Jack Dyro WR 13300 Angel Matos 21 Sep 2012

Vrooom. The engine whirred as I stepped lightly on the gas pedal. As I increased the pressure, I felt inertia force me back in the seat. I was driving a car fit for a high school senior, a bargain-basement Cadillac Deville equipped with an over-sized V8 engine, and I expected it to be mine within the very near future. A few weeks before I drove a 2007 Toyota Corolla, a car that was safe, reliable, and incredibly boring. Looking to spice things up and save a little cash, my Dad and I sold the Corolla to a pleasant and well-paying Indian man, and thus set off one of the more hectic months of my life. Instead of driving my own car, I suddenly had to coordinate rides with my parents again. I had to leave for school a half an hour earlier so my Dad had time to drop me off and drive to his bus stop. My spare time was completely consumed with car shopping. I spent my weekends driving in my Moms minivan to seedy used car dealerships and talking to suspicious car owners. After weeks of fruitless search, frustration, and exhaustion, we finally found the Cadillac, a car we both agreed could be the one. We drove 45 minutes, to an area of the county we had never been to before, and talked to a very nice man who was eager to have us test his car. As I took it on the test drive, I had a feeling in my heart of hearts that this was my car, that me and it had been fated to be together for a long

Comment [BC1]: Good action verb

Comment [JD2]: A little bland TS, try to make more arguable

Comment [BC3]: Seedy?

Comment [JD4]: Was?

time. I loved the feeling of the engine. I loved the speed. I loved the needless luxury features, such as backseat seat warmers and a backup sensor. Immediately following our first test drive, my Dad set down a $700 deposit to claim it as our own. All that was left to do was pick it up the next day before school and to pay the rest of the cars price tag. I wanted to drive it to school, but my Dad said he had to take it to inspection before he paid the rest of the money he owed. All day in school, I thought dreamed of walking down the hill from lacrosse practice and finally being able to drive my Caddy (as my Dad and I had taken to calling it) home for the first time. Although the day seemed to take forever, I eventually found myself in the very moment I dreamed about. I walked down the hill full of expectation and happiness. I was slightly surprised to see my Dad sitting in the parking lot in the minivan, but thought nothing of it until I climbed into the van and he turned to me and said No caddy. It took me a second to process what he had said. When it finally hit me, I slumped down in my seat and shut my eyes. Maybe this was just a bad dream. Alas, the car had failed inspection due to a key engine problem, and my Dad had returned it and recouped his deposit. The nice car owner, it had turned out, had wiped the cars computer memory clean in an attempt to avoid detection of the issue. I had finally tasted the sweet relief of freedom, but instead of holding on to it, I was thrust back into the grind of constantly asking for rides, of waking up a half hour early, of using all my free time to car shop. At this point, I thought, I would take any car as long as the ordeal finally ended.
Comment [BC5]: Good choppiness, I can feel the drama

It took us a week after the Cadillac debacle to find its replacement. This time the owner of the car lived a mere five minutes from us and was selling a 2002 Infiniti, which the owners daughter had used for high school but was now being sold while she attended college. The Infiniti had some good kick to it, also utilizing a large V8 engine, and it drove much more smoothly than the Cadillac. An added bonus was a built in Bose sound system, which enabled me to blast my tunes in great sound quality. Although I was cautious at first, given the way my last car had burned me, I eventually warmed up to the Infiniti due to its good interior condition, its good usage history, and its plethora of features. We went through the same jig again: test drive, deposit, pick up before school, take to inspection. This time I couldnt wait all day to find out about the results of the inspection, so I texted my Mom. Her response broke my heart a second time. Failed inspection! Frame of car is deteriorating. This was the final straw. I decided to remove myself from the car hunt completely, unable to recover from two crushing heartbreaks enough to give myself over to another car. I figured my Dad could find something within our budget which could pass inspection, and I resigned myself to the fact that it might not be the cool car I had once imagined. One day at school, I finally got the text. We found a car which passed inspection, Dads driving it home from work. My excitement built for the last time, as I knew this time that whatever the condition of the car, I would finally get to keep it. I rushed home in the van, and sitting in my driveway waiting for me was the single ugliest car I had ever seen. My new car was a first-generation, 1997 Toyota
Comment [BC6]: Describe your excitement. What it felt like in school and sitting, trapped in you desk

RAV-4. Its design was basically a tiny Toyota Coralla on stilts. It had a cheap plastic interior, one cup holder, and no armrests. Its only features were 4 wheel drive, inexpensiveness, and the fact that it could be safely driven. Not really believing my odyssey was over, I grabbed the keys and sat in the drivers seat. Sputter-sputtersputter. Sputter-sputter-sputter. I leaned back in my seat and took a deep breath.
Comment [BC7]: Good ending, could be improved. Leave the audience guessing a bit