Biblical'Parenting'

! Problem!of!Parenting! 1.#No#Exemption#from#Struggles,#Job#14:1# :Adam#&#Eve##Gen#3:6D13# :Cain#&#Abel##Gen#4:1D8# :David#&#brothers##1Sam#17:20D29# :Joseph#&#his#family##Genesis#37:2D4# 2.#Root#Cause#is#Sin,#Rom#5:12;#Eccl#7:20# :God#became#involved#to#rectify#the# problem# :God#sent#His#Son#to#sacrificially#die#in#our# place# :We#battle#with#family#because#we#are# battling#within,#and#we#battle#within# because#we#are#at#war#with#God#himself,# James#4:1D2,4# 3.#Four#Options# A.#Hold#it#inthis#leads#to#anxiety,# loneliness,#alienation,#depression# B.#Act#it#outthis#leads#to#substance#abuse,# immoral#lifestyle,#rebellion# C.#Run#awaythis#leads#to#conflict,#low#selfD esteem,#bad#relationships,#suicidal# tendencies# D.#Face#it#to#fix#itthis#involves#repentance,# forgiveness,#cleansing,#rejoicing,#healing# # Process!of!Parenting! 1.#Correct#thinkingby#seeing#things#as#God# sees#them# 2.#Correct#treatmentby#treating#things#as#they# are#seen# 3.#Correct#teachingby#handling#responsibility# 4.#Correct#testimonyby#being#a#role#model# # Priority,#Three#things#necessary#for#us#to#survive# 1.#Knowledge#=#the#facts# 2.#Wisdom#=#how#facts#are#applied#and#used# 3.#Understanding#=#how#God#fits#into#life# # Vision,#Hab#2#(=#finding#a#biblical#lifestyle)# Tower#=#get#it#out#of#the#word#of#God# Watch#=#work#it#out#by#changing#your#self# Write#=#lay#it#out#for#others#to#see# #

Three!Levels!of!Wisdom! 1.#That#which#facilitates#general#life# managementthe#ability#to#successfully# handle#dayDtoDday#living# What#the#world#calls#"common#sense"# 2.#That#which#leads#to#sound#judgmentthe# ability#to#evaluate#the#way#they#(and#others)# are#living.# To#be#able#to#understand#why#one#set#of# choices#would#be#better#than#another# 3.#That#which#produces#spiritual#perception the#ability#to#relate#to#God# # How!Parents!Impart!Wisdom,!Prov!2:1A4! 1.#Dialogue#between#you#and#your#child# 2.#The#example#of#your#own#godly#life# 3.#Communicating#how#you#pray#for#your#child# 4.#Using#circumstances#as#"life#experiments"# which#provide#opportunity#for#you#to#give# feedback#as#they#handle#a#situation# # Four!Overlapping!Stages!of!Growth! 1.#Discipline,#6#mosD2#yrs# 2.#Relationship,#3D12#yrs# 3.#Fellowship,#13D18#yrs# 4.#Responsibility,#18+#yrs# # Six!Absolute!Principles!of!Parenting,#Dt#6:17D25# Kids#rebel#against#HYPOCRISY# 1.#Authorityyou#know#the#truthchild#sees# you#are#responsible# 2.#Accountability#transparentlychild#feels#"I# am#respected"# 3.#Affection#openlychild#feels#"I#am#lovable"# (builds#esteem),#Rom#12:10# 4.#Availability#readilychild#feels#"I#am# important,"#Eph#5:15D16# 5.#Appreciation#regularlychild#feels#"I#am# needed"#(builds#belonging),##1#Thes#3:9# 6.#Acceptance#unconditionallychild#feels#"I#am# secure,"#Rom#15:7# #

1A2.!Establishing!authority!&!accountability! (balanced!truth)! Four!Types!of!Parents!(based!on!how!we! administer!truth)! 1.#Autocraticno#grace# 2.#Permissiveno#discipline# 3.#Neglectfulno#availability# 4.#Relationaleverything#in#balance# So#first:#change#your#self!# # 3A4.!Establishing!affection!and!availability! (balanced!grace)! Five!Supreme!goals#for#the#home:#secure,# peaceful,#stable#(which#involves#balance#and# takes#understanding),#loving,#godly# Affection#displayed#openly#will#build#your# child#inwardly# Fellowship#is#built#through#affection#plus# grace#administered#through#truth# ! 5A6.!Establishing!appreciation!and!acceptance! (more!balanced!grace)! Remember#that#spiritually,#you#grow#through# the#same#four#stages#your#kids#do:# discipline,#relationship,#fellowship,# responsibility# God#does#not#always#approve#us#as#a#servant,# but#he#always#accepts#us#as#a#son#and# appreciates#us#for#our#possibility# # Issues!of!Respect! 1.#Rules#without#relationship#lead#to#rebellion# 2.#Rules#with#relationship#lead#to#respect# People#respond#to#relationships# # How!to!Discipline!Young!Children! Discipline#=#submission#to#authority#&#structure# (if#you#as#the#parent#give#in#or#give#up,#you# havent#disciplined#your#child)# Set#your#head#so#your#heart#knows#how#to#view# discipline,#otherwise#there#is#no#hope# Do#it#with#consistency# Do#it#with#exceptions# Discipline#+#relationship#with#you#forms#their# attitude#toward#right#and#wrong# Goal:#to#get#them#to#take#mature#responsibility# for#godliness#

Condition#your#consistency#with#GodD consciousness#and#sensitivity#to#the#child# Our#model#for#chastisement#=#our#relationship# with#God,#Heb#12:6D14# # Dealing!with!a!strongAwilled!child! Take#advantage#of#your#5D6#year#headDstart# A#strong#will#has#to#be#bent#in#the#right# direction:#toward#Gods#will# # Leading!Kids!to!Christ! 1.#Overcome#your#own#lack#of#faith# 2.#Overcome#your#lack#of#understanding#about# how#the#Holy#Spirit#is#dealing#with#your#child# 3.#Overcome#your#lack#of#patience# Age#of#accountability#=#time#at#which#the#HS#is# dealing#w/your#child#about#sin#and#their# personal#need#of#forgiveness#and#salvation# Til#then,#sin#is#not#laid#to#their#charge#&#Christs# righteousness#is#given#to#them#(Rom#5:13)# # Family!Flaws!that!Provoke!Bitterness! Col$3:21!Fathers,!provoke!not!your!children!to! anger,!lest!they!be!discouraged.! 1.#Overprotectioncommunicates#lack#of#trust# Children#need#some#degree#of#freedom#to#grow# 2.#Overindulgence##too#much#freedom#and#the# child#becomes#insecure#and#unloved# 3.#Favoritismnever#compare#kids#with#each# other#and#dont#withhold#your#love# 4.#Unrealistic#Goalsconstantly#pushing# achievement# 5.#Discouragementconstantly#criticizing#and# focusing#on#their#faults# 6.#Neglectfailing#to#show#affection# Neglect#has#been#said#to#be#the#worst#type#of# child#abuse#because#they#become#resentful# 7.#Condescensionputting#them#down,# laughing#at#them,#talking#down#to#them# 8.#Withdrawing#Lovenever#employ#affection# as#a#tool#of#reward#or#punishment#or# suggest#you#care#less#for#your#child#when#he# misbehaves# 9.#Excessive#Disciplineparents#must#correct#in# love#as#God#does# #