Alex Barlow Ms.

Caruso English 1103 14 October 2012 Society, Facebook, and Marriage

Barlow 1

Karina 11/7/12 12:03 AM

Comment [1]: Reviewed by Karina Tyulyu

In a world full of corruption and bad influences, its becoming harder and harder to find the middle ground to stand on. Couples today are facing challenges that their grandparents would have been shunned over fifty years ago. Cheating, lying, and divorce are at all time highs in relationships and its making it tough for couples to stay loyal to each other (Borchard). As a member of todays society, most people feel the need to always be in contact with someone. Consequently, some couples can reconnect with exs or start a new relationship when they are currently in a relationship. This can cause tension and start problems in a relationship. By understanding how Facebook originated, societys views on marriage, and how couples are dealing with Facebook as a whole, one can understand how Facebook is effecting couples today. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook as a sophomore at Harvard University in February of 2004. In the beginning, his site was only available to Harvard students, but within a few months Facebook was moving its headquarters to California and making its site available to high school students across the nation. As Facebook continues to expand, it has become easier for society to stay connected and make new friends and a few enemies(Bertolucci). Facebook introduced the Wall, which allowed users to write comments and messages for other people to view. Next, Facebook introduced the news feed which allowed users to keep a close watch on what other users were doing. In the beginning this posed many questions regarding user privacy
Karina 11/7/12 12:09 AM
Comment [3]: In regards to the next few sentences after this quote, maybe add how the Wall, timeline, or like button make it easier to stay connected with friends or make enemies

Karina 11/7/12 12:06 AM

Comment [2]: This looks to be a valuable piece of information. I would suggest to add a sentence before or after this statement to paraphrase/analyze what cheating, lying and divorce have to do with Facebook.

Barlow 2

and the intent Facebook was trying to achieve. After introducing the news feed and getting away with it, Facebook introduced Facebook chat and the Like button. However, the one addition that made Facebook so public was the introduction of the timeline. This feature allowed users to post where, who, and what was going on in their life, and allowing the public to view it. After huge privacy concerns, Facebook implemented privacy settings for its timeline and allowed users to pick and choose who is allowed to see what is posted before being published onto the timeline (Milestones). With concerns over privacy, Facebook has also made things a little too private. By allowing users to use private messages, IMs, and disclose certain information to certain people, its becoming less about what goes on in public, and more about what goes on behind the computer screen. Today, a marriage has a 50/50 chance of surviving intact within the first few years. Many think its unnecessary. Why do I need a piece of paper to prove I love this person? is a common question many are asking. In many instances the old rhyme, rst comes love, then comes marriage, then comes junior in a baby carriage, has been shufed around. It now seems more like, first comes love (or in most cases lust), then comes junior in the baby carriage, then comes marriage, maybe if the couple is lucky. As much as anything else, this confused behavior comes from a complete misunderstanding of marriage in our society today. Many couples are asking themselves where they are going in the relationship and many are confused as to what their partner wants out of life and the relationship. Marriage has become less popular through the years and many are filing for divorce within the first year. However, how are the other 50% making it? By forming close ties and arguing less, couples are fighting to stick together, not fall apart. Many couples are going against the norm and agreeing to not have social media accounts and also limiting the amount of time they spend away from each other (Sniderman par.5). By
Karina 11/7/12 12:13 AM
Comment [5]: This isnt based on research, but the tone in that sentence sounds condescending. I agree with your point, but maybe use other words to get your point across to readers without sounding biased/too opinionated

Karina 11/7/12 12:10 AM

Comment [4]: I like how you transitioned from the cited statement to your own interpretation of the privacy issue

Barlow 3

focusing more on one- on one time, the couples are working more as team player, and not as an opponent. In the past, marriages happened because the need for children, someone to pass on their property, and to simply not be alone in life. In society today, couples are focused more on love and not on whom they will pass their assets onto when they pass. However, with the recent increase in gay marriages, couples are facing a whole new challenge. Gay marriages are showing signs of progress though. They are staying married longer than traditional couples and raising happier children (par. 7). This however, has had a major influence on how society views marriage. No matter the orientation of the couple, marriage is still difficult either way. Katherine Bindley reports in her article, "Facebook Relationship Problems: How Social Networking And Jealousy Affect Your Love Life", how social networking sites, like Facebook, interfere with relationships. She mentions many different ways that Facebook can alter a relationship and what causes those alterations to occur. By explaining the different ways Facebook can change a relationship, she gives keys reasons why the website can destroy a relationship. Most of these ways can be prevented and are ways to deter issues in the relationship. Messaging someone you hooked up with before you met your current love interest, analyzing a wall post on your significant other's page, stewing over a suspicious picture but not actually asking about it -- all of these have been known to tank relationships (Bindley). This quote directly correlates with how couples are interacting with Facebook. Bindley describes in detail how couples use this site, but she never really gives a good understanding of how couples are preventing it from killing their relationship. She simply ends her argument with this quote: To be clear, Facebook itself isn't to blame for the demise of domestic bliss. Instead, it's an avenue by which threats can develop if you fail to communicate about them, and one that can exacerbate problems that already exist (Bindley). This quote explains that Facebook is not
Karina 11/7/12 12:17 AM
Comment [6]: New thought in this paper on the homosexuals. Explain further how gay marriage/relationships have a bad influence on society even though it is accepted that they stay married longer and raiser happier children

Karina 11/7/12 12:17 AM

Comment [7]: Nice switch up of the way you introduce/use the sources

Barlow 4

responsible for the actions couples choose to make while on the site. It is simply their choice who they talk to and who they come in contact with. Another source also talked about the same information, just in a different way. This source was very helpful in explaining the different ways Facebook interferes with a couples daily interactions. It lists different encounters that Facebook places in a couples life (talking to exs, private messages, flirty on posts and pictures, etc.). Each encounter can weigh heavy on how a relationship functions and eventually, if they will work out in the long road. This article explains that couples need to talk to each other about what is happening on Facebook and how communication can determine how they cooperate as a team. It also talks about this quote, which is referring to couples stirring up old flames with new ones. Reaching out to a past love interest and reminiscing about the good ol times recalls the feelings for one or both of the people. The longer the jaunt down memory lane, the better the chances that an emotional or physical affair will occur ("What Happens"). It also explains that not all couples react to Facebook in the same manner. It elaborates on how many different situations can be handled and how they could potentially be avoided.
Karina 11/7/12 12:19 AM
Comment [8]: What source?