Marital Pollutions Sanitised by Daniel A Oben

Heavenly Realm Publishing House
Copyright 2012 by Heavenly Realm Publishing House The Great Walk Book Series
All rights reserved.
This book or parts of this book may not be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law.
ISBN: 0-1985 2010001
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations marked RV are from the Revise Version of the Bible
Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations marked GW are from the Gods Word Version of the Bible.
1. MARITAL DISSOLUTION.01 2. MARRIAGE A TRIPARTITE COVENANT..11 3. PRE- MARITAL POLLUTANTS......25 4. PREMARITAL SEX A PARAMOUNT TOXIN TO MARRIAGE..39 5. GENDER EQUALITY AND MARRIAGE...70 6. ADULTERY ..83 7. MATRIMONIAL VIOLENCE109 8. INSUFFICIENT FINANCES POLLUTES MARRIAGE..118
9. SEXUAL OBLIGATION..144 10. MISPLACED PRIORITY....151 11. THE ULTIMATE DISINFECTANT.156
Marital Pollutions Sanitized
Divorce rates in societies around the world are on the raise, the rates at which people get married also keeps dropping. In most cultures divorce used to be looked at or treated as a taboo; as a no go area but as days go by people are becoming more familiar to it, to the extent that it is anticipated and planned for by couples prior to marriage. Not only unbelievers are caught up with these disturbing trends but Christians are equally trapped in the same challenges and even record higher divorce figures than non-believers in some societies. The society depends on marriage for its success, families, churches, organization, business, governments;
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nations will only function effectively if marriage as the pioneer institution created by God is stable. It is rather unfortunate how individuals and groups are devaluing marriage, to the extent that divorce is viewed as civilization. Divorce is gaining more reckoning, On TV most icons which the societies looks up to, get divorced almost after three years. The hectic nature and size of the expanding cities prevents divorced couples from the former fierce looks given to divorcees from relatives and friends. Financial freedom, the favorable legal atmosphere, the misconception of the sanctity of marriage, wrong doctrine and philosophies are all tools, coupled with other pollutants used by Satan to dissolve marital bonds across the world. For example the divorce rates in South Africa has increased steadily after each decade, in 2009 alone 30.763 divorce case were officially granted by 12 major courts. In 2010, 22.956 marriages ended up in divorce. It is worth noting that 11 0639(48.2%) of 2010 divorce cases were from marriages that were solemnized by religious rites and 9387(40.9%) by civil rites. European countries experienced about 2.5 divorces per 1,000 married people in 1960, by 2002, most
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European countries had divorce rates around 5 per 1,000 married people or higher. In Australia the likelihood that a marriage will finish in divorce has been growing over time. Based on the nuptiality tables, around 28% of marriages entered into in 19851987 could be estimated to end in divorce. The numbers increased to 33% for all marriages entered into in 20002002. For divorced men, the average period that could be expected to be spent divorced increased from 11 years for those divorcing in 19851987 to 17 years for those divorcing in 20002002, while for women divorcing in each period, the average time spent divorced increased from 18 years to 24 years. In Japan the divorce rated showed an upward trend since 1960, however it increased alarmingly when in 2002 it reached a record of 290 000 broken marriages. And since then the numbers has remained almost the same, in 2010 it was 251 000 And in the United States of America there has been a dramatic increase in the divorce figures, probably the numbers moved from 10% to more than 50% since 1960 white(1999:904) the first marriage for women from 1955 to 1959, about 79 percent marked their 15th anniversary, compared with only 57
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percent for women who married for the first time from 1985 to 1989. These figures demonstrates the alarming divorce proportions around the world; these are the estimated legal divorce record, if a proper recording is done on all the illegal divorce and separations only God knows the right figures. The thought provoking question is do you want your marriage to be counted among these divorce cases or if it has already been recorded would you want to stay that way or still will you want your next marriage to end up in a divorce? The devils goal behind divorce is to frustrate the objective of the formation and the family. Divorce come with a serious package from hell, it comes with depression on the couples, consider all the emotional investments, some made as many as ten years or even more. Think of Gods Judgments that awaits divorce, imagine the emotional torture children will have to go through for the rest of their lives. Regardless of how genuine or warranted the rationale for ending a matrimonial bond may be, marital dissolution is not accepted by God. The negative consequences are abound, on the path of the children, as couples become single the effective care provision over their children drops,
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this gives room for juvenile delinquency. And the parents themselves are now left exposed to adultery and lots of other social and psychological wiles maneuvered by the devil. So in any marriage break the only beneficiary is Lucifer, no matter how much strategy is been drawn to stay away from all these unending misery. Without divine intervention, it may even end up affecting the marriages of the children in the future, they grow up with the mentality and philosophy that divorce is a solution to marital challenges. This is why most children from divorced homes may also end up in broken marriages if they do not get themselves acquainted with the scriptures and surrender their lives to Christ. Divorce is a great scheme from the devil to tear down and robe great men and women out of their inheritance, because a divorced couple produces a dysfunctional family, a dysfunctional family creates dysfunctional members who will not function effectively in their churches, ministries, jobs, business, organizations and government. Divorced individuals experience higher levels of depression, lower levels of life satisfaction, and more health problems than married individuals. No one is an exception if caution is not taking; even anointed Men
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of God fall in the trap of divorce. To save your marriage you will need to vividly understand what pollutes a marriage, and to be able to understand that the devil has a principal role to play, that is to steal, kill and to destroy (John 10:10) every marriage through his carefully planned strategies. After the beautifully organized weddings, happy homes, nice kids, after some years all what you have built should not be crushed down to nothing through divorce, as it has happened time without number. As you thoroughly go through this book apply the principles thereafter, you will not only shield or fix your marriage but you will be able to reach out to other marriages in need of such therapy and as such ,you will prevent marriages from breaking up, what God has put together you will support it to stay together.
Marriage is Indissoluble Originally God created marriage as the first human institution; And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who 1made them at the beginning cmade them male and female, 5 and said, dFor this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and ethe two shall become one flesh ? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.1
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24 fTherefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 2
gbe 2joined
1 c
NU created Gen. 1:27; 5:2; [Mal. 2:15] d Gen. 2:24; Mark 10:59; Eph. 5:31 e [1 Cor. 6:16; 7:2] 1 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 19:4-6 f Matt. 19:5; Eph. 5:31 g Mark 10:68; 1 Cor. 6:16 7
By two becoming one it means the couples seized to be identified before God as separate individuals, they are considered to be one flesh. This is a life covenant which should not be terminated irrespective of the challenges. Now to the married I command, yet not I but the iLord: jA wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 3
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This is the rule for marriage; divorce is not tolerated for any reason. Out of lack of a deeper understanding some believers are creating an escape from this rule by proving some grounds for divorce. Again I emphasize there is no reason for divorce.
2 2
Lit. cling The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:24 i Mark 10:610
j
Mal. 2:14; [Matt. 5:32]
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 7:10-11
Proponents of divorce for believers always quote this scripture; Furthermore it has been said, kWhoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you that lwhoever divorces his wife for any reason except 3sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.4
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However this requires a lot of caution for scriptures us to show mercy and forgiveness in an immeasurable degree; Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: (Luk 6:36-37 KJV)
k
Deut. 24:1; [Jer. 3:1]; Mark 10:2
[Matt. 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18; Rom. 7:3]; 1 Cor. 7:11 Or fornication
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 5:31-32 9
The offended spouse has a responsibility to see to it that all necessary measures are sort to save his or her partner from committing the same sin. Mercy will allow such a partner to go extra mile rather than draw conclusions for divorce. Besides Jesus was talking to unbeliever, people who were not in Christ, hence the law was still at work; Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. (Gal 3:24 KJV) Once any man is in Christ he or she operates in the authority of Christ and can deal even with the forces behind adultery and divorce in general.
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A leading Pollutant to marriage is the couples inability to acknowledge and demonstrate their devoutness to God Almighty through his son Christ Jesus. God is the creator of marriage, so then when the creatures live out the creator in their daily operation of the matrimonial office then it creates chaos, which is capable of tearing that marriage bond apart irrespective of the social emotional or financial investments that have been made during the marriage. The presence of our Lord Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit is meant to shield your marriage still death, from every kind of pollution. Marriage is a bond between the couple and God as a witness and foundation.
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With the presence of the Lord as a foundation in your marriage, there will be sanctification and the fear of God which will put a divine watch over you and your partner. Therefore the actions of you and your spouse will not be based on the marriage certificate, the social environment or the wedding ring but rather on divine will, which will come through the fear of the Lord. A couple that fears God will acknowledge him as a partner in the marriage. A couple that will engage Jesus in their marriage will enjoy the following benefits: Wisdom The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. (Prov 1:7 ) A lot of wisdom is needed in the running of a relationship of this magnitude, marriage. It entails daily decisions and tough choices that will either prosper or devalue the union which may eventually lead to a crash in the future. God is the giver of Wisdom through the power of the Holy Spirit. Through wisdom, couples will know how to mutually face challenges and sort out their differences without much stress and equally make decisions that will bring growth thereof, for with wisdom there comes the power of a delightful understanding which is capable of keeping couples together for as long as they live.
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Godly Offsprings One reason why couples must add the Lord in their marriage is, as a result of the kind children that God wants from the marriage, godly Offsprings. But vdid He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks wgodly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
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This explains why most marriages reproduce disobedient children who end up being a burden to both parents and the community because of the absence of God in that house holds. Couples even after holy matrimony still indulge into extra marital sex which in turns brings in children who biologically are not seeds from their marriage. Why, the couples refused to consider Jesus as the author of Marriage. A marriage which is based on Christ
v
Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4, 5 Ezra 9:2; [1 Cor. 7:14] 5 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mal 2:15
w
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Jesus as the foundation and carrying out his complete commandments will produce sanctified and God fearing kids which will pave a fulfilling future for them. God is not only looking for true worshipers but he is also seeking for godly offspring. Marriage Shall Bear Fruits Before couples come together they each have expectation of peace, joy, commitment and just so much more even on the socio economic aspects. These prospects can only be met if this relation is built in Christ Jesus. in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.6 It is the will of the Father that you enjoy the best of your matrimonial life from every aspect, irrespective of the challenges. The fruits of Joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, financial prosperity and good health
d
4 dAbide
John 17:23; Eph. 3:17; [Col. 1:23]
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Jn 15:4
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can only be fully attained with couples that stand together and abide in the Lord. The reason why marriages suffer is as a result lack of connection between couples and Christ Jesus. This does not matter if you did your wedding in the Holy land or the fact that a wedding was blessed by the most anointed pastors of your generation. As long as marriage couples do not abide in Christ, their marriages will not yield its expected fruits according to the will of God. Now the Question is what does it mean to abide in Christ Jesus?
0 mIf
you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Fathers commandments and abide in His love. 7
Abiding in Christ will means acknowledge and live according to the precepts of the word of God. If a couple will live according to the word they shall bear
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John 14:15
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fruits in due season, for their marriage will be like a tree planted by the side of a river. An unquenchable Love By understanding and knowing the role of God in a marriage, couple will know and experience the love the Father has for his children here on earth, a sacrificial love, a demonstrated love, a love that is not momentary, that goes beyond emotions and feelings and finally, a love that last forever. For a marriage to succeed, it is required of the couples to have both agape and erotic and this balance can only be established if fatherly love from God is will understood.
12 oThis
is My pcommandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 qGreater love has no one than this, than to lay down ones life for his friends. 8
By loving the Lord couples will learn how to also extend this sacrificial love to their partners. Through
o p
John 13:34; 1 John 3:11 Rom. 12:9 q Eph. 5:2; 1 John 3:16 8 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Jn 15:12-13 16
this love between couples will grow rather depreciate despite challenges faced. If this degree of love is concern then the issue of I guess I didnt love her anymore will be totally out of place for love rooted in Christ Jesus never quenches. This alone is sufficient to make marriages stand the test of times when couples learn to lay down their lives for one another.
Surplus to Source the Bond Increasingly marriages are caught with the socio economic challenges which have affected most couples, lack is not Gods will for any marriage from the unset Adam and Eve never suffered any economic hardship or struggle in the Garden of Eden when the Lord instituted marriage till they decided to push God away from their marriage before struggling sets in. If Adam and Eve could enjoy such privileges, then what of you who stands on a new covenant in Christ Jesus and have the Holy Spirit available right inside of you. So automatically there is every provision when a marriage is linked up in C333hrist Lord.
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If you abide in Me, and My words habide in you, iyou 2will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.9
By abiding in Christ Jesus there will be an abundant flow of prosperity to take care of every socio economic need. Therefore you shall keep every commandment which I command you today, that you may dbe strong, and go in and possess the land which you cross over to possess, 9 and ethat you may prolong your days in the land fwhich the Lord 4swore to give your fathers, to them and their
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h i
1 John 2:14 John 14:13; 16:23 2 NU omits you will 9 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Jn 15:7 d Deut. 31:6, 7, 23; Josh. 1:6, 7 e Deut. 4:40; 5:16, 33; 6:2; Prov. 10:27 f Deut. 9:5 4 promised
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descendants, ga land flowing with milk and honey. 10 When couples walk with the Lord they shall always possess all what God has destined for them. The resources such money for accommodation, utility bills, cars, cloths, fees for the children and a desired life style will always be available through Christ Jesus. All the inheritance from Abram awaits those who will just create a connection between their marriage and Christ.
Divorce becomes impossible When there is the fear of God, divorce is never a way out no matter the challenges faced. Though only betrothed, Joseph wanted to initiate a divorce to Mary the mother of Jesus when he learnt that Mary was pregnant, but Joseph was a man who always did what was right in the eyes of God, he did not want to disgrace Mary publicly; so he made plans to break the engagement privately.
g
Ex. 3:8 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Dt 11:8-9
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Joseph her husband, being 6a just man, and not wanting zto make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. 20 But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, afor that which is 7conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.11 Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife, 12 Here we see a strong power of Gods communication, though Joseph had planned a divorce thereby missing out in the destiny of the messiah. God sets in to change it. Numerous marriages had ended based on suspicion alone, and even when real offences are committed there is always a way out however due to
z
19Then
24Then
Deut. 24:1; John 8:4, 5 Luke 1:35 7 Lit. begotten 11 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 1:19-20 12 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 1:24
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lack of a divine touch even if Gods speaks, through the word or directly to the couples they will not understand because couples exclude God in the functionality of their marriages, God will always put a stop to any marriage melt down for he hates divorce. He is a God who never runs short of alternatives. There is always a way forward for any marital pollution. Peace and Joy Originally God instituted marriage after the creation of man. It is worth nothing that when man was created he initially did not know what marriage was all about it was God who brought in the woman and set the foundation for marriage. The couple was answerable to God and thats why the Garden of Eden had rules Gen 2:15-17 because he remains God. This explains why Solomon could not satisfy God because he did not make God the shepherd or pilot of his marriage. The success of marriage centers on putting God as a priority, the husband, wife, fianc or fiance comes after your fellowship with God and the fundamental truth is God will never make you hate your spouse. The more love a couple places on Jesus, the Bond
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that binds them as husbands automatically becomes stronger.

sMy
and
wives
flesh and my heart fail; But God is the 7strength of my heart and my tportion forever.
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if you acknowledge the Lord Jesus as a foundation in a marriage your heart will never be broken and your strength will never fail to easily give up on your partner and take a wrong cause. When couples place a higher value to their spouse than to God that becomes Idolatry, which is poisonous to that relationship It is the Lord that acts as a witness to the covenant Yet you say, For what reason? Because the Lord has been witness Between you and tthe wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; uYet she is your companion
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s
Ps. 84:2 Lit. rock t Ps. 16:5 13 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ps 73:26 t Prov. 5:18; Jer. 9:2; Mal. 3:5
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And your wife by covenant.

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By acting as a witness the Lord will actually protect the marriage union beyond the comprehension of the couples. For God neither slumbers nor sleeps. The stream remains the best form of water for human consumption, in order to sustain a stream the source from which the water comes out must always be protected to keep the water clean and reliable. So it is with marriage for a marriage relationship to stay healthy the source from which marriage came from must be held with the highest regard to keep the bond healthy. The privileges of having a marital bond directly linked up to Christ are just beyond measure. The fullness of marriage can only be attained if the potter is in control of the pot, but if the pot departs from the potter then then pot will be heading for destruction. For every house is builded by some one; but he that built all things is God. (Heb 3:4 RV)
u
Prov. 2:17 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mal 2:14
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In as much as you try all your efforts to build a marriage, God is the ultimate builder. Surrender it all to Christ, there will be a new beginning.
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Pre-marital pollutants are infiltrations that destroy marriages even before a matrimonial convent is established. It is certain, sometimes couples destroy their marital union before they even seal the bond that binds them as husbands and wives. It does not tie to a particular age group, ethnic group or nation these errors keep reoccurring across the world almost on a daily basis. The Power of Choice as a Motive for Marriage The aspect of choosing a spouse has been a serious contamination to marriages around the world. This
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alone is a serious pollutant to marriage. People, even believers have relied on the flesh in making a choice as to whom they will share the covenant of marriage with. Initially when God created man it was God who saw the need for a helper for Adam;
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And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; xI will make him a helper comparable to him.15
From the quotation the word suitable means it was not just any woman that Adam needed but a one which will be in accordance with Gods choice and purpose. No suitable helper was found from all creation.
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So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 16
God then got a wife for Adam.

x
1 Cor. 11:8, 9; 1 Tim. 2:13 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:18 16 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:20
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And the LORD God caused a adeep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He 8made into a woman, band He cbrought her to the man. 17
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Marriages suffer as a result of a poor foundation. Getting a marriage partner was not Adams responsibility, God knew he needed a helper and got him one, and Adam accepted Gods offer named her woman because she was formed out of his rib. When God created every man or woman it is his obligation to get a spouse for you and all you have to do is ask and wait for it to be delivered to you. With faith and trust in the Lord, at the right time the right person will be delivered if you steadfastly and earnestly wait upon him.
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a
And Adam said:
Gen. 15:12; 1 Sam. 26:12
Lit. built Gen. 3:20; 1 Tim. 2:13 c Heb. 13:4 17 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:21-22
b
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This is now dbone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called 9Woman, Because she was etaken out of 1Man.
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So many have bypassed God and many are still polluting their marriages before they ever get started, once this fundamental notion of counting on God for a spouse is absent then it could serve as an everlasting pollutant which may end up in divorce. Today people get married to gratify just the flesh, such as erotic sensation and lust which they term love, Money, Class, wealth, race, tribe, religion, politics, cult, blackmail, social networking websites and more, once the reason for getting married to a particular man or woman is not based on divine choice, the marriage is already highly polluted and its likely to suffer a shipwreck if couples dont quickly seek Christ Jesus as the author and finisher of their marriage
d 9
Gen. 29:14; Eph. 5:2830 Heb. Ishshah
1 Cor. 11:8, 9 Heb. Ish 18 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:23 28
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This was further demonstrated in the marriage of Isaac. When time came for Isaac to get a partner Abraham knew that it was not his duty to fetch a wife for his son Isaac, though physically he sent his servant he prayed earnestly to God that the angel of the Lord should lead his servant so that a divine choice will be made. The Lord God of heaven, who jtook me from my fathers house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, kTo your 2descendants I give this land, lHe will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. 19
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The prayers did not end with Abraham; his servant prayed a deeper prayer when the actual time came for him to get a wife for Isaac. Then he qsaid, O Lord God of my master Abraham, please rgive me success this day,
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j
Gen. 12:1; 24:3 Gen. 12:7; 13:15; 15:18; 17:8; Ex. 32:13; Deut. 1:8; 34:4; Acts 7:5 2 Lit. seed l Gen. 16:7; 21:17; 22:11; Ex. 23:20, 23; 33:2; Heb. 1:4, 14 19 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 24:7 q Gen. 24:27, 42, 48; 26:24; 32:9; Ex. 3:6, 15
k
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and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 Behold, here sI stand by the well of water, and tthe daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. 14 Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, Please let down your pitcher that I may drink, and she says, Drink, and I will also give your camels a drinklet her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And uby this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master. And it happened, vbefore he had finished speaking, that behold, wRebekah, 3who was born to Bethuel, son of xMilcah, the wife of Nahor, Abrahams brother, came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.
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r s
Gen. 27:20; Neh. 1:11; Ps. 37:5 Gen. 24:43
Ex. 2:16 Judg. 6:17, 37; 1 Sam. 14:10; 16:7; 20:7; 2 Kin. 20:9; Prov. 16:33; Acts 1:26 v Is. 65:24 w Gen. 24:45; 25:20 3 Rebecca, Rom. 9:10 x Gen. 22:20, 23
u
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That prayer was answered; Rebbecca eventually became the wife of Isaac who she was selected and acceptable by the Lord. The first step to a successful marriage is to earnestly pray to God, asking him to lead you to the right partner. Every man is purposefully assigned to a particular woman and vice versa, according to the will of God. Abraham and the servant prayed to and God responded, thats why Isaac had a successful monogamous marriage even in the Old Testament prior to the inception of the commandments God gave Moses. No amount of premarital counseling even with the best practicing psychologist, using the best techniques could be interchanged with sincere and persistent prayers asking for the right partner for a husband or a wife. Of course the God who answered Abraham and his servant and gave Isaac a wife will eventually answer your prayers. You may not be opportune enough to have a parent seeking the face
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The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 24:12-15 31
of God on your behalf as Abraham did, in such a case; you can commit yourself in direct prayers or ask a Spirit filled intercessor or pastor to pray with you and ask the Holy Spirit before you actually take a decision to fully proceed into marriage, for it is a lifetime covenant which only ends with death, for this reason you cannot afford a mistake.
Erotic Love is Not Sustainable Enough
Marriage is more than erotic love, which is simply lust for the opposite sex, it is far beyond a casual relation that exists between a man and a women. This explains why there are changes between couples who are in courtship and when they actually get married. They may turn to experience more happiness in the latter than the later, due to the complexity that surrounds matrimony. Most people get carried away by their emotions and choose their spouse based on love forgetting that there is a God who is before all things who was, who is and who is still to come. If there is any love that does not involving the consent of Jesus, then that is not love, for God is love, without him there is no love.
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things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 gIn Him was life, and hthe life was the light of men. 21 Marriage was initially created through Christ Jesus, without him in the process of building or making a choice for a spouse the fullness of joy that exist in holy matrimony will be not be fully accomplished. One may turn to ague of couples who have lived for 50 years and above and they are not believers rather did they seek the Lord in prayers prior to choosing one another for marriage? The truth is the number of years in marriage does crown a marriage successful in the eyes of God and the couples. For in him was life the light of men, he is the one who carries the light bright enough to place you in a marriage full of joy. The true destiny can only be made visible when Christ has been fully engaged in a relationship. Couples can still live for 50years but missing out the purpose which God even sent them on earth.
f
3 fAll
Ps. 33:6; [Eph. 3:9; Col. 1:16, 17; Heb. 1:2] [1 John 5:11] h John 8:12; 9:5; 12:46 21 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Jn 1:3-4 33
g
Most often couple aspire to live happily ever after, but a marriage, where couples are chosen by divine revelation they live joyfully ever after. If you are still single thank God that this pollutant will not intoxicate your marriage. And there is no creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and laid open before the eyes of him with whom we have to do. (Heb 4:13 RV) All things are naked before the Lord he knows you, he also know what is ahead of you, he know who can perfectly fit in as spouse for you the person at the time may not worth it from appearance but God Knows it all. Samson made this blunder, when he saw the philistine woman So he went up and told his father and mother, saying, I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, cget her for me as a wife. 22
2
c
Gen. 21:21 34
He did not seek the face of God prior to the marriage. Instead of the Lord using this marriage for the purpose of which marriage is meant for, it was used as an occasion to confront the philistine. And eventually this marriage did work out, the wife did not only deceive Samson by providing the answers to the riddles but the wife was also handed over to a friend who attended Samson's weeding. Judges 14:120 Despite the negative results Samson did not learn from that but still fell in love. This gave Samson a premature death which is very common in societies around the world today, relationships leading to death, because they chose the wrong partners. Solomon despite all his wisdom suffered from disobedience, fell in love and got married without consulting the Lord. King Solomon, loved many foreign woman besides pharaohs daughter and got married without the consent of the Lord. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines and his wives led him astray.
22
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Jdg 14:2
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And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it was so, when Solomon was old, dthat his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his eheart was not 1loyal to the Lord his God, fas was the heart of his father David.23
3
Getting into marriage without seeking God has serious repercussions; it is simply relying solely on the flesh to lead you into marriage. You may have to suffer the effects for life. Now the big question is, what about couples who are already onboard without a ticket? Is this why your marriage could possibly be going through so many challenges? You might have encountered some difficulties as a result of this. However our God overlooks the days of ignorance.
d e
[Deut. 17:17; Neh. 13:26] 1 Kin. 8:61 1 Lit. at peace with f 1 Kin. 9:4 23 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Ki 11:3-4
36
For it pleased the Father that min Him all the fullness should dwell, 20 and nby Him to reconcile oall things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, phaving made peace through the blood of His cross. 21And you, qwho once were alienated and enemies in your mind rby wicked works, yet now He has sreconciled 22 tin the body of His flesh through death, uto present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight (Col 1:19-23 NKJV)
19
If you did not make this step before you entered into your matrimonial convent, you have to seek the face of the Lord, and sincerely ask for forgiveness, go back to Christ for reconciliation; he paid for this error which was made by his blood, through this reconciliation his will is to have the couples holy and
m n
John 1:16 Rom. 5:1; Eph. 2:14 o 2 Cor. 5:18 p Eph. 1:10 q [Eph. 2:1] r Titus 1:15 s 2 Cor. 5:18, 19 t 2 Cor. 5:18; [Eph. 2:1416] u [Eph. 5:27]; Col. 1:28 37
blameless above reproach in his site. He will show mercy when he sees a broken heart. If that happen when you had not given your life to Jesus, by confessing Christ Jesus you have washed away old things. It is the earnest desire that all things should be put under him, by confessing this omission, this pollutant will be taken away from your marriage.
38
Premarital sex, is gradually becoming a norm in most societies even communities which condemned it in the past are now considering it as part of their cultures, It has a very wide champagne over almost every media organ, there is almost no movie without some trace of the propagation of sex outside or before marriage, kids are brought up with this notion and it has become part of them. To the extent that parents encourage their children from as early as fifteen to bring home their boy or girl friend as a means to monitor them and give them a sound sex education. Children on their own start engaging into sexual activities from as early as twelve years old while the median (average) for marriage in most
39
major societies is 30 for men and 28 for women, so then do a check and estimate how many of such relationships a child of that nature and age gets before he or she actually gets married at a later age, if at all they do or how many times an individual is been defied prior to marriage. Despite all this immorality and the high levels of literacy, it is funny that, the right name is not often used to describe this satanic act, instead people stick to words like boyfriend, girlfriend fianc, fling, flirt, just passing a night at his or her house, cohabitation. Just to try or just to catch fun without calling the right wordfornication. This is not limited to the young stars or middles aged men and women out of marriage, or widow or widower or all caught in the same atmosphere of gratifying their sinful nature. It does not end there parents, teachers, guidance, religious leaders, church members, families condone with it. This whole scenario is a sign of the end of time, Christs coming is closer. However fornication, cohabitation or premarital sex is a paramount contributor to marital instability and divorce across the world.
40
How Does Premarital Sex or Relationships Affects Marriage The Mystery behind Sex A spiritual man judges all things; in fornication, adultery or in any kind of extra marital affair sex is beyond what transpires physically between a man and women or in homosexuals. There is an evil force or evil spirits that drives these activities across the world. That is why in most cases of fornication (even adultery) or sexual promiscuity victims are often controlled beyond their human understanding; they dont just know how it happened. Consciousness is only regained after the act has been done. Yet normally this will not stop such a person from still indulging into sin through one immoral act or another. But the truth is that they are motivated by the spirit of lust who is behind all sexual immorality. Then aone of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and talked with me, saying 1to me, Come, bI will show you the judgment of cthe great harlot dwho sits on
a
Rev. 1:1; 21:9 NU, M omit to me b Rev. 16:19 c Is. 1:21; Jer. 2:20; Nah. 3:4; Rev. 17:5, 15; 19:2
1
41
many waters, 2 ewith whom the kings of the earth committed fornication, and fthe inhabitants of the earth were made drunk with the wine of her fornication. 24 From the above scripture we can identify the force behind sexual activities. Of the great harlot who sits on many waters It is a spirit in charge of fornication maneuvering the kings and the inhabitants of the earth. Who are the kings, the kings are the believers whom God has entrusted all manner of treasures as he promised Abraham and the inhabitants of the earth are unbelievers. and has pmade us 3kings and priests to His God and Father, qto Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 25 Not only unbelievers suffer from this tragic situation but even believers. Fornication is not of the Lord
6
d e
Jer. 51:13; Rev. 17:15 Rev. 2:22; 18:3, 9 f Jer. 51:7; Rev. 14:8 24 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Re 17:1-2 p 1 Pet. 2:5, 9 3 NU, M a kingdom q 1 Tim. 6:16 25 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Re 1:6 42
and this spirit is in charge, each time the act of fornication or adultery takes place, what happens is not just between the partners but spiritually victims ends up having sex not just among themselves but with this woman, the spirit behind immorality Babylon the great, the mother of Harlots and of the abominations of the earth. The most devastating of this act between fornicators or adulterers and this spirit is that there is an exchange. Ordinarily no one sleeps or buys sex from a prostitute without making payments likewise this great harlot. There is a great interchange after the sexual activity. The riches of the fornicators are been freely compensated to the spirit, the great harlot as a reward for sexual pleasures. The woman jwas arrayed in purple and scarlet, kand adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls, lhaving in her hand a golden cup mfull of abominations and the filthiness of 2her fornication. 5 And on her forehead a name was written:
4
j
Ezek. 28:13; Rev. 18:12, 16 Dan. 11:38 l Jer. 51:7; Rev. 18:6 m Rev. 14:8 2 M the fornication of the earth
k
43

nMYSTERY,
BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. I saw othe woman, drunk pwith the blood of the saints and with the blood of qthe martyrs of Jesus. And when I saw her, I marveled with great amazement.
6
26
This great harlot initially was never rich, the devil and his demons are not rich, all their riches comes from abundance God has bestowed on man however due to ignorance and irresponsibility on the part of man, almost all his riches are stolen by the devil and sex immorality is just one among many sources through which the devil stills from men here on earth. As the Garden of Eden was taken away from Adam and Eve through the structures of Satan so too is man in the contemporary world still losing his inheritance which Christ obtained with his blood on the Cross. Despite the abundance that has delivered
n
2 Thess. 2:7; Rev. 1:20; 17:7 Rev. 18:24 p Rev. 13:15 q Rev. 6:9, 10 26 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Re 17:3-6
o
44
to his people, it been traded through sexual immorality. So many lives have been lost through sex lost as a result of these diabolic forces. It is interesting to note this spirit is drunk with the blood of the saints, they are equally indulging in premarital sexual activities or sex outside marriage. This is very real I have had several opportunities by the grace of our lord Jesus to hear these demons confess their mission here on earth.
10The
thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. 27
However through her merchandise the great harlot now possesses the kingly inheritance and riches which Jesus the Kings of kings gave man on the Cross of Calvary. of gold and silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, every kind of citron wood, every kind of object of ivory, every kind of object
27
12 ymerchandise
y
Ezek. 27:1222; Rev. 17:4 45
of most precious wood, bronze, iron, and marble; 13 and cinnamon and incense, fragrant oil and frankincense, wine and oil, fine flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, and bodies and zsouls of men28 All these are loots which the great harlots get from victims of fornication and adultery. These applies to anybody who indulge in premarital sexual relation or extra marital affairs irrespective of those who are in serious relationships , engagements, or married in court or any other form of marriage without establishing a holy matrimony in a believing church, or Spirit filled brethren or with an anointed man of God . So when people engage in premarital sex prior to marriage they virtually loss everything; I mean all their inheritance to the devil.
15Then
he said to me, fThe waters which you saw, where the harlot sits, gare peoples, multitudes, nations, and tongues. 29
1 Chr. 5:21; Ezek. 27:13 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Re 18:12-13 g Rev. 13:7
28
46
He holds captive on multitudes of people, nations and their resources from every perspective spiritually, financially, physical, socially and psychologically. This captivity is capable of holding an individual down for as long as it is not broken. This will results to a person losing his or her true identity and sight of who the rightfully godly selected husband or wife is even if the person shows up, he or she can be preferred to another due lack of a spiritual foresight to discern the will of God as long as the bondage is not broken in Christ Jesus. This often comes through neglect of personal prayers, luck-warmness in other spiritual activities like fellowships, studying and meditating on the word, counseling, prayer meetings, hanging out with friends who can give good counsel and giving generously. These are often mechanism which the powers of darkness will release upon a man or woman when he or whom they are holding hostage. It takes an extra ordinary grace and covenant with God to find a rightful partner and keep a marriage under such an atmosphere. There is nothing as pathetic in marriage as getting married to the wrong
29
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Re 17:15 47
person as a husband or as wife, it can be hell on earth. Through the loss of connection with Christ Jesus through fornication or any kind of sexual immorality prior to marriage, there is a high probability of one making a wrong choice which will make such a marriage highly intoxicated. And through these spirits they will carefully make a way for divorce if care is taken. These forces found their way in through sex. One thing is sure a means through which fornicators and adulterers pay spiritually for their sexual activity is losing their physical fitness to the devil. Fornication or sex as a whole outside marriage has the highest form of transferable and deadly diseases in the world, through sex there is an endless list of sicknesses such as HIV/Aids, the list is endless Such illnesses have virtually stopped people from getting married to their destined spouse after medical examinations prior to marriage. In other cases, some has dishonestly walked into marriage with terminal sexually transmitted infections which eventually gets the other innocent partner contaminated. Such couples end up getting to deal with particular health issue which they got prior to their marriage as a result of premarital sex. With such health challenges irrespective of what is done
48
there will be a stigma and a pollutant which will retard the effectiveness of the marital relationship. Besides terminal cases some ladies go through several abortions prior to marriage and at the end of the day it may lead to barrenness beyond the medical practice can handle. Men on the other hand also contract disease that hinders fertility or makes them impotent hence having a negative effect on child bearing process. Oh how much joy children add to a marriage, without which sometimes couples go through really hard times whereas this can be avoided, if sex should have been kept for an appointed time. The environment and the times in which we live should never conform us to a particular lifestyle which is contrary to the word of God.
2
And cdo not be conformed to this world, but dbe transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may eprove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.30
Matt. 13:22; Gal. 1:4; 1 John 2:15 Eph. 4:23; [Titus 3:5] e [1 Thess. 4:3] 30 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ro 12:2
d
49
Condoning and involving in premarital sex is polluting your marriage with health problems for you and your spouse. But if you can have a new mind set then the goodness, the originally of marriage and the perfect will of God will rest upon your marriage and those whom you can teach. I pray for you to have an understanding of the knowledge and the mystery behind sex. Financially the great harlot also strips her victims from all prosperity has to offer, this will often lead to loss of finances, making wrong carrier decisions, difficulties in business and general financial struggle at times for the rest of ones life if proper spiritual attention is not taken thereafter. If such a person walks into marriage there will be financial challenges faced in that relationships, and financial prosperity is an important ingredient to a successful marriage. The absence of cash flow in a marriage is a toxic to that relation which most often this curse is acquired from sex prior to marriage from the great harlot. Most people loss their spiritual sensitivity from sexual immorality, especially if such an individual is not highly rooted with the word, or surrounded with spiritual men and women. The resulting effects from such a disconnection with Christ is sufficient to wreck any marriage.
50
If you have ever found yourself in such a situation then you need go back to Jesus for repentance. With him all things are possible he is able to fix you up if the earnest desire for a new life in Christ Jesus is sort. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 dFor the weapons eof our warfare are not 1carnal but fmighty in God gfor pulling down strongholds, 5 hcasting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ 31
3
So in order to stand the challenges of marriage couples constantly need Christ day in day out to battle with the devil and all his strategies but most often this power is lost to the devil through premarital sex. This makes most married couples powerless in front of the devil in their marriages and
d e
Eph. 6:13 1 Cor. 9:7; [2 Cor. 6:7]; 1 Tim. 1:18 1 of the flesh f Acts 7:22 g Jer. 1:10; [2 Cor. 10:8; 13:10] h 1 Cor. 1:19 31 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 2 Co 10:3-5 51
this often ends up with a divorce if Christ is seriously sort after. The revelation of behind sex is exposed in detailed in my book, the Mystery behind sex Sex prior to marriage is sinful not only because it destroys future marriages of culprits. Cohabitors who do marry are more at risk for subsequent divorce than those who did not cohabit before marriage. In the United Sates the risk of divorce is for marriages is 50 percent higher for cohabitors prior t than for non-cohabitators. The Divorce rate is even higher with previously married cohabitators and serial cohabitators (those who have several cohabiting experience) there are some indications that divorce rate is higher for couples who live together for a longer period of time, especially over three years prior to marriage. Premarital sex relationships develops an altitude in people to cut off relationships when faced with challenges, this paved the way for divorce when they eventually get married, they become familiar to quitting a relationship due to previous break ups. Sex before marriage causes late marriages, most often people walk into such marriages as a byproduct of an already shattered relationships(s). As times unfolds memories and bonds in previous
52
relationships are revived, this opens doors for adultery with old time sexual partners further creating an increasing divorce figures and Social chaos. Sometimes people might have made one or two errors around this teaching on sexuality. Some of the challenges couples are facing todays resulted from the relations that occurred prior to the wedding. As such their marriages are gradually perishing despite all efforts. Preparation for a good marriage begins from childhood, if this process is interrupted at any point in time it affects the marriage. However this does not allow room for continuity, repent ask God for his mercy, teach those who are still growing.
5
I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. 32
Change pray for those you find in similar situations and especially for your dependence. Teach them with the Holy Scriptures and constant fellowships in spirit filled church they will come to understand. Virginity before marriage is very much attainable for it is the will of God. By entering into sexual activities
32
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Lk 13:5 53
prior to marriage you are simply preparing a ground for divorce or for an unfilled marriage.
Sex for an appointed time Sex was created by God and its a good gift, nonetheless it was created with conditions that must be reached prior to any sexual activity: It must be joined by God , 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
33
How does God join it together? Through Men of God in the body of Christ. As ambassadors of Christ they stand to utter blessings from the Lord for God to be a witness to the marriage. Yet you say, For what reason? Because the Lord has been witness Between you and tthe wife of your youth,
33
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 19:6 t Prov. 5:18; Jer. 9:2; Mal. 3:5 54
With whom you have dealt treacherously; uYet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 34 When a man and woman has established a permanent matrimonial covenant which involves Christ Jesus. A life time covenant must be formed, till death do us part. woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives.35 Therefore sex only comes after all these conditions have been met with, outside these all other sexual activity is considered sinful by the Lord Almighty.
2For athe
Prov. 2:17 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mal 2:14 a 1 Cor. 7:39 35 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ro 7:2 55
34
Life without Sex
With the high degree of sexual promiscuity in the society believers and unbelievers alike keep wondering if virginity is possible or if one already caught with the act of sexual relationship can willfully cut off and become clean before the Lord. It looks difficult by human effort but surrendering ones life to Christ Jesus, making a conscious decision and the effort to stand with him will deliver any one from lust or protect his or her virginity. A turn around decision must be made in the first place before the grace of God will follow I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I 1look upon a ayoung woman? 36 After such a choice like the one Job made God will be gladly release the necessary grace to sustain to the end.
1 a
look intently or gaze [Matt. 5:28] 36 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Job 31:1 56
But those who bwait on the LORD cShall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.37
31
By staying away from every form of sexual uncleanliness you are simply waiting upon the Lord, from the above scripture, the desire and decision comes from you and the strength comes from the Lord. He will release sufficient grace to withstand temptations, (The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment unto the day of judgment; (2Pe 2:9 RV)) to wait until the appointed time without being weary or fainting as much as the desire and the decision still stands. Having made such a decision and waiting upon the Lord does not grant you immunity
b c
Is. 30:15; 49:23 [Job 17:9]; Ps. 103:5; [2 Cor. 4:810, 16] 37 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Is 40:31
57
to temptations. Trails will come but there will always strength from God
cHe
will not allow your foot to 1be moved; dHe who keeps you will not slumber .38
Through this you any one with the right choice can abstain from sex still marriage. The next approach towards abstaining from sexual immorality is through relying on the word of God. I do not want to elaborate much on the power of the word, but sustainable righteousness in Christ Jesus is only possible if one is deeply rooted in studying and applying the word daily. How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.39 To flee youthful lust is for men and women develop a strong passion for the word of God. This desire should be honestly expressed to the Lord in prayers.
c
1 Sam. 2:9; Prov. 3:23, 26 slip d [Ps. 127:1; Prov. 24:12]; Is. 27:3 38 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ps 121:3 39 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ps 119:9 58
1

10
11
With my whole heart I have esought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! fYour word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You. 12 Blessed are You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes.
40
With such an expressed passion for the word and its application in the above scripture every human being, can effectively cut off from every act of sexual immorality. The expression of passion comes through earnest prayers of faith. Yes, iall Israel has transgressed Your law, and has departed so as not to obey Your voice; therefore the curse and the oath written in the jLaw of Moses the servant of God have been poured out on us, because we have sinned against Him. 12 And He has
11
e f
2 Chr. 15:15 Ps. 37:31; Luke 2:19 40 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ps 119:10-12 i Is. 1:36; Jer. 8:510
j
Lev. 26:14; Neh. 1:6; Ps. 106:6 59
His words, which He spoke against us and against our judges who judged us, by bringing upon us a great disaster; lfor under the whole heaven such has never been done as what has been done to Jerusalem. 13 mAs it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster has come upon us; nyet we have not made our prayer before the Lord our God, that we might turn from our iniquities and understand Your truth.41 Prophet Daniel made a choice, searched the law of Moses which is the word of God and found out the reason for sin, the explanation why there is a disaster is due to the absence of prayers. So many people get so hooked up in sexual addiction to the point they are beyond control of themselves and the church. It happens even to married couples, the remedy will not be a separation, divorce, or passing judgments and condemning
k l
kconfirmed
Is. 44:26; Jer. 44:26; Lam. 2:17; Zech. 1:6 Lam. 1:12; 2:13; Ezek. 5:9; [Amos 3:2] m Lev. 26:1445; Deut. 28:1568; Lam. 2:17 n Job 36:13; Is. 9:13; Jer. 2:30; Hos. 7:7 41 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Da 9:11-13 60
yourself or a loved one. The reason for this continuous life of sexual promiscuity is that a choice for a change has not been made either by the direct victim, the loved ones or the church or the scriptures has not being search persistently and finally prayer has not been made for by the direct victim or on his or her behalf by another person who can take up the responsibility to bring the victim to understanding.
61
Youthful Marriage
Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with ethe wife of your youth. 42
8
Social scientist across the world keeps projecting figures that marriages involving young people below thirty mostly ends up with a divorce, this is true for couples who are ignorant of the word, they do not understand what commitment is and who have never taking time to seek Gods face over their marriage. Let go back into the 1950 to 1960s the average age of marriage then was about 23 for men and 18 for women. A majority of marriages celebrated at least 15 years of marriage (anniversary) which is a total contrast our contemporary figures in regards to divorces figures for youth marriages. Physically and naturally youths have a greater urge for sex, therefore it is advisable, if youths find their divinely selected soul mates, should go ahead and
e
Deut. 24:5; Eccl. 9:9; Mal. 2:14
42
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Pr 5:18 62
marry. This will curb the offenses committed before God in regards to sexual sin. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.43
2
Specification in regards to age is not made. As soon as all spiritual requirements are met, then couples at the rightful age in late with the constitution of the state should get married. The Lord encourages youthful marriage and frowns at anyone who tries to disrespect it. Yet you say, For what reason? Because the LORD has been witness Between you and tthe wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; uYet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 44 Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
14
43
17
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 7:2
t
Prov. 5:18; Jer. 9:2; Mal. 3:5 Prov. 2:17 44 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mal 2:14
u
63
And forgets the covenant of her God.

45
So many people are beginning to accept a philosophy that 30 years is the right age for marriage please watch out. In reference to the above scripture the youth there refers to juvenile. The word youth is peculiar to age. So then young people should never be discourages from getting married it is Gods will, all they have to do is find the right partner through prayers. Instead of engaging in relationships that will ruin destinies, get married and stay faithful to avoid sin and temptations. The fundamental aspect in marriage is placing a focus of Christ as the author and finisher of our faith. He can safely protect and provide the resources for the marriage. Late marriage has never been a remedy to marital challenges. I encourage young couples to trust in the Lord make their relationships formal before God and before man. Living in sin is walking in darkness.
45
Cohabitation
One of the reasons of the continuous sexual promiscuity in the world is that people have not understood the gravity of the offence in the eyes of God. Cohabitation is not a new phenomenon on earth, because of this act of cohabitation God limited his spirit from humankind. God later categorized this sexual relation as an act of wickedness, and God regretted why he ever made man. that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they btook wives for themselves of all whom they chose.
2
And the Lord said, cMy Spirit shall not dstrive 1with man forever, efor he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years. 4 There were 2giants on the
3
b c
Deut. 7:3, 4 Gen. 41:38; [Gal. 5:16, 17]; 1 Pet. 3:19, 20 d 2 Thess. 2:7 1 LXX, Syr., Tg., Vg. abide e Ps. 78:39 2 Heb. nephilim, fallen or mighty ones 65
earth in those fdays, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown. Then 3the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every gintent 4of the thoughts of his heart was only evil 5continually. 6 And hthe Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and iHe was grieved in His jheart. 7 So the Lord said, I will kdestroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.46
5
f
Num. 13:32, 33; Luke 17:27 So with MT, Tg.; Vg. God; LXX LORD God g Gen. 8:21; Ps. 14:13; Prov. 6:18; Matt. 15:19; Rom. 1:2832 4 thought 5 all the day h Gen. 6:7; 1 Sam. 15:11, 29; 2 Sam. 24:16; Jer. 18:710; Zech. 8:14 i Ps. 78:40; Is. 63:10; Eph. 4:30 j Mark 3:5 k Gen. 7:4, 23; Deut. 28:63; 29:20; Ps. 7:11 46 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 6:2-7
3
66
The sons took wives for themselves without the consent of the Lord Almighty, there after the giants and renowned men who just simply bore children with the daughters of God. This does not look strange to the reader because in our contemporary society the practice is more rampart. More men take ladies without the proper marital rights been established. The numbers of children born out of wedlock are more than those delivered inside marriage. What a misdemeanor to God, What a pitiable situation for this generation who have made cohabitation a part civilization in other word, highly offends God on a daily basis. This is evident in almost every part of the world especially in nations who are supposedly Christian dominated. According to my estimates, In America 46% of all couples living together are unmarried. In Sweden, 9/10 couples marrying for the first time already live together, while in Denmark 1/3 of women within the age of 20s are living with men without marriage. South Africa according to the census of 1996, 268,964 in 2001 almost 2.4 million people where living together without been married. The most unfortunate is that these numbers comprises Christians. The grace which was bestowed for us on the cross should not be taken for granted.
67
God made two promises to limit his Spirit in man and to destroy man and all he has for this act. And that he fulfilled to those lived before Noah. The same situation has resurfaced and prevailing in our time. These promises still stand in our world. Those caught up in cohabitation and extramarital sexual relation experience a lack of the Holy Spirit and death. Death may not be immediately physical but it will gradually be experienced by culprits in every area in their lives before it actually occurs, through spiritual annihilation with God. This is alone makes life unbearable. This is been explained in the previous chapter, there is a need to further understand the magnitude of sin involved, to the extend God was sorry for creating man. The justification behind this has been mainly for economic convenience on the couples and to satisfy their sexual lust without full commitment. The question is there anything that will warrant a human being to lose his or her soul to hell? By offending God, victims of cohabitation are simple paving their way for destruction. So many Christians even nonbelievers are very familiar with the narratives of Noah and the ark, but very few find out what was the sin that led humanity to destruction, you just read the reason above in Genesis 6:4-6, and verse seven .
68
It was cohabitation cohabitation.
and
sexual
immorality,
In cohabitation there is actually no commitment in the relationship, this put couples in a very carefree state which makes them to break up when faced with pressure. They carry this same altitude into marriage if they eventually get married to another partner when they are faced with similar conditions. Couples who left from previous cohabitation relationships experience a higher level of divorce rates due to this altitude level adjustment. Staying together without marriage covers a couple from Glory of God irrespective of who they are what they do. There is a radiance of light that can only be fully manifested on couples who are married for he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Marriage is a tripartite covenant between God and the couple which demonstrates a love triangle. God so love the world and demonstrated that love by sending his only son. So too any man or woman who is interested in marriage should demonstrate the love by following the proper steps and get married without trying to be deceptive to God and humanity through cohabitation.
69
The misapprehension of gender equality in marriage is a poison that has intoxicated millions of marriages the world over. As days go by, women are becoming more socioeconomically empowered. Some women earn more financial rewards and are better placed in the rank and file of the society as compared to their husbands. Women generally do not depend entirely on their husbands for survival as it were in the recent past. The judiciary is given more room for gender equally across nations, most societies are beginning to comprehend and practice a fair environment for women and men that is equal opportunity. Gender equality is a good endeavor
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which has opened up families, cities and economies and it is worth writing home about. Yet in marriage gender equality should never be applied in the strict sense of it, the word of God demands wives to submit absolutely to their husbands.
22
Wives, gsubmit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For hthe husband is head of the wife, as also iChrist is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands jin everything.47
bAn 1excellent
wife is the crown of her husband,
Eph. 5:226:9; Col. 3:184:1; 1 Pet. 3:16 [1 Cor. 11:3]
Col. 1:18 Titus 2:4, 5 47 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Eph 5:22-24 b Prov. 31:23; 1 Cor. 11:7 1 Lit. A wife of valor
j
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But she who causes shame is clike rottenness in his bones. 48 From the inception of marriage a woman was created by God as a helper to a man.
8
And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; xI will make him a helper comparable to him.49
A wife is categorically an assistant to a husband and when God created woman he did not give her a name it was the husband that gave a name to the woman. Then the LORD God formed a woman from the rib that he had taken from the man. He brought her to the man. The man said,
22
Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He 8made into a woman, band He cbrought her to the man.
Prov. 14:30; Hab. 3:16 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Pr 12:4 x 1 Cor. 11:8, 9; 1 Tim. 2:13 49 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:18 8 Lit. built b Gen. 3:20; 1 Tim. 2:13
48
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And Adam said: This is now dbone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called 9Woman, Because she was etaken out of 1Man.
23 50
It was the husbands decision to name his wife. This portrays a decision power and authority which God gives husbands. God named Adam but it was Adam's decision to choose a name for his wife. This helping role and decision making role of a wife and a husband respectively, which existed in the first marriage union has not changed. When it comes to accountability in a marriage the husband is accountable to God and not the wife. When there was disorder in the garden of Eden God did not ask Eve first though he knew the source of the crisis. Gen3:9-13.
c
Heb. 13:4 Gen. 29:14; Eph. 5:2830 9 Heb. Ishshah e 1 Cor. 11:8, 9 1 Heb. Ish 50 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 2:21-23
d
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Every successful wife must acknowledge the leading role of her husband and submit to him. When a woman begins to disregard or hold her husband with low esteem maybe because she ends a higher income, better educated, has a better family background, more recognised socially or whatever the distinction may be, that woman is not acting in accordance to the will of God for marriage. This alone is capable of destroying any marriage. Gender equality does not exist in marriage.
18 hWives,
submit to your own husbands, ias is fitting in the Lord.51
The Husband was ordained from the foundation of marriage to be at the helm of his family with the wife as a helper without contradiction or confusion. For hthe husband is head of the wife, as also iChrist is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.52
23
h i
1 Pet. 3:1 [Col. 3:184:1; Eph. 5:226:9] 51 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Col 3:18 h [1 Cor. 11:3] i Col. 1:18 74
As a wife, not submitting to your hhusband is a serious marital pollution which if change is not effected, it may dissolve that marriage. The word of the Lord compares the husbands authority over a wife, to the same submission which a wife should give to the Lord. As such the economic, academic, spiritual and social superiority of a wife should not under any circumstances affect the respect and submission a wife has for her husband. The status quo of a woman be it social or economic should never influence the way you relate with your husband. Any wife who cannot respect and submit to a husband cannot be under Gods authority.
24
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands jin everything.53
That is why a Christian marriage is completely different from a pagan marriage. Women empowerment should never be misunderstood.
52
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Eph 5:23 j Titus 2:4, 5 53 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Eph 5:24 75
Wives are expected to use the beauty of their socioeconomic potential to make their marriage work through submission. Wives must not let their beauty and power be something external and dominant over their husbands. Beauty doesn't come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes, career or from any social hierarchy; rather, beauty is something internal and submitted under a husband to the glory of God. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers as precious. not let your adornment be merely outwardarranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel 4 rather let it be fthe hidden person of the heart, with the 1incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 54
e f
3 eDo
Is. 3:18; 1 Tim. 2:9 Rom. 2:29 1 imperishable 54 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Pe 3:3-5 76
A man generally wants to feel respected and given their biblical right no matter how much some may pretend to this. Here are some submissive tips for wives or prospective wives Respect for a husband will come through communication, politeness and softness in speech. Irrespective of his character or personally at no time should a wife be disrespectful in her speech. Keep his mistake confidential and make correction in a polite and calm manner when and where necessary. Seek his permission before a new project, such as a job, a business, worshiping in a church, traveling, in decisions concerning the children, holiday, income etc. for courtesy reasons let your husband know all what transpires in your life before you actually engage in it. Never anything behind his back. Also let him know your daily schedule and inform him in case there is a change of plan or of the mind. Engage him in your Job or business to have a deeper understanding and ask for support to get him involved.
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Never reject his orders, if not convenient, keep it for a much more convenient time talk about it effectively, get a comprehensive understanding of his decisions and try to strike a balance, he will naturally give room for amendments if care is applied. Never retaliate by acting on the contrary No matter how busy make out time regularly take care of his domestic needs like personally cooking for him, spending quality time, make room for sex and cleaning/washing for him etc. this act is reciprocal by doing this he will do the same without you demanding him to. Create quality time for the kids and try as much as possible to take slightly more responsibility in providing domestic care for the children. Never boast of your social or economic status to your husband. In situations you do not see appreciation from his path talk effectively about it Go along with him for social gatherings and give him recognition.
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And pray for him always. Where applicable invite him for fellowships These amongst others will make any husband feel respected and cherished in a marital bond. At the end of the day He will gradually if not automatically reciprocate these values to the wife consciously or unconsciously. A submissive wife will make a marriage enjoyable and pull her husband closer to God and to herself, hence becoming sanctified. Wives, likewise, be asubmissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, bthey, without a word, may cbe won by the conduct of their wives,55 .By being a submissive wife, you are being an evangelist. Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are. (1Pe 3:2 GW).
a
Gen. 3:16; 1 Cor. 14:34; Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18
b c
1 Cor. 7:16 Matt. 18:15 55 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Pe 3:1
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This will keep your marriage of incessant disorders and void of separation or divorce as Sarah did. Sarah obeyed Abraham and spoke to him respectfully. You became Sarah's daughters by not letting anything make you afraid to do good. (1Pe 3:6 GW) This is not a call for husband to take advantage to maltreat their wives. Some women may act in total contradiction. This normally happened out of ignorance, through prayers and teachings(communication) by the husband or some Christian marriage courses they may quickly come to understand the concept of submission. Husbands are expected on their path to Love their wives. Submission on from the wives does not mean subjection from the husband, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. (Eph 5:25) (GW). If the Husband loves his wife to the point of Christs sacrificial love for the church then there will be peace and harmony because a combination of submission from the wife and love from the husband produces a perfect marriage. How can a husbands love be demonstrated towards the wife
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Husbands empower your wife and let live a fulfilled life, for this is part of honoring her, bring out the best in them according to God's will. 'In a similar way, you husbands must live with your wives in an understanding manner, as with a most delicate partner. Honor them as heirs with you of the gracious gifts of life, so that nothing may interfere with your prayers. (1Pet 3 :7) (ISV) A husband's love must demonstrate forgiveness, if husbands are expected to love their wifes as Christ loved the church then that love is a sacrificial one, for Christ decided to die for the church despite all her unfaithfulness, So then as a husband a lot has to be done A husband should never restrain from a sexual relationship with the wife unless the prior agreement as a results of prayers. A husband should give her wife her sexual rights ,and likewise a wife to her husband (1Cor 7:3) (NET) Women normally need attention never let anything focus take your attention from your wife. After the devotion a man gives God the
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next priority is the one he gives to the wife. Even kids should not steal this place; it belongs only to the wife.
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Do you not know that oyour bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For pthe two, He says, shall become one flesh. 17 qBut he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
15
o p
Rom. 12:5; 1 Cor. 6:13; 12:27; Eph. 5:30 Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Mark 10:8; Eph. 5:31 q [John 17:2123; Rom. 8:911]; 1 Cor. 6:15; [Gal. 2:20]; Eph. 4:4
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sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins sagainst his own body.
56
18 rFlee
The spiritual intricacies of sex have already been talked about and the same consequences for fornication apply for adultery and any other sexual misdemeanor. Adultery is one of the most reoccurring pollutants to marriage and has ruined so many marital bonds across the world. An annual study in the UK by management consultants Grant Thornton, estimates adultery as the main proximal causes of divorce based on surveys of matrimonial lawyers. According to this survey, husbands engaged in extramarital affairs in 75% of cases; wives in 25%. Adultery is been a major weapon which the devil uses to dissolve most marriages around the world. Adultery, based on the scripture designates sex outside marriage. However there is spiritual adultery which is the worship of other gods Jeremiah 5:7, our
r
Rom. 6:12; 1 Cor. 6:9; 2 Cor. 12:21; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; Heb. 13:4 Rom. 1:24; 1 Thess. 4:4 56 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 6:15-18
s
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focus here will be on the latter. This is the area which most marriages across the globe today get bruised and destroyed. Every couple needs a deeper understanding of these schemes of Satan as I earlier mention there is no immunity, the more know couple acquire the safe that marriage is.
The Offence Behind Adultery
Adultery is a sin against the body: Anybody committing adultery defiles his or her own body. The act of adultery is comparable to suicide; it is self-destruction to all you have built prior to indulging into adultery. This cannot be over reemphasized; there is a transfer of wealth through adultery from the adulterers to the devil. sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins sagainst his own body. 19 Or tdo you not know that your
r
18 rFlee
Rom. 6:12; 1 Cor. 6:9; 2 Cor. 12:21; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; Heb. 13:4 Rom. 1:24; 1 Thess. 4:4 t John 2:21; 1 Cor. 3:16; 2 Cor. 6:16
s
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body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, uand you are not your own? 57 Adultery leads to sin against your spouse Through the covenant of marriage, a man or a womans body becomes the property of the spouse as long as they live here on earth.
4
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.58
Onwards anything that has to do with the body must be done with the consent of the spouse. Sex Outside marriage is breaking this rule, which theft is taking somebody elses property and utilizing it without permission hence violating the rights and the promises made to the partner prior marriage.
u
Rom. 14:7 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 6:18-19 58 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 7:4
57
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Sin against God Adultery is clear Commandments

14
rule
within
the
Ten
You shall not commit adultery.
When Nathan the prophet confronted David for committing adultery with Uriahs wife David acknowledge that he sin against God.
13
So David said to Nathan, lI have sinned against the Lord. 59
Adultery is a serious offence not just against man but against God. When you commit adultery you sin against these three relationships your body, your spouse and God Almighty. Adultery eventually drives out the presence of God, the Holy Spirit not only your body and definitely in your marriage too. When the presence of God leaves your marriage that marriage is bond to suffer from a lot of ills.
l
2 Sam. 24:10; Job 7:20; Ps. 51; Luke 18:13
59
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 2 Sa 12:13 87
How Adultery affects a Marriage Adultery disconnects a man or woman from their heavenly heritage. Imagine the blessings that are associated with a marriage couples be it spiritual, financial, physical and material resources You know very well that no person who is involved in sexual sin, perversion, or greed (which means worshiping wealth) can have any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (Eph 5:5 GW). This explains why some marriages go through a lot of distress and failures because they are operating under the expense and the mercies of the devil because their blessings and identity has been hijacked. , after this shameful act the prayer life of the coupe becomes very weak, partner stops going to church, from there loss of income through terminations, loss of business deals, sickness comes in, miscommunication with partner, loss of sexual compatibly, less time spent with spouse or family, general lack of favor and psychological challenges. Adultery is a willful stubbornness to God. Our relationship with God is tired up in very simples
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precepts which when applied will either bring blessings or bring in evil. The Lord made an oath to those who work in disobedience; And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? 60
18
The reality about marriage is that its a place and a time for rest, physiologically, spiritually, physically, financially and from every aspect. However this rest or peace which so many people longed for prior to marriage appears to be a fairy tale as a result of sexual indiscipline. It is a principle, no adulterer can experience peace. At the initial stages the uneasiness may not manifest immediately but every blessing will gradually degenerate into a visible loss. If infidelity is not properly handled, it may emanate to divorce. Even to subsequent marriages even if such a partner eventually enters into another marriage. By entering into adultery the only privilege you have from the kingdom of God is that of candid repentance and forgiveness, to God and to your spouse.
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The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Heb 3:18 89
Sex Outside Married is fatal Besides loosing ones heavenly inheritance adultery is fatal; But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Indeed you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is 1a mans wife. 61
3
Death is the penalty to adultery, from the day you or spouse commits adultery death is been passed on he or she. No matter how secret such a relationship may be. This may not come immediately for God is a merciful God, he allow time for repentance if he sees no change then death awaits the culprits no adulterer leaves long on earth unless they changes from their evil ways. Some may think that is the old testaments but God never changes, is the God of yesterday, today and forever and his mercy and grace should never be misinterpreted. From the above scripture god counted Ambimelech as dead for taking another mans wife. It is worth noting that at the time he was still leaving and had not even slept
1
Lit. married to a husband
61
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ge 20:3 90
with Abrahams wife, yet the mark of death was already on him. You may commit adultery irrespective of how secret it is, once the act is done death is passed on the adulterer and the adulteress. This is spiritual alienation. There is no link between anyone who commit adultery and God unless they make room for a genuine repentance. A prostitute's price is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts for your life itself. Can a man carry fire in his lap without burning his clothes? Can anyone walk on red-hot coals without burning his feet? So it is with a man who has sex with his neighbours wife. None who touch her will escape punishment. (Pro 6:26-29 GW). If quick attention is not given to adultery spiritually it will not ultimately give in to dissolution but it may result to premature death which is the inevitable punishment. Eternal Extinction The act of Adultery does not end in destroying the life of victim on earth but it actually leads to eternal destructions so it destroys both the body and the soul.
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Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor 2homosexuals, nor 3sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 62
9
It is quite unfortunate today most Christians live without recognizing the fact there is judgment that waits after death. There is judgment after death and adultery is one of those sins which will give Christ no choice than keep in everlasting condemnation and extinction from Gods presence. Miscalculated Mercy There is a normal phenomenon for people and Christian specifically to misinterpret the unending mercies of God. This is true, the mercies of the Lord endure forever conversely these mercies are only for those who have made up their mind go after the
2
catamites, those submitting to homosexuals male homosexuals
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throne of grace and ask for mercy. Secondly the mercies of God have a time frame which an individual is given an opportunity to change. Serving God and carrying out his commands is a matter of choice. Adulterers or adulteress always suffer directly or indirectly it has remained the highest form of marital pollution around the world remaining the dominant contributor to divorce rates across the world.
Accomplices to Adultery
One of the reasons why weddings are organized for the public or community is to announce that a marital bond that has been established between a couple, therefore everyone in the environment (family, friends, church or community) has a contribution to make to that relationship. This responsibility of providing support to marriage couples does not end just on the day of the weeding but extends throughout their existence. Most often extra marital affairs exist under the nose of family members, fellow church members, friends, parents, co-workers and neighbors. Sometimes it is even
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encouraged by the above mentioned category of people. How horrible it will be for those who call evil good and good evil, who turn darkness into light and light into darkness, who turn what is bitter into something sweet and what is sweet into something bitter. (Isa 5:20 GW) If you find a situation like these occurring with valid and substantial evidence then you make no steps to end it you are been a culprit to the act it will equally be horrible on your path for not only in support or being lukewarm of what will ruin a marriage but you are also calling evil good, there is a price to pay for been a partner to adultery. Adultery has been seriously condemned by God, therefore if you are a culprit or you see it happening and makes no steps towards rescuing the falling victim then you have a question before the lord to answer. God has proclaimed death on Adulterers and adulteresses
18
When I say to the wicked, You shall surely die, and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will
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require at your hand. 19 Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul. 63 Being less concern, indifferent or in support of a sexual relationship outside marriage you are simply letting one die of his or her iniquity. Escaping from this assignment will bring judgment. If parents, siblings, friends, church members, pastors, coworkers churches, businesses; hotels, communities and other human relationships will effectively stand up against sex outside marriage then marriages will be less polluted. The degree of marriage dissolutions will see a turn around to the glory of God. We have a responsibility to follow the procedure of Jesus as he outlined it in the gospel of Mathew Moreover oif your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, pyou have
15
63
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Eze 3:18-19
o
Lev. 19:17; [Luke 17:3, 4; Gal. 6:1]; 2 Thess. 3:15; [James 5:19] [James 5:20]; 1 Pet. 3:1 95
gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that qby the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a rheathen and a tax collector.64 However stepping in to give a helping hand will need divine wisdom and knowledge. Make sure that the adulterer or adulteress is called up for a polite one on one discussion. Communication is a very complex tool; you may have the right message if not properly presented to recipient it may cause damage. Call him or her to order. Never go to the partner directly, it may cause more harm than good, follow the outline steps according to the word get some other reasonable person involved inform the church leaders while you continue praying and interceding for person.
q
Deut. 17:6; 19:15; John 8:17; 2 Cor. 13:1; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28 Rom. 16:17; 1 Cor. 5:9; [2 Thess. 3:6, 14; 2 John 10]
64
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 18:15-17 96
Brethren, if a man is 1overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted 65 Initially this task of trying to save an adulterer may be quite challenging. Most often they may be in denial, or getting irritated about you minding their business. With the challenges involved you may think it is not worth it. Then I said, I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and in vain; Yet surely my 2just reward is with the Lord, And my 3work with my God. 66 However you are obliged to try as much as possible to make sure there is a u turn from such an act, blessings awaits people who will make a step to this direction to purify a marriage. For they is a reward from man and from God
1
caught
65
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Ga 6:1 2 justice 3 recompense 66 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Is 49:4 97
But those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, And a good blessing will come upon them.67 23 uHe who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward.Than he who flatters with the tongue.68
25
Coupled to communication prayers opens all closed doors. The observer is also required to pray for Gods intervention and absolute restoration. At times after communication the results may not be good, through follow up prayers positive results are abound.
The Victim Of Adultery
All along the emphasis has been laid on the adulterer or the adulteress what about the one who is being cheated; the one who is the victim of deception. The choices which he or she makes will determine if that
67
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Pr 24:25 u Prov. 27:5, 6 68 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Pr 28:23 98
marriage is polluted further or if there will be a stop and change things around for the better Noting impossible for the Lord But when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. (Joh 8:7 RV) Being cheated in a marriage by partner is a very huge injury which only those who strongly believe in Christ Jesus can go through it , but you too can be one of them. There is nothing impossible for God to do. In recent past the automatic decision has been file for a divorce. But forgiveness and recommitment to God and to one another has revitalized many marriages across the world. If couples at this time of their lives can be able to meditate on these words The woman answered, "No one, sir." Jesus said, "I don't condemn you either. Go! From now on don't sin." (Joh 8:11 GW) and apply them then the enemy, the devil, the master planner of polluting marriages will be put to shame. This may not happen so fast and immediate is quite hurtful but through prayers, spiritual counseling and
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guidance, effective communication, forgiveness tolerance and acceptance to change towards good will bring peace in that marriage. During such a crisis in a marriage couples can enter into fasting and prayers if not both at least the believing spouse can still do this on behalf of the couple and spend more time studying the word of God. God's word is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged sword and cuts as deep as the place where soul and spirit meet, the place where joints and marrow meet. God's word judges a person's thoughts and intentions. (Heb 4:12 GW) The common mistake most couples make is that in times like these is the engage into violent quarrels and fights. Consulting wrong mediums like peers, family members, courts, police, TV shows, newspapers, black magic( sangomas, native doctors, seers) planning to kill, commit murder or commit suicide. Get into drugs all these further pollute and destroy the marriage which will never be recovered. Many had tried all this and the outcome was fatal in some cases. You the adulterer or the adulteress there is a way out to keep your marriage and family from been poison by lust. I've come to call sinners to change the way
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they think and act, not to call people who think they have God's approval." (Luk 5:32 GW) says Jesus irrespective of what you have done in hiding the Lord is waiting for you for a change to give you a new establishment and a new slate. He said, "The time has come, and the kingdom of God is near. Change the way you think and act, and believe the Good News." (Mar 1:15 GW) Change your old ways make a choice to let go immorality of any sort That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; (Eph 4:22 KJV) As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; (1Pe 1:14-15 KJV)
How to Avoid Adultery
Initially every couple is conscious of the fact that sex outside marriage is a transgression to every stakeholder of that relationship. How then does culprits get dragged into this situation must often
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they cannot handle. Physically adultery often develops from lust which often comes as a temptation. Through this push men and women are then lured into adultery. One means through which people get hooked up in adultery is through the eyes. From looking thoughts gradually develops and it yields to actions, this explains why Jesus in his Classic teaching categorized and condemned looking lustfully as adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.69
28
This is evident with king David the devil got hold of him by looking, despite his close relationship with God.
2
And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the kings house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this
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The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 5:28 102
Bathshebaa, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? 4 And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house70 Irrespective of personality and maturity, the schemes of the devil should never be under estimated. It is always advisable to mind what you watch, just as David fell anybody can be the next victim if precautions are not taken. Being a believer, your longevity in marriage or an assurance of fidelity does not make one immune to be tempted into sex outside marriage. Conscious efforts have to be made not to look at people or things that will lure one to committing adultery. I have made a covenant with my eyes;
a
Bathsheba: or, Bathshuah
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The Holy Bible : King James Version. electronic ed. of the 1769 edition of the 1611 Authorized Version. Bellingham WA : Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995, S. 2 Sa 11:2-5
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Why then should I look upon a young woman?71 As such mind the way you look at members from the opposite sex, avoid looking lustfully. Also pornography should be totally out site. There are is a school of thought which says married couples can watch pornographic materials to develop their sexual lives. This is totally out of order, the next couple of question is should couples watch the nakedness of other people. The prince of this world will definitely have his own side of the story for those who are perishing. By watching pornography even as a couple, when couples gain interest in it, it develops into a habit, then an addiction. From there people begin to engage themselves into different sources of pornography through the internet, magazines, movies, at work or in school. This leaves a spouse practically helpless to committing adultery on a high frequency. Even Movies that propagates sex out of marriage can gently influence viewers into similar actions. The kind of books or literature one reads is sufficient to entice him or her to adultery. So then the first sustainable step towards an adultery free marriage in applying caution to what the eyes sees.
71
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Job 31:1 104
The content of what one hears also contributes to adultery. A spouse who wants to keep away from adultery should keep away provoking discussions or listening to conversations which will arouse him or her into sexual activities outside sex. This will normally come from the friends you keep, there are group of people who can just help bringing up discussions which will directly or indirectly motivate the listener to extramarital sex. In such a case huge steps are needed to abstain from such a relationship(s). By mixing with friends who in support of extra marital relationships, they will definitely affect your views from what you constantly hear. They may directly or out rightly say it but through conversations on their relationships they keep and coupled with what you see them do it may lead you to adultery. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what 4fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what 5communion has light with darkness? 15 And
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4 5
in common fellowship
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what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 72 So as the scripture above light and darkness has nothing in common, by separating yourself from hearing intoxicated messages will make you a step safer from falling into adultery. Coupled with a peer group, some married people are still in the habits of accepting invitations to dates knowing that they are married despite all the signals that come with the invitation. By attending such dates, through hearing spouse can easily be tempted into adultery if not immediately an extramarital affair may mature slowly, which will rise to intoxicate your marriage. The bible is clear on this. I wrote to you in my epistle not to 6keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world,73
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We have it as a commandment to stay clear from such people. If a business partner, a colleague, a friend, a church member or classmate appears to be changing their relationship into something sexual you are to cut company with such a sexually immoral man or woman. And according to my Mentor Apostle Whiteson Ugo it is advisable to report such a move to your spouse so that you both can collectively deal with such a temptation in a godly way. It is also biblical to expose such attempts,
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And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather 3expose them.74
in an effort to quietly deal with it you may end up complying to their demands, they devil is always persistent through diverse schemes. Keeping quite is wrong choice report such moves, most organizations and nations has norms in place for the exposition of such activities but it is rather unfortunate our often they are not used. Besides, hearing and looking, other factors like words, absence of ones matter or ones partner not
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meeting up with his or her sexual obligation, lack of economic sustenance and much more can contribute to adultery which has been handled in detailed in other sections of this book. However adultery can be effectively stopped in the mind before it actually gets to full manifestation. From when the temptation is made from outside no matter the source or the means ones it is aborted from inside a person it will never manifest. What comes from outside a person does not matter but what actually matters is what is inside. So by rejecting the devil from inside of you this rejection of Adultery will reflect outwardly and the devil will flee. This explains why Jesus gave a surprising definition of adultery But I say to you that whoever hlooks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.75
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2 Sam. 11:25; Job 31:1; Prov. 6:25; [Matt. 15:19; James 1:14, 15]
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Matrimonial violence refers to the inflicting of injury by a single member or between spouses (reciprocal Violence) on a regular or habitual manner during marriage; it can also be referred to as intimate partner violence. This is a common phenomenon and it has brought untold misery in marriages across the world. Most couples have used this as a means to solve issues or a way out, to express their feelings towards their partner. Matrimonial violence or abuse
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is often done with the motive of establishing absolute dominance and control over the victim. It is absolutely wrong inconsiderate of the motive or justification behind violence, it is sinful Therefore nyou shall not 1oppress one another, obut you shall fear your God; for I am the Lord your God.76
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Matrimonial abuse takes several forms which most often couples may not be aware of, yet it is violence and it pollutes the marriage: The first category is physical abuse which comes through intimidation, pain, slapping, punching, hitting chocking burning and destruction of property. Several couples go through this scenario throughout their marital union until it become a normal phenomenon for some, this often takes place at the verge of actual divorce. No matter the frequency its absolutely unwelcome for it is a serious pollutant to any marital bond which signifies
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Lev. 25:14; Prov. 14:31; 22:22; Jer. 7:5, 6; 1 Thess. 4:6 mistreat o Lev. 19:14, 32; 25:43 76 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Le 25:17
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oppression and a lack of fear of the Lord. And must be boldly dealt with. Another form of abuse is Sexual abuse which is forceful and unwanted sex from spouse. It can also be classified as marital rape use of force to compel partner to engage in sex against his or her will .It could be from disability or influenced of alcohol or drugs. This is a serious offense against God, the scriptures requires husbands and wives to offer their bodies to one another. In a situation where the husband or wife is acting contrary to that stipulation violence is not and will never be a way out. Giving your spouse drug or alcohol to lure her to sexual activity is a double sin. This is often generated from lust. that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;77
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Sex is of mutual act an agreement between the spouses. This often happen when a partner is suffering from sexual addiction and no amount of sexual activity will satisfy his or her endless lust.
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Which is a serious toxin to marriage, a couple suffering from this will manifest itself through physical abuse, adultery and emotional abuse. The body is of the Lord there for even sex needs to recognize and respect the dignity of a human being which is made from the likeness and image of God, respect the authority of man and respect the presence of God in the flesh which makes it the temple of the Holy Spirit. Sexual abuse mostly gives birth to Emotional or psychological abuse, which involves humiliating the spouse, privately or publicly, influencing what the victim can or cannot do, withholding information from spouse, doing something to make victim feel diminished or embarrassed , isolating victim from friends and family, blackmail , denying victim access to money or basic resources. Irrespective of the reason under which this is done it is not allowed and its considered as violence which contrary to is love, and from our lessons on Love for man and God this is not in line with Gods will. The next form of violence which most people do not recognize or see is verbal violence, it involves, use of abusive language, name calling, blaming, ridicule, disrespect, and negative or no constructive criticism
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towards your partner. Most often it is the source of all other violence in marriage. Economic abuse occurs mostly when there is a joint bank account or economic resources such as properties, joint owned business. This happens when ones expresses dominance, preventing the other from access to money and control over purchase and sales of goods or services. From this brief analysis you now understand the intricacies of matrimonial violence; most people think that violence ends at the physical on the contrary the deeper part of it lies on the emotional and the economic facets of violence. Matrimonial Violence has very serious effects which might be fatal. Such consequences include the loss of appetite, depression, risk of suicide, alcohol abuse, drugs and death besides divorce. The conclusion to this is at the end of the day, matrimonial violence remains an offense to God and man for it is contrary to the highest commandment of love.
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My little children, ylet us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 78
Love is far more than just a worldly expression it must be demonstrated especially in marriage. Each time couples find themselves in any misunderstanding they should immediately seek the best possible solutions that will let peace reign in marriage, if an atmosphere of suspicion, anger and tension exists it my often result to violence in one way or the way which signifies a lack of honor for marriage, And they come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but do them not: for with their mouth they shew much love, but their heart goeth after their gain.
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This is a very sensitive issue and Christians are not immune to it they are faced with similar marital
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Ezek. 33:31
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Revise Version Eze 33:31

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challenges. What will save a marriage from matrimonial violence is to be able to practice put the word of God in action. It is sufficient to say you love God and your spouse yet you cannot activate the word of God. Generally violence is a lack of ideas and ignorance of the truth. The reason why marriages perish most is due to the lack of the applicability of the word of God. Irrespective is both spouse are believers, one spouse that applies the word of God is sufficient to change the course of that marriage. This explains why it is written that the believing wife sanctifies the unbelieving husband. It applies also to husband a believing husband sanctifies the wife. There is always a source from which every challenge or violence emanates and it is one hundred percent spiritual. If any man or woman thinks the solution to a marriage problem can be settled with violence, then that man or women is simple a vessel of the Satan. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh (2Co 10:3 RV) Marriage is a very spiritual affaire, though the effect of the spiritual atmosphere may manifest physically
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do not handle it according to the flesh. Even when you are cheated and maltreated, fight it spiritually. (for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strong holds); casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (2Co 10:4-5 RV) This spiritual battle can only be handled effectively by the Ultimate power in the word. You cannot defeat Lucifer and his agents without the knowledge of the word. Jesus who is the Lord of all was tempted in the wilderness by Satan through the scriptures Christ overpowered him and he fled. For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any twoedged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Heb 4:12 RV)
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If you are suffering from matrimonial violence divorce is not a solution or trying to return evil for evil will not solve the problem, irrespective of the type of Violence. But get deeper into the word of God dont just study but read and practice it, it is in the applicability that gives birth to a turn around. The bible is capable to activate your marriage to come to the fulfilment of the will of God for that relationship. The normal question spouse asks, is what if my partner is not committed to reading and applying the word? It does not make a difference you who have this revelation knowledge begin and you will make a difference. Through the change that will come from you he will be sanctified and soon join you. For a stronger solution pulls a weaker one. If practice the word of God you will certainly grow stronger to quench all the snares of the enemy that comes through him or her in that violence will be completely cut off from your marriage. As you study the word pray let the spirit guide you with understanding and revelation. The Scripture is not like any other script it takes Gods help to understand it.
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A marriage cannot run smoothly without the availability of money. Marriage as an institution also requires money to run its operations irrespective of how spiritual partners may be. whether couples share financial responsibilities or not, at the end of the day they will still engage in paying the rents, paying for the education of their children and for themselves, buying groceries, paying utility bills, paying insurance and mortgages just to name a few. The absence of money can only be endured for a
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certain time frame. If fullness of marriage must be enjoyed couples needs to have a good financial coverage. This explains why countless marriages have ended up in divorce and much more are still undergoing torture from financial related stress. The absence of money is a serious challenge and a pollutant to marriage which should never be underestimated. It has The absence of money is so many damaging a serious challenge and consequences. It leads a pollutant to marriage to direct and indirect which should never be quarrels sometimes underestimated causing excruciating pain. Lack of sufficient funds for marriage couples also causes physical violence which may be fatal. It can resolve to infidelity: spouse begins to look for a supporting relationship outside marriage to meet the financial constraints of the family. It often gives birth to hectic working schedules; marriage couples start engaging into careers without placing their marriage as a priority or going in for two or three jobs thereby trading out the quality time which they have to share as couples and parents as the case may be. This gradually tears that marriage apart marriage apart instead of fixing it. Lack of finances limits the
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potentials of couples and hides their true identity as individuals and as a couple. There is another category of couples who at the inception of their marriage they had lived in affluence and all after a while their gradually or suddenly their finances degenerated to lack of basic necessities. Due to manipulations of devil. This is worse than not been rich previously. The fundamental truth is, poverty or lack is not Gods will for any marriage. Couples are meant to jointly prosper, to live in material comfort with everything at their beck and call, for this is God has in store for marriage couples. God made sure the Garden of Eden had abundance for sustaining Adam and Eve. Besides prosperity is our birth right, which includes financial material and physical prosperity. Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.79
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God wants plenty for married couples, poverty is not piety, lack is not part of holiness. The best of Gods servants in the Bible from Genesis to revelation
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where all rich people. Think of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job; in the early church no man lacked. The question is why is it that there is a lot of struggle to meet just with the basic necessities. Couples keep suffering from the same circle and they hand in this chain of poverty to their childrens children. If your finances are handled the right way in line with Gods words then your marriage will come out of financial constraints but your children will also inherit both invisible and visible wealth. Lets examine how your marriage can begin to enjoy prosperity.
Building Up Finances to Sustain Marriage
Becoming rich and prospering in marriage and any sphere of life does not require struggles, hectic schedules or losing ones soul to the devil in order to get money. The action that will drive your marriage from its financial constraints to an overflow of money and wealth is, giving, coupled with prayers. This sounds too simple to be true but I pray you understand it; take is serious and implement it in your life and that of your spouse. It is often preached
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but yet neglected, to embrace lack and poverty indirectly. God is the creator of heaven and earth until you acknowledge and Honor him with your finances you can never prosper here on earth and the life after. Marriage couples should understand this and make giving a top priority in their marriage. Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, In what way have we robbed You? sIn tithes and offerings. 9 You are cursed with a curse, For you have robbed Me, Even this whole nation. 80
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There is no way you can rob God and expect to succeed. A majority of people often rob God in tithes and offerings. That is why there are so many calamities on earth. If you rob God you are cursed with a curse. This is evident in the amount of
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Neh. 13:1012
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married people who are unemployed despite their qualifications, tragic events which lead to loss of income, robbery of cash and property, unprecedented accidents and illness that will drain the familys finances. This comes from the lack faithfulness in payments of tithes and offering. This curse goes beyond your finances it effects your marriage, the altitude of your children; their finances and their prosperity in life as a whole. The devil has an upper hand in most marriages because marriage couples dont pay their tithes and offerings. As such God is not to be blamed neither the pastor nor even the devil. It is a deliberate choice that was made and hence the consequences followed. Some contend this that we are in the New Testament therefore the law does not apply. It was in the New Testament that Abraham was recognized for paying tithes. Secondly some say curse is he that was hung on the tree yes that is absolutely true. This curse was taken from people who are in Christ to be in Christ is to keep live according the word. Couples who are faithful in their tithes will never be divorced and their finances will never suffer.
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Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house,
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And try Me now in this, Says the Lord of hosts, If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.81 Paying of tithes is a command with either a blessing or a curse attached to it. Thank God Christ was hung on the tree and freed us from every cause. Hence we are no longer cause. Yet many escape blessings that are associating with tithes and offerings as a result of stubbornness and ignorance. Each individual is commission to bring in his or her tithes into the storehouse; a tithe is ten percent of ones income which is to be paid to the church, the Body of Christ. Note should be taken here that tithes is different from offering. Offering is free will depending on the faith and willingness of the individual to give. However paying of tithe is a command which cannot be altered nor delayed. The fundamental reason behind the paying of tithes is that the house of God
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should run effectively; that they may be food in my storehouse. Through this God is glorified. Each believer or couple should have a steady place of worship which is where he or she should pay tithes. The couples have a spiritual responsibility to ensure that their store house is spirit filled because so many profess to be churches but they are simple agents of darkness. If tithes are paid to a place which is not a storehouse of the blessings cannot be reaped. The Promises of paying tithes are endless and not just limited to financial multiplication. The word of God says I will pour a blessing that there will not be room enough to carry. Blessing that flows from paying tithes are very diversified. Here are some of the blessings that await every faithful tither and their dependents without an income; Long life and health Spiritual growth Spiritual stability Safety under the divine protection Promises of peace Divine Direction
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Honor Success and prosperity Plenty and riches
Deliverance from Divorce Provision of Children
Preservation from trouble Deliverance from trouble Support in trouble Deliverance from sickness Support in sickness Deliverance from famine and want Deliverance from war and enemies From oppression and injustice Deliverance from slander and reproach Deliverance from witchcraft Just imagine how much families spend on health alone in hospitals and doctors, or other unforeseen
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circumstances which ends up in court. But there is a promise, that of all-round prosperity for tithers And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field, Says the Lord of hosts;82
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It is evident that all the wrong things that happen in life are carefully maneuvered by Satan and his agents. But there is an assurance from God Almightily that he will rebuke the devourer for the sake of faithful tithers in other word a guarantee of full deliverance, what a privilege. The first one step to financial stability in marriage is faithfulness in tithes. Couples ought to learn and develop the altitude of tithing, even if your partner may not immediately take the decision to tithe with you do not relent. The unsanctified partner will
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sanctify the other. It produces better results if both partners pay their tithes effectively. Effective tithing is been consistent in all that comes in as giving ten percent from your personal income to God. Most often people start paying their tithes and when the income grows bigger they abandon the process. Or in some cases some may assume that their income to be too small. Or still they must be working with a stable salary or in business. Every personal income deserves a tithe from it. Under no circumstances should money that meant for tithes be diverted for another purpose. Tithing is a process it never stops through that Lord will see to it that the fruits of your ground will not be destroyed nor your fruits fail to produce. But this to a test for three months the rewards is fascinating. No matter how much any other form of giving is done to charities and other forms alms giving until tithes is faithfully paid in there will still be grounds for the Devil to work on in your finances and your marriage.
Offerings In addition to tithes another significant strategy towards overcoming financial challenges in marriage is giving of offerings. It is through giving that God
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continually multiplies our seeds and causes an increase. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.83
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Giving is in three categories to the Church, to men of God and directly to man. Couples should make a firm financial commitment to see to it that the operations of the church are smoothly run through their offerings. Offerings should be well calculated on a weekly or monthly basis. First fruit
10
Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: fWhen you come into the land which I give to you, and reap its harvest, then you
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The Holy Bible : King James Version. electronic ed. of the 1769 edition of the 1611 Authorized Version. Bellingham WA : Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995, S. Lk 6:38
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Ex. 23:19; 34:26
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shall bring a sheaf of gthe firstfruits of your harvest to the priest. 84 when you enter into your marriage you need a first fruit from your financial proceeds as an offering on to the Lord and at the beginning of each year this offering should still be repeated. first of the firstfruits of your land you shall bring to the house of the Lord your God. You shall not boil a young goat in its mothers milk. 85
26 qThe
Then respect the lord keep an honorable first portion from your income both the husband and wife after your marriage and at the beginning of each year this will give God a room to back that marriage financially irrespective of what the economy holds for that year. This could be a combination of your
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[Rom. 11:16]; James 1:18; Rev. 14:4 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Le 23:10 q Ex. 23:19; Deut. 26:2
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first salary or the first profit to your first income or a combination of the both.
9 kHonor
the Lord with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase;86
you shall take some of the first of all the produce of the ground, which you shall bring from your land that the Lord your God is giving you, and put it in a basket and bgo to the place where the Lord your God chooses to make His name abide. 87
athat
Giving to a Man of God For any marriage to be successful they need a spiritual parent whom they have tested and trust the
k
Ex. 22:29; Deut. 26:2; [Mal. 3:10]
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Ex. 22:29; 23:16, 19; Num. 18:13; Deut. 16:10; Prov. 3:9 Deut. 12:5 87 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Dt 26:2
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hand of God is on him or her. Beyond that marriage couples should establish a weekly or a monthly covenant of what they give to support the ministry of a man of God. This alone brings generational blessings not only to the couple but to their children and their descendants. Some people often fail in this area of giving because they begin after giving a couple of times they become contented. When they relent then they miss out. Supporting a man of God bring an overflow of prosperity. Supporting a man of God financial or materially is Gods direct responsibility, so when you take up this responsibility and be consistent with it will also be committed to never leave your stagger in your finances or your hearts desire. who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophets reward. And he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous mans reward. 42 And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.88
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41 bHe
1 Kin. 17:10; 2 Kin. 4:8 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 10:41-42
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This scripture illustrates what awaits couple who takes it as a responsibility to support men of God. However caution should be taking for there are so many fake and quakes out there in wolves in sheep clothing. So this is to be done after conviction that the individual in question is a genuine servant of God. This worked out for the shunammite woman who together with the husband support a the servant of God Elisha , the shunammite woman did not only remain rich but even when the son died God through the Man of God, Elisha raised the boy from the dead. 2kings 4:8-37,8:-6. There was something similar for Elijar, a single widow was commission by God to be a blessing the anointed Man of God. Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, 9 Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to hSidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.89
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2 Sam. 24:6
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Like the widow most often God speaks to people to be a blessing to his servants but they are not able to understand or willing to act in that direction. Thank God the widow finally obeyed the man of God and gave from the little she had. And God supplied all that she needed she never ran dry of oil or floor. Even the boy died the man of God was there to pray and bring the boy back to life. The widow and his boy prospered for giving to the man of God. How many men of God are actually suffering from one need or the other, when the people whom God has assigned to supply their need are actually making promises that they never fulfil or even gossiping, grumbling and making matters worse for the Lords servant. If only marriage couples can make a covenant to support a Man of God their finances will see a turn around. Support family Members Giving continues in your own family, it is a responsibility for each spouse to give to his partner, children, brothers and sisters, parents and in-laws
8
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he
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has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.90 So then you need to keep the faith by providing for your wife or your husband seeing to it that their needs are met together the other family member. From time to time gifts are very essential the show appreciation to your partner. Giving does not end at the initial stage of the relationship but continues throughout the bond and giving is reciprocal, a husband is meant to give to the wife likewise the wife to the husband. This will yield more blessings for the couple. Charity begins at home couples need to develop the altitude of giving one another. Give To Fellow Believers Couples need to understand that they need to give a helping hand to fellow believers who need help in and out of such. How many people are lying in church or around you who are either in need of a job or you got some idea which can make their lives better. Yet no effort is made towards helping them.
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Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.91
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If there is among you a poor man of your brethren, within any of the 4gates in your land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor shut your hand from your poor brother, 8 but you shall 5open your hand wide to him and willingly lend him sufficient for his need, whatever he needs92
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You shall surely give to him, and your heart should not be grieved when you give to him, because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand. 11 For the poor will never cease from the land;
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towns freely open 92 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Dt 15:7-8 136
therefore I command you, saying, You shall 6open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land. 93 God will be very pleased to see to that what he gives out to his people they end up sharing without other people. There will always be poor people around you or people who you are simply better than, fellow believers especially couples who are going through one difficulty in their finances or the other. As a couple you can reach out a helping hand to them for there is a strong promise from the Long the lord your God will bless you in all your works. Imagine How much change you can get by just simple been of help to fellow believers. Do not withhold good from 6those to whom it is due, When it is in the power of your hand to do so. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, Go, and come back,
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freely open The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Dt 15:10-11
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Lit. its owners 137
And tomorrow I will give it, When you have it with you.94
Qualities of Good Giving
1) Giving must be Bountiful Giving is about measure, of what you have in your possession, the little for one may be the abundance of another remember the widows mite she gave the best despite her little, she gave all. So you too are expected to give abundantly in line to your income. Never give from your leftovers. The amount you give should show honor both to the Lord and the one who is receiving. Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord your God which He has given you95
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6 dBut
this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows 4bountifully will also reap 4bountifully. 96
People have grown up with a mentality of giving out to the offerings in church and to the poor just the change the get from the grocery stores or some little money they have in their pocket. A bountiful given a well planned
2) Let your Giving be confidential Giving is confidential no matter the type of giving, its a spiritual exercise and each time you give no matter the recipient know and be rest assured that you are doing it for God and not the beneficiary, keep the act secret and you will be rewarded for that.
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Prov. 11:24; 22:9; Gal. 6:7, 9 with blessings
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Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 Therefore, awhen you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret bwill Himself reward you 1openly.97
3) The Givers heart must be willing No one gets rewarded by God for giving and grumbling or regretting. Giving is never convenient to a giver; because it is sacrificial some other thing
a
Rom. 12:8
b 1
Luke 14:1214 NU omits openly 97 The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Mt 6:1-4 140
had to be forgone to accomplish the act of giving. If you give out of your excess no matter how much it is not sacrificial and such a giving is really recognized by God. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of 5necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.98 3) Giving must be in line Love Giving should always be tied with love. "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rues and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone. If a couple respects and apply this heavenly principles of giving then, financial poverty and lack will be completely eradicated from their marriage. This may not appear to be the solution to conquer all your families financial stress, but effectively put it into practice and see how much you have missed out previously from Gods blessings. It is a biblical
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compulsion The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 2 Co 9:7
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covenant and our Lord is a covenant keeping God who is faithful enough to respect his words. These basic yet great principles of giving are sufficient to drive a couple from the street comers to millionaires in whatever currency of their choice. Just ask the Lord in prayers to release the grace of giving for you and your spouse. Without regard of your financial situation there is a more confortable financial future for just obey the scriptures and reap the reward. Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God will set you high above all nations of the earth. 2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God: 3 Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country.99
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Proverbs
o 19:17 He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done. o 28:27 He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses. o 11:24 one man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. NET o 25 The generous soul will be made rich, xAnd he who waters will also be watered himself.
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[Matt. 5:7]
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the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 cDo not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that
b
3 bLet
Ex. 21:10 Joel 2:16
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dSatan
does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.101
Marriage is a life time commitment, and sex is in marriage is an obligation for both the husband and the wife. Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (1Co 7:3 RV) So many relationships has been polluted and eventually terminated because of lack of proper sexual orientation. Sex is an issue that it most believers turn to give it a very shallow look and consider it less important but the reality is that most marriages are going through marital turmoil because of sexual misunderstanding, which is a serious pollutant.
d
1 Thess. 3:5
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The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. 1 Co 7:3-5 145
When there a sexual misunderstanding it later produces sexual incompatibility which is not healthy for married couple, irrespective how the partners may pretend. When there deprivation of sexual activity or incompatibility it defeats one of the very purpose which marriage was intended for. but hif they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.102
9
This has brought serious damaging consequences to relationships such as adultery. With an immature Christian or a partner who is not a believer, sexually incompatible or sexual deprivation may allow the partner become tempted to engaged or get a support system to meet that need. 1Tim 5:14 So I want younger women to marry, raise children, and manage a household, in order to give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us. Remember the devil is always watching to still, kill and to destroy marriages so with this he will expose
h
1 Tim. 5:14
102
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the spouse sinful situations. This will in turn pollute and corrupt the marriage. Sexual incompatibilities will also result to expression of frustration through anger, rudeness, quarrels over irrelevant issues, constant disagreement over trivial matters, poor communication, loss of appetite, lack of concentration during communal prayers and flash back of previous relationships if any or a consideration of new link of sexual sustainability.
Resolving Sexual Incompatibility and Sexual Deprivation Sexual incompatibility can be realized immediately after a weeding or during the relationship as years go bye. When it is noticed it does not call for panic, the remedy to it is quit strait forward: Openness; In any case weather in sexual incompatibility or deprivation, openness is a very high quality for a successful marriage. Never hide anything from your spouse for from the day of vows you have become one flesh, be open in regards to your feelings and your expectations and try to strike a balance from his or her own side. The results may not
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come immediately but through the willingness to learn and change, great results will be met. Communication; having a good case and communicating effectively is quite daunting some times when it has to do with bed issues. On the contrary talk about it. In a relaxed and private environment. Make sure you begin from positive to negative areas of the affair. Dont be angry or so serious about it; try to be soft about this. Through communication sustainable results will be met. It may not be a once off topic if there is no improvement give some time before you raise up the issue or a complain , teach where necessary. Be patient; give your partner time gradually there will be compatibility or the deprivation will seize. Practically speaking you have no option; marriage is for better for worse the scripture does not give room for divorce or any deviant behavior of any sort so exercise patience and God will see you through. Never try to look back and compare with previous relationships (or partners) this will kill your marriage or open door for adultery. It is always a better choice to make your partner whom you want him or her to be.
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Change; in some cases you the complainant will be the one who have to change may be your expectations are too high and you are been too demanding. You can find this out after properly applying the first two points. Dont always regard what you do to be right rather try what the next your partner has, it might just be that you are the bad guy. Or at least strike a balance. Prayers; surrendering the case to Jesus in prayers is the best option for is there anything too hard for God to do? The problem is that Christians believe these are not issues that the Lord should be involved with or that he can handle. Some think the Lord stays in church building so what happens in their bed rooms cannot be mentioned to him. God is a witness to marriage and he is ready and willing to give a helping hand no matter the challenge. This can be a very serious burden but Jesus says come to me all you who are over burden and I will give you rest. So never cover it up ,submit it in prayers. Dont draw Conclusions; there is a common notion that incompatibility or sexual deprivation is as a result of an extra-marital
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affair. Never work on this philosophy, it is prejudice. Its caused sometimes by ignorance, fear, putting more attention of a job or business, stress or previous experience. So through the intervention of God and the application of these among others sexual incompatibility and sexual deprivation can be effectively dealt with to produce lasting and enjoyable results.
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The constant Change taking place in cities and nations has kept every successful man or woman constantly busy in order to keep abreast to this dynamism. People work longer hours in venues far from home and family to meet up with the expectations put in front of them by the companies, business, organizations or governments. In the recent past this aspect of busy schedules was tied mostly to the men while the women did the house administration, but this too has evolved. Both men and women are equally caught up in the same trap. God has always supported hard work for humanity
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He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. (Pro 10:4 RV) But if any provideth not for his own, and specially his own household, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever. (1Ti 5:8 RV) So Every Man or woman is expected to Work for the maintenance survival and growth of his or her family. That notwithstanding when work dominates marriage, the pioneer institution on earth it becomes a misplaced priority and its a polluting factor to the survival of marriage and the society as a whole. Without regard of the carrier path, your position in your company or the nature of business or job, create sufficient time to attend to your marriage, always make your marriage a priority. What kills must people in this area is assumptions,
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They think their partner is okay with their busy schedule, they think their spouse understands. They also think since as the job or the business yields profitable reward it is satisfactory to their partner They think is just a matter of time it will soon stop On the contrary most partners accept these busy schedules just to please the husband or wife outwardly and even if they do from their hearts, its just momentary. Spending quality time as husband and wife is a need that must be met. Without which consequences are bound. This time even children cannot come between. If a spouse stays away from his or her partner it gives room for sexual immorality, such as adultery, incest, masturbation, lust and even rape in extreme circumstances. We are not fighting against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers, so the enemy is looking for the slightest jab to maneuver himself into what God has joint together. When a partner becomes too busy with work and spends less time with his spouse there is a tendency
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for him, her or both to fall out of love, this has destroyed countless marriages across the world. As they begin to get more engaged with job related activities and people involved in these jobs, because of the need that arises from the little spent with the partner, they naturally begin to develop some affection towards the people they meet on a more frequent note. If care is not taking it may affect the relationship with the spouse. If couples start spending more time on the job than with their spouse the glory of God over that marriage decreases for after Holy matrimony you have become one flesh with your spouse and yet you cannot stay together with your own flesh then it is impossible to stay real close to God. A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. There is a normal tendency for prayers to drop. Most often Sunday fellowships becomes a problem because of the travels and conferences here and there it becomes impossible for the busy couple to attend worships, bible studies ,prayer meetings, church seminars. With the Absence of all of these the relationship between the marriage and God is strained. This becomes idolatry putting not just you job or business before your wife but also before God.
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Becoming too busy and creating less time for your spouse opens windows for suspicions between couples. Partners begin to suspect one another in hidden, if this persists out mere presumptions spouse may start cheating on the partner on basis that he is doing something similar. If kids are involved it makes the consequences more aggravating. Not only on partners put also affecting the children negatively. Work schedules should be mapped around family time and not the other round. Every career should take the family time as a priority. The Economic situation of the family may warrant a particular job at a particular time but note should be taking that our God is a great provider he will not give us a job that will kill our marital expectations. Never place your socioeconomic goals before your marriage. If we place our hope in him and ask he will provide the right job that will allow us create time for the Lord and our partners. Choosing a job or a career path is cable to terminate your marriage contract if the schedule is not jointly and thoroughly worked on.
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Levity of
"He who has the spirit of prayer has the highest interest in the court of heaven. And the only way to retain it is to keep it in constant employment. Apostasy begins in the closet. No man ever backslid from the life and
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power of Christianity who continued constant and fervent in private prayer. He who prays without ceasing is likely to rejoice evermore." -- Adam Clarke
"You need not utterly despair even of those who for the present 'turn again and rend you.' For if all your arguments and persuasives fail, there is yet another remedy left, and one that is frequently found effectual, when no other method avails. This is prayer. Therefore, whatsoever you desire or want, either for others or for your own soul, 'Ask, and it shall be given you.'" -- John Wesley
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"HOW vast are the possibilities of prayer! How wide is its reach! What great things are accomplished by this divinely appointed means of grace! It lays its hand on Almighty God and moves Him to do what He would not otherwise do if prayer was not offered. It brings things to pass which would never otherwise occur. The story of prayer is the story of great achievements. Prayer is a wonderful power placed by Almighty God in the hands of His saints, which may be used to accomplish great purposes and to achieve unusual results. Prayer reaches to everything,takes in all things great and small which are promised by God to the children of men
All the frustrations that emanates from marital conflicts and the daily struggles is as a results of the fact that married couples do neglect prayers. Despite the challenge the basic fact to all challenges couples face is due to the absence or a weak prayer wife they go through. The reason why there is a husband or wives that live in secret sin; cheats or commits adultery regularly is
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because he or she together with the spouse dont pray, even if they do pray they are not committed and consistent to it. This explains why spouse becomes addicted with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and other addictive substances. Couples fall out of love, engage in so much work at the detriment of their marital, incessant quarrels at home, and physical violence all as a result of ignorance of the power of prayers. Most often all social remedies like counselings, separations, expensive gifts and holidays produces very little effects or no solution at all. No other agencies sort can replace effective prayers as a means to sustain a marriage, from either one of the couple or both couples. Having a spiritual couch who intercedes for your marriage is not sufficient. You husband or your wife can only be made to your taste in line with the will of God through consistent prayers. Through prayers marriage will never be polluted for any reason because all of Satans schemes will be busted prior to their physical manifestation. Praying continually is a command from the scriptures. Prayer is the strongest pillar to keep a marriage healthy for as long the couples live.
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Pray without ceasing (1Th 5:17 RV) It is important to find out the importance of Prayers in Marriage. What makes prayers so vital to the existence of marriage? What about couples who have celebrated fifty years anniversary in marriage without even knowing our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ? Being together as couples does not guarantee the manifestation of the fullness of Gods wills for that relationship, God wants the best for us. Even when we think we have it all there is something or a place higher and better than what we have. There is a better and a perfect side of marriage which at the moment is uncovered and can only be discovered when you dedicate yourself to constant prayers.
Why should Marriage Couples Pray consistently
Fellowship Prayers bring you closer builds a stronger bond between you and God.
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God is faithful, through whom ye were called into the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. (1Co 1:9 RV) This fellowship can only be sustained through prayers. Imagine yourself having a friend whom you know but you never communicate with him or her. It is certain after w while this relationship is gradually depreciate and abandon if no effort is made to restore communication. Through prayers you keep a better relationship with the Lord and through his faithfulness and will bring all his promises to pass in you and definitely your marriage. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. (1Co 6:17 RV) You can only be fully joint onto the Lord through prayers. Holy Spirit There is no better and stronger marital union that one which is the couples are filled and led by the Holy Spirit. This is the Pinnacle of marital fulfilment when a couple are baptised and filled with the Holy
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Spirit. There is no greater Joy than this. In his presence there is fullness of Joy. And be not drunken with wine, wherein is riot, but be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18 RV) It is the responsibility of every individual to be filled with the spirit. Your Body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; however you have a responsibility to activate it through Prayers (Mostly tongues), practicing the word and fasting according to the grace that is in you.
A marriage where the Holy Spirit is activated makes creates an environment for the manifestations of the fruits of the Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (Gal 5:22 RV) On the other hand life without the spirit is the evidence of what is happening in most marriages:
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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, heresies, (Gal 5:19-20 RV) The absence of the Holy Spirit has untold suffering to couples. The above vices are so complex for couples to manage that is why life without the spirit will often give birth to divorce. From the evidence from the scriptures above you can make a choice. If you make a choice to work according to the spirit, then the price is prayer. Imagine you and your partner possessing the above qualities in full measure. Any wise person should stop at nothing to go after the Holy Spirit to really enjoy the best of marriage form God. This comes at no other price than through prayers. Develop prayer lifestyle. Keep Dominion over the Adversary One reason why married couples must pray is to maintain a total dominion over the Devil and his tricks. As earlier mentioned marriage is a spiritual institution, instituted and supported by our Lord
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and saviour in the Garden of Eden. This makes the devil a direct adversary to every marriage; hence every marriage is a target of the enemy to destroy and reap them off the benefits that comes with marriage. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the worldrulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Eph 6:12 RV) There is a need to wrestle and keep all the activities of the devil checked this comes through persistent prayers. All the pollutions in marriage are the manifestations of Satans wiles so a praying life style is a necessity for any successful marriage. The next reason why marriage couples need to persistently pray is obtain their needs. It is Gods ordained way to receive things from him. Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and covet, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war; ye have not, because ye ask not. (Jas 4:2 RV)
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In order to receive all the good things of life to enjoy marriage you need to ask from the Lord. Be it material, spiritual, or social. All your desires as to whom and what you want your spouse to be can only be obtained through prayers the reason you have not had it only now is as a result of neglect in prayers. There is a need to bring all your wish list to reality to the glory of God. It is not the will of God that your desires and dreams die unfulfilled just engage in prayers you will achieve it. Couples need a praying lifestyle to help them in time of need. When you pray constantly you draw closer to the Lord you obtain grace to function in a time when the circumstances will be beyond the understanding of the couple. Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help us in time of need. (Heb 4:16 RV) There is always a time in life when we are faced with difficult situations; it could be an accident, a serious misunderstanding in your marriage, a crisis in your place of work, a set up for a jail sentence or a health challenge. In times like this your money or influence
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cannot help out. What will stand out as immediate rescue is the grace you obtained from the throne of your Lord Jesus during prayers prior to that event. Prayer is like making a cash deposit in a bank account to be used in for a purpose in the future. When you pray you obtained grace to be used for a particular reason in the future. Joy Prayer brings joy to your marriage. Joy is a tool for marriage which no amount of money or wealth can purchase. If this was possible the royal families and presidents of nations, multinational corporations TV Celebrities and every category of the rich would have had the best marriages. On the contrary, this category of couples record very low levels of joy in their relationships. Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be fulfilled. (Joh 16:24 RV) There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is momentary while joy is lasting. Happiness can be obtained from wealth, pleasure, social relations and much more but it has a time
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frame which it stops. But joy is lasting it begins now and runs until eternity. This Joy can only manifest in you and your marriage if you commit yourself to constant sleepless and persistent prayers. Through prayers the kingdom of God will live in you and there shall be materialization of the spirit of Joy and peace. For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. (Rom 14:17 RV) Thanksgiving Couples must pray in order to render gratitude to God, for what he is doing and this can effectively be done through prayers. One reason why marriages dont grow is a result of ingratitude. Giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; (Eph 5:20 RV) Whether in good or bad couples must develop an altitude of thanksgiving; it will open up more doors for the Lord to be able to door more. Thanksgiving is
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a form of worship. It acknowledges the sovereignty and power of the Lord. keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened for you. Because everyone who keeps asking will receive and the person who keeps searching will find and the persons who keeps knocking will have the door opened (Mt 7:7-8 ISV).
Now it was in those days that Jesus went to a mountain to pray, and spent the whole night in prayer to God (Lk 6:12 ISV). If Jesus though God despite his busy schedule sacrificed time to pray what of you, you ought to pray constantly for your marriage
The Great Payer
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In our contemporary communities even in churches there exist a very weak atmosphere of prayers. Believers are growing everyday with the mentality that prays is for a group of people; prayer warriors (intercessors), pastors and his or her staff. They live a life without prayers in the evil day they now rush to the church for help. Consulting the pastors and intercessors for help is good but is for the immature Christians. For one who is built up with the whole amour of God will have people running to him or her for help. Prayer is a commandment. With all prayer and supplication praying at all seasons in the Spirit, and watching thereunto in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints, (Eph 6:18 RV) Prayer is not to be done only when we are in need, is an expression of the love we have for the father and as an appreciation we have for Jesus for his sacrificial death on the Cross. A great prayer is a prayer that is persistent determined and full of assurance of the answer. Irrespective of the topic or your request Jesus is so full of love that he made the commitment to answer the call in the call.
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keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened for you. Because everyone who keeps asking will receive and the person who keeps searching will find and the persons who keeps knocking will have the door opened (Mt 7:7-8 ISV). Some people get so hooked up with trying to find out what Gods will is in regard to a particular situation. That might not be too relevant for the moment just start praying, your faith can fetch you anything. This was demonstrated in the faith of the Canaanite woman. The womans desire was granted not by Jesuss will but according to her will because of her persistence and faith. Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it done unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was healed from that hour. (Mat 15:28 RV) Your spouse altitude may just keep deteriorating almost on a daily bases. He or she may be an alcoholic, a drug addict, adultery or any other worse
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characteristics. If you lose your husband or your wife then you are weak in prayer. Every Marital situation ranging from internal and external pollutions can be effectively dealt with in prayers. Marital challenges can only be dealt with through a great prayer. And he spake a parable unto them to the end that they ought always to pray, and not to faint; saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, and regarded not man: and there was a widow in that city; and she came oft unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest she wear me out by her continual coming. And the Lord said, Hear what the unrighteous judge saith. And shall not God avenge his elect, which cry to him day and night, and he is longsuffering over them? I say unto you, that he will avenge them speedily. Howbeit when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth? (Luk 18:1-8 RV)
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It Is Spiritual Laziness and Unbelief to Give Up Too Soon There are many who, when they pray for a thing once or twice and do not get it,stop praying. They call it "submission to the will of God" to pray no longer when God does not grant their request at the first or second asking. They say, "Well, perhaps it is not Gods will." They call that submission to the will of God. But as a rule, this is not submission to His will, but spiritual laziness and lack of determination in that most all-important of all human lines of effortprayer. None of us ever think of calling it submission to the will of God when we give up after one or two efforts to obtain things by our lack of strength of character. When the strong man of action starts out to accomplish a thing, if he does not accomplish it the first, or the second, or the hundredth time, he keeps hammering away until he does. Just so when the strong man of prayer starts to pray for a thing, he keeps on praying until he prays it through and obtains what he seeks. How fond we are of calling bad things in our conduct by good names. We call our spiritual inertia and laziness and indifference "submission to the will of God." We should be very careful about what we ask from God; but when we do begin to pray for a thing, we
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must never give up until we get it, or until God definitely makes it very clear that it is not His will to give it.a12
The kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the 1rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
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The heart of your husband or wife is in the hands of the Lord you can stir it up to any positive direction you want through prayers. Changing you and your partner will come through prayer.
channels
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Index
2
The New King James Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1982, S. Col 1:19-23 a12 How to pray . RA Torrey
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9. SEXUAL OBLIGATION..144 10. MISPLACED PRIORITY....151 11. THE ULTIMATE DISINFECTANT.156

Marital Pollutions Sanitized

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Mal. 2:14; [Matt. 5:32]

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Deut. 24:1; [Jer. 3:1]; Mark 10:2

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John 17:23; Eph. 3:17; [Col. 1:23]

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that binds them as husbands automatically becomes stronger.

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And your wife by covenant.

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God then got a wife for Adam.

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And Adam said:

Gen. 15:12; 1 Sam. 26:12

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Gen. 29:14; Eph. 5:2830 Heb. Ishshah

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Gen. 27:20; Neh. 1:11; Ps. 37:5 Gen. 24:43

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Erotic Love is Not Sustainable Enough

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Ezek. 27:1222; Rev. 17:4 45

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