Research Paper Assessment

Name: Date: Student ID: Email:

Jeff Anderson 04/17/2012 jeff@your-life-plus.com

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship Jeff Anderson For International Coach Academy

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship

Contents
Abstract ....................................................................................................................... 3 Introduction ................................................................................................................. 4 Causes for Ending the Coaching Relationship............................................................ 4 Handling the Termination ........................................................................................... 5 Bibliography ............................................................................................................... 9

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship Abstract

Coaching relationships can end normally or abruptly, but in all cases the coach should attempt to review the relationship with the client, discuss the reasons for ending the relationship, and help the client perceive the ending as a positive result.

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship

Introduction While much has been written about the coaching relationship in terms of client interaction, coaching tools and developing the relationship, there is little discussion in the literature of terminating the relationship, particularly when the termination is other than that which one might expect in the normal course of events. This paper attempts to bring together that disparate information. Perhaps it would be best to define what we mean by termination. Ryan Howes, in his article Terminating Therapy, Part 1: What, Why, How? states, Termination is clinical jargon for the last phase of therapy. ...In fact, for some its the most profoundly healing, meaningful and transformative phase of therapy. (Howes, 2008) The same is true for the coaching relationship. It is not the abrupt cessation of all contact, but rather the thoughtful, carefully planned summarization of goals achieved, actions remaining to be taken and, finally, a positive parting. Causes for Ending the Coaching Relationship Coaches are aware that although there is always an ebb and flow within the coaching relationship. Inevitably the relationship will have run its course. Ideally, the coaching relationship ends when the client has achieved his goals and both the coach and the client recognize that they are ready for the relationship to end. Sometimes the coaching relationship ends early, or even abruptly. Amongst the variety of reasons could be: The client simply terminates the relationship Either party feels that the relationship is incompatible

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship The coach recognizes that the issues under discussion are beyond the coachs capabilities and a referral to another coach or to a trained professional such as a therapist or marriage counselor is in order

It is important in each of these cases for the coach to handle ending the relationship with skill so that the relationship ends positively, the client feels supported and is able to move on to the next step, and the coachs reputation remains intact.

Handling the Termination In the ideal situation the coach and the client have established goals, defined action steps and executed them, moving forward until the goals are achieved. At that point, both will realize that the reason for the relationship is coming to an end. The end of a coaching assignment is an important event. The more effective the coaching relationship has been the more important the ending is likely to be. (Transition Partnerships, 2005) Ending a relationship can be a difficult transition for many people. It can bring up memories of separation, loss and death but skillfully handled it can be a celebration of goals accomplished. The coach can prepare for ending the coaching relationship by allowing several sessions for discussion of both the coachs and the clients readiness to end the relationship. For some clients, time will need to be spent talking about feelings of loss and separation and fears of moving forward without the coachs support. Time will also be spent reviewing the goals that were set, how the client accomplished them, the progress that was made and the readiness of the client to go forward on his own. During these preliminary ending sessions a date should be set for the last session. The last session is a celebration of all that has been accomplished, a discussion about the clients moving forward in the future and finally saying goodbye. Also at

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship this time the coach may ask or invite the client to check back at some future point. A good coaching relationship with a successful outcome and a skillfully handled ending will hopefully result in future referrals. Unfortunately, some coaching relationships will need to end sooner than expected. Some of the reasons for ending the coaching relationship are; failure to establish a bond of

mutual trust, failure on the part of the client to pay fees, or a lack of progress on the agreed upon goals. Sometimes the presented issue requires professional help beyond the skills a coach has to offer. In spite of a coachs training, skills and experience there are times when a coach will be unable to establish any kind of rapport with the client. If rapport cannot be established a client will not open up and respond to the coaches suggestions. Personal chemistry is vital. It is a significant factor in building trust. (Transition Partnerships, 2005) A coach will spend time talking with the client about the clients issue and relating it to the coachs own experience to establish a sense of shared context. If the coach is unable to establish a bond of trust because of differences in values, attitudes or biases it is best to end the sessions early in the relationship. In other cases a bond of trust has been created and the coaching relationship starts out positively but then the client stops making progress or continually skips sessions or stops paying fees. In these cases the coach can explore the clients reasons and try to address them. If the coach and the client are unable to come to an agreement on how to move forward it is best to end the relationship. The coach may determine that the client is simply not ready to work on their issue at this time. The client has failed to take agreed upon actions, skipped or continually rescheduled sessions, or declines to talk about what may be blocking her. All these are symptoms of the

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship clients reluctance to address the issue and this lack of progress can serve as the lead-in to the termination process.

There are also times when a client will contact a coach and the presented issue is not one a coach can handle but would best be referred to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or marriage counselor. The coach must constantly be aware of the potential for these situations to develop so they can be handled in a sensitive manner. The coach must not only know his own limits, but be aware of the potential liability involved. Finally, it would be remiss to ignore the situation where there is an actual physical threat. Most coaching is done via telephone or other communications media, so there is some degree of safety built in. If the session is face-to-face, the best approach is to present a calm demeanor and try to end the session as expeditiously as possible. At this point, the goal is to get to safety. Once safe, the coach can rationally explore the event and determine an appropriate response, which may range from continuing coaching to notifying the police. With the exception of the physical threat scenario described above, any coaching relationship ending early must be handled in a professional, positive manner. In ending the relationship the coach should be careful not to be accusing or judgmental. Just as with the client who completes the coaching process with a positive outcome, the coach wants every client to leave with positive thoughts about the contact that was made. When ending the coaching relationship early it is important to attempt to get the client to take ownership for the issue that is causing the difficulty. In a respectful manner the coach can bring up the topic that is causing the difficulty and how the coach perceives it and then encourage the client to discuss the issue. At this point the coach can make suggestions on how to proceed.

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship If the issue is an inability of the coach and client to establish a working relationship, or

the need for the client to seek professional help, the coach can refer the client to another coach or professional and end by summarizing what they have gained from their relationship and wishing them luck. (personal-coaching-information.com, 2008) The coach may also encourage the client to check back with them about their success or difficulty in making the new contact and with the clients progress. In the case of a client who is not progressing, missing sessions or not paying fees it may be possible to make a contract with the client on how to proceed. In this case the client and the coach will make an agreement spelling out the details on how the relationship will proceed. The client may agree to consistently attend sessions, meet certain goals or begin a reduced payment plan with the understanding that failure to adhere to the agreement will end the relationship. A client who has worked with a coach is much like the client who has worked with a therapist. A relationship of trust was established that enabled the client to set goals and achieve them and the client was ready to move forward on his own with a new sense of confidence. When it is necessary to end the coaching relationship early, the coach needs to exercise as much skill as possible in order to successfully support the needs of the client and end the relationship on a positive note. A successful conclusion to the coaching relationship leaves the client with a positive view of the coach and possible referrals to future clients.

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC

Letting Go: Terminating the Coaching Relationship Bibliography

Barnett, J., & Zur, O. (2010). Codes of Ethics on Termination in Psychotherapy and Counseling. Retrieved from zurinstitute.com: http://www.zurinstitute.com/ethicsoftermination.html Hopkins, M. ((n.d.)). ehow.com. Retrieved from How to Finish a Counseling Relationship With a Client: http://www.ehow.com/how_5688966_finish-counseling-relationship-client.html Howes, R. (2008, Sep 30). Terminating Therapy, Part I: What, Why, How? Retrieved Dec 2011, from psychologytoday.com: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intherapy/200809/terminating-therapy-part-i-what-why-how# International Coach Federation. (2008, Dec 18). Code of Ethics. Retrieved from www.coachfederation.org: http://www.coachfederation.org/about-icf/ethics/icf-code-ofethics/ International Coach Federation. (June 2011). Code of Conduct for Coaching and Mentoring. International Coach Federation. personal-coaching-information.com. (2008). Ending Your Coaching Relationship. Retrieved from www.personal-coaching-information.com: http://www.personal-coachinginformation.com/ending-your-coaching-relationship.html Transition Partnerships. (2005). Coaching: How to Make it Work for You. Retrieved from wwpartnerships.comw.transition: http://www.transitionpartnerships.com/docs/coaching.pdf

Copyright 2012, Jeff Anderson for Your Life Plus LLC