All-in

bring together your friends

for a game of poker
Self-reliant protection
three students discuss
why they own frearms
students raising their
children and their GPAs
balancing act
{
}
April 2, 2009
Volume 6, Issue 26 [ ]
5 NOTICE: right on target
7 STAGE PRESENCE: the bees knees with Colony Collapse
10 THATS DISGUSTING: brush before bedtime
11 NURTURE BY NATURE: blueberry goodness
12 GREEN IT: push greener
13 DIY: start a fre
13 IN THE LIFE: critter control
14 REVIEWS: dont miss Duplicity
Clockwise from top right: Contributed
photo; photo by Libby Napoli; photo
illustration by Alex Bonham-Carter
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April 2, 2009
table of contents
Cover photo by Ryan Waggoner
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April 2, 2009
Editor Matt Hirschfeld
Associate editor Jessica Sain-Baird
Designers Erica Birkman, Lauren
Cunningham
Contact Elliot Kort, Stephanie Schneider
Health Sachiko Miyakawa, Megan Weltner
Manual Becka Cremer, Katherine Mulder,
Adam Schoof
Notice Madeline Hyden, Ross Stewart
Play Kelly Breckunitch, Kristopher
McDonald
Contributors Drew Anderson, Mark
Arehart, Alicia Banister, Taylor Brown,
Chance Dibben, Mia Iverson, Carly
Halvorson, Daniel Nordstrom, Meghan
Nuckolls, Tom Powers, Abigail Olcese,
Brieun Scott, Kelci Shipley, Amanda Sorell
thursday, april 2 friday, april 3 saturday, april 4
monday, april 6
sunday, april 5
jayplayers
editors note
calendar
Crumpled food
wrappers, scratched-
up CD players and
piles of backpacks
lined the foor of the
15-passenger van
I rode in with my youth group to Canada in
Summer 2004. Because we traveled there for
two full days there and two full days back, it felt
as if the van was our home. We were on our
way to Maniwaki, a town located on a river in
Quebec, to help renovate a summer camp for
a week.
We stayed in a cabin on the river, which was
a nice change from the cramped van we traveled
northeast in, but not much different at the same
time. The cabin was a place of poor phone signals,
no WiFi and nights spent on air mattresses.
At the camp, one of our frst jobs was to
spend an entire day sandpapering an at-least-
20-foot-long steel bridge. After spending hours
removing rust by hand, we painted it a bright
red. I was so proud of our work that I took a
picture of the bridge, but my black-and-white
flm failed to give it justice.
Paying such close attention to the renovation
of a bridge sounds as though it should have felt
boring or frustrating, but the people on the trip
made it enjoyable. What wasnt so enjoyable was
the mass quantity of mosquitoes that chose to
make our days outdoors a living hell with their
incessant company. Wearing a long-sleeve T-shirt,
jeans and tennis shoes didnt stop me from
spraying endless amounts of mosquito repellent
directly on my clothesit mostly didnt work.
Other days, wed work in the camps woods.
Never before had I attempted to useor even
come in contact withan ol fashioned handsaw.
Despite help from even another person to use a
single handsaw on a tree trunk, it was probably
the most diffcult challenge, physically, that I had
encountered on the trip. But its what made being
in Canada such a radically different experience
than any other trip I could have made that
summer.
See Stephanies personal essay on page 15
about her trips with family to their cabin in
Canada, and how roughing it in the Great North
has felt more like a greater escape to her than a
trip to, say, Cancun.
I havent been to Canada since that summer,
but it wasnt because the mosquito bites, fumes
from painting and close calls with handsaws
scared me off. The trip actually showed me that
having an adventure often means going off the
beaten trail, and that you can never have enough
bug spray in tow.
Jessica Sain-Baird, associate editor
wednesday, april 8 tuesday, april 7
Poker Pub
Conroys Pub, 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.,
free, all ages
Calder Quartet
The Lied Center, 7:30 p.m., $12
for students, all ages
Found Footage Film
Festival
Granada, 8 p.m., $10, all ages
Floyd the Barber
Pachamamas, 9:30 p.m., free,
all ages
Neon Dance Party
The Bottleneck, 10 p.m., prices
vary, 18+
Chris Denny/Andy
Frasco/Graham
Wilkinson and the
Underground Township
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $4, 21+
Dark Meat/Drakkar
Sauna/Grampall
Jookabox
Jackpot Music Hall, 10 p.m., $6
to $8, 18+
The Fantastic Merlins
with Snuff Jazz!
Eighth Street Tap Room, 10
p.m., $3, 21+
El Paso Hot Button/The
Kinetiks
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $2, 21+
The Service Industry
Replay Lounge, 6 p.m., $3, 21+
Orlando Ventura, piano
Pachamamas, 7 p.m., free,
all ages
Festival of Nations
Woodruff Auditorium, 7 p.m.,
free, all ages
Genius of Women
Burge Union, 7 p.m., free, all
ages
TOK with Black Blunt,
DJ Squad51 Duppy &
DJ Rohan
Granada, 8 p.m., $17 adv or
$20 door, 18+
The Heavy Pets/
Grazgrove
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $7,
18+
Sellout
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $6, 21+
Jucifer/Hammerlord/
The Sixteens/The Old
Black
Jackpot Music Hall, 10 p.m.,
$7, 18+
Iggy Baby
Eighth Street Tap Room, 10
p.m., $3, 21+
Look Mexico/The
Tambourine Club
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $3,
21+
Poker Pub
Conroys Pub, 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.,
free, all ages
Orlando Ventura, piano
Pachamamas, 7 p.m., free, all
ages
Avenged Sevenfold/
Buckcherry/Papa Roach
Topeka Expocenter, 7 p.m.,
$39.75, all ages
Aint Misbehavin
starring Ruben Studdard
The Lied Center, 7:30 p.m.,
$20/student, all ages
The Game with Kutt
Calhoun
Granada, 8 p.m., $25, all ages
Big Smith/Cletus Got
Shot/Charlie Horse
The Bottleneck, 9:30 p.m., $7
adv or $8 door, 18+
Sellout!
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $6, 21+
Saturday Soulclap
with Scenebooster
Soundsystem
Eighth Street Tap Room, 10
p.m., $3, 21+
Poker Pub
The Pool Room, 7 p.m. and
10 p.m., free, 21+
Smackdown! Trivia and
Karaoke
The Bottleneck, 8:30 p.m.,
prices vary, 18+
Stull/Irepress/
Battlefelds/David
Hasselhoff on Acid
Jackpot Music Hall, 10 p.m.,
$5 to $7, 18+
Blue October/Ours
Liberty Hall, 7 p.m., $26 to
$27.50, all ages
Railroad Earth & Split
Lip Rayfeld
Granada, 8 p.m., $25, all ages
Original Music Mondays
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., free,
18+
Dollar Bowling
Royal Crest Bowling Lanes, 9
p.m., $1, all ages
First Mondays with
Chomp Womp!
Eighth Street Tap Room, 10
p.m., $3, 21+
Phillip Glass
The Lied Center, 7:30 p.m., $13
for students, all ages
George Stephanopoulos
The Kansas Union, 7:30 p.m.,
free, all ages
Tuesday Nite Swing
The Kansas Union, 8 p.m., free,
all ages
Bonnie Prince Billy
Granada, 8 p.m., $15, all ages
Thomas/DeLancey Band
Signs of Life, 8 p.m., free, all ages
Astrokitty Comics
Presents: DRINK &
DRAW!
Jackpot Music Hall, 9 p.m., free,
18+
Eulogies
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $2, 21+
The Ting Tings
The Record Bar, 10 p.m., $16,
18+
Billy Spears and the
Beer Bellies
Johnnys Tavern, 6 p.m., free,
18+
Poker Pub
The Pool Room, 7 p.m. and
10 p.m., free, 21+
Chess night at Aimees
Aimees Coffee House, 7
p.m., free, all ages
The Americana Music
Academy Jam
Signs of Life, 7:30 p.m., free,
all ages
William Fitzsimmons/
Rosi Golan
The Bottleneck, 8 p.m., $9 to
$11, all ages
Arthur Dodge
Harbour Lights, 10 p.m., $2,
21+
That Acoustic Jam
Thing
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $2, 21+
Japanther/Ninjasonik/
Coat Party/Fortuning
Jackpot Music Hall, 10 p.m.,
$5 to $7, 18+
The F-Bombers
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $2,
21+
Creative consultant Carol Holstead
Contact us jayplay09@gmail.com
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
785.864.4810
Clarifcations: In the March 26 issue of
Jayplay, the source for Thats disgusting: Dirty
socks was misidentifed. The correct source is
Ralph Mingle, doctor at Shawnee Mission Primary
Care in Shawnee Mission. In the same issue,
in the article The only thing fake is the fnish
in the wrestling ring, the date for Dynamo Pro
Wrestlings next match was incorrect. The match
has been rescheduled for April 29.
We rack our balls for You
601 Kasold
(785) 749-7699
Open 9 am to 2 am Daily
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notice
4
April 2, 2009
In 2004, Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher
began collecting videos from garage sales, thrift
stores and dumpsters. The two compiled the
found footage and showed it to friends for
entertainment. Eventually, the just-for-laughs
show they put on for their friends became a
national tour called the Found Footage Festival.
Pickett and Prueher travel the country to show
the videos and perform live commentary to go
along with them. The Found Footage Festival
will make its frst appearance in Lawrence at
the Granada tonight at 8.
Prueher also wants to remind everyone to
bring video footage tonight to use in future
festivals.
What video started it all?
It all started with a McDonalds training video
I found in the break room of a McDonalds that
I worked at in high school. It was a video for
McDonalds custodians and I could not believe
how stupid it was. My frst thought was, I have
to show this to other people. I immediately
showed it to my friend Joe and we became
obsessed with showing it to friends and making
smartass remarks over it. So we fgured if this
video was right under our noses, what else was
out there? So that started the quest to scour
thrift stores, garage sales and garbage cans and
other out of the way places for VHS tapes. Now,
instead of showing the videos in my parents
living room, we show them in theaters around
the country.
So is this legal?
I dont know if its legal, but our lawyer
assures us that what were doing is under fair
use of satire.
Do you and Joe have jobs outside of
the Found Footage Festival?
This is our passion, but its just part-time.
Joe works at The Onion and I work at The
Colbert Report.
&
A
Q
Nick Prueher, co-
founder of the
Found Footage
Festival
Do you look for new material in
every city you visit?
Yep, the frst thing we do when we get into
a new town is ask around to fnd out where
the good thrift stores are or if there are any
garage sales going on. We go straight to the
VHS section of Goodwill or Salvation Army and
start digging. Weve found that stupid videos
are pretty universal; theres no region of the
country that has more than another.
Are there certain places that have
especially good material?
We were in Alaska last year doing a show
and theres a place called the Bishops Attic on
the outskirts of town. They had a huge VHS
section that had everything from Blockbuster
Video training videos to home movies to locally
produced exercise videos.
Do you guys have a favorite clip?
We fnd exercise videos most often, mainly
because every celebrity who had even minor
success in the 80s or 90s made an exercise
video. Those are always big hits because of the
fantastic fashion choices and poor production
value. Ones featuring Zsa Zsa Gabor, Angela
Lansbury or any range of celebrities who
have no business making ftness videos tend
to go over the best with audiences. Although
in the new show weve got some anti-sexual
harassment videos that have great enactments
of what not to do while at work.
Whats the best part about doing
all of this?
Its like a needle in a haystack fnding that
perfect video thats awful in all the right ways.
We wade through hours and hours of the most
boring stuff to fnd that one gem. But when we
do fnd that one clip that we know will make
people laugh, thats what makes it worthwhile.
For more information and clips from
previous festivals, visit www.myspace.com/
foundfootagefestival.
Madeline Hyden
Contributed photo
Funny times: Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, founders
of the Found Footage Festival, fnd old VHS tapes with
unusually funny material and present it to audiences
across the nation. The festival is tonight at 8 at the
Granada.
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notice
Adam Khan carries a gun for his work as
a security offcer. Eric Stein has a concealed
carry license but also uses his gun for home
protection. Brittany Ramos is looking to get
her concealed carry license once her boyfriend
becomes certified to teach her the course
himself.
They all share something in common: a
desire to protect themselves and others.
In 2001, a Harvard University study found
that 3.5 percent of college students own
frearms. At that time, about 14 million students
attended a two- or four-year university, so
when the study was conducted, close to half a
million college students owned a frearm.
On the job
As college jobs go, one that requires a gun
is defnitely not on par with fipping burgers.
Adam Khan, a security offcer at Mil-Spec
Security Group, a for-hire security business,
and a coworker told several stories in which
shots were almost fredsituations when they
had to draw their guns.
Everyone romanticizes it like westerns,
but if you ever pull one and put it to a guys
chest, youre praying to god. Youre praying to
god that you dont have to use it, says a Mil-
Spec officer and business graduate student
from western Kansas who wishes to remain
anonymous.
Khan, Wichita graduate student, says each
time he had to draw his gun, time slowed down;
he had a moment to think about the situation.
Fortunately, hes never had to shoot someone.
Though Khan carries a gun for work, he also
keeps several guns at home for recreational
purposes and home protection.
For personal protection
After concealed carry became legal in
Kansas in 2006, more than 14,000 people
have applied and attained a concealed carry
license. It costs $150 and requires an eight-
hour training course. Still, 1,252 Kansas
residents between the ages of 20 and 30 have a
concealed carry license.
Eric Stein, Topeka senior, is the campus
leader of Students for Concealed Carry on
Campus at KU. He says he takes his carrying
a gun as a responsibility and feels that hed
Everyone romanticizes it
like westerns
rather be prepared in any situation than risk
that one time when he isnt. He even carries to
churchthe pastor knows and is fne with it.
Thats where I feel somewhat on the job,
Stein says. I sit in the back and make sure
everything goes according to plan. Not that Im
required to carry a gun in church, but Im sure
that I feel safer and others feel safer.
Owning a gun, and being comfortable with
it, can also be a way to break from standard
gender roles.
Im kind of a part-time feminist, says Brittany
Ramos, Overland Park senior. I dont prefer to
have to rely on other people to protect me.
In Kansas, 12 percent of licensed concealed
carriers are women.
At the home
College students are not the prime market
for home security systemshow many college
dwellings have you seen with a security system?
Probably not many. Some students prefer to
protect their homes with a frearm instead.
Khan, the Mil-Spec officer, recalls a
time when he felt the need to use a gun for
protection in his home.
I hear a window breaking, Khan says.
I grab my shotgun, jack a shell into it and it
ended up being the guy next door drunk out
of his mind thinking it was his house and trying
to get into his bed. The houses were identical.
Luckily no one was hurt, and Khans
neighbor paid for the broken window. After
that, though, he didnt see much of his neighbor.
Khan says he thinks after the incident, his
neighbor was afraid of him.
Khan, Stein and Ramos mentioned comfort
as a reason for owning the frearms. They felt
more comfortable with a firearm being in
their homes than without it there. A level of
uncertainty in regard to everyday life is also
present. Its not that gun owners, on a whole,
are paranoidits just that theyd prefer to feel
ready if a terrible situation happens.
I really want my family to not only feel safe
but be safe in my home, Stein says. It makes
me feel better knowing that I have a means to
protect myself. JP
To purchase a new gun, theres only one
shop in town: Jayhawk Pawn & Jewelry, 1804
West Sixth Street.
To practice shooting, theres a range in
the basement of the community building at
115 West 11th Street. Its hours are Monday
through Friday, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. To shoot
there, gun owners need to complete an
introductory course to the range. Its held
on Fridays at 7 p.m. Cost for shooting is $2.
Bring exact changethe cash register is a
fsh bowl.
To get your concealed carry license,
check out the Kansas Attorney Generals
website at www.ksag.org or www.ksag.org/
files/shared/TrainerUpdate09.pdf to find a
instructor in Douglas County. The cost for
a license is $150 and requires an eight-hour
training course.
Where can you go if you want to purchase a gun, practice shooting a gun,
or attain a concealed carry license?
When choosing
to be safe means
owning a gun
By Ross Stewart
rstewart@kansan.com
5
April 2, 2009
Photo by Libby Napoli
Packing heat: This AR-15 is one of the guns owned by Adam Khan, Wichita graduate student.
Photo by Libby Napoli
On the range: Adam Khan, Wichita graduate student, owns 10 guns. He says he spends about $100 every time he
goes out shooting, which is usually every weekend. Khan has been shooting since he was 6 years old.
You gotta know
when to hold em
By Kelly Breckunitch
kbreckunitch@kansan.com
Dont sit there and play Solitaire all by yourselfcall up
some friends and get a poker game going
I slowly curled the top-left edge of the
cards toward me, one at a time. The frst card
gives me hopean ace of clubs. The second
starts an analytical processits the 10 of
clubs, and it was dealt to me at the fnal table
of Student Union Activities poker tournament
my freshman year.
I stayed in the game longer than hundreds
of students, but this was the turning point. I
thought for what must have seemed like an
eternity before I stated solemnly, Im all in.
One competitor with clearly inferior cards
an ace and 8 of spadescalled me.
My cards did the talking and I won it all.
Though the prize was great, the frst thing I did
after winning was call my friends to let them
know what had happened.
With ESPNs round-the-clock coverage of
the World Series of Poker and the advent of
online poker sites, poker has seen a rise in
popularity in recent years. And why not? Its a
great way to socialize with friends.
Eric Jury, SUA games coordinator, says
SUA has been putting on one tournament per
semester. The tournaments have gotten so
popular, Jury says, that SUA may start hosting
two tournaments per semester.
Jury says the last tournament was a full feld
of 152 participants. He says the tournament
doesnt just help SUA, but helps students
socialize. It gets people to open up and start
talking about other parts of their life, Jury
says.
Michael Partridge, Olathe junior, shares
Jurys view on the social aspect of poker.
Partridge hosts a poker night at his apartment.
Youre playing cards and theres just a lot of
downtime to talk, he says. Partridges main
reason for enjoying poker night is not the glory
of taking frst placehe admits he rarely wins.
He says he started the poker night because he
just wanted to have some friends over.
Even a professional poker player can share
that sentiment. Grant Hinkle, 2002 graduate,
became a professional poker player after
winning a World Series bracelet this past
summer, but he didnt give up his roots
playing poker with his friends.
We just get together and mess around.
When I play there, its not as serious. Its just
about having a good time and having fun,
Hinkle says. More than that, Hinkle says games
with friends help build camaraderie.
If you want to get started in poker, you
probably want to start with friends, and not in a
tournament. I remember playing poker for the
frst time and not knowing what I was doing,
having not the slightest clue what the rankings
of hands were, but I got used to it. Your friends
can help you learn along the way, and thats
part of the fun, Hinkle says. The tough love is
part of the learning process.
Stephen Bergman, Baileyville senior, hosts
his own poker night as well with friends. Its
defnitely something we all look forward to,
he says. Bergman says his friends dont take
it too seriously. Thats why a home game is a
good learning environment for people who
havent played poker before.
Hinkle says the poker roots are deep. Its
kind of our nations oldest pastime. People
were playing with friends before this country
was founded, Hinkle says. Theyre drinking,
laughing and having a good time, Bergman
says. How could you pass that up?
So, if you need something to do with
friends, brush up on your poker knowledge and
get your own game going. Before long youll
probably have a new routine with friends. JP
Photo illustration by Alex Bonham-Carter
Bet it all: Poker is a popular way to socialize with friends and relax after a stressful week. Some chips, cards and a
table are all you need to have a good game and, in some cases, increase your weekly earnings.
Well, hopefully you at least know Texas
hold em is the most popular form of
poker played today. Im going to give you a
crash course in hold em and some other
variations of poker so you can pick and
choose what you want to play.
Hold em: The two players to the
immediate left of the dealer place the
initial bets, called blinds. Every player is
then dealt two cards face down and the
frst round of betting starts. After that, one
card is burned (placed in a discard pile)
and three cards are turned face up. This
is called the fop. Another betting round
follows. One more card is burned, and one
is turned face up. This is called the turn.
Another round of betting, and then one
fnal card is burned and the fnal card is
turned face up. This is called the river,
and after that the fnal round of betting
occurs. Than players still in the hand reveal
their cards, and the highest hand wins.
Omaha: Omaha is very similar to
hold em, except that you are dealt four
cards face down initially. The fop, turn and
Poker party
river are all the same, as is the betting. The
one catch is that you can use only two of
your initial four cards when trying to make
the best hand.
Seven card stud: In stud poker
you are dealt two cards face down and
one face up, and then bets go around the
table starting with the lowest card showing.
Afterward, three more cards are dealt
(in three separate turns) with a round of
betting between each turn, with the best
hand showing starting the betting. Then the
fnal card is dealt face down, followed by
a fnal round of betting, and then players
reveal their cards.
Visit
guide.kansan.com
Its 2 a.m.
I want food delivered
Whats open?
theguide
DAILY KANSAN DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THE UNIVERSITY
6
April 2, 2009
play
[stagepresence]
Colony Collapse
All over the world, honeybees are
disappearing and dying. This phenomenon,
dubbed the Colony Collapse Disease
(CCD), is a mysterious disorder causing the
disappearance of millions of honeybees, and
the band Colony Collapse wants to teach the
world about its namesake through its music.
The recently formed post-rock band
chose the name Colony Collapse at the
suggestion of a friend after looking into the
recent epidemic.
From Inhale pollen/Exhale pollution
to A day in the life of a bee, every song
the band writes has one common theme
honeybees. Guitarist Taylor Holenbeck says
the beautiful pollinators of the world give the
band motivation.
Part of music for us should have a purpose
and the bees are our purpose, Holenbeck
says. We want to teach people about this
travesty.
The band has performed at local venues
such as the Jackpot Music Hall but prefers
performing at various bee farms to get a
better understanding of the bees natural
surroundings, trumpeter Brook Pertain says.
Those places dont pay a lot so we play at
bars every once in a while to make ends meet,
but our preference is the bee farms, drummer
and KU senior David Thomas says.
Colony Collapse will be playing April 8 at
the Eighth Street Tap Room. To hear the band
and learn more about CCD, check out www.
myspace.com/colonycollapsed.
Kristopher McDonald
Photo by Kristopher McDonald
All the buzz: Colony Collapsea
few of the bandmates are
pictured aboveis a local band
that is named after the disorder
causing the disappearance of
millions of honeybees.
play
7
April 2, 2009
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(Every Saturday)
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10
February 26, 2009
feature
April 2, 2009 8
W
hen Trish Jackson dropped
her 5-year-old daughter Maiya
off at school that morning,
she could see the excitement
in her daughters bluish-green eyes. As they
pulled up to the school, she made sure Maiya
had all of her pink Valentines to give away to
her classmates. When Maiya got out of the car,
Jackson told her daughter to have a fun day, and
she was so sorry she couldnt go to the party.
Thats OK, mommy. Dont feel bad, Maiya
said. Jackson watched her daughter skip into
the brick school building, her ash-blond hair
blowing in the wind.
Jackson drove to class that day with thoughts
of her daughter fooding her mind. She entered
the dreary KU classroom. The industrial
tile foors, bleak, white walls, and dry, green
chalkboard in the Lindley Hall classroom only
added to her desolate mood. As Jackson looked
around, she thought of her daughter Maiya and
the other mothers in her daughters classroom
helping with the Valentines Day party, wishing so
badly she could be one of them. Jackson allowed
her mind to wander and imagined herself at
the party helping pour soda for all of the kids,
passing out candy to each of Maiyas friends,
and watching her daughter futter around the
classroom in giddy excitement. This day, like
many in Jacksons life, requires a delicate act
of balancing family, school and work, and some
days are easier than others.
It chokes me up just thinking about that
day, Jackson says. I honestly think its more of
a big deal to me than to her. I just enjoy being
involved in her life so much.
Jackson is one of a growing number of
students raising children while attending
the University of Kansas. Out of all of those
students, undergraduates are considered
nontraditional students. In Fall 2006, more than
2,500 nontraditional students were enrolled
at the University and that number has grown
steadily each year, according to the Universitys
Offce of Institutional Research and Planning.
The University does not keep a record of
the number of students with dependents,
but its defnition of a nontraditional student
is an undergraduate student who commutes
10 or more miles to campus, is a parent of
By Megan Weltner
mweltner@kansan.com
dependent children, is married, is a veteran, or
is three or more years older than classmates
(e.g. a 21-year-old freshman).
Jackson, who grew up in Sterling, is a
35-year-old mother of two, Maiya, 5, and Eli, 2,
and has been married to her husband, Robert,
for seven years. Jackson says she dropped
out of college in 1992 because she was not
socially prepared for the college environment.
However, in 2005, at the age of 32, Jackson
decided to go back to school and earn her
undergraduate degree and is now earning her
doctorate in physical geography.
I think its normal for people to be socially
unprepared for college. It is so much freedom
but also a lot of responsibility at a young age,
Jackson says. I didnt appreciate my education
like I do now.
As a graduate student, Jackson not only has
the responsibilities of her family, she has her
own classes and teaches a class each week,
making it hard to attend all of her childrens
activities. Though many students may choose
to sleep in or skip one of their 8 a.m. classes,
Jackson has already been up for hours preparing
breakfast and throwing clothes on her kids.
Mornings are busy. If Im lucky I will get
a chance to shower, now thats if Im lucky,
Trish says.
She rushes Maiya toschool while her husband,
Robert, stays home with their son, Eli, and fnally
is off to her classes. First she has two hours of
Spanish class.Then she teaches a geography class
before heading off to her graduate education
research training class.
At this point, it is already 3 in the afternoon.
It is now when she tends to her duties as
president of the Non-Traditional Students
Foundation. I had to give back to a University
that has given me so much, she says. As
president, she is the representative for the
more than 2,000 nontraditional students on
campus, overseeing their wants and needs.
Jackson has joined with Darryl Monteau,
Non-Traditional Students Foundation adviser, to
plan gatherings, write a monthly newsletter, and
represent students who Monteau says maybe
dont receive as much credit as they should.
These students, specifcally those with
dependents, are so bogged down with
responsibilities other than school that they
are able to appreciate what an education is,
Monteau says. In fact, its hard to get anything
planned because no one has the time to do
extra activities.
Jackson tries to get a workout in each
day but she knows some days the time spent
with her kids is more important. She typically
arrives home about 5 p.m. exhausted, but the
smiles on her kids faces give her a second
wind. Her husband hurries off to his night
classes, making it hard for them to spend any
quality time together.
After 12 years as an auto mechanic, her
husband, Robert, decided that he too would
go back to school. He says there are fnancial
and emotional sacrifces their family has had to
make, but in the end he feels it will all be worth
it. He is looking forward to the day when both
he and Trish have graduated and they can have
a much more fexible lifestyle, allowing them to
spend more time together as a family.
I am looking forward to when we can do
the family projects again. Once I graduate, I
can be much more fexible with my hours. I
guess you could say we are working hard to
eventually work less, Robert says.
While Robert is at class,Trish typically gets
a good couple hours with her kids, who are in
bed by 7 p.m. Although the silence allows Trish
to get her homework done for the next day, it
also reminds her of what she would like to be
doing, such as spending quality time with her
husband.
Sure, I wish that I could see my husband
more, spend more time with my family, read
for pleasure, but my day is so infexible, she
says.I have the responsibilities of being a mom
and I can never take a day off from that.
The balancing act that takes place within a
family is stressful on all members says Andrea
Greenhoot, clinical psychologist and associate
professor of psychology.Though the child may
be missing nurturing and attention, the parent
also misses out on time with friends or his or
her own partner.
***
Jill Ethridge, an undergraduate English
student and a single mother to her son,Ayden,
says going back to school has put stress on her
but mostly she worries about her son.
It was early in the morning when she went
to his room. He had the fu and was shivering
in his bed. His clothes were soaked. Ayden
had thrown up the night before, but even at 8
years old, he knew the stress his mother was
under. He cleaned his clothes himself that night
so that his mother could sleep and put them
back on his small body soaking wet because
he could not get the dryer to work. Ethridge
stared into her 8-year-old sons big round eyes.
His pale, clammy skin felt warm to the touch as
she held him. Mommy, I didnt want to wake
you, she recalls him saying.
Ethridge tears up remembering this
moment months ago when her son had been
so selfess.
It was a feeling unlike any otherguilt,
sympathy and love all at once, Ethridge says.
Like the Jacksons, Ethridge also has to
balance the daily responsibilities of school and
her son.
Ethridge dropped out of college at the age
of 22, got married, and nine years later was
divorced. She became a certifed paralegal
two years ago, then in Fall 2008 decided to go
back to earn her undergraduate degree so she
could go to law school. When she decided to
go back to school, she knew the emotional and
fnancial stress it would have on her family. She
had to make sacrifces. Keeping her full-time
job at Gillett Law Offce meant she did not
qualify for fnancial assistance for her education
but to her it was worth it.
Ethridge works 30 to 45 hours a week on
top of her 15-hour school schedule. To add to
her hectic life, Ethridge has chosen to live two
hours and 15 minutes from campus in Fredonia.
I want a house with a basketball court, a
normal home for my son, Ethridge says. Im
not like your everyday student. I cant share a
house with three other people; it just doesnt
work when youve got a kid. Some nights I use
the drive to catch up with old friends.We chit
chat so I stay awake and sometimes I use it just
to think or brainstorm.There is not much time
to think when you have school, a full-time job
and a son.
Etheridge fnds time when she can to fnish
her homework and maintain her high GPA.
While other parents sit in the school gym
talking and watching the weekly Boy Scout
meetings, Ethridge sits on the foor outside the
gym and fnishes her English 322 homework.
At home, Ethridge has made homework a
special time for mommy and Ayden. Together
they sit at the kitchen table working on their
studies. Ethridge says she has even noticed her
son becoming more passionate about his own
schoolwork since she has gone back to school.
Pat Pisani, executive director for Hilltop
Child Development Center, says she sees a
difference in childrens motivation when their
parents attend the University.
They tend to be more motivated
educationally. They are excited, Pisani says.
They see mom or dad and they are proud of
the fact that they are a Jayhawk.
The growing number of students with
children under the age of 18 has sparked a
growing number of University organizations
to help. Specifcally, the Emily Taylor Womens
Resource Center has increased programming
and resources for these students. A few years
ago, the center rarely brought in speakers
to address the issue of attending school and
parenting, but Kathy Rose-Mockry, program
director, says the center is now trying to make
it a priority. Rose-Mockry says the students
she has spoken with, mostly women, say
using student services was one of the most
important factors in completing school.
They are a resource and can help build a
support network to help someone balance it
all, Rose-Mockry says.
Though a large amount of stress does
come when parents commit to going to school
while raising a family, Jackson and Ethridge
both say they have a refned appreciation
for the education they are receiving. As
other students work on their Sudokus or
crosswords, Ethridge says she knows the effect
a law degree will have on her life. Like Trish
and Robert Jackson, Ethridge says she did not
have this understanding until she was a parent.
It was not until they had the responsibilities of
a parent that they realized what value a college
education really is.
It is not easy to successfully raise your
children while going to school and working,
but all three parents say the key to successful
parenting while attending the University is
communication. Communication helps the
child to see the value of what the parent is
doing and it allows the child to say how they
are feeling too, Greenhoot says.
Though some days can be a little tougher
than others and working 30 hours a week
leaves little time for Ethridge to focus on her
sons activities, she says she and her son Ayden
cherish their time together.
He doesnt think its a good day unless
we cuddle, so I hold him for 10 minutes a day
while reading my book, Ethridge says.
The communication maintains the bond
The As and Bs of raising
children while in college
between the parent and child, Greenhoot says.
Sometimes the frustrating thing for the
child is being put off over and over again. Ill
play with you in a few more minutes ... not
yet ... I have to fnish reading this or writing
this paper and then I can help you with your
art project ... If the parent just takes a short
break to attend to the child, it can do wonders
to reduce that frustration and give them what
they need, Greenhoot says.
There are bad days, both families say, but in
the end each believes the lifetime value of an
education outweighs the stressful moments.
Sure it hurts sometimes. It takes time
away from what you love most in the world:
your kid. But it is also your kid that motivates
you to fnish and in the end provide a better
life, Ethridge says. JP
Two stories of students who balance a family, work and school
Photo by Ryan Waggoner
Trish Jackson helps her son, Eli, 2, wipe his nose.Trish is a 35-year-old mother of two and has been married for seven years to her husband, Robert. Jackson came back to KU in
2005 to earn her undergraduate degree and is now earning her doctorate in physical geography.
Photo by Ryan Waggoner
Trish relishes spending time with her son, Eli, daughter, Maiya, and husband, Robert, during what little free time she has to
spend with her kids. I have the responsibilities of being a mom and I can never take a day off from that.
10
February 26, 2009
April 2, 2009 9
10 April 2, 2009
health
Thats
DISGUSTING
You fall into bed after barely fnishing
homework at 3 in the morning. Brushing your
teeth may be the last thing on your mind, but
you should know what will happen in your
mouth when you skip brushing your teeth.
Different types of bacteria reside in the
mouth and they can be really aggressive and
active overnight, says Laura Claxton, registered
dental hygienist at Enhance Dental Care of
Lawrence. Harmful bacteria invade the teeth
and gums over time, causing cavities and gum
disease. She says brushing and fossing teeth
decrease the amount of bacteria in the mouth
and help keep the gum tissue and teeth healthy.
Studies show that chewing sugar-free gum can
help prevent tooth decay. She says, however, it
cannot replace brushing teeth.
Lack of proper oral hygiene also creates
foul odor in the mouth. Claxton says using a
tongue scraper helps keep your breath fresh.
Claxton recommends brushing for three
minutes in the morning and at night, and fossing
at least three times a week. She says using
alcohol-free mouthwash is a great addition to
the regular brushing routine.
Sachiko Miyakawa
Photo illustration by Sachiko Miyakawa
Too ... tired ... need ... sleep: If you skip brushing those
pearly whites at night, a foul odor will overtake your
mouth, leaving you with raunchy breath the next day.
Sleeping
without brushing
your teeth
It was early in the morning when I felt the
painful sensation surge through my mouth. I
had left my bleaching trays on my teeth while
I slept the night before and was paying for it
now.
Although whitening your teeth can leave
you with a seriously sensitive mouth, says Pam
Gotschall, certifed dental assistant in Prairie
Village, it is perfectly safe if you follow the
directions.
People always think if they leave the trays
in longer or the strips on for extra time it will
make their teeth even whiter, but there is a
point where the bleach stops working and they
are only dehydrating your teeth, Gotschall says.
The dehydration causes the severe pain.
Americans spent more than $2.3 billion
on teeth whitening in 2008, according to a
study conducted by the American Dental
Association. From whitening strips that you
can by at your local grocery store to thousand-
dollar whitening procedures, people cant seem
to get enough bleach for their pearly whites.
Gotschall says because there is such a demand
Teeth whitening
for these products, the ADA has been doing
a lot of research to make sure there are no
negative short- or long-term effects.
Verdict: Good for you, if you
follow the directions
Megan Weltner
Photo illustration by Megan Weltner
Blinding white: Leaving whitening strips on teeth for longer
than directed dehydrates the teeth, leaving them sensitive.
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11 April 2, 2009
health
nurture by nature
You shouldnt underestimate this small piece
of fruit. Blueberries are rich in minerals, vitamin
A and fber. The health effects of those nutrients
include keeping proper functioning of the body,
improving eyes and preventing constipation.
Blueberries are one of the best antioxidant
fruits, says Dorothy Klimis-Zacas, professor
of clinical nutrition at the University of Maine.
Wild blueberries, which are available at many
grocery stores, are even more nutritious than
regular blueberries, she says.
The consumption of wild blueberries can
possibly help relax arteries and reduce risks
associated with cardiovascular disease. Klimis-
Zacas research group found such health effects
in laboratory rats fed blueberries.
Fresh or frozen berries are more nutritious
than the ones in pies or muffns, she says. She
recommends eating blueberries with cereal or
drinking blueberry smoothies because a small
amount of sugar helps digest healthy nutrients
more effciently.
Sachiko Miyakawa
Blueberries
Photo illustration by Sachiko Miyakawa
Berry good: Eating blueberries can improve your eyes and
prevent constipation.
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April 2, 2009
manual
Reel lawnmowers
If you want to work out and reduce
greenhouse emissions while you mow your
lawn, then you should buy a reel lawnmower.
Reel lawnmowers, commonly known as
push lawnmowers, use only the power you
push into them. Reel lawnmowers cut like
a pair of scissors, which makes your lawn
greener, says Laurie Kohlhepp of Great States
American Lawnmower. Reel lawnmowers have
a cylindrical helix of blades that pull grass to a
cutting bar that snips the grass.
Gas lawnmowers rip grass off, which
leaves behind brown frayed ends of grass. Gas
lawnmowers give off harmful emissions, are
noisy, and are more dangerous to operate.
A 2006 report in the Annals of Emergency
Medicine found that almost 80,000 people
went to emergency rooms because of gas
lawnmower accidents.
A reel lawnmower could be a real cost-
saver in this economy and allow you to breathe
easier.
Reel lawnmowers cost about $120, and gas
lawnmowers cost about $200, not including
gasoline and oil costs.
Adam Schoof
Photo by Adam Schoof
Green cut: Reel lawnmowers actually cut grass and do
not rip it out of the ground like gas lawnmowers.
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April 2, 2009
manual
Start a fire
DIY:
[ d o i t y o u r s e l f ]
Fire was discovered by cavemen, but
modern man has largely forgotten how to
create it.
Briese Anderson, Lawrence junior, is a
fre expert: Hes an Eagle Scout and works
summers at a wilderness survival camp.
To make a fre without matches or fint and
steel, Anderson suggests a bow drill.
The basic fre structure has three parts:
tinder, kindling and fuel. Tinder is the fbrous
materials, kindling is smalls sticks and fuel is
large branches. Place each of the parts in the
order mentioned.
First, you need to fnd string for the bow. If
you have shoelaces, then use them; if not, then
fnd a fbrous plant such as milkweed and make
a rope out of it. Tie the string loosely to a bow-
shaped stick.
Next you fnd a thumb-thick branch thats
six inches long, sharpen both ends and twist it
into the bow. This will make the spindle, which
will create the friction that will start the fre.
Find a small piece of wood that will ft in
your hand and carve a notch into it. This will go
atop the spindle. Also, fnd a long, wide piece of
wood half an inch thick and carve a notch into
it as well. This piece is called the freboard,
which is where the fre will start.
Place the small piece of wood on the
top of the spindle, and put the spindle into
the notch on the freboard. Place your left
foot on the freboard, with your right knee
kneeling. Start the bowing action slowly and
increase as smoke starts to build. The spindle
will create dust that will ignite, so you should
have some fbrous materials, or kindling, with
the consistency of hair ready to light. When
lit, blow into the kindling to get a large fame.
Once you have a fame, you take it to your pre-
built fre structure.
The best type of fre structure is the
teepee because it sheds water and burns
fast, Anderson says. For this structure, you lean
wrist-thick pieces of wood together in a cone
shape. The structure will eventually collapse,
Anderson says, and you will have a nice bed of
coals to cook on.
Adam Schoof
Illustration by Adam Schoof
Man make fre: You can make a fre almost like the
cavemen did with string, wood, twigs and branches.
Fix your iPod
DIY:
[ d o i t y o u r s e l f ]
Play ... play ... dammit, iPod ... PLAY!
A broken iPod can ruin a trip to the gym, a
trek to class, or even just a lazy day by the pool.
The next time your iPod doesnt play, resist
the urge to chuck it across the room and take
these easy steps to fx the problem.
Push a couple of buttons
In 80 to 85 percent of cases, a simple reset
will fx a frozen iPod, says Daniel Wulfkuhle, sales
associate in the tech shop at the KU Bookstore.
Reseting an iPod does not erase your songs or
data, so dont worry about lost tunes. To reset
your iPod, Wulfkuhle says, just hold down the
correct two buttons for fve seconds.
For an iPod Nano or iPod Classic: Menu and
Select. For iPod Touch or iPhone: Top power
button and Home.
Wulfkuhle has worked in the tech shop
for two and a half years and says most people
dont know fxing their iPods can be so easy. A
lot of them kind of hit their foreheads with the
palm of their hands like, Thats so easy. Im so
stupid! Wulfkuhle says.
If a reset doesnt fx your iPod, plug it into
your computer and click the restore button in
iTunes. This will erase all of the data from your
iPod, but iTunes will load it back on when the
restore is fnished, Wulfkuhle says.
Trek to Kansas City or call
Apple
The Apple Store in Country Club Plaza in
Kansas City, Missouri, is your best bet if the
reset and restore dont work. Sign up for an
appointment with the Genius Bar at http://
concierge.apple.com/store/R097. If you dont
have time to drive to Kansas City, try calling
1-800-MYAPPLE for professional support.
Buy yourself some Apple
Care
Wulfkuhle suggests buying Apple Care,
Apples extended warranty, if youre concerned
your iPod might break again. iPods come with
a one-year warranty, he says, but for between
$40 and $60, depending on the type of iPod
you have, you can extend the warranty
another year. KU Bookstores sell Apple Care
for all iPods except for the iPhone. iPhone
extended warranties are available online at
www.apple.com or at the Apple store in Kansas
City, Missouri.
Becka Cremer
Graphic by Becka Cremer
On the fritz: Dont toss your seemingly defective iPod just
yet. Some quick fxes can having it working in no time.
in the life of... An urban wildlife management specialist
If theres a squirrel in your kitchen or bats
in your attic, just call Todd R. Olson. Olson
owns Critter Control, 3514 Clinton Parkway,
and spends his days catching animals that have
moved into peoples homes and repairing the
damage theyve caused.
The animals are just doing what they
do: surviving, reproducing, Olson says. But
when, for example, a raccoon reproduces in a
chimney, its Olsons job to evict the family. So
he traps the female raccoon, dons protective
gloves and reaches into the chimney for her
offspring.
The job is physically challenging and risky.
A baby raccoon has the strength to break a
mans fnger, Olson says, and sometimes getting
to the animal can be diffcult.
As an urban wildlife management specialist
(thats the offcial title of a critter controller),
Olson climbs on roofs, crawls through attics,
lifts heavy ladders, and sometimes repels
down buildings to get where the animals are.
Once there, he still has to deal with the actual
animals.
And, sometimes, they smell.
His worst job, Olson says, was removing
a dead snake from the attic of a Lawrence
fourplex. The tenants say a huge stain on the
ceiling was from a snake. When Olson climbed
into the attic, he found a boa constrictor, as big
around as a coffee can, staring at him.
Even though it smelled like it was dead, it
Photo by Becka Cremer
Animals on the loose: Todd Olson, owner of Critter Control,
deals with an array of animals, including boa constrictors and
raccoons.
looked alive, he says. I thought, I am
going to die today.
After removing more than 70
pounds of snake fesh from that attic,
Olson had to throw out the gear he
used because he could never get the
smell out.
The worst smelling thing in the
world is a dead snake, Olson says. Im
pretty sure of that now.
Becka Cremer
love and happiness, and shows true beauty is
not the absence of ugliness, but the acceptance
of it.
Kelci Shipley
14
April 2, 2009
reviews
MOVIE: Duplicity
Duplicity is just what its name implies:
deceitful and double-dealing. But when you
throw in Julia Roberts and Clive Owen, well,
then its just a whole lot of intellectually
stimulating fun.
From the man who brought you the
mysteriously cryptic Michael Clayton and the
action-packed Bourne trilogy comes this tale
of two pathologically paranoid ex-spies. Their
mission is true love and their objective is to live
happily ever after at the price of $40 million. But
dont be fooled. This is no simplistic romantic
comedy or drama. Rather, Id like to classify this
cunning tale as a romantic corporate thriller
whose premise is engulfed in lies, second-
guessing and arrogance. And yes, its all a bit
confusing.
Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson also give
impressive performances as rival CEOs.
But between Roberts smarts and Owens
smooth smile, an amazingly crafted story of
corporate espionage emerges and is mixed
with the ultimate question: What is the cost of
love?
BOOK: Manic by Terri Cheney
For Terri Cheney, normalcy isnt found in
the mishaps of everyday life. Its found in doses
of Prozac and bottles of tequila, which is her
own personal remedy concocted to combat
extreme depression. In her memoir, Manic,
Cheney painfully outlines the continuous
idiosyncrasies and subconscious desires of a
life with bipolar disorder.
Her entries occur episodically instead of
chronologically, mirroring the chaotic feelings
of her depressing condition. The rhythmic
fow of her prose sharply contrasts with
the edgy episodes she describes. Cheneys
memoir illuminates much-needed light on a
disorder kept strictly in the shadows.
Aside from the admiration I felt from
reading truly honest and compelling thoughts,
I was in awe at the authors ability to hide
her condition from the outside world. Living
a life as a highly esteemed practicing lawyer
is one thing, but doing it all and repressing
emotions so heavy they seem to nail her feet
to the ground is another. Cheney describes
her mania and depression as completely
debilitating, but at times entirely invigorating.
During manic episodes, she becomes
radiant, instantly firtatious and in pursuit
of any sort of affection. Her agonizing and
wrenching memoir investigates the validity of
Mia Iverson
contact
Bitch
MOAN
&
with Carly Halvorson and Elliot Kort
I got HPV from my ex-boyfriend. How
am I supposed to tell someone that Im
hooking up with that I have it? Should I
even bother if Im not in a relationship
with him?
Laura, sophomore
Carly: Yes, you should absolutely tell someone
that you have HPV, no matter if its a long-term
relationship or a one-night stand. Obviously
its not an easy subject to bring up, but this guy
deserves to know. Wouldnt you want to know
if the guy youre sleeping with has an STI? What
if he had unprotected sex with you while aware
that he has HPVor something worse?
I understand that you want to save yourself
from embarrassment, but being honest is
actually the least embarrassing thing you could
do now. From now on, you need to be honest
with any sexual partner. Tell the guy fat out that
you have HPV and you need to use a condom.
Some guys are going to be OK with it and
others wontthats their right. No matter the
reactions, at least you did the right thing.
Elliot: Laura, youve got to be kidding. Of
course you tell the guy! Sure, Im assuming you
didnt know your boyfriend at the time had HPV
when you contracted it. That absolutely sucks
for you. But staying quiet as you pass it forward
to some unsuspecting guy makes you just as bad
as the guy who gave it to you in the frst place.
Carlys right. You always need to consider the
Golden Rule in situations that deal with such
intimate matters. So before you hop in bed with
someone, I hope youd be at least courteous
enough as to be honest with him.
*Bitch and Moan is not to be considered as a
substitute for professional help.
So, theres this guy in my class. Weve
known one another for a while and its
become pretty clear that were both
interested in one another. Thats where
the problems start. Every single time we
try to get together, something goes wrong.
Either Im busy or hes busy or one of us
runs ber late.What should I do?
Cassandra, junior

Carly: Do you legitimately want to hang out
with this guy, or are you just making excuses for
not seeing him? Assuming that your interest in
him is real, do you think he feels the same about
you? Sometimes, its just hard to make things
work with busy, conficting schedules. Its easy
to use busy schedules as an excuse. Either way,
it looks as if its not going to work out.
Find someone with a more compatible
schedule, but dont totally give up on this busy boy
if you dont want to. Keep this in mind, thoughif
you cant even meet up for one night, then how
would a relationship make any progress?
Elliot: Cassandra, Im going to move forward
with the assumption that both you and this guy are
genuinely interested in one another. Carly poses
some good points, but considering and typing
potential actions for any number of potential
scenarios would leave me with carpal tunnel and
you without any real answers. Now, Im going to
propose two things. First and foremost, Im going
to suggest that you and this guy plan something
so far in advance that it couldnt possibly confict
with either of your schedules.
But be warned, this will force you both to be
patient. Now, if you think your collective fame
could burn out by then, Id suggest a second
possibility: let something go. In the din of such
hyper-scheduled lives, a lot of us college students
lose sight of what we actually care about. Try to
free up some time in your schedule for this guy.
Itd probably do you some good.
The authentic taste of
M E X I C O
is just down the street.
3333 Iowa 785.331.4243
Tues & Wed
$1.29 12 oz. Drafts
DOMESTIC & IMPORTED
15 April 2, 2009
speak
Seagulls wait for the boat to come, right
before sunset, on the clearest of Canadian
nights. The sound of the old boat engine
immediately awakes the fock sitting on a
lonely rock in the middle of Lawrence Lake,
and sounds of calling and their wings fapping
welcome my boat. My dads leftover bread
crumbles in my fngers as I stand up to toss
a moldy piece to the waiting fock of birds. In
the distance, fying Vs race toward the eating
frenzy. The sun is setting. I am alone in an
aluminum boat and I sit until the sun has gone
behind miles of pine-covered shorelines. The
sun disappears, the fock gives up, and I head
back toward my family, who is sitting around
a fickering fre on shore. My dad has already
fallen asleep in his green fold-up chair.
My family owns two fshing resorts in
Canada. By resort, I really mean a bunch of
old cabins that are only big enough to sleep
in, a fsh-cleaning shack I cant even walk into
because the blood on the wall scares me, and
a room where food is kept. Bears have broken
into all these rooms through the roof multiple
times, and it shows. Although this is not my
ideal vacation spot, I have learned to love the
bugs, bears, my own unwashed stench and
the peacefulness of the outdoors. My favorite
of the two resorts is our fy-in resort on
Lawrence Lake. My life fashes in front of me
every time we fy in on the foatplane. The
engine is so loud I cant hear anything, and all I
see are the tops of trees inches away from our
plane. I crawl my way out of the plane through
the pilots door. Its the only door. I hop onto
the foating dock to help unload the plane that
is sitting on water. Half of the plane is saved for
luggage, and the other half for beer. We stay for
about a week each trip.
I wake up with a poisonous spider crawling
on top of the old ratty plaid blanket covering
me. Showering is out of the question because
there is no shower, so the morning routine is
quite easy. I hear sizzling grease outside. My
dad is making fried eggs, potatoes and bacon
over the fre. The smell makes my stomach
growl. Back home Id be eating Special K cereal
with a big cup of coffee for breakfast; here I eat
what is made for me: a heart attack on a plate.
But I have to deal with it.
Breakfast is quick, and cleaning up is easy
thanks to the lake. I put on some old shorts
splattered with mud stains, and a cross country
running t-shirt that I would be too embarrassed
to wear any other place; The fast girls your
mom warned you about doesnt seem quite
appropriate anymore. Shoes are unnecessary.
An old aluminum boat that smells like rotting
fsh guts will be my tanning bed for the rest
of the day. Fishing gear, snacks, portable chairs,
pots and pans fll the miniature boat; yet
there is still just enough room for my mom,
dad, brother and me to cram in. The 1990
transportable motor never starts on the frst
try. Hitting it and pumping gas into it is routine.
I wait for my dad to start swearing at it.
Today is the day we are all going to catch the
big one, my dad reminds us as we get farther
and farther away from shore. Two hours later,
Ive caught a crawfsh. Crawfsh smell like dirty
feet and move around too fast to even try to
cook. No one has caught any fsh, which means
we dont have lunch yet. My brother starts to
get pissed. He eats his ranch-favored Pringles
and glares at his bobber in the water. My mom
is too into her book to care. In the meantime,
I think of what my friends would be doing, and
what their plans are for that night. The Hawk
or The Wheel? There are so many options. I
have no phone, I cant Facebook, and I have
nowhere to go but to shore or into the lake.
But this doesnt phase me.
The water is so cold it shocks my body
when I dive in. The boat rocks back and forth
for a minute, swishing the three inches of
water in the boat around. The lake water is
crystal clear. I can see my brothers fshing line
and hook 15 feet down. No fsh on that line; I
can verify. I become numb so I get pulled back
into the boat. It hurts worse when your body
starts to thaw.
Four hours later, my dad has fnally caught
the big one. The fsh is so heavy he swears
it is a rock. He says this every time we fsh,
and every time I give him the same astonished
look. We head to shore so the fsh can be
sliced open and cleaned. I feel bad for the fsh.
Often I try to let it go when my brother and
dad arent looking, but today Im too hungry.
Frying the fsh and potatoes in a bunch of
grease till crispy is satisfying at the time, but
the two always end up tasting like each other.
Its kind of like a two for one deal.
After lunch, we go back out, but the fshing
just gets worse. We start imagining fsh are on
the line. Quick yanks of the fshing pole signal
another big one, but there is never anything
there. By 4 in the afternoon, I am so sunburned,
I feel as if I, too, have been fried. The snacks are
gone, and my brother has had too many beers.
Heading back to shore feels like heading home
from a hard day of work, except the stress and
arguing was because of a fsh. I wish I had more
of that kind of stress.
Pink sky at night, sailors delight. Pink sky at
morning, sailors take warning. The sky is every
shade of pink tonight. I head back out to the
UP
Learning to enjoy
the simple pleasures
of the outdoors
By Stephanie Schneider
sschneider@kansan.com
fock of seagulls waiting for me at the same
rock. Its covered in so much seagull poop
it has now turned white. The sound of my
brother and dad laughing breaks the silence.
The seagulls are fnished, and I navigate back by
looking for the fickering light of the campfre.
There is no trashy reality TV playing in the
background, no annoying ringtone going off,
and no sound of cars honking. The simplistic
scene of where my family spends a few summer
nights is calming. There is a fre pit, a cabin, a
dock and miles of forest, but its all we seem
to need. JP

Photo illustration by Jerry Wang
Roughin it: During Stephanies time spent with her family in Canada, isolated from a world of reality TV, ringtones
and car horns, she discovered a love for the outdoors that made for a great escape from her everyday world.
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