Khutbah Ul Hajja (Sermon of Necessities)

All Praise is due to Allah: We Praise Him: We beg assistance of Him: We ask Him for forgiveness. We have faith in Him: We have reliance on Him.

We fly for refuge unto Him (to deliver us) from the mischief of our minds and from the evil consequences of our actions.

Whomever Allah directs shall not go astray: and whomever He allows to go astray, no one can guide.

We profess that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah, and we further profess that Muhammad is His Servant and His Messenger.

Oh you who believe! Fear Allah as He has the right to be feared, and do not die except as Muslims.

(O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women, and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you). [al Nisei4:1],

(O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth .07 He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger (SAW) he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell-fire and made to enter Paradise). [al-

Ahzaab 33:70]. (Sunan al-Nisaai: Kitaab al-Jumuah, Baab kayfiyyah al-khutbah).

O you who believe! Fear Allh and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allh. Verily, Allh is All-Aware of what you do[]. (18) And be not like those who forgot Allh (i.e. became disobedient to Allh) and He caused them to forget their own selves, (let them to forget to do righteous deeds). Those are the Fsiqn (rebellious, disobedient to Allh). (19) Not equal are the dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of the Paradise. It is the dwellers of Paradise that will be successful. (20)

Brothers and sisters in Islam this last week I went on field trip in my kids school to safari, zoo called, Out of Africa in Verde Valley which is about 2 hours north of here. Now we all went in a school bus. Now you might think ok this brother is going to talking about the subject of how the animals, and all of creation are ayaat or proofs of Allahs creative power as Allah Tala states in Chapter 41,
ut: (fus-si-la-

[41.53] We will show them Our signs in all the horizons and in themselves, until it is clear to them that it is the truth. Is it not sufficient that your Lord is witness over everything? '

Today I want to talk to you about some observations regarding the mixing and interactions that occurred between the boys and girls. Specifically today I want to talk about gender relations.

Gender Relations is a challenge:

First, let start out by bringing out that indeed the issue of gender relations is a challenge. It is not an easy subject, it in our nature to be attracted to the opposite gender. So this is a struggle that has occurred throughout history in all locations and ages.

In fact there is an incident even from Rasullahs SAW time which shows us this:
Imam Ahmad recorded Abu Umamah saying that a young man came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Give me permission to commit Zina (unlawful sex).'' The people surrounded him and rebuked him, saying, "Stop! Stop!'' But the Prophet said,

(Come close) The young man came to him, and he said,

(Sit down) so he sat down. The Prophet said,

(Would you like it (unlawful sex) for your mother) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,

(Neither do the people like it for their mothers.) The Prophet said,

(Would you like it for your daughter) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,

(Neither do the people like it for their daughters. ) The Prophet said,

(Would you like it for your sister) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,


(Neither do the people like it for their sisters.) The Prophet said,

(Would you like it for your paternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,

(Neither do the people like it for their paternal aunts.) The Prophet said,

(Would you like it for your maternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,

(Neither do the people like it for their maternal aunts.) Then the Prophet put his hand on him and said,

(O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart and guard his chastity.) After that the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.

So what are some lessons we can learn from this hadith: First, again we must acknowledge that controlling ones basic instinct towards the opposite gender is a challenge. And even during Rasullahs time people had a hardship dealing with it. But the difference is that they were usually successful in overcoming their difficulty, and therefore we can learn from their example. Second look how the great teacher handled the situation. He asked the people to stop rejecting him, he asked the young man come close and sit down.

Rasullah SAW did not rebuke, reject the young man, for he wanted to commit the sin, he would have simply tried to do it. But rather Rasullah SAW realized this young man is coming to him asking for help. So Rasullah handled the situation where he did not sanction him or called him a bad name, but rather appealed to his consiounous, and intellect and also made duaa for him. So let us look at what scholars mention with regards to overall guidance given with regards to mixing or interacting with opposite gender in Islam.

Overall Islamic Position on Gender Relations

The ascetic path The scholars mention to us that in Islam the middle path is advocated, as Allah Tala mentions in 2:143:

So if we one becomes too much to the right then we would become ascetic, monk like, denying the natural instinct that we have towards being attracted to the opposite gender. The free love path On the other extreme is the quote free love path. Where at any-time, and any place, with however number of people one fulfills their desires.

This kind of situation is basically what many animals do, and if practiced universally, by everyone this would lead to the total breakdown of the family and society. The general path Islam advocates is to channel our emotions, energies, and passions towards the opposite gender through the structure, institution, responsibility of marriage. This leads to strong families that produce children, and a strong, healthy families are the core units of a good, healthy, and strong societies.

Lower your gaze

One of the action items the scholars mention we can do to achieve this middle path is to, lower your gaze. In Surat An Nur ayah 30 Allah Tala states:

And in the next ayah the believing women are commanded to lower their gazes, along with other morals needed to achieve the modesty. Now the challenges we have today are to lower our gazes when we are on the streets, when we go to check our emails and pictures pop-up there, in our smart phones, in face-book, so there is challenge everywhere. But that does not mean we just give in and say we cannot overcome it.

Do not put yourself in bad situations

And this lower your gaze is not just where the challenge comes to us but to not put ourselves in a situations and company where we compromise this principal. With regards to the field trip on the bus. I saw many examples where Muslim boys and girls sat by each other, or at the back of the bus away from the teachers and talked to each other like there was no issue what-so-ever with that kind of actions. So why are we putting our selves in these situations that leads to sin, and potentially zina or fornication. Subhan-Allah I heard one brother speaking this subject who said in college he once was sitting with a group of Muslim students and they were looking at girls and saying that girl is hot, and she is 8 out of 10, oh look at that part of her, and those clothes. So this brother said how dumb, and idiotic, why am I sitting in this kind of gathering. So let us keep good company around us. Hadith perfume seller and blacksmith The Prophet reminds us of the importance of good company in this hadith (record of the Prophet :)A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace. [Bukhari, Muslim] brothers and sisters this does not apply only friends in fort of us but cyber friends like on Facebook twitter YouTube MySpace Google+ messing you see brothers and sister in Islam our beloved prophet told us our homes is
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a place safety refuge and goodness but now a days turn on TV phone computer iPod this sanctuary is destroyed and so our faith must be the same if were infort the people our in homes Allah says in surah67 verse12 veerily without a dobt forsure for those who fear the lord there master the useen of while they them selfs are unseen for them allah has promised complete forgivness and great huge reward. What does this means to our topic. Well imagine you are in your room.. Use tech. wisely. Do not make it a fitna for ourselves and kids Lower the gaze contest I remember in college my two Muslim roommate and I had a lower the gaze contest. Challenge comes to us Now I understand sometime we are forced in situations that put us to where we have to interact with the opposite gender. You might be at school and Muslim boy is assigned with a girl on a project. You are at work and have to work with the opposite gender. What we do? The scholars mention that in general only cases where it At this field trip at lunch time I was sitting with the group 7th graders that I was made in-charge of, and one of the non-Muslim mother of the kids came and sat right across from me to socialize. Subhan-Allah so I starting thinking ya Allah how do I get myself out of this situation.

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Turn the opportunity to a dawah. Never be alone with a non-mahram.

17:32

Use technology wisely Kids talking about uploading video on youtube, facebook Kids playing networking game passing the smart-phones to each other.

Conclusion the example of Thala bah

Tha'labah - The Sahabi who ran away
Thalaba Ibn Abdul Rahman was a young man at the age of 16. He always ran errands for the prophet pbuh. One day while walking though the city of Medina, he passed by a house with an open door. Out of curiosity he took a glance inside. In this glance, he saw a light curtain being blown away from a bathroom entrance were a Muslim woman was bathing. He lowered his gaze after a bit of time, with an extreme feeling of guilt and hypocrisy his mind ran. Thinking to himself, How could I be of the companions, one that is close to the prophet pbuh, one who runs his errands and be so horrible as to disrespect peoples privacy?.. He feared that Allah would reveal to the Prophet pbuh evidence of his hypocrisy. His guilt denied him to ever show his face to the prophet pbuh. So he ran away. Days went by and the prophet kept asking the other companions if they had seen Thalaba. No one had seen him. With the prophets worry about Thalaba he sent a few of the companions to look for him everywhere, among them were Omar Ibn Al Khattab and Salman Al Farisi.

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They looked everywhere in Medina, and on the out skirts of Madina, until they came about a set of mountains between Mecca and Medina where some nomads where herding sheep. The companions asked the nomads if they had seen a young man with Thalabas characteristics. They told the companions about a weeping boy. He had been here for 40 days. He came down from the mountains once a day weeping and drank the milk they would offer him. Then he went back up the mountains weeping, crying, always asking for Allah for forgiveness, and saying words of repentance. So the hid and companions waited until he came down and watched him. So Talaba came down, looking sad, crying, he had lost weight. His countenance reflected sorrow as he drank the milk that was mixed with his tears. The companions insisted that they take him back to the Prophet pbuh, But Talaba refused and asked them if Allah had revealed verses saying he was a hypocrite. They told him that they had no knowledge of any such verses. He was taken back to Medina where the Prophet pbuh went to see him at his home. When Thalaba saw Rasullah he become more scared and asked, Again if Allah had put him among the hypocrites or revealed that he was. The Prophet pbuh assured him that there were no such verses. Thalaba started crying even more, then Rasullah laid out Thalabas tired, weak body and placed Thalabas head on his lap. He said, Oh Prophet of Allah remove the head of a sinner, and transgressor from your thigh, I am lessor and not deserving. The Prophet pbuh, Said no and then asked him, Ya Thalaba what do you wish for? Thalaba said, I wished for the mercy of Allah Tala. Rasullah SAW then asked, What are you afraid of? He said, I am afraid of the punishment of Allah Tala Rasullah then asked, What do you want? Thalaba respond I want the forgivenss of Allah So, Rasullah made dua for him, suddenly Thalaba jolted and shook and told Rasullah I feel as though ants are walking between my flesh and bones. The prophet told him it was death and his time had come. He witnessed while Thalabas head was on his lap, Thalaba proclaim There is no god worthy of worship other than Allah, and that Mohamed pbuh is the messenger of Allah. The Prophet pbuh washed Thalaba and carried him to the grave.

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On the way to the burial site for Thalaba, the prophet pbuh walked on his tippy toes as though he were in a crowd. When Omar asked ya Rasullah why are you walking on your tippy toe when the people have given you room, Rasullah responded and said Oh Omar may Allah have mercy upon you, I have no space left on account of the angels walking beside, and crowding this funeral procession. Brothers and Sisters in Islam the companion Anas was one live a long time after Rasullah, and in one of his statements to the generation that came after the sahabah that you take some sins like a straw, or in other words so insignificant while at the time of Rasullah we use to consider them deadly. Ibn- Masood, A believer sees a sin a mountain, while the sinners see the sin like a fly on the nose that you just shoo away. Subhanallah, Thalaba became like this after seeing a naked woman, but imagine us who see this kind of thing all the time? We've become so desensitized to the whole 'sex sells' world that we live in and don't have the same reaction as Tha'labah.

Subhanallah. May Allah guide us all. Ameen.

What is permissible and what is not? What is considered free mixing? - Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc) - Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together. - Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity. - Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary. Why is it like this? - Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage. - Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families. - Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt. - Prevention of children being born outside of marriage. - Prevention of families being broken up. The Evidence Allah says: "Nor come nigh to adultery".

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Allah says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and

guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Noble Quran 24:30-31] Allah says: "And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs." [Noble Quran 33:53]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that

Satan is the third party with them."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "Do not enter into the

company of women." A man then asked him: "What about her male inlaws?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "The in-law is the most dangerous".
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "It is better for one of you to

be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman." Allah says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Noble Quran 33:32]. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]
Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Sahih alBukhari] It was related in al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Ka'bah along with the men. `A'ishah used to go around the Ka'bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka'bah. `A'ishah refused to do so. [Sahih al-Bukhari] One of `Ayshah's handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka'bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". `Ayshah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing

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your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allah Akbar" as you passed by". [Musnad al-Shafi'i] Punishment for Zina In this life Fornication is 100 lashes

"The male and female who commit fornication -flog each of them with one hundred lashes, and let not compassion for the two of them keep you from complying with Allah's religion, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their punishment." [Noble Quran 24:2]
Adultery is death The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not permitted to shed the

blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim] The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When someone commits Zina or drinks wine, Allah removes his faith from him, just as a person takes his shirt off over his head"

In the Hereafter The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah

will not speak to nor look at nor purify three types of people: an old man who commits Zina, a lying king and a vainglorious poor person...." The Prophet said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like and oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below. I asked: 'Who are these, O Gabriel?' He replied, 'Males and females who have committed fornication.'" [Bukhari] The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If someone commits Zina with a married women, in the grave there will be a punishment on him and on her equal to half the punishment of this Ummah...." The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck. If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: 'I did what was forbidden.' Allah Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: 'What did I do?' His tongue will witness against him saying, 'I said what was forbidden'; his hands will speak and say, 'We reached for what was forbidden'; each of his feet will say. 'I went to a forbidden place.'; and his private parts will say, 'I did it.' An one of the guardian angels will say, 'I heard it.' and the
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other guardian angel will say, 'I wrote it,' and Allah Most High will say, 'I knew it but I concealed it.' Then He will say 'My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!'"

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