TEENAGERS: BUILDING A GOOD SELF ESTEEM

Having a good self esteem is like medicine to the soul. Self esteem is defined as
feeling that you are someone who deserves to be liked, respected and admired.
Someone whose opinion should be treated with respect, someone who should not
be relegated to the background.

It is so painful that a lot of individuals especially adolescents are lacking in this

aspect. From research, it was discovered that 60% of adolescents have high self
esteem, 15% have low while the remaining 25% are not constant.

In adolscents, changes in self esteem result from changes in peer group, each
of their personal attractiveness or their relationship with their parents. An
adolescent is not complete without his peers, peers are part of growing up for
adolescents, therefore peer group have a lot of influence on the adolescent. If an
adolescent is in a relationship with a group of people who think he is a loser or who
tolerate him then it’s going to be very difficult for him to build a high self esteem.
Whichever way he tries he is always brought down by his so called friends. That I
why adolescents are advised to move with peers who celebrate them not those who
tolerate them.

Furthermore, an adolescent need to accept his or herself the way he is

because he will always be treated only 5% better than he treats himself by
individuals around him. Like a popular speaker as said if you look at yourself in the
mirror and you don’t appreciate what you see you are going to have problems
relating with other people.

The role parents play in building a good self esteem too cannot be
underestimated. There are three kinds of parents;

A .AUTHORITARIAN PARENTS: These are parents who try to shape, control and
evaluate the behavior and attitude of their children in accordance with a set of
standard that come from religious or respected authorities. Children from this type
of home brought up with harsh discipline. Boys from this home grow up becoming
hostile while girls become dependent and easily submissive. Obviously children
from this home are haunted by low self esteem.

B .AUTHORITATIVE PARENTS: Direct their children’s activities in a rational and

intelligent way. They are usually supportive ’loving ’committed. They encourage
verbal give and take and discuss with their children often. Although they could be
demanding at times. Girls from this home are achievement oriented and boys are
friendly and cooperative. These children grow up with the right self esteem.

C .PERMISSIVE PARENTS: are less controlling, non-punishing and they are always
ready to satisfy their children. Although they make few demands on their children in
the area of self esteem. Girls from this type of home are less assertive and the boys
less achievement oriented.
Orija oluwaponmile

07031091996,brownymails@yahoo.com