Session Three / Harvest Baptist Church / Pastor Alan Shelby

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Paradigm for Parenting Ages 13-19

Proverbs 1:8-9
Thesis: In training teenagers, more will be ____________ than taught. Point 1. Taking the time to discipline children __________ in life saves you a lot of grief later on. Point 2. A principle-ized paradigm for raising teenagers is based on the recognition that to perfect your parenting you must ____________ your strategy over time. Point 3. Teenagers should be taught to develop ________ judgment by being allowed to make some of their own judgments. Point 4. Inuence is something only ______ can destroy or alter. THE KEY FACTORS FOR RAISING ADOLESCENTS 1. Teenagers need authority expressed as loving __________________ Small children need training, which means discipline to stay in the right path Older children need nurture and admonition, which is inuence to do the right thing Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Denitions To ______________ your child means to challenge them in such a way that it calls forth a hostile reaction The idea of ______________ is communicating life skills by cultivating a childs mind and morals to correct their mistakes and curb their passions, while the word __________________ implies we love a child enough to warn them and exhort them rather than stand by and ignore them

TIPS ON TRANSITIONING A. ________ your kids B. ___________________ your Bible C. ______ God for guidance THE DIVINE ______________ ON RAISING TEENS Search the scriptures Seek the assistance of the Spirit Respond based on your personal knowledge of how to appeal to your childs conscience Outline Proverbs 1:8-9 I. RECOGNIZE WISDOMS BASIS: REVERENCE FOR GOD, 7 II. RESPOND TO WISDOMS REQUIREMENTS: RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY, 8-9 A. The Command, 8 B. The Cause, 9

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PERFECTINGPARENTING
WHAT WE ARE ASKING YOU TO DO NOW 1. Give your children a safe and secure environment The way you establish children in a secure environment is through constant, consistent and courageous communication about life issues from a biblical frame of reference 2. Train your children to be good citizens You get to this goal by teaching them to submit to authority and preventing them from being unruly 3. Teach your children biblical understanding Educate them in what it takes to be pleasing to God by rst making right decisions, and then secondly developing the discipline to get it done 4. Lead your children to be godly like you Start with the heart, stick to the scriptures, seek the Spirits assistance, and strive for biblical success

Recommended Resources Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change, by Gary R. Collins. Tyndale House: 1995. Communication Skills for Parents http:// parentingteens.about.com/cs/disciplin1/a/ comskills.htm The Five Musts of Intentional Listening, by Jan Pedersen. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/ Pedersen2.html Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, by Paul David Tripp. P & R Publishing, 2001. Shepherding a Childs Heart, by Tedd Tripp, Shepherd Press, 1998. *Note: recommending a resource does not constitute Alans endorsement of everything in the book. Read with discretion, and balance any authors advice against what you are learning in our studies. THE KEY FACTORS FOR RAISING ADOLESCENTS 2. Develop systems that are designed to minimize ________________ 3. Let ______________ provide the discipline 4. Talk about matters of the __________ Point 5. If you are parenting a teenager, you dont have to approve what is popular, but you do have to be __________ of pop culture. Point 6. Whats really involved in a paradigm for parenting older kids is a battle for their __________.

Point 7. Your ________________ is going to get you into more trouble with your teenager than anything else. Point 8. Humility and meekness will breed mutual respect so you can be a ___________ in their struggle, because it is your transparency, honesty and candor that helps your child deal with what they are going through. Conclusion: You have to be the one who is every day and in every way __________ your teens to Christ. Prov 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. WAGING THE WAR FOR YOUR TEENAGER WISELY A. Understand that what is at stake in raising our teens is who and what they ______________ B. Identify potential __________ that seek to take the place of God C. Expect to be shocked, but dont be ______________ D. Deal with your own __________ now
Verbal Door Openers When youre having a conversation with them, throw in phrases like: I want to know what you think What are your friends saying about that? That sounds important to you, tell me about it Thats a good question If you want to know more just ask me Door-Slammers You wont understand If you say that one more time Thats none of your business! I dont care what your friends are doing You dont need to know that Why are you asking me? Dont come to me if you mess up Whatever!

In this important series of studies, we will be perfecting our parenting by discovering the biblical principles of child-rearing. The principles

covered in these studies are especially applicable to young couples and single parents. We will be laying out a vision and talking - Page 2 -

about the stages of growth, the types of parents, and the principles of parenting from the Bible