Idiots Anonymous

Volume 1, Issue 41 Also known as BC (Easier to remember than IA and it rhymes!) BIGGER AND BETTER THAN BEFORE! Copyright 2012 by Jeffrey H. Kahn All rights reserved December 2012

THROW THE BUMS OUT!

DBy Chawnaw Hershel Kahn Whilyyweeweee For those of you who are avid readers of this newsletter you probably are thinking that I am writing about the liberal Democrats and especially our newly elected Whileslsffoiho38484857579 second timer. You know me I have no qualms about riddling these I self serving political gods with righteous and bountiful admonitions! The answer is going to surprise you that this column is rather talking about throwing out most of the members of the Republican Party also known as the GOP which stands for Great Opportunities for Pandering! Why is this reporter so perturbed you ask? As reported By Alan Caruba a columnist with the Only Tea Party Nation, John Boehner, of all things the Speaker of the House, has gratuitously offered to raise our taxes by $800 billion dollars! He\\ My friend whom I have never met, but Clo listened affectionately to, Rush Limbaugh, if my words should cross your path, I want you to pay close attention to what I am about to say! When the balance of power has shifted too much to the left through the reckless abandonment of our conservative ideals, it is time to start a new party. Now Rush pay extra close attention to this! Dont be hung up on the Republican name! Dont be concerned with splitting the party! As you know much better than me, or is it I, that these times are extremely dangerous for our economy, we cant be playing games anymore! If nothing more my friend creating a new party will scare the living daylights out of the good ole boys in the back never rooms who connive new ways of playing politics! As such they will be forced to pander to us and not the bad guys who want to suck out all our money for the purpose of benefiting us?! Sarah Palin is my first choice for leader although there is what to say for Paul Ryan and Barbara Boxer. What my avid readers and not so avid readers do you suggest we call the new party? Email me at Chawnaw@rocketmail.com

A Supermarket Story

By Chawnaw Hershel Kahn It would not be prudent for me to disclose the supermarket that I recently shopped at as they are not paying this newsletter for any publicity. However, I do feel comfortable in telling you what was purchased there, specifically three items. The first was Shoprite kettle cooked barbeque potato chips for $2.29 a good bargain, the second, Shoprite French dressing, for around the same price and finally bananas at .49 a lbs, an excellent price for bananas. What has this to do with the title of this column? While at the checkout counter, my favorite cashier, whom I call, Sam I Am, was asked by me what is his favorite food item to check out? One of the reasons I like Sam I Am is because his jokes are worse than mine and he makes me look good! Sam I Am told me after much prodding that he likes the newspapers as this gives him an opportunity to see the headlines and the back page. He further continued that he loves to check out childrens toys. It gives him great joy to see how happy they are after the toy is paid for! Does the story end here? No, because I have to fill up the rest of the page with material or else you will think that we at Idiots Anonymous dont know what we are doing! I just have to say that these supermarkets have a lot of gall selling beef bones! In my day we used to get this stuff for free! By the way you should shop around; usually produce is less expensive in local stores than supermarkets! The Truth About Nonsense! 3 rd Edition By Chawnaw Hershel Kahn
Special price for the first 100 customers! Only $7.99 Featuring three new scientific theories! You will never believe in nonsense again! Go to this link on Jewish-e-books.com http://www.jewish-e-books.com/the-truth-aboutnonsense.html? goback=.gmp_3247141.gde_3247141_member_160595523

The Dear John Letter By John Freeman Columnist (Continued) Four Stars & Seven Oscars to Follow Lincoln: Steven Spielbergs new movie Lincoln is a great treatise on the last year of Abraham Lincolns life, focusing, primarily, on the monumental passing of the 13th Amendment to abolish slavery. I will not give too much detail in terms of plot, but, if you dont know how the story ends, you may need to take another American history lesson. Thankfully, this film focuses more on the end of the Civil War and the triumph of the 13th amendment, rather than the untimely death of Lincoln. The movie has a PG-13 rating. This Lincoln project was in pre-production for a very long time. There were other actors considered for the part, namely Liam Neeson. Neeson, who appeared in Spielbergs Schindlers List would have been a great choice, but Daniel Day Lewis (another fellow Irishman, along with Neeson) was perfect. Apparently, Spielberg chose Daniel Day Lewis originally, but, at first, Daniel politely declined. A few years past, and one day Spielberg received a recording of Lincolns voice as performed by Daniel Day Lewis. Spielberg knew that he had HEARD the voice of Lincoln. This was not a booming, deep voice that were used to hearing, but a higher pitched, folksy voice with a little Kentucky twang, and Illinois twinge. I also loved the political aspect of the film, which is a LARGE part of it; the bantering, the arguing, the compromising, etc., but, as I watched, I realized the thing we are missing the most in American politics, (and America in general for that matter), is the idea of the STORYTELLER. In an age before all this visual stimulation, the storyteller would capture our imagination. We are in such desperate need of that creativity today as Lincoln who was highly effective in this endeavor. Lincoln comments about himself in the film: My first barber hung himself, and my second left me his scissors in his will. Our society, as much as we like to pat ourselves on the back and say were not prejudiced, do judge books by their cover, for the most part. And its a shame, how many potentially effective presidents we missed out, because of their looks, or voice, or their interest in sharing ideas. We dont like IDEAS today, theyre too dangerous. Today, we need sound bites! We need TV spots for Big Birddont let me get started. Today there is still political fervor, in all parties involved, whether Republican, Democrat, or Independent. The political fighting and brute comments can be seen and heard on the Senate floor, but, one thing we've lost along the way is that art of storytelling in politics. Today, politicians need a teleprompter for everything. Incredible movie! 4 Stars! I highly recommend it!

Paranoia Is Good!
By Chawnaw Hershel Kahn Everywhere you go you feel that you are being watched! As you cross the streets hundreds of people stop and stare! The CIA has special agents trailing you! When you move across the lawn you can feel the beady eyes of disgusting large insects with more legs than you wish to know about coming towards you, licking their lips as they move closer and closer their eyes glued to every move that you make! You are helpless knowing that they see you when you cant see them! Why is it when you enter work everyone stops talking and put down their hot drinks! You can feel their icy cold glassy bloodshot bulging pupils examining every inch of your neck, which is now prickling with stiff hairs rubbing abrasively against your collar giving you a rash! Those binoculars your next door neighbors have isnt for bird watching! The pilot in the commercial jet intentionally flies overhead just so that you will be seen by a multitude of strangers watching every move you make! You should know this. IF NOT FOR YOUR PARANOIA NO ONE WOULD LOOK AT YOU AT ALL! Gee, I hope I didnt give you a complex!

My Two Cents
By Chawnaw Hershel Kahn My friends I just wanted to add to the Dear John Letter about another movie that you might enjoy. If you havent seen it, watch Young Mr. Lincoln a 1939 masterpiece directed by the renowned John Ford and starring Henry Fonda in the lead. You will get a taste of the greatness of our sixteenth President as a youth an avid reader and rugged individualist who staves off vigilantism by preventing an angry mob from taking justice into their own hands. The height of this drama is how an agile inexperienced homespun lawyer unravels a murder. Everything is just fantastic about this film and when you are finished watching you will want to build your own log cabin! This is a five star movie and you should make your kids watch it!