08/21/97 1:12 PM I was awakened this morning by noises from above.

I could hear someone moving around and the toilet seemed to be flushed a lot. I went back to sleep once or twice but was again awakened by noise from the room above. When I did get up because of the pressure of urine, I found everything very quiet and it has been now for the more than half hour since I cam down. From the nature of the noise this morning it occured to me that it was intentional to perhaps force me to get up early enough to then be subjected to pressure for my truck and money fro gasoline or for mw ro drive. That may yet happen. The jailer said lasy Saturday that he would be going shopping on Friday and this is still Thrisday I think because I saw the garbage pick up people coming by while I looked out the window. The jailer has apparently decided to leave all the garbage in the garage. I loaded up thr first two bags on the first trip into Salida. So I came downstaits, surprised that it had become so quiet. Poured a half cup of coffee from the full decanter, and filled it up with water and milk then heated it in the microwave oven while toasting a slice of bread. Everything is very meaningful some people say because the divine design includes all and some even say that it is our self-nature that is responsible for the design, that we are immortal and mystrious conscious beings. So even a slice of bread is meaningful - like the vision of integration of temporal thin slices into a whole. I buttered the toast and spread some small amount of vegemite on it. A spponful of Bordens sweet cond milk into the coffee and out to the back deck with Sutra of Hui-Neng. It sounds so esoteric as I write this and conjure up an image of it. A man with a beard and long hair on a lawn chair in the sun with sun glasses and a baseball cap in a white t-shirt and blue shorts with socks and sandals on, sitting in the sun with a cup of cafe au lait, smoking a cigarette and reading The Sutra of Hui-Neng. I became tired of it as I read it. It began to occur to me that the teachings of Buddhism may perhaps have been taken over by the greedy and put to use as a system of manipulation - one of the most prominent teachings is the one

about being detached from all material things - it seems to me that such a teaching is exactly what a greedy manipulative power elite might want taught to all the people to keep them in a state of poverty while constantly stealing from the fruit of thei productive labors. Its one of those things, even though the idea comes to me it is still shrouded in uncertainty but it makes a lot of sense. Christianity may well have started out with compassionate goals. We have to accept the truth that the whole planetary system of material supply and consumption is quite critical to the survival of the living planet. All forms of life need nourishment and the nourishment they need is provided by the whole system. They need to have nutirents and the nutrients include air water and organic and inorganic nutriets from the soil. The science of biology has taught us that the samllest and simplest of living beings, are nourished by sun light, air, water and the inorganic soil of the earth. Larger and more complex living beings consume the nutrients that are produced by the smaller and simpler. When we look at the whole system though we find that it is the four elements (fire air water and Earth) that are the essential nutrients for the flourishing of life. The life force is a very strong one and it works with a huge amount of energy to produce the material requirements of the whole living Planet of which human beings are part. My own personal contention for a long time now is like that of some of the Greek philosophers and like the essence of the Buddhist idea of the middle way and that is moderation and balanced consumption when it comes to the material world. There are human beings and perhaps other entities who take the task of economics as a very serious one and it is. There is a tendency today for many who are interested in helping establish a new ecological culture to regard the serious and essential task of economic activity as evil activity. My view is that the direction and purpose of the entire Universe is the awakening of consciousness and that the awakening process involves the cultivation of healthy bodies in the sensory world where economic actvity takes place.

Anyway I got the idea that I was not really feeling like reading this book any more because it didnt feel right. What does feel right is something else. There is a powerful force of attraction to experiencing a state of consciousness in which there is awareness of integrated consciousness, evolving consciousness, awakening consciousness. A state of mind in which we become aware of certain aspects of our true self which we come to know to be pure consciousness. I can think about going into town ad registering the truck and getting a new drivers license or paying the bills or all those other chores like hauling out the garbage or I can think about why it is that there is this person living in my home and using all my things without my consent. But I do not feel like being aware of those things and feel and very strong attraction to an awakening of awareness of the real nature which is consciousness. I am very attracted to observing the nature of percpetion to calm and serene observation of the stream of consciousness without any fixation to anything, but with free movement and without becoming engrossed with the nature of the experiences there. 08/21/97 1:48 PM I feel like abreak so Ill be returning in a little while I think. 08/21/97 2:45 PM Its been so quiet now for more than two hours. Not a sound in the house it has me suspecting that the jailer is not in the house if he is in the house its just as if he is not in the house since there is not a sound nor any other sense impression from the jailer so I took the break refered to and went outside with the Tao Te Ching Japphy calls it Dao De Jing in his No Nature poem that I read in Salida last week Japphy may have sat in the dome of the small Lindisfarne Chapel up at the Crestone Mountain Zen Center Gia Fu Feng resided at Manitou Springs here in Crestone is the home of the Manitou Foundation is there a relationship as far as I know Manitou Springs is near Colorado

Springs and thats about three hours away I dont know much about Europe and havent been to Switzerland or the Austrian Alps they have Alps in other countries too France and Italy The native people of the Turtle Island didnt set up boundaries like those set up in Europe they didnt get so involved in constructing stone buildings and temples and all that some people say that is because they are primative and ignorant savages that they are just not as smart as the Europeans but I think that is all bullshit the diiference is that Europeans got more interested in the world of sensory perception and spent more of their time and energy transforming the Earth of their land the native people of Turtle Island let the place be as it was to a greater extent sure they must have built shelters but they spent a lot less of their time by building simpler structures that took less work the Europeans had to really work at it and that must have meant less time to contemplate the beauty of the sacred land as it is but eventually the Europeans were able to transform the land and the living and inorganic things of the land into devices that they used to harness the wind and they came to Turtle Island then they began to do the same thing on Turtle Island that they did in their homeland they began to disturb the land and convert it into man made structures so now there are all these cities and freeways and factories cars and planes and motorcycles and all that type of thing but there is still a lot of untouched land or at least it is relatively untouched I can look out the window and I can see it should I take a shower now while I can I dont feel like it but the jailer may take my truck again tomorrow and I should be paying the bills for water and phone and pick up the power bill at the post office but I dont feel like it the sage is guided by what he feels is it the same in Australia probably what about the Tao Te Ching how come lots of people say it is a great thing but they go on ignoring what it has to say that they seem to want us to believe they think is great it is very confusing a nice book

though I found myself reading each and every poem in it it is ancient they say but how do we really know maybe its just another piece of propaganda used to enslave people to serve the purposes of greedy people is the world really so nasty as all that Its very unpleasanr when the jailer is here and making noise I dont really know why its unpleasant but I find it disturbing when there is no sound at all in the house but the sounds I make Im a lot more at ease there is screeching humming bird just came up to the window as it does so often and seems to look in this morning there was bird I havent seen before it was a bright yellow color I wondered if it may have been a caged finch or canary that was released somehow I might end up in a cage because I have pursued freedom and have defied those whove tried to control and enslave me s