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Lesson 6

A Sticky Winchester Church of Christ

Mix students and adults at tables for this lesson. Church announcements (with one from Frank), upcoming events, and prayer. Sticky Families, A Sticky WYG, and now, A Sticky WCoC. Starting Up Show video: A Tale of Two Tables. In an effort to offer relevant and developmentally appropriate teaching and fellowship for children and teenagers, we have segregatedand I use that verb intentionally but not lightlykids from the rest of the church. The authors call this the Kids Table Catastrophe. Some churches end up resembling this one-eared Mickey Mouse: the youth ministry is the one ear, connected to the church (the Mickey mouse body) but not interwoven with the church. From a Student: I wish that there had been an intentional effort by the church to integrate the teenagers in the body with older believers. Although I was able to do this because of my parents direction, many of the other teenagers were content to remain in youth group, largely separated from the vision and ministry of the church at large. While it may have driven some youth away, I would have liked to see more integration within the larger church body. I believe our congregation and churches of Christ in general have done a better job of staying integrated than some other Christian groups. However, I also believe there are still opportunities for greater connectivity between people of all ages here!

Sticky Findings 1. We need to welcome children as Jesus did. Quick Bible Study of Luke 9:46-48 (for review, see pp. 95-96). 2. Involvement in all-church worship is linked with mature faith. The closest our research has come to that definitive silver bullet is this sticky finding: for high school and college students, there is a relationship between attendance at church-wide worship services and Sticky Faith. 3. Teenagers who serve young children build sticky faith. The high school students we surveyed who served in childrens or middle school ministry seemed to have stickier faith in both high school and college. And heres a wonderful by-product from this involvement: Young children at church tend to assume that adults will pay attention to them, but when big kids do, their self-esteem and their love for church skyrocket. 4. High school seniors crave support from adults in their congregations. By far, the number one way that churches made the teens in our survey feel welcomed and valued was when adults in the congregation showed an interest in them. More than any single program or event, adults making the effort to get to know the kids was far more likely to make the kids feel like a significant part of their church. From a Student: I couldnt leave the church each week without being stopped by several adults in the church and engaging in lengthy conversations with each of them. The women of my church were very present when my mother died after my junior year of high school. Basically, I knew at least half of the people in my church fairly well, and they were very supportive of me. 5. Contact from adults in the church makes a difference to college freshmen. Contact from at least one adult from the congregation outside the youth ministry during the first semester of college is linked with Sticky Faith.

6. College freshmen have difficulty finding a church. The top difficulties for college freshmen: (1) friendship, (2) aloneness, and (3) finding a church. The reason that finding a church is difficult is because the average youth group grad knows the youth group, but not the church. Toward a Stickier Church I want to tell you about the New 5:1 Ratio. Many childrens and youth ministries say they want to have a 1:5 ratio of adults to kids (meaning they want one adult for every five kids) for their Sunday school class or small groups. What if we reversed that? What if we said we want a 5:1 adult-to-kid ratiofive adults caring for each kid? We parents must recognize that our children need the influence of other faithful adults in their lives. (Read Tony Dungy storystarts with Other adults on p. 105 and ends with who finally got through. on p. 106.) Heres something else: Consider intentionally building friendships with adults of all ages. We need more relationships in church that look like this. (Show picture of Russell and Mr. Fredrickson from the movie Up.) The authors say that theres a special tenderness teenagers hold for senior adults, and vice versa. One of the big suggestions the authors give for building a sticky web of relationships is this: Be Intentional. Sticky social webs dont happen by accident. From a Student: Our parents were all close friends and they all did Bible studies together or just hung out outside of school. You were always doing something with the church families and I think that early development of getting to know the families when I was at a younger age encouraged the acceptance of us by the time we got in high school because we had already developed good relationships with them.

Idea Sharing for a Stickier Church (Give each prompt to a couple of tables. Have blank paper at each table.) Think of some ideas for incorporating the 5:1 ratio into existing church programs. Use service or justice work as a springboard for intergenerational relationships. WYG + Senior Saints Party See pp. 112-13 for the books ideas. Name of young people on bulletin board, adults pull off name and send note of encouragement/ and vice-versa Adapt meal ministry to involve young people

Think of some brand new activities/events/programs for applying the 5:1 ratio. Prayer Warriors (older adults assigned one teenager to pray for) Adopt-a-Student/ Adopt-a-Grandparent Adults go to extracurricular activities of young people

Think of some ideas for making our worship times more intergenerational. See pp. 113-16 for the books thoughts. Involving children in behind the scenes and service roles in worship Young person accompany older person to take communion to shut-ins

Think of some ideas for rituals or rites of passage for children and teenagers that could increase intergenerational relationships. See pp. 117-18 for the books suggestions. Kids serve a Thanksgiving meal for older members