Getting Out of Kaka by Micah Moses

FADE IN: EXT. LONE ARIZONA HIGHWAY - EARLY MORNING A lone big rig travels down a long stretch of deserted Arizona highway. Moments later it approaches and begins to ascend a gentle hill. The driver gears down, the exhaust coughs, and the truck continues. As the maroon Freight liner crests the small incline, the driver shifts again and the behemoth chugs back up to speed. Out of nowhere a white 1991 Ford Econoline ice cream truck pulls in close behind the rig with its head lights quickly flickering from low to high beam. The engine strains and the tailpipe puffs dirty fumes as the tattered vehicle tries to keep up with the newer model eighteen wheeler. CUT TO: INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK, MOVING - CONTINUOUS Inside the ice cream truck the driver does a one handed fumble with an old cassette tape as he shoves it into the player. He presses play and a very distorted version of the 70's TV show "CHiPS" theme song begins to broadcast through the vehicles single loud speaker. CUT TO: EXT. ARIZONA HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS The rig driver finally notices and begins to slow, then pulls to a stop. The ice cream truck does the same and the theme music cuts off. Both vehicles sit framed against the rising Arizona sun and the engines tick as they begin to cool. CUT TO: INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK - CONTINUOUS The driver picks up the cb microphone and begins speaking in a soft but even tempered voice. He doesn't sound like the thirty something year old Constable that he is, but more like the wise Native American village elder that he'll be someday. CUT TO:

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EXT. ARIZONA HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS Outside of the ice cream truck the conversation is heard through the loud speaker and carries easily across the open desert. PAGAGO Claire this is Constable Pagago. Nothing from dispatch. He key's the mic again. PAGAGO Claire? CLAIRE I hear you Constable but Im getting a heck of a lot of feed back. PAGAGO Oh, hold on. Pagago adjusts the volume and fusses with a couple of switches. PAGAGO ...I still haven't figured out how the loud speaker got wired into the cb radio. CLAIRE Is it still on public broadcast? PAGAGO Yes. CLAIRE Hmmm, try at least talking with the mic away from your mouth. Pagago follows the instruction. PAGAGO Is this better? CLAIRE A little bit. A game show program is heard loudly in the background on Claire's side of the conversation. The audience applause is overpowering.

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PAGAGO Can you tell Francine to turn the television down? I'm picking up a lot of background noise. CLAIRE You still haven't fixed this unit from when the fish tank water dripped on it. The microphone stays open so it picks up everything. PAGAGO I see. Claire can you run a license plate for me? CLAIRE The internet is still down. Shuffling is heard on Claires side as she gets up and moves. PAGAGO I thought Francine was going to fix that last week. CLAIRE She's still mad at you for throwing away her chicken. PAGAGO I see. Her chicken gave me the runs for three days. CLAIRE She didn't have any water to wash her hands and you were supposed to fix her water heater. More shuffling noise from Claire. PAGAGO I see. Can you take down this license plate number and mile marker then? CLAIRE I'm on the toilet now. Pagago considers this. PAGAGO Well, I'm on state route 42, marker 7. I just pulled a big rig over.

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Claire is quiet for a moment. CLAIRE Hmmmm... PAGAGO What is it? CLAIRE ...I started my period. Claire flushes the toilet and the noise carries across the desert. PAGAGO I guess I'll go talk with him then. CLAIRE Ok constable. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS Pagago exits the van, stops and adjusts his hat. He slowly walks the length of the trailer. Its not that hes deliberately taking his time, its just that his stride coincides with the pace of life out here. Pagago stands at the cab and looks up at the driver. He studies the man for a moment. PAGAGO Morning. The older scruffy driver looks curiously down at Pagago. DRIVER Morning, you okay? Pagago pays no attention to the address but instead reaches into a his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. He retrieves a small card, clears his throat and starts to read from it. PAGAGO My name is Constable Byron Pagago and under Tohono O'odham Tribal Counsel law it is my duty as regional Constable to inform you that you have incurred a vehicular infraction on reservation land. (MORE)

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PAGAGO(cont'd) Although I do not carry a white man's metallic badge, I instead carry a wooden badge carved by Malcolm Little River.
He opens his denim jacket to reveal the badge on his chest. PAGAGO And as such it is backed by the full faith and authority of said Tohono O'odham Tribal Counsel and the Arizona Revised Statutes, Title 22, section 131. He lowers the card and looks questioningly to the driver. PAGAGO Do you accept this wooden badge as an extension of the Counsel's authority? The driver isn't quite sure what's going on or how to respond. DRIVER Are you a cop? PAGAGO No, I'm a Constable. Pagago puts the card and wallet away. PAGAGO Do you know why I pulled you over? The driver looks at Pagago, then leans out of his window back toward the van. DRIVER Is that an ice cream truck? Pagago looks at the van also. PAGAGO Yes. Our tribe is low on revenue but it is a Constabulary vehicle. Its a conversion van. DRIVER Oh. PAGAGO Do you know why I pulled you over?

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DRIVER Shoot, I thought you needed help or something. PAGAGO I would appreciate it if you didn't take attitude with me. The driver is surprised. DRIVER I'm not. PAGAGO Sir I paced you doing 38 in a 40 mile per hour zone. DRIVER Excuse me? Pagago continues to quietly study the driver. DRIVER Son, are you serious? I have a full load and I was going up a hill. You stopped me for going 38? There's nobody out here! Pagago looks up and down the highway almost like he's verifying what the driver just said. PAGAGO Sir I realize that you, like most outsiders, think that because you're going thru a reservation somehow our laws do not apply to you. The driver is baffled. DRIVER I never thought that. PAGAGO We're not savages sir. We're a modern people. Pagago exhales.

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PAGAGO And as such I'm going to let you off with a warning this time but remember that we take our laws very seriously here. The driver gives a friendly little laugh then... DRIVER Almost too serious huh? Pagago takes a step back. PAGAGO Sir I warned you about the sarcasm. DRIVER I wasn't being sarcastic. Pagago stares at the driver a moment, then looks down the length of the trailer. PAGAGO Sir your tail light is out. You'll want to get that fixed. DRIVER What're you talking about, all my equipment is working just fine. Pagago rubs his eye. PAGAGO Wait here. Pagago turns and walks the length of the trailer. The driver leans out of the window and watches. CUT TO: EXT. BACK OF BIG RIG - CONTINUOUS Moments later Pagago stops and looks at the tail light. He looks to the driver, then back to the tail light. He takes out his wooden billy club and hits the light. It doesn't break. He moves to the side for a better angle and strikes again. Nothing. He switches the club to his other hand and hits the light again. Still it doesn't break. He pokes inquisitively at it a few more times. Satisfied that he can't break the plastic cover he puts the billy club back and stands there for a second contemplating.

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He turns around and walks back to his van. Pagago opens the door and leans in. CUT TO:

INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK - CONTINUOUS Tools rattle as he digs thru his tool box. CUT TO: EXT. BACK OF BIG RIG - CONTINUOUS A moment later he's back at the tail light with a cordless drill. Zip, zip. He removes both screws and light cover. He reaches in and gingerly plucks out the tiny bulb. Zip, zip, the cover is back on and secured. Pagago again walks the length of the trailer back to the cab. The only sounds are his boots on the pavement. CUT TO: EXT. FRONT OF BIG RIG - CONTINUOUS Pagago places the drill on the large gas tank and climbs up as the driver watches him. Once Pagago is face to face with the driver, he extends his left hand and releases the bulb. It drops and hits the asphalt with a tiny muffled "pop". PAGAGO As I said... your tail light is out. Pagago climbs down, grabs his drill and stands looking up at the driver. Both men are silent. The driver is dumbfounded. The ice cream trucks loudspeaker cracks to life and booms across the desert with Claires voice. CLAIRE Francine can you get a tampon for me? They're in the frigerator. Both Pagago and the driver slowly look to the van.

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PAGAGO That's Claire. FRANCINE What are they doing in there? PAGAGO That's Francine. CLAIRE Moths got into the last pack I had. FRANCINE Didn't you have the cotton ones? For a moment the loud speaker falls silent. CLAIRE Hmmmm, this is going to be a heavy flow. Pagago and the driver continue to stare at the ice cream truck waiting for either Claire or Francine to speak up. Instead, Claire flushes the toilet and it gurgles and churns as both men listen. Finally the men turn back and look at each other. DRIVER Is that all? Pagago looks down and away, thinking for a sec. He absent mindedly kicks a rock then looks back to the driver. PAGAGO Would you like to buy any Rocket Popsicles? DRIVER Excuse me? Pagago tries again. PAGAGO What about a gently used 1987 Moonstruck poster? The driver shakes his head in disbelief then starts the engine. He mumbles to himself as the big rig gears up and begins to lurch forward. A moment later it's down the road, leaving Pagago standing on the deserted highway with his hands in his pockets.

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The desert falls silent again as Pagago turns and saunters back to his van and climbs inside. He sits for a second, then the loud speaker blares to life. PAGAGO Claire this is Constable Pagago. CLAIRE Go ahead constable. Pagago lets out a heavy sigh. PAGAGO I just had a close one. CLAIRE Are you okay? PAGAGO Yes, but it's chaos out here on the open road Claire. A cricket chirps. Then again. PAGAGO What's happening to people today? I don't like living on the edge like this. Constable Pagago drifts off. PAGAGO I liked it when life was quiet simple. DISSOLVE TO:

30 years earlier. EXT. KAKA EL ATLETA DE CRISTO ORPHANAGE - DAY Voiceover as Pagago begins his narration.