1.

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

MANDY, mid-20's, stands in front of a mirror, anxiously
trying on clothes. She checks her make-up. Her
roommate LISA watches.

LISA
... video chat?

MANDY
Yeah... tonight. I can't wait to
see him!

LISA
I still think it's weird that you
don't know what he looks like. I
mean, you two have been communicating
for, what... two months?

MANDY
He's just... private. I respect that.
But we have so much in common, Lisa:
We both like Thai food, Harry Potter
and long walks on the beach. He's my
soul mate!

Mandy fixes her hair, overjoyed.


INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Mandy sits at her computer. She clicks the mouse,
stares at the monitor.

The monitor shows an empty room.

Mandy watches, waits anxiously.

MANDY
Bob? Bob... are you there?

Silence. Then...

BOB (O.S.)
Mandy? Um, is that you? I'm...
I'm here!

Mandy stares at the monitor but sees no one.

MANDY
Bob! Uh... where are you? I can't
see you.


2.

BOB
Oh, um... just a minute.

Mandy watches as a white sock rises into view. The sock
has googly eyes. It's a sock puppet.

The sock puppet's mouth opens -- and it speaks.

BOB
Oh, Mandy, you look so beautiful!
I, uh... can you see me now?

Mandy stares at the sock puppet... then suddenly bursts
out laughing.

MANDY
Oh, Bob... you're so funny. Just like
in your emails. That's hilarious!
(pausing)
Okay... now I really wanna see you.
I've been waiting for this moment for
so long!

The sock puppet drops his head, dejected.

BOB
This is what I was afraid of.
This... this is really me, Mandy.

Mandy smiles, waiting for the punchline.

BOB
Oh, wait... I have something to show
you. It's a picture of my family.
My father, mother, brother, sister
and me.

Bob holds up a framed photo of five all-American sock
puppets. The father smokes a pipe. The mother wears an
apron. The sister has thick glasses. The brother wears
a peace button. Bob wears a backwards cap.

Mandy starts to laugh again... but suddenly stops. She
notices a poster in Bob's room -- a movie poster from a
gangster film called Sockfellas. She also sees a
baseball pennant on the wall: the Chicago White Sox.

BOB
I knew this might happen. I bought a
plane ticket. We should meet, Mandy.
I'm coming to see you -- tomorrow.

Mandy gawks at the sock puppet, dumbfounded.




3.

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Mandy picks at her lunch. She looks across the table,
baffled.

Sitting opposite her is BOB the sock puppet. He messily
devours mashed potatoes.

BOB
Mmmm... this is heavenly.

MANDY
But... there's no such thing as...
a sock puppet. I mean, a real living
sock puppet...

Mandy raises the table cloth and looks under the table,
trying to figure it all out.

BOB
We prefer the term Sock American.

Bob sits back and gazes at Mandy.

BOB
You're online pictures don't do you
justice. You are... simply ravishing!
(sighs, shakes head)
I dunno, it's just... I've always felt
there was something missing in my life.
Like I didn't really fit in with... my
kind. I longed for something more.
Then one day I saw a human in a magazine.
I was intrigued. Then I discovered the
human's social media. And then... I
found you -- my dream girl.

Mandy is at a loss.

MANDY
Can you even be with a woman? I mean,
do you have a...

Mandy catches herself, shakes her head.

MANDY
What am I saying?! I'm asking a sock
puppet if he has a penis...

She stands and throws her napkin down, frustrated.

BOB
Mandy, please... Just give me the rest
of the day. Spend time with me. Get to
know me. Just give it a chance.
Please...

4.

MONTAGE

EXT. PARK - DAY

A beautiful day at the park -- lots of people doing
various activities.

A family enjoys a picnic.

A couple paddles in a canoe.

Mandy walks stoically along a trail. She looks down --
way down -- to see Bob happily moseying along beside
her.

Bob notices a turtle alongside the trail. He eyes it
cautiously, fascinated.

A Father and his Little Boy walk down the trail. The
Little Boy pauses, gawks at Bob, his mouth open.


EXT. PARK - DAY

Mandy and Bob toss a frisbee.

Bob catches the frisbee and tosses it back. Mandy
grins, impressed.


EXT. PARK - DAY

Mandy and Bob sit beside the lake, enjoying the scenery.

Mandy takes off her purple socks and dips her feet into
the water. She sets her socks on the ground.

Bob studies the purple socks, intrigued.


EXT. PARK - DAY

Bob encounters a dog on a leash. The dog examines Bob,
sniffs him. Bob growls, the dog barks, Bob flees.


EXT. PARK - DAY

Mandy and Bob play football. Mandy tosses the football
and it crushes Bob.

Bob lays flat out on the ground, woozy. He looks up and
sees two of Mandy. She wipes blood from his nose.




5.

EXT. PARK - DAY

Mandy lays back to catch a few rays. Bob decides to do
the same.

Meanwhile, a PARK MAINTENANCE MAN picks up trash nearby.
He sees Bob on the ground, grabs him and tosses him into
a trash bag.

Mandy opens her eyes, looks around, doesn't see Bob
anywhere. She shrugs.


INT. BAR - NIGHT

Mandy and Bob take to the dance floor.

Bob dances well. Mandy nods, impressed.

Other Dancers watch Bob, admiring his fancy moves. The
Ladies dig him.


INT. BAR - NIGHT

Mandy sits at the bar. Bob rests on a stool beside her,
unable to see over the bar.

Nearby, a SHARP-DRESED MAN notices Mandy. He smiles at
her, struts over to the bar. As he takes a seat beside
her, there's a SCREAM. The Man jumps up, noticing the
squashed sock on the seat, baffled.

Mandy fans Bob, attempting to revive him. Bob staggers,
trying to shake it off.

The world-weary Bartender watches, shakes his head.

END OF MONTAGE


INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mandy and Bob share a milkshake, each using their own
straw. Romantic 1950's music PLAYS on a jukebox. Mandy
attempts to enjoy the moment.

They finish the milkshake and then sit back, gazing at
one another. Mandy manages a smile.

Bob coughs. He coughs some more. The coughing gets
worse, more violent. He can't stop.

Concerned, Mandy comes over and whacks him on the back.
It doesn't help. The concerned Waiter approaches. Two
people at a nearby table look on.

6.

Mandy whacks him again -- and this time Bob hacks up a
big, wet, cottony hairball. The Waiter grimaces. The
couple at the other table are repulsed. Mandy sighs.


EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Mandy and Bob relax on a bench, gazing at the stars.

MANDY
I like you, Bob... I really do. But...
I don't see how this can work. It's
just... you're a sock.

Bob sighs, dejected.

BOB
Please, Mandy, don't give up on me
yet. The day's not over. There's one
more thing...


INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Women's clothing scattered across the floor -- bra,
panties, etc.

Mandy lays in bed staring at the ceiling, her hair
tussled, her mouth agape.

Bob lays on the pillow beside her, a cigarette in his
mouth.

MANDY
That was... unbelievable. I never
knew it could be like that.

Mandy removes the cigarette from his mouth, takes a
drag.

Suddenly Mandy has a thought. She puts the cigarette
away and turns to Bob excitedly.

MANDY
Bob... I wanna spend the rest of my
life with you! I wanna have your
babies... or, er, socks -- or whatever
they turn out to be! It doesn't matter.
I love you!

Mandy leans over and kisses Bob passionately.

Finally Mandy gets up and giddily heads to the bathroom.
She blows Bob a kiss before closing the door.

We hear the SHOWER turned on in the bathroom.

7.

Bob sighs happily.


INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Mandy dries her wet hair with a towel.

She looks at herself in the mirror. She smiles,
trembling with pleasure.


INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mandy springs from the bathroom excitedly.

She sees Bob and a purple sock making out on the bed.
Somehow Mandy's purple sock now has googly eyes. Bob,
meanwhile, has a sock puppet erection.

Bob and the purple sock notice Mandy. They pause --
caught in the act.

Mandy's mouth hangs open. An uneasy silence.

MANDY
Is that my... sock?! But... it didn't
have eyes before. How did...

At a loss, Bob glances at the purple sock... then back
at Mandy.

BOB
Uh... um... would you be interested
in a threesome?


INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

At the table, Mandy and Lisa pick at their dinner.

MANDY
And then they both jumped out the
window... and were gone.

LISA
So that's it? You and Bob are over?

MANDY
Yeah. And now I have just one purple
sock.
(thinking it over)
I really liked those purple socks. I just
never knew that one of them was a slut.

Lisa shakes her head.


8.

LISA
Freaky.

Mandy leans in to her laptop computer, starts typing.

MANDY
At least now I know about Sockbook.

LISA
What?

MANDY
Sockbook. It's a social media site
for Sock Americans.
(studying her monitor)
Surely I can find someone respectable...
someone who can keep it in his sock.

LISA
Wait... what? After all you've went
through, you're actually gonna look
for another sock?

Mandy glances up. She ponders the question,
reminiscing... and then smiles.

MANDY
Trust me: Once you've had a Sock
American, there's no going back.

Mandy grins knowingly, continues typing.

Baffled, Lisa looks across the room at the folded
laundry. She notices the socks. She contemplates this,
curious.

FADE OUT.








THE END