Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
by
RICHARD KNIGHT
PART I
E: farmboyrich@gmail.com
2
AMIR
Out!
ROBERT
Almost there.
And then..
WHOOSH!!
..and..
..and..
SPECTATOR
What the..?
YVONNE
Oh God, Robert!
ROBERT turns, from his POV, the smoke from the missile
arcing into the sky.
The MAN with the tray of drinks sees the missile, and
drops the tray. CRASHING of glasses to the ground.
Three men, MOHAMMED (18), SEJAD (19) and GEE (34) are in
a silver Toyota saloon parked on a back road in an
industrial estate.
GEE
Drive!
AMIR
You’re out Choudhary.
CHOUDHARY
I want another go!
AMIR
You should have played it
more defensive.
Then..
5
WHUMP!!
AMIR
Fuckin’ hell..
DARREN
Hello Ritzy’s.
(beat)
What?
BILLY
It’s a fuckin’ Sunday!
FIONA (sarcastic)
Ah bless, why can’t they
attack Monday to Friday like
normal human beings?
BILLY
Don’t touch the game.
FIONA
Don’t need to Benito. You’re
screwed already.
6
AMIR, CHOUDHARY, SUNI and MAL gather around the shed and
the SPENT MISSILE CASE. Lying amongst old chairs and
electrical equipment, paint pots etc. It is still
smoking.
SUNI
What is it?
AMIR
Don’t touch it!
TARIQ
What’s going on?
ROBERT
It was a SAM, fired close
range.
BILLY
At what?
ROBERT
A British Airways 747.
I saw it.
7
BILLY
No shit.
ROBERT
Get Charlie and all spare
units and get out there.
FIONA
Where’s there?
ROBERT
Hounslow, about a mile east
of the airport. And get onto
the plods pronto. I want
everything they’ve got and I
want it as it happens.
FIONA
Yes Sir.
BILLY
Where did it come down?
ROBERT
Ground every single plane in
British airspace.
BILLY
But..
ROBERT
Do it right now.
BILLY
..where did it crash?
ROBERT (cont’d)
It didn’t – they missed.
BILLY
Jesus.
ROBERT
I’ll be in in 25 minutes.
BILLY
Dialling.. and Sir..?
8
ROBERT
Yes?
BILLY
You might want to lose the
apron.
(into phone)
This is the Ritzy, we have
ourselves a situation.
SEJAD
Inshallah.
MOHAMMED
Shitting shit.
GEE
Just drive, yeah?
SEJAD
I can’t do this.
ROBERT
Hit me..
BILLY
This entire area on total
lockdown.
10
ROBERT
Good work.
BILLY
Every airport this side of
Berlin is fully grounded..
except for Charles de Gaulle.
ROBERT (exasperated)
The French.
BILLY
God love ‘em.
And they’ve found the spent
missile.
ROBERT
Where?
BILLY
Zion Road.
ROBERT
Get the met office on the
phone. I want wind speeds,
directions.
BILLY
Already happening.
ROBERT
So get on to ballistics,
Walter Allen, find out what it
was and where it was launched.
BILLY (smug)
On his way there already.
ROBERT
Alright, don’t get too cocky
eh Billy, if you were that
bloody good we wouldn’t be
dealing with this mess would
we?
DARREN
Robert, Des on the phone.
11
ROBERT
Yep, to me.
(beat)
Yes minister..
(beat)
No minister..
(to Billy)
..and get France on the phone,
tell them to close their
bloody airport!
TARIQ appears at his back door with his sons AMIR and
CHOUDHARY, who now has a bandage on his hand.
FIONA
Walter..
WALTER
It’s an AX250 surface to air
missile, practically antique.
FIONA
Where has it come from?
WALTER
Originally Russia, or should I
say the Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics – ah but
do you mean where was it
fired from today?
WALTER (cont’d)
We can’t be one hundred
percent but from the eye-
witness reports we’ve got so
far, and plugging in the
figures for wind speed and
such like, it would appear
to have been fired from
somewhere.. here.
ROBERT
Freeport Industrial Estate.
ROBERT (cont’d)
But that’s..
ROBERT
Right. Nothing goes in or out
of there until we get to the
bottom of this.
FIONA
Yes Sir. And Sir?
Walter ID’d it as an AX250.
(beat)
Russian.
ARMED POLICEMAN
What for?
FIONA
Maybe, maybe not.
FIONA
I want that, that, that and
that. As far back as their
records go.
FIONA
“She” is the woman who’ll
have you in the dole queue
first thing Monday morning if
you don’t take your dick out
of your hand and start doing
your job.
PC SLATER
What?
FIONA (urgent)
Get rid of them.
15
PC SLATER
Who?
FIONA
Them!
SERGEANT SMITH
You know what it’s like, we
take in all the waifs and
strays these days.
FIONA
Well I want your waifs and
strays to go through this
place with a fine tooth comb.
SERGEANT SMITH
Yes Ma’am.
DES
Ah Robert.
ROBERT
Minister.
They shake.
DES (cont’d)
You know Peter?
16
ROBERT
We’ve met.
ROBERT sits.
DES
Do you want to tell me what
The bloody hell is going on?
ROBERT
Well..
PETER
Quick as you like, they want
him in the studio in two
minutes.
ROBERT
At precisely two minutes past
two an AX250 surface to air
missile was fired from an
industrial estate in Hounslow
towards British Airways flight
242 from Hong Kong, which was
on it’s final approach to
Heathrow. The missile missed
it’s intended target and the
shell case landed in a garden
half a mile away.
PETER
It was launched from inside
the control zone?
ROBERT
Yes it was.
DES
What’s the control zone?
PETER(cont’d, to Des)
The control zone is a net of
high surveillance around
the Airport, in force precisely
to prevent this sort of thing
17
ROBERT
Twelve.
PETER
Only twelve now?
ROBERT
Don’t look at me, you lot set
the budgets.
DES
The control zone failed?
Shit.
PETER
Don’t worry, just focus on the
twelve teams we have, not the
eight we no longer have.
(beat)
What next?
ROBERT
We work with the plods, the
Police, gather all of the cctv
footage, sweep the missile
casing for DNA, throw it all
in the mix and see what comes
out the other side.
DES
We’ve been very lucky.
PETER
Any idea where it came from?
ROBERT
Russia.
DES
Russia? Shit! Relations are
bad but would they really
stoop so low?
ROBERT
Discontinued 1978, Ukrainian
special edition.
PETER
Probably a throwback to the
war in Afghanistan, picked up
by the Mujahadeen. Which
gives your terrorist an Afghan
connection.
ROBERT
Good work Sherlock.
DES
Which narrows it down to..
PETER (shrugs)
..everybody.
ROBERT
Welcome to my world.
POLLY
Ready for you in the studio,
Minister.
DES
Shit.
PETER
You’ll be fine.
SEJAD exits his car. GEE heads towards the flat. SEJAD
and MOHAMMED exchange unhappy glances.
PETER
Don’t suppose you’ve time for
a..?
NEWSREADER (off)
Are we right in assuming the
missile was fired from inside
the special Heathrow control
zone?
NEWSREADER (off)
Is this the zone that’s
supposed to stop terrorist
attacks on low flying planes?
PETER
Good boy.
ROBERT
But such a winning smile.
GEE
He’s just bullshitting.
MOHAMMED
Gee..
SEJAD
We want out.
A pause. Tension.
GEE
You want out? Ok.
ROBERT
Billy?
BILLY
We’ve got John Carter from
special branch plus hangers on,
Stella Moran from MI6 and some
foreign office gimps all in
tomorrow at 8am sharp. Pete
Barber wants in on everything.
ROBERT
Of course.
BILLY
Imagine who we’d get if it had
actually hit the plane.
ROBERT
Hit, miss. It all amounts to
the same thing. Fiona?
FIONA
Charlie’s trawling through the
night with an army of cops,
mainly the CCTV and number
plate cameras.
ROBERT
Any DNA on the casing?
FIONA
Won’t know until tomorrow.
ROBERT
Right then team, we should
call it a night. Tomorrow the
real hard work starts.
FIONA
I think you ought to know I
want out.
ROBERT
It’s not a good time for games.
22
FIONA
I mean it. I’m sick of it.
ROBERT
What do you want to do, spend
more time with your family?
FIONA
Oh spare me the histrionics.
I’m a ball busting bitch and
whatever I do I’ll always end
up thrashing the shit out of
weak and feeble men.
ROBERT
So you’re already in exactly
the right line of work.
FIONA
I do miss him, Robert.
ROBERT
Alright, well, I tell you what,
lets get this mess cleared up,
and then you take a month off.
Fly out and see your boy.
FIONA
Huh, fly?
ROBERT
It’s still the safest way to
travel. It’ll be even safer
after this little episode.
For a while anyway.
FIONA
I don’t know.
ROBERT
That’s the difference with me,
Fiona. My family are all
right here in this office,
it’s all of you, my little
boys and girls, that make the
job bearable.
FIONA
You are so full of crap.
23
ROBERT
Yes I am. Come on.
ROBERT (cont’d)
Better do our bit to save
the planet eh?
Darkness.
BILLY
I’m home!
CARLA (off)
Is that you, love?
BILLY sits for a late meal with his Mum, CARLA, Dad
PARVEEN and sister, RUTH.
CARLA
Good day?
BILLY
Ok.
CARLA
Did you see the news?
BILLY
Yeah.
PARVEEN
Bloody Muslims.
PARVEEN
Why don’t they just blow up
each other?
CARLA
NASA. Isn’t that amazing?
CARLA (cont’d)
He says if you fancy a career
change there’s plenty of work.
BILLY
I’m alright where I am, Mum.
PARVEEN
Where’s the new one?
Bleep bleep.
CARLA
On the shelf.
PARVEEN
Bloody isn’t.
CARLA
Bloody is. And less of the
swearing, you.
CARLA (cont’d)
You don’t want to work in
network support all your
life, surely?
PARVEEN
I’m telling you it’s not
here.
BILLY
I’m happy where I am, Mum.
Don’t keep going on.
YVONNE
I saved you a sausage.
ROBERT
You don’t have to.
YVONNE
I know.
ROBERT
You’re too good to me.
YVONNE
I am.
ROBERT
I’m going to be a bit..
YVONNE
..busy? Just try to relax
when you’re here then eh?
FIONA
Hello.. is Michael there
please?
FIONA (cont’d)
Hello?
FIONA
And Lawrence?
WOMAN
Out too. With Michael.
FIONA
And you are..?
WOMAN
I’m Marie. The house sitter.
FIONA
OK Marie, if you could tell
them Fiona called, that would
be great.
WOMAN (MARIE)
Ok, I will, bye.
GEE sits back down in the car, the Toyota screeches away.
The footage is paused.
ROBERT
Thanks Charlie. How shall we
play this? Questions from
the floor?
29
CHARLIE
Fire away.
PETER BARBER
Easy one first. Who are they?
CHARLIE
We don’t know.
PETER
I assume you’ve got the number
plate?
CHARLIE
Yes.
PETER
And?
CHARLIE
It’s fake.
FIONA
Anything else of interest on
the CCTV?
CHARLIE
Some lines of enquiry. I’ll
show you the edited highlights
later.
FIONA
Ok.
PETER
Has anyone claimed
responsibility?
DES
We know who it is, surely?
CHARLIE
They’ve yet to claim it. Stella?
STELLA
No word from our end. They
might not wish to shout about
it, seeing as they missed.
DES
But look at the chaos.
30
STELLA
Putting out feelers in all the
usual places. Checking for
any unusual movements.
PETER
Looking for needles in
haystacks then?
STELLA
Yes, rather.
JOHN CARTER
The needles are always there
in the end.
STELLA
But the haystack grows by the
day.
FIONA
We’re checking immigration for
recent arrivals.
STELLA
We’ll work with you on that.
FIONA
Thanks.
BILLY
My question is.. how on earth
did they miss?
CHARLIE
Antiquated kit.
BILLY
Yeah, but a 747 a hundred
feet away. It’s a fuckin’
sitting duck.
ROBERT (scalding)
Billy.
BILLY
Well, it is.
31
PETER
Do we have any idea where the
hardware came from?
CHARLIE
We suspect it’s been in the
country quite some time. But
we don’t know.
PETER
We don’t know much do we?
JOHN CARTER
Not yet, but the investigation
is still ongoing. We’re
putting maximum possible
resources onto this so over
the next few days..
JOHN CARTER
What is it Max?
MAX
We’ve found DNA on the casing.
CHARLIE
And?
MAX
Asian, male.
DES
Yes!
JOHN CARTER
There we are, instant results.
MAX
That’s not all.
He works at.. Heathrow.
BILLY
Jesus.
32
MAX (v.o)
That’s how we id’d him so
fast. Yer man works in
maintenance.
PETER (v.o)
Maintenance?
MAX (v.o)
Yes and mostly, get this,
baggage handling.
BILLY (v.o)
You’re kidding.
MAX (v.o)
I wish I was.
Everything as before.
MAX
We’ve sent a unit down to pick
him up.
CHARLIE (v.o)
Who is he then?
MAX (v.o)
Tariq Hussain, of 65 Zion
Road, Hounslow.
Everything as before.
STELLA
You sound as if you know it?
FIONA
We do, as should they.
CHARLIE
Sir, Zion Road is where the
missile fell.
FIONA
On Tariq Hussain’s shed.
34
STELLA
Ahh.. perhaps that explains
the DNA?
JOHN CARTER
Shit. Max, call them off,
call them off now!
MAX (v.o)
It might be too late.
MAX
They’re bringing him in.
PETER BARBER
Everything we do is in the
public eye. Everything.
DES WALKER
What’s the matter? Have we
arrested the wrong chap?
MAX
Let me explain, minister.
STELLA
So we’re back to square one.
BILLY
Or square minus fifty-one.
PETER BARBER
Let’s start again then. I want
proper police work and I want
all of you, all of you, to
talk to each other but most
importantly to me, before doing
anything. Understand?
JOHN CARTER
Yes Peter.
STELLA
Oh look on the bright side
John, at least you didn’t
shoot this one.
MOHAMMED
Get up Sejad, we can’t
stay here.
SEJAD
Look!
MOHAMMED
They already played it six
times.
NEWSREADER (off)
This is the terrifying moment
when terrorists fired at a
36
SEJAD
It’s us!
NEWSREADER (off)
And in what initially
appears to be a spectacular
blunder, a few hours ago
Police arrested Heathrow
Airport employee Tariq
Hussain, who’s garden the
missile landed in.
SEJAD
Who’s he?
MOHAMMED
Innocent bystander. Come
on.
NEWSREADER (off)
The blunder came after DNA
on the missile was
identified as Hussain’s.
SEJAD
Where’s Gee?
MOHAMMED
Gone. He left our stuff.
SEJAD
All of it?
MOHAMMED
Yes!
SEJAD
So it’s over then?
MOHAMMED
I think so. He took the car.
37
SEJAD
Shit!
MOHAMMED
I don’t think it matters
Sejad.
SEJAD
I’m gonna get killed.
MOHAMMED
Just keep your head down,
and your mouth shut.
SEJAD
So now what?
MOHAMMED
Let’s get out of here for
a start.
SEJAD
I can’t believe he took the
car.
MOHAMMED
You can get another car now,
easy. The car is the only
evidence they’ve got, remember?
On the TV:
CHARLIE
So there’s these three.
FIONA
You know them?
CHARLIE
James Green, Darren Parker
and Adam Ball. Plane
spotters. Not exactly Al
Qaeda material, but we’re
bringing them in anyway.
FIONA
What constitutes Al Qaeda
material then?
CHARLIE
You know what I’m on about.
They get on our tits to be
honest, plane spotters. Give
us several scares a year.
FIONA
Good job it’s the preserve
of the white working class
then.
CHARLIE
Yeah. Are you taking the
mick?
FIONA
With you Charlie, never.
CHARLIE
Then you’ve got these two.
Eco-warriors. Not on our
menu.
FIONA
Where are we with the car?
39
CHARLIE
Nowhere really. There was
one stolen in Southall a few
weeks ago, but it’s unlikely.
FIONA
Southall?
CHARLIE
Now who’s jumping to
conclusions?
FIONA
Silver?
CHARLIE
Yeah.
FIONA
They wouldn’t be so thick
as to use a nicked car.
CHARLIE
Exactly, but I’m sending
Eric and that other idiot.
We’re looking into all the
sales of Carinas to likely
punters but I’m not all
that optimistic. If they’re
any good they’ll have
covered their tracks.
NEWSREADER (off)
This afternoon’s racing
at Royal Ascot was
cancelled after course
40
IMRAN (60) is drinking tea with some other old men. The
doorbell rings. IMRAN switches the volume down on the
TV. Imran’s wife, NARINDA (45) has answered the door.
She enters the room.
IMRAN
Finally!
IMRAN (cont’d)
..fuss.
ERIC
Imran Ahmed? Inside please.
41
SEJAD sees this, backs slowly away, and then runs off.
IMRAN (v.o)
I woke up the other morning
and it had gone.
SERGEANT ERIC SMITH and PC SLATER sit with IMRAN and his
wife NARINDA.
ERIC
Where was it parked?
IMRAN
Outside.. on the street.
ERIC
Do you think they broke in
to it?
IMRAN
How should I know?
PC SLATER
Any broken glass on the
street?
IMRAN
No.
PC SLATER
So that’s a no then.
42
ERIC
Where was the key?
IMRAN
The key..?
IMRAN (cont’d)
It was on the stairs, at
least, I think it was.
ERIC
Could you see it from the
door?
IMRAN
Yes, definitely.
ERIC
That could be it, you should
keep your keys out of sight.
ERIC (cont’d)
That’s all for now. We’ll
keep you posted. In the
meantime, if you can think
of anything that might be
important, give me a call.
IMRAN
Yes, I will, thank you.
They leave.
ERIC
What?
PC SLATER
He only had his car nicked.
ERIC
When you’ve nothing to go on,
you go on anything you’ve
got.
PC SLATER
He phoned us though,
remember?
ERIC
I know but when we were in
there, a moment passed
between him and his wife. I
couldn’t work out what it was
but it was definitely there.
PC SLATER
Well I didn’t see it.
ERIC
No, no you didn’t.
FIONA
You know why you’re here?
ADAM
Yes, it’s regarding TK-321
otherwise known as Ruby of
The Skies, otherwise known
as BA flight 242 but
previously in service as
flight 2445, 361, 284 and..
B28, I think that takes it
as far back as ’95.
44
BILLY (sotto)
Jesus.
ADAM
If you let me get my notes I can
go back further if you like?
FIONA
That won’t be necessary.
BILLY
Mr Ball – how often do you
hang around Heathrow Airport?
ADAM
It ain’t hanging around..
it’s important research.
FIONA
Where were you on Sunday?
ADAM
We was at the stand just off
the A4 Bath Road, waiting for
the Beluga with James, Sid,
Mary and I think her lad John
was there too, I forget.
FIONA
The Beluga?
ADAM
It’s the new A220 Airbus,
specifically built with a
large aerodynamic fuselage
which..
BILLY (interrupting)
We so don’t need to know.
ADAM
We saw the rocket!
FIONA
You and half of London.
What else do you know?
ADAM
Nothing.
45
BILLY
Seen any radicals?
ADAM
What? Pakis?
FIONA
You can’t say that.
BILLY
Well?
ADAM
No Pakis, we seen them
protestors some days.
We hates them though, ‘cause
who don’t want another
runway? They must be mad.
BILLY
Mr Ball, you love planes
very much yes?
ADAM nods.
ADAM
No!
BILLY
Would have made you famous!
ADAM
You’re scaring me now!
WASIM
Before we start I’d like to
congratulate the brothers
on a great act of vengeance
against the Imperialist
oppressors.
BILLY
They missed, Wasim.
WASIM
It is God’s will.
BILLY
How did they miss?
WASIM
It is God’s will.
BILLY
Not a very good shot though
were they, your brothers?
WASIM
It is God’s will.
BILLY
Is that all you’re going
to say, “it is God’s Will?”
Silence.
BILLY
Where were you on Sunday?
WASIM
You know where I was.
BILLY
Do I?
WASIM
Yes. You have a team of
watchers following my every
move.
47
ROBERT
Who are they Wasim?
WASIM
They are glorious martyrs
who will be welcomed soon
into Paradise.
BILLY
Even though they couldn’t
hit a barn door with a pea
shooter.
WASIM
Any act of aggression
against the apostate is
to be warmly regarded.
FIONA
Wasim I have a few general
questions for you about
the apostate and the
oppression.
FIONA (cont’d)
Is it not true that you are
currently living at 26
Victoria Road, Finsbury Park.
Whilst languishing here in
your country of choice you
are currently claiming
housing benefit and living
allowances totalling £250
a week, whilst at the same
time preaching and seeking
to destroy this very state.
WASIM
It is God’s will.
FIONA
Well in my book it’s called
biting the hand that feeds.
48
ROBERT
I’ll ask you again Mr Al
Akawi, who are these people?
FIONA
The other thing that gets me
is your attire, never mind my
attire.
BILLY
Fiona..
FIONA
..no Billy. He sits there
preaching against the “forces
of oppression” in his brand
new cheap shit trainers,
which were no doubt made in
a Chinese Sweat Shop by a
highly oppressed workforce.
The hypocrisy disgusts me.
WASIM
They are not brothers.
FIONA
Bollocks, there’s 50 million
Muslims in China, most of
them shat on by the Han on
a daily basis, but you’re
happy to contribute to their
oppression for the sake of
your big lazy feet. Why
don’t you go there and save
all of them? Because you
know you’d get fuckin’
murdered within ten minutes
of being there! You’re
nothing but a hypocrite,
and a stupid one at that.
WASIM
Can I go now?
BILLY
Erm..no.
49
FIONA
I tried to warn you.
ROBERT
Yes you did.
FIONA
I don’t know why we bother
with new legislation.
Forty-two days? We already
have all the law we need to
hold maniacs like that, it’s
called the Mental Health Act.
ROBERT
Fiona..
FIONA
He should be sectioned.
ROBERT
I’m looking forward to
Cowes Week.
FIONA
It’ll probably be cancelled.
ROBERT
Have you ever been?
FIONA
No.
ROBERT
I try to go every year.
There’s something
tremendously tranquil
about being under sail.
Beat the fuel crisis and
go wherever the wind
so happens to take you.
FIONA
I’m starting to curse the
wind that blew me here.
50
ROBERT
I can see that. You know
it doesn’t do to get too
principled in our line of
work. You of all people
should know that.
FIONA
Wasim Al Akawi is a nobody,
A tiny little fish. Born
1976 in Northolt to wealthy
parents, father a locally
regarded pharmacist and I’ll
spare you the Mercedes
driving stereotypes.
Privately educated at
Deanswood where he was
subject to routine
bullying in the playground
thereby fostering a long
held resentment of “the
system” – his words.
Obtained a third class
honours degree from
Durham in chemistry
during which time he was
a vocal if somewhat
misguided member of the
University’s Islamic
Society. Disappeared off
our radar for two years
2004-2005 when it is widely
suspected he was in both
Saudi Arabia and Pakistan,
a belief subsequently
confirmed by his resurfacing
at Riyadh airport on 26th
January 2006. Returned to
the UK radicalised later
that year living first off
his father’s handouts and
51
PETER
Is that all?
FIONA
That’s all.
PETER
He sounds perfect. Put a
team on his group.
ROBERT
We’ve already had three
teams on them since February.
PETER
And?
ROBERT
What she said. He’s clean
as a whistle.
PETER
Well hold him then, as long
as we can.
FIONA
Under what? Scapegoat
legislation?
PETER
What is this? MI-facetious?
Just do it, OK?
PETER leaves.
FIONA
What the fuck gives him the
52
ROBERT
I’m there Peter.
FIONA
I’m not asking you to.
Not at all.
ROBERT
I just want you to know
that I will be in a
position to accept your
resignation. Operationally
I think we’re covered.
FIONA
Well that’s marvellous.
ROBERT
Have you got the dailies?
FIONA
Printing them now, but I
53
DES
Here he is, the man who
knew too much.
ROBERT
Minister.
DES
Could I get some sugar please?
I know I’m sweet already but..
DES (cont’d)
What the hell is that?
SERVING PERSON
Sweet and low, Sir.
DES
Dear me. No, it won’t do.
Find some real sugar boy,
what happened to standards?
I don’t know, we turn our backs
for five minutes and the world
slips one step further into all
out anarchy.
DES
OK, what’s hot, what’s not?
STELLA
Globally, six different groups
have claimed responsibility for
the attack. We’ve yet to find
concrete proof that links any
of them to it.
DES
John?
JOHN CARTER
Between ourselves and Robert
we have a total of sixty four
different radicals and groups
under permanent surveillance.
There’s a renewed chatter,
that’s for sure, but so far
none of our work has got us
any closer to identifying who
was behind the attack.
DES
Robert.
ROBERT
John’s right – we’re pursuing
multiple lines of enquiry, we
have new people deep inside the
seats of radical Islam.
DES
I think it’s for the best
that I don’t know about that.
PETER
Absolutely, the less you
know, the better.
DES
Which brings us to Wasim
Al Aka.. what’s his name?
ROBERT
Wasim Al Akawi.
55
PETER
He’s our focus this evening.
JOHN
But Pete – Akawi’s done no
wrong.
PETER
There’s no smoke without fire.
Besides, the Americans want to
extradite him over an incident
in Miami back in ’99.
JOHN CARTER
No they don’t!
PETER
Yes they do, as of half an hour
ago Akawi’s promoted to the top
of their most wanted list.
STELLA
In other words you’re creating
a shitstorm.
PETER
I like to think of it as more
of a shit-whirlwind.
A shit-fog, maybe.
STELLA
To hide the fact we’re still
some distance from the truth.
PETER
If you don’t give me results I
have to make some of my own.
STELLA
And how does that prevent
a future attack?
PETER
It doesn’t. That’s your job.
But Stella, in these testing
times the public demand results,
they want to see some action,
so above all else we have to
be seen to.. to act.
56
JOHN CARTER
With a capital “A”.
PETER
Trademark cynicism John. Can we
re-open Heathrow do you think?
JOHN CARTER
Oh please Peter, I’d have
thought that would be
entirely your decision.
PETER
Of course - leave it with me.
I wonder how that would play?
WOMAN (recorded)
Bonjour?
FIONA (recorded)
Hello.. is Michael there
please?
(beat)
Hello?
WOMAN (recorded)
Sorry, he’s out.
FIONA
I’ve had enough of this.
57
CHARLIE
Don’t worry about it.
FIONA
Don’t worry?!
CHARLIE
He’s moving on. People do.
WOMAN (recorded)
I’m Marie. The house sitter.
FIONA
Barber’s a wanker.
CHARLIE
Yes he is.
FIONA
He’s such a misogynist.
CHARLIE
You shouldn’t worry about him.
Try to focus on what’s important.
FIONA
I am.
BILLY sits with Mum CARLA, Dad PARVEEN and sister RUTH.
RUTH has her mask off, but she’s still wheezy.
CARLA
She’s had a better day today,
haven’t you love?
58
RUTH
Yes Mum.
DES
The operation to catch these
terrorists will be swift.
Their sheer audacity will be
their undoing. I’m confident
that we’ll identify them in a
matter of days, hours even.
CUT TO:
NEWSCASTER
Minister that was your
interview in the moments
following the attack. Now
here we are three days
later – I take it we’re well
on our way to identifying
the attackers?
DES WALKER
That is correct Clive.
I’m pleased to announce
that we have a key suspect
in police custody.
NEWSCASTER
Dr Wasim Al Akawi?
PARVEEN (off)
Might have known.
BILLY (off)
He didn’t do it.
PARVEEN (off)
What do you know? Course he
bloody did.
DES WALKER
I’m sure you know I’m not in a
position to name names.
59
NEWSCASTER
Is it not true that Dr
Akawi has in the last few
hours been the subject of
an extradition request by
the Americans, in connection
with a failed bombing attempt
at Miami airport in July
1999?
DES WALKER
That would appear to be
the case, yes.
NEWSCASTER
Business Leaders are
calling for the re-opening
of Heathrow as soon as
possible. By all accounts
this incident has cost the
economy many millions of
pounds a day. How soon do
you think before things can
return to normal?
DES WALKER
Well I’m glad you asked
that question Clive,
because I can also announce
that Heathrow Airport will
re-open in a limited
capacity tomorrow morning.
NEWSCASTER
Thank you Minister, I’m sure
that news will be welcomed
by the country.
Do you have any idea what
measures will be in place
to protect the public from
further terrorist outrage?
YVONNE
Well that’s good love. Things
getting back to normal.
ROBERT
Whatever normal is.
YVONNE
I’m off up, you coming?
GEE, with his army kit bag on his back, CYCLES along a
street. He stops outside a large building, removes an
ENVELOPE from his bag and posts it through a letter box.
ROBERT
Hello..?
VOICE ON PHONE
Come in please Robert, right
away.
BILLY
What the fuck..?
ROBERT
Sit down Billy, and I’ll
show you.
BILLY
It had better be good.
CHARLIE
It is.
BILLY
Jesus H Christ, now they’re
just taking the piss.
FIONA
Where did they come from?
ROBERT
Delivered an hour ago.
To the ministry of Transport.
62
FIONA
Transport?
CHARLIE
As good a place as any.
And fewer questions to
answer than if they’d
dropped them here.
BILLY
These are dynamite.
ROBERT
Well they’re out in the
open now. How’s the id’s?
CHARLIE
We’ve never seen them before.
FIONA
So they’re no associates of
Al Akawi. What about the
courier?
ROBERT
The CCTV is on it’s way.
Some bloke on a bike.
FIONA
Any chance of a reg?
ROBERT
A push bike.
FIONA
Oh.
ROBERT
One thing’s for sure, we
need to keep a lid on this.
BILLY
Imagine the scrum if this
got out.
FIONA
Refreshingly inconclusive.
BILLY
Took the words out of my
mouth.
PETER
Gentlemen, Fiona. We have
a problem.
ROBERT
Ah.
BILLY
Fuckin’ hell.
PETER
Tell me that you know
these men?
CHARLIE
As of now they’re still
unknowns.
FIONA
Clearly this will change.
PETER
Too right it will.
I’m off to wake Des.
PETER (cont’d)
Get ready to reap the
whirlwind.
NEWSREADER (V.O)
As Britain took a step closer
to complete meltdown the
number of racist reprisals
has risen to fifteen.
NEWSREADER (V.O)
Meanwhile the entire Royal
Family have been evacuated
to a secret location.
Police are following many
hundreds of leads claiming
to identify the men in the
photographs.
Around 20 ASIAN MEN who all look a little like Sejad and
Mohammed are being watched over by POLICE.
NEWSREADER (V.O)
Doubts as to the
authenticity of the snaps
have been assuaged by
forensic reports that
prove they are real, but quite
how the attackers managed
to photograph a car full
of rockets in broad daylight
is still under investigation.
65
NEWSREADER (V.O)
Many national sporting events
face cancellation this Summer
and Visit Britain are reporting
a 75 percent drop in the numbers
of overseas visitors arriving
to our shores.
NEWSREADER (V.O)
After opening last week for
just two hours, Heathrow and
all other airports remain
closed. Economists fear the
terror-induced slowdown could
lead the country into further
recession.
PUBLIC
I was supposed to be
meeting a couple of friends
for a beer but I’m heading
home early.
REPORTER
Why?
PUBLIC
I just, well, I don’t feel
safe on the streets after
dark, what with all this
paranoia.
REPORTER
What do you think of the
rumours of an eleven
66
PUBLIC
Well, I ain’t gonna be out
there so, yeah, good idea
I reckon.
REPORTER
I’m not sure civil liberties
groups will feel the same way,
but there you go Clive. The
mood on the street is one of
great fear. Assuming the
terrorists fired one of the
missiles at flight 242, the
question is, where are the
other five rockets and where
or when will they be deployed?
PETER
So..?
ROBERT
Positive ID on that one.
PETER
Good.
ROBERT
Mohammed Akhbar Akawi,
Regency Road, Barnsley.
PETER
Not another home-grown?
PETER (cont’d)
No relation to Wasim Al
Akawi?
FIONA is grinning.
ROBERT
None whatsoever.
FIONA
Hearing you try to fit
reality into your grand
scheme of things.
PETER
Oh.
FIONA
A week ago you were happy to
make an innocent man the
villain of the piece. Now
here’s your real villains
and it’s all got messy.
PETER
This is no mess.
FIONA
But you have to admit, the
multicultural experiment
has come to an end.
PETER
Has it?
FIONA
Yes – they’re fucking
killing each other out
there.
ROBERT
John wants the military on
the streets.
PETER
No thank you, it’s a
terrorist plot, not a Coup
D’etat.
68
ROBERT
Any thoughts on his request
for a curfew?
PETER
Over my dead body.
FIONA
Don’t get me excited.
FIONA (cont’d)
It’s alright Peter, I’m
leaving after this.
PETER
You certainly are Fiona.
(to Robert)
What about the other one?
ROBERT
Working on him. Not a
known associate of
Mohammed.
PETER
Work faster, we need to
re-open this country for
business as soon as we can.
BILLY
It’s likely that he’s being
harboured by his community.
PETER
So stick a reward on his
head. Start at a million
and work up from there.
CARLA
Another long day!
What happened our kid?
BILLY
The network went down.
CARLA
I didn’t hear you leave.
RUTH
I did. Five o’clock in
the morning.
CARLA
Five o’clock? Billy,
that’s so out of order.
I hope you’re not in any
trouble or anything.
BILLY
No Mum.
PARVEEN
He should get himself a
proper job.
RUTH
Dad..
PARVEEN
I’m only saying.
RUTH
I feel better somehow.
CARLA
Hey, you know Hanish is
doing the NASA job, guess
what? They’ve all had to
70
PARVEEN
Of course he can, it’s the
way of the world isn’t it?
CARLA
Our son getting clearance by
the CIA, amazing isn’t it?
BILLY
Yes Mum.
BILLY (cont’d)
What?
SEJAD makes his way to the back door and lets himself in.
IMRAN
Son, you’re in big trouble.
IMRAN
It was you who took the car.
SEJAD
Yes.
IMRAN
Where is it?
SEJAD
Gone.
IMRAN
I’ve seen it all over the
news, Sejad! What have
you got involved in? I
warned you about this sort
of business.
SEJAD
It’s not like that.
IMRAN
What about all this money?
Where has it come from Sejad?
SEJAD
I earned it, fair and square!
IMRAN
You bloody idiot.
SEJAD
You’re not gonna turn me in
are you?
SEJAD
Help me, Dad, please!
CHARLIE
Sejad Ahmed. 15 Empire St
Southall.
FIONA
How did they get him?
CHARLIE
You can thank Eric Smith for
that when you see him. He
decided to order a team to
look at Imran.
FIONA
The guy who had the Toyota
nicked?
CHARLIE
That’s his son.
FIONA
So they were that careless.
CHARLIE
Or brazen.
POLICEMAN
He doesn’t want them.
CHARLIE
Oh. Got it memorised has
he?
ROBERT
Hello Sejad.
SEJAD
Hi.
ROBERT
I take it you know why
you’re here.
SEJAD
Yes.
ROBERT
We need to know where
Mohammed is.
SEJAD
I don’t know.
BILLY
We think you do.
SEJAD
I think I don’t.
(beat)
He’s probably gone back
up north.
BILLY
How do you think he got
up there?
SEJAD
Erm, drove?
ROBERT
What does he drive?
SEJAD
A Nissan micra, red – V reg I
think.
CHARLIE
Excuse me.
He leaves.
74
BILLY
So.. what’s with the money?
SEJAD
The money?
BILLY
Look at it, Sejad. Fifty
thousand pounds.
SEJAD
That’s payment.
ROBERT
What for?
SEJAD
Putting up with all this
hassle.
POLICEMAN
The APB is now for a red
Nissan Micra, Reg..Victor.
ROBERT
Sejad, you refused the
Koran earlier.
SEJAD
Yes.
BILLY
You Hafiz already?
(Hafiz = the name for those who have memorised the Koran)
75
SEJAD
No.
ROBERT
So why refuse your book?
SEJAD
It ain’t my book.
ROBERT
Excuse me?
SEJAD
What do you want to know?
I ain’t religious ok?
BILLY
This is something of a
surprise.
SEJAD
No shit.
CHARLIE
Sorry, I just think we all
ought to have a look at this.
A Red Nissan Micra arrives and two hooded figures get out
of the car and pin a banner to the chain link fence. “No
to Terminal 5, no to 3rd Runway”
PETER
Well, well done Charlie.
PETER (cont’d)
How long can we hold him?
ROBERT
Well, there’s no question of
not getting an extension.
PETER
I don’t understand the banner.
BILLY
Neither do we.
FIONA
I’m not sure it’s a Jihadi
attack.
PETER
Oh come off it darling,
who else could it be?
FIONA
Please, don’t darling me.
ROBERT
She may be right Peter.
Sejad refused the Koran.
PETER
He’s bluffing.
ROBERT
Maybe, but he’s not a
mosque regular either.
PETER
That’s because it’s here
in his heart, oozing up to
here and rotting his tiny
little brain.
ROBERT
Let’s just hold him and
wait for the other one to
turn up.
PETER
Whenever that turns out to be.
77
MAN
Shit!
The Police Car enters the car park and turns round. In
the opposite corner, a RED NISSAN MICRA is parked. TWO
POLICEMEN get out of the patrol car, totally ignore the
couple and head towards the red Micra.
ROBERT
Mr Akawi you were found with
forty nine thousand pounds
and a plane ticket to Dubai.
FIONA
Was it your intention to
flee to Dubai?
BILLY
I can see a flaw in your plan.
FIONA
All the planes are grounded.
BILLY
Thanks to your missile attack
for some strange reason no
planes are flying.
FIONA
You really didn’t think this
through did you?
78
ROBERT
What do you make of these?
MOHAMMED
They shouldn’t have been put
in the paper.
BILLY
Why let them get taken then?
MOHAMMED
For the money.
ROBERT
Who took them?
BILLY
Who took the pictures, Mo?
MOHAMMED
Gee.
ROBERT
Did Gee give you the money?
MOHAMMED
Yes.
FIONA
Why did you put up a banner
in the industrial estate?
MOHAMMED
He told us to.
FIONA
Who?
MOHAMMED
Gee.
BILLY
Where is Gee now?
MOHAMMED
I don’t know. But can you
do me a favour?
79
BILLY
For you Mo, anything.
MOHAMMED
Catch the lying cheating
bastard.
SEJAD
I don’t know where he is.
FIONA
Has Gee got the rocket
launcher?
SEJAD
Yes.
FIONA
And the rockets?
SEJAD
I suppose.
BILLY
Tell us everything you
know about Gee.
SEJAD
That won’t take long.
BILLY
They’re thick as two short
planks.
FIONA
They’re definitely not
Jihadis.
ROBERT
You were right.
80
BILLY
So the banner was just a
diversion?
ROBERT
No – the entire religious
fanatic angle, that’s been
the diversion. These kids
have been stirred by nothing
other than money.
FIONA
I think we need to find
the brains of the outfit.
BILLY
The mysterious Gee.
FIONA
On his bike, somewhere.
ROBERT
Yes, because, you know, I
think we should consider the
possibility of Gee being an
Eco-Terrorist.
BILLY
A what?
ROBERT
Eco-terrorist.
BILLY
Not a Jihadi?
ROBERT
Get the Environment Agency
on the phone, please.
BILLY
Why?
ROBERT
Why? Everything’s “why?”
Just do it please.
(beat)
I want some figures.
81
BILLY
They’re going to love this.
ROBERT
The banner goes up in
Freeport Industrial Estate
two nights prior to the attack.
We find the launch site and the
World’s media gets an infinite
number of photographs of the
place. Only, they’re not just
photographing the estate,
they’re photographing the
banner. The banner is
publicity, for the eco-
warrior movement.
What happens next?
The airport stays closed more
or less permanently for the
entire time, along with every
other airport in Western
Europe for a while. Next, our
man Gee releases photographs
designed to cause maximum
panic among the nation.
Tourist numbers fall to more
or less zero, and we embark on
a fruitless search of every
religious nut and radical
between here and Islamabad.
This is why our intelligence
failed. We were looking in
the wrong place.
DES WALKER
So what did he achieve?
82
ROBERT
What he achieved is this..
ROBERT (cont’d)
The least amount of air
pollution over Central
London for 34 years.
ROBERT (cont’d)
The loss of some two hundred
and twenty eight thousand air
miles, amounting to a saving
of thirty five million tons of
carbon dioxide.
ROBERT (cont’d)
A reduction in hotel bed use
in the capital amounting to
approximately 100,000 room
nights, saving six million tons
of CO2 in terms of lighting,
taxi use and the like, and
three million litres of water.
Total cost to the economy of
one failed missile attack plus
a few racy photographs, two
point five billion pounds.
BILLY
Jesus.
DES
Wow.
PETER
He’s an eco-warrior?
ROBERT
Yes.
83
PETER
Maybe he meant to miss?
ROBERT
It’s a theory.
DES
So his other five rockets
are not a real threat?
ROBERT
Can you afford to take
that risk?
PETER
So where is he now?
ROBERT
Still at large. Sejad and
Mohammed are helping us build a
picture, but it seems he may
have specifically chosen them
for their intellectual
deficiencies.
BILLY
They’re trying, bless, but
they’re not much help.
DES
I don’t understand.
FIONA
They’re thick as pig shit
Minister. Mohammed bought
himself a plane ticket out of
here, not realising his actions
would ground all of the planes.
DES
I see.
PETER
What a shocking grasp of
cause and effect. He could
almost be a politician.
FIONA
Or a king of spin.
84
DES
What route forward then?
ROBERT
We stay on high alert, and
follow up the leads.
FIONA
Lose the beard.
FIONA (cont’d)
Not you, idiot. Him.
FIONA (cont’d)
Charlie’s got some DNA
too, we’ll get him sooner
or later.
ROBERT
We have a positive ID.
ROBERT (cont’d)
Georgi Romanov. Otherwise
known as Gee.
DES WALKER
Erm Robert – he’s white.
ROBERT
Yes, yes he is. He’s the
son of Constantine Romanov.
86
PETER
The oil magnate?
ROBERT
The same. He fell out with
his family several years ago.
His own radical path, if you
can call it that, came from a
gap year in Siberia where he
witnessed first hand the
effects of global warming.
PETER
So what you’re saying is –
he’s Swampy – with a rocket
launcher.
ROBERT
Oh he’s potentially
dangerous, absolutely.
DES
And white.
ROBERT
Yes. If by that observation
you mean he doesn’t fit into
an easy to follow demographic,
I couldn’t agree more.
DES
We must catch him, before
he strikes again.
ROBERT
Yes we must. But, that’s
going to take a whole new
rethink of strategy. Now
if you’ll excuse me.
ROBERT leaves.
ROBERT
You don’t have to do this.
87
FIONA
I actually want to.
ROBERT
The likes of Pete Barber
won’t be around forever you
know.
FIONA
Yes they will. If not him
then another, younger,
thicker Pete Barber.
ROBERT
So now what? Off to write
your revealing memoir?
FIONA
Something like that.
ROBERT
So long as I come across as
the dashing rugged boss with
his finger on the pulse.
FIONA
No Robert, no memoir.
(beat)
Actually, I’m moving in with
Charlie.
ROBERT
Really?
FIONA
Yes. Don’t sound so
surprised. It was you who
said your family was right
here in the office. Turns
out my new family was right
here too.
ROBERT
Well who’d have thought it?
Congratulations.
FIONA
Thanks.
ROBERT
I’m pretty useless at goodbyes.
FIONA
I know.
ROBERT
Don’t you want to stay to
help catch Gee?
FIONA
You’ll get him without me.
ROBERT
I admire your optimism.
FIONA
You do realise in ten years
time it will all be Eco-
Terrorists?
ROBERT
What do you mean in ten
years? It’s happening now.
FIONA
The cynic in me thinks these
terror laws will end up being
more for them than the
religious zealots.
ROBERT
I couldn’t possibly comment.
FIONA
Well, goodbye Robert.
DES WALKER
I can confirm that the
ringleader of the failed
attack on flight 242 from
Hong Kong was Georgi
Romanov.
JOURNALIST
The son of Constantine
Romanov?
DES WALKER
That is correct.
JOURNALIST
Is it your intention to
deport the Romanov family?
DES WALKER
No. The Romanovs are
great friends of Britain.
They have entirely disowned
Georgi and everything he
stands for, repeatedly and
over many years.
JOURNALIST
Are we any closer to
catching him?
DES WALKER
At the moment no. The two
other suspects are assisting
with our enquiries but
Georgi’s location remains
unknown.
JOURNALIST
So what you are saying then,
Minister, is that amongst
90
DES WALKER
That would appear to be
The case, yes.
And the cameras flash wildly as Des steps down from the
plinth looking like a very broken, defeated minister.
And click.