Series: What God Brings Together. Lesson 2: Married Without Gods Consent 1.

It's here, that pivotal moment when you realize your marriage is in trouble. You've been consumed

for days, weeks, months even years with feelings of despair and anguish, asking yourself, almost screaming is this what God meant for my life? You may be wondering is my marriage doomed. Was I supposed to marry this person? Why did I get married? Tonights lesson, Married Without Gods Consent, deals with the big mistakes couples make when they don't consult him in their union and the pitfalls that can result from this. 2. Meditations a) James 1:1-27 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you

know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ... b) Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. ESV Here are some questions I want you to ponder as we go through tonights lesson. 1. Did you and your spouse court or date? 2. Did you attend any form of premarital counseling? 3. What is the biggest thing you need to conquer within your marriage? Please choose an individual goal and a goal as a couple. 1. Marriage was created by God; he blessed the union between Man and Woman in Genesis 1:28. When he made Eve and gifted her to Adam. The act of giving her away to him was God bestowing his sovereign approval of their union. 2. Subdue is a verb which means 'supress, conquer, defeat or overcome'; it can also mean 'restrain, suppress or hold back'; OR 'pacify, calm or soothe' Point to Ponder: Why would one of the first instructions given to man and women be

to subdue the earth and everything in it? 2. The importance of being equally yoked is simply not allowing you to be tempted with things that are not of God. When you marry a person who is not a believer or has different motives of marriage, motives that dont align with Gods vision and purpose you create an atmosphere of chaos which breeds death; of relationships, the soul, and your love for Christ. a). 1 Kings 11:1-6 talks about Solomon and his many wives. Verse 4 says in his old age his heart was turned to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the Lord his God. b. As a reminder; in the context of relationships and marriage, as Christians we must be sure that we are not allowing the fantasy of marriage to mask the vivid truths of a potential mate. Additional reference 1 Corinthians 7:39 and 2 Corinthians 6:14 3. The difference between courting and dating. 2 Peter 2:20 And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before. The world likes to endorse dating but this by far is not the Christian singles playing ground. a). Dating is casual and the stage when you are initially getting to know one another. You are establishing grounds to determine interest and common ground between yourself and another. However, dating should not be a catch all and a habitual rollercoaster of partners with whom you have no tangible connection to. Dating (no matter the length of time) should not be held as a basis for establishing a sexual relationship. This is because of the bond that is created between you and the other person when you do. God intended this act to seal marriage, to make it permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5). b.) Courting ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal. 4. Courting vs. Dating The 3 Ms Motives, Mindset, Methods

a. Difference in Motives When a man is courting you his main motive is to find a spouse. So in his spending time with you, he believes that he sees qualities and potential in you to marry you. The purpose of the courtship is to discern whether that belief is correct. Matthew 24:38; Luke 20:34-35 Talks about the process. It illustrates men marrying women and women being given in a marriage. This suggests that as women we must allow ourselves to be in the posture of submission to our father God. Often times we step in front of him with casual dating and dont give ourselves a chance to be given away to our mate. We give ourselves away When we follow the culture of random dating we treat this process as purely recreational. This process is not meant to be trial and error. It is a breeding ground for sole ties. b. Difference in Mindset How couples see each other as they are interacting. Marriage is selfless. If you are approaching your relationship as I am trying things out, testing the waters to see if I like you more than the last one, or until something better comes along this is selfish. Being consumed with questions like Have I found the one, will they make me happy are all about you. We are to be servants unto our spouses. Mark 10:45 for the son of man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. We are to lay down our selfish desires and seek God in how to serve and care for our spouses. c. Difference in Methods Modern dating and biblical courtship are different in their methods. In modern dating intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship commitment comes first.

Self-Work: Evaluate your Motives, Mindset, and Methods. If you are married, do you
believe the onset of your relationship was that of phased dating or a product of courtship? If you are single, how can you adjust your 3 Ms to align your current or future relationship with Gods vision of marriage?