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C O M M O D I T Y M AG A Z I N E

VOLUME I - ISSUE IV GARY NEAL'S LONG ROAD TO NBA ALL-STARDOMBREW SPOTLIGHT ON BALTIMORE ESCAPING GUYLAND: A Q&A WITH MICHAEL KIMMEL

THE EFFORTLESS GENT


NICK HA WKINS ON WHAT 'SUITS' THE MODERN MAN
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C O M M O D I T Y M AG A Z I N E
A MONTHL PUBLICATION TENDERED WITH POISE Y

T H E E D I T O R ' S S AY
March is a month that celebrates success on the amateur level. As March Madness winds down, we resettle into the more traditional ideas of what it means to be successful that is to say, having it made. Being a made man is, by no means, something cut-and-dry. There exist too many different sorts of success to limit the phenomenon to simply something based on financial affluence or professional success (though neither hurt). At Commodity it has been our ongoing task to bring you a fullyfleshed-out model to pique your interest and that endeavor continues in this particular issue. All of our features this month discuss men who have gone out of their way to afford their current lifestyles. Some of them did so by sheer wit and wherewithal ambition. Others worked diligently for their success. Still others never made it all the way. Such is the nature of becoming a made man. It is no easy task. However, the process of attaining such stature cannot be treated as nigh. Americans love a good self-made-man story a tale of a brash young talent who comes from a money-poor, loverich blue collar family, overcomes great adversity and eventually makes partner at a bustling law firm. This issue seeks to challenge that American fairy tale by providing compelling stories of variant success that exist as outliers to the greater trend. In reflection of the articles held within, we are forced to ask ourselves what does it really mean to make it? We contend that that question is not as readily answerable as we may have previously assumed. This issue is the body of our argument. We present to you, the readers, the following evidence to support this claim.

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APRIL 2011 - THE MADE MAN

JERARD FAGERBERG
Editor In Chief
(ext. 310)

ANDREW ZALESKI
Managing Editor Business Editor
(ext. 312)

JESSE DEFLORIO
Art Director Staff Photographer
(ext. 316)

STEPHEN KING
Advertising Directior
(ext. 318)

Head Columnist
(ext. 314)

JON MEOLI

SUBSCRIPTIONS: For subscription inquiries and rates, please call (443) 667-2118 or visit Commodity-Monthly. com/Subscription. All other inquiries can be directed to the Main Switchboard, 2118 Stockton Ave., Suite 104, Baltimore, Md., 21211
COMMODITY (ISSN 0033-9202) This prototype magazine was created and produced by journalism students in the Magazine Publishing Senior Seminar at Loyola University Maryland in Baltimore and is intended for educational use only. The copyright is jointly held by the college and the students who produced this magazine. Publisher: Dr. Kevin Atticks, Department of Communication, Loyola University Maryland.

COMMODITY MAGAZINE Department of Communication Loyola University Maryland 4501 N.orth Charles Street Baltimore, MD 21210 COVER PHOTO: Jesse DeFlorio. Baltimore, MD 2011. "IT IS EXQUISITE, AND IT LEA VES ONE UNSATISFIED. WHAT MORE CAN ONE W ANT?

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VOLUME I - ISSUE III JAMES V RIEMSDYK MEETS GORDY HOWE AN BREW SPOTLIGHT ON W ASHINGTON HOW WHISKEY BUILT AMERICA

TY M AG AZIN E

tor of society a sector which never had to examine its place in the dynamic to evaluate what this shift means to their preconstructed identity. Now that men have seen a woman can embody what was once called masculine spheres, what is now masculine needs to be redefined. I would argue that this is why these archetypes are now coming into question. Leslie Gordon Newark, Del.

finished any of it. Take my word for it, not theirs Jacks Diner is definitely worth missing. Dom Giuseppe Westchester, NY. FROM THE EDITOR Commodity would like to formally welcome Stephen King on board as our Advertising Director for this issue. In our first few weeks, we have found it quite difficult to maintain and grow our endeavor for stellar graphic design. Stephen has presented himself as a highly-capable and knowledgeable assistant while working for small-time pubs like reynolds!, Split Ends, W.I.K. and Ignite so were glad to have him as part of the team. As a reminder, at Commodity, we more than welcome your feedback and analysis of our work. We want our readers to return our passion with some of their own so, every month, we publish your comments and concerns right here. You can submit a letter to the editor by emailing editor@commodity-monthly.com or by sending a letter to Commodity Magazine, 2118 Stockton Ave., Suite 104, Baltimore, Md., 21211. All serious letters will be considered for publication and Commodity thanks our readers for their continued interest. Jerard Fagerberg Editor-in-Chief
CORRECTIONS In our Feb. 7 issue, we stated that Samuel Adams was founded by Jim Koch, Harry M. Rubin, and Lorenzo Lamadrid in 1984, but, in fact, it was the Boston Beer Company that was founded that year the Sam Adams brand emerged some years later. Furthermore, there is some debate as to whether Boston Beer Company is, indeed, the largest beer producer in the U.S. or if Yuengling holds this title (brought to our attention by online reader Seth Richards). Our resources stress that, despite this discrepancy, that their capacity is in fact larger. In the Jan. 3 issue, the cover photo was incorrectly attributed to Jesse DeFlorio. The photo is actually the work of freelancer Brennan Gladrey. Commodity regrets these errors.

VLAD HOLIDA Y
FROM ROMANIA TO ROLLING STONE

A WomAns PersPective In his essay Bootstraps (Portfolio, Mar. 7), Andrew Zaleski does a really good job defragmenting the fall of male archetypes in contemporary American society. I want to commend him for that, really. However, its a phenomenon that just doesnt have a logical answer when looked at solely from masculine social theory. As a professor of womens studies, I look at the phenomenon in a particular vein. I dont mean to be a ball buster (which is how a lot of feminist theory comes off to men, I know) but I think what needs to be looked at is the growth of the female identity if you really want to explain how male identity is changing. Lets run on the assumption that there are two gender roles in society: the male and the female. The male is the obvious point of desire, since it possesses all the power and influence. So, when feminist politics first began to emerge in the 1950s, this is the role they were seeking to obtain. It wasnt a complete abolition of the female role, but it was an encroachment on the line between the two. Overall, this paradigm shift has been ongoing with some degree of success. Theres been a large growth in empowerment over the past few decades which has pushed the male sec-

20/20 HINDSIGHT With all this garbage about the declining quality of character in modern athletes floating around on ESPN and Sports Illustrated, it was good to finally see there be a reality check. Jon Meoli hit the nail right on the head when he wrote There have always been questionable characters in the realm of professional sports, but we dont tend to look back on those cached with history in a negative light. (What Happened to our Idols?, Sports, Mar. 7). Yes, there are quite a few NFLers headed to prison of late and Tiger Woods may have peaked the scumbag charts last year, but these personalities are ages old in sports. Babe Ruth, Wayne Gretzky, Larry Bird they all did their fair share of dirt back in the day. Were just so involved with celebrity lives that the business of an athletes life becomes our own. It was really refreshing to see someone spell out this sentiment so eloquently. From here, I guess the question becomes: do these indiscretions disappear when Hall of Fame balloting comes around or has our view of these neer-do-wells change for good? Brian Kim Lansdale, Pa. BELL ACHES Y Last month, you guys featured a diner called Jacks in outside Albany (Late Night with a Bite, Palette, Mar. 7), and, I got to say, that place was truly awful. The service was sloppy, the dining room reeked of cigarettes and they served the open-face roast beef sandwich cold. It was near impossible to get a waitress and, in the end, I barely

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APRIL 2011 - THE MADE MAN

MANUAL FOCUS
SPOTLIGHT ON PHOTOGRAPHER ADAM ELMAKIAS

IN PURSUIT OF THE MODERN GENTLEMAN


NICK HA WKINS

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ENTER GUYLAND
WITH MICHAEL KIMMEL

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BREW SPOTLIGHT
BALTIMORE

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E-READER FLOWCHART LUMINA CLOTHING

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SANDY DRA WERS POP ART: ACTION ITEM

45
TRA VELING SOLO

46

SOUTHERN ROAD TRIP

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GARY NEAL

61 Shine Responsibly
AMERICAN HOCKEY DREAMS
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TAKE THE JUMP


RETIRE YOUR LIBRARY, GO DIGITAL AND DO IT IN A W Y THAT MAKES SENSE A
HOW BIG IS YOUR PERSONAL LIBRARY?

BIG

NOT BIG
NEED 3G OR 4G??
ALREADY HA IT VE ON MY PHONE
I PREFER SOMETHING TINY WITH WI-FI

REALL Y? YES. NO.

Dinosaurs be damned, the age of ereaders is upon us. Despite the fact that we all love the smell of a dusty old tome from time to time, the truth couldnt be clearer, the hardcover edition of life as we know it will soon be going out of print. Readers of Commoditys weekly e-edition are no stranger to this phenomenon. But the question is, with the plentiful variety of ereaders and capable tablets on the market, which is the right one for me? Technology is need-based so what are your needs? In an effort to solve this conundrum, Commodity has put together this simple flowchart to help guide you on your journey into the world of non-print media. BARNES & NOBLE NOOKCOLOR The worlds biggest bookstore knows exactly whats up. The flashy-but-not-tooflashy NOOKcolor deftly toes the line between serviceable tablet and fully-functional e-readers with class. The NOOKcolors 7 VividView touchscreen is a nice alternative to traditional e-readers and, with the advent of its updateable Android OS, NOOKcolor is an e-reader with plenty of gadgets all for the right price. AMAZON KINDLE 3G Since it broke into the market in 2007, Kindle has led the way in the e-reader field and thats exactly what the Kindle 3G is an e-reader. Far simpler and more manageable than Amazons DX incarnation, the Kindle 3G is wafer-thin and lighter than anything else in its class. Its patented e-ink screen is easy on the eyes and perfect for those not looking for a big departure from page turning. Though Kindle 3G flexes a little compu-muscle with enhanced 3G networking and built in Facebook and Twitter apps, it will always be favored for being a simple and basic e-reader. Cant argue with a 10-day battery life either.

BORDERS KOBO At first glance, Kobo seems enticing with its quilted back (reminiscent of old leather hardcovers) and 2-week battery life but, at some point, the gimmicks dont go far enough. Borders alternative to the more popular Kindle and NOOK doesnt meet the competition in specs. With a mere 1 GB memory, a cumbersome 4-way d-pad interface and no pre-loaded bookstore, Kobo seems less like fit for those with shallow pockets and more like knockoff thatll still leave you with buyers regret. SAMSUNG GALAXY TAB 4G LTE Verizons highly-touted tablet is one of the first to hit the market with 4G speed. Also available on other networks (AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile), Samsungs Galaxy Tab beats the competition mainly with its size. Lighter than the other options, Galaxy Tab is a comfortable machine to use. Combine this with the fastest processor in competition and you have a formula for a successful tablet. However, the specs do leave something to be desired (16 GB memory, 512 MB RAM) and we cant help but think Samsung has an improved model around the corner. APPLE iP AD 2 WIFI Lets not kid ourselves: the iPad is sexy. If youre into trends or simply have had your fill of Microsoft, we would recommend this slim little vixen. Though there is no pre-loaded bookstore, users wont have a problem finding one in this app-happy market and the iPad has an incomparable number of accessories to match this internal market. Though the machines RAM (256 MB) does hold it back a bit, the highlyresponsive 9.7 screen and hearty hard drive (32 GB) keep it afloat without

much compromise. Apples stock is high right now; dont think publishers and (other) magazines arent already iPadfriendly versions of their stuff. MOTOROLA XOOM Strictly for the high-rollers and techno-nerds. If youre the guy that wants the best and the fastest, this is your option. Xooms buzz has been on fire since the specs were announced in February: 1,024 MB RAM, 32 GB internal hard drive with SD expandability, 1 GHz processor and a brand-spanking new Android 30 OS. Not only is this the fastest and most capable bad boy money can buy, is comes with two digital camera (front and back), and HDMI plug-in and plenty of USB capability. Bragging rights come with a few caveats though. Not only is Xoom the fastest, its by far the heaviest. Cost will be also an issue. Ringing in somewhere near $700 might be an issue. COMMODITY RECOMMENDS Theres no two ways about it: Barnes & Nobles NOOKcolor is the option for us. For $250 youre getting most of the functionality of a let (minus some computing power and pizazz) with all the basic function of an e-reader. NOOKcolors bookstore is easily accessible and the screen is a nice compromise between a backlit touchscreen and the traditional e-ink. In a world where most tablets are simply half-functional supplements to laptops, the NOOKcolor stands on its own as, instead, a highly functional ereader. Plus, have you seen the way Commodity looks in this thing? NOOKcolor was made for magazines.
FOR A COMPREHENSIVE STATISTICAL ANAL YSIS OF THE E-READERS, PLEASE READ
WWW.COMMODITY-MONTHL Y.COM

CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT IT

ARE YOU A PURIST?


THROUGH HELL AND HIGH W ATER

HOW BIG?

NO.

KOBO

REASONABLE DON'T CARE

STYLE
WHAT ABOUT SCREEN SIZE?

OR

FUNCTION

READ FREQUENTL Y?

BOOK{
(YES, THAT THING WITH WORDS)

INDIFFERENT

OH SHIT...

iP AD 2

ZOOM

YES.

NO.

KINDLE
W ANT MORE THAN JUST A READER?

AFRAID OF BEING JUDGED?

TOUCHSCREEN? HURTS MY EYES

YES

NO

YY A

NA Y

I NEED IT!

WHAT W YOUR MAJOR IN AS COLLEGE?

NOOK
GALAXY

ABUSING YOUR DILIGENT STUDIES TRUST FUND

TAKE A W ALK NEXT DOOR AND READ THE ARTICLE

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QUICK HITS
THE HOTTEST GEAR WE FOUND THIS MONTH
Fld the Exchange Watch $90, karmaloop.com There may not be enough good things in the world to say about this watch. Its simple, streamlined design is professional to the point of absurdity but it still has some edge. The big watch face and off-center dial scream style and the silicone strap compensates for the unbalance with surprising comfort. Also available in gun metal, white and black/gold. Horny Toad Seersucka Shorts $62, hornytoad.com If youre gonna drop 60-plus on some shorts, theyd better be worth it. Horny Toad does just that with these cleverly-crafted Seersucker weaves. The shorts are light and breathable and feature an off-the-skin lift that youll appreciate in the muggy dog days of summer. A classic done right. Transworld 9213 18-inch Attach Case $58, luggagemore.com This is how you do business, folks. Once you flip open this stunning laptop-sized attach and reveal the white suede interior, thats when the deals get done. Beautiful and functional, this is a dream briefcase for a very lucid price. The exterior is all imported leather and features two combination-fitted anti-theft locks. Available in burgundy as well, this attach also expands into a serviceable carry-on.

Mishka Heatmiser Waxed Canvas Wallet $29, ecapcity.com Canvas is a little more durable than leather. Leather warps. It cracks and falls apart. Mishkas waxed canvas is a much more sensible alternative that sacrifices none of the style. This simple bi-fold has a swing-out ID badge and a sleek interior with plenty of storage. Worth more than its investment. Also available in navy.

Miniot iPad 2 Cover $70. miniot.com All the same functionality as the Smart Cover (magnetic wake-up recognition, 3-way stand capability, screen protection) with infinitely more style. This all-wood cover is made in Holland, comes with a 1-year limited warrantee and is offered in cherry, oak, padouk and walnut. If thats not enough reason to buy, they also offer free logo and monogram engraving. Try to say no now.

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'TIEING' IT TOGETHER

MODERN NECKWEAR FROM AN UNLIKEL SOURCE Y

Barton Strawn didnt attend college to be a clothing designer. Now the 23-year-old N.C. State graduate, along with fellow N.C. State grads Jordan Pung and Justin Carey, owns and operates Lumina Clothing Company, makers of skinny ties and bow ties that display a savvy, Southern sensibility. Better have your Mad Men suits dry-cleaned, gentlemen.

for ties they could pair with the suits they already owned. Were all fairly fashion savvy, says Strawn. But when we got to the store, there really wasnt much of a selection. Pung and Carey seized on Strawns creative instincts and his background in design and, half-joking, urged him to make ties for the three of them; Strawn responded by making several skinny ties and a cou-

and dance pavilion that opened in 1905 at Wrightsville Beach, N.C. The ties names all befit the overarching theme: the Dapper Dodger, the Chapel Thrill, the Sunshine State and Limeade. Bow ties come in a super skinny two-inch width and start at $45. Ties are between 2 and 2 7/8 inches wide and start at $65. Its definitely a very purposeful decision to have a Southern appeal come through, says Strawn. But its one that can be appreciated by southerners and people who are from other parts of the country. Were hoping that as we continue forward that itll start to become a little more neutral. While the Lumina gents now source all their fabric from wholesaling companies and use large-scale manufacturers to produce their ties, the process of making ties, in the beginning, was a little more hands-on. Strawn thought up the patterns for the neckties and bow ties, and all three purchased material at local fabric stores. Then Strawn, along with his mother, Karen, would work out of her house sewing each tie by hand (with the help of a sewing machine, of course). When your clientele base isnt all that large, you can afford to make one bow tie at a time and you can afford to make one necktie at a time, says Strawn. STARTING FROM SCRATCH The scale of their initial, capital funding minimized what these North Carolinian sartorialists were able to pull off at the outset. All three poured their own savings into the project, not wanting to take out loans or seek the monetary assistance of a thirdparty investor. One of our goals was to try to build it up from a very small capital base into something that was larger, says Strawn. And that in itself has been tough. We sort of hoped that that entrepreneurial spirit would be a bit viral . . . on campus and urge other students to do the same. You know, you dont have to be 45 to start a company. You can be 20, and part of that is working on that shoestring budget. Another part of being young and starting a company, as Strawn and the other two discovered, is receiving help from friends and mentors. A number of Strawns friends

WO R D S BY A N D R E W Z A L E S K I

When Barton Strawn was a junior at North Carolina State University, he was studying architecture and design and preparing for job interviews. The same was true for his two engineering-major friends, Justin Carey and Jordan Pung. We were getting to that point in our college career where we were having to go to more formal functions, says Strawn. Job interviews . . .[a] variety of things that required us to dress a little more formally than we had in the past. It was 2008, and Mad Men was in vogue. Having a hit AMC television series that made it okay for non-hipsters to wear skinny ties backing them, the three trekked through downtown Raleigh, N.C., looking

ple bow ties. The more we wore them around, the more we got complimented on the ties we were wearing from people in stores where we were shopping. Thats when it dawned on us that we could probably take this from just a hobby, essentially, into something that was an actual business. Formally incorporated in the beginning of 2009, the actual business became Lumina Clothing Company, makers of skinny ties and bow ties that are both derivative of a Southern flair, with bright yellow, lime green and light blue checkered and gingham patterns and a more Ivy League classic, preppy look. The company borrows its namesake from the old entertainment

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from college have volunteered their time to developing Luminas online presence Twitter and Facebookwhile menswear retailers in the Raleigh area have been enthusiastic in lending their know-how. The best thing about being a young entrepreneur, says Strawn, is that people who are older than you in the industry, especially those a lot older who are looking to get outtheyre always excited to help you and want to see you succeed

ways been done. And so that allowed us to look at the mens fashion world in a slightly different light. We have a chance to do things differently than how its always been done. TYING THE BOW For Strawn and company, that means bringing together seemingly disparate elementsSouthern patterns and colors with classic, preppy stylinginto a uni-

here in the South, but are still rooted in some of that southern tradition. In addition, the guys recognize the value in pairing traditional itemslike the bow tie, which is Luminas best-sellerwith more modern looks. And that, ultimately, is what drives their styling spirit. The bow tie is an interesting piece of mens accessory because theres a certain following of older gentlemen who wear

cause theyre living a little bit vicariously through you. But while being young mens wear entrepreneurs can be difficultminimal funding in a capital-intensive industry; being one person yet performing multiple duties (in Strawns case, not only does he plan out the ties for each season, but he designs and codes Luminas website, without which the guys wouldnt have a national selling platform); and, as Strawn puts it, never really not thinking about the company . . . even when Im out with friendsworking as newcomers in a fairly traditional industry affords the Raleigh gents opportunities not readily available to their older counterparts. There certainly have been moments when we all kind of take a step back, where we have that moment and that shock factor where we think we might be in over our head, says Strawn. But one of the benefits of being young is we didnt know how its [mens clothing] al-

form package they can call their own. When we first started doing the neckwear, we noticed a trend with menswear in general that was shying a little more toward sort of the brighter, what are traditionally considered southern patterns and colors, says Strawn. It was also shying more toward a sort of classic, preppy look . . . so we wanted to pick up on that and add our own little touch to it. That Lumina touch is the width of the neckwear. All of their ties and bow ties are a far cry from the Gordon Gecko-like 80s ties that were fatter than the StayPuft Marshmallow Man. But, says Strawn, people they speak with in North Carolina identify Luminas patterns as too edgy, or modern, whereas people in cities like New York and even Nashville flock to Luminas ties patterns and widths. Its an odd merger, says Strawn. We really picked up on people from D.C. and Nashville and larger cities that tend to be a little more fashion forward than those

bow ties, love bow ties and continue to wear them, says Strawn. Were seeing kind of a resurgence of the bow tie. Theres a sect of the younger population picking up that style. Part of it is just pairing bow ties with looks that are a little more edgy, and looks that are a little more casual, to show men who dont typically wear bows that they can be worn in a variety of ways. They dont have to look old. They dont have to look traditional. They can be done in a way thats fun and modern.

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MILLENIAL PHOTOGRAPHER ADAM ELMAKIAS KEEPS IT ALL IN SCOPE WITHOUT WORRYING TOO MUCH ABOUT THE WIDE ANGLE

PHOTO BY COLLIN HUGHES

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WO R D S BY J E R A R D FAG E R B E RG COMMODITY P H O T O S BY A DA M E L M A K I A S

The challenge of being a photographer is capturing one meaningful, perfect moment in what is an infinitely ongoing sequence of moments. To create something lasting from the ephemeral. When youre trying to photograph tattooed, torn-jeaned musicians diving into the arms of a packed crowd, capturing one perfect, meaningful moment seems impossible. But there is a select class of photographers who have taken up this unique challenge with gusto, attracted to the slipshod glamor of the rock n roll lifestyle. Adam Elmakias first found his penchant for photography while working on his high school yearbook. Borrowing

Tour. Though the exhilaration of touring and being a part of live shows still lingers, Elmakias has found more of an artistic niche in formal shoots press photos and portraiture working with NoFx, AMP Magazine and DJ Tisto. The inherent frustration with shooting live bands is that choice moments are easy to miss. Working with an organized shoot is easier, though there is a bit of a compromise. I can only be so creative with this budget and a time limit he said, but admitted that his tastes are changing. When I started out I loved shooting live actsand then I started shooting the press images and I really liked it because

ally thought about it much. I just want people to enjoy itI try my best to make live shots into something not everyone can get to make the live shot stand out and actually pull the person out of the stage, separate them a little bit. Almost like a piece of art rather than just a capture. His relaxed mentality also influences his marketing technique. A true child of the 21st century (remember, he did cut his teeth online instead of the traditional route), Elmakias has evoked a grassroots publicity campaign to spread his work and reel in the job offers. Relying heavily on social media, he networks vis--vis to keep his name in the conversation, often

ITS ALL WORD OF MOUTH, ALL NETWORKING


A DA TO REMEMBER Y SAINT AUGUSTINE ALLIGATOR FARM ORLANDO, FL

his schools camera, he snapped a selfportrait, which was quickly noticed by a counselor at the school. Recognizing Elmakiass natural talent, the counselor procured a free camera for the promising artist and the seed was effectively planted. Elmakias started shooting what he knew music. I started taking my camera to live shows and shooting bands, he said, and then just started networking from there and kept networking. Describing himself as a pretty troubled kid all throughout high school in a 2011 Alter the Press! interview, Elmakias channeled all his energy into photography, teaching himself the ins and outs of the craft, and has built a lucrative business out of his efforts. Ive never had any formal training, but this is the age where everything is online. I learned a ton online I read a lot, watched a lot of videos. From there, he just took the learning curve as it came. Most of it is intuition. And just luck. Just trying to do it over and over. he said, Now I just like it because people who let me shoot them live let me run around the whole stage and do whatever I want. Now 21, Elmakias has toured nationally and internationally with acts like All Time Low, A Day to Remember, Sum 41, as well as others on the Vans Warped

I got to work with the band and then I got more emotional and I started to actually use photography, not just using it because it was fun. Luckily for Elmakias, hes still at the stage in his career where he can experiment. In his 5-year career, he has seen and felt his style shift. Some of his work is striking and powerful an exasperated vocalist, shot in black and white, holding his arms out to the crowd conjures up the after burn of amplifiers all too perfectly. Some of it is touching a mop-headed musician stretching his legs, his daughter mimicking his pre-concert ritual. Some of it is just downright quirky a band garbed in zookeeper outfits looking bold in an alligator holding (Left). Whatever the milieu, Elmakiass photography displays a unique sense of isolation not often found in cameramen of his stripe. Every instant captured is important. This becomes clear after only a brief examination of his work. It gives the impression that, despite all the files he deletes, Elmakias does not waste a shot. This effect is largely unintentional. As mentioned before, Elmakias shoots on intuition he simply captures what he thinks is poignant. When asked about his philosophy on photography, he struggled to summarize the wide scope of his views, saying that he [hasnt] re-

making friends with bands, promoters and other photographers to get in their good graces. Its all word of mouth, all networking. At least for the area Im in, its never portfolio based he said. Its Ive worked with this guy and hes a good dude, hes up to it, take him out. Its one of those things where you cant have one or the other; you need to have them both. It becomes evident in business models like this that Elmakias is beginning to wean his craft into a business. He takes it slow. Thought staying focused and never getting too far ahead of himself. He doesnt bury his head in plans too much but prefers to take things as they come. When asked about his ambitions for the future, he was overwhelmingly cool. I havent really looked into it too much but I would like to do more and more so a gallery is one of those things Id like to do. Theyre all things I need to get used to and comes to terms with Just anything that means more, I guess. A refreshing outlook in a world that makes no exception in stressing itself out. Perhaps this is a mentality fostered backstage at rock shows. Perhaps it is also the mark of a young man who realizes the opportunities before him are so numerous that theres no point in piC geonholing the future.

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MIKE POSNER

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Elmakias wears his art on his sleeve, shows his entrepreneurial flair
In early 2010, Elmakias began producing flexible rubber bracelets (exactly the same as a Livestrong bracelet except theyre more like a matte finish, rather than a glossy finish) styled after his favorite lenses. The original idea was to produce some sort of unique business card for himself, something that would make him stick out of the pack of other practicing photographers. The end result was Lens Bracelets fashionable wrist wear that is, ironically, a mark of unification for his profession. Styled after his favorite lenss focus ring, the bracelets are a unique fashion item for snap-happy artists looking to distinguish themselves. With around 17 different styles running from a classic 35mm Canon lens to white-and-red 70-200 telephoto designed to benefit the Japanese Red Cross, the bracelets are a 7-inch circular mark of inclusion. They are the ultimate sign of an artist trying to become one with his instrument. Photographers only have one way of showing that theyre photographers: heres my photography or Im holding a camera and this is something they can always have with them that says Hey, Im a photographer and this is my favorite lens. Elmakias said. Because of this in-crowd appeal, photo blog Photojojo which specializes in shutterbug miscellanea picked up a few designs and began to sell them through their online store. That pretty made my company much bigger than what I thought it would be. They sold thousands of them. They helped me a lot. This recent success aside, Elmakias admits that he is merely dabbling in the fashion game and remains foremost interested in the art which inspired him to design Lens Bracelets. I dont think Im going to try to become a designer. he said, I enjoy photography. Ill stick with that for now.

BANDED TOGETHER -

To purchase Lens Bracelets, go to store.adamelmakias. com or Photojojo.com. To browse Elmakiass online portfolio or browse his other products, visit adamelmakias.com.

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NICK HA WKINS
I N P U RS U I T O F T H E M O D E R N G E N T L E M A N Its time for you to grow the hell up. But not in the way your mommy asked you to do when you were still trading spitballs at the dinner table. Nick Hawkins is on a different sort of quest, one in which the end result is a world of better dressed, better behaved, and more focused men. Extra emphasis on better dressed (heres looking at you, ESPN analysts).

WO R D S BY A N D R E W Z A L E S K I P H O T O S BY J E S S E D E F L O R I O

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This is not the first time Ive met for drinks with Nick Hawkins, the founder and director of Young Gentleman Society, a dual image and business consulting firm based out of Baltimore. Last time was at The Brewers Art, a restaurant and brewpub that mixes dim candle lighting, red brick walls and wooden flooring to make it comfortable for the young and professional as well as the hipster and trendy. Woefully underdressed in a red gingham Oxford and blue jeans, I looked across the white tablecloth and place setting to Hawkins, wearing a navy blue suit and seated with one leg crossed over the other, and immediately felt like the 12-yearold boy who still needs mom to buy his clothes. Our meeting tonight, my second interview with him, is at a near-empty sports bar up the street from my apartment, and it begins the same way. While were both wearing v-neck sweaters, the subtle elements to Hawkins lookbutton-down shirt, brown Sperry shoes, form-fitting jeans with the bottoms cuffed to reveal ankle, but no socksportray a 24-year-old with confidence, focus and a sense of distinction, sartorially speaking. Its in this moment, when he sidles up across the table from me, that I know I should have ordered my beer in a glass, and perhaps coughed up the change for something pricier, more aristocratic, so to speak, than National Bohemian in a 2 dollar can. He orders ice water with lemon to help soothe a cough from a lingering cold. I feel 12 again. There are a lot of people that talk about a lot business and what they want to do, says Hawkins, after some brief small talk. Im a firm believer in putting those actions behind that to make it happen. What I want the business to become is a full-service agency, which provides the image consulting, PR services, business consulting, representation and branding. Thats where Im seeing this 10 years from now. He speaks matter-of-factly, leans forward, enunciates his ts. I try to look discreet drinking my Natty Boh. For Hawkins, our 9 p.m. interview comprises just one part of a demanding schedule, doing the work that values enunciated ts. Since graduating college in 2008 with degrees in political science

the quintessential gentleman. Because its not only about how you look and how you dress, says Hawkins. Its also about how you act. The acting part is what gets to Hawkinsagain, another piece he inherited from his fatherwho remembers guys coming to class in pajamas while he was a student at Loyola University Maryland. Yeah, but is that anything new? A 19-year-old kid wearing pajamas? I dont disagree with him, but Im incredulous of people who make the argument, lest it fall into something more curmudgeonly, the thing my grandfather would say while suited up and waving a cane above his head, shouting, These damn kids! Most of the time a lot of people think its harmless. And I would agree, says Hawkins, initially. But on another level, its actually affecting the way you learn, which a lot of people dont think about. You tend to be very lax, very passive; you tend to slouch more, you tend to not really care. A lot of guys fall into that slump and slouch kind of thing. But theres a direct link between that and your performance, and whether people take you seriously or not. I take a sidelong glance at my half-empty beer can before nudging it along the tabletop toward the wall so its tucked behind the dinner menu. Hawkins dictum about dressing, while sanctimonious on the surface, comes from a place of genuine concern. Theres a legitimate worry there about how young men carry themselves, and what that means for success in their personal and professional lives. It shows in how he models his own behavior: when he arrived, he looked me in the eye while shaking my hand, took the seat directly across from me, stashed away his cell phone, leaned in and asked me how I was. Im good, man. Man? You get kind of addicted, says Alex Sanchez, the 27-year-old owner of Renaissance Design, an architectural and interior design firm in Washington, D.C. Sanchez has known Hawkins personally for four years, but he solicited Hawkins professional opinion a year ago, when he was a contestant on HGTVs Design Star and

wanted to upgrade his look for his appearances on the show. Every single time Ive been dressed to go to an event I get compliments about what I have on or about my style. A lot of that is cause of Nick, says Sanchez. You have an understanding that his opinion or his take on [style] is better than mine. And for me as a businessperson, my rates are dependent on my presentation. I cant charge what I charge and not look the part. To begin, Hawkins identified Sanchezs personal style (artsy, I act like I dont give a crap but I do, according to Sanchez). Once that was settled, the trick was to adapt personal style to professional settings, and then to fill out the whole packageHawkins worked with Sanchez on his interviewing skills and public speaking ability and prepped him for television and radio appearances. He loves what he does, says Sanchez. Hes the person wholl sit down all day going through different magazines and reading up about trends and gets the psychology of different looks. Admittedly, sitting all day isnt an option for Hawkins during the week, nor is tagging along with a client at any given moment. Which is why, for Hawkins, education underlies both the image and business sides to Young Gentleman Society. I thought it would be unique to form the company, the name, the business around the idea that its almost like a fraternal order, says Hawkins, his voice a little less hoarse as he finishes his first water, then stops to chat with the waitress before ordering his second. Think of the modern day gentleman: guys who not only know how to dress well, talk well, present themselves to society, but also teach others to do that. THE CHALLENGES TO IMAGE But while presentation seems so effortless to Hawkins, it wasnt without considerable work. The capstone, so to speak, was the beautillion program Hawkins completed his senior year of high school. Put on by Alpha Phi Alpha, which was established in 1906 as the first fraternity for African Americans, a beautillion is a formal ball preceded by a years worth of monthly, 3-hour sessions where young adult men learn etiquette, practice rhetoric and gain a deeper appreciation for black heritage. It grooms them, cultivates them, and

and business, he has worked as a paralegal at a law firm just outside Baltimore City. (Its whats paying my bills.) But his real focus, and the thing that digests virtually all of his free time, is his image consulting start-up. Right now, he works nights and weekends from a personal computer in his bedroom-turned-office thats covered with strewn about fashion magazines and garment bags. Eventually, Hawkins sees Young Gentleman Society being the go-to forum in Baltimore for area men to learn how to dress, brush up on their etiquette skills and acquire knowledge and advice

on how to start their own ventures. Its how you present yourself to society thats important, claims Hawkins. He thinks young men need some help with the presentation. And he knows hes the one who can help. WHO TAKES YOU SERIOUSL Y? Of course, Hawkins recognizes those who have helped him, namely father Arthur Hawkins, who taught him to tie a tie, to keep his elbows off the table, to shake a hand firmly, to match shirts with pants. Its just etiquette, which helped create

presents them at this formal ball to society, says Hawkins, who was 17 at the time of his beautillion. Though the beautillion was an easy process, relatively speaking. Hawkins life up through high school was marked by a number of moves back and forth across a cultural divide that didnt become clear to him until he entered middle school. Born in Owings Mills, Md., just north of Baltimore, Hawkins and his family lived in Delaware for about six years before returning again to Maryland and settling in Baltimore County. After eight years, they moved again, this time to Westminster, northwest of Owings Mills. Finally, for his junior and senior years in high school, Hawkins came to Baltimore Citys Polytechnic Institute. The running theme characterizing the movement was a shift, either from majority-black schools to majority-white schools, or vice versa. I did have a lot of problems, growing up, with image, says Hawkins. And while the admission appears innocuouswhat kid didnt have problems with image growing up?the specific and poignant nature of Hawkins experience seems strange for the v-neck-wearing image consultant leaning into the table across from me. When youre in an environment with all white students and youre the black kid, a lot of times you get pressuredits a subconscious pressureto act or be a certain way and kind of deny your own self. That subconscious pressure largely followed a trajectory previously established in 1903 by black sociologist W.E.B. DuBois in The Souls of Black Folk, where he writes about black double-consciousness: this sense that a black man can see himself as both black man and how the white man views the black man. While questions of fashion are definitely more trite than the matters DuBois faced, Hawkins sense of selfthe first time he self-identified as black in relation to his white peers at a majority white schoolis no less trivial for a person who grew up with mostly black friends, moved to a majority-white community in Westminster, and realized he was the only black person in his eighth grade class. It was one of those things where it wasnt apparent the difference, cause I never had to deal with it until it was introduced to me by my peers, says Hawkins. And thats something that happens to a lot

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of black kids in white environments. Ive never been called the N-word, but subtle thingsIve never had a black friend made me more aware of my difference to everyone else and made me want to assimilate more into that environment. For a period of time, he remembers making a stark transition from wearing predominantly Fubu to wearing clothing from Aeropostale and American Eagle, labels that have racial stereotypes practically woven in with the fabric. When Hawkins returned to a majority-black environment at Polytechnic, the transition, he says, was no problemindeed, even after meeting him just a few times, you notice how he commands a room, how he garners an almost automatic respect from onlookers. But that kind of behavior, cultivated over a long period of time by his father and family, marked Hawkins in the black community, too. I knew how to shake a hand appropriately, I knew how to dress somebody, I was taught how to work with people. I knew how to speak eloquently, with diction and with effectiveness and with drive. I didnt slur my words. And I was told Im white, that Im whitewashed. The problem is, people link those two togetherwe link respectable with white, and goofing around and not knowing how to act and talk and dress with black. The deep-seated emotional angst mixes with Hawkins aloofness, a nonchalance that prevents him from succumbing to external pressure. His voice stays evenly pitched, just as it was at the beginning of the interview. Do you feel like youre held up as a race man? Like, you speak for all black men? In a sense. I think Ive lived most of my life debunking that. You draw more attention to me as if its abnormal. It does frustrate me, because not only does the majority population do it, but the minority population does it well and puts black people who do well on a pedestal. Did your beautillion do that in any way? Well, it put me around black men who were doing great things in society and also helping me to understand why its important for me to know my own history. But at least know it, support it, love it, cherish it.

It taught me not to be afraid of anything, to stand up for what you think is right, and to excel, succeed, ask for what you want, and to just thrive in the environment that youre placed in. For Hawkins, the understanding and experience he gained from such mentors prompted him to work with other young black men in Baltimore City: he assists with the Alpha Phi Alpha beautillion and donates his time, under the YGS banner, to Black Professional Men, an organization bringing together successful, professional black men in Baltimore to speak to younger black men about reputation management and etiquette. Although, as race issues relate to YGS directly, Hawkins wants none of it. The way, ultimately, youre going to get anywhere in life is by being yourself, by knowing theres no such thing as a stereotype, or set rule, or box you have to fall into, says Hawkins. If I get a client whos a rapper, Im going to talk to him the same way Im talking to you right now. suiting uP ProPerl y Ultimately, the main thing on Hawkins mind is presentation. He wants his clientsin addition to Sanchez, he as two more, including a high-profile Baltimore power-player who shall remain namelessto understand how to manage their own image, and how to work toward that over time. Theres fashion and theres style, says Hawkins. Fashion fades; style is forever. How a suit should fit, how a tie should be tied, how a shirt should fit. You wouldnt wear tweed or wool in the summer, wouldnt wear silk in the winter. The basics. From there, says Hawkins, the process branches out. If a client wants new clothes for a job interview or a new job, it begins with a look at the clients wardrobe to see whats being done correct (if anythingremember, no black shoes with a brown belt). If the client isnt getting jobs after numerous job interviews, Hawkins will ask to see the clients resume, and work from there. Its all about assessing what they want, and then attacking that and getting to the root of the situation. Chugging the remainder of my beer, I demand to know how hed suit me up for an imminent job interview. The price range for his services is really in the clients con-

trol; I tell him I have 500 bucks to spend. Apparently, the process doesnt begin at Mens Wearhouse or Joseph A. Bank. You can buy good suits that arent expensive, but the problem is that the cuts and the fits that they have are horrible. I took a client to Joseph A. Bank and the shoulders of this suitthe kid looked like he was swimming. The first rule is if you need a whole suit size changed, you dont touch it. People think you can go to a tailor and work miraclesno. Hawkins claims his criticisms arent a slam to any of those storesThere are guys who can wear Joseph A. Bankbut rather a larger critique of a generation of American men who dont know what cuts work with their body type. His case in point: ESPN analysts. I dont know why they want to dress like a minister with the five buttons [on the suit jacket]. My dream is to style every single analyst on ESPN. Who lets them go on like that? People have gotten comfortable. And that is the crux of Hawkins whole venture. His attitude hearkens back to a generation of American men who cared about how they dressed, how they behaved, and what both of those components said about their ability, intelligence and status. Starting YGS in the first place is a way for Hawkins to share his accumulated fashion knowledgewhat pants work with what shirts. But modeling it after a fraternal order, no doubt a strong influence from his beautillion days, is a way for Hawkins to encourage young men to hold themselves to a better standard. To challenge each other to dress better, behave better and do more. To rebuff the status quo of the male slacker of todaythe one found in movies like Knocked Up and Pineapple Expressin favor of a more refined, yet no less masculine, man. Indeed, for Hawkins, presenting oneself well through dress and speech is the very epitome of masculinity. We talk for a bit more. The issues of having your company fall into too tiny a niche market (lets think bigger, lets think globally, he says when I ask him just how big he plans to make YGS). He has future plans to pursue a law degree and an MBA, though he doesnt want to put his consulting business on hold. Right now, he is working on a just launched YGS website, blogging and posting photographs; hes debating getting some of his friends in the public relations field involved, so that if he does enter a law

or MBA programhe takes his LSAT and GMAT exams in Septemberhe can have help sustaining the business. Going to be some long nights, jokes Hawkins. Though, long nights, at this point, are not enough of a deterrent. Its about 10:30weve been talking for an hour and a halfwhen the waitress sounds last call, and asks if I want another beer. No, thank you, I decline, and descend the steps of the bar into the cold Baltimore air. What are you off to do now? Still got a little bit of work to do. What work Nick Hawkins has to do at 10:30 on a Tuesday night is beyond me; Im about ready to go to sleep. But for Hawkins, who secures his brown scarf around his neck before gliding casually to his car parked on the opposite side of the street, tonight is just another in a series of long, late nights. C

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BEACHCOMBER
PAT GINLEYS SANDY DRAWERS BRINGS PREPPY TO THE PEOPLE
In the summer of 2009, Pat Ginley was spending his days working as a junior tennis pro on Cape Cod. Though he and his friends worked various jobs during the day, their lives were largely carefree. But the clothing that accompanied the lifestyle they were leading was unreasonably pricey, leaving Ginley in a tough spot. On the small wages that came with his job, he couldnt afford a $30 Polo hat, $28 Mahi Gold T-shirt or a $50 belt from Vineyard Vines. Who could? There was a void between the people who lived the lifestyle that those clothes advertised and those who aspired to that feeling, so Ginley did the only natural thing. He sought to fill it. I thought there had to be some alternative, Ginley said. My goal was to create a brand of clothing that represented a lifestyle with the motto make every day a weekend. Along with this, I would need to create a price that was affordable to highschool and college kids, but not looked up on as cheap. And less than two years after creating his own line of clothing, Sandy Drawers, Ginley is enjoying the benefits of smalltime success and actively seeking the chance to grow his business further. From the beginning, his friends supported the venture, and that mattered more than in most cases. They were, in a sense, the companys target audience. I thought it was a great idea, Billy Donovan said. Donovan and Ginley attended St. Sebastians School in Needham, Mass. and play hockey together at Loyola University Maryland. The fact that there are several other companies out there specializing in a similar category shows the demand for this type of product is strong. I absolutely love the clothing, John Nasca, another friend of Ginleys who was brought on as a sales rep, said. Great beachwear at an affordable price is a formula for success. So far, people have responded. With that in mind, Ginley sought to create his brand. The name Sandy Drawers instantly calls to mind the tail end of a beautiful summer day, when you return home with the remnants of a day at the beach. But like every other clothing brand, they needed a logo. Many, including the horse, seagull, eagle, lamb and sailboat, were taken. At the suggestion of a friend from school, Ginley chose the crab as his logo, a nod to Baltimore-where he attends school. After settling the branding issue, he needed something to slap the logo on. I decided to go with hats because they are worn by both men and women, young and old, and I thought I would have a much larger target market to get my product out there, Ginley said. The first batch of 100 or so hats were thought to be not only profitable, but walking advertisements. Anyone who wore it may be asked about the company. From there, their catalog began to grow. They moved to the staple of nearly every clothing company, the logo T-shirt. The embroidered crab logo on the left breast of the shirt is a classy-yet-fun play on the traditional logo tee. They also produce longsleeved shirts, quarter-zip pullovers with the embroidered crab logo and beach tees with a large, screen-printed crab. The companys success so far hasnt surprised anyone involved. Their basic business model touches on several tenets that lead to brand loyalty. The hats are locally produced on the Cape, the clothing is unique and comfortable and there isnt a hint of corporate persuasion. [Ginley] has built up some capital and has been able to strengthen his company, Donovan said. Sandy Drawers is the perfect company geared toward college students, and with the endless supply of young students, the possibilities are endless. When Ginley went to spend a semester in Ireland, he brought Nasca on board to promote the brand in his stead. Nasca has taken the reigns on several promotional efforts in the Baltimore area, including sponsoring concerts featuring local hip-hop artists at bars frequented by Loyola students. Ginley said the concerts have helped their website gain over 1,000 hits per day, and that sales rise exponentially after they sponsor an event. Such success in their promotion leads many around the company to think on a much larger scale. I think were all hoping to see the crab in a store near you soon, Nasca said. Well be shopping the product around to stores all summer and weve already received interest from a few places, but were a young company and our first priority is to get people to be familiar with the brand. Ginley sees one possibility in their future that he cant help but smile at. Our goal is to develop a bathing suit, starting with mens, Ginley said. We feel the preppy look has gotten a bit out of control, and only so many people can wear flamboyant pinks and purples to the beach. We want to make a suit that is not only comfortable, but aesthetically pleasing to a wide range of people. I always imagine hearing moms at the beach saying Dont you love my sons new Sandy Drawers suit? From little kids to adults, I want to line the beaches with people in Sandy Drawers.

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New Jersey quintet Action Item focuses forward to redefine conventional pop music

POP ART
temporaries, but also from the past they emulated. Now in their early 20s, Action Item keeps this mission in mind more than ever. Were here to do our own thing. I think, to make new, great stuff, you cant really look at the past too much. Cag said. The pitfall for modern pop bands is that they try to make this move without any respect for those who came before them. Action Item is different. They pay their dues. Like their predecessors Maroon 5,

Its easy to forget how seriously people used to take pop music when it was first revolutionized by the Beatles in the 1950s. The British Invasion swept in and it took hold because the music coming from across the pond was uplifting and listenable. The rest came later. The sheer simplicity, marketability and blind appeal of the genre has made it so popular that now were left with Autotune, vapid lyrics and a few too many Rebecca Blacks that never make the next step. For shame, considering the once-great heights from which this genre has tumbled down. For Action Item, a five-piece outfit hailing from Bergen County, N.J., pop is not a dirty word. Their piano-driven choruses and self-aware lyrics hearken back to a maturity many bands on the scene never learned. Its music that never gets as heavy as emo and never gets as light as Michael Buble. Think Maroon 5 with less trill in the tweeters. Think OneRepublics lyrical quality without the overdone production. I think were really honest in our lyrics. We arent writing constant stupid love songs. said Brian Cag, the sweetly-voiced frontman of Action Item. He cites their song Home, a lamenting tune about separation, as an example of this. To have a great pop song you cant just have great music, he said, you have to make it meaningful. Its this brazen formula that has turned Action Item from a garage band fantasy into potential hitmakers. Friends since childhood, Cag, Dave Buczkowski (bass), and Dan Brozek (drums) all fell in love with music at the same time, influenced by acts like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Shortly thereafter, in 2006, they met current guitarist/cellist Anthony Li. Mark Shami (piano) joined after his local band called it quits and the five of them began to craft a sound that they hoped would differentiate them not only from the pack of their high school con-

ever, the band is currently working in Los Angeles to put together a new single, one that will hopefully land them regular radio play this summer. Ultimately, the goal is to release a full-length album, but Cag recognizes that this too is a careful procedure. Were really trying to write the best full-length possible since this is going to be our first full-length as a band and I think this is more important than anything in our career he said. I think the first real CD a

L TO R: DA BUCZKOWSKI, MARK VE SHAMI, BRIAN CAG, ANTHONY LI, DAN BROZEK.

who spent five years touring in a van before the success of Songs About Jane, Action Item got a booking agent and started playing every club in their native state to get their name out. Because of their earnest work and savvy business focus, theyve hit the launching pad, reaching #34 on Billboards Heatseekers Chart with their most recent EP The Stronger the Love. In 2010, the band played a sold-out show at Nassau Coliseum alongside Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez which gave them wide exposure in a thriving market. The result has been increased rotation on Disney Radio and appearances on festival tours like the Vans Warped Tour and Bamboozle. However, in 2011, Action Item turned down an opportunity to tour with Rebecca Black in an effort to separate themselves from mainstream acts like Bieber and Gomez who dont share the same flair for musicianship and lyricism. More conscious of their image than

band puts out is going to define them for the rest of their lives. Perhaps the lyrics arent the only thing about Action Item thats self-aware. With this careful, plotting mentality, Action Item sets to engineer its success on its own terms a lost art in their oversaturated genre. The next step is finding a record label that allows for this. Weve been talking to every major label out there. Were just trying to find the right deal and the right partners to team up with. Smart. Which is surprising for a pop act these days. But not for Action Item.

LISTEN TO ACTION ITEM AT ACTIONITEMBAND.COM.

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BRIAN CAG AT AN ACTION ITEM SHOW AT SCHOOL OF ROCK IN SOUTH HACKENSACK, N.J.

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THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE, I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE


PERFECT TEETH
For when you need something stronger than the Bushmills whiskey you switched to when you needed something stronger than the Bud Light you had been drinking . . .
Kings county Distillery shine The brainchild of two guys with 9-to-5 jobs, so you know its good. David Haskell, a magazine editor, and David Spoelman, a writer for an architectural firm, have been producing the first corn whiskey and bourbon New York City has seen since the days of Prohibition, distilling during nights and weekends in a modest office housed in a converted industrial loft smack-dab on the Newton Creek. Plus, they sell the stuff out of old medicine bottles. A 200-mL bottle of Kings County corn whiskey is 40 percent alcoholenough for a buzz. Bottles of the good stuff can be purchased at stores in Brooklyn and Manhattan. For ordering online, go through Astor Wines and Spirits or Park Avenue Liquor Shop. OLE SMOKY TENNESSEE MOONSHINE At the foot of the Smoky Mountainsnestled in the city of Gatlinburg in the heart of East Tennesseethere stands a glorious beacon of corn whiskey production. Its also conveniently located directly across the street from the Ripleys Believe It or Not! museum. The Ole Smoky distillery produces three different types of legendary and nostril-burning shine. Their White Lightnin, produced from 100 percent grain neutral spirits that have been distilled six times for premium smoothness, tastes like jet fuel. Or whatever we think jet fuel would take like. Point is: drink it straight (shots only) or sub it in for that pear-flavored vodka youre hiding (and with reason) in your freezer. Their original corn whiskey has a slight corn taste, but the same amount of burn as the Lightninboth are 100 proof. But the best of the restthe coup de grace of moonshine, if you willis Ole Smokys Apple Pie shine. Think of grandmas warm apple pie, remove all the dirty, disturbing and outdated references to Jason Biggs, and make it drinkable. Its heaven in a mason jar. And only 40 proof, so keep two on hand. Fortunately for all of us, you need not be in Gatlinburg to stock up on Ole Smokys shine. But if you want any of their seasonal flavorspineapple, tea, eggnogwell Gatlinburgs only six hours from Nashville.

JUNIOR JOHNSONS MIDNIGHT MOONSHINE Straight from North Carolina. And it has fruit inside. Joe Michalek, New York native and founder of the Piedmont Distillery that produces the shiny stuff, follows the Johnson family recipe exactly, from the corn they harvest to the copper stills that hold the mash before final distilling. Their original moonshine is triple distilled, and their fruit varietiesapple pie, cherry, and strawberrybegin with the original shine before having the respective fruits placed by hand inside each jar. The wait is several weeks, but the end product lets you know why theres a saying about good things and people waiting. With distributors in 26 states, Junior Johnsons is within a drinking arms reach.

WO R D S & P H O T O S BY A N D R E W Z A L E S K I A N E S S AY BY J E R RY FAG E R B E RG

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A LABOR OF LOVE
RUNNING SOXPROSPECTS.COM
It doesnt take much to get noticed at a minor league ballpark. The people at such games can only be described as curious. Not whos that man talking to when hes the only person in his row? curious, but inquisitive. If you sit behind home plate with a notebook, someone will ask you what youre doing before the second-inning dizzy bat race. Sit there with a radar gun and the seats behind you will just so happen to fill up quickly. Everyone wants to know more. net. Traditional prospect publications like Baseball America, the gold standard in covering amateur and minor league baseball, couldnt focus on just one team and the mainstream Boston media couldnt cover seven teams in seven different cities. So Andrews began to develop the site in early 2003, and in September of that year, launched the first edition, which consisted of just a rankings page and basic player pages for each of the top-40 players. From there, SoxProspects has done nothing but grow. Though hes brought on a staff of nearly 20 volunteers, Andrews has spearheaded nearly every aspect of the sites expansion. With a site so expansive, its a wonder that one guy does so much of it, senior columnist and minority partner Chris Hatfield said. Without him, the site doesnt exist, period. Early on, Andrews added a forum, transaction logs and team roster pages. Soon after came an unparalleled statistical database, an in-depth Wiki and a news blog featuring player interviews. But the site has become respected within the baseball community for its player evaluation. Chris Mellen, the sites director of scouting, had been following the site for a while when he met Andrews at Futures at Fenway, a minor-league doubleheader at the big-league park, in 2007. Its through this commitment that Mellen has been able to develop relationships with major league scouts, many of whom are familiar with the sites work. One of the more gratifying things is when someone from the scouting community will make mention of a report, or seems very up to speed with the work we do, Mellen said. SoxProspects.com is definitely known within the community, and Ive come across people who use it as a resource to target players or develop a base of what to look for. The recognition doesnt end within the scouting community. Andrews is in regular contact with Bostons front-office, and affiliate correspondent Jonathan Singer has contacts in the Dominican Republic, a largely untapped area when it comes to player information. The site also regularly praised in the mainstream media, the highlight for Andrews coming when Hall of Fame baseball writer Peter Gammons shouted out its work on Twitter. But while Andrews is, in theory, living every American mans dreamhe frequently watches baseball games under the guise of workthe site isnt his day job. Though he worked in web design around the time he created the site, Andrews is an attorney at a Boston law firm, and according to Hatfield, a skilled one at that. But Hatfield, who worked side-by-side at Andrews law firm last summer, said that its probably that job that allows the site to succeed. Dont get me wrong, he doesnt short change his work at said day job Hatfield said. Part of why he is able to do this is that hes lucky enough to work at a day job that allows him to connect remotely to his home computer, where the site is located, Despite the longevity and success of the site, its far from a cash cow. Andrews said that the site made around $1,500 last year, all of which went back into expanding the sites scouting efforts. Five staff members went to minor league spring training at the sites expense, seeing every player in the system in a matter of days. There isnt much money to be made in a site like his, but Andrews isnt looking to make money off it. This is truly a labor of love for him, Hatfield said. We certainly make some decisions with the goal of increasing profit, but he runs the site because he loves it and because weve gained such a loyal following. Thats why he puts so much time in.

THE SEASON IS HERE.


MLBSHOP.COM
So its no surprise that Mike Andrews, creator of SoxProspects.com, has found a comfortable niche in a corner of the vast expanses of the internet, bringing the Red Sox stars of tomorrow to fans who crave information on them. In 2010, the site had 15 million page views and struck a partnership with ESPN.com, beyond anything Andrews expected when he created the site in 2003. Its been a pleasant surprise, Andrews said. Its more than I ever envisioned when I launched the site. After five years of following Bostons minor league system, he noticed a lack of any centralized information on the inter-

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AUSTIN, TEXAS A PHOTOJOURNAL BY JESSE DEFLORIO 1 4

OPPOSITE P AGE 1. VOXHAUL BROADCAST 2. CISCO ADLER FROM SHW YZE A 3. MOBY DJS AT THE PUREVOLUME HOUSE 4. THE LONEL FOREST (ATLANTIC RECORDS) Y 5. ANDREW WK WITH A FAN 6. DONALD GLOVER FROM NBCS "COMMUNITY" THIS P AGE DA HAUSE FROM PHILADELPHIA-BASED PUNK VE BAND THE LOVED ONES PERFORMS

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T H E A RT O F T R AV E L I N G . . . A L O N E
Quit your job and travel by yourself. Brook Silva-Braga did.
It started when HBO sent him to film a profile piece on Manny Pacquiao, the boxer from the Philippines. Having never been to Asia, he decided to backpack around Thailand once filming was over. But a 5-day trip turned into a 2-week excursion after meeting two guys from Belfast who were doing an around-the-world trip. An around-theworld trip? Hed never heard of anything like it. Why not? His conscience nagged him. He had the means to do it. No wife, no house, no mortgage. Why not? mentary film A Map for Saturday, which eventually aired on MTV and documented what it was like to travel the world solo. (Silva-Bragas ticket took him first to Sydney from New York, then to Bangkok, Thailand, then to Delhi, India, then Athens, Greece, Stockholm, Sweden, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and then back to the U.S. from Buenos Aires, Argentina.) In the wake of a trip that would make Jules Verne envious, Silva-Braga has since left his job at HBO to pursue documentary I never really heard of such thing. But just in a week or two, I realized it was the most exciting, interesting, fun thing. And then once I realized it was something I wanted to do at some point, it seemed like there would be no better time than now. People in their twenties dont have great options in their job prospects right now, but they also dont have a lot of responsibility. Its just not in our culture in the States the way it is in Europe or Australia, or even Canada. So I think if youre not exposed to it, its hard to know if you even want to do it. But I dont like to pile on to the incurious, insular American routine, cause I think thats a bit overstated. I think once Americans get out there, theyre just as interested and curious as Europeans. But I think theyre less likely to take that first step. You know, you dont meet that many French people when youre traveling. Its not in the French culture the same way its in the British culture or the German or Scandinavian cultures. Im not sure thats cause French people arent curiousor that American people arent curiousits just for whatever reason, not something many people do. That was Brook Silva-Braga at 24, not far removed from college and wondering about the pathway of his life. Silva-Braga had graduated from New York University with a degree in journalism; he had been working for HBO since age 19, first as an intern, and then as a full-time employee in their sports department. Prior to his assignment in the Philippines, Silva-Braga had only been to a few other countries, but never for as long as two weeksand certainly never for an entire year. So in 2005, leaving both a job and a home, Silva-Braga embarked alone on an around-the-world trek, traveling to 26 countries and four continents, staying in cheap hostels, tagging along with fellow travelers and filming the entire time. The product became the award-winning docufilmmaking. It seems to be working out. Silva-Braga spent February through June of 2008 traveling around Africa and filming One Day In Africa, which documented the lives of everyday Africans. His latest project, which he just finished in March 2011, had him traversing through China and the United States investigating how peoples lives were influenced by and influencing the other country. Not bad for someone who traveled around the world with only four pairs of underwear. And so we ask Silva-Braga: whats up with going it alone? (And can you really make it on just four pairs of underwear?) It never occurred to me that this was something I wanted to do, let alone would make a sacrifice to do. I had the main 5 or 6 stops pathed out. [While filming A Map for Saturday] I was on an around-the-world ticket. So I knew I would land in Sydney, Australia, on January 8 and leave on March 15, but I didnt know what I would do those two months. I almost never knew where Id be sleeping two nights in a row. One thing you realize when youre traveling is the destinations matter less than the people. If you meet someone cool and theyre going south, but you want to go north, chances are youre going south. You read in guidebooks whats cool, you hear from travelers whats cool. As a traveler I became more and more fascinated by why we want to go to the places we wanted to go.

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G O S O U T H , , YO U N G M E N , A N D F I N D A DV E N T U R E

When road-tripping along the edges of the Bible Belt, remember the cardinal rule: Drink heavily.
There comes a time in every boys life where he finds it necessary to test his mettlehis manhood. The Spartans unleashed their barely-pubescent boys into the wild to fight wolves and other, er, wild animals (at least, according to the movie 300). The Americans? Well, we have a little something called the American South. Ah, yes. Can you smell that? The Southland. Home to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Dollywood and one mean siege of Vicksburg circa July, 1863. Were calling for all men to embark on a trek across the (not really uncharted) abyss that is the former Confederacy. And were not talking about ambushing New Orleans on Mardi Gras like all the other crazed men who still find it thrilling to throw girls beads and await the resultsfar too pass. So spare the road trip to the West for another time. If you follow our lead, youll be saying Yall and drinking moonshine for less than 500 bucks. Anchor your trip around bars. In cities. (Well, just anchor your trip around cities.) You want anchors. Choosing specific destinations to eventually come to gives your trip a definable purpose. We absolutely encourage aimless driving along Tennessees Route 50 to take in unforgettable scenery (Gods CountryBible Beltyou get it). But ending up in the middle of nowhere for one night could leave you and your road-tripping buddies feeling underwhelmed and cheated (we drove all this way for some trees?). Think Atlanta, Knoxville, Louisville, Savannah. Think cities, and youll always be near the action each night you stop off. But skip the Courtyard Marriott. Its a road trip, not a romantic getaway with Stacey, the secretary from the office. Swallow your pride and prepare to spend nights in Travelodges and Howard Johnson motels. These are close enough downtown for cab fares to be reasonable (anywhere from $13 to $20). All you need is a clean bed to sink down in and a working shower. And at 40 bucks a night for many of these places, its a bargain. So cheap, in fact, you could leave your friend behind if he gets too annoying. After all, going from paying 20 bucks per night to 40 isnt all that bad. Remember NashVegas, the Holy Grail of all Southern cities. Nashvilles Broadway strip doesnt close. Ever. During the day, rock and country bands play in nearly every joint that isnt a boots and 10-gallon hats store. At night, its the same story, except the neon is so powerful it could give Kanyes All of the Lights video a run for its money. Happy Hours and 2-for1 deals aboundincluding some bars that make their hours extra happy by beginning them at 11 a.m.so finding cheap beer isnt a problem. Just remember to stop off at the one place in Nashville that makes it worth putting a tie on: The Patterson House. Mastercrafted cocktails elegantly concocted by bartenders in waistcoats. Marvelous. Get the Bacon Old-Fashioned. What to take with you: On the Road by Jack Kerouac. Listen, its a legendary novel for a reason people relate to it. There was once a time in American history where every beatnik on the East Coast was packing his things and driving for the horizon simply because of it. Reading it in companion to your own experience can help add a lot of perspective and encourage reflection; especially if youre travelling alone. If youve read it before, try reading it again when youre sleeping in your back seat in Nowhere, Georgia. It wont be the same. Kerouacs own adventures on the open American road will definitely enrich your own and, who knows, maybe even inspire you to get typing. What clothes to bring: Be a minimalist. Bring enough pairs of underwear so that its sanitary. A good cardigan or pullover sweater should do the trick for chilly days. Depending on the season, you can leave the heavy coat behind. And youll need at least one good outfit to wear to pricier bars and restaurants. A gray or navy sport coat, white dress shirt, a dressier pair of jeans (think H&M or Polo) and a pair of oxfords (either black or brown with gray and navy) should do the trick. Save the wingtips for work. What to leave behind: Your datebook. Nothing ruins the experience of roadtripping like traveling on a strict schedule. Having deadlines makes you rush to meet them and, when you miss a few in a row, you begin to fight yourself to make up time. Having a loose itinerary is a good idea. Remember: anchors. Only embark on a road trip when you have ample time to do so at least a week. Allow yourself to get lost in the travel and youll begin to notice all that the road has to offer. When you have an A-to-B perspective in the drivers seat, you miss all the wonderful details. This is a journey. Revel in it.

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DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GROWNUP?


a question & answer with michael kimmel

Thats the idea of not really having a life plan, not really knowing where to go and how to develop it. Q: Right. Im wondering if theres some sort of value in a period of exploration or self-discovery that isnt perhaps self-indulgent so much as it is working out what we want to do? Absolutely. This doesnt need to be a negative. Its not a negative time in your life. Its not necessarily a bad thing. My job wasnt to condemn [Guyland]. Mine was to simply say this is here, so we better pay some attention to it. I entirely agree that there are plenty of reasons why it might not be a bad thing. I worry about the drifting; I worry that without helping young men find a way to feel confident and that theyre able to navigate this world, that we do them a great disservice. Q: Another writer in your same vein, Kay Hymowitz, seems to be worried by that too. Although she wonders where the good menmarry-able, responsible menhave gone. But many men just see that as a case of women judging men by womens standards. For instance, one commenter to her February essay in The Wall Street Journal thinks theres a double standard: women not needing men is self-empowerment, but men not needing women are man-boys who have Star Wars posters on their walls. Theres some tension there, no? I agree with you. This is a woman who actually reviewed Guyland in The Wall Street Journal and was very critical of it. So imagine my surprise when I read her new book [Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys] and its basically Guyland. So she took all of my ideas but gives me none of the credit, which I thought was really interesting. But heres the place where she and I diverge. She blames women for this. She thinks its womens fault that men are where they are and that theyre not stepping up. And therefore the goal, she says, has to be to get men to marry, because theyre not committing to women, theyre not committing

Q: When did you start piecing together this idea of Guyland? I first started noticing it of course in my own life when Guyland was offered to me as what guys are supposed to do. I went through a very sort of conventional Guyland adolescence. You know, playing sports and hanging out with my guy friends. But like most guys I kind of drifted out of Guyland. Had some help along the way by being political because it was the late 60s, early 70s, so the [Vietnam] War and the draft and civil rights was all sort of breaking at that time. But the second time I started to notice it was in the past, say, 10 years. Many of my colleagues started to come to me and say, You know, the women in my classes are just so ambitious, and theyre so goaloriented and theyre so directed and they know just where theyre going, and the guys are just drifting. They dont seem to know where theyre going, they dont seem to have a plan for their lives. Theyre kind of sitting there with their baseball hats turned around and saying its all good. Q: You said you were able to transition out of Guyland because of the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights Movement and other significant issues you felt you had a connection to. It was almost like you had a responsibility to grow up and tune in. Do guys today feel a disconnect from anything larger than ourselves? I think there is a sense in some kind of way [that] both of these statements are true: Nothing I do really matters. Therefore Im going to focus entirely on me. But this is not inevitably the case. Obviously there are large numbers of men that are engaged and connected and involved in developing a kind of career and plan for their lives. But I did notice that a lot of them were drifting.

Q: Are young men today concerning to older men in, say, the corporate world? Our future bosses, if you willdo they look at us and go, What is going to happen when they take over? [Laughing]. Sometimes. Men start to worry about these kinds of issues, at least in my experience, when they have a kid, but not that much before. So once you have a kid, then you say, now Im worrying about the future generation. I work for an organization called Dads and Daughters, for men who want to be really engaged in their daughters lives. And the men come to this organization when their daughters hit puberty and they are absolutely astonished at the kinds of things that are being said about their daughter. Thats when they decide, Oh my god, this has gotta stop, weve really gotta do something here. This is really wrong. They hadnt noticed it before, but now suddenly they are all over it. Q: Sure, but I wonder if there are men in their 40s who look at guys in their 20s and go I dont want to give you a job, youre going to be sloppy, youre going expect a raise on your first day Youre not going to commit to the job, youre not going commit to the training. Yeah. Employers are in some ways reluctant to hire young men because they feel like theyre not going to commit. You know it takes a long time to build the kind of career that will lead to the kind of stability and security and everything that you want. And if you dont get it within three or four months, well, you start looking around again. Q: At one point in your book you say that lots of guys have grandiose visions of their futures with no idea how to get there.

to family. But I dont think that marriage is necessarily the single marker of being an adult. And for large numbers of men they want to be guys as long as they possibly can. And theres nothing demographically or economically thats pushing them to get married. Getting married, having a family, having a mortgage, this is what weve always thought of as being a man, and it means that we define manhood as something thats kind of boring. You know, manhood equals responsibility, being sober, a good breadwinner, a provider and never having any fun. Whereas being a boy is like being the opposite: its like irresponsible, carefree fun. I think that large numbers of guys identify that way and feel, well, why should I rush? Q: I wonder if the tension exists because guys look around and realize this isnt the 1950s. Women have the same jobs we do, the responsibilities we do, theyre graduating college like we do, theyre getting paychecks like we do. For some guys, can it be daunting to, essentially, redefine what it means to be a man? Thats a good question. You know, heres how I would return to this. Once upon a time we lived in a society that was really, really unequal. Only men could go to Yale and Harvard and Princeton. So when you applied to a class of a thousand, you were only competing with other men. But now youre applying to a class of a thousand, and youve doubled the applicant pool, and its much, much harder to get in now. Now, you might say those women are taking our places, but the truth is, you have basically stacked the deck for years. So youve never lived in a real meritocracy. Now that you do, youre kvetching about it. Isnt that interesting? Why are men so afraid of meritocracy? Why cant they compete with people of color, with gay people, with women, for the same jobs? Do we really need an affirmative action system to enable us to get those jobs? You mean we really couldnt compete on our own? Were scared of meritocracy. Q: I guess the traditional definition of man has gone and now its almost like men dont realize or dont understand what values define what this new man should be. If having exclusive access to those positions was what defined us as a man, and

now we dont have exclusive access to those positions, then yeah. Theres no question that some guys are resentful of this. Do I have to start every race with such a head start that its absolutely certain that Ill win? I think if we have that kind of idea, then we really set the bar kind of low for men and we expect very little of them. But I think guys can step up. And the good news, of course, is you, like many friends of yours, have good friends of the opposite sex. That was impossible, under the old system. You know, the old deal was men and women cant be friends because sex always gets in the way. Well, not anymore. And what are friendships? You make friendships with your equals, right? We experience in a day-to-day basis, equality with women. And not only does it hurt us, but we like it. Q: Is there anything, from your interviewing, that tells you what guys do to hold themselves in Guyland? I think we have to start challenging each other as men. Because when the guy wakes up and hes drinking during the day, its not just funny. And then I think we have to start supporting each other because many of us actually ridicule each other as wusses when we say were serious about our schoolwork, when we say we dont wanna go out on a Tuesday night to get drunk. The idea of supporting each other as men and challenging each other as men is a missing piece here, because we always look to women to do it. Q: So what do guys do? Where does this exit from Guyland happen? I mean, look, most guys are going to become grownups eventually. And I think most experience their becoming adults in retrospect. Gee, I have a mortgage and Im married and I have a kid, I guess Im an adult now. They dont actually look forward to it prospectively; they experience it retrospectively. Most people dont look for those external markers of being an adult. I think what we do now is look for internal feelings: do I feel like a grownup now?

If you play video games and have sex all the time, you might be a guy. Granted, chances are you might very well be a girl. But that isnt the point of Michael Kimmels 2008 book, Guyland. Kimmel, a sociology professor at SUNY Stony Brook with a long published history of analyzing mens issues, interviewed more than 400 guys to reach his ultimate conclusion: these days, guys a demographic as young as 16 and as old as 26are just drifting into Guyland, a place where we dont have life plans, ambition, goals or direction. We just sort of, well, want to be left alone. And well eventually figure it all out. But for now, just let us play video games and hook up. Hell, arent we living until 90 anyway? Whats the rush? Subtitled The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, Guyland seeks to understand the reasons for the drifting (and why our bosses resent guys at age 25). We spoke to Kimmel about his book, the guy phenomenon, and whether guys in their 20s should be allowed to drift for awhile.

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WHAT YOU MIGHT HA MISSED VE IN FILM, LITERATURE AND MUSIC


FILM EYES OF THE MOTHMAN MATTHEW PELLOWSKI RED LINE STUDIOS MARCH 2, 2011 There is an esoteric history of America that is often dismissed as folklore and mytha collection of weirdo creatures and happenings that, typically speaking, happen upon bumpkins and farmers and slowly build themselves into the countrys cultural fabric. Matthew Pellowskis Eyes of the Mothman explores, at length, one of these strange histories as it was reported in Point Pleasant, W. Va., in 1966. Pellowskis 2007 documentary, out now on DVD, dives far more into the legend than the campfire tales and old lore. Pellowski gives every possible explanation and cryptic connection involving the sighting of a red-eyed, bird-like monster made famous in John Keels 1975 nonfiction book The Mothman Prophecies. In 2002, it was made into a feature film of the same name starring bodhisattva superstar Richard LITERATURE KISS ME, STRANGER RON TANNER IG PUBLISHING MARCH 15, 2011 Gere, earning mixed reviews for its believability and execution. What Eyes lacks in Gere it makes up for in breadth, beginning with a snapshot of the rural riverside town before heading into the meat of the tale. Narrated by the astute and haunting voice of Richard Pait, the documentary, though droningly slow at points, explores Point Pleasants sordid past and a supposed curse laid upon the town due to the murder of Chief Cornstalk. Pellowski continually teases the viewer, and doesnt get into the cryptozoology until first giving the town its due justice. He goes on to explain how Point Pleasant housed igloos of TNT during World War II, which, after a time, began having an adverse effect on the local environment. The abandoned TNT plant off the highway would eventually become a haven for Mothman sightings. The theories only roll on from there. There are suddenly mysterious men in black seen around town, lights attributed to UFOs in the sky, a mysterious grinning man named Indrid Cold, dinosaur and mutant bird theories, and, eventually, the eerie When Ron Tanner isnt beatin the skins for his jazz troupe Jazz Caravan or restoring his Victorian row house, hes writing award-winning poetry and prose. Tanner has brought home a Faulkner Society Gold Medal, a Pushcart Prize, a New Letters Award first prize, a Best of the Web award and G.S. Sharat Chandra Award and the Towson Prize for Literature for his collection of short fiction, A Bed of Nails. Oh, and on top of this, in 2007, he started a project in the Marshall Islands to preserve the countrys oral tradition in literature and digital media. Yeah. Tanner brings this Renaissance mentality into his debut novel, Kiss Me, Stranger, out now on IG Publishing. The novel, which is told from the perspective of Penelope, a mother of 14 who is trying to maintain her sanity in a dystopian city torn apart by two warring militia, includes over 50 illustrations to drive the plot. Drawn by Tanner using Adobe Photoshop, the purposefully collapse of the Silver Bridge in December 1967. All in all, Eyes is much in the same vein as an elongated episode of Unsolved Mysteriescomplete with the oft-campy reenactments that make you cringe with delight. Call it a guilty pleasure, but Eyes satisfies a very primal need. The doc ends with a return to Point Pleasants eyewitnesses and believers, whom you come to view not as tinfoil-hatwearing loonies but as people who are simply astounded by the mysteries of the world. Its beautifully summarized in a single shot where closeups of all the interviewees eyes meld together in rapid succession with the telltale red orbs of the Mothmans own. Eyes provides more questions than answers, but that is precisely what makes the 155-minute feature so pleasantly endurable. Americans have always had a morbid fascination with the unknown cryptids of rural legend. From Bigfoot to the Chupacabra to the Leeds Devil, the paranormal has been an obsession that never rests, stirring the back of the mind that waits for a film like Pellowskis to entice and wonder. crude and childish illustrations are an invitation into the tumultuous world that the children experience as well as an escape from it providing a humorous reprieve from the food-poor, hostile environment of the novel. Humor is the novels true strength, even beyond the playful drawings. The reader arrives in Tanners dystopia in the wake of a revolt. The President, who requires that his people refer to him as the Man, has been overthrown after running the economy into the ground, wasting government funding to build monuments to his mother, his college roommate and even several of his wifes deceased Shih Tzus. Other running jokes in the novel, some involving a foulmouthed 2-year-old, lend a tone of deep wit and pert sarcasm that are good for belly laughs as well as snarky brow-raisers. Not for nothing, the humor is very honest to the dynamic of a family with nothing but each other to get by. Forced out

of their run-down row house by a vengeful metal collector, the family must bind together in a massive landfill while they wait out the end of the war, often dining on paste and government-issued cheese mix. Without humor, they would not survive. In this context, a female protagonist allows the male reader to move away from the overlymasculinized clich of war novels and to accept Tanners feminized narration. Male readers will still find tangents of thought in common with the tough-as-nails Penelope. Many dystopian novels fall apart by harping too hard on parables without allowing the humanity of characters to surface. For all its bleak imagery, Kiss Me, Stranger comes through as a message of hope. Written, in part, 10 years ago during a traumatic divorce, Tanner used the novels beginMUSIC VS. & VITALOGY DELUXE EDITION PEARL JAM SONY LEGACY MARCH 29, 2011 Box sets are your fathers thing. We know. Its what rock dinosaurs release when the escrow is waning and stadium reunion tours arent yet on the radar. Buying music is for people who dont know how to use the internet. Weve heard that one too. But this is an exception were just going to have to make. Pearl Jam is one of those bands who everyone knew would be classic the first time they heard Evenflow and this collection proves exactly that. Generation X grew up on Pearl Jam. Their seminal album Ten, released in 1991, launched them into musical history as the voice of a despondent population who never cared about what the 80s had to offer. What often gets lost in the shuffle are Pearl Jams follow-up albums, Vs. and Vitalogy, which only continued the legend. Sony Legacy is now re-releasing those two albums in a vivid box set as a reminder to all those GenXers who may have gotten too caught up in their 9-to-5 to remember how good it felt to jam the volume knob in their parents minivan when Pearl Jam came on the radio. Thats the type of constant memory that Pearl Jam dredges up that makes an anthologized collection very appropriate. Although its hard to believe this release celebrates PJs 20th anniversary, theres

nings as an escape from his own ruptured home. As the plot progresses, Tanners dilemma becomes painfully real in his characters perseverance. Penelope is haunted by dreams of her estranged husband and son, Maurice and Lon, who have entered the war. Distressed by her familial obligations, she constantly fantasizes, only to find that the line between her fantasies and her future is much thinner than she supposed. The novel moves quickly and, at 168 pages, is an easy read. But what makes Kiss Me, Stranger so digestible is the balance of humor, illustration, insight and compelling circumstance which Tanner manages. The effect of this is an uplifting feeling of postapocalyptic charm that lasts an effect that only a Renaissance man could muster.

some part of us all that never let them go to begin with. Its worth capitalizing on the nostalgia here because not only will the listener satisfy the angst-ridden inner teen, but you might just remember just how really, really good Pearl Jam truly is something their last, Target-lauded album may have made you forget. Bandwagon PJ fans will get some gratification here too. Hits such as Daughter, Better Man and Go are included in the collection, alongside some bonus tracks that could turn minor fandom into fullfledged obsession. Fans more familiar with PJs discography will be relieved that the box set doesnt come off as another Greatest Hits collection that tries to capitalize off PJs big-name status but is a balanced with all the original songs from either album. All the familiar guitar riffs and drum

fills are nicely remastered for high-def audio as well, bringing the band closer than ever. Vs. & Vitalogy also includes a bonus live recording from Bostons legendary rock-house The Orpheum Theatre tasty jiblets for anyone who used to rock cut-offs and flannel shirts back in the day. Of course, Vs. & Vitalogy is available for digital download on iTunes or, if youre a good enough pirate, for free on BitTorrent; but were gonna recommend an investment on this one. The set is beautifully housed in an understated box with either album cover on the side, an exclusive collectors cassette featuring cover versions of PJ jams and all the paper memorabilia youd ever need. Oh, its also bundled with a digital copy which sounds way better than the one you Napstered on your parents turquoise iMac as a teenager.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A SOLO CD BY EDDIE VEDDER IN THE SUMMER OF 2011 AS WELL

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BREW SPOTLIGHT
BALTIMORE
culture that you can rarely differentiate between two competing brewers outside and in. The market is flooding with big-bodied pale ales and seasonals named with clever witticisms that, at some point, all seem to go down the same. Enter Clipper City. Under the brand name Heavy Seas, Clipper City churns out around 24 different offerings, each styled with their unique pirate theme in mind. The brews run the gamut from your standard summer ale to a more daring Belgian Dubble yeast all the way to a rowdy smoked imperial porter thatll make sure you never confuse Heavy Seas with any other line on the market. Though their dare to Embrace your Inner Pyrate! may suggest a bit of recipe pillaging, dont expect them to hold a cutlass to the throat of the beer titans. We would never do a low-calorie beer, or a light beer per se, said Clipper Citys head brewer Chris Mallon, Theres no diet beer. Dont expect them to throw something together for the sake of big beer either. Although it has become somewhat of a competition in the industry to see who can brew the most potent beer, Heavy Seas isnt about knocking the drinkers socks off for bragging rights. We try to make our beers different but yet drinkable. Were not going to make a beer with a bunch of shit in it and be like Here, try this, this is great because its like 60 percent or something. Mallon said. Instead, the idea is to make something drinkable. Thats a word that a certain big beer distributor has been throwing around recently, but with an emphasis on watery complexion thaffft allows a drinker to swill 15-20 cans per night effortlessly (again, for bragging rights). Clipper Citys founder Hugh Sisson has his own theory. We were using that word before Anheuser-Busch was using that word and we Baltimore is one of Americas oldest cities but has a very new tradition of brewing. To help broaden the palette of the thirsty reader, Commodity has decided to showcase a little of the local brew-fare in Charm City. Who doesnt love a full-bodied microbrew especially one of those clandestine treasures from beer-makers your friends have probably never heard of? mean it entirely different from what they mean. What Clipper City means is finesse. Sisson founded his brewery to brew something that red-blooded beer drinkers could indulge in without scaring away those looking to experiment. Its not your first time in the maelstrom, Heavy Seas mission statement says, That means you can have fun AND survive. Heavy Seas is a full-spectrum brew house that sacrifices no clout (beers range from 4.75-10.6 percent ABV) for style. For Sisson, the key point is differentiation. Heavy Seas flagship beer is a triplehopped IPA called Loose Cannon. With light citrus nodes and a big hop finish, it is easy to see why this award-winner is so popular, despite its robust 7.25 percent concentration. Loose Cannon is largely responsible for carrying the Heavy Seas brand into drinker markets in 22 states. More than anything, Loose Cannon does wonders for brand recognition. (Editors note: Heavy Seas will be pulling out of 4-6 of these markets in the next 3-4 months, according to Sisson.) There are a lot of companies that dont really have a flagship, per se, Mallon said, and Loose Cannon is, by far, ours. And its a great IPA. In a burgeoning market where every beer-bellied enthusiast is trying to get his sea legs, this is exactly what Heavy Seas is looking for a steady flagship to carry them to promising shores. TRANSLATING THE NAME When Hugh Sisson began brewing at his eponymous restaurant more than 25 years ago, there was nothing pirated about his passion to brew. In fact, before he got the law changed and became the first brew pub in Maryland, there was no one in the state doing anything like Sisson. Before long, his place became renowned as the premiere

LOOKING DEEPER From the outside, Clipper City Brewing Co. looks much like any other brewery in America. You wouldnt be able to pick it out of the industrial park where it sits if it werent for the lingering urine-esque scent of spent hops surrounding the door. Even with this pungent indicator, microbrewing has become such a vast trend in American

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sud-stop in the Old Line State, and the natural transition was into brewing. He sold his share of Sissons in 1995, opened Clipper City Brewing Co. and invited all of Baltimore to join his mutiny. [W]hen we started I dont know if we were reflecting the beer culture of Baltimore as much as we were leading the beer culture of Baltimore. says Sisson, Now, I think, the beer culture has, in many respects, caught up to us. Catching up to Clipper City is no easy task. This is doubly so, considering the Baltimore market is, according to Sisson, a little late jumping on the microbrew gangway. Their 32,000-barrelper-year production (up 75 percent from last year) is second only in Maryland to Colorado-transplant Flying Dog (75,000 barrels, located in Frederick, Md.), and the demand is only growing from there. Our Heavy Seas brand is absolutely taking off for us, said Mallon, who has seen the company grow into a multi-million dollar business in his five years with Clipper City. We cant make enough beer. Clipper City took the first major step in expanding their brand last year when they yoked the many varieties of beers together under the unified name Heavy Seas. Before, Clipper City was rolling out an assortment of beers (including an all-organic brand) under different names, ultimately diluting their recognition in the small craft market. We were kind of all over the place, a little bit, and what Hugh decided is he decided to take all of our beers and put them under one moniker, under one brand, which is the Heavy Seas label, recalled Mallon. The plan has paid off in spades. Lead by Loose Cannon, Heavy Seas has taken hold in the East Coast beer market. Separated by weight into three fleets Clipper Fleet, Pyrate Fleet and Mutiny Fleet Heavy Seas has put forward a dynamic marketing plan to take advantage of what Sisson calls an overall paradigm shift in the customer. By which he means, an evolution towards Epicureanism. Just turn the TV on to the Food Channel he said, Whats happened is that the consumer has movedaway from the Joe Six Packs, the corporate knock-it-out stuff to be more interested in the more artisanal, authentic, original kinds of products.

With this shift in mind, the plan is, of course, to capitalize and grow. Having added 25-30 percent more production volume last December, Sisson plans to keep growing. Another four tanks will be added this June with increased distribution as the ultimate goal. However, the distribution is carefully planned. Sisson doesnt subscribe to the theory that a river thats a mile wide and an inch deep is better than the reverse. His strategy of supplying his key markets (Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia and Rhode Island) and waiting to expand shows his business-savvy expertise. Simply put,

time is just trying to...do it right. We want to be one of the top breweries in the nation and we want to do it with quality, we want to do it by having fun and we want to keep our standards high. BRAND OF BROTHERS Before the craft brewery scene really took anchor in Baltimore, Sisson had to contract his space to other brewers to make rent. It was, simply, a fact of the business. As Clipper City took off, they needed to expand their production area. When their contracts ran out, the renting brewers went over the gunwale. That is,

What came about was the Raven Beer a mrzen-esque lager with the tagline The Taste is Poetic that was named for Baltimores adoptive son, Edgar Allen Poe a widely recognized symbol of Demczuks hometown, even in Europe. Demczuk describes the poetry of Raven as Southern-style German Lager a very smooth beer, exceptionally smooth, not real hoppy, more of a malty side than anything. Overseas, the beer was a hit and, when the Cleveland Browns relocated to Baltimore in 1998 and became the Ravens, Demczuk brought his German-born brew home to the States. It was then that he ran into Sisson and their partnership began. I had actually talked to him way before that when he was at [Sissons] and he said, Yeah, Id be happy to work with you, said Demczuk, who founded BaltimoreWashington Beer Works to brew Raven domestically So I came back here with the intentions of opening our own facility but it hasnt happened yet. Right now, Demczuk only produces Raven Beer, although he does import a Christmas offering annually from Ger-

many. The plans of one day becoming a self-sufficient brewery are steadily coming. With distribution now treading into a fifth state (potentially Delaware), BaltimoreWashington Beer Works is in need of expansion. Demczuk already has investors looking to help him in this endeavor and has shown interest in purchasing a building that used to be Housners Restaurant in Highlandtown, Baltimore (a facility which would be markedly larger than Clipper City). He has also secured licenses for two new Poe-themed beers: Pendulum Pilsner and Telltale Hearty Ale. All this because, like Sisson, he is facing a demand surge. We cannot even expand anymore because, this entire past year, weve been cutting our distributors short on beer considerably, Demczuk said, Short term, Clipper has ordered new tanks and hopefully thatll alleviate the problem. Long term, we want to move into our own facility. In the interim, Demczuk has been given special consideration at Clipper City because, according to Sisson, Hes local and were all about local. One tank at the

brewery is specifically allotted to producing Raven, alone and for the time being the two work concurrently in the same work space. However, as with all brotherhood, there is a bit of a sibling rivalry. I dont have any more space for him. Sisson relented, And we talked about that. Plus the fact that Im not necessarily in a position where I necessarily want to help him create another product thats going to compete with me in my own market. Not that I wouldnt like to help him out I would but it just aint here. Whether together or individually, both brewers are putting out craft fare that is bolstering Baltimores name in the beer market. The signature taste of this bustling metropolis will, by all predictable measures, be produced behind the doors of Clipper City Brewing Co., whether it be Sisson or Demczuk at the helm. If their past history and current relationship prove one thing, its that this is one market thatll be making a huge splash on the national beer map before long and, for now, theyre thick as thieves.

AP AIR OF P AIRS
8 West Pennsylvania Ave., Towson, Md., (410) 494-8222 Cuban Tapas, Artisanal Selections

Havana Road Cuban Caf

hes looking out for number one and its paying. Another integral piece of Clipper Citys success is Ernesto Igot a modest, smiling Philippine man who has served as brewmaster for the past 10 years. Igot, a chemical engineer by trade, brings a wealth of scientific knowledge to the table and previously spent 25 years as brewmaster of San Miguel what Mallon calls the Budweiser of Asia. Igot himself has described the experience as running a Wal-Mart then going to work at a 7-Eleven, but does not let this deter him from keeping Clipper Citys bilge full of top-tier product. While they may be on the up and up, Mallon assures that, with Igot at the helm, Heavy Seas will never skirt quality for Wal-Mart-level success. I guess our problem at this point in

with one exception. In 1995, Baltimore native Stephen Demczuk was living in Switzerland and studying molecular biology when he came upon the art of craft brewing. Eventually, he moved to Luxembourg, put science aside and focused on starting up a brewery. When he couldnt get enough investors to launch the project, he fell back and started Europes first Beer of the Month Club titled Beer Around the World and began importing and registering unique beers and shipping them off to over 15 European nations. Before long, he caught the eye of German beer distributor Wolfgang Stark. He said, We have the possibility of brewing and American kind of beer in Germany, would you be interested? and I said sure, thats what Im trying to do, explained Demczuk.

The problem with dinner dates is that women are finicky eaters they often have trouble deciding what to order and, a lot of the time, dont even finish whats in front of them. Tapas are the perfect solution to this problem. Havana Road serves a variety of authentic Cuban small plates, all at an affordable price for two. The atmosphere is very casual and run-ins with head chef and flavor expert Marta Ines Quintana are not uncommon for the diner. For a first-timer, the Santiago Ropa Vieja is a must-order dish, but you cant go wrong with anything topped with Mojo. Havana Road is also BYOB so you can bring along your favorite Balto-brew to help quell (or accentuate) a zesty meal. Our suggestion: Bring along a sixer of Heavy Seas Red Sky at Night if its in season. This Belgian-style saison ale has enough complexity to complement your dinners spice without overpowering it. For dessert, any of the seasonal Mutiny Fleet series of 22 oz. offerings are ideal. Lagers Pub

NEXT MONTH: SAN DIEGO

2522 Fait Ave., Baltimore, (410) 342-3100 Southern-Style American, Pub Grub

As much as Baltimore hates to admit it, its a Southern city. What Baltimore isnt afraid to admit is that its a city that knows good crabmeat. Rested in the upscale Canton neighborhood, Lagers Pub simply does Mobtown food better. Were talkin cream of crab soup, crab dip, crab pretzel. Lagers provides plenty of quality for those who arent into mixing beer with the spice of places like Havana Road with a menu of traditional pub-style selections balanced with soul food. For the full experience, order the shrimp sub. You wont be disappointed. While Lagers has a lively bar scene, our recommendation that is you relocate the date to your place with a little take-out but not before a stop at a local liquor store. Our suggestion: Raven Beer all the way. Comparable to Heavy Seas Mrzen, this malty amber lager is built for burgers and pub eats. For anything crab-based, Heavy Seas Classic Lager is a worthy substitute.

Join us next month for a special edition of Brew Spotlight as we head to San Diego to sample microbreweries Stone and Ballast Point. As a bonus, future Hall-of-Fame linebacker Junior Seau will escort us through the city, including a stop at his eponymous happy hour hotspot for what promises to be a legendary edition.

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GARY NEAL
TO T H E L I N E

Gary Neals resume reads like that of a man who owes a lot to second chances. He played college ball at two schools and bounced around Europe before catching on as a 26-year-old rookie for the San Antonio Spurs. But Neal doesnt see it that way...

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I dont like to say second chance because second chance means something went wrong, he said. For a second chance, you have to be eliminated. I wasnt eliminated from anything. If he wasnt eliminated, he certainly came close. But now in his first NBA season, Neal has come off the bench and helped the Spurs to the leagues best record, earning a spot on the Rookie squad for the Rookie-Sophomore Game during the NBAs All-Star Weekend. Neal scored 20 points as the Rookies upset the Sophomores 148-140, though former Kentucky stars John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins took the headlines. But those players were groomed as stars in their one season at Kentucky. Neal isnt that kind of rookie.

the nation in scoring his senior year with 25 points per game. He shot the ball poorly at the 2007 Portsmouth (Va.) Invitational Tournament, a four-day pre-draft tournament involving the nations top 64 seniors, which represented Neals best chance to catch on with an NBA team. He had private workouts with a few teams, including the Wizards and Celtics, but went undrafted. At one workout, Celtics executive Leo Papile told Neals agent, David Bauman, that Gary would be an instant-offense type guy off the bench in the NBA. Thats what hes been for the Spurs, Bauman said. Before Papiles prophecy could come true, Neal had to shed the stigma of his past to catch on in Europe. Bauman was sur-

He plays more like a seasoned vet, said teammate Matt Bonner after Neal scored 16 points in a 118-94 rout of the Wizards in February. That seasoning came on a path to the NBA which was neither traditional nor ideal. He enjoyed his time overseas, playing on four teams in three countries, but always strove for the NBA. I wish I just never had to go over there, Neal said. I wish I could have just gone right to the NBA, but everything happens for a reason. I tried to make the best of it. Neal was realistic about getting a chance to play in the NBA right out of Towson University, despite finishing fourth in

prised how difficult it was to get Neal that first job overseas. European coaches who didnt know Neal took to the internet. A search of his name called up reports of the scandal that chased Neal from La Salle University, where he was the leading scorer for two seasons and the 2003 Atlantic-10 Rookie of the Year. In the summer of 2004, Neal was accused of sexually assaulting a female counselor after a night of drinking at a summer basketball camp in Philadelphia. He was acquitted, but the label that comes with such a trial was hard to shed. Ultimately, he took a humbling deal worth around $55,000 with small Turkish club Pinar Karsiyaka. Neal averaged 23.6

points in 19 games in Turkey, enough to warrant a big-money transfer to European giant Barcelona. Neal played well in a limited role for Barcelona, and the following summer, signed a two-year deal with Italian powerhouse Benetton Treviso that increased his initial European salary tenfold. He averaged 16.8 points in two seasons in Italy. European basketball paid the bills, but Neal said he always wanted to play in America. He got that chance in July when the Spurs invited him to play for their Summer League team in Las Vegas. Most players of Neals European pedigree would turn down such an offer, which was essentially just a tryout. According to his agent, Neal already had offers for this season from Israeli giants Maccabi Tel Aviv, as well as a team in Moscow and several in Spain. Instead of taking more money in Europe, Neal embraced the chance to prove himself here. In five games, he averaged 16 points and made 17 of 34 3-point attempts. On July 22, four days after scoring 25 points in the Summer League finale, he signed a three-year deal for just over the league minimum of $472,500, a pay cut in relation to his expected European haul. General Manager R.C. Buford said that any discussions about Neals past would stay internal, but the Spurs, steeped in tradition and family values, were satisfied that Neal would fit in both on and off the court. He immediately began working with the veteran-laden team in San Antonio and by training camp, was already comfortable with the how the Spurs operated. Neal has come off the bench for the Spurs this season, averaging 9.8 points and just over 21 minutes per game and utilizing what former Towson coach Pat Kennedy believes is his biggest strength. His work ethic was always there, especially with shooting, Kennedy said. I told him he could become a Reggie Miller-like shooter who can knock it down automatically, and if he learned how to handle the ball without turning it over and defend better, he could be a great player. Kennedy said Neal was back in the Towson gym every day during the summer while he was home from Europe. He spent three or four hours every day working on his game, said Kennedy. Hes [in the NBA] because he was determined to get there.

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Neal is grateful for the chance to play for Towson, where he took out loans and enrolled himself until the criminal case was settled. It was a great opportunity for me, said Neal. I owe Towson a lot. Its part of the reason Im in the NBA. As far as opportunities go, Neal has a habit of making the most of them. It was an opportunity to get into the NBA and do well, and hes taken advantage of it, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich said. We liked him when we brought him in for workouts and put him on our summer league team, but you dont really know whats going to happen when the lights go on. Hes served himself proud. Popovich wasnt as kind when talking about Neals defense, but acknowledged they were working hard on it. Hes receiving constructive criticism minute-by-minute, and slowly understanding that playing a complete game is important, Popovich said. The good part is that hes intelligent and willing. The ever-acerbic Popovich isnt letting up on Neal, who believes his experience overseas helped mentally prepare him for that. Neal said: Im 26 years old. Ive played three years professionally, and that makes it easier to deal with a coach like Coach Popovich. Hes a great coach, but hes extremely direct and he tells you exactly what he wants to tell you. Being a 26-year-old man instead of a 20-year-old kid makes you better prepared to deal with a coach like that. Given his track record, those who know Neal arent surprised by what hes done, from leading Aberdeen High School to a state championship in his junior year to becoming the third player in NCAA history to score 1,000 points at two different schools. Gary has always had success, his brother Gabriel, who was among 75 of Neals friends and family at the game in Washington, said. Nobody outside the family really expected Gary to be as successful as he was. I felt if he had the opportunity, hed be successful. Neal said he still feels the need to prove himself on a nightly basis, but overall, hes happy with his first NBA role. Im getting 20 minutes a night, I have the green light on offense, and other than that, Coach Pop just wants me to play defense, he said. Being a rookie in the NBA, I couldnt ask for anything more.

THE BEATEN P ATH


Not everyone takes a 4-year detour through Europe after four seasons in college before they make their mark on the NBA. The cream of this years NBA rookie crop featured four players who spent just one season at the University of Kentucky before going pro. JOHN W ALL Selected first overall by the Washington Wizards, Wall, a 6-foot-4 point guard fought through injuries and was the lone bright spot on a team thats destined for another high draft pick. In 69 games this season, Wall averaged 16.4 points on 40 percent shooting while averaging 8.3 assists per game, good for seventh in the league and tops among all rookies. DAMARCUS COUSINS Sacramento took the 6-foot-11 forward with the fifth overall pick and received a mixed bag of a results from the enigmatic forward. Cousins gave the Kings over 14 points and eight rebounds per game, but was fined in February for a post-game fight with a teammate Donte Greene. He overcame durability concerns to play in all but one of Sacramentos games this season. ERIC BLEDSOE Playing in the shadow of teammate Blake Griffin, who was selected first overall last season but didnt play due to a knee injury, Bledsoe is giving the Clippers quality minutes off the bench in his first season. The 18th overall pick saw his minutes drop since the team acquired guard Mo Williams from Cleveland, but averaged just under seven points per game for the much-improved Clippers. DANIEL ORTON Some players, despite their major-college pedigree, do need seasoning before they can star in the pros. Selected 29th by Orlando, Orton spent the season playing for New Mexico of NBA Development League and has yet to debut in the NBA for the Magic.

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HOME-ICE ADV ANTAGE?

FORECHECKING
THE ROAD TO SUCCESS FOR AMERICAN-BORN HOPEFULS IN CANADAS NATIONAL PASTIME
I met Brandon Barry at a time in our lives when we both still believed we had a shot. Everyone did back then. We were young, we were standouts and we had no idea how daunting the road ahead was. I met J.D. Craig and Steve Lucchetti several years later when, although we never said it, the dream was beginning to fade. When youre a kid thats just how the world is. Things seem to follow one predictable track you play at the top of your team and you stay there until the scouts take notice. Cut and dry. We learned quickly that this was not always the case. number of thriving Americans is dwarfed by the number of successful players of other nationalities, predominately Canadians. Most NHL prospects are scouted either from the Canadian junior leagues or the NCAA. Brandon and I were two of the thousands of children who got into hockey in Massachusetts. There were millions more in the Midwest and, at the time, the California market for young talent was taking on its first boom. We were not special but we sure as hell thought we might be. At first being the best kid on my town team was all that mattered said Barry. Then trying to be the best in our program, then in our division. In my mind, I would play in the NHL no questions asked. he added. That was the mentality we were brought up in. Coached by our fathers (like many young hopefuls), there was no reason to think this wasnt possible. Take the example of the 2007 Medicine Hat Tigers (OHL) and the Czech national junior team used by Malcolm Gladwell in his 2009 book, Outliers: the Story of Success. Gladwell proposed that, since nearly all the players on both teams were born close to the cut-off date for their age groups, the players were put in an advantageous position. As children, a few months could make a big difference. The elder players were larger than the others, more physically confident and therefore were selected to more all-star teams, received more practice time, had access to better coaches and, over time, developed superior skills than their former peers. This gave those players an exponentially better chance of being selected for their countrys junior team or drafted into the OHL. What Gladwell notices, in effect, is that being the best means having special attention focused on you and a wider spectrum of opportunity. But while this argumentation is provoking, and, for its own purposes, adequate, what Gladwell neglects is the fact that, for all of these players, the journey was not yet complete. Of the 46 players used in Gladwells study, only eight have seen any playing time in the NHL. Of those eight only two (Darren Helm, Detroit Red Wings and Ondrej Pavelec, Atlanta Thrashers) are in a position to develop into high-profile talents. It is a long, excruciating and unforgiving road to the NHL and this fact is often neglected. Barry and I certainly neglected it. I met Steven Lucchetti around the same time in high school. We had both eyed Xaverian Brothers High School a highly competitive Massachusetts parochial school with hockey in its blood. He was a short and brazen kid with rich Italian features who hid his quick hands and stooped agility well enough to surprise opponents every time. I thought hed be marking up scouting reports by sophomore year. A product of the successful Metro Boston Hokey League (now defunct), he was a perennial point leader throughout his four years at Xaverian garnering Boston Herald All-Scholastic team and All Catholic Conference honors, and served as captain his senior year. Barry was similarly talented. From our peewee beginnings, he was playing above the level of everyone else on the ice. He had the finesse to propel him to topline consideration from the first practice. This was true during his time Xaverian as well. Barry ended up transferring to Middlesex, a more puck-focused boarding school in Massachusettss prestigious Independent School League (ISL) and repeating his sophomore year to gain a competitive edge (age, Mr. Gladwell). This is just the way it goes. Colleges, especially D-I, want the oldest kids possibleThere are so many kids out there playing and so many strong players, sometimes the only difference is age, said Barry. For many this compensation comes in the form of a post-grad year. ISL schools and many other private institutions like Middlesex offer a fifth year for students looking to set themselves above the pack. It becomes a necessary precursor to declaring for the draft, whether the extra year comes at a charter school or

BARRY CELEBRATES A CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP AT MIDDLESEX IN 2009.

There are 60 NCAA Division I programs in the United States (Penn State will be the 61st once the finish the transition to D-I). Only about 16 are competitive enough to be scouted heavily. Each carries, on average, 25 players most of whom are American. What this means is that, at most, there can be 400 Americans on the NHLs radar coming from the NCAA per year. Its not like the NBA or NFL either. Players dont get scouted as freshmen in high school. The NHL recruits mainly from three Canadian junior leagues the Ontario Hockey League (OHL), the Western Hockey League (WHL) and the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League (QMJHL). Of these 60 teams, only five represent American states. In these leagues, the

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in a junior league like the OHL, WHL or QMJHL. One year can turn into five. The average age of players entering D-I programs is 20, two years above the average for regular students, and players often red shirt for a year or two in addition. Its a savage system that creates a conundrum in players looking to continue in the sport without hedging their futures. I didnt feel comfortable transferring, leaving my friends and repeating a class year all for hockey said Lucchetti, who declined a spot at an ISL school after his sophomore year. He did a post-grad year with junior club the Walpole Express. It was at this point that he realized what he was getting into. In football and basketball you go to high school and play, go to college to play for one-three years and then get drafted. In hockey you can stay inhigh schoolpublic, private, or prepor go to juniorslocally, outside your state or internationallythen either directly get drafted or go to college. No one can agree on the best way to go to the NHL. Another transfer from our class at Xaverian was J.D. Craig a big-bodied power forward with a heavy shot and a legacy to uphold. His father, Jim Craig, was the hero in the United States storied victory over the USSR in the 1980 gold medal game at Lake Placid. Jim, who went on to a meager 3-year career in the NHL following his upstanding Olympic performance, had J.D. on skates at an early age. He faced the highest expectations on our team. He ended up transferring to a public school his junior year where he captained, playing a year at Loomis Chaffee and going D-I the only player of our four years who did so. Craig played intermittently at UMass Lowell (who name Ron Hainsey, Atlanta Thrashers, and Dwayne Roloson, Tampa Bay Lighting, among their alumni) before transferring due to low ice time. He no longer plays at the D-I level. Barry was never recruited successfully. He played at the club level at Franklin and Marshall College before transferring to Florida Gulf Coast University and giving up the commitment to their hockey club. Lucchetti, despite looks from Yale and Holy Cross, never made it to D-I and ended up playing at Hamilton College a D-III school. He is currently studying

abroad in Rome and has contemplated forgoing his senior season to focus on academics. For all of us, this was the process. We began as big fish in small ponds and gradually underwent the process of curbing our expectations. In the end, the game got the best of us all and the outside world slowly crept in. I would say next to soccer, hockey is the most played American sport the world over Lucchetti said, To get into the NHL you are not only competing with all of the players in the United States, you are competing with players

CRAIG DURING HIS TENURE AS CAPTAIN AT OLIVER AMES (EASTON, MASS.)

the world over. In fact, most of the players in the NHL are from foreign countries. His speculation is dead on. More than 51 percent of active NHLers are Canadian, 27 percent are European and only around 20 percent are Americanborn. The NFL and NBA dont even offer statistics on this spread. Americans are automatically put at a disadvantage from the moment they put on skates. Every year, more and more Canadian and European players are making their way onto NCAA rosters, compounding the issue. Those who make it to the show with U.S. credentials are truly special talents even if there is a whole population who mistakenly believes this from the get-go. I think that because most people dont follow hockey as much they dont understand how difficult it is to get into the league. Barry said, Never mind, the NHL but even college, where there are less programs at the NCAA level than any

of the other major professional sports. For a sport that has fallen out of ESPNs good graces, hockey is misunderstood as a whole by the American people. Despite Gladwells best efforts, his analysis succumbs to this trend and he comes a few details short of a full explanation. My club coach had a peculiar mechanism for motivating us. Since the games we played then constituted our last years in competitive play, he would tell us after this, youre only playing for the beers in the parking lot. What he didnt realize is that we were done playing for trophies at this point. Hockey is, for those who play a fraternity of sorts. It is a secret society, complete with its own lexicon, that the general populace (by virtue of the sports esotericism in the States) isnt familiar with. Mens leagues are a hugely popular destination for hashed hockey dreams because the game is its own reward. My new goal became to play in college and play as long as I could and as long as it remained fun for me. I feel fine knowing that hockey is not going to be my profession. Lucchetti said, candidly, More than half of my life has been spent in a rink, so the sport will stay with me forever. Undoubtedly, we will all go on to have children who will be pushing milk crates across rinks by the time theyre walking. Barry and Lucchetti both admit it. Its the nature of the beast. Undoubtedly, these kids will all have fantasies of playing for their hometown team. For them, the track may be more fruitful a paradigm shift in the NHL is feasible but that may just be more hopeful thinking. All our minor successes are now contextualized. Relegated to the role of mere hockey fans, we sit back and admire the sport in the same way that made us want to get involved to begin with. We try not to be bitter. For Barry, this means pursing the career in marine biology he has targeted since high school. Though hes still weighing his options with Hamiltons team, Lucchetti is pursuing another lifelong ambition: music. Craig takes it one day at a time, still feeling out options as his professional ambitions have only recently dried up. For us, life goes on. But it does so with a

BACKCHECKING
Drafted second overall in the 2007 NHL Entry Draft by the Philadelphia Flyers, New Jersey native James van Riemsdyk has a different perspective on the process. He has been a unique success story in his own right but, overall, he has been part of a trend. In 2006, the St. Louis Blues drafted Minnesotan Erik Johnson first overall. The next year, the Chicago Blackhawks followed suit, drafting Buffalo-native Patrick Kane, marking the first time two Americans had been selected with the top pick in consecutive years. When the Flyers picked van Riemsdyk, it was the first time two successive Americans had been drafted as high. Since then, the percent of Americans drafted has risen steadily. Moving to Ann Arbor, Mich., after his sophomore year in high school, van Riemsdyk took advantage of his latent skill and moved into the successful U.S. National Team Development Program (NTDP) a program that produced talents like Phil Kessel, Jimmy Howard, Ryan Suter, Kane and Johnson. I wanted to be the best player I could become andI thought that going to the NTDP was the best way for me to accomplish [that]. he said in an email. For him, the process was simple intuitive even. It was about raw talent, achievement and natural process the myth Gladwell works hard to dispel. I dont think nationality has much to do with making it into the NHL. he said, If you can play, they will find you. However, he did still agree that the NCAA is, most often, the route hopefuls seek to fulfill this dream in the States. From there, its basically cut and dry. I think some may have lost the desire, dedication and passion along the way. It has to be something youre committed to every moment of your life. Although van Riemsdyks firsthand shot at success seems like a preordained call to destiny, he does admit his own agency in the process. It was his hard work in conjunction with natural skill that made him the NHL breakout he is today. Clearly, there is something more at work. Something he, as opposed to many American sports fans, understands well.

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C L A S S I C A L LY T R A I N E D
Whether grilled, steamed or boiled, franks are an American tradition and these hot dog hot spots have a knack for just that.
PINKS HOLL YWOOD, CALIF. Forget about the generations and generations of stars whose pictures line the walls. Its the wieners that have made Pinks, located on the corner of Melrose and La Brea, a Hollywood fixture since 1939. Famous for their chili dogs, Pinks has bucked the low-fat Los Angeles trend and expanded their menu to include dozens of creative dogs with sky-high cholesterol levels. Perhaps most impressive (if not most unhealthy) is the pastrami burrito, which is two hot dogs, grilled pastrami, Swiss cheese and chili wrapped in a flour tortilla. GLENWOOD DRIVE-IN HAMDEN, CONN. The Yale crowd regularly migrates up Route 10 to this old-fashioned drive-in, where the menu hasnt changed in years. The line extends from the counter all the way to the door, but customers are immediately greeted by a waiter, whao screams their order across the long, thin restaurant. Chaotic, but effective. Their grilled hot dogs are top notch, but dont sleep on their seaafood menu, which includes clam strips, lobster rolls and fried shrimp. POLOCK JOHNNYS BALTIMORE A Baltimore fixture, Polock Johnnys has been serving up snappy polish sausages with their famous The Works sauce since 1921. The sauce, a spicy tomato relish that goes well with nacho cheese (and really, what doesnt), is available by the gallon to take home. They currently have three locations in the Charm City area, including the original location on Washington Blvd. JIMMY BUFFS NEW ARK, N.J. With six locations across New Jersey, Jimmy Buff s serves up Italian hot dogs that are more than a formidable meal. A hot dog, sauted onions and peppers are stuffed into a quarter of a large Italian roll, and theres no need to accompany it with fries fried potatoes top the dog off. And if youre, ambitious, make it a double. NATHANS FAMOUS CONEY ISLAND, N.Y. Nathans certainly doesnt have public opinion on their side. Every Fourth of July, the nation watches hundreds of Nathans wieners get inhaled by the worlds best eaters. Anyone whos stopped on the Jersey Turnpike has succumbed to the pressure of an over-priced, mediocre rest-stop dog. But dont let that ruin the original Nathans Famous on Coney Island. When you take the time to enjoy them (with a little spicy brown mustard, of course) ol Nates wieners arent so bad at all.

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PERFECT TEETH
Derrick C. Browns poem Pleased to Meet You Yellow, My Name is Blue contains a reference to floating blueberries. One time, after a reading in Laguna Beach, Calif., a woman approached Brown and informed him that, from her experience working on a Wisconsin farm, blueberries dont actually float. He then curtly responded, Well, to tell you the truth, I dont actually float over the Pacific when I am sad. He still, to this day, has not changed the poem. Cool, gentle and elderly wry; Dr. Murphy was what I always imagined God looked like. His bifocals bulbed his eyes out comically and his long face always held a grin. During my examinations, he chewed dental gum with a sideways gait the way a cow chews cud and peered at my molars with his magnified eyes. As a child, the oaky smell of his cologne and his blackened Dorchester accent did not confront me but welcomed me. I never understood why other kids, outside of having to miss a generous chunk of Saturday morning cartoons, protested the dentist so much. His office was nautically themed, with brass portholes for clocks. It sat in the basement of his house on the edge of a strip mall. Dr. Murphy was a fisherman and he hung a prize striped bass in his waiting room, complete with a pair of dentures (he claimed it had been caught that way) and the wall paper had maps of the Massachusetts Bay Colonys waterways printed on it. He was full of stories about tuna and riptides and wicked storms past the breakers. He shared his legends with my mother while his wife laughed knowingly from behind her desk, neither one of them believing his fish stories but both knowing that this was just part of the routine. It never seemed like he had any other patients. He was, in effect, our dentist. In 2009, the ADA reported that tooth decay is the most chronic illness facing children in America five times more common than asthma. According to an update in the Center for Disease Controls Healthy People 2010 update, more than half of American children experience tooth decay and cavities by the time they learn about Columbuss expedition to America. The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research found that, in adolescents, this problem is only worse; reporting that 59 percent of children aged 12-to-19 experience cavities in their permanent teeth. These problems are often linked to diet, personal hygiene, quality of dental care and, as recent ADA studies have shown, obesity. I never had a cavity. Dr. Murphy used annual fluoride treatments and a thorough polishing with a tasteless red paste every six months to make sure of it. On the days I fussed, he let me simply brush my teeth instead polishing my molars with the crumbly red paste that made my toes curl. The toothbrushes in his office were stiff and longbristled like wire brushes. They made my gums bleed. He said this was nothing to worry about. My gums always bled when I brushed and he noted it in his file, smiled with gum stuck between his jaws and handed me a penny. Every examination ended with the same reward: a penny. It was a simple token, but something built out of trust. Id hold the penny tight in my palm as he led me to the back. There, he had a vending machine one he had purportedly built himself full of little plastic bubbles that held simple treasures, like the ones that called for quarters at the end of supermarket check-outs. I dont recall ever getting anything of substantial value from the machine, usually I got something like a spider ring or one of those jellied hands that you could slap against car windows, but that wasnt really the point. Over the years, in all my twice-annual appointments, it was this way. My parents would take my brother Jeff and I to Dr. Murphys office on some random Saturday that we would not be forewarned about and I would play with the cars in between the file cabinets while Jeff got his teeth cleaned. Sometimes I read Highlights, sometimes I napped and, when Jeff was done it was my turn. Eventually, Evan and Jason were born and the waits in the office go longer and it was them who played between the filing cabinets but the result was always the same: no cavities. If I had one thing, I had perfect teeth. This was the 1990s. This was the age of fluoridated water supplies something my root-canaled parents had never had. This was the age of enamel-enforced toothpaste, Dentyne and of calcium supplements. This was the age of floss-championing dental hygienists. In fact, this was the age that saw the term dental hygienist become a household phrase. Teeth were at an all-time importance factor for the nation but the problem persisted. Most kids were still reporting high numbers of dental problems despite all the chemicals and treatments. Most kids, except for me. By the time I was old enough to know that Columbus didnt discover America, things were on the verge of changing. Sitting in the chair after one particularly close dental inspection, I watched as Dr. Murphy slid his bifocals down his nose, revealing his truly small eyes, to speak to my mother. Peering over my shoulder from the chair, I was able to overhear the words cross-bite emanate clearly from his lips. I shivered. I inspected my teeth with a finger and my tongue. I adjusted my bite to make it look as though everything jut just as perfectly as it should but, when Dr. Murphy came back over to the chair with my mother and adjusted my bite to a natural position, it became clear. Heads were nodded. Dr. Murphy gave her a business card for a friend of his. Dr. Machaud was also old but was much less genteel than Dr. Murphy. He had a maniacs strong hand and used it often carelessly. His nose hair tufted out like the backs of two burrowing hedgehogs, distracting me on almost every visit. Baldheaded and thick-browed, he was a sight to see from a low, reversed angle. He outfitted me with my palette expander and, later, braces and did his best to make sure I didnt fiddle too much with the wires. In a short 18 months, he would never see me again. Evidently, the problem wasnt too bad. I had friends bur-

dened with braces for four-six years. I rationalized that, to some degree, Dr. Murphy was probably just doing an old friend a favor sending some money his way to make an innocuous adjustment. It was part of the old boys club rules of mouth doctors, I reasoned. In lieu of all this, my flirtation with bracketed teeth seemed like a forgivable flirtation and I gave myself a mulligan. Around 80 percent of adolescents have some form of orthodontic treatment in their teen years. Most of these cases have something to do with malocclusion an off or bad bite. It takes, on average, two years to correct this with braces. Some children can have braces for upwards for six years and, in some instances, children require a second orthodontic treatment to fully fix the problem. Problems may also reoccur in adulthood. Certainly, this was a forgivable major-

perspective. I was simply writing my chapter. It was not until Dr. Murphy retired that I realized his role in editing the legend. Dr. Murphy, a man of legends himself, put down his pencil-sized mirror and took off his last pair of latex gloves in 2010, much to the surprise of really no one. He must have been north of 80 by this point and his arthritis was starting to flare after every patient (that is to say, all four of us). So, when he decided to sell his office and dedicate his life to fishing again, we all just nodded and picked up the phonebook. I walked into Dr. Rizkallas office by myself. By this point, I was 20 and already confident in my dental fortitude. I filled out the proper paperwork and took a seat. Her waiting room had a television and Time. I looked around for a Highlights out of novelty but there were none to be found. Tap-

held to her face by a pair of pink glasses. Soon I realized why she would need this. As she began her cleaning, she scraped angrily. She took her tiny steel hook and jammed it under my gum line as I jerked away. Do your gums bleed when you brush? she asked. Yeah. They also bleed when theyre stabbed. Then she showed me her hook, cached with black gunk she had retrieved from my mouth. You need to brush your gum line more or otherwise this stuff will build up. Then your gums get inflamed and bleed when you brush. It looks like you havent had a cleaning in two years. It had been six months since Id seen Dr. Murphy. She plumbed more and more and I bled, spit, rinsed and bled. There was

DO YOUR GUMS BLEED WHEN YOU BRUSH? SHE ASKED. YEAH. they Also BleeD When theyre stABBeD.
ity to be in. Perhaps my teeth were only immaculate on the enamel level. Well constituted, yet misaligned. Besides, after my bracketed stint, no one would ever know I had braces to begin with. High school was a blank page. I would tell them my teeth grew straight naturally and they would have no reason to suspect otherwise. Every appointment from then on was business as usual. It wasnt that I assumed I had better teeth than everyone. Mine were not particularly sparkling white and my front teeth inched a little too close to my lower jaw for my liking, but the prestige of breaking the dental curve was addicting. Other kids showed off gold caps and splotches in a yawn. This was the story I told because I liked the way it sounded. I liked the way it positioned me with some intangible quirk that others desired, even if it was on such a small scale. This was my one spectacular gem. I had done something right, which was not a conscious effort. I did not chew dental gum. Im sure the water in my town was fluoridated but that didnt explain everyone elses imperfections. I must have simply had some genetic fortification that made my teeth impervious to decay. It was a nice story to tell and it always gaped a jaw or two. It has always been the business of Americans to write revisionist history with a first-person ping on my knees, I waited. Eventually, Dr. Rizkalla came out and met me in the waiting room. She was a short, bob-haired woman in full scrubs. She seemed well mannered and pleasant. She was not as old as the dentist I was used to. She led me back to an x-ray machine. I looked at it curiously, not knowing what it was at first. Then she picked up a lead vest and instructed me to slip it over my head and bite the plastic mouth guard in the middle of the machines orbiting arm. I did so and she left the room. The machine came alive with a whirr and the arm began orbiting around my head, flashing a green eerie light. I wasnt exactly sure what had happened, this machine was not a part of Dr. Murphys standard operation. Afterward I got in the chair. The room was full of buzzing screens and lights. Once, while Dr. Murphy was chatting with my mother, I fiddled with the tools on his tray but they were all mandible and simple. One shot out a clear stream of water (I think it was water) so I recoiled quick but I would never play such a game here. In this new office, everything looked like it had fingerprint identification technology. I was too afraid of alarms to explore Dr. Rizkallas tray. The cleaning began. I laughed to myself because Dr. Rizkalla was wearing a welders mask of sorts, one with a clear plastic front no penny after all this. I walked out of the office resentful. I asked my mom to change dentists to someone less barbaric. Part of me though couldnt forgive Dr. Murphy. Perhaps he never misled me on purpose but, behind his bifocals and deep accent, he had betrayed me. He had cultivated a lie I had been only too proud to live. Now, in his absence, the harsh cynical reality was setting in: there is no such thing as perfect teeth. I met with Dr. Rizkalla again six months later. She scraped and tortured again. I bled. This was why children hated dentists. Story confirmed. I was doing better though. She suggested rinsing with salt water. Then, in a truly crude movement, she jammed her hook into my right rear molar. I felt a surge of pain, like being jabbed with a tire iron in an open wound. A ha! Looks like you got a little cavity here. She pulled off her gloves and went to the sink. Make an appointment with the oral surgeon after you rinse. Im sure hell be able to see you tomorrow. Quick procedure, wont take more than fifteen minutes. I frowned, unclipped my bib and walked out of her office. I still, to this day, have not gotten it C filled.

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WHEN CAN I TURN 5 AGAIN?


Not once did I ever think I could obsess this much over lint. As a child, my fears held a certain weighta machismo, if you willto them. Spiders and snakes made me wriggle and squirm almost as well as snakes themselves. Ghosts and the bogeyman prompted many instances of checking and re-checking closets and empty spaces underneath beds, often to the chuckle of my parents. Above all, the imminent threat of a mothers scream should I break a lamp while playing ball inside the living room hung a cloud over my head, one even darker than the night skies I ran through during games of flashlight tag with my friends. Childhood was the heyday, so to speak, for fearing everything but fear itself. On this particular day, though, I feared lint. Its funny how life seems to unexpectedly dilute itself as you grow older. I grew phone, or something. Outside, there were birds chirping. Trees swayed with the wind. People were arriving in their cars; old men, old women, girls and boys, fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters had all come to celebrate. It made me nostalgic for my high school prom, seeing the women dressed in purple, blue, and white gowns and the men shifting uncomfortably in their trousers and ties. I pressed on. I forced Tyler to get up he had to be lint-rolled too. Coyle was next. Then Tim, Ethan, Brandon. Their black suits were lint magnets. We need to look good today, and if we dont, then its all my fault. I kept telling myself that. Damn lint. It was a nice distraction. Dan walked in. He was wearing nearly all white: white jacket, white bowtie, white trousers, white shoes. The vest was gold Im rather short, but the girl Im walking up with is shorter than I am. Ill probably look hunched. Checked my pocket again the rings were there. I heard Coyles guitar, and the bodies in front of me started moving. I was breathing heavily. It was dark in the hallway; I couldnt see my shoes, and I wondered whether Id start walking and then trip if my left foot came down accidentally on my right. Thankfully, she took the lead, and I found myself thrust into a sea of bright light. Dan was the sunthere was an aura in the church that seemed to emanate directly from him. This wasnt so bad. I got up to the front of the church and sandwiched myself between Dan and Tyler. Then I felt the eyes. All those pairs of eyes. Sort of like in third grade, when Sister Jean would lock her hawk eyes on me for passing notes in the back of the class. Except this

YOUVE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEim going to cry in Front oF AN ENTIRE CHURCH FULL OF PEOPLE
up always assuming that life would become steadily more exciting as I gained years, experiences, privileges, and responsibilities. Instead, as I was slowly beginning to realize, life evolved in a series of headaches and heartbreaks, each of them vying for the advantage and jockeying for the most influence. Those microscopic white poof balls were my headache today. They clung ferociously to my black pants and my black tailored jacket, refusing to surrender to my dual assault of masking tape and lint roller, regardless of how many times I regrouped and attacked. I didnt nFeed to deal with this, I thoughtI was somber enough. A bright August sunlight peeked through the multi-colored windowpanes. Rays of blue, green, and yellow interlaced on the surface of a black piano in the corner. Pretty, I guess. Coyle was in the background playing a melody on guitar. Tyler was slumped back in a chair messing with his he had to match us. No one really said anything. That is, no one really said anything of substance. We cracked jokes. Something about a pirate and a hookeror something. Shit, manyour shoes. Scuffed. I headed to the mens room at the end of the hall and practically robbed the paper towel dispenser. Just a big clump of brown paper, soaked in hot water and soap. I came back and went to work on Dans shoes. Gotta get these marks out. I got most of the visible stuff. No one should be able to see those scuffs, anyway, hell be so far up toward the front. Dan got lint-rolled as well. I didnt trust the whiteness of his tuxedo. I knew those balls of lint were somewhere, and if I didnt kill them now, they would surface right in the middle of the ceremony. That wouldnt be good for pictures. We headed to the back of the church, and I found my place in the procession. time my face didnt fill up with that tomatored color. I was paleinnocent and pale. Behind me was a railing, an altar, and a boring gray wall. I couldnt escape. Rowsupon rowsupon rowsof eyes. At some point during all this my mom started to cry. I forced myself to keep my eyes glued to the floor, but my body was aching to turn in her direction. I caught my moms glance, her face a twisted, debilitating mixture of smiles and tears. A lump situated itself in the middle of my throat. Did Tyler just sniff? Youve gotta be kidding meIm going to cry in front of an entire church full of people Suddenly I was 16 all over again. Blisters on my middle fingers oozed blood. My stage clothes were soaked in sweatmy white button-down, my black, silk DKNY tie, my tuxedo pants. All of my pores were drowning in a mixture of oils, sweat and saliva. I loved it. We were only three songs

into our set, too. Shit, were playing a good show And nowyep, yep there it is Dans pants are off. Take it all in, boys; take it all in. Dan was joking around. It was the usual. Other people we knew were getting high or making poor, alcohol-induced decisions with ugly girls. But we spent Friday nights making my basement tremor with a mix of bass and over-amplification. Then Tyler would complain about some girl, Id get shafted out of the decent junk food and Dan would settle his sweaty, pants-less body into the good spot on the wrap-around couch. Of course, that was supposed to be my sleeping spot. That ass. Whateverthere was something special about these Friday nights. They were rowdy, misguidedblameless, even Im 17 now, and she dumped me again. I called up Dan. We spent five minutes tearing her apart: shes dumb; shes a waste of time; shes just a stupid girl pulling her nonsense games again. You dont need that, man. I bet you in a couple months shell come crawling back. She never did, but it was nice to hear him say it Andrew? Andrew! The rings? I fished around in my jacket pocket and snatched a hefty silver ring. That was his. Hers was this puny little gold band. I laughedguess thats what happens when you get married at 19. That was wry. I remember choking back tears in the groom room later that night. I wanted to cry, but I didnt. I couldnt. Im the best man, Im the oldest. I convinced myself to be strong, or some variation of that meaningless, empty bullshit youd tell a widow at her husbands funeral. Tyler cried for the two of us anyway: big, lumpy tears welled up in his pouty blue eyes and trickled down his cheeks. I wanted to do that so bad. But I just couldnt.

We were saying goodbyewell, at least, we were trying to say goodbye. My best friend of fiv5 years, and now hes married and moving 2,000 miles away. To Idaho, no less. What the hell is in Idaho? It ate a hole in me. If my insides were a house, then I was having the biggest termite infestation in history. This was worse than heartache. I hated her for that; I hated him for that I was 17 again. Dans telling me about this girl who really wants to date him, but he cant stand her. She calls him a lot, and she always talks to him in school. Heh, poor guy. Haha, man, watch you end up marrying her! Yeah, dude, thatd be crazy. Home was an hour away. I drove with all the windows down that nightI wanted to be cold. When I finally got there, I didnt bother taking my tuxedo pants off. I didnt take anything off, actually. I just collapsed on my wrap-around couch, white buttondown, ti, and all. It was impossible for me to get up now You wanna get the gear outta the car? No way, man. Just leave it til the morning. I was half asleep, slumped on top of a pillow and covered by an old blanket that barely covered my feet. Tyler was talking to this girl on his phone. That kids a whore. I made this half-laugh, half-snore like sound. Dan threw a pillow at him. Then, like usual, Dans pants came off. That kid is way too comfortable in his boxers. You always need to get half naked after a show? My eyes were still closed. Dan gave me the finger: See you in the morning. I think I mightve said something back, but I cant rememberI was already asleep.

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