removed
from the old Chinese
standbyslikeGeneralTaos
chickenandcrabrangoon.
The helpful server gave
me a tip: Thai food is
generallysweet, sour, spicy
or salty sometimes a
mixture of all four. In fact,
in Thailand, a meal may
not even be considered
satisfying unless it covers
all four tastes, says Darlene Schmidt, Thai
foodcook, educatorandenthusiast.
Thai food is famous for its curries. In
Thai dishes, curries usually come in three
colorsgreen,yelloworred,saysDustin
Srisutiva, owner of Thai-Siam, 601 Kasold
Dr. Green curry gets its distinctive flavor
fromThaiholybasilandkaffirlimeleaves;
yellowcurryissimilartothecurrypowder
youdfindinthespiceaisleofanygrocery
store; and red curry is the spiciest of all,
thankstotheinclusionofchilipowderand
redchilies.
A typical Thai meal
Thai meals are grand affairs, with
many dishes ordered and then served
simultaneously. Starters do not exist in
Thai culture. AThai menu usually consists
of a curry dish, typically made with red
meat or chicken; a fish dish, most often a
wholefishservedoverhot
coals with a spicy sauce;
a vegetable dish, stir-
fried; and a noodle dish,
stir-fried with shrimp or
chicken and served with
plenty of Thai jasmine
rice,Schmidtsays.
To drink, lager beer
is common, as is iced tea
(made with steeped tea)
andlimeonade(madewith
keylimes).
What to order
Soyoudecidetotrya
Thairestaurant. Now, what
toorder?
First, be open-minded. A Thai chef once
toldSchmidtthebestThaifoodlookslikea
mess, buttasteslikeheaven.
Once you get past your preconceived
notions, Schmidt suggests trying one of
thesemorefamousThaidishes:
Tom Yum Soup a spicy, fragrant
and slightly sour soup that contains
many of the key ingredients found in
Thaifood:lemongrass,kaffirlime,fish
sauceandcoconutmilk.Itsoneofhis
customers favorites, Srisutiva, Thai
Siamowner,says.
Curry many restaurants have their
ownversionthattheymakeparticularly
well. TryThaiGreenCurry.
Pad Thai rice noodles that are stir-
fried with your choice or meat or tofu,
plus veggies. It is the
most-ordered dish
at Thai Siam by far,
Srisutivasays.
Thai dessert unique
sweetsoftenmadewith
rice and coconut. Just
tasting a Thai dessert
feels like stepping into
the culture, Schmidt
says.
Manisawn Luangamath,
Olathe freshman, adores
Thai cuisine and her
parents are from Thailand
andLaos. Sherecommends
her favorite Thai dish: pho.
Pho is a noodle soup that
can be made from any
kind of meat, herbs or
vegetables. She also likes
lad na, another noodle
soup with a gravy-like
consistency.
Many Thai restaurants
compromise favor and
spicetosuitWesterntastes,
Srisutiva says. The favors
are not too strong, and
not too spicy, he says. Its
missing something. His customers like the
taste of authentic Thai food, so he cooks it
thesameashewouldifhewereinThailand,
hesays.
When you visit a Thai restaurant, try to
order a variety of dishes. Because of the
myriadfavorsandtextures, youwillwantto
samplealittleofeverything.
To spice or not to spice?
When most people
think of Thai food, they
think spicy. But thats
not necessarily true.
Most Thai restaurants
customize spiciness to
eachcustomersindividual
preference, though
nothing changes the
spiceofcurries. Curriesare
naturally spicy, especially
redandgreencurry.
What we think of
here in North America as
hot is nothing for a Thai
person, Schmidt says. So
dontbetoobraveoryoull
end up regretting it and
worst of all, you wont be
abletotasteanythingelse
for the rest of the night.
If you typically like your
foodhot, tryscalingdown
to a medium probably
spicyenoughforeventhe
bravesttongue.
As long as it can
make my eyes water and
nose runny, Luangamath says, that spicy
foodalwayshitsthespot.
a taste of thailand
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 05
Bite
Bye-bye, burger make room for something exotic
by Melissa Byrd
KITLEFFLER



Wanna try some thai?

What is your
favorite dish?
06

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
KISS THE COOK
BITE
Ingredients:
2 ripe avocados
red onion, minced
1-2 Serrano chiles, stems and seeds
removed, minced
2 tablespoons cilantro leaves, fnely
chopped
1 tablespoon of fresh lime or lemon juice
Dash of black pepper
ripe tomato, seeds and pulp removed,
chopped
Tortilla chips
1. Cut avocados in half. Remove pit. Scoop out
avocado from the peel and put in a mixing
bowl.
2. Mash avocado with fork. Mash in onion,
cilantro,lemon or lime, salt and pepper. Chili
peppers vary in their hotness, so start with
one half of one chili pepper and add to
the guacamole to your desired degree of
hotness.
3. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.
4. Just before serving, add tomato to the
guacamole and mix. Serve with tortilla chips.
Remember that much of this is done to
taste because of the variability in the fresh
ingredients. Start with this recipe and adjust
to your taste. You can also experiment and add
salsa, sour cream or cottage cheese to your dip.
Serves 2-4.
Source: elise.com/recipes/
Carrie Hillard
Perfect guacamole
Pancakes.Theyrewarm,fuffyandoneofthemosteffectivealcohol
absorbersontheplanet.Nottomentiononeoftheeasiesttocustomize.Add
chocolatechips,fruit,whippedcreamor,inastateofinebriation,maybe
youcancomeupwithsomemorecreativecombinations.Sonexttimethe
barsturnyououtat2a.m,takeadvantageofrestaurantslikeIHOPand
Perkinsthatservethistastystaple24hoursaday.
Erin Wisdom
POST-DRINKS EATS
From Asics high tops to pregnant
rubber chicken toys, Rogue Wave
has collected a range of memorabilia
from their international tour. Rogue
Wave is currently touring the United
States promoting their sophomore album
Descended Like Vultures. They played at the
Granada last month. Frontman Zach Rogue
talks about strange gas station fnds and
boycotting television.
Q: So where are you now?
A: Were stopping at a gas station right now on
our way to our next show in Columbia, Mo.
Q: Do you ever pick up any weird items while
youre on the road?
A: One time we got this chicken at a gas station
that you put in your hand and squeeze. A
chicken fetus thing squirts out of its rectum. It
was crazy but pretty entertaining.
Q: In making your second album, theres
always speculation of a sophomore slump.
Did that pressure affect the recording
process?
A: Actually, it didnt. When you get into the
studio, you dont let the outside stuff bother
you. You get in there, and its peaceful.
Q: I read a review that your frst album
made the reviewer want to eat sunshine
and crap kittens. Have you had any other
strange reactions to your second album?
A: (Laughing) Ive heard of that review, but I
havent read it. For the frst album I read a lot
of press, but when you read the bad press, it
doesnt do you any good. You just carry around
the negative energy from it. So, I dont read the
reviews any more.
Q: You used Craigslist.com to compile the
band. How did you know the members of the
band were a good ft?
A: We just have a good time hanging out
together. Its like when you meet new friends.
Q: Do you use Craigslist.com
for anything else these days?
A: Soliciting prostitutes. Im joking. Its good for
free stuff. One of the guys with us now gave
away his Baldwin organ on it. (Shouting in
the background) Im an organ donor! (Rogue
laughs). He says hed give away another organ
if he had it.
Q: Why do you like using a Wurlitzer organ?
A: We have a Wurlitzer in the studio, but its too
fragile to take on tour. We have a keyboard that
does a pretty good job simulating the sound.
The Wurlitzer makes a great distortion the
more you lay into it.
Q: Whats the frst thing youre going to do
when this tour ends?
A: We fnish mid-April, so Ill defnitely be seeing
some baseball games. Watching the As play is
a high priority. I really want to start recording
some new music, but I dont have anything
planned for the next album. Oh, and I want to
try to exercise and learn how to cook.
Q: Why, do you watch a lot of shows on the
Food Network?
A: No, I dont watch TV anymore. I watched
Arrested Development, but it got canceled. Im
boycotting TV because Im mad at it.

Charissa Young

a
With
Rogue Wave
f
Q
&
No
Cover
K
U
T
O
U
R
N
A
M
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Dont forget 90s theme night every Saturday!
Embrace new talent at local open mic events
Its Monday night, and Im a
one-woman audience left to the
devices of a man and his guitar. I
cant put this feeling on the shelf
take it easy on me, darling, he sings.
I shift nervously in a rigid wooden
booth. I chose a booth facing
front and center to the stage for
optimal viewing of the evenings
six acts, but I realize Im also in the
direct stare of this sandy-blonde
crooner. He keeps looking in my
direction or is he looking at the
technician to my right? I cant say
for sure, but he continues to strum
his guitar and sings sweet nothings
into the microphone. Besides a
girl at the bar who was distracted
by the bartender, Im the only
other bosomed body in the room
receiving 27-year-old Kansas City
musician Barclay Martins musical
affections.
And I like it.
Whether you go to be serenaded
or to discover new musicians or
poets, attending an open mic night
offers entertainment thats cheap.
Admission in Lawrence costs, at
maximum, $3, and no two nights
are alike, as they feature different
unknown talents each week.
Amanda Haase, manager of The
Bottleneck, encourages people
to come to open mic nights for
the chance to see the next big
thing without the crowds. In the
past, acts such as Blind Melon and
Faith No More have played at The
Bottlenecks open mic.
While audiences have the
opportunity to discover new talent
at each event, the most appeal
is for the budding performers
themselves. Signing up to play at
an open mic event is free, and it
gives new artists time to test their
performance skills while gaining
valuable public exposure. Martin
attends shows at The Bottleneck
and recently returned from a nine-
month solo tour driving across
the United States in a conversion
van. Martin says hes played a lot
of venues, mostly around Kansas
City, but wanted to play at The
Bottleneck to break into the
Lawrence music scene.
After Martins set, Heather Knox,
24, KU alumna and Kansas City
resident, arrives with a crowd to
hear the punk band The Vultures
perform. The Vultures have played
several times at open mic night and
at other venues in the Kansas City
area. Through this and promotions
on MySpace, they have developed
a local following. Knox, who is
dating The Vultures bassist, has
frequented the open mic scene
in both Lawrence and Kansas City
for the past several years. She
prefers Lawrences open mic nights,
she says. Here, university town
audiences are more open to new
ideas, so there is a better variety of
music, she says.
Though tonights open mic
schedule includes all rock music,
the sound ranges from L.I.E.s heavy
melodies to The Vanes alternative
country. And because each act
is limited to 15 to 30 minutes on
stage, even styles not in your taste
range are palatable.
Adding even more diversity to
the Lawrence open mic scene, the
Jazzhaus hosts open acoustic and
Spanktones jams along with the
poetry slam event, Fresh Ink. Knox
prefers open mic events at the
Jazzhaus because of its intimate
setting the candlelit tables bring
the audience close to the stage.
Megan McHenry knows frst-
hand how powerful performing
is. For the past six years, she has
coordinated and performed at
Fresh Ink, which features poetry
ranging from the comedic to the
political. Theres a vulnerability in
sharing your life and ideas through
your poetry to strangers, she says.
She encourages open mic virgins
to come perform, even if theyre
nervous. It took McHenry several
years to get used to being on stage,
she says. My voice and knees used
to shake like crazy, but eventually I
got comfortable with it, she says.
Whether testing the waters of
the talent pool as an observer or
braving the stage as a performer,
attending an open mic night is a
worthwhile experience to diversify
your social routine.
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 07
oUt
I like mic
by Charissa Young
KIT LEFFLER
WhErE to go
Want to test your
performance skills or hear
something new tonight?
Check out these open mic
events around town.
Open Mic Night
What? Musical performances
When? Mondays at 9:30 p.m.
Where? The Bottleneck
How much? 21+ FREE, 18-21
$3
How old do I have to be? 18+
What if I want to perform?
Sign up for 30-minute sets
begins at 3 p.m. the Monday
two weeks in advance
The Spanktones Open Jam
What? Open jam session
When? Mondays at 10 p.m.
Where? Jazzhaus
How much? $2
How old do I have to be? 21+
What if I want to perform?
Sign up for 15-minute sets
starting at 9 p.m. on the same
night as the performance
That Acoustic Jam Thing
What? Acoustic jam session
When? Wednesdays at 10 p.m.,
except the frst Wednesday of
the month
Where? Jazzhaus
How much? $2
How old do I have to be? 21+
What if I want to perform?
Sign up for 15-minute sets
starting at 9 p.m., the same
night as the performance
Fresh Ink
What? Poetry slam
When? First Wednesday of
every month at 10 p.m.
Where? Jazzhaus
How much? $3
How old do I have to be? 21+
What if I want to perform?
Sign up for 15-minute sets
starting at 9 p.m., the same
night as the performance
If youve been sIttIng In front of a
computer for hours on end, It may be
tIme to take a breather.
tip
Karen Johnson, yoga instructor at
Lawrence Bodyworks Downtown, offers
two yoga-based stretches that get your
blood pumping and relieve stress in
your hamstrings and shoulders.
Standing Forward Fold Space legs
three feet apart, with your feet parallel,
and hinge forward from your hips. Put
your hands behind your back, interlace
your fngers and pull toward the ceiling.
Cat and Dog Tilt First, arch your
spine and stretch out your lower back.
Next, sway forward with your chest out,
lengthening the front of your body. Do
the stretch on your hands and knees or
while standing in a hot shower.
Learn more at: www.yogakaren.com
Marion Hixon
Got the jitters? FeelinG your body jerkinG as you slowly
driFt oFF in that cubby at the library? its a phenomenon
called sleep start, by which your brain attempts to alert
your body that you are FallinG. in reality, the only thinG
youre FallinG into is a deep sleep.
Source: (Childrens health system) Nemours Foundation
Marion Hixon
did you know
health
08

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
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LIFTING AGAINST THE CLOCK
How to maximize the benefts of your workout time
At 5:16 a.m. Kristen Robben waits
alone in the dark parking lot outside
the Student Recreation Fitness Center.
When an employee unlocks the door at
5:30 a.m., Robben is the frst person to
walk in. She pulls her brown hair back
in a ponytail and heads for a treadmill.
Its workout time.
Robben, Victoria senior, is an early
bird. She burns calories before the sun
rises because, between her classes
and her job as a physical therapist, she
doesnt have much time to spare.
Neither do a lot of students. Most of
us want to look like a superstar without
sacrifcing partying like one. We want
the most bang for our temporal buck.
If youve only got half an hour to
spare a few days a week, here are a
few ways to make the most of your
workout.
Cardio consideration
Playing basketball or ultimate
frisbee may sound like more fun, but
running allows you to burn the most
calories in the shortest amount of time,
says Elizabeth Stewart, an exercise
physiologist and a researcher at the
Universitys Energy Balance Lab.
Sports are more intermittent and
skill driven,she says.Youll get a better
workout if you go run for 30 minutes.
But dont give up a sport right away,
says Brian Tabor, Springfeld, Mo., junior
and personal trainer at Lawrence
Athletic Club, 3201 Mesa Way. Its most
important to do cardio exercises you
enjoy so that youll continue to do
them, he says.
Do the big lifts
Too often people focus on isolated
muscles when they weight train, Tabor
says.
I always see guys working their
biceps in front of the mirror, he says.
But guys can make their routine a
lot better by getting more big muscle
movements.
If youve only got time for one or
two types of lifts, Tabor recommends
full body lifts that require you to use
a wide range of muscles at once.
Olympic lifts like hang cleans and push
presses, which involve hefting a barbell
from the ground to your waist or your
waist to above your head, will exercise
your lower body as well as your upper
body and are probably the most time-
effcient exercises, Tabor says.
Superset
Rather than standing around
chatting between exercise sets,
alternate core body lifts with stability
exercises, says Andrea Hudy, associate
director of strength and conditioning
for the mens basketball, womens
basketball and volleyball teams. Each
set of core body lifts, like the bench
press or hang cleans, should be
followed by stability exercises like sit-
ups. That way you let your core muscles
rest for about a minute between sets
without sacrifcing exercise time. After
the sit-ups, do another set of core lifts.
Super-setting is the most effective
way to get through a workout,
especially if youre constrained by
time, Hudy says.
Get your timing down
Your body reaches its physiological
peak between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.,
Stewart , a physiologist, says. During
this time, your metabolism is at an
increased level and your body should
be warmed up but not tired.
So if youve got the luxury of
exercising in the afternoon, take
advantage of your bodys prime
condition.
But if you would rather avoid the
masses already heeding that advice,
Stewart recommends working out
early. Im a huge proponent of the
morning, she says. Nothing is in your
way. You dont have to beat the lunch
rush, and you have a positive mindset
for the rest of the day.
Simple steps
If the only time youre not sitting at
a desk or behind a computer is when
youre walking to your next class, dont
sweat it. Actually, do.
Pick a route to your next class that
involves a steep hill or stairs. Walking
fast uphill produces almost the same
cardiovascular benefts as jogging on a
fat surface, Stewart says.
It only takes fve minutes and its
the quickest, most effcient thing to
do, she says.
For people on the fat track from
class to class, Stewart recommends
buying a walking odometer.This watch-
like device will count the number of
steps you take during the day. For
your daily hike to class to really make
a physiological difference, you should
take somewhere between 10,000 and
12,000 steps, Stewart says.
People who have them are often
amazed at how little they walk each
day, she says.
Walking odometers can cost as little
as $20 or as much as $100. You should
be able to fnd them at most health
and ftness stores.
Catch enough zzzs
The physiological benefts of exercise
dont actually manifest themselves
until you hit the sack. Your body builds
muscle tissue while you sleep, so if
youre sacrifcing an adequate nights
rest in order to hit the gym, you may
not see the full fruit of your labors,
Tabor says.
Between seven and eight hours is
adequate rest for most college students,
he says. And if you can catch a nap in
the early afternoon, all the better.
Keep a routine
However you maximize your workout
time, make sure you stay consistent.
Exercising at inconsistent times or
doing different workout routines every
week is easier to neglect than a ftness
plan that you treat like a habit.
An established routine will also cut
back on excuses not to exercise, which
will also keep you on good terms
with former KU athletic director Bob
Frederick.
I just dont accept the excuse that
people say they dont have enough
time, says Frederick, interim chair of
the health, sport and exercise science
department. You can always fnd time
to work out. It will make you more
productive and effcient.
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 09
SCOTT KASERMAN
by Jason Shaad
HEALTH
Sidney Baker views the body as a work of music. Everything has its own
rhythm, he says. Your breath, heart rate, brain waves everything dances to
its own beat.
This rhythm can help people manage their ftness, says Baker, a medical
doctor and the author of The Circadian Prescription: Get in Step with Your Bodys
Natural Rhythms to Maximize Energy, Vitality, and Longevity.
At the core of Bakers book is the concept of circadian rhythm. Circadian
rhythm involves changes in everything, from your metabolism to your body
temperature, during a 24-hour cycle which corresponds to your sleep/wake
cycle. Basically, your body chemistry changes slightly at different times of day.
When your rhythm is disturbed, you can feel off think jet lag. But you can
take advantage of your bodys natural fuctuations to improve your health,
Baker says.
The body processes proteins best in the morning and processes carbohydrates
best at night, he says. And, fnally, exercise at the same time each day or, if
youre training for an athletic event, exercise at the time you expect to compete.
Your bodys inner rhythms will adjust themselves to your workout, which will
improve your productivity during exercise, Baker says.
RhYthm: Youve got moRe
thAn You might think
S
Samantha Samuel is pretty, smart,
laid-backandfunnyallthe qualities
of agirlyoudtake home tomom. But
since shes been at the University of
Kansas, shes only been on one date,
if you can even call it that. Collecting
researchforherthesis, she foundaguy
tohelp herout.Iwasattractedtohim,
butIdontknowif he wasattractedto
me, saysthe SiouxFalls, S.D. graduate
student. We met for coffee, and he
ended up buying it for me. I didnt
reallythinkof itasadate, buthe didnt
have topayforit.
MarkAdamscancountthe number
of datesheshadonone hand. Besides
a fve-year relationship, the Overland
Park graduate student hasnt dated
at all. Perhaps my style of dating is
just to play it cool, he says. There
are a couple people I might have
worked up the courage to ask out if
they hadnt been so intimidating and
unreadable.
Students used to come to college
looking for love. Couples dated, lived
together, got engaged; now, the
childrenofthosecoupleshavedumped
the date. In 2001, the Independent
WomensForum, aconservative group,
conducted a nationwide survey of
1,000 college women and only half
of the seniors reported being asked
out on six or more dates during their
entire college career. For a variety of
reasons, the traditional dinner-and-
a-movie rendezvous is dead and
expertssaythere are goodreasonsto
bring itback.
Lets try to defne date. Too many
college students classify a date as
simply meeting somewhere, says Erin
Harveth, Tulsa, Okla., junior. In order
toqualifyasadate, someone needsto
ask, she says. The other person says
yes, theygosomewhere andwhoever
asked, pays.
The good old days
Back in colonial times, courtship
was a formal affair. Young men and
women were properly introduced
before talking to each other, and the
girls mother would ask the boy to
call on her daughter. Courting was
done in a girls home
(so parents could
chaperone) and the
process usually had
one goal: marriage.
As time went on,
dating became more
informal. People
scoffedatthe ideaof
going steady before
WorldWar II because
dating alotof people
meant popularity
in high school, says
author Beth Bailey in her book From
Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in
20
th
-Century America.
But the war changed everything.
Women outnumbered men, and
mediascaredgirlswithwarningsthat
they would never marry because of
the lack of men. Young girls began
marrying in high numbers. By 1959,
47 percent of brides were under 19
and those who were older said they
had gone to college solely to fnd
a husband. This also meant dating
beganearlier. Baileycitesa1961 study
of amiddle-classPennsylvaniadistrict
where 40 percentof ffthgraderswere
already dating (i.e., holding hands
andkissing).
Dating was on its way out when
Marciana Vequist, a psychologist at
Bert Nash Mental Health Center, 200
Maine St., went to college in the 70s.
Women used to go to college to fnd
a husband, and men went to fnd
a wife; there was much more focus
on courtship because it was the last
opportunity for men and women to
meet someone their own age, she
says. Now, people
are focused on
education and
getting a career,
and merely hoping
to meet someone
along the way.
Thesedays,there
are no prescribed
rulesonhowdating
works. Itusedtogo
unsaid that guys
dideverythingfrom
askingthegirloutto
paying the tab. Now, there are nosuch
rules each is waiting for the other
tomake the frstmove. JudyDutton, a
psychotherapistinLawrence, saysone
reasonforthismentalityisbecause its
become acceptable for women to do
the asking.
Despite the lack of protocol, good
old-fashioned chivalry wouldnt go
unappreciated, at least by Samuel,
who would like to have more than
one so-called date while shes at KU.
Some guystodayare lazy, andexpect
girls to do the asking. Some girls are
comfortable doing that, but a lot of
girlsstillwanttobe pursued,she says.
Iwouldlove foraguytomake the frst
move. Imnotone tochase someone.
Nevertheless, a guy asking a girl
on a date is still unusual, says Matt
Katz, syndicated dating columnist for
Gannett newspapers. A guy asking
a girl on a date in college may seem
so traditional that it might seem
desperate and she could be turned
off, he says.
Technical diffculties
The change in the college dating
scene really went downhill when e-
mail, Internet, instant messaging, text
messaging and cell phones hit the
mainstream. Technology has made
relatingsoeffortlessthatnoone needs
to go on offcial dates anymore, says
Jeff Cohen, dating and relationship
guide at dating.about.com. Its easier
thanevertofirtandstayintouchwith
someone, he says.
Without these gadgets, wed be
forced to go on dates to learn more
aboutsomeone else. ColleenStockton,
Wichita senior, blames cell phones
for the demise of traditional dating.
People usedtohave tocalleachother
on house phones to set up a formal
date; now people just use their cell
phones to let someone know where
theyllbe, incase theydlike tojoin, she
says. Textmessaging isworse thancell
phones.Itslessintimate because you
dont really get to know each other,
Stocktonsays, whichisthe pointof a
date.
Technology has changed the way
men and women get together ever
since Katz, the dating columnist,
graduated in 2000. I know now that
kids in college are IMing each other
for late-night booty calls, he says.
Everyone is walking around with a
cell phone, which makes means of
communication, meeting up and
hooking up, easier.
Hooking up
Contrarytopopularbelief, meeting
someone at a bar and taking him
or her home does not constitute a
frst date; it counts as ahook-up. To
most college students, hooking up
can mean anything from kissing to
sex. In the 2001 survey done by the
IWF, 91 percentof womenreporteda
rampanthook-upcultureoncampus.
Thirty-nine percent of respondents
saidtheywere virgins, 40 percentsaid
they had hooked up, and 10 percent
saidtheyhadhookedupmorethansix
times. Inanarticle inThe Boston Globe,
Kristen Richardson, campus program
managerof the IWF, saysHooking up
hasjustbecome the norm. Forwomen
especially, these uncommitted, purely
physical relationships can wreak
havoclateronanddistorttheirideaof
relationships.
During college, students may not
be looking for the commitment of a
relationship, so hooking up with no
strings attached is an easy way out.
Guysincollege arentreallyatastage
where they want a real relationship,
says Brighid OMalley, Omaha
sophomore. Most of the guys I know
are interestedinhaving funwiththeir
friends. Getting ass every now and
thenisjustaperk.
If the distinction between hooking
up and dating seems slippery, its
because a lot of the time, one leads
to the other. Kathy, Shawnee Mission
senior, says shes been talking to a
guy for a couple of months. In those
couple of months, she and her hook-
up buddyhave onlybeenonone date
after theyd hooked up at least 15
times. I was fne with just hooking
up, but I was excited that he took me
to dinner and it wasnt awkward, she
says. Kathy and herfriend see each
otheraboutfve daysduring the week;
FridaysandSaturdaysare agiven. Even
though they see each other often,
she says she doesnt consider herself
dating him yet. It will probably
lead to a relationship, she says. But
I feel like even once youre boyfriend
and girlfriend, you dont go on dates
anyway.
The relationship factor
Most students assume that if
youre in a relationship, youre dating.
When youre in a relationship, youre
boyfriend and girlfriend; to be dating,
you must actually pursue the act of
going on a date. And dating, says
Dutton, a psychotherapist, is healthy
for relationships. She says taking
time to go out and do something
special is vital in a relationship. Its
about having that commitment to
be together at that time and not just
because youre already there, she
says. Having a deliberate focus keeps
the relationship fresh and it means
youre attending to it. You have to
really attend to relationships to keep
themalive.
Angela Rasmusson, Topeka
alumna, hasbeeninvolvedwithher
boyfriend, DerickSchweppe, Topeka
senior, for six and a half years. They
trytogoonrealdatesatleastonce
or twice a week because even
though theyre in a relationship,
its still important to go out on a
regularbasis. Welivetogethernow,
soitslikehangingoutwithmybest
friend all the time, she says. We
need to go out on dates to make
it feel like a relationship, not just a
friendship.
Costs and benefts
The benefts of dating arent
exclusive tofull-fedgedrelationships.
10 JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
CONTINUED ONPAGE 12
In order to qualify as
a date, someone needs to
ask. Te other person
says yes, they go
somewhere and whoever
asked, pays.
Erin Harveth, Tulsa
junior
by Rachel Zupek
What happened to courtship and why it ought to be brought back
Te lost
dating
art of
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 11
A lot of students dont realize that dating
is actually an important and beneficial
part of life that a lot of us are missing out
on. In a survey at Western Connecticut
State University, 50 male students,
ages 18 to 23, were questioned about
the advantages and disadvantages of
college dating. One hundred percent
agreed that college dating has benefits:
namely, high self-esteem and frequent
interaction with
females. The study
also found that
students liked the
added benefits of
falling in love, finding
c o mp a n i o n s h i p
and learning what
they want in future
relationships.
Harveth, who has
been on too many
dates to count,
agrees that dating
frequently helps her
figure out the kind
of person shed like
to be with in the
future. Its fun to
date different types
of people and get to know them, she
says. Through that, you get to know
yourself.
Of course, there are also some costs
when it comes to dating and not just
the hole it puts in your wallet. Dating
is scary. It takes guts to ask someone
out because, of course, theres fear of
rejection. You arent alone if you find
dating exciting, but agonizing and
anxiety-provoking as well, says Emily
Kofron, Lawrence therapist. Men and
women find dating painful because it
raises hopes that are usually not met,
she says. We all hate rejection. Strange
as it sounds, try not to take it personally.
Often, it has more to do with the person
doing the rejecting than it does about
you.
Now you know
why you should
be dating; so what
should you do if
you want to go out
with that super-
cute guy or girl
from class? Take
matters into your
own hands, and just
ask. These days, it
doesnt matter what
tradition says its
acceptable for a girl
to ask a guy out.
Schweppe says he
was surprised when
longtime girlfriend
Rassmusson first
asked him out, but only because he
barely knew her not because she was
doing the asking. It doesnt matter who
asks whom, he says, as long as there is
mutual attraction and interest. Its only
one night, he says. If you have a good
time, dont worry about how you got
there.
12

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11
The traditional dinner date has been dumped.A 2001 survey found that
91 percent of college women reported a rampant hook-up culture in
its stead.
RACHEL SEYMOUR
Dont let the bad experience
become larger than life itself.
Let some time go by, get the
perspective of trusted friends
on what went wrong, develop a
new strategy if need be, then get
back in the saddle. Avoidance can
become a problem in and of itself.
Above all, dont take rejection
personally. After all, that person
may have done you a favor.
Emily Kofron, therapist and
counselor in Lawrence
WHAT TO DO WHEN
DATES GO WRONG
KU StUdentS SpeaK
What is your ideal date?
It would be fun to go out to eat and
then go play air hockey, foosball or
Frisbee golf. Something where you
actually get to talk to people and get
to know them.
Samantha Samuel, Sioux Falls, S.D.
graduate student
Whats one special way youve asked
someone out?
I was known for eating Altoids and
always having them available, so I
offered her one. Inside the tin was
written in Sharpie,This is my clever
way of asking you out
Mark Adams, Overland Park
graduate student
What is the best date youve ever been on?
The guy I have been seeing took me
to Free State Brewery for dinner and
we just talked and laughed the whole
time anytime a boy can make me
laugh, he scores big points. He even
ordered my dessert for me and then
opened my car door when we left.
Erin Harveth, Tulsa junior
SOUTH WIND
Daily 3/17-3/23/06
Wallace Theater Corporation II (785) 832-1344
No restrictions on Failure, Shaggy & Hills will be lifted 3/20
*No Passes; ***No Passes/No Supersavers
V for Vendetta*** (R)
R 2:25 1:30 4:30 7:30 10:30
V for Vendetta ***(R)
1:00 2:25 4:00 7:00 10:00
The Shaggy Dog* (PG)
1:50 2:15 4:40 7:10 9:30
Madeas Family Reunion (PG13)
1:45 2:00 4:20
Pink Panther (PG)
1:45 6:40 9:10
Curious George (G)
1:35 1:20 3:40
Dave Chappelles Block Party (R)
1:50 8:00 10:15
Worlds Fastest Indian (PG13)
12:24 2:20 3:30 6:30 9:20
The Hills Have Eyes* (R)
1:55 2:25 4:55 7:55 10:20
Failure to Launch***(PG13)
1:50 1:55 4:15 7:45 10:05
Shes the Man* (PG 13)
1:55 2:05 4:45 7:15 9:40
16 Blocks (PG13)
1:05 1:50 3:50 7:40 10:10
Eight Below (PG)
1:15 2:05 4:05 6:45 9:25
Aquamarine (PG)
1:35 1:55 4:10
Ultraviolet (PG13)
1:40 8:10 10:25
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kansan.com
Now.
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 13
W
Girl 1: See that guy? He has a
chinchilla.
Girl 2: Isnt that like a ferret?
Girl 3: No a chinchilla is a coat.
That would be like having a
North Face as a pet.
_______
Girl 1: If I get married young,
do I have my husband go into
debt or just upgrade my ring
later?
Girl 2: Oh defnitely upgrade.
Girl 1: Well, Ill be making like
$250 thou a year, so I guess I
could help him pay it off.
_______
Girl 1: My ass still hurts. If
anyone would like to kiss it, let
me know.
Girl 2: (glances over,
empathetic) Thats sad.
Girl 1: Ive never been on a
real date.
Girl 2: I barely go on them
either.
Girl 1: But you have a
boyfriend.
Girl 2: On the weekends, we
go to his parents house, eat
dinner and then fnd two of
the same soduku and race to
fnish.
_______
Guy 1: Can I borrow some
money?
Guy 2: (inaudible response)
Guy 1: I spent it on a lap
dance for Jason.
Guy 2: I miss out on all the
fun.
Girl 1: How did you hurt your
foot?
Girl 2: I was out, and got
stepped on.
Girl 1: Did a cow step on your
foot?
Girl 2: (stares, confused)
Girl 1: I can explain!
_______
Girl 1: Ooh, did we get new
markers?
Girl 2: New markers?
Girl 1: I love new markers.
(Uses marker.) Well it doesnt
write new but it looks new.
Carolyn Tharp
WESCOE WIT
NOTICE
Brian Bratichak
BITCH
+
moan
Jessica: Clearly, this girl is
overstepping her bounds and
although you may not want
to admit it because shes a
girl and youre a girl, she is
sexually harassing you by
giving you unwanted contact.
How would you feel if it was
some guy fondling you?
Creeped out. In order for this
to stop, you must be direct
about it. If youre planning on
salvaging the friendship, tell
her up-front that you dont
like her that way, but that you
do appreciate her friendship.
If you feel that shes just
not getting the message,
reconsider the friendship
altogether. A friend wouldnt
disrespect you like this.
Brian: The only thing wrong
here is that you arent a
lesbian. Imagine how much
easier it would be if you just
were a lesbian so your friend
could put her hands all over
you whenever she wanted to.
Imagine how nice it would be
to sleep in the same bed with
her. Imagine how nice her
actually, thats what every
guy started thinking about
when you said she loves
to touch you. If you really
have a problem with it, tell
her to stop it. If she doesnt
stop, consider either telling
her girlfriend or getting a
boyfriend to protect you.
Then you wont have to worry
about her touching you with
her fngers dripping in sweat,
softly touching your skin
I have a lesbIan frIend who has a long-dIstance gIrlfrIend.
the problem Is my frIend Invades my personal space and
basIcally puts her hands all over me. how do I tell her that
thIs makes me uncomfortable? hanna, JunIor
Brian: There is only one way to fnd a relation-
ship in a college town: post a fyer in every
classroom on campus that gives every girl your
phone number and a picture of you.Then any
girl who likes you will call you up. Just be sure
you make a note on the fyer that you are look-
ing only for serious candidates for a relationship.
If you are too proud for that, consider doing
what everybody else does to meet girls:TALK
TO THEM. If you arent sure about a girl, just ask
her if she likes you. If you ask and get shot down,
youre in the same position as before; if she says
she likes you, then youve found a candidate.
Jessica: The trick is fnding another person that
feels the same way you do.Think about how
youd like to meet someone.Where are you most
comfortable? What do you like to do? Lets say
you like coffee.Try studying or hanging out at a
coffee shop. Maybe youre into the local music
scene. Check out shows playing at the Granada.
If youre a movie buff, check out what Liberty
Hall or South Wind has to offer. Get involved on
campus or join a youth group. Surround yourself
with people with similar attitudes and interests.
Youll be most likely to fnd these like-minded
people in environments that make you comfort-
able, which will help you open up to meeting
others who are also wanting a relationship. I
would advise you to stray from the bar scene
because typically, thats where people tend to
want to have fun, not seek out relationships.
Good luck, Kevin!
What is the trick to find-
ing someone genuinely
interested in a relation-
ship in a college toWn?
kevin, Junior
Brian: I like to think
Im not a guy who gets
jealous, but Jamal,
I envy your situation.
Maybe the white girls
havent been around
many black men, so
its a by product of
their curiosity. Maybe
youre extremely
attractive to white
women. Whatever
the reason, take
advantage of the
situation. Odds are
you wont have girls
throwing themselves
at you the rest of
your life. But have
some standards
and reasoning for
engaging with
her (commenting
favorably on your
jeans/shoes does
not constitute a
good reason). Just
remember to use
protection. You never
know what diseases
sluts are carrying.
Jessica: Im guessing
these girls are using
you for a few reasons:
1) earnest curiosity,
2) to falsify or verify a
myth, and 3) for the
sake of the story,I did
a black guy once and
it was *insert words
of utter profundity
here*. But really,
I strongly suggest
you buck up and get
some self-respect. No
one should ever be
someone elses play
toy. Im sure there are
plenty of black men
who would never have
sex with a woman
for experimental
purposes. Even if
you enjoy that kind
of thing like you
claim, Id think twice
about what youre
getting yourself in to;
youre bound to lose
a lot of respect by
volunteering yourself
to be used.
Why do the White girls at this
school all try to experiment
With the black guy? they act like
theyve never seen us before, but
hey, im not complaining.
Jamal, sophomore
Jessica Crowder
Please send your
questions to
bitch@kansan.com
14

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
#ONTEST2ULES
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I wIsh I knew how
Excitedly entering her dorm
room for the first time last
fall, Maggie Gremmingers jaw
dropped when she saw a tattered
stuffed dog with floppy ears and
button eyes on her
roommates bed. The
Shawnee freshman
asked her dad if he
had brought Mutsie.
He hadnt.
I looked at my
roommate, she says,
and we both freaked
out and screamed
because we had the
same stuffed animal from when
we were kids.
At some point, most of us
couldnt fall asleep without
something soft and comforting
like a stuffed animal, blankie or
pillow. But what of those who
continue to curl up with their
Mutsies throughout college?
Psychologists say the practice
is perfectly normal and more
prevalent than it seems.
Security objects are items,
usually soft and easily held or
carried, that offer a child comfort.
Typically they are used during
bedtime to facilitate sleep or
as a coping mechanism to help
children deal with new situations.
Attachments to various objects
are typical during the first five
years of life, but psychologists
debate whether children should
outgrow the need for security
objects.
Frank DeSalvo, director of
Counseling and Psychological
Services, says that we all have
reminders that comfort us, and
having a specific item to evoke
those feelings is not an uncommon
practice. This behavior may be
viewed as childish, but its really
an issue of how a person finds
comfort.
Most adults have comfort
possessions, though they may
not be as sentimental as a stuffed
animal. It could be a high school
award that is a reminder of proven
abilities, DeSalvo says.
The item provides emotional
support and confidence. It also
can provide inspiration, he says.
Julianne Kueffer, Leawood
junior, still has the baby blanket
her grandmother crocheted for
her. She says she sleeps better
when she has the
blanket. She still takes
it with her when she
goes out of town.
People who
sleep with security
objects typically
can go until college
before theyre made
fun of by others,
says Gary Stollak,
professor of psychology at the
University of Michigan. He says
the problem begins when they
live with strangers.
He compares an adult who
want a comfort object to those
who have a lifelong fear of spiders
or heights the feelings dont
just go away.
We all need something to get
us through the night, Stollak says.
If its a blanket or doll, then so be
it. What gives us comfort should
not be seen as immature.
A blanket or pillow can provide
great emotional support for
those making the transition to
college, Stollak says. For many,
it is the first time to leave home
for an extended time. Bringing a
childhood relic can help alleviate
homesickness. In fact, Stollak says
those who feel they have to give
up their dolls or blankies are more
likely to start drinking alcohol as a
coping mechanism.
Its hard enough to get through
college, let alone life, and people
need something to comfort them
during this time of transition,
Stollak says.
Gremminger didnt bring
Mutsie to school because she
thought it would be considered
dorky by others, she says. At
first she felt guilty, as if she were
leaving behind an old friend. The
encounter with her roommate,
however, reassured her that she
wasnt the only one who needed
a stuffed animal. By the end of the
week, Gremminger had retrieved
her beloved Mutsie.
why we cant say good night to that bastion of
childhood, the security blanket
by Malinda Osborne
Sixty percent of American
children have at least a mild
degree of attachment to a
soft, inanimate object some
time during their life. Thirty-
two percent exhibit strong
attachment. The incidence of
attachments to soft objects in
the Netherlands, New Zealand,
and Sweden is comparable to
that in the United States. Korean
children have substantially
fewer attachments to blankets
(18 percent) than do American
children. Only 5 percent of rural
Italian children have transitional
objects, compared to 31 percent
of urban Romans and 62 percent
of foreign children living in
Rome. However, just 16 percent
of Londons children have a
special security object.
Source: Gale Encyclopedia
Childhood and Adolescence
Study conducted by Richard H.
Passman
We all need
something to
get us through
the night.
Gary Stollak,
University of
Michigan professor
of psychology
to quIt you, blankIe
KIT LEFFLER
CuDDly buDDIes aRounD the woRlD
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 15
notICe
6
4
slobodan milosevic and
kirby puckett die.
These two have more in common than
you might think: Milosevic was once
a promising young outfelder in the
Detroit Tigers farm system, and Puckett
had been a known proponent of ethnic
cleansing in the Baltic region.
HAWK TOPICS
RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW
NEWS YOU CAN USE
1
SPrIng breAK begInS
TOmOrrOW.
2
brandon rusH Wins biG Xii
FresHman oF tHe year.
Not unlike Derek
Zoolander, Rush
keeps racking up the
accolades, despite an
inability to go to the
left.
3
Dont forget to pack
sunscreen, a beach towel and
some Valtrex for the herpes
youll contract from that hot
guy with the tribal tattoo.
KU MEDIA RELATIONS ASSISTANT
APPEARS ON WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE?
Getting fred from K-State is
comparable to getting rejected by a fat
girl in a bar; its a real sucker-punch to
the gut of a mans self-esteem.
dubai company
retracts oFFer to
buy siX u.s. ports.
Similarly, President Bush formally
retracted his offer to act in the best
interests of the nation.
7
csa: conFederate states oF america,
a Film by ku proFessor kevin Wilmott,
sees its nationWide release.
We havent been this ashamed to be white since that
time we hung out at The Hawk.
a microburst Hits laWrence early
sunday causinG property damaGe all
over laWrence.
While there have been no reports of people being
magically transported to the land Oz, one local Phish
fan says he saw some unicorns and shit.
Former iraQi nuclear cHieF
visits ku.
Enough with all the relevant guests,
KU. Invite someone here who students
might actually want to see. Christopher
Walken, or Ken Griffey Jr., for example.
9
Chris Raine and
K-STATE FIRES MENS
BASKETBALL COACH JIM
WOOLDRIDGE SEVEN
MINUTES AFTER HIS
TEAMS SEASON ENDED.
More noteworthy than one of our own appearing on the show is the fact that Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire is still on the air.
10
16

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
8
4
nOTICe
marcH madness beGins
today.
Buck Fradley, man. Buck Fradley. (And, for
that matter, Duck Fuke. Those
bastards always win.)
5
Matthew Sevcik

JAYPLAY SAYS
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DOWNLOAD
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Noticablyabsentfromthe
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LindseyRamsey
RENT

Finallyasmartmovie!Aftertwo
fullmonthsofcrap, V For Vendetta
isheretochallengeyourpolitical
mind. NataliePortmanstarsinthe
rolethatmadeherbald. Sheplays
aprisonerofthesecretpoliceina
futuristictotalitarianBritainwhois
rescuedbyamaskedmysterious
terrorist/freedomfghtercalledV.
ProducedbyThe Matrixcreators
AndyandLarryWachowski, V For
Vendettapromisesanendtoone
ofthemostdismalmovieseasons
inrecenthistory.
LindseyRamsey
SEE
V FOR VENDETTA
WILCO
Tuesday, March21. Theyre. Really.
Damn. Good. KansasCitysUptown
Theatre, 8p.m. Ticketsare$25.50.
NatalieJohnson
GO
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
CELEBRATE ST.PATRICKS DAY
GoodoldSt. Patrickishere, givingeveryoneand
anyone(Irishornot)achancetorevelintheIrishlifestyle.
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LindseyRamsey
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 17
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ItsnosecretthatAmerican
politicshavereachedfarinto
thetarpit. Slandersarethrown,
peoplearehumiliatedand
threatsaremade. Numerous
booksbypartisanharpieshave
beenpublisheddecryingthe
stateofAmericanpolitics, asit
sinksdeeperintothesludge. So
how, youask, isthissituation
rectifed?
Thesolution, ChrisBachelder
insists, istoresurrectUpton
Sinclair. SinclairwasanAmerican
socialistandmuckraker, most
notablytheauthorofThe Jungle,
whichexposedsecretsofthe
meatindustryinthelate19
th

century. InthenovelU.S.!, Leftists

keepresurrectingSinclairto
helpthembringaboutasocialist
revolution. Whydotheykeep
havingtoresurrecthim?Every
timeSinclairisresurrected,
thefanaticalRightkeeps
assassinatinghim.
Obviously, thenovelisone
bighyperbolicfable. Onlyabout
halfofitisinnarrativeprose
form; therestisamadamalgam
ofvariousAmericanaforms. One
chapterisafauxbookreview
ofanovelSinclairwroteafter
beingresurrectedforthefourth
time. Anotherisaletterwritten
bySinclairtohisson. Othersare
phonecalltranscripts, lettersto
theeditororbookjacketblurbs.
Theproductisafunnyand
imaginativeyetexhaustingaffair,
asthebookbouncesthereader
backandforth.
Bacheldersindictmentof
bothextremesoftheAmerican
politicalspectrumincluding
Sinclairhimself, theepitomeof
oneextremeisextremely
wittyandclever, butperhapstoo
madcapandphilosophicalfor
theaveragereader. Itsdoubtful
mostAmericanstodayknow
whoUptonSinclairevenwas, nor
domanygrasptheideological
differencesofpoliticaltheories.
Aworkingknowledgeofbothis
requiredtoknowwhatisgoing
oninthenovel. Thebooksmajor
downfallisthatitcouldbetoo
elitist.
Indetailingthedetermination
andredundancyoftheLeft
andtheultra-violenthysteria
oftheRight, Bacheldersfnal
thesisisthateveryactionhas
consequences, andeverything
wedomatters. Thenovelalso
describeshowsomeonefrom
TexaskillstheresurrectedSinclair
withaharpoon. Ifthatdoesnt
makeastatementonthestateof
Americanpoliticstoday, Idont
knowwhatdoes.
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Price: $14.95
Available in Paperback3,5stars

KelseyHayes
by Chris Bachelder U.S.!
BOOK
InFailure to Launch, SarahJessicaParker
playsPaula, awomanwhoishiredto
simulatearomance withTrip(Matthew
McConaughey), inordertoencouragehim
tomoveoutofhisparents house. Ofcourse,
PaulafallsinlovewithTrip, andeverything
youwouldexpecttohappen, happens.
AndIhavenoproblemwiththat.
ComplainingthatFailure to Launch is
unoriginalwouldbelikeorderingapizza
andyellingatthedeliveryboybecauseithas
cheeseonit. Theproblemwiththemovieis
notthatitiscoatedwithahot, meltedlayer
ofclichs. Theproblemisthatthemovie
rushessoquicklythroughitsroutinethatyou
neverreallygetachancetohaveanykind
ofreactiontoit. Isuspectthewriterswrote
duringthecommercialbreaksofsitcoms, and
neverbotheredtogobackandedit.
Andthentheresthesub-plot. Iimaginethe
followingconversationtookplacebetween
theproducersandwriters:
Themoviesonlyanhourlong. Nobodys
goingtopayeightbuckstoseea60-minute
movie. Weneedtomakeitlonger.
Yes, buthow?
Well... wecouldaddasub-plotwith
McConaugheyrepeatedlygettingattackedby
animals.
Andtheydid.
Failure to Launch isanenjoyablemovie
initssmirking, easy-goingway. Itstoobad
noonebotheredtoseparatethechafffrom
thescript. Thatwontbeaproblemifyoure
smittenwithMatthewMcConaughey(or
SarahJessicaParker). Butifyourenot, you
shouldprobablygetyourromanticcomedy
fxelsewhere.
Rated PG-13, 97 minutes
South Wind

KitFluker
Failure to Launch
MOVIE
REVIEWS
18

JAYPLAY 03.16.2006
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YoullwishyouweredeadYou'llwanttoleavethetheaterearlyYou'llsay"eh"You'llravetoeveryonewhoasksYoullhaveareligiousexperience
What happens
when Breakfast
at Tiffanys meets
Weird Science?
by Melissa Byrd
Wehadbeendatingnearlytwo
yearswhenithappened. Myboyfriend
wantedtotalkaboutengagementrings.
Thissurprisedme. Thoughheis
hardlythefear-of-commitmenttype,
untilrecentlyhehadbeencautious
aboutplanningourfuturetogether.
Hisreasoning: Youshouldntspeculate
onthefuturebecauseyoudontknow
whatwillhappen. Tosomeextent, I
agreed. Butthatdidntstopmefrom
puttinghisnameonTiffany&Co.s
mailinglistafewmonthsago.
Helaughedatmynot-so-slyantics.
Igotsomethinginthemailtoday, he
saidnonchalantlyonthephone. Iknew
immediatelyhewastalkingaboutthe
eggshellbluecatalog.Ithinksomeone
istryingtogivemeahint.
Uh, Idontknowwhatyouretalking
about, Isaid.Maybethecatalogwas
supposedtogotoyourneighbor.
Yeah, maybe. hereplied, knowing
fullwellIwaslying.
Whenhesuggestedwecheckout
ringsatthemallonerainySaturday, my
jawdropped. Hegrabbedmyhand, took
adeepbreathandwalkedintothefrst
store. Wewereimmediatelygreetedby
anover-enthusiasticsaleswoman.
WhatcanIhelpyouwithtoday? she
askedwithawidesmile.
Hequicklyanswered. Oh, werejust
looking, thanks.
Wewalkedtotheglasscasewhere
thediamondringsweredisplayedinall
theirsparklingglory. Ipeeredoverand
wasimmediatelydrawntothegrandest
one.
Thesaleswomanwanderedovertous
againafterafewminutes.Areyousure
theresnothingIcanhelpyouwith? she
persisted.
Oh, Imjustinthepreliminary
researchstage, hereplied.Iwantedto
gathersomeinformation. Andthenhe
startedspeakingintongues.
Sowhenadiamondisclassifedas
aVVS1, thevalueishigherthanaVS1
andaDisthehighestcolorquality,
right? heasked.
Thesaleswomantiltedherheadand
wrinkledherbrow, lookingconfused.
Sheobviouslydidntgetthiskindof
question(orthiskindofcustomer)very
often.
Myheadstartedtospin. VVS1. VS1.
SI2. Hespoutedofftheseletterand
numbercombinationslikeRainMan.
Heturnedtomeandasked,Would
youratherhaveaVVS1, Hcolorwith
averygoodcutoraVS1, Fcolorwith
anidealcut? Hesoundedlikehewas
conductingahighlycomplexscience
experiment.
BecauseIclassifydiamondsinterms
suchassparkly,pretty andbig, his
questionwasalittleovermyhead.
WhenIimaginemyengagementring,
Ipicturesomethingsimple, classicand
elegant; technicaldiamondjargon
doesntreallyfowwithmyhopeless
romanticideals.
Practical, analyticalandaself-
proclaimedOCDsufferer, heisnothing
likemeinmanyways. Iattributeitpartly
togenetics, partlytohisprofession.
Hecomesfromafamilyofengineers.
Ofthesixpeopleinhisfamily, fveare
engineers, himincluded. Hetookita
stepfurtherandwenttolawschool,
aplaygroundforpeoplewithsimilar
predispositions. Nowthathesalawyer,
andconstantlysurroundedbyother
lawyers, heisevenmoremethodically
inclined. Probabilitiesandlogicarein
hisblood. Detailsarehislifeforce.
Hebuilthisowncomputer. I
boughtanover-pricedPCwithmore
featuresthanIneededbecauseI
didntcomparisonshop. Helikes(and
isinfuriatinglygoodat)math. Icant
dobasicalgebra. Heisrelentlessly
thorough. Imimpulsive. Hereignsover
hismoneywithanironfst. Itakeamore
progressiveapproachtofnances.
Butinspiteofourdifferences, weft
asacouple. Wehaverubbedoffonone
anotherinsubtleways. Ivedeveloped
anastyhabitofdouble-checkingthat
Ivelockedmydoorsorpaidabillon
time. Andhenowknowsnavysocksand
blackshoesdontgotogether.
Later, athisapartment, hecalledme
intothecomputerroomwherehewas
working.
Iwanttoshowyousomething, he
said.
Hemotionedformetositdown. I
did. Heturnedtome, beamingproudly,
pulledupExcelonhiscomputerand
showedmeaspreadsheethemadethat
compareddiamonds.
Istifedalaugh. Diamondsmaybea
girlsbestfriend, butnothingsayslove
likeagoodspreadsheet.
SPEAK
03.16.2006 JAYPLAY 19
KITLEFFLER
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ALL OF YOUR
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Deck Open after the
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ST.PATRICKS DAY-
Deck Open after the
parade! Guiness &
Green Beer. KU game
on BIG screen! no
cover! $2 Jagerbombs
with DJ Scottie Mac &
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Lawrence
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WATCH THE
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WATCH THE
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WATCH THE
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WATCH THE
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