RIGHT MENTAL HEALTH

Common Sense Psychotherapy

435 Park Ave.
Lebanon, TN 37087
Vol. 2 No. 2, Feb. 2009 o: (615) 453-7530

Misbehavior in Daycare Children (final part) robert@robertcassman.com

Robert R. Cassman, MA

In 1999 the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development On the Couch
(NICHD) published a study that has now received a lot of attention.
One thousand children across the country were studied over a span of Compared to kids that stay
home, daycare kids are:
years. The study essentially reported that the more time children spend
away from their mothers, the worse off they are, behaviorally. In 2003, • 18 times more likely to
regarding the NICHD project, it was noted “More time in care not only be sick
predicted problem behavior measured on a continuous scale in a dose- • 4.5 times more likely to
response pattern but also predicted at-risk levels of problem behavior, be hospitalized
as well as assertiveness, disobedience, and aggression.”
• Twice as likely to
develop ear infections
According to Jay Belsky, one of the lead researchers, the studied
behavior was defined very specifically. Aggression was defined as • 12 times more likely to
“cruelty to others, destroys own things, gets in many fights, threatens develop hemophilus
others, and hits others.” Continued on Page 2 influenza type B
• 20 times more likely to
Know Your ABC's develop diarrhea
Robert R. Cassman, MA
• 3 times more likely to
have Sudden Infant
You would probably have a hard time Death Syndrome
going through life without knowing the
alphabet. Knowing your ABC's is very
simple, but important. The same goes for
your mental ABC's. Most people believe that bad things happen to them and then cause them to feel
bad. But this is not true. When bad things happen to us, we sometimes choose to think of that
"thing" as bad. We then feel bad. Knowing your mental ABC's helps you to see the "silver lining" in
suffering. Continued on Page 3

In This Issue:
Misbehavior in Daycare Children p. 1 ♦ Know Your ABC's p. 1
Fortune Teller Error p. 2 ♦ Mental Health Headlines p. 2
Reader Feedback p.4
www.RobertCassman.com 1
Right Thinking
With the “Fortune Teller Error” you think that events will turn out badly and
begin living as if that's true. This is a form of “Jumping to Conclusions”. When
you use this way of thinking, you believe that you know how something is going to
turn out and then react to that thought! In reality, you are reacting to what you
perceive to be the future. You are reacting to something that may not even happen.
Superstitious people fall prey to this way of thinking. When people say “I'm
cursed, bad things happen to me” they then begin to feel bad.

Instead of thinking this way, try to look at life as realistic as possible. It may be
that things are not going your way... but maybe not. Always emotionally reacting to the future leads to
trouble. You can plan for the future, but to be worked up emotionally is not healthy. Anxiety is the
number 1 psychological problem. A lot of anxiety is future-based stress. Always ask yourself, “How
do I know for sure that it will turn out bad?” You can make your own future, and it starts by thinking
differently about the present. What can you do right now, in the present to change your situation?

Mental Health Headlines

Chaotic Households Contribute To Mothers' alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana by age 14.
Obesity Uninvolved, unsupportive parenting heralds a spike
Putting food on the table, struggling with in consumption of these substances among
unemployment and meeting the relentless needs of genetically vulnerable teens.
young children all contribute to household stress. Bullies May Enjoy Seeing Others In Pain
Now, a new study finds that these pressures also Unusually aggressive youth may actually enjoy
increase the possibility that a mother will be inflicting pain on others, research using brain
obese. The average age of the mothers was 28, scans at the University of Chicago shows. Scans of
and 40 percent of children did not have a father inthe aggressive youth's brains showed that an area
the house. that is associated with rewards was highlighted
Teen Media Exposure Associated With Depression when the youth watched a video clip of someone
Symptoms In Young Adulthood inflicting pain on another person.
Exposure to more television and other electronic Teen Marijuana Use No Longer Declining
media during the teenage years appears to be Overall, 47 percent of 12th graders, 34 percent of
associated with developing depression symptoms in 10th graders and 20 percent of eighth graders
young adulthood, especially among men.
reported ever having used an illicit drug, the
Study Suggests Why Gut Instincts Work researchers said.
After conducting some unique memory and Family Meals Keep Teen Girls from Drugs
recognition tests, while also recording subjects'
brain waves, scientists conclude that some gut Adolescent girls who sit down for frequent meals
feelings are not just guesswork after all. Rather, with their families are half as likely to smoke, drink
we access memories we aren't even aware we and use marijuana as those who share family meals
have. less often, according to a new study. Previous
research... found that frequent family meals are
Parenting Shapes Genetic Risk for Drug Use associated with better nutrition, higher grades,
Good parenting provides a potent buffer against lower risks of suicide and depression, and with
some youngsters’ genetic predisposition to use
lower prevalence of eating disorders in girls.

www.RobertCassman.com 2
Continued Daycare
Noncompliance & disobedience was defined as
“defiant, uncooperative, fails to carry out assigned
tasks, temper tantrums, and disrupts class
discipline.” Assertiveness meant
“bragging/boasting, talks too much,
demands/wants attention, and argues a lot.” All of
these behaviors increased the longer the child was
away from the mother.
While older
preschoolers in day care
require somewhat less
maintenance, they also
get crowded into larger
groups—typically from
eight to 15 youngsters
per adult. This also
results in inadequate
care. The average
toddler makes 10
overtures an hour to his
primary caretaker,
according to studies. A
day care worker
responsible for 10 toddlers would thus be faced
with an overture every 35 seconds. Obviously
most will be ignored. The assistance, praise, rule-
teaching, discipline, and reinforcement that one- to
three-years-olds need will often not be provided.
In my counseling work, it is very common
to find out that my drug abusing client did not
have a good attachment as a child. Now, this
certainly does not mean that one causes the other.
Continued Know Your ABC's...
If we believe that things outside of us can
cause us to feel a certain way, then we don’t have
much power. In fact, we are completely at the
mercy of… well everything! If it rains then I am
going to feel bad. If my car gets a flat, then I am
going to have a bad day. But is any of this true?
Does it even work very well? The A-B-C model
However, the correlation cannot be ignored.
Some of my clients do not know how to handle
stress in the least bit. Day cares have been
accused of creating unnatural stressful
environments. In fact, levels of cortisol, a
chemical indicating stress, rose as the day went on
for children in day care. This is significant
because normally, people’s cortisol level starts
high and lowers throughout the day. The
researchers were… stressed at these findings,
reporting “…this study raises questions about the
degree of stress that toddlers and preschoolers
experience in all-day group day-care settings.”
Eventually, Jay Belsky former colleague and
opponent Allison Clarke-Stewart said that day care
kids “are less polite, less agreeable, less respectful
of others’ rights, more irritable, more rebellious
and more aggressive with their peers.” Finally a
consensus, right? Well, not exactly. Clarke-
Stewart would go on to admire the children’s’
independent spirit and excuse their misbehavior:
“Children who have been in day care think for
themselves and want their own way… They are
not willing to comply with adults’ arbitrary rules.”
Now we are getting to the heart of the manner.
Adults are continuously making excuses
for the behavior of children. In this instance, the
children are described as being independent,
wanting to “think for themselves.” This sort of
stupidity breeds more misbehavior. We are back
to adults misbehaving, again! And is it a wonder,
anymore, why kids are so messed up? -RMH
of thinking explains that it is our thoughts that
cause those emotions. Whether the emotions are
good or bad, they are caused by our thoughts.
People are so used to thinking of this the wrong
way. People tend to tell me that they have no
control over what they think... that these negative
thoughts simply “pop in my head”. What is really
www.RobertCassman.com 3
happening is that we get used to reacting a certain
type of way so much that it is almost like second
nature to us. These negative thoughts become
“automatic”. We tend to react negatively to the
same sort of situation all the time. Take a look at
the A-B-C model and then consider my example.
A→B→C
Activating Event Belief Consequence
Here's an example: My boss comes in and
begins yelling at me and using foul language. This
is the A, the Activating Event. I immediately think
something about being yelled at. This is the B, the
Belief (or Self-Talk) about how my boss has
treated me. This Self-Talk then leads to an
emotion or behavior. This is the C, the
Consequence. If I begin to feel bad, it is NOT
because of my boss' actions. It is because of what
I said to myself about my boss's actions. It is my
negative Self-Talk. This may be hard to believe,
but think about it: How do some people seem to be able to change other people. But we can
keep their cool in situations while others seem to change the way we react to other people, just like
lose theirs? It is the same situation, but they are the little engine. -RMH
reacting differently to it. You can choose your
reaction. So, when my boss yells at me
Reader Feedback
“Wonderful articles and “Good articles. I see some of my grandson in that
beautifully written.”
“Very interesting regarding
the misbehavior in daycare
children. I am big into
"attachment- based parenting" (really just a name
for parenting the natural God-given way since
birth)... It breaks my heart to see how parents are
raising their children to be "de-tached" from birth,
and the long term consequences are just
devastating. I think more articles on this, and
attachment based parenting, perhaps research
related to this, will be very interesting for parents
to read. Parents need to know the Truth of how
(Activating Event), I can choose to say to myself
"He must be in a bad mood, I don't have to take it
personally" (Belief), and then be able to shrug it
off (Consequence). Remember, consequences are
not always bad. They are simply the result of
some action or belief. The only thing I can control
is my self-talk, the B of the A-B-C model of
thinking.
Too often people internalize what belongs
on the external. Just because we mess up does not
make us mess-ups. When parents blow things out
of proportion what they are doing is telling
themselves (at B) that the
spilled milk is a big deal.
In reality, it really isn't that
big of deal. We can't
effectively deal with our
surroundings if we are
constantly talking
negatively to ourselves.
We are not going to
children should be loved and cherished.”
article [Daycare Misbehavior].”
“The post-abortion article is intriguing. I am
always praying for you guys on the Rachel's
Vineyard team who are involved in this. I used to
do sidewalk counseling and prayer outside of a
clinic... on Sat. mornings after Mass... God bless
you guys for doing what you do!”
“Please keep them coming. I will pass them on.
Great job.”
Thanks to all of you for the kind words I have
received after starting this little newsletter. If you
have any suggestions for articles or topics, just
email me at robert@robertcassman.com
www.RobertCassman.com 4