Below are my top 10 verbal communication tips we should all strive to master.

Each of these is just as important in our personal lives as in our professional lives. By improving your verbal communication skills you will quickly connect and build rapport, earn respect, gain influence, and become more likable and accepted. 1. Be friendly. People who communicate with a friendly tone and warm smile almost always have the edge. The reason is simple: we are subconsciously drawn to people who are friendly because they make us feel good and bring more enjoyment to our lives. 2. Think before you speak. One of my favorite English Proverbs is Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. I find that many people say whatever goes through their minds without putting any thought into what they are saying. As a result they say things that end up reflecting poorly on themselves. 3. Be clear. Most of us dont have the time nor do we want to spend our emotional energy to figure out what someone else is trying to say. People who are indirect in their verbal communication and who tend to hint at things without saying whats really on their mind are seldom respected. When there is something you want to say, ask yourself, What is the clearest way I can communicate this point? 4. Dont talk too much. Last week I met with a personal chef. At first I was impressed with him and considered hiring him for an upcoming event. However, the more he talked the less impressed I became. Very few people like to be around someone who talks too much and dominates the conversation. 5. Be your authentic self. Today, (more than anytime during my lifetime), people are turned off by those people who feel the need to put on a show to make their point. Instead, people are attracted to someone who speaks from the heart and is genuine, transparent, and real. 6. Practice humility. Humility is having a modest view of ones own importance. It is one of the most attractive personality traits one can possess and is one of the most significant predictors of someone who is respected. People who speak with humility and genuine respect for others are almost always held in high regard. 7. Speak with confidence. You dont have to sacrifice self-confidence to practice humility. Confidence is a selfassurance arising from an appreciation of ones true abilities, whereas humility is having a modest opinion of ones own importance. Speaking with confidence includes the words you choose, the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and body language. 8. Focus on your body language. When you are engaged in face-to-face verbal communication, your body language can play as significant of a role in the message you communicate as the words you speak. Your body language communicates respect and interest. It puts real meaning behind your words. 9 Be concise. Very few things are more irritating to me than when someone cant get to the point of what he or she is trying to say. Plan ahead. Constantly ask yourself, How can I say what needs to be said using the fewest

number of words possible while still being courteous and respectful?

10. Learn the art of listening. Being an attentive listener is more important in verbal communication than any words that can come out of your mouth. You must show a sincere interest in what is being said, ask good questions, listen for the message within the message, and avoid interrupting. Bonus Tip: Verbal Modeling. People are naturally drawn to people like themselves. This is why many of your friends share common interests. You can use this law of human nature to your advantage by matching peoples voice tone and modulation. If they are speaking softly, speak softly. If they are speaking slowly, then model their speed by talking

slowly. If they are speaking with energy, then match their energy. The more you speak like others, the more they will like you. I encourage you to put a greater emphasis on growing and developing yourself in this area. Your efforts will enhance your relationships, increase your market value, and build your self-esteem. Improving your verbal communication skills requires constant awareness, intentional effort, and the desire to improve.

GOOD LISTENER
Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us. Have you ever talked to someone and noticed he or she wasnt really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Unimportant? Disrespected? Insulted? Remember those feelings and work diligently to ensure that people never feel the same way when they talk to you. In this post I will highlight 10 things I have learned throughout my career in addition to some lessons my dad taught me. My dad is the best listener I know. Everyone who meets him forms an instant bond with him and I am convinced that the number one reason for this immediate connection is his genuine and sincere interest in others. It all starts with him being a good listener. 1. Make Eye ContactThe first step in being a good listener is to make eye contact with people while they are talking. Good eye contact demonstrates genuine interest in the person and the conversation. 2. Be PresentI must admit I have been accused at times by my wife of not being present when she is talking even though I am looking into her eyes. These are times when my mind is thinking about something other than what she is talking about. I can only assume others have noticed, but perhaps at the risk of offending me, they have not said anything. The key here is to be aware that people do notice if we are not really listening. And so we must focus on the discussion and not allow our minds to wonder. 3. Give NO Sign You are Ready to RespondWhen you are listening, dont give any clues that you are ready to respond. Dont point your finger and dont open your mouth. When I talk to people and I see that they are waiting on pins and needles to respond, I know they are no longer listening because they are more concerned with how they are going to respond than with listening to what I have to say. 4. Wait Two Seconds to RespondDuring a conversation, wait two seconds after the person finishes speaking to make sure they have finished their thought. This is especially important when talking on the phone, because you cant see their facial expression. Often times they are just pausing to gather their thoughts and are not really finished speaking. If you find yourself talking at the same time someone else is talking, then use that opportunity to remind yourself of the pause two seconds rule. 5. Let Them Go FirstIf you start talking at the same time someone else is trying to finish their thought, STOP and say, Im sorry, please continue and let them finish before responding. Even if what you have to say is important or its an answer to the question they raised, show them your respect by letting them finish. I certainly notice when people allow me to complete my sentences without over talking or interrupting. Do you?

6. Care About Whats Being SaidThis is where my dad stands out from most people. When he listens he really cares about what is being said, even if its a subject that doesnt interest him. He tells me that this is his way of showing people that what they say is important and that they are valuable individuals. 7. Listen For The Message Within The MessageAnother one of my dads skills is to listen for the message within the message. By listening intently, he is able to grasp the topic and move more effectively into the conversation. He says that most people are looking for encouragement, answers or insights to the subjects they discuss. By listening in this manner, he is able to connect more effectively. 8. Dont Change The SubjectWhen you are engaged in a conversation, dont change the subject unless the discussion is finished. I observe people who do this all the time in small group settings, business meetings and social encounters. If you change the subject of a discussion prematurely, you demonstrate a lack of interest in the discussion and indicate that what you have to say is more important. 9. Respond By Asking QuestionsWhen you ask people questions during a conversation, you show a sincere interest in the topic. My dad says that most people operate at the feeling level, rather than the thinking level, even if they are good thinkers. I agree! My Dads favorite question is to ask how they FEEL about the subject they have raised. 10. Dont Start a Side ConversationWhen part of a group conversation, never start a side conversation, even if the person talking is not making eye contact with you. Yes, they should be including you in the conversation by sharing eye contact equally with each person in the group, but dont allow their mistake to prevent you from being a good listener. Like many of the other thoughts I have shared with you, instinctively I know the right thing to do. But doing it consistently is the hard part. Being a good listener requires an intentional effort and above all, a sincere interest in other people. It is a skill worthy of mastering. I am committed to working on being a better listener. Will you commit to showing you care about people by incorporating these ten tips into your daily routine? On a scale of 1-10, whats your commitment?

TO AVOID misunderstandings
Early in my career I found myself being involved in countless situations that resulted in misunderstandings. My natural reaction was to blame others, rather than accept responsibility. I used to think it was the other persons fault if he or she did not understand something or explain something properly. After all, how could it be possible that I was at fault? Then the day came when I made the decision that I would accept 100% responsibility for all misunderstandings in which I am involved. While there have been some painful, costly and frustrating lessons, I have learned something from every misunderstanding and it has made me a better communicator. This decision to accept responsibility for all my miscommunications forced me to not only focus on clear communication, but it has also improved my ability to identify warning signs where there may be a breakdown in communication.

If you will strive for excellence and take pride in the clarity of your communications, your value to the market will increase, peoples respect for you will grow and you will become a more effective leader. Let me share with you six lessons Ive learned about how to avoid misunderstandings. 1. Make Sure Your Written Communications are ClearAlways proof messages after you type them and ask, How could this message be misunderstood? This effort will require a little more time spent thinking about each message, but Ive learned the extra time is worth the investment in your brand. Like anything, the more you focus on the clarity of your communication, the better and faster you will become in the process. 2. Evaluate The Clarity of Your Oral CommunicationsWhether youre having a casual conversation with a friend, giving a dinner guest directions, leaving a voicemail message or providing instructions to a business colleague, focus on the clarity of your oral communications. I often have to remind myself, people arent mind readers and they only know what I tell them. 3. Write ALL Things Down and Repeat Them Make a commitment that from this day forward that you will write all instructions down which are given to you. Whether you are going to the grocery store for your parents or spouse, ordering take-out food for the family from your favorite restaurant or working on an important project, always write things down. Writing things down helps you remember what was asked of you and reduces stress in the process. If you repeat the instructions back to the person who gave them to you, youll avoid any misunderstandings. This extra effort is one of the things that distinguish those at the top of the pay scale from those at the bottom. Its one of the key differentiators between those who are responsible and irresponsible. 4. Watch For Potential MisunderstandingsIf you choose to accept 100% responsibility for all

misunderstandings, something interesting will happen. You will begin to see warnings signs that you have previously overlooked. It may be the look on someones face, a comment they make, a distraction in the background or something else that will give you pause to wonder if there is a potential miscommunication brewing. 5. Confirm All Details and Put Them In WritingWhen I am responsible for an event or task, I have learned to confirm all the details and put them in writing. As an example, if I have a call scheduled, I will confirm the date of the call, the time of the call, the time zone if appropriate, and who is responsible for initiating the call. Once it is confirmed, I put it in my calendar. Sure this requires a little extra effort, but if it avoids misunderstandings, I have found it to be worthwhile. 6. Ask Others to Repeat What They HeardAnother way to avoid misunderstandings is to ask people to repeat your instructions back to you. You might ask someone, Bob, before we wrap up this call, can you please confirm your responsibilities as part of this project. When you ask people to repeat what they heard, not only does it force them to articulate what you said in their own words, but it also significantly reduces the risk of a misunderstanding. I hope todays lesson motivates you to take notice about the clarity of your communications and the potential for misunderstandings. Watch for those red flags to avoid conflict or unpleasant situations. Consistent clearness of expression will have a lasting impact on all of your interactions.

preferred method of communicating

The November 2009 issue of Success Magazinereported the results of a readership survey concerning preferred methods of communication. 950 people responded to the question, What is your preferred method of communicating? Here are their answers:

3% Text Messaging 5% Social Media 13% phone 39% Face to face 40% Email

I always make it a point to read every page of every issue of the magazine, but this one chart displayed on less than a quarter of a page really got my attention. Professionals Preference of Communicating Lets look at the characteristics of the 950 people who responded. The mean household income was $126,300 compared to the national index of $73,600. 53% were self-employed compared to the national index of 6.4% and 89% have a college education compared to the national index of 60.7%. The glaring statistic here that only 3% of these professionals prefer communicating via text messaging. Its not surprising when you think about how texting works and the disruption it can occur in your workday. When you send people text messages, you are most likely interruptinga thought process, meeting or conversation. As pointed out in Controlling Interruptions, every time you are interrupted you lose 10 minutes of productivity. Modeling Accelerates the Rapport Building Process As I shared in Modeling Builds Rapport, the more you appear to have in common with people, the more they will be drawn to you. This is why your friends are likely those with whom you share common interests. So, when I saw the statistics in the magazine survey, I immediately thought about how I could use this data to accelerate the rapport building process. Here is how I have adjusted the way I communicate. First, I am now intentional about communicating with people using their preferred method. In the case of people who prefer to talk on the phone, I call them. If they prefer getting together face-to-face, then I suggest a meeting. I have learned that most people initiate their communications using their preferred method. So I simply observe their method and use it in my communications with them. The Benefits of Using Email This survey also made me think about my preferred method of communication and the rationale for using it. By and large I choose email because of its time management benefits. I can return emails efficiently during scheduled blocks of time. Using email prevents me from being interrupted with non-urgent calls and text messages. I can type 5-10 times faster on my computer keypad than my cell phone keypad. It allows me the flexibility to return emails early in the morning or late at night.

So, for me email is the most convenient and productive way to communicate. But at the same time, I am careful not to be so dependent on email that my important relationships suffer. For this reason I am intentional about calling and getting together with people periodically. Theirs vs. Yours When I build relationships with people, I use their preferred method of communication. Then as appropriate, I transition the bulk of our communications to email, since it is so much more productive. I use the words as appropriate, because in a sales environment, a clients preferences should always be followed as much as possible. Your Take-A-Ways

Determine your preferred method of communication and rationale for using it. Avoid sending business professionals text messages, unless you absolutely know they fall within the 3% category that prefers texting. When building valued relationships, be intentional about communicating with people using their preferred method. As appropriate, slowly transition people to using your preferred method.

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 1)

When we meet people whether it be in person or over the phone, we intuitively and often times within seconds, form an opinion of them. Heres a secret: they do the same thing when meeting us. If we are intentional we can use this natural tendency to positively influence how people view us. And if we are extra intentional and focus on the 12 lessons outlined in this two part series, we can accelerate this process and build rapport in a very short period of time. In yesterdays lesson I reviewed with you the first six ways and in todays lesson I will cover the remaining six. Whether you are trying to make a great first impression on your date or with a prospective client, applying these lessons will allow you to quickly connect with people. 7. Repeat Their Names Have you ever met someone for the first time who hardly looked you in your eyes, said the standard nice to meet you greeting without any authenticity behind their words and couldnt remember your name five seconds later? What impression did this person make on you? When you greet people, make it a point of saying their names in your initial conversation. For example, Its a pleasure to meet you Sharon. And then when the conversation concludes, use their name again such as, Sharon, it was a real pleasure getting to know you. When you say peoples names you are showing them they are important to you. 8. Be FriendlyWhile this seems so obvious, so few people are intentional about coming across friendly when meeting people. Most people act like it is an every day occurrence and dont think about the impression they are making on others. When people are friendly it is generally just during their initial greeting, but then they forget its important.

Not only do you want to be intentional about being friendly when you meet people, but you want to focus on being friendly during your entire time together. When you are authentically friendly it is reflected through your facial expressions, body language, voice tone and through the words you speak. Think of the friendliest people you know and learn from their example. 9. Show an Interest in ThemOne of the keys, if not the most important one in building successful relationships is your ability to show a sincere interest- both in the person and things that are important to that person. The key with this point is to focus on them, NOT you! By expressing genuine interest in someones qualities, background, stories, hobbies, career or family you are demonstrating in interest in them. When I was in real estate I would pay attention to the things in peoples homes, because it told me what is important to them. I then asked them questions about these things and in most cases they lite up like a light bulb and talked with great enthusiasm about these things. It was one thing I focused on in EVERY appointment, because it made a difference. 10. Listen With InterestBeing a good listener is one of the most important skills you can master if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships. Listening is more than keeping your mouth shut while the other person is talking. When you REALLY listen, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. When you are having a conversation with people they can instinctively tell how interested you really are in the conversation. This is communicated through your body language, the questions you ask and the expressions on your face. This is easy for me if its a subject in which I am interested. If the subject is not of interest I have to be extra careful about how I am projecting myself. 11. Compliment ThemWhen people take the time to offer you a sincere compliment, how does that make you feel about them? Are you naturally drawn to people who speak positively of you? When you meet people and begin talking, look for the things in which you can compliment them. When you identify something, then look for the right time to offer your compliment with a feeling of genuineness and authenticity. When I am intentional about building relationships with people I am always look the little ways I can compliment or encourage them. 12. Model ThemHave you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably attract to people into your life that are similar to you. Modeling is a technique I learned from Anthony Robbins, which is when you mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others. As an example, when I am around people who talk softly, then I moderate my voice and speak softly. If they talk slowly, then I will do my best to match their speed and speak slowly. If they lean back in their chair, then I will casually lean back. If they lean forward, I will wait a couple seconds then slowly lean forward. Just remember, the more people intuitively feel you have in common, the more they will be attracted to you. If you will work on the 12 rapport accelerators I have shared with you over the last two days, people will be drawn to you like a magnet. If you are intentional about using these lessons in your career, there is no doubt you will enjoy greater success. If you use them in your personal life, you will build more meaningful relationships and become a more valued friend.

I want to challenge you to focus on these 12 lessons when meeting people this next week. Let me also encourage you to learn more about each of these lessons by reading my related posts below.

The 12 Fastest Ways to Build Rapport (Part 2)

One of the keys to my success as an entrepreneur has been my ability to quickly build rapport with people. This was especially important when I was a realtor as I generally had less than one hour to get a seller to like and trust me enough to employ my services. In this two part series, I will share with you 12 ways you can accelerate the rapport building process. These methods can be used during your next job interview, when you meet with a prospective client or at the next social event you attend. Essentially, they can be used in any situation to quickly build relationships. If you have been following my daily blog posts, you have learned about these lessons when I covered them individually, but in todays lesson I want to highlight their value in quickly building rapport with people youve never met. 1. Be On TimeWhen you are on time for a scheduled meeting, call or appointment you demonstrate your respect for peoples time. You also show that you honor your commitments, you are dependable and can be trusted. When you are late, you do the exact opposite and undermine your ability to quickly build a valued relationship. Starting today, make it a point to arrive five minutes early for all your business and personal appointments. 2. Look GoodThe first impression you make on people creates a lasting impression and it begins with the way we look. A good appearance includes the way you groom yourself and the clothing and jewelry you wear. All these little things combine to form your overall look. If you want to make a great first impression, make sure you look like someone who takes pride in your appearance. Yes, it requires a little extra effort, but it is worth it. 3. SmileWhen you meet people for the first time, the first thing they are going to notice is your overall look, but then their attention will immediately go to your face. If you offer a warm, welcoming and sincere smile, they will be instinctively drawn to you. The key with your smile is to show an authentic interest in the other person, rather than the standard half-hearted smile that almost everyone uses. Not only should you focus on your smile when you first meet a person, but you also want to focus on smiling during your time together. The more you smile, the more people will like you. 4. Make Eye ContactWhen you are engaged in a conversation with someone, make sure you maintain comfortable eye contact with this person. When you make eye contact, focus on communicating your sincere interest in the person, rather than just starring into his or her eyes. Its a small, but powerful distinction. 5. Your HandshakeThe impression you make on people through your handshake influences how they feel about you. A proper handshake is even more important when meeting people for the first time. The manner in which you

extend your hand, the degree of firmness and the timing demonstrate your poise and confidence and will inevitably set the tone for your relationship. Men, when you meet other men, be the first to offer your hand. When meeting women, wait for them to offer their hand. Women, when you meet both men and women in a business environment, immediately offer a firm handshake. Men and women who initiate a handshake are generally viewed as being confident. 6. Make Your Welcome Greeting Stand OutThe key here is to take 10 seconds and make them feel like the most important person on this earth. Most people simply shake a persons hand and say the standard, nice meeting you, so this is your chance to stand out from the crowd as someone who is truly pleased to meet them. If you will be intentional about working on these six points, you will definitely make a positive impression on everyone you meet and you will stand out from the crowd as someone who cares. In tomorrows lesson I will share six more tips to accelerate the rapport building process. 10 Ways to Handle Difficult Conversations Delivering unpleasant news, correcting misunderstandings, confronting a friend or family member, and dealing with hard-to-talk-about issues are the kinds of conversations most of us dread. Theyre a part of life, however, and you cant avoid them. Although you may never be 100 percent comfortable in these situations, there are a number of things you can do to make these necessary talks as productive and painless as possible. When handled calmly and with respect for the other person, even the most challenging conversations can lead to an improved state of affairs for all involved. When you practice the art of handling difficult conversations, you learn valuable lessons about interpersonal communication that can be applied in many different circumstances. In addition, your ability to influence others grows, and so does their respect for you. Below are ten guidelines to help you confront challenging situations. If you are intentional about implementing them, your results will improve and you will be more likely to reach your desired outcome. 1. Choose the right time and place. If you are initiating the conversation, take the emotional climate into account. Dont hold the conversation when the other party is upset or angry. Respect the other persons privacy by minimizing the chance that you may be overheard. Whenever possible, have these conversations face-to-face. 2. Anticipate that you may not be on the same page. Different perceptions of intent, interpretations of the facts, and judgment about what is right or best are usually at the root of all sensitive conversations. When you begin with this in mind, you will not be surprised when these root issues arise. Remember, what may be logical to you make not be logical to others. 3. Use a respectful tone. The tone in which you communicate is as important as what you say. Speak calmly with kindness and respect. Your tone should reflect your willingness for a good outcome which increases the likelihood that your message will be received in the manner in which you intend. 4. Genuinely desire a win-win outcome. If you begin the conversation with the intent to win the other party to your point of view, youll often be disappointed. Instead, aim for a compromise or resolution that satisfies your goal and the needs of the other person. 5. Be empathetic. Try to understand the point of view as well the emotional state of the other person. Ask questions to learn their perspective. Understanding the other partys position, helps you make better decisions on how to address the situation. I have found that, in most cases, the other person is aware of what happened and

usually accepts responsibility to correct the situation. When you show genuine interest in understanding the other persons side of the story, you are more effective in resolving the matter. 6. Maintain eye contact. As in any constructive face-to-face communication, maintaining eye contact helps you gauge the receptivity of the other person throughout the conversation and demonstrates your honesty and desire to listen to the other person. 7. Stay in control. If you express anger, it is natural for the other person to respond accordingly to match your emotional state. Do whatever it takes to remain calm. 8. Write it out. If time permits, it is helpful to put the details of the situation in writing. Include what you wish both parties to achieve. Doing so gives you an opportunity to consider all views and nuances of the situation. Taking the time to properly prepare for any important conversation yields better results. 9. Dont interrupt. When the other person is speaking, never interrupt. Show the other person the respect you want to be shown when you are talking. In addition, dont appear like you are anxious to respond. People who cant wait to speak generally arent listening because they are so focused on what they want to say. 10. Dont team up. Avoid saying things like, Everyone in the department feels the same way, or I have heard about this from countless people. When I hear these kinds of statements, I immediately discount what is being said because in most cases they are exaggerations. If there is an issue that needs to be addressed, resist the temptation to strengthen your position by including others. If the issue is so serious that you need to bring others into the discussion, make sure they are present. If you are a person who dislikes confrontation, difficult conversations of any nature can be stressful. You can, however, be proactive in reducing this stress when you accept that such conversations are inevitable from time to time and that you can improve your skills in dealing with them by putting some of the above recommendations into practice. Let me also encourage you to never try to resolve a conflict through email. Demonstrate your desire to address the situation properly by picking up the phone and calling the other party. This lesson is intended for the type of issues that most of us have to face from time to time. If you are dealing with a serious situation, seek the help from a trained professional. How are you at handling difficult conversations? Please share your tips and insights in the comments section below this post. To be a competent communicator, you must strive for excellence to master the little things that go into effective communication.

Praise or Criticize? When and Where? Can you recall a time when you were reprimanded, criticized, or put down in front of someone else? If so, you know that its quite humiliating to be on the receiving end of public criticism.

Praise in public and criticize in private is a golden rule of business and social etiquette. Yet, this wise
communication advice often goes unheeded. Even though most of us agree with this rule on the surface, it isnt always easy to make sure were not the ones doing the public criticizing. Todays message is about how best to handle disputes, problems, and constructive feedback privately and why this benefits you. The Right Approach Lets first take a look at the best way to handle a situation where you find it necessary to confront someone or provide feedback. The decision between a public or private conversation should always be made with the receiver in mind. If what you have to say could be perceived by anyone listening as reflecting negatively on the other person, their work, or their reputation, your conversation should be private. The Right Time Next, decide when and where to deliver your message. For example, do the circumstances call for a formal meeting, or would a few minutes simply out of earshot from others accomplish it? Similarly, if the situation is complex, its not a good idea to plan your conversation right before a major meeting or as you and the other party is walking out the door. You want to make sure you have adequate time to discuss the subject without feeling rushed. The Follow-Up After you have provided any constructive feedback or sensitive communication, make a point to follow up with the person soon after to ensure that the relationship is intact. With little effort, youll be able to pick up if the other person is harboring ill feelings or has been hurt by your conversation. If they are colder than normal or avoiding you, the sooner you reach out to them, the better. Make a point of ensuring that your next interaction with the person is a positive one. Benefits to You Handling disputes and feedback privately shows respect for others and is the right thing to do. Here are three reasons to make the right choice the next time youre faced with deciding between a public or private conversation to deliver anything less than praise. 1. You will command greater respect. The days of using fear to command respect are long gone. When you show others that you are in control of your thoughts and emotions and are capable of rising above the norm, you stand out as someone worthy of respect. 2. You will be viewed as more likable. Do you prefer to be around people who are kind and thoughtful, or critical and fault-finding? Most people prefer the former! 3. You will benefit from a more positive reputation. How you speak to and about other individuals is a direct reflection on you. When the words others hear coming from you are positive, uplifting remarks, they associate those remarks with you. When you are judgmental, negative or sarcastic, they attribute those negative remarks to your personality. Because of this, I often go out of my way to make sure others hear my genuine praise of others when it is deserved. When you give praise in public, make sure it is deserved. Praising someone publically who is undeserving will almost certainly undermine your credibility with everyone else in the group.

When you deliver praise in public and criticize in private, others will respect you, and your influence as a person and leader will grow.

20 Tips for Positive Group Interactions Everyday we meet with groups of people socially and professionally. How we interact plays a large role in the impressions we create. Are we taken seriously or do people discount what we say? Does peoples respect for us grow or would they prefer not to be around us any more? Once again, you are in control. Following these tips will give you a leg up in your next group meeting or social event. 1. Dress consistently with how you want to be viewed-You may think that dressing for success is an overused phrase or your attire really doesnt matter. But IT DOES. Remember you are marketing a product and that product is YOU. 2. Arrive earlyBeing early is a stress reliever. Youll feel prepared and confident and when others arrive you can be the first to greet them. But socially, dont be too early or youll catch your host or hostess off guard and unprepared for your arrival. 3. Put your cell phone away or place in silent or vibrate modeGroup meetings of any kind should not be interrupted with your personal cell phone activity-calls, texts or emails. Its best to leave your phone in the car or place it in silent mode. If you absolutely must receive important information, put your phone on vibrate. 4. Greet everyoneMake sure to greet all members of the group with a warm smile, a firm handshake if appropriate, and repeat his or her name. 5. Be friendlyIf you arent naturally outgoing and friendly, then this is show time for you. Put on your game face and do all you can to make a good impression. Being friendly is HUGE! 6. Show an interest in othersAsk questions, pay someone a compliment or listen carefully to what is being discussed. 7. Introduce yourself Be proactive and introduce yourself to others in the group. Denny Cwieks insightful comment on this blog is right on point. Todd, something else I do when I run into someone I know Ive met before, whether I remember their name or not. I put my hand out and reintroduce myself just in case they dont remember my name. This lets them save face and immediately makes them more comfortable. Plus, if I dont remember their name, theres a good chance theyll remind me. 8. Introduce othersOnce again Denny hits the nail on the head. Also, if Im in a group where there is someone who probably does not know or remember the names of the other people in the group, I make it a point to use everyones name several times in the course of the conversation, again, to help that person save face and feel more comfortable. 9. Wait to be seatedIn a social setting ask the host or hostess where you should sit. You want to be respectful of how they would like the group seated. 10. Body postureSit up straight. Poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem. Leaning forward indicates interest. Crossed arms indicate disinterest or possibly anger. All of your body language sends signals to the group members.

11. Focus your attention on the person talkingMaintain eye contact with the person talking to demonstrate respect and interest in the conversation. This holds true even when the waiter arrives at your table to take a drink or dinner order. If you turn your attention to the waiter, you are indicating the waiter is more important than your dinner guest. 12. Dont discount anyones commentsDont dismiss an idea just because it originates from someone who has a different point of view. Remember everyone is different and the ability to think differently can spark creativity and innovation. Theres just no way you can improve yourself or grow your business if you only value your own ideas. 13. Think before you speakDont be too quick to jump into the conversation. Instead be a respectful listener and observer. When you do talk, carefully consider what you say. Wouldnt you rather keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and prove it. 14. Remember the two second rule- Dont interject or comment until the person has clearly finished speaking. A good rule of thumb is to wait two seconds. 15. Dont talk about yourselfResist the temptation to monopolize the conversation. Instead, show an interest in others by asking questions. Then listen attentively and continue the conversation accordingly. 16. Include everyone when talkingWhen you are the one talking, be sure to share eye contact with each person in the group. Each member will feel valued and included. 17. Dont change the conversationUnless theres a clear indicator that the conversation is finished, dont change the topic. You dont want people to feel you dont have an interest in whats being discussed or you think what you have to say is more important. 18. Dont start or participate in a side conversationNever start or participate in a side conversation even if the person talking is not making eye contact with you. Dont allow their mistake to prevent you from being a good listener. 19. Excusing yourselfDont get up to leave the table in the middle of a conversation. Wait until there is a pause or a shift in the conversation. Otherwise your actions could be interpreted as a lack of interest in the conversation and the person speaking may well take offense. 20. Say goodbye to each person individually Make sure to smile, shake hands or embrace and use each persons name when the conversation or event is concluded. Make a good last impression. Everything you do in a group setting makes an impression on everyone in the group. Dont ever think something doesnt matter. Everything matters.