1 There are many four-letter words in the world. I must have used like ten of them already.

Four-letter words are really powerful, in my opinion. Love, hate, all that stuff. The big emotions. Used every day, and meant only like a third of the time. So I avoid them, and go for the words that I can mean. Then there are MY four letter words. Shit, fuck, crap, damn the list goes on and on. You know what I mean; those words your mother told you never to use, but by seventh grade theyre ingrained in your everyday vocabulary. Its natural. Thats just the way things are for me. Im not going to say love. I love my family. All right. My girlfriends? No. I mean, sure, I liked them, and theyre hot and all, but love? Please. Give me a fucking break here, people. My name, if you dont already know, is Rafael. Rafael Montgomery. I would be surprised if you dont know it. I mean, like everyone who goes to my school knows me. Its an unwritten rule. Oh, you might not like me, but you do know me, right? Well. Actually, you probably do like me. Seriously. I mean, whats there not to like about me? Im smart (dont look at the grades, they dont do justice), athletic, nice (most of the time) and, well, not that Im vainbut Im really, really hot. Girls love me. Or, if not, they like me a lot. Only a matter of time before it becomes love. And youre probably like, well, theres got to be one girl that doesnt like youAn ex-girlfreind? An ignored fan? Anyone? Point her out, and Ill give you a hundred bucks. Notice youre not a hundred richer. Guys, theyre jealous, but they suck up just as much as the girls do. Whatever. But yeah, where was I? Oh yeah. So, because my grades were crappy (they seemed fine to me) my parents decided to ship me off to an all-boys school. Yup. Thats right. Straight out of a private co-ed, and off to a private non coed. Trust me, I nearly blew. I was so pissed. How could they do this to me? Was I so very unloved? That must be it. But my parents said no, they thought it would be an educational experience. And, they felt, I wasnt getting enough peer support to do well in school. Hah. So, even after threats of running away, becoming a druggie, going gay (empty threat, I know), and whatever else I could come up with, my parents

didnt change their minds. Not even after I gave them the ultimate reason to why I couldnt go. There were no girls. Yeah. Bet you didnt believe me. I certainly wouldnt. But it was true. Laughable, but true. Rafael Montgomery going to a school with no girls. Okay, maybe I shouldnt have done some nasty things. I did get into a bunch of fights recently. But that was only recent. So, they must have been punishing me for stuff I did when I was younger. Like that time I put my baby shark in my older sisters goldfish bowl (oh, man you should have seen it. It was awesome). Or put gum in her brush right before the Prom. It didnt do anything, because she caught it in time. Well, sort of in time. Her hair was a bit shorter than shed intended it to be. I mean, harmless. Or maybe that time I punched Michael Davidson in the face. He deserved it. Maybe even the time I put saran wrap over the teachers bathrooms. The janitor hated me after that. Even though no one could prove it was me. They never can, never will. See what I mean? Im not a bad kid or anything. Just normal. And normal people went to normal, co-ed schools. Have fun, my sister says gleefully. Too gleefully. I snap out of my thoughts and glare at her. Currently, Im at JFK airport, and my planes going off in like fifteen minutes. I take the plane to the middle of nowhere, where I then take a second plane even deeper to the middle of nowhere. Well, I looked through the school websites pictures. Its actually kinda nice. A small town nearby, with a couple of small houses, a huge mall for the students, with movie theaters, restaurants, a gym, and anything else people could think of putting up there for bored, rich students. My mom gives me a hug. I hug her back, and use the opportunity to flip my sister Danielle the finger behind Mums back. She only smirks even more. Shes like nine years older than me. Shed just gotten used to being the only child of a rich family, and then I came along and made her life H-E-L-L. Amen. Have fun, Raffie, my mother says, sounding a bit tearful, Please dont kill anyone and pass your classes. I scowl. Mum. Please. I wouldnt kill someone. I really wouldnt. I dont go around beating people up. Only if someone starts it first (I mean, if Im an-

noyed at someone, they can start it by glaring at me. But its still starting it in my book). And Ive never failed. But damn, did I come close a few times Dani snorts. The only reason you didnt fail your math class is because you had that young female teacher that you sucked up to. I smile radiantly at the memory. I didnt do anything, just flirted a tiny bit, and voila, I passed by like ten points. I think hats pretty damn good. I mean, most of the time, flirting results in passing by anywhere from one to five points. Ten is my all-time record. Ah. Right. But I passed, didnt I? Slut, Dani coughs under her breath. Bitch, I growl without disguising the word the slightest bit. I mean, she totally deserved it. Me? A slut? I am so not. Of course, who gets cuffed on the side of the head for insulting the sibling? Not Dani. The fact that shes twenty-six and Im seventeen might have something to do with it, but still. She started it The intercom goes static-y a bit, and then an announcement for my flight goes on. Five more minutes till boarding. Thats you, my mother announces. Your father sends his love. Okay, I say confidently, and give my mom one last peck on the cheek. Thanks for the new cell phone. Its all sleek and gorgeous. It was choosing between this and an iPod (my last one accidentally ended up in the toilet, Im blaming Dani) but I figured I could always use my CD player. Im not that big on music, anyway. But a cell phone is a must-have. Youre quite welcome, she says, beaming. Hey, Dani snapped, Why does HE get all the stuff? Because youre a grown woman, and you have your own job. Yeah, she works as a CEO of something. No idea. My sisters supposed to be really good with business stuff, so she managed to get a good job without having to rely on my parents influence or anything. Mums all proud of that. In other words, my sister is a nerd. Because Im sexier than you, I throw my two cents in.

Dani flips me the finger. And, of course, Mum doesnt see it. Oh, well. If Dad were here he would have, but hes off on a business trip in Mexico. Otherwise, he would have waved me off on the airport, too. (I think my mom bribed Dani.) Last chance for boarding, the intercom crackles out. Thats me! So. I get on the plane. They always make me a bit sleepy. So I lean back in the first class seat (first class kicks major ass, you get the prettiest flight attendants) and let myself just drift. I was really, really nice. Wasnt I? I thought so. And you know WHY I didnt give my mom the cold shoulder for destroying my whole entire life? Because, well, she didnt. Let me explain this to you. I am headed for Cooper High School for Boys. Which, alone, sucks. However, I read more into the website, and guess what I learned? Well, down the road a bit, not even a mile, was another Cooper High School. But, actually, the full name was Cooper High School for girls. Uh huh. Girls school right around the corner. Get it? Its awesome. So, I figured, its like renting an apartment with a bunch of guys, and spending your time checking out the chicks across the hall. Cool. Thats what makes it bearable. Nice, even. (Really, really great!) And then I fall asleep. 0o0o0o0o0o0 I get off the big plane, yawning, and head through the airport to a small terminal added on especially for Cooper students. Its a tiny plane, wouldnt hold more than a hundred people. Its not even filled, because actually, school kinda started yesterday. My parents just didnt get the registration in on time. So theres me, a couple younger guys I dont even bother talking to, a couple girls but eh. I look around, and I see the back of a girls head. The first thing I noticed was her hair. Thick, and a really gorgeous shade of brown. Its a lot darker than most brown hair, if you know what I mean. Its caught up in a messy ponytail, but the light still reflects on it, so it looks casual rather than hazardous. So I head over there and sit down nearby. Her heads down and shes reading a book. I glance at her back. Thin, but trim-

thin, not anorexic-thin. I hate anorexic girls. Theres nothing to hold onto, and when I kiss a girl Id rather be concentrating on pleasing her, not worrying that shell snap in half. I then look at her bag. From the bulges and sharp corners, the bad seems to be filled with them. Er a bookworm? Well. Okay. Lets see the face But shes not facing me, so I content myself with thinking about the wonders of the future that are looming over me. Yeah, I thought, this was going to be a life-altering experience. Have my own homeboys at home, and the girls, probably all desperate, right nearby, just waiting for me, Rafael, to save them. I laugh. Its an evil noise. I notice that at about the same time some girl notices, and her head tilts to the side before turning around to throw me a glance. Her gaze connects with mine. Shes got normal brown eyes, normal face. Nothing anywhere near as gorgeous as that hair. Shes normal. Bo-Ring. Oh, well. So itll be a monotonous half hour fight. Ive gone through worse. Like, taking Tricia Rhineheart to the movie theaters to watch The Return of the King. She chatted all through the movie, so I had to end up making out with her the whole time just to shut her up. Which was annoying, because I kind of wanted to see the movie. Also that movie was over three hours long. I had to keep her occupied the whole time. And she wasnt even that good of a kisser! (I dumped her like an hour later.) But she gives me this weird look, so I decide to say something. Dont want her to get the wrong impression of me Hey, babe, I say, and I wink at her. Okay, I know for a fact that its a really sexy look on my face right now. My girlfriends all told me so. Im only being modest here But apparently shes blind. But shed reading a book, so she cant be blind. Maybe shes lesbian. Because she just looks at me with this contemptuous look on her face. Like, ugh, nerd. Excuse me, Im not a nerd. I know Im not. I do lots of push-ups and crunches every night to make sure. Well, okay. Thats a lie. I have really good metabolism, and a naturally great body, so just a good work out once a

week keeps me top line. I have the whole blond hair and intense blue-eyes surfer-dude look going, and I pull it off really good, if I must say so myself. I narrow my eyes. Whats your problem? I ask in a pissed-off voice. She kind of harrumphs like it should be obvious. See? Told you shes a lesbo. Not that I have anything against them. Theyre cool. My best friend goes like that. But this girl's like a freaking ice block, because Im waiting for her to laugh and be like, Just kidding, and be all sweet, but she doesnt. So not the flight isnt only tedious, but its awkward and Im sulking slightly. Cut me some slack. Traveling takes all my energy. At the end of the flight, I (grumpily) get off. Shes faster, and snatches a small bag from where the baggage is held and all but runs off the plane. Arent girls supposed to have a million bags of clothes? Maybe its all at that moving strip where you wait for hours for your luggage only to find out its been accidentally shipped to Cambodia or something. But shes nowhere as I head out the airport to a rather pleasant town, and follow the signs to the school building, which actually isnt in the town, but a five or so minute walk out of it. Not that I looked for her or anything, you know. Just, I didnt see her. But, whatever. Hopefully, she wouldnt be going to that all-girls school. And even if she waswho cares. Its a big ocean to fish in, and from what I heard, the populations like a thousand. Yup. You heard me. A thousand. I checked. Which means that no matter how many nerdy girls like that go there (I mean, why else would she be here? Theres like nothing else in this hick place) I used my awesome math skills to figure out there was a 100 possibility that there was at least like a hundred hot girls that would totally die to go out with me. And to think that Im already a senior, damn it. Maybe I should fail a few times, get held back a year to take full advantage of my situation. Wouldnt want to disappoint any girls, now would I? Not that I would. Theres enough of Rafael Montgomery to go around more than once. As I walked to get my luggage, my mood was really, really good; a helluva lot better than it had been on the plane. The girl over in the corner was checking me out and her mouth had fallen open, the sky (from what I could see through the windows) was blue, and life was beautiful. What could possibly go wrong? 2

Okay, my current four letter word isnt really four letters. Its not even an official word. But Im sure you all know what it means. WTF. Okay. Its hot, Im actually sweating, and the old lady here with the ancient computer isnt doing much to improve my mood. I mean, havent they heard of air conditioning? Its a cool September, but its still kinda summery occasionally. You would think a school that makes so much money a year would be able to afford an air conditioner. Or even a fan. I mean, cant you buy them at the Salvation Army for like fifteen bucks? Apparently not. And this secretary here. Dont get me started on her. Eh, you just did. Shes like a raisin. Tiny, wrinkled, dry, and utterly brainless. Screw the air conditioning. How about funneling money into a better secretary? Because, if shes efficient, then we wont notice the heat because well be in and out of there too fast to notice that parts of our bodies are melting away like the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Quickly and irrevocably. Whats your name again? She asked. For like the fourth time, I have to say. No wait, make that the fifth. Forgot about that one time about forty seconds ago I swear, if she asks me one more time Ill grab a pen and write it on her ass. Well, okay. Maybe I wont write it on her ass. Because that means Ill have to see itpass. Thats just sickening. Last name, Montgomery. M O N T G O M E R Y. I pause here while she slowly jabs at the keyboard. Finally, she hits the Y key. Thank God. First name, Rafael. R A F A E L. She taps away like fifty times my first name only has six letters, you old bag and she kinda looks at me with this part blank, part puzzled expression on her face. Whats your name again? Oh, my God. Someone call the police because I swear Im going to succumb to my evil side and drop the computer on her head. Even though the thing will probably collapse if I touch it. I swear, the two of them must have been like the first secretary and computer ever. I can totally see her typing away while a dinosaur walks past. Well, okay, I can see her drawing on cave walls. Computers didnt come until later. See? I know that stuff. Why did I almost fail History? That was a joke. Note the sarcasm. Is there something wrong here? I say while gritting my teeth so hard I can practically feel them turning to powder. Bad thing to do. I actually had to have braces for a month that was Hell. I had to tell all my friends I was going to Europe over the summer so I couldnt see them, aka they couldnt see me. But it turned out all right. I went to my country house in Upstate New York and met this really hot girl who totally believed me when I told her I had braces because I messed up my teeth when I saved some person from

getting hit by a car. Yeah I know, not really original, but hey, a guy gotta do what a guy gotta do. I swear, that girl had one of the most inventive tongues Ive ever come across. Worth getting hit by a car for. Im afraid your name isnt showing up on the registry. Say what? Oh, whatever. Minor mistake. She probably like misspelled my name (shes obviously dumb enough). Thats cool, I say. Ill just like check it out with the top guy here. I had noticed the sign earlier, but I figured, the head deans got a secretary, why bother him? Oh yeah, loser secretary. So I completely ignore her attempts to call me back (Young man, dont go there, young man young man? Uh huh, yeah, thats right, Im ignoring you) and I open the door to reveal... Great. Another old bag. But this ones a guy, and hes talking on the phone. When he sees me, he tries to look all angry, by scrunching up his face like hes sucking on a lemon. (Which actually tastes okay. I used to do it when I was a kid). But all he manages to do is get this really constipated look on his face. Oh yeah, Im quaking in my boots here. Not. He hangs up after making me wait a minute or two, and he goes like, What do you want? But in a polite tone. My parents are paying big bucks to get me to spend my senior year at this school, due to the fact they think I will suddenly reform and get into a good college. Its not smart to piss off people that give you money. Part of the reason I actually went along with my parents here. And, of course, the girls school perk. Most definitely that perk. I can just see it now May I help you, young man? He repeats, interrupting the pleasant course my mind had taken. Yeah, I say. Finally, someone who seems efficient. Your secretary says Im not on the enrollment list. He sighed, like its all my fault hes going through this. Name, please. Montgomery, Rafael. Montgomery is spelled M O N T G O M E R Y, and then R A F A E L. My names being worn out here. Dont make me say it again, because Ill break something. He types quickly on this nice computer thats a lot more efficient than the bag out there. Hey should really give her a new computer. Excuse me, could you please spell your last name again? Oh my freaking God. I walk around the desk and type it for him in the form on the screen that says, Last Name. He looks startled. His problem. I type in my first name as well, and hit Enter. After a moment, theres a beeping noise and on the screen theres a little message that says, No match. Hah! No match my pretty ass.

Im afraid your parents must have made a mistake, he says, his forehead all furrowed as we both contemplate the little box of text with different degrees of annoyance. Mine being the highest, of course. There isnt much air conditioning in here, either. Theres no other explanation. Im afraid so, too, but I dont say that. No one insults my parents but me. Instead I say, Perhaps theres some sort of technological glitch. See? It sounds like I know what Im talking about when what I really mean is, You fucked up. Deal. He puffs up, offended. Our computer system does not have computer glitches. Unlike human beings, they do not make mistakes! Oh. Jeez. Well then. My bad. But I just had to open my mouth one last time So what do you think happen? He gets this annoyed expression on his face, like hes about to say, I dont care, but then he gets this pensive look on his face. Hmmm. Well, a few people have made this mistake in the past, perhaps He trails off, picks up the phone again, and quickly dials a number. Hello? Ms. Healthgot? Yes, this is Jonathan Gray. I have a young man whose parents were supposed to have enrolled him last minute... I was wondering... yes. Yes, thats it. His name is Montgomery, Rafael." He spelled it correctly. Thankfully. "Yes, is it? Oh, dear. No, I don't. Do you? Yes, I know, I know, but we cannot leave the poor boy out on the streets..." Say what? Me, on the streets? They wouldn't dare... (Of course they wouldnt.) " . . . Oh, thank the Lord. I'm quite sure he won't mind too much. Yes; yes of course. You too. Bye." He hangs up the phone and looks at me with a particularly sympathetic gaze. Oh gosh, what happened? Did my parent's credit card max out or something? Not possible. Theyre really good with money and, on top of that, theyve got like twenty more. Even before he opens his mouth, I have a feeling its going to be a lot bigger than that. Sure enough Mr. Gray sighed. Again. It was like he was about to tell me that I had gotten the death penalty or something. Whatever it was, I really hoped he would just spit it out. I think my left leg just melted a bit. As he seemed to struggle with a way to tell me what was wrong, I decided to take pity. If you just told me what was wrong, maybe well fix it up and I can get out of here. He looked offended. What did I do wrong? Jeez. Trying to help you, idiot. Cause you need it. Look here, young man, this a very prestigious school. What is the name of this school? I hadnt even unpacked and I was already being tested. What was this school going to be like? I mean, the website talked all this shit about academic achievement, but what school doesnt? God help me if this school was actually for real. Ah Cooper High School. Right?

Hey, Id gotten it right. Mr. Gray was nodding. Do you know the name of the girls boarding school? I was a lot faster this time. Same thing, but for girls. Of course I knew that. Why was he testing me on such an obvious thing? Of course I knew that; I would be an idiot if I didnt. Well, Mr. Montgomery. This has happened before, and it has always been rectified. Im afraid that, due to this utterly annoying nature of the two schools having the same name, you have been accidentally enrolled into the girls school. Holy shit. Ah, so where do I go to school? We always had an extra room here, just in case because this has happened before but another young man enrolled here last minute, so we have nowhere to put you. He looks really pained. What, they cant stick me up in the hotel, can they? Because thats just wrong. That little bastard, I thought furiously. Just wait till I got my hands on that last minute guy You can start calling him pulp right now. But then I realized what else that meant. Oh shit. Im going to be abandoned on the streets. I was going to starve to death unless my genius saved me So why dont I just go to the girls school? Oh please oh please God if youre listening Well, it is an all girls school, he points out severely. Before I had a chance to protest, he said, But as it IS our fault we did not thoroughly check your registration form, we will have to put you up in a room. Ms. Healthgot has a solution she said would work quite well. Oh, I just bet she does. I withhold the evil grin. Drama classes for four years, if you wanted to know. Im sure you did. Im just one of those fascinating people that you want to learn so much about. What can I say? Its been hard, but I think Ive adjusted well to a life in the spotlight. But back to the balding guy. He just said that the lady was going to come pick me up, and that I should go wait outside quietly. I was halfway out, dragging my small amount of luggage behind me, when I was reminded of my other luggage. I have some boxes of clothing I was having shipped here, I said. Id done it myself. Didnt trust my parents not to send it off to Montana or something. After this whole thing, you really cant say Im overly cautious with my stuff. Ill forward it to the school, he promises. But an all girls school? I nearly yell with happiness. My parents wanted to change my life? Well, I think they finally did, bless their vague little minds. Well, now Im sitting outside in the hallway. The secretary gave me some cookies to eat. I think she totally forgot that I might have been a tiny bit rude to her. She must have dementia or something. Go figure. So I have like twenty minutes to reflect on life. Not something I do a lot, but when such fortune comes this way, like, I got to appreciate it. Or maybe Ill save the appreciation for latter.

Another evil laugh. At least no one heard me this time. That made me thinks of that tall girl in the plane, the plain one with the great hair. But, as I said, boring, so I switch to another train of thought. So. Hmmm. Where to start. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Expect me to complain? Keep waiting. Youll die before I do. So where was I? Oh, yes, the silver spoon. My parents didnt abandon me. Dont expect a sob story here, because I got nothing to cry about. Yeah, theyre a bit messed up sometimes (like, now would be a good example) but they absolutely adore me, and I guess I love them too. Dont spread it around, okay? Doesnt go that well with the image. Anyway, so I did well in preschool, did fine in elementary, went down in junior high and am barely scraping past high school. Thats why Im here. Okay. Thinking time is over. Theres a nice motherly woman headed towards me. I know shes here for me because shes looking right at me. Shes got light blond hair that sort of hides the gray, and a body thats starting to gain the weight. This is one of those people that bake cookies for the next door neighbors kids. I had one of those once. Most amazing gingerbread cookies ever. So she comes up to me (I get up from where Id been sitting against the wall) and holds out her hand. I quickly check that all cookie crumbs are gone and I shake the offered hand. Angelic face, check! I have a shrewd feeling if I act like the irrepressible chick magnet I really am, she wont let me near the girls school. And that wont do. Hi, maam, Im Rafael Montgomery, I say charmingly. I am so sorry for this mix up. Big, captivating smile right on cue. Aim, fire, and a melted feminine puddle is now at my feet. She gives me this really sweet smile. She totally has a boyfriend, I can tell. Sweet older women usually do. Oh, no, you poor child I try to look all sad and soppy, but I dont think it worked This must be a horrible ordeal. You must be exhausted after that plane flight. Come to think of it, I am. Ill bring you over to the school, she says, and off we go, back down the stairs, and out the front door, earning me some odd looks from whatever guys were loitering around. Not that I care. We walk out into the nice weather, and I realize that she walked here. I sigh mentally and prepare to carry my on flight suitcase for a long time. But it was barely fifteen minutes during which she told me a bit about the school and that she hoped everything would work out before a new building appeared on this country lane. Did I mention it was in the middle of nowhere? Yeah. Fields all over the place, and a nice looking river that snaked past the school. I wondered idly if the girls ever went skinny dipping.

She leads me over a bridge going over that river (now that I look at it, its more like a large stream). A two minute walk further and weve reached the Girls building, a tall, impressive structure. We have most of the classes in here, Ms. Healthgot said, And quite a few seniors as well. Everything else is in there, and she waves her hand to the cluster of smaller buildings behind the main ones. Im surprised I didnt notice it when I was headed towards the boys school. I mean, unlike the guys school, the girls school isnt located in the small town, but still, its probably visible. I walk up the steps and into the building. There were a few girls strolling in the hallways, all of which stared at me like I had three heads. Well, I did have two balls. Maybe thats it. They were pretty hot, too. Amen, I add silently. Her office is on the second floor. She leads me past a curious secretary (whos like a billion years younger than Mr. Grays) and tells me to sit down. She tells the secretary, Please get Ms. Davidson here immediately. The secretary exits immediately. Ms. Healthgot turns and faces me. She lowers herself into her chair. All right. Let me get a few things straight here. You are in an all girls school, and I need you to follow some extra rules. Hey! What happened to the puddle of female? As you strike me as the type of person who will disregard any type of rules I set for you she arches a look at my hurt face Yes, I know your type. Im with one of them Ho! I was so right. Told ya. I will give a few mandatory rules that, if you break, will result in you going home immediately. Okay, I say warily. First, she said, holding up a finger. You will respect my girls. Of course, I say, shocked. Secondly, there will be no visiting rooms after eleven Oclock, nor coming in if you go to hang out at the boys school. I would make it ten, but since you have no male friends, I suspect you will make many female ones. Which leads me to the last and most essential rule. I think I know what was coming. There will be no sexual relationships at all. Well, fuck me. Wait, not possible now. But, I guess it could have been a lot worse. At least she understands how I feel. Because, in my mind, sexual relationships have sex in them. So that means I can still date. I bet dry sex doesnt count, either. Or maybe As we also have no rooms available, you will be sharing with a student that I trust. Ms. Davidson. Ah, here she is, and I turn around and feel my mouth fall open. Ms. Davidson was Ms. Boring. From the plane.

God? Did you tune me out? Because this is going wrong over here Ah, Ms. Davidson, this is Mr. Montgomery. Im afraid that there has been a severe mistake again with the school names, and he needs to stay here. Her brown eyes widen. Her mouth does too, like she was about to give a list of one hundred reasons why this shouldnt be happening. Before she could say anything, Ms. Healthgot says really fast, Yes, I know hes a boy. But its an emergency, and I trust you to share a room with him. It will count as a lot of service credit, she adds, and Ms. Davidson stops any protest she would have made. Nerd alert. Very well, she says in this surprisingly nice voice, a lot deeper and huskier than I would have thought. A bedroom voice, or a voice of a singer. Not that I notice. Im just saying. She flicks a glance at me. If you follow me, Ill show you to the room. So I get up, shake Ms. Healthgots hand, and follow her. Up three flights of stairs. Yeah, God had forgotten me already. I was a bit out of breath by the time I reach the top. The skinny girl wasnt even breathing hard. She walks up the corridor, filled with girls who were staring at me, and she opens a room all the way at the end of the hall. I follow her in, and she shuts the door behind us. Its a nice room. Blue fabrics, two beds on opposite ends of the room, two desks with a lot of shelves. One bathroom, and two closets. Her side is a bit messy, but its like a neat messy. An organized, Im not perfect but I know where my stuff usually is, messy. Im messy messy. As in, put something on the ground, and it may surface in the next earthquake. So, she looks at me, and says, Is there anything you need? Yeah, a heater if youre gonna be like that. But because Im a nice guy, I dont say that (although it was really, really tempting). Instead, I say, Whats your name? I didnt catch it. Its because I didnt throw it, she says snippily, and walks out the room, closing it quietly behind her. The fact that she didnt slam it told me she wasnt angry or pissed; she just didnt care. Thats the hardest thing to change, I knew from experience. It had actually taken me like a month before I finally got that girl to go out with me. A month. At least she had been worth it. Wed gone out for like three whole months. Not bad But now I see why Ms. Healthgot trusts her not to throw herself at me with unbridled lust; I kind of trust her not to myself. What a humbling thought. 3

Were in the movie theater, but I cant tell you what movie it is, cause Im too busy paying attention to the hottie next to me. I cant see her face in the dark movie theater, but what I CAN see is mad sexy. My arms around her, she tilts her face up at me, and I start to lean forward. Our breaths mingle. Right before our lips meet Crash! I was woken up by a loud noise. I moan and roll over. Crash! Whatthehell? I garble out, and jerk upwards when crash, crash, crash resounds through my brain. I open my eyes finally, to realize that the delightful Ms. Davison has been banging the bathroom door open and closed to wake me up. Let me get one thing straight I am a bit of a morning person, dont hate me but, like, come on. I bet if you were woken up like that, you wouldnt be particularly cheerful. But I was. You wanna know why? It was because I just realized that I, Rafael Montgomery, was at an all girls school. I feel a grin spread. Oh man, new day, bring it on My happy thought was interrupted when that nice voice totally wasted on her, if you ask me said in a tone that would have sent a normal guys balls south, Assuming youre staying, it is my duty to inform you that you have already missed the first day of school. You will miss the second if you do not get out of bed and get your schedule from Ms. Healthgot. Because Im superior to your average guy, I was completely unfazed by her and the chill in the room. Even when she walks out and totally abandons me while Im still all warm and cute and cuddly in bed. After the door swung shut, I got up lazily and started to prepare for the Big Day Ahead. I had randomly picked out a pair of jeans and a shirt. Nice thing about being really, really hot it doesnt matter what you wear, cause you make the clothes, not the other way around, and I brought them with me into the bathroom. Well, I took a while to get showered. Normally, I dont waste time on them, but I figured if I ever wanted to take my time. So I kinda look through the bathroom. A way to learn stuff about a girl is to go through her stuff. Calm down. No one caught me or anything. I would have heard them coming. I can be mad stealthy when I gotta be. But thanks for being concerned about me.

So, what I can tell from hmmm, still dont know her name her is that shes practical but still enjoys to pretty herself up a bit once in a while. She has one shampoo, one conditioner, two razors, and some facial thing. Dunno. Minimum make up that doesnt seem to be used a lot, a bit of mascara, that awesome lip gloss stuff that makes a girls lips all sexy (unless they overdo the pink stuff or have some god awful flavor), a pair of tweezers, and random powders. I think theyre for the eyes. You know, those pretty colors they put on their eyelids. No eyeliner pencil, no curlers. Nada. Zip. Helemaal niets. Okay. She cares a bit about appearance, but not overtly so. That type of girls a breath of fresh air, but people, I love urban areas. So you have your type of girl, Ill keep to my type. High maintenance, high standards, high everything. Works for me. After rummaging through her little bag of makeup (normal bag, nothing frivolously decorated) I take the shower. Before using my own shampoo, I can smell a faint scent of shampoo. Its probably her Pantene shampoo. I had a girlfriend once who used that stuff, and her hair was freaking gorgeous. All soft, and it had this amazing smell cause she also used that Herbal Essence stuff. My mum uses it too. Soon I override it with the scent of my own shampoo. Gotta look good on my first day. I grin and let that hot water hit me full blast in the face. I love the feel of water running over my body; it makes me feel all squeaky clean. Its also why I love swimming. Then I practically bound out of the shower, grabbing a towel as I go. Dont worry; its my own towel. Put it there last night when I was unpacking. I slap on a bit of cologne and pull on my clothes. Old jeans, shirt that makes the electric blue of my eyes even more pronounced (no, I do not have watery blue eyesew). Rake a brush through my hair and towel it roughly dry so I have the whole just tumbled out of bed oh thanks you think I look sexy? look. But it still is smooth and not all tangled. Only really, really good hair can pull it off. Like mine. Ive perfected that particular look, by the way. Its a total natural for me. So, I grab a bag that has my cell phone, a notebook, and a few loose pens and pencils. There are, of course, a few sticks of gum, and I pop one in my mouth as I walk out the room. I close the door but, as there doesnt seem to be a lock, I leave it like that. Im just starting down the hallway when a bell rings and oh, my God! like a million girls just pour out all around me.

If it werent for the fact that some girl just stepped on my foot and it hurt like hell, I would have thought I had just had a heart attack or something and Id gone to Heaven. Ah, well, who needs Heaven when there are all girls schools on earth? I walk back down the three flights of stairs I would say that everyone parted for me, but I, ah, often was brushed up against. Those poor, deprived girls So I manage to make it to Ms. Healthgots office in one piece. Everyones staring at me, looks ranging from suspicion to shock to outright delight. If I know girls, and I do, everyone will know exactly what Im doing here by the time I leave the office. So I walk in, use Drama Lesson number thirty four to keep that little satisfied smile of mine off my face. Hard work, I tell you. So I walk past the secretary who waves me past and Ms. Healthgot herself opens the door. Good morning, Mr. Montgomery. I hope you slept well. Never better, I lie. Well, not that it was bad it was a pretty deep sleep, let me tell you but the way I got woken up well, it could have been a bit more subtle. Like, I dont know, a back massage. So, Ms. Davidson suggested that I pick up my schedule, I say with a casual hand motion. She laughed. Ms. Davidson? Why dont you just call her Jessica? Bingo. I suppose I will, I say nonchalantly. Jessica. Hmmm. She doesnt look like one. But whatever. I take the piece of paper she gives me. I look at it. Pre Calc, Physics, all that crap. If youre wondering, I actually never failed a class in my life. I just had someclose calls. Ms. Healthgot says that she hopes I have a good first day, but she has this knowing glint in her eyes that tells me that she totally knows I will, and I know it too. I give her a small, friendly smile and walk sedately out the room, pocketing the note the secretary gives me that will explain my presence in this school. The secretary also calls after me to come back here so that I can choose my electives. Once Im out there, I realize that the halls are pretty empty. Everyone had already gotten to her next class. Except for a few stragglers and small knots of giggling girls over on the other side of the hallway, bunched around the open door. Their mouths fall open when they see me. Oh man, I could get used to this I doubt theyre going to be going to class soon. At least not until Im out of sight. I tend to have that effect on girls. I would say dont hate me because of that but I mean like come on; you cant hate me. We all

know that. As I walk past, I hear a girl whisper, I heard thats Rafael Montgomery and hes staying here. Told you it would be all over by the time I left the office. So I wander through the hallway; I am in no hurry to get to my class. We all read Cinderella; she was so freaking popular because not only was she really hot, but, because she made one helluva entrance. So when I reach my classroom, I listen to the monotonous drone of the teacher. And when the voice has gone on for about two minutes, and I can practically hear peoples prayers that something interesting happens, I don my shining armor (aka my super sexy smile), push open the door, and step inside. The result is instantaneous. Theres this stunned pause as everyone turns to look at me, and this cute little redhead breaths out, Oh, my God There is a God And the whole class bursts into hyper chatter. The old lady whos teaching the class Physics, by the way, looks totally confused. I make my way to the front of the class so that I can show her the note, of COURSE not so people can see my excellent butt and I give it to her. She reads it and makes a small, confused sound. Then she turns to the class. Well, there has been a small mistake in the registry, ladies, and Im afraid that Mr. Montgomery will be staying with us for a while. Sensing the class is about to flip out again, she says quickly, Why dont you tell us about yourself, Mr. Montgomery. Sure, I say, widening my smile. Two girls sigh wistfully. Wait, no, three. Well, as Im sure you noticed, Im a guy. There are a few titters. Hope that none of you will be offended (Of course you wont be. Im just being polite) and yeah. My name is Rafael Montgomery, I was supposed to go to the guys school, but as you can see, Im not. More titters. It wasnt a particularly brilliant speech, but theyre totally in the palm of my hand, so why waste more energy? That same cute redhead I made a mental note to get to know her better says really flirtatiously, Something this good always has a catch. She gives me this coy little smile and says, Do you have a girlfriend? Im about to say no when this voice right near me says acidly, Either a legion of them or a boyfriend. Judging by how quiet it was said, I think it was supposed to be under her breath. But, then again, I have really good ears. The better to hear you with, my dear (also the better to hear the front door opening when the parents come home, expecting to see the girl and me studying, not getting into major liplock on the sofa).

But, I cant have someone spreading rumors about me being like that around. Because one, I DO respect girls. I dont cheat. I may break hearts, but I dont cheat. If I want to cheat, that usually means that its time to move on to the next person. And two, not that I have anything against gay people Ive got quite a few friends like that but IM NOT. End of story. So I say, Actually, Im single and not gay. I make eye contact with her as her head jerks up in surprise, and I think my eyes widen as much as hers did. Its my roommate. The oh so delightful Ms. Jessica Davidson. Okay. I know I just told you that I respect girls, but there are some times that I may just bend the rule a TINY, TINY bit. Like now. She gives me this little disbelieving huff of air and goes back to doodling on her binder page. Now, I cant let her get away with that. But how to get revenge? Please take a seat, Mr. Montgomery, so the lesson can begin, The old lady said. I look at my schedule. Ms. Conje. Sure, Ms. Conje, I say. I glance at the seat next to the redhead; its taken. She notices the direction of my gaze and shoots a glare at the girl next to her, a quiet, pretty little blond thing. So that leaves me to sit next to Jessica. I slide in next to her in the empty seat, and I make sure my arm brushes against hers really gently. She doesnt tense up, doesnt even jerk away. I scowl slightly, glance over at her. She was suppose to react! Instead, her eyes are glued to the chalkboard and is religiously writing down everything that Ms. Conje writes. I glance at her arm, and feel a smile curve my lips when I see the goosebumps. o0o0o0o0o0o All my classes are pretty much the same. Stare, gasp, deny homosexuality, then (unlike in Physics) sit next to either the hottest chick in the room or one that seems to have a lot of hot friends. I see Jessica occasionally in the hallways, hurrying to her classes, but neither of us says anything. I never dug plain girls that cared only for grades and stuff like that. Shes probably like on the math debate team. Or whatever you call it. She says hi to no one. Me; Im surrounded by an adoring fan club. And its only the first day. Is that great, or is that great? When I extract myself, I say goodbye to my favorites. Theres Marie, the redhead, and Eva, a blonde. Theres this one chick with gorgeous chestnut curls, but Ill be damned if I can remember her name. Heres a black haired

green eyed girl my absolute favorite coloring but I think shes lesbian. Oh well. I look at my schedule. Gym. I ask a girl next to me where it is, and she laughs. Weve got an indoor and some fields outside for soccer, volleyball, and softball. But because its still warm, go outside. So I go outside. Its a beautiful day. I look around, but I dont see anything. Then I see that dark haired girl. I wave, and she comes over. Wheres gym? I say. Oh, she says in delight. Then youre in my class. Were doing volleyball, she adds as she starts walking and she motions for me to follow her. I grin. Let me explain. I love sports. I love the exercise, the intensity, everything. Ive played soccer, dabbled in football and basketball, taken self defense for four years (and yes I remember everything) participated and won swimming events, surfed, done baseball, and fell in love with volleyball. Yeah, I know, its not the most glamorous sport, but its so liberating. All that smacking the ball and diving for it. Especially beach volleyball. And my God, those little tight shorts and bikinis girls wear when they play? The best. The absolute best. But all I say is, I love volleyball. She says, Oh, dear, where are you going to change? Then she shrugs and says, I guess youll be allowed to join the guys sports team. Its close enough. Like a fifteen minute walk. Oh, yeah. Hmmm. Maybe Ill just help coach some girls team. Like, as in, be the manager. Well, then, I would have to do girls swimming. Obvious reasons. Im pulled from my daydream when the gym teacher demands an explanation, because she wont let me in the class with the girls. It takes me five minutes for me to convince her to let me help with the girls volleyball team. Yeah, sorry, no swim team. Theres still that small river I mentioned and the black haired chick her names Anne says that yes, they do go skinny dipping there sometimes. Whoo hoo! o0o0o0o0o0o Dear Diary, Wow. What a crappy way to start a diary. Dear is so overused; you can practically see the holes worn into it. Ditto for Diary. Ill try to be more

original next time. But, its just traditional, and since my life is anything but traditional, Id like to have SOME normalcy. Even if it means being super boring sometimes. I can live with super boring. Well, okay, got that out my system. My name is Jessica Mary Davidson. I hate my name. I hate my first name because its just not me. I hate my middle name because its my moms name, and I hate her. And I hate my last name because you guessed it its my dads last name, and I hate him too. I mean, hes not even my real dad, just the richest guy my mom could marry after my real dad died. So what he adopted me? Do I sound bitter? Well, I am. I think that going to this school was the best thing I could have ever done. And you know what? Im proud. Its an excellent school, and I got in on a full scholarship. Right after, Mom hooked Richard, my dear stepfather (I refuse to call him anything more), and he wanted to pay for my education. It was a highlight of my life to tell him I didnt need him OR his money. So Im at a great school, my family (including my a hole of a step brother) is a million miles away, I have loads of friends who dont care that I dont have designer label clothes (except for that bitch Marie. The only thing thats bad is Rafael Montgomery. There was a mess up with his application so he has to stay here. And since Im the only levelheaded, non horny girl in this school (as well as the only one that doesnt share a room) I get stuck with him. Hes awful. I might as well be honest. Hes the most freaking gorgeous guy Ive ever laid eyes on, but he knows it. Hes got every girl eating out of the palm of his hand. The way the girls, especially Marie, just fawn over himits enough to turn anyones stomach. I mean, Marie turns my stomach no matter what, but still. I first met him on the plane here. He was a total jerk, and acted like it was a law that every girl should fall head over heals the second he turns those blue eyes of his on someone. I figured he was going to the all guys school, and then the next thing I know, Im called to the principals office and guess who my new roomie is? Uh huh. He was in my Physics class, and the first thing he does is hit on me. At least, I think he was. I cant tell with him. But I switched into AP, so its okay. Hes still in my history class, but otherwise Ive avoided him by hanging out at other peoples rooms, especially Anne and Evas. I got the extra credit papers for this semester and Ive been trying to get them all done in the first

week. It makes me sleep deprived but it gets them all out the way till next semester. But Ive finished the interesting ones, I was bored, and I missed my room. I like privacy. And its hard to get when theres a six foot something crossover of an Adonis and Narcissus in the same room as me. Rafael Montgomery. Why is that name familiar? Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Well, what can I say? The first three days were totally awesome. And I really didnt do much, come to think of it. All I did was justbe me. I seemed to be doing really good in my classes. I did my homework. Well, okay, maybe a few times someone did it for me, but same difference. It had my name on it and I got the credit. So it was mine. I had no gym, and my electives were modern art as well as a lit class that was all about Shakespeare. Hes pretty cool for a dead guy, and our teachers pretty young, so shes more nice and fun. And susceptible to my incredible charm. Dinner is wonderful. We eat in the same place where breakfast and lunch is served. And because I want to get to know everyone, I sit at a different table ever day. Theres about a hundred tables, so I can be as picky as I want. I havent seen much of Jessica. I know she sleeps in her bed I checked once and the pillow was still warm but she always manages to wake up earlier than me and goes to bed later than me. And I have some pretty late hours where I just talk on my cell phone with old friends. By the way, they are totally jealous of me. Well, of course. Sometimes Im even jealous of myself. So, my life was a nice little cycle. Wake up alone I use my alarm clock now go to classes, pretend to take notes while students and teachers totally dote on me. Jessica was transferred into Physics Honors, so I dont have to sit with her, and even though shes in my Government class, we sit on opposite ends of the room. It took a bit of fun out of the class, but whatever. That redhead, Marie, is completely into me. Im thinking about asking her out in a week or two. Then, classes are over, I go splatter paint on a canvas while the teacher gushes about my brilliance, and read Shakespeare and make depressing observations while the teacher laps it up. o0o0o0o0o0o

Hola, Someone gag me. Seriously. Any day now, I expect too look out the window and see a bronzed statue of Montgomery out there with his trademark grin. I hope they dont, because then I would have to yank it down all by myself. I think Im the only person around here that hasnt put a collar around my neck and handed him the leash. He has a freaking escort between classes. I dont think he even realizes it. Obviously, he hangs out with the more popular people, but, I gotta say, he does spend time with every girl. I dont know how he finds the time. Every day hes with a new group of girls. Freshman, seniors, ugly, pretty, loud, shy, it doesnt matter. The good thing about that? I can hang out with Eva and Anne and all my other friends and hes too busy around other people to notice me. I think he believes Im the little nerd in the corner. Fine by me. My whole schedules messed up, damn it. Now I have to take showers during my free period. Thats usually when I do work so Im free in the evenings. I hate it when people infringe on my routines. Theres a reason they exist; Im happiest with them. Gotta go. Am going to the movies with Chrissie. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o The first weekend passes by ridiculously fast, and Im afraid I spent it doing nothing but unpacking all the clothes and stuff that Id sent to myself. Didnt have fun theres more than enough time for that later. Well, of course, I hung out with people, but thats a given. I walk into my bedroom the next day, a bit pissed because I have a Government test tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Hello, its, like, the fourth day of school, and I missed the first two classes because I was absent then because I had to get my schedule (and because I overslept, but whatever). And, like, guess what? Shes there. Yeah. Shes actually in her room. Its freaking Monday and its the first time Ive actually seen her in here after shed shown me where our room was. Well, not first time, I mean, she sleep here, but shes like a shadow.

Hi, I say. I was about to tack on an automatic babe at the end of the sentence, but I remember how she took that on the plane and decided not to. What are you doing here? I think its a perfectly fair question, because, like, Ive seen her in this room, like, what? Twice, maybe? But she takes it the wrong way. Dunno why. This is my room, too, she says coolly. If anyone should be asking that question, it should be me. I look at her warily. Shes sitting cross legged in bed, a laptop perched on her legs. Shes wearing Winnie The Pooh pajamas, and I laugh. Nice PJs, I say. She glares at me. What, do all your girlfriends buy theirs at Victorias Secret? Okay, usually I have more patience, but she just, I dont know, rubs me the wrong way. So I give her a little sneer and say, My girlfriends dont wear anything when were near a bed. Well, then. Her mouth makes a small o of shock before she snaps it shut again. Dont talk to me, she mutters. Her cheeks are a bit flushed. Since she didnt say anything about not looking at her, I abandon any thoughts of studying for the history test and I lie on my own bunk and just stare at her. I know my stare occasionally freaks people out; my eyes are this real intense blue color, and if I stare without blinking, its a bit freaky. Guys and girls have been known to feel uncomfortable under The Stare. For different reasons, of course. Shes so busy typing, that she doesnt notice. Im a bit annoyed at first; Im not the type of person you ignore. But then Im like, whatever. She wont bitch about me staring, then. I start at the hair. Its pretty long, but she always has it in a messy bun at the nape of her neck or in that style where a chick has it tied up then lets it flow down. Looks like a horses tail. The names a bit like that, but I cant remember it. Its brown. Normal brown. At least its not dull. Its pretty glossy. I said this on the plane, didnt I? I bet it would look real nice down. It would probably be halfway down her back. Face. Normal, normal, normal! Normal brown eyes, normal eyelashes, a normal, nice nose, normal, nice lips. Skins fine, a bit tanned, like shes outdoors a lot. Shes got nice cheekbones, though. Unusually pronounced.

Shes got a longish neck, and shoulders a bit wider than Id expected. The rest of her was covered in baggy clothes, but her feet were bare and, I guess, pretty in an understated way. They were painted a pale pink. I was a bit surprised, because se didnt seem like the type. Shes muttering under her breath. Something wrong? I ask nicely. Leave me alone, she says absently. I feel my face tighten. I would think the same thing about a mosquito. Was I ever rude to her? No. I get up slowly and stalk to her side of the room, lower myself to sit on the bed next to her. She doesnt even look at me. Jessica, I say silkily. Dont mess with me. She doesnt even look at me. She just continues typing. The typing noise is getting on my nerves. I reach out to close the computer, but she knocks my hand away with a strength that surprises me. I can take care of myself, she says just as silkily, but her eyes seemed to be a shade darker than I remembered, and I know shes pissed. And shes probably been bottling this up for the past couple of days. Hey. I didnt ask to get roomed with her! Well, damn. I think Ive actually underestimated her. Ive NEVER done that before. And it pisses me off. I reach up and tuck a little curl behind her ear, and ignore how warm her skin is. I believe you, I say softly. So Ill say it again. Dont mess with me. I havent done shit to you. I hate guys like you, she says, finally looking me straight in the eyes. So how about you stay to your side, I stay to my side, and we ignore each other. I want to say yes. I probably should have. But I open my mouth and say with a small smile, Girls dont hate me, Jessica. I mean, its true. I guess the truth hurts, because she slams the laptop shut (ouch) and turns off the light. There are two switches, one by each bed, but when I go back to my own, I dont turn on the light. I duck into the bathroom to change into my pajamas gym shorts and a wife beater then get into bed. Her breathings pretty light, so I know shes awake. And pissed. Whatever happened to the nerdy Jessica, the one I barely see at all? Maybe she has like a kick ass twin. Sexy. I smile. I swear, that girl must have sensed my rowdy little thought, cause one moment later Dont mess with me, Montgomery, she says in the darkness, throwing my words back into my face.

Uh, oh that sounded like a challenge. I know I may act like a conceited guy I cant help it, it comes with the irresistible looks but when Im pissed, I can be mad tough. I may act nice, but I can and will beat the shit out of any guy that messes with me. I wont hurt a girl God no, of course not but she better be careful Shes too much of a goodie goodie to break any rules to get me, and that I know for sure. Do your worse, babe, I say. But no rule breaking. Wouldnt want all your pretty extra credit taken away. I dont think shell be that bad. Honestly, my social position is God. Id like to see her take that away. Besides, Im not like that with girls. I would never hurt them. Ill make then really uncomfortable, sure, but anything more is against my morality. What the hell can she do? Nothing. I go to sleep with that cheerful little thought in my head.4 Hey, Notebook! So I curled on my bed to work on some paper (just like I have a right to) and then HE comes in like he owns the freaking world. He makes a crack about my PJs, then just sits on his bed and stares at me. Hes got these really intense blue eyes too blue if you ask me and when he stares at you its freaky. But I dont say anything till he bothers me again. Before I know it, were arguing, he has the nerve to try and close my laptop (which I saved for myself, thank you very much), and he pretty much dares me to take him down. How can I resist that? Its about six in the morning right now, and Im watching him sleep. He looks really young when he sleeps none of that arrogance thats usually on his face is there. But its all in that self absorbed little brain of his. But how to get him? Okay, Diary, I have to go. I think Ive got a nice, small, simple idea Ill try to write again, soon Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o

Four letter words again. I told you about the ones I use. Another group of them is the ones I use for girls. Like babe. Or chick (five letters, but whos counting?). Once in a while, theres eve the word slut. Its not a nice word, but if girls dont like it, they shouldnt put out more than a whole school of guys can take. Theres always a girl like that in every school. You have the popular girl, the nerdy girl, the sporty girl, and the slut. A lot of people mix popular and sluttish. Its not always true. But when it does it causes stereotypes. Oh, yeah. And, for guys like me, it means we get some mad heavy shit. So no complaints here. In fact, sometimes, Im all for it. But I have a new four letter word. Actually, its five letters, and its reserved for one girl in particular. The girl? Jessica. The word? Bitch. I actually dont use that word all too often. I reserve it for people who really, really deserve it. Like my sister, or my best friend. But, now Im, sticking Jessica on that short list. Should she feel honored? No. Want to know why? Heres the story. I wake up this morning, totally alert because Id just realized, in the middle of a dream, that I had a test soon, so I wake myself up; its something I learned to do when I was younger and wanted to get out of a nightmare. Sitting up, I flick on the lights Jessicas gone and Im reaching for the textbook when I glance at the clock to see how much time I have left. I feel my mouth fall open. No. I dont have an hour. I do not have thirty minutes. I do not have ten minutes. I do not have two minutes. I dont have zero minutes, even. I have, like, negative twenty minutes. Which means, if you dont get it, Im freaking late! Bounding out of bed, I change pants, leave on the shirt, grab a pencil and a pen, and all but run to class. I am twenty five minutes late for a test that I have no clue what the stuff its on is about. Everyone looks up; the gazes

linger longingly on me, then turn back to the test. The whole once over was over in like three seconds. Jeez, how hard could this test be? Now Im sitting in my seat, and Im angry. Rafael Montgomery does not get angry with girls. He will get offended, disappointed, annoyed, or, very rarely, he will get hurt (slightly) by one. But he does not get angry. I knew Id turned on the alarm clock. Id checked to make sure. Which means only one thing. Because Jessica knows that my social position is untouchable, she goes for my academic one. Excellent aim. She turned off the freaking alarm. But I know what her vulnerable spot is. I glance her way. I finished the test filled in random answers. I read a few questions and realized that it was hopeless; I didnt know the first two, so I probably wouldnt know the last twenty three. So I bubbled in a pretty pattern and waited for the bell. Shes bent over her test, filling in the last few questions. Her hair is up again, as usual, and it spills over her shoulder and brushes against the desk. As if she feels me looking at her, she looks up, and stares back. Theres an innocent look in her gaze, and for a moment I think, what if she didnt Then her whole face changes, and her eyes come alive with humor, and a self satisfied smile comes across her lips, and I know that she was the one who had done this. Someones had drama classes, too. I look away to glare at my test. But as I said, I know where her vulnerable spot is, so when our eyes meet a second time, I give her a small, innocent smile and award her with The Stare again, the same one that I gave her last night. But this ones a bit more furious. She bites her lip and looks away quickly. Yeah, Jessica, you do that. Oh, yeah, I know where I can get her. She doesnt like me. She doesnt like me touching her, talking to her, being around her. Hi, my names Rafael Montgomery, and I am Jessicas new stalker. She is so going to pay. Im going to have her head over heals in love with me by the end of the semester.

See if I dont. o0o0o0o0o0o Hey, I got him good and he knows that. I had History first period, and he came in like halfway into the period. Unfortunately Ms. Gem didnt say anything, but he SO failed that test. He was looking at me suspiciously, and I couldnt resist smiling. I mean, a simple thing as turning off the alarm clock? Hilarious. I actually hadnt been sure if it would have worked, because he seems to be a morning person, and often he wakes up before his alarm clock goes off. Which is really annoying, because if I want to get up I have to pretend to sleep until he goes into the bathroom or something so I can sneak out to Evas room where I have an extra toothbrush and everything. I refuse to get into fights over the bathroom. I dont care what stereotypes are out there guys are just as bad as girls. And they leave the toilet seat up. Then they act like its no big deal. Well, guess what? I dont want to worry about falling into the toilet bowl at two AM in the morning. So, I had my fun. Now I have to worry about himh having his fun. Because he gave me this nice little smile in History, but at the same time, his eyes were hot. Ive never seen anyone pull it off, but if that guys eyes could shoot daggers, Id be long dead. So I guess I have to somehow get an extra alarm clock, maybe? Jessie Ps. Okay. Maybe its just me, but I feel like everywhere I go, hes hanging out in the same corridor Im walking in. And he stares at me. Am I being paranoid? o0o0o0o0o0o Okay, perhaps she wont be in love with me soon. But most definitely annoyed. Shes not in the room when I walk in. Its the day after I flunked the test because of her. Smart girl. But after getting back a test with the numbers twenty eight scrawled on top and a see me note, I decide to cut art and catch little Ms. Jessica where there are no witnesses.

I said shes not in the room. No, shes in the bathroom. Taking a shower. Id wondered when she bathed. She certainly never did it while I was around. I guess she had a free period or something. I hear the water go off, and I slip behind the bathroom door so that when she opens it, Ill be behind it. She walks out, singing in a pretty voice. I dont care. When shes like five steps into the bedroom, I slam the bathroom door shut and move in front of it. Its Rafael! I say in a spooky, stretched out voice. She jumped like a rabbit and made this odd squeaky noise Id always thought mice made. She spins around and both hands grab onto her towel to make sure its covering everything. It is her towels a helluva lot bigger than mine. Its one of those beach towels. I didnt notice that the first day I was here she must have bought that especially for me. She looks like a deer caught in headlights. Hello, Jessica, I smile. Its not a really nice smile. Her throat bobs, like she wanted to say something, but it wont come out. What did you get on your test? I ask sweetly. See? Im a concerned fellow student. But my God, if she says she got a Hundred, she says nervously. She said it. Arg. Grrr. Jeez. What a freaking geek. You know what I got? I say, still mad pleasant. She looks like she doesnt want to know. She looks like shes embarrassed. Water is running from her hair onto the towel. I rake my eyes over her. Nice legs, I notice. Very nice legs. Long and lean. I wonder briefly what sport she does. But thats beside the point. Everything like that is beside the point. Like how good she smells. The point is, shes at a disadvantage, and shell have to stay in the damn towel for as long as I want her to till she puts clothes on, runs screaming into the hall, or somehow manages to get past me into the bathroom. I highly doubt shell be able to accomplish any of those things. I got a twenty eight, I say in a dangerous voice. I know its dangerous. I practiced it. People back at my old school knew to get down on their knees and grovel for mercy. Well, okay, Ive only done it to a few people (remember I told you about that guy Michael? He was one of them) but thats not the point. The point is, Im in Scary Mode. Well, okay, Sexy/Scary Mode. Im never not in sexy mode. But youre right in front of me, so you can tell. Duh. But back to my furious expression. She should get a wee bit scared, right aboutnow

Her face twists. For a second, I think shes going to cry shit, did I scare her that much? Rafaels rules of conduct is never make a girl cry unless its because she needs to be dumped, so Im trying to come up with a pretty apology for being such a bastard but then I realize shes trying not to laugh. And you ask why chivalrous men are a dying breed? Its not funny, I growl. I know it was to test what wed learned, but were you really that bad in History before you came here? Most of that stuff was review, she points out with that innocent look of hers. Remind me to ask her if she had the same drama classes as I did. Wouldnt that be a pretty little coincidence? The reason I was put into a new school was because I wasnt doing so good in the last one. That was really smart of you, I observe scathingly. You cant do jack shit to my social life, so you go for my grades. She loses the battle and gives a muffled snicker. She stuffs the towel in her mouth to stop it, exposing like five inches of her leg. One more inch and Games over. She sees where Im looking. Darn. She all but leaps for the nearest bed which happens to be mine, thank you very much and burrows under the covers. Pervert! She gasps out in a strangled voice. Get out! Well, okay, there are a few words between the Get and the out, but I think you get the gist of what shes saying. She looks really funny, wet hair all over, trying to cover up her skin. I smile. I told you Im irresistible. You say you cant stand me, but hey, look, youre totally naked in my bed. Id like to say she gets this stunned look on her face, and then realizes that Im totally right. She says so, and I am victorious once again. Maybe I can see a bit more leg if Im lucky. Well, the only thing about that little fantasy I got right was the stunned expression on her face. Thats about the time she grabs my heavy Physics textbook and, somehow managing to use two hands but not let anything be exposed, hurdles it at my head. I duck out the way just in time, and with a frighteningly loud thud, the book sails past me and hits the wall. I look over my shoulder and see the dent. Shit. Im outta here. I all but run out the door, pencils and paperback books pelting after me. There are some times in life where you have to make your point, then get

the hell out of there. This was one of those times. Im not a coward Im cautious. A dent in my skull wouldnt be a good thing. When I duck into the hallway, a few girls look at me in surprise. I close the door behind me, but not before an eraser, plastic pencil sharpener, and a Michael Crichton book goes flying after me. I catch the last one. Ive wanted to read Congo for a while. I think its that time of the month, I remark flippantly, so that my abrupt exit wouldnt be seen as one of mortal terror. Do you girls always hate the guys? They all laugh, say Jessicas acting totally normal, shell be back to her usual attitude in a few days (SHIT if shes like that without PMSing, Ill be sleeping in empty classrooms several days per month) and tell me if I need anywhere to sleep Raffie! A voice calls out. I wince. Rafe is totally cool. I prefer Rafael. But Raffie like, isnt that a singer for little kids? I dont remember. But I hate it when people call me that. Its Marie. Her hair is all curly and all over the place. I think she wanted to look nice, but I was tempted to ask what electric socket shes stuck her finger in. But I dont. Why? Lets say it all together, people Im nice. How many times do I have to tell people this? Interesting hair, I say pleasantly. Its true. It IS interesting. But its more like a car accident interesting than a nice interesting. But she doesnt get it. Thanks, Raffie! she squeals. Rafael, I say. Huh? Its cool when chicks call me Rafael, I say. Please get the hint. She smiles. I can smell the coconut lip gloss all the way up here. I hate coconut. But, Raffie, Im not just some other girl. She sidles a bit closer to me. I thought short shorts were against the school rules. I mean, theyre great legs, but I mean Oh, scratch that. Its a great view. Raffie? she says again. What do I say now? I decided to just let it go. Look My cell phone rings, and the bars of Sandstorm come out of my pocket. Ive always had a fondness for the song. First kiss. I grab it desperately. Its Anne. Shes in my modern art class. Yeah? I say, flipping it open. Whats up?

Her voice is so low I know shes hiding the cell in her sleeve. Ms. Rumsfeld is going to shit a brick here. She saw you hale and hearty in the hall and wants to know where you are. I cant tell her you have your period or something, so I said you ate something you were allergic to or something. Yeah, make it a coconut, I joke wryly. Stuff always upsets my stomach. Oops. The lip stuff. I forgot. Marie had just clapped a hand over her lips in horror and ran off. I feel a bit guilty. But whatever. Maybe shell have peach next time. I love peach. Cant be too heavy, but a little bit just smellsso damngood Im hungry. Ill go to the lunchroom later. Like, I have lunch now, right between my academic classes and my electives. Never told you about lunch, did I? Ill tell you in a moment, because I have lunch now... Oh, wait, no, the last five minutes of Modern Art. Coconut. Okay. No, not good enough. As I head towards class, I try to think of a good excuse as to why I was cutting. I walk in and the whole class looks up at me in pity. I see the glint in the teachers eyes when she notices me standing in the doorway. Uh oh. I say, Ms. Rumsfeld, may I please speak to you for a minute? Then I step out again and pinch my cheeks as hard as I can so theyre red, and I put this super embarrassed expression on my face. She bustles out. Where have you been? She starts to yell, but she sees my face. My dear boy, whats wrong? she asks, all maternal. I bite my lip, shift my weight. I, ah I lean a bit closer and lower my voice. I ate something that didnt agree with me. Im so sorry, I put on an earnest expression over my embarrassed one. Its a tough one to pull off well. Took hours in front of the mirror. My stomach was so upset, and She gets the hint that Im suggesting I took a major dump. Do you need to lay down? I smile pathetically; fight it becoming a grin when I see Anne laughing helplessly beyond Ms. Rumsfelds shoulder in the room. Oh, no, I feel so horribly about missing this class, its such a wonderful place to express myself. Okay, you may be sitting there thinking that Im laying it on a bit too thick, but this, you must understand, is an aging female artist. Which means that the more bull you give, the more they love you. Throw in Picasso or Pollocks name and youve gotten an automatic hundred in the class. Because I dont

know what Picasso or Pollock has to do with having the runs, I decide to use their names later. Just then, the bell rings, and Anne hurries over. Oh, Rafael, she says, all worried, You should get something good in your stomach. Smart girl. She saw I had wrapped an arm around it in mock discomfort. Ms. Rumsfeld seconds that, urges me on, and Anne and I turn the corner and dissolve into laughter. When we calm down, she gasps out, What did you tell her? Diarrhea, I say, and the laughter starts all over again so that we can barely stagger into the cafeteria together. My normal seat in the middle with like a million tables stuck together around where I sit. Its kinda like a solar system; Im the sun, and all the chicks just revolve around mepretty picture, isnt it? Jessica walks past me. I double back. Jessica? What is she doing here? Ive never Hmmm, Anne exclaims. Havent seen Jessie for a while. Shes usually in the library. You guys are friends? I ask doubtfully. Yeah! Anne sounds surprised. Shes pretty popular. Seeing the dead shocked expression on my face, she laughed. You thought she was the typical nerd, didnt you? She cracks up again. Your face is a picture, she says. Im sure it is. I stare after Jessica. You would think I would know my own roommate better, I mutter. Why dont you? Anne asks pragmatically. What? Get to know her? Yeah, Anne says. I was about to say, I dont see you shaking hands with cactuses and lunatics that chuck around textbooks, but theyre friends. I cant say stuff like that. Besides, I dont have to. I must have had a look on my face like, oh, hell no, because she starts laughing again. Shes really adorable. I wonder if she has a girlfriend. She totally should. Shes not that bad. But, she frowns suddenly. Oh.

I sigh, put my bag on the chair, ignoring the chatter of the other girls. What do you mean, but? I demand. Seeing that Annes about to shrug it off, I grab her. Well, okay, I dont grab her, but I do put a hand on her shoulder. Look, Anne, she nearly brained me with a Physics textbook, and I think that I of all people deserve to know why Jessicas such a I fumble. I dont want to say bitch, but what else has she been? So I say it. Anne sighs. Okay. One. Call her Jess or Jessie, but in Gods name, and I do not blaspheme here, do not call her Jessica. As for why shes so bitchy to you well, she doesnt like guys like you. She hesitates, like shes about to say more, but then she just clams up. I dont wonder why, because I feel a little icicle form in my hair. Something very cold has entered the Montgomery solar system Hey, Jessie, I say. I dont even bother to look at her. I hear a haughty little sniff. Then she leans into me. I smell that shampoo. And peaches? Paybacks sweet, she mutters, then stalks off. To the library, The blond, Eva, says, rolling her eyes. Shes got some extra credit to finish up, then shell be free for a few weeks to eat with us. I wouldnt be surprised if she finishes that paper today. Well need an extra chair tomorrow. She better start coming for dinner, too. Shes too damn skinny to She eats, Anne points out, and everyone smiles like they know something I dont. Which they do. Im not even going to ask, because Im picturing Jessie sitting with us for lunch. And dinner. Damn it, this was my favorite group of girls to sit with. Oh, joy. Talking about Jessica my bad, Jessie what was that she whispered in my ear? What payback is she talking about? Hey, give me credit here. I actually started worrying right away. o0o0o0o0o0o OhIm so angry! He corners me in our - scratch that, my room, me only with a towel wrapped around me, and has the nerve to keep his mouth shut when my towel shifts, if you catch my drift. Then, when I try to cover myself, he says its all because hes so sexy! Its not my fault theres a dent in the wall now.

Then, he doesnt even get in trouble for cutting class. He tells his teacher that he had stomach problems. And she believed him. He will pay for this. Just give me a few minutes to think of something. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Okay. Us guys all know about you girls ways to get a guy. We overhear the conversations, sneak into our older sisters bedroom to read the magazines. We accidentally flip onto, like, the oxygen channel, and we watch Sex and the City with our girlfriends because its a damn good show. You females have always had little ways of getting to a man, from dropping those pieces of cloth (I think theyre called handkerchiefs) to wearing that wonderful invention. The miniskirt. I might consider bowing to whomever invented that. A popular way you girls think you can get to a guy is through his stomach. Thats not a fact. There are always exceptions. Im not one of them. So sue me. I love my food. Every day I get a whole tray full of school lunch. I know some of you are making faces stop that because this food is not only healthy, but its good. Yeah, thats right. School lunch that tastes good. So I go up to the lunch lady and give her my trademark smile thats always gotten me more than the portion Im supposed to have. She doesnt smile back. Then, she ladles the most pathetic amount of food onto my tray. I gape at her as she shoves it towards me. Thats it? Oh my god Im going to starve to death. Im going to be a skeleton before I even have a chance to push up the daisies. I resist the urge to give a manly bellow. Okay, a scream, but manly bellow sounds better. I do have a bit of pride, even though I know its hard to tell because Im so modest. Is there a reason Im suddenly on a new diet? I ask as politely as I am able to under such a drastic threat. She scowls at me. Shes a short, wrinkled old prune of a woman. I bet shes that secretarys great-great granddaughter. Theyre both old enough. I heard that my food gave you indigestion, so maybe this will make you feel better, she censures with total indignation. I stand stock-still, too shocked to defend myself. Say what? My little white lie about the diarrhea. Its the only possibility. But who could have walked past Anne and me, overheard our conversation, and want to do such an evil thing? Such an evil, twisted way of getting to a guy through his stomach?

Doesnt take a genius to figure this out. I leave the lunch where it is and storm out the lunchroom, taking only one little detour to grab my bag. Everyones chatter dies down. I must look pretty pissed. I mean like, jeez, normally I can just laugh this off, steal someone elses lunch and give them a dollar or something, but I swear, Jessica just gets under my skin. As I walk up the stairs the lunchroom is on the first floor and the library is on the sixth (eight floors total in the school, if I didnt say that before), I feel my anger just turn into this wicked little energy. Making me late for a test and starving me may not seem like such a big deal, but I mean, Jessicas not going to stop, that much I can tell. So for a few days, like, okay, but a whole year? Im going to need severe psychological treatment here. I reach the library. The librarians gawk at me I havent been here yet but let me go in without showing any ID or something. Yeah, theyre female. Duh. The room has rows and rows of books. I conceal my shudder. Okay, like, Ill read an occasional spy novel, but not a book like, lets say, Washington Square by Charles Dickens. He wrote that, right? Totally. I walk quietly through the bookshelves, until I see a familiar brown haired figure in the corner. Shes furtively moving her hand. As I move closer, I see shes eating. A few steps later, and I see shes eating chocolate chip cookies. My stomach growls. I walk up right behind her, press myself against her gently. She doesnt jump this time, but her whole body goes tense and shes holding herself very still. Im not squashing her or anything, but if she tried to back up she will be, and the bookcase is in front of her. I have a new appreciation for bookcases. I reach over her shoulder and grab a cookie out of the plastic bag shes holding. I take a bite. My mouth just, like, had an orgasm. These are the BEST cookies in the world. My old neighbors gingerbread cant hold a flipping light bulb to this shit right here. Um. Candle. Whatever. Damn, I say quietly. My voice sounds normal, none of my internal ecstasy revealed. If Jessie knew Ive fallen in love, shell twist it against me. These are mad good. They are. I mean, cardboard would be also good at this point, but these cookies are HEAVEN. I try to keep my voice down because if were busted, I wont get any more cookies. The librarians probably dont like students who eat food in the library. Even if one of them is in danger of suffering from malnutrition.

Those are my cookies, she says in a hushed voice that barely makes it from her mouth to my ear. But I can tell shes really, really annoyed. And something else, but I dunno what. I can read faces more than I can read voices. All I can see is her hair. I finish the first one, take another one. When she tries to pull the bag out of reach, I just grab her arm with my other hand. Its pretty firm. Definitely push-ups. I should know. I take a bite of the second cookie. Remind me to ask her where she gets them because shes about to say something and its not nice to interrupt. Youre pressing against me, she mutters. She noticed. Cool. Yeah, I say cheerfully. I said she has a nice bod. Nicer than Maries, but I would still rather ask Marie out. I lean over her shoulder she comes up about my eye level, and Im not short and take another one while holding my neck at an awkward angle so I can see her face. Where did you get those cookies? She mumbles something about leftovers from last month, but Ill be damned if I know what. I fish out the last one, hold it up to her mouth. Split you, I offer. I think thats really nice of me. I mean, its HER fault Im hungry. She shakes her head, mouth totally compressed. Whatever. I pop the whole thing in my mouth. It fits. I have a pretty big mouth, but it doesnt look like it. Thank you, I say, and step away. Her body stiffens up, and I realize, at the same point that she herself must have noticed, shed actually relaxed against me a bit. She turns around just in time to see me smile. Freaking bad timing. I start looking for an avenue of escape. Theres a helluva lotta books to throw at me here Its not MY fault Im so damn irresistible. Oh, shit, did I just say that out loud? I think I did. Yeah, I did. Jessies face turns bright red and she grabs a book. Just as she draws her arm back to throw it, a librarian walks past, then doubles back, staring at her in horror. She quickly pretends to scratch at her neck, and I take advantage of Jessica being pinned by the librarians accusing glare by walking out the library. I realize Im whistling, and only then did I notice what a good mood Im in. I glance behind me, and I see Jessie furiously scribbling in a small book. Probably homework. Boring.

o0o0o0o0o0o Ten minutes later, Diary So I got my revenge by telling Betty the lunch lady that hed blamed his stomach problems on the school food. She takes pride in her food. She should its pretty good. I stayed around to see the horror on his face when he barely got any food. Im grinning right now just thinking about it. But one of my darling friends ratted me out no ones taking the blame and told him I would be in the library. So he comes up behind me and makes it so that I cant move unless I want to brush up against him. Tried to hold still, but He must do some serious workout. Cant believe I just wrote that. So what he has a great body? Anyway. Just lost my train of thought. Where was I? Damn, I cant remember. Oh, yeah. Not only did he all but rub against me, but he took my cookies. I never wrote about it, considering I just got you, but every time I, you know, go through that time of the month, I have to have sweet stuff. So Betty looks the other way one night once a month, and I go to the school kitchens and cook up every single thing I can remember from the cooking classes I used to take. Because all the girls around here get their periods at around the same time, I sell whatever I cant eat, and trust me; I make a very nice amount of money. That plus the money I get for working at the store on Saturdays, and I could send back any checks that Richard sends me. But those were my last chocolate chip cookies. I still have a few random things, but A guy cannot take chocolate from me. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o I still hadnt gotten full revenge yet for turning off my alarm. I dont think I fully realized my luck till I saw Jessicas face when I walked into History on Tuesday morning. To say she looked dismayed is a bit weak. What? She says faintly.

I walk past where her and the teacher are talking and take my seat. I cant hear what they say, but its really fun to see the expressions on Jessicas face. Horror. Shed gotten the news broken to her. Faint hope. Shes come up with a way to get out of it. A moment later, annoyance. The teacher insisted, and Jessies not the type to say no. A teachers word is like, sacred to her. Ugh. Then, theres a bit of anger, but that turns into despair as the teacher waves dismissively for Jessica to sit down in her seat. She stalks to the chair and sits down, back ramrod stiff. She glances at me, her eyes furious. I blow her a kiss. She starts writing notes in her binder dude, there arent any notes on the board and shes gripping the pen so hard I think its going to break. Yuck. I hate it when pens break. All that ink never comes out of your clothing. Whats that, you say? Oh. Why is she pissed? I didnt tell you? Sorry. Shes my new history tutor. Stalking was never so easy5 See you, I call out after Marie. She shoots me this really sexy look over her shoulder and saunters off. Both Anne and me watch her as she walks off. Anne coughs embarrassedly. Sometimes I get the feeling shes overdoing it, she observes. Im not complaining, I respond. I think Im going to ask her out. I can sense Anne looking at me in surprise. I wonder why. Maybe cause Im so open with her. I dunno. Shes real easy and fun to talk to. Its been a while since I could actually talk to a girl that doesnt worship the ground I walk on. Like, not that Im getting bored of it or anything, but once in a while its nice to not feel so privileged. Gorgeousness is such a heavy weight but yeah. The only girls in the school that are like that are Anne and Jessie. Okay, maybe Eva as well, but I dont really talk to her that much. We all know what would happen if I tried to confide in Jessie. It would

probably be twisted, warped, and written on the bathroom wall in about twenty seconds flat. Ask her out? She asks. Well, if you want her for the physical, yeah, whatever, but for someone you can talk to? Youre better off asking someone else out. Maries a bit of a she trails off, shrugs. I give a small laugh. Im not asking her out for her conversation. I sigh. I have to go to my dorm room. Jessicas supposed to be tutoring me in history. Id forgotten, but now I can feel my adrenaline levels go up. All in the name of fun What dark dirty secret did you discover to get her to do that? Anne asks. The teacher asks her to, I say, and Anne gives an ohhh sound to say she understands. Be nice to her, Anne says. I scowl. Do you ever tell Jessica to be nice to me? She doesnt even have the grace to look apologetic. Hell no. You can handle yourself. Shes only like that because she stops abruptly, clamping a hand over her mouth as her cheeks redden. You cant keep secrets for your life, can you? I observe dryly. She flushes. I can keep secrets. I just cant keep the fact that I know someones secrets a secret. She adds a little embarrassed shrug. Everyone tells me their stuff. I know everything about everyone by now. I smile. Who knows your secrets? I ask. Her face falls slightly. I keep them to myself. But she says it real quietly. I just dont feel comfortable talking to my friends sometimes. Well, I say honestly, If you ever need to unload on someone, you can always talk to me, or a stranger. Theyre always the most objective listener. Not that Ive ever tried it, but a few people have spilled to me on the train or bus before. Like, its freaky, but after a while, you get used to it, and when you can help it feels nice. I hope Anne finds someone as cool as me to talk to. I doubt it, but still Thanks, Anne says, and she really means it. See what I mean? Shes so cute. What girl could resist her? Well, the straight ones, but still you know

what I mean. Remind me to ask her about her girlfriend later. Now, I gotta run so that Jessica will only throw a small book at my head. Shed informed me, after history class, that I had better meet her in our room if I wanted to get any sort of tutoring by six. It was now six fifteen. Not that she would mind, right? I opened the door to our room and nearly considered going to the nurse for frostbite. But I braved the cold and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me. Sorry Im late. She sneers at me. Shes wearing long, baggy sweats, white sports socks, and a baggy gray sweatshirt. Her hair is pulled up in a messy ah, I remember what its called now a messy ponytail. Strands of fine brown hair stuck out in all directions, and she was sitting on her bed with the history textbook open on her lap and a scowl on her face. Wheres your test? Hope you didnt burn it yet. Well, then. I rummage through the pile of papers and textbooks under my bed and after a moment I locate the test, squashed and slightly tattered at the edges from being stuck between my Spanish textbook and the bedpost. I toss it to her. Got it, Jessica. Why thank you, Raffie, she says sweetly. I wince. So shed somehow heard about that, too. Okay, she says. This is review. As in, you should have already learned it. So, Im not going to teach you a year of U.S. history. If your teacher couldnt get through you with a years time, I cant in fifteen minutes. Ouch. Fifteen minutes? I ask. I was thinking about, like an hour. Lets compromise, she says. Ill help you for half an hour, and you get off my back and leave me the heck alone. But she didnt say heck. Foul mouth, Jessica, I say lightly. Needling her was a blast! You draw more flies with honey, not vinegar. Who the heck wants flies? She says curtly. Yet again she didnt use heck. But I dont say anything because I kinda agree with her. Lets make a compromise. You call me Davidson, and Ill call you Montgomery. Sit down. I sit next to her. She edges away, and I shift afterwards so our legs brush together when I lean forward. So I lean forward. She draws her leg back a bit. I meant, like, get a chair or sit on the floor.

I ignore that. Compromise. You call me Rafael and Ill call you Jess. Rafael and Jessie, she fires back. Fine, I shrug. So you do know what a compromise is, she says sarcastically. Im not stupid, I grumble. Hardcore evidence shows otherwise, she picks up my test, flips around, then stops. What was the Compromise of 1850 about? She reads out loud. See? compromise being a key word there. I dunno, I say, and sprawl out over her bed to get more comfortable. Propping up my head with one hand, I ask, Didnt Clay make it so that it would, like, calm down all that shit about slavery? He makes a deal that will make the North and South happy. Well, it wasnt, like, a genius or specific answer, but it gets the idea across. She stares at me for a moment. Answer choice B says, basically, what you just told me. I quirk my eyebrows. Didnt I pick that? No, she says, a note of disbelief in her voice. You picked answer choice D. Which was, A compromise in which Columbus purchased America from Germany. She gives a small, horrified laugh. What the hell? Oh, I say. I remember. I couldnt figure out some of the others so I bubbled in a pattern. You what? She strangles out. Hmmm. I thought Id been pretty clear. What I did, I say slowly. Is bubble in a pattern. I did A, B, C, D, C, B, A, and so on, so it made this cool zigzag pattern. Why am I tutoring you? She says to the ceiling. You need a wake-up call, not a roommate. She looks at me, frank disbelief in her stare. Do me a favor. Redo this test, but no patterns. Just do your best. Hey. I liked that pattern. You should have seen the ones I did at my old school. I had some really hot ones. But I obligingly grab a pencil on the floor and redid the test in about fifteen minutes, and handed it to her. She glances over it, and her mouth falls open. What? I ask.

Ah she trails off, grabs the pencil from my hand, and writes on the margin. A minute later, she says, You got a ninety-two. Cool, I say. If I angle my head like this, I can see bare skin under her sweatshirt. It seems pretty tanned, too. Is she tanned all over? Is that an artificial tan, or does she just tan nude? If she does, where? Montgomery! She practically yells in my ear. I jump, and then sit up. What? So much for Rafael and Jessie. Why didnt you just do the test? Shes staring at my test in utter confusion. I sit kind of behind her; make sure my mouth is level with her ear when I say, Which ones did I get wrong? Whoops, did I just blow a bit of my warm breath in her ear? Of course not. (Note the innocent expression. That probably means I did.) I think she might have shivered, but I couldnt tell through the clothes. You got the first two wrong. What, did you just read the first two, then decide you couldnt do the rest and guessed from then on? I think shes psychic. I really do. o0o0o0o0o0o She didnt talk to me after that. Just did her homework, and then left the room to go do whatever it was that she did. First hint Ive seen of her having a social life. From what I could tell, she mainly hung out with Eva and Anne, while Marie was more of a loner. She did, however, have two devoted followers, two girls that she would call her little helpers. I figured that they did whatever she told them to do. I dont even know their names. The more I learned about Marie, the more I wondered if she was really worth it. But, dude, she was hot. I figured, Id just be with her for a while, then dump her. Shes the type that would kinda use me right back. Werent many girls that did, but the few that used me to help themselves were quickies. Date em and dump em, love em and leave em. You know how it goes. In history, the teacher gave me a test, because Jessie had told her I was totally fine. I did the test, handed it back to the teacher with a winning smile. She glanced over it, called Jessie to the front of the class. Jessie sits back down a minute later, and scribbles on a piece of paper. When the teacher turned her back to the class to write on the board, she tossed the paper across the room. It lands neatly on my desk. I pick it up, read it.

What kind of messed up pattern was that? I smile. Okay, so I didnt exactly do the test. How can I bother her without a legitimate excuse to back me up? Tutoring was going to continue till I decided that revenge was satisfactory. Or until the midterm came up. I did D, B, B, A, C, A this time. I toss the note back. She catches it, opens it. I can see her frown as she writes something down, passes it back. Why DID I do that? Oh, yeah. Quadratic formula, sorta. They didnt have x so I did d instead. Get it? X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of well, I think you get it. I hesitate, figuring that shed be lost at this point, and then write, I guess Ill need more tutoring. The paper arcs back and forth again. The quadratic formula? Youre confusing. No, youre a pig. More than that. Youre a real asshole, She writes back. Does it turn you on? I write that with a perverted glee. Oh man, she was going to shit a brick when she reads that. She spends the rest of the period shredding up the piece of paper before throwing them into the garbage and storming out the classroom the second the bell rang. o0o0o0o0o0o Sports start this week, Eva says as I walk her to her Health Class. Id taken it at my old school, so it was all cool. We reach the door, and I hand her the backpack Id carried for her. Rafaels rule of conduct. I ask her, Are you doing any sports? Volleyball, she responds, and quickly walks into her class. Evas a cool person, not frigid like Jessica, but laid-back kind of cool, the type of person youd want if youre in a bad situation, the type of girl you date if your ex gets obsessive. One look and the desperate girl will drop dead. Volleyball. Hmmm. I try to picture Eva in a bathing suit and smile. Ill definitely make good on my promise to help coach the volleyball team. Hey, maybe, if Im lucky, Marie will join.

Speaking of Marie, shes walking down the hallway. Her gaze is fixed on me, and she bumps into someone. Its Jessie. Watch it, freak, Marie says loudly, and everyone in the hallway slows down. That was pretty dumb of her. Even I notice it. Jessica may be a bit geeky, but shes got a helluva lot more popular friends than Marie. Hell, she might even be more popular than Marie. As rest of the girls and I watch, Jessica slowly rakes Marie up and down, and then takes a quick step forward. Marie jumps back nervously. Jessie smirks. See you around, Marie, she says in this kind of throaty voice, and continues on. A few girls give Jessie discreet head movements of support, and she smiles at them. Maries a bit embarrassed, but she squashes it down. Then she fixes that bright smile on her face. Hi, Raffie, she coos. Umugh. Okay, maybe Marie isnt for me. Ill deal. Plenty more girls to choose from. Like that really cute girloverthere She turns the corner. Damn. Oh, well. Raffie! Marie wails. How to escape. Im about to blab out some half-ass excuse, when I feel hand tap me on the shoulder. I turn, and my prayer of thanksgiving dies. Jessie. Can I talk to you for a moment? She asks. Wasnt she walking away from me a moment ago, like, to another floor? Why is she here? Im very confused but hey, escape from Marie. From the frying pan into the fire (Im hungry again). I follow her, apologizing to a frustratedlooking Marie as we leave her being. After turning the corner, she stops, so I do too. Yeah? I lean casually against the wall and make sure that I kinda pull my T-shirt against my body so its flatness can be observed. A few girls passing by certainly check it out, but Jessie doesnt. Oh well. Not like I was doing it for her. I just did you a favor and you know it, she says. Yeah, but the problem is, she knows it, too. What? I say warily. I need to skip out little tutoring thing, she says. And I dont want the history teacher on me about that. So you cover me.

What are you going to do? I ask, curious. I mean, duh, shes got a social life, but this here is concrete evidence. Meeting my boyfriend, she says, and a genuine, sappy smile breaks across her face. That crash you heard was my jaw hitting the floor, by the way. o0o0o0o0o0o Darling Notebook, Its either writing in here or going off to find Rafael and pounding his head into the wall. I believe it might actually do something, as I think he may have brain cells. He failed a test through pure laziness, and that just pisses me off. If youve got a brain, its an insult to yourself not to use it. Our little war is getting on my nerves. Im ashamed to admit hes found the button I hate pushed being with him. Like, so he was late to a test. He totally could have finished it in time. But no, he just had to get tutoring. From me. At least I only had to do it once. Ah, well. I have a date to prepare for and cheer me up. Yes! Jessie Ps. Still cant remember where Ive heard his name before. Whatever. Its not important. So if I remember, then Ill remember. o0o0o0o0o0o Its eleven Oclock. Curfew. The giggles have died away, the constant trickle of girls coming into my room is over, everything is dark, the night outside is beautiful, and where the hell is Jessica?? Im not worried. Jessicas a big girl. She can handle herself. Im not worried. Of course Im not. So I turn off the lights screw my math homework and try to fall asleep. After an hour, I decide that I should be worried. Becauserule-oriented people dont do this. Should I call Eva? Anne? I bite my lip. Theyre asleep. I shouldnt wake them up. The police? Probably, there was nothing wrong with Jessie and she would kill me later. I fall asleep after waiting for two freaking hours - before I can reach for my cell.

I was in the middle of a light doze (for some reason, deeper sleep was escaping me) when I hear a scraping noise. I hold myself still, and open my eyes carefully. A good thing about having long lashes besides the fact that they frame my eyes perfectly is that you can peer through them while pretending to be asleep, and everyones fooled because they cant see your eyes at all. The room is dark, so my eyes instantly go to the window. Theres a dark figure struggling to open the window. When it turns around to look behind it, I see and instantly recognize the profile and the messy ponytail. Jessie. Im pissed. Its two in the morning, and shes JUST getting back? Not only did she deprive me of two hours sleep and waking me up, but also I actually got kind of worried. I really ought to scare her as much as she scared me The figure is still facing away, so as fast as I can, I roll out of bed, stuff the pillows under so it looks like Im under it, and slide dont laugh too hard into her bed. Uhhuh. Shes going to get a heart attack. I press against the wall, in the darkest shadows. My fair coloring is pretty much hidden, so I doubt shell notice me till its too late. And boy, is she going to get a lecture from me. She turns back, and pries the window open. It opens soundlessly. She probably greases it. How did she reach it? Were only on the second floor, but still, falling would hurt. I remember I went out with this girl whose parents were so strict I had to climb to her room every night when they went to bed just to get a decent make-out. Her room was on the third floor, and I nearly killed myself a few times getting up and down. She slips in, glances around the room, gaze lingering on my bed and the pile of pillows concealed by the covers. The look on her face goes from nervous to relieved. Not that fast, babe. She grabs her PJs, ducks into the bathroom for about five minutes, during which I here the water running as low as possible and soft scuffling noises. Then she sneaks out again in those childish clothes. As I watch from a crack in the blanket, she slips in next to me, too busy eyeing the lump in my bed to notice the lump in hers. She gives this contented sigh, snuggles down, and turns her back on me. Thats when I sit up and clamp a hand over her mouth. She screams.

My hand muffles it. But she also tries to kick, punch, and leap out the bed at the same time, which kind of results in her falling right off the bed onto the floor with a bit of a loud thud. Ive said before, shes really strong, so whoops - I fall off of the bed after her and kinda land on her. I swear I didnt do it on purpose. See the innocent look I have on my face? Why do I get the feeling youre not buying it? Your problem. Anyway, I dont fall on her. I catch myself buy propping myself up, but she is sort of under me. Then she tries to knee me in the balls. Okay. You girls dont understand how much that hurts. How can you? You dont have any. But if a girl goes for that spot, youre desperate to keep the blow from landing. Youll do anything. So I stop propping myself up and let my body pin hers down so I can avoid unnecessary pain. I stop her leg inches away from the intended target. Damn it, Jessie, I say. My voice is scratchy from fear. That was a close one. Mdjfnvhtuuriuriuf shes saying furiously. My hand is still over her mouth. Oops. Id forgotten about that. I wonder what shes saying? I lift my hand an inch up off her lips, and her muttering become audible English: you fucking crazy ass, Im going to kick you between the legs so hard theyll come out your mkdfgidjrhguir Yeah, I covered her mouth again. I didnt really want to hear her finish that sentence. Theres only so much a man can take when talking about the family jewels. Besides, theres a lot to hurt. Stop it, I hiss. Se just glares at me, but she cant move, really. I weigh a lot. A hundred percent muscle, Im compelled to tell you. Well, okay, ninety. I DO have such necessary organ as stomach, and a brain. Definitely a brain. Youre giving me that disbelieving look again. Stop it. She finally stops muttering so I remove my hand before she bites me. She might have rabies or something. You never know. Where were you? I ask. I told you, she says coolly. With my boyfriend. Please move. I moved off of her. Just kidding. I wasnt going anywhere till I was ready to. You stayed out with your boyfriend until two in the morning? Why? Her eyes glitter at me. Chemistry, smartass.

I believe I just bared my teeth. You scared me, Jessica. She shrugged. Well, tried to as well as she could pinned to the floor. Youre not my mother, Raffie. Im a big girl, and if I want to stay out all night having fun, its none of your business. All night havingdoingHell, no. Not on my watch. I know I wasnt her mother, butI was doing it for Anne. Or Eva. They wouldnt want their friend having all nighters with her boyfriend. Just the idea made me shudder. Jessica. You are the valedictorian. You are a role model. Role models dont have sex on school nights. Or weekends, I wanted to say. It is Friday. But I need to make my point here. Even if its totally absurd. She sneers at me. Im not a freaking role model. I have fun. I enjoy life. Dont worry, Raffie, She suddenly says in a super-sweet voice. Uh-oh. I didnt do much tonight. If Id had sex, it would have taken a lot longer to climb that wall, because of a bit ofsoreness. She says the last part with a wide, disarming grin. Thats wrong. That is so wrong. It wont work. Im not moving. What, she thinks if she appeals to my horny side, Ill get uncomfortable because Id be thinking about sex and -? I get up really, really fast and haul her up with me. I didnt know where you were. None of your friends did, because Eva called me, asking where you were. Your cell wasnt on - (I hadnt called, I dont have her number, but it was a safe bet that it wasnt) and for all I knew, you could have been hurt and bleeding, all because I didnt say you were missing! At this point, my voice was perilously close to shouting. Jessica looks a bit shocked. Serves her right. Im I didnt know, she says softly. Ill call you next time. Okay? I sigh, feel the exhaustion hit me. Whatever, Jessie. Hope your pathetic boyfriend was worth it. Ack. I really cant keep my mouth shut. Hes not a loser! she snaps, but theres a note of hesitancy in her voice. Hes just a bit shy, thats all. Shy? I can twist that word around very well when Im angry. Watch me. Malleable, I snarl back. My energy has just bounced back. I bet hes a nice little nerd that had to be blackmailed into breaking curfew. You need someone you cant push around, I almost add, but I dont say anything. Ive said enough.

We storm to our beds, get in. Five minutes later, a book comes soaring through the dark and hits me in the back. Hard. Definitely a hardcover. I grit my teeth and dont do anything, until I finally fall into an uneasy sleep. o0o0o0o0o0o If I were the type to have bags under my eyes, they would be the size of well, something really big. Im too tired to come up with any analogies. Ive slept through all my classes, and no ones told me to stay awake. Being a teachers pet has advantages. Hah. That was a joke. Teachers dont let you sleep. But it doesnt matter, because its Saturday. Spell Saturday: F-R-E-E-D-O-M. You can watch cartoons (theres a lounge downstairs with a TV) or eat breakfast. Well, you can eat breakfast every morning, but I never have. You can sleep in, and procrastinate about homework. Im really good at procrastinating. The reason Im up and about when I can get sleep is because this is my second week here. Well, second weekend. I havent once ventured into the town, besides walking from the airport to the school. And, ah, not thats it important, but I believe it was once mentioned to me that Jessie has a job in town. Not that Im gonna look for her, bother her a bitno. Of course not. The fact that theres an airport, albeit a small one, tells you it may be not as hick as I bitched about as first. Ive heard it has a bar with teen dances every month or so. Theres a small movie theater coupled with a mall and restaurants. And an arcade. Im going to check it out. Maybe meet some guys. Strangely, Im not super anxious to reunite with my fellow men. I mean, sometimes girls are ditsy, but they actually are really cool to hang out with them. And when there are ONLY girls, you start to see past the shallow things, like their legs or boobs or whatever. Not that I dont notice them anymore, I just see MORE than that. I take a quick shower, dab on a bit of cologne, and pull on a tight black Tshirt, navy-green shorts, and sandals. Its really hot outside (maybe I should wear a white shirt instead? Nah. Not as sexy), so I rummage around a drawer on my half of the closet space till I find a pair of sunglasses. I slide them up into my hair till theyre perched on top of my head. I dont need them till I get outside. I stuff my wallet (with a bit of my monthly allowance sent by my parents, who still have no idea where Im being schooled) and my cell into my pockets and off I go. Its only, as I said before, a fifteen or twenty minute walk.

I hit the outskirts of the town, and I instantly head for the mall. Its obviously where the life is; theres like a zillion people pouring in and out of it. Well, thats what you get when you separate girls from guys and they can only really meet socially and outside of any adult supervision in a small town. Said town overflows. Actually Im surprised there arent more stores around business must boom over the weekends. If I were to open a business, I know where Id want to start. I barely step into the first store before Im bombarded with girls, all dragging behind them whatever guys theyve managed to nab. Then come the rounds of introductions, small talk, and easily winning everyone over with my incredible personality. Twenty-two Davids, eighteen Sams, 56 other names (no Rafaels!), forty-one handshakes, seventy-two nods, ten invitations to see a movie, thirty-seven offers of food, and about ninety Youre at the girls school? Lucky bastard! s later, I pull my sunglasses back on, even though its dark and it wont do much, and I head to the back of the mall, where fewer and fewer people are. The farther into the back of the mall I go, the more expensive the stores are. As the prices go up, the number of students goes down. As most people at both schools are rolling in money, this shows what a cheap, pathetic generation we are. Isnt it great? I browse a bit through several clothing stores, but nothing catches my eye. Skip the bookstore, ignore the small palm-readers shop (theres this girl storming out screaming at a guy, I KNEW youd cheated on me this summer! She read it in your palm!) and was about to give up all hope of being entertained without spending money when I see a small jewelry shop. I walk towards it, glance at the window. Its really nice. As someone who isnt stingy on Valentines Day, I have come to recognize the difference between good, great, and brilliant jewelry. This was brilliant. Each design, whether it was earrings or a bracelet was just completely awesome. And, seeing the price tags, expensive. But the real treat was looking beyond the window display and into the store. There were glass display cases everywhere. But best of all was the counter. Because, you see, there was someone behind that counter. Someone who looked a lot like Jessie.

I open the door, and she looks up from the computer shes typing away at. The second she sees me, theres a combination of anger, disgust, and annoyance on her face. Yeah, its Jessie all right I saunter up to the counter, push up the sunglasses. Hey, Jessie. You look a bit tired. Im not that good at holding grudges against girls. Guys are another story, but were not talking about them now are we? She glares at me. Her eyes are puffy and shadowed. Are you going to buy something? If I say no, shell find some way to kick me out the store. So I say, Theres a special person I want to buy something for. She sighs, gets up. Anything in particular? She says in a monotone. Something simple, elegant, I say. Not to heavy. She sits back down. Points to a case to my left. Look in there. I do. And its really nice, too. But I said that before. So Im about to point out this really nice one its a fine chain with a piece on it that looks like its been woven and twisted into a teardrop shape when the door opens again. I glance up, and look away. Nothing interesting; just a guy with dark brown hair and brown-green eyes. Hey, Jess, He says. Hey, Brad, Jessica says cheerfully. Cheerfully? I barely avoid whiplash when my head spins around to look at Jessie. Shes got a smile on her face, which can only mean one thing, as far as I can tell. Brad is her boyfriend. I reevaluate him. Arg. Hes probably the same height as her, nondescript clothes on a nondescript body. Hes plain. Just like Jessie. Um, hello, opposites do the best together. Why are they going out? I swear, some couples make me want to cry. Look, Jessie, I got in trouble last night, he says earnestly. You got caught climbing the wall? she asks, sounding a bit guilty.

He looked confused. Climb the wall? How? I had to pound onto the door till someone opened it up, and I was busted. I cant climb the wall to my room. Its on the second floor. Just like yours. I disguise my condescending laugh in a cough. Little idiot. How dumb can you get? My coughing dies a quick death when she shoots a glare at me. Not that Im looking at her, but I feel a second-degree start to form on the back of my head. Can we have a conversation about this later? She asks a bit desperately. The nice thing to do, at this point, is leave the store discreetly so the two of them can have a little chat about their relationship. And miss all the fun? No way. So I stay put, and after a moment, she mutters, What? He takes a deep breath. Jessie, I think we should break up. Theres a stunned silence, then Jessie says, Brad Were too different, He says, rushing on. Im not like you, and and I get it, Brad, Jessie says, sounding worn out. Theres an awkward silence. Well, okay, Brad says. Ill go now. And Jessie? She makes a little grunting noise under her breath. Like, You little loser, you just fucking dumped, me why should I care what you say, but fine, just hit me with it. Well, okay, a bit of my opinion in there. But you get the idea. Youve got bags under your eyes, he finishes. With that, he turns around and walks out the store, leaving both of us staring after him. What a little bastard. Are you going to buy anything? She finally asks. Yeah, I mutter, and point to the necklace. She comes around, opens the case, and lifts it out. She takes it to the cash register, rings I up three digits, if you were wondering about the price and slowly wraps it, her movements mechanical and a bit shaky. Sometimes, when a girl is hurt, you hold her, give her a shoulder to cry on. Other times you distract them. The third thing to do is just leave them alone, which is what I can tell Jessie needs right now. Shes a solitary kind of

person. So I silently wait as she runs my credit card through. Right before I leave, I take off my sunglasses and hand them to her. She takes them uncertainly. If you need a good cry, no one will be able to tell, I say gently, and I start to walk out the store. Rafael. I stop; turn around with a questioning look on my face. Her face is a bit tight, her eyes shadowed, and I want nothing more than to comfort her. Even though shell probably throw a book at me for it later. Nasty little minx. But now shes a sad little minx. Which girl did you buy the necklace for? The best girl ever, I say. My mum. Its her birthday next week. With that, I smile and leave the store.

I make sure I dont let Brads plain blue shirt out of my sight. Okay, maybe Im overreacting hell, this is an annoying girl who Ive waged war with and who throws books at me but that was really cold. Like, okay, he got in trouble, but thats because hes a freaking idiot. And you at least talk to your girl in private. Meaning he pulls her aside, since I refused to budge. And dumping her on the job? Hell no. But what pisses me off the most was the fact that he even hinted that she wasnt, well, at her utmost perfect condition that day. Thats adding insult to the injury. Thats no way to treat ladies or annoying girls who have a good arm and deadly aim when it comes to books. Its just wrong. Im about three steps behind him, and with one hand I reach out to tap his shoulder wile the other one, well, its kinda bunched into a fist. Not that I would use it or anything. Its just, that, I dont like girls getting hurt through blatant misuse. I remember my older sister Danielle, or as I call her, Dani, had totally fallen for a guy and he treated her like total shit. First time I punched someone in the nose. Rafael Montgomery, Ladys protector extraordinaire. Has a nice ring to it, doesnt it? Anyway, so Im all ready to give this Brad guy a littlelecture, when an arm latches over mine and a voice says, Hey, Raffie! I was just going to see a movie with a few of my friends, do you wanna come along? Ack. So much for yelling at Brad. Hes long gone. I sigh. Yeah, sure, Marie. I glance at her friends. Remember I told you about those two girls that Marie always has trailing after her? Yep, them again. Marie introduces them as Jacqueline and Mariah. I personally dub them Pixy and Dixie.

Ill treat, I say. Marie smiles, Dixie gives a vacant smile, and Pixy squeals out loud. Um, ouch, my eardrums? I buy four tickets to go see The Day After Tomorrow. I love all that fantasy/ sci fi stuff. Lord of the Rings was hot. Oh man, and those female elves? Hotness personified. I loved Underworld, though that may have something to do with all those tight outfits the female vampires wore. Okay, a lot to do with that. The movie is really good, and I wouldve enjoyed it more had Marie NOT stopped my circulation a few hundred times by hanging on to my arm. She also kind of leaned towards me during the make out scene. I kind of move away. Subtly, though, so I dont hurt her feelings. I glance at her and she has this slightly confused expression on her face, like, If Im moving towards him, why is the distance between us still the same? Hmmm. The movie ends, and I stand up and stretch as the girls chatter excitedly about the movie. Id already seen it before on the plane (Um, what plane plays THAT type of movie? Are they TRYING to scare the crap out of us?). I say, Well, girls Inject lots of giggles. Im afraid I must be off. Inject disappointed moans and groans. Duty calls. And I sweep off. Exit, and CUT. I finally let my shoulders droop a bit. No offence, but Marie, just, well, shes not my type. Well, okay, any other time she might be, but she seems so false. I dont know, maybe being around a few hundred girls everyday may rub off on me, but lately Im not as desperate to have a girlfriend twentyfour/seven. Its kind of nice; now I get to pick one as slow as I want to. As well as a few minor detours on the way. Hah. Im about to exit the mall (twenty-nine more greetings are sent my way) until I hear a, Raffie, wait a moment! And irregular footsteps come after me. I turn, and Marie is trying to run in her high heels. Bad idea, lady. Yeah? Her face is a bit flushed. I need to ask you a favor, she says nervously, but not here. Can I talk with you at, like ten thirty? Curfews at eleven, I remind her.

She bites her lip. Ill be quick. I cant say no; it would be rude. So I say, Sure. Come by my room at, like nine-thirty or something. I love this schools curfew. She smiles. Yeah, me to. One of myguy friends goes to an all-boys school in another state, and his curfew is like eight Oclock. The horror. Imagine that. Eight Oclock. And, yes, I noticed her hesitation there. Wonder how many boyfriends she has scattered around the wonderful US of A. I feel a pang of sympathy for them, but no kindred pain. No one cheats on Rafael Montgomery. Im not being conceited, I just mean, why would you? Im all you need. Okay. Anyway. I continue on towards home sweet home, the jewelry bag in one hand, the other shielding my eyes. Going back, the suns glare hits me straight on, and my sunglasses are gone. After five minutes, Im considering running top speed for the school, when something is pushed into my hand. I look down and nearly fall to my knees in utter joy. Its a pair of sunglasses. I turn around. Thanks, I say to the guy whos walking behind me. Now hes next to me. Tall not as tall as I am, but still a bit taller than Jessie would be, black hair, green eyes. If I didnt know any better, I would say hes Annes twin? I say, a bit in disbelief. I didnt know she had any siblings. He grins. Yeah. The names Jared. Nice to know Im so very talked about. I laugh. Heres someone I can relate to. My sister used to hate me well, okay, maybe she still thinks Im a spoiled, arrogant guy (weird, huh?) and she wouldnt be caught dead talking about me unless it was in the form of bitching. That makes her sound horrible, doesnt it? Shes actually cool, but we just have our differences. Nope, sorry. I stick my hand out. Rafael Montgomery. Does Anne talk about me? He shakes his head. Actually, the girls have been awful quiet. I think theyre afraid that if their parents find out, theyll make a fuss and have you kicked out. He gives a crooked grin. All the guys are damn jealous of you. Been there, done that. I shrug. Someones gotta do it. Were both quiet for a moment, then we start cracking up like crazy. Dont ask. Male bonding is very peculiar. Weve reached the boys schools entrance, and I stop, lounge against the gates. Guys are walking in and out, a few staring at me.

Jared tucks his hands in his pocket, eyes shaded from the sun by an old, scruffy baseball cap. Got to do homework. Im going to visit Anne tomorrow, so Ill take the sunglasses back then. You need them now. Thanks, I say. I gotta be going, too. See you around? Sure thing. He says affably. If you ever get bored of the chicks, just give me a call or something. He starts to fish in his pocket, but I hold up a hand. Ill get it from Anne. Shes friends with my roommate. His lips purse in a silent whistle. You got a freaking roomie, too? Who? Jessica. Jessica Davidson. He groans in mock agony. Sonofagun. I would kill to be her roommate. Shes got the best ass in the whole school, if you ask me. Catch you later. No one asked you, I mutter under my breath, but Jareds already sauntering up the grounds towards the building, too far away to hear my comment. Hes checked out Jessies ass? Jareds flirted with her? The suns getting to me. I swear it is. Because I could have sworn my sight got a bitmonochromatic for a moment. Green, if you must know. Wow, the sun sure reflects off the grass doesnt it? (Rafael Montgomery, Master of Denial.) o0o0o0o0o0o To My Journal, I had an okay night with Brad; we hung out at the mall, then just wandered around talking. The conversation was slightly awkward at times, but whatever. No ones perfect. But then, he got in trouble (but if I can climb a wall, so should he) so he dumped me the next day. Can anyone say asshole? I mean, Brads kind of timid and everything, and our personalities are pretty different, but, I really, really did not see that coming. To add insult to the injury, he did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF RAFAEL. I expected him to gloat or rub it in my face; instead he left me alone, just like Id hoped he would, and gave me his sunglasses to hide any puffy eyes. Im afraid I used them. Not that Im totally crushed over Brad; but, still. A good cry is healthy.

Have to go now. I have some more file organizing to do, and then Im free to leave this job. Not that its a bad job; it just can get a bit tedious, recording all the sales and newly ordered jewelry here. But it pays well and its easy. So Im not complaining Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Back in my room, I have my shirt off and am only wearing a pair of sweats and thin wife beater. I try to work out at least once a week to help out my excellent metabolism, so I decided today was the day. Ive done about fifty push-ups, lunges, and all that jazz. Im doing crunches right now. One, two, three, four I hear someone come down the hallway in light, rapid steps. Its Jessie. Two hundred and seventy, two seventy one, two seventy two Hey. I would have gotten that far eventually. I gotta impress the girls, right? Jessie comes in, takes one look at me (let me add in here, not a quick glance, but a full body rake), swallows hard, and turns around to leave. Hey! I say. Everything all right? She comes back in hesitantly, closes the door behind her, and falls face first onto the bed closest to the door (mine). Jess? I ask, a bit worried. Do you want me to get Anne or something? I trail off when she shakes her head minutely. She finally turns her head. If possible, she looks even more exhausted than before. Her pretty brown eyes look really sad, and her eyes were slightly red-rimmed. It was my turn to swallow hard. Jess, he was completely wrong and Im real sorry. She just stares at me. After a few seconds, a little sigh escapes her lips. Youd mentioned that he was too weak and not the right type for me, she said bitterly. Are you going to gloat about that? She reaches into a pocket, pulls out my sunglasses, and hands them to me. I look confused. Why would I gloat? Im always right when it comes to relationships.

She grits her teeth together really hard so that her jaw looks mad tense. You jacked up little know-it-all, you really should I get up quickly from the floor, and grab a clean outfit. Ive been paying one of the girls to do my laundry for me. I have no flipping idea how to do it. I really should take a shower. Im kinda sweaty. Just in case she didnt notice. Marie wanted to talk to me. A hint of malice enters her voice. Ah, Marie. Mustnt keep Marie waiting. I wince, but go into the bathroom without saying anything. o0o0o0o0o0o Hey Diary, He has a six pack and its not ripped, but a kind of subtle ripple, but anyone who cant see it is blind Im going to go crazy. I normally dont flip when a guys shirt is bunched up, but his was, and under itWow. Whats next? Hell turn out to be an amazing nice sensitive guy? Problem. Eva admitted today that she likes him. There are two thinks wrong with that. One, Jared, unfortunately, has been crushing on Eva since day one when he asked her out and she told him to get lost. Two well. I guess thats the only reason Im uncomfortable with it. I kinda like Jared. Maybe if she and Rafael get together, Ill have a chance with Jared! Or maybe Rafael is actually dumb enough to meet with Marie. Thats gross. Mr. Perfect, huh? Well se about that. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o About an hour (okay, maybe even more) later, Im sitting in the bathtub, letting the water rain down on me. Its a total stereotype that only girls take forever in the shower. I usually am pretty fast, but when I have the time, I will gladly sit under the hot spray for as long as possible. Im almost drifting off when my cell rings. I reach blindly outside the shower curtain, rummage in my pants pockets, and flick it open. I stick my head out the shower (I dont know if I can get electrocuted or something) and say, Yeah? Raffie!

Theres only one person who can get away with calling me that. I feel a huge smile come across my face. Hey, Mum. How is your boys school going? My father asks. They must be using twoway. Hey Dad! I say. Actually, there was a mistake with the enrollment and Im at the all-girls school thats about a half- or quarter-mile down the road. Its awesome. Thats wonderful, Raffie, my mother says after a slight pause. I hope everything is quite all right. Have you met any nice girls? Yeah, I say. Mostly Ive been hanging out with this girl Anne. Shes really nice, and her twin goes to the boys school. His names Jared. Theres also this girl Eva, and shes on the volleyball team. The coach says I can help with the practices, so I guess thats starting Monday. Thats just wonderful, my father says happily. You were always outstanding in sports. Do you have a nice roommate? My mother questions me. Umsure. What else can I say? Her names Jessie. If my parents noticed the lack of details, they dont say anything. We chat for a while, until my father finally says, It was nice talking to you again, Rafael. We have to go now, because Im taking your mother out to dinner. He sounds really proud, and I feel another grin take over my mouth. My parents are total lovebirds. They fight, of course, but a few hours later theyll be holding hands again and giggling like teenagers. Not that Ive ever giggled. The longest theyve ever been mad at each other was about three days, until my father bought about a million flowers and chocolates and got her to forgive him. Have fun, Dad, mum. I say cheerfully. Ill talk to you later, all right? Sure, they chorus and in total sync hang up on me. I close the cell, and realize there are voices coming from outside the bathroom. Guess Maries here. Im reaching for the clothes I had brought in with me when I here a, Heard your loser boyfriend dumped you. Why dont you get it through your head that guys really arent all that interested in you?

Jessie says, a bit quietly, Marie, I really dont want to talk to you right now. Can your ego handle that? Not the hurt kind of quiet. The Im-gonna-slap-you kind of quiet. Uh-oh. Time for some quality male intervention before Marie gets jumped. So I drop the clothes, and grab my towel off the rack. I wrap it around my waist and open the door. Both girls mouths fall open a bit when they register me wearing nothing more than said towel. Which is a pretty small one at that. I smile at Marie. Ill be right there, okay? Why dont you go into the hall and wait there for me. Uh-huh, she says, looking a bit dazed, and walks out the door. Well, okay, she kinda walked into the door at first, but on the second try she got it right. Jessie levels a glare at me. I can handle her. I know, I say. But I would feel guilty if Maries nose was broken and I hadnt done anything to stop you. Even if she asked for it, I add over my shoulder, and am rewarded with a furious scowl. I really cant do anything right, can I? I yank on my clothes, pull on socks (the school is clean enough to walk around wearing only socks, its really liberating) and am about to run out the door when Jessie says innocently, Heres your watch, and we wouldnt want you to miss curfew and be expelled, now would we? I stare hard at the watch that shes thrown to me. As I see no bomb, I only put it on with a bit of caution. Nothing explodes, so I think everythings all right. I look closer. Okay. Maybe Im just being paranoid here, but Raffie! Maries voice calls out petulantly from outside the room. Maries leaning against the wall. Yeah? I ask. Lets go down into the lounge, she says with a smile. Sorry Im late. No prob. Is it just me, or is it getting a bit cozier and cozier? Time to search for escape routes. Cant we just talk here I take one look at her pouty lip and give in. Okay, but I really need to be back in my room before curfew. Hell no am I getting expelled from here. Its like Eden, and Im NOT eating ANY apples at all. We head down to the basement. The lounge is a pretty cool place, with sofas all over the place, a few wide screened televisions, a huge refrigerator

stocked with stuff along with like five vending machines. Its totally awesome. We sit on one of the couches, and Marie instantly launches into small talk. Ive perfected the art of responding to small talk when not even listening, so my mouth gives off automatic uh-huhs, yeahs, mmms, and an occasional chuckle. My eyes are busy staring at the nearby television, where some girls are watching one of the seasons of Sex and the City. Did I ever mention that I like that show? I think its the sixth season, because all the girls are giggling like crazy when that guy escorts Samantha up the red carpet after both of them have shaved their heads. Totally forget his name, and Im not even sure if it is the sixth season. But whatever. If you watch the show, youll know what I mean, and if not, well, thats your problem. The girls have left and its really quiet. I check my watch. Its about ten thirty. Raffie? Marie asks, concerned. Dont you want to head upstairs? I smile. I can hang around for another twenty minutes or so. So what is it you need to ask me? She takes a deep breath. Well, you see, theres this guy and off she goes again. That first sentence was the condensed version of the nervous blabbing she did, till she finally said, Well theresthidguythatIwanttoasktothedancethatsnextweekSaturdayandIwantedto knowifyoucouldaskmeoutinfrontofhimsoIcanIdontknowturnyoudownandsayth atIwantedtogooutwithanotherguysohellgetjealousorsomething. She sucks in a lungful of air while I stare at her. What? It takes her a minute to get enough oxygen in her deprived body. Can you ask me out to next weeks dance so I can get this guy jealous so hell ask me out? Either I can say no and retain my loyalty to the stronger sex or say yes and show my kindness to the fairer sex. After a short moral struggle, I say, Sure. Cant do any harm, can it? She smiles, throws her arms around me. Thank you so much! You really should go now, she says, a bit nervous. Its almost midnight. What? I say. No. I show her my watch. Its ten-fifty. She shows me her watch. Eleven fifty.

I dive into my pockets, look at my cell phone. Sure enough.Crap-fuckdamn-shit. My watch is an hour slow. It hadnt been yesterday. I didnt change it About a second later, I remember Jessicas innocent expression as she gives me my watch with that sweet little warning not to be late or Ill beexpelled. Oh, shit! I say, panicking. Im going to kill Jessie! She is so dead. Shes pounded meat. Im going to hang her upside down out the window till shes apologized five million times at the top of her lungs in front of the whole school, which Ill have sitting outside the window with a bunch of videotapes and cameras. How can this get any worse? Okay, people. Let me explain something to you. Whatever divine being you believe in is very old. Thus theyll get bored once in a while, and decide to fuck up some mortals life for the entertainment of watching them squirm. So if you ever think that something cant go worse. Itll get worse. BecauseSure enough Whos there? A familiar voice calls out. Its the same voice thats over the intercoms, in classrooms occasionally, and sometimes yells in the hallways. Uh-huh. Ms. Healthgot.Shit! I hiss under my breath. I glance around frantically, but alas, theres no other door and no window because this IS the basement, after all. Im in a cul-de-sac, with Marie at my back and expulsion in front of me. The many sofas are too low to hide under, and too small and squat to hide properly behind. So, the only thing I can think of doing as the lounges door handle twists, is to (just like I did with Jessie) hide behind the door. I motion for Marie to be quiet and not give me away. Usually, Id try to save her ass, too, but all shell get is detention. Ill get the eviction notice. The door swings open a minute later, and I bite my cheek hard when the door almost slams into me. What on Earth is going on? Its after curfew, Ms. Healthgot says sternly. Marie hadnt moved from where she had frozen on the couch. I hear a few footsteps as the headmistress moves further into the room, and I slowly start to slide away out from behind the door. Freedom is so close, yet so far a mere three feet but I cannot look because Im to busy watching the back of the figure that is standing barely two feet in front of me.

If she sees me in the periphery of her vision, Im screwed. Maries telling her that she was on her cell phone, and shed put it on loudspeaker. Now, as long as Marie doesnt look at me, Im fine, because I need only like three seconds to escapeMarie, dont look at me. I never learn, do I? Marie looks at me. I dont even hesitate as I make a wild break for the hallway and dash up the stairs as fast as I can (track star in fifth grade) but trying to keep my footsteps light. Because if she hears heavy footsteps, shell think more weight. And, of course, shell then think of me. Because honestly, who else would be sneaking around with Marie? And at midnight, no less? Just wait till I get my hands on Jessie I burst into the second floor corridor, tear down to my room, open the door and spin around once Im inside to ease it shut. My back is to the room, so I have no idea if Jessies there, but the lights are on so I know shes awake. Slowly, I turn around and meet Jessies VERY nervous glance head on. Shes on the bed, typing away on her laptop. Or, at least, she was. Now shes biting her lip. I know from experience that when I am at my angriest, I get this freaky grin on my face. Im not smiling, but I do know Im in serious scary/sexy mode. My hair is a bit disheveled from the run, Im breathing hard, Im sweating, and I probably have this really furious stare. I should have a furious stare. Cause thats how I feel. We both stare at each other as I pull off my watch and throw it as hard as I can against the wall. She flinches. What, - (gasp, gasp) have I ever (pant to get oxygen into my deprived lungs) done to you? She stares at me, and her face is the oddest combination of anger and shame. After a few seconds, all the defiance is gone and she looks like a little girl who got caught with her hand in the cookie job. She actually feels guilty! About damn time. But her attack of conscience is too late. Because a moment later, I hear a sharp rap on the door. Ms. Davidson, Mr. Montgomery, open the door this instant. I throw God an agonized prayer while Jessie throws me an agonized look. A moment later, I can practically see a light bulb go on next to her head. Grabbing me by the shoulder, she shoves me into the bathroom, motions for me to be quiet, and closes the door on my dismayed face. A moment later, I hear the front door open and murmured conversation.

Did I ever mention how pretty the bathroom was? The towels are so nice and fluffy, the soap looks so perfectly round, the floors, walls, and ceiling an impeccable white, the mirror is shining, and please dont let me get expelled! I sit on the toilet, put my head between my knees and will away the panic attack. I focus on the floor tiles. Theyre small and pretty. Did I mention how perfect they are? I glance up when the door opens. Jessie sticks her head in. Ms. Healthgot wants to ask you something, she says, her face as guarded as her voice. I get up (I feel like Im walking to my execution; its not pleasant) and step out the bathroom. Ms. Healthgot has this exasperated expression on her face, but when she sees me sweaty and still slightly out of breath, her face gets this considering look. Were you listening at the door? Jessie had moved so she was out of Ms. Healthgots line of vision, and she nods. I nod, too. Is it true? She demands. Jessie nods, the mouths the word, blush. I call up on my drama lessons, make my cheeks redden, and say, Yes, Im afraid so. Im sorry. While Jessie nods in approval, Ms. Healthgot shakes her head. Young men these days, she grumbles in annoyance. In my day Ms. Davidson, if you ever have any problems, Im sure something can be arranged. Jessie says sweetly, Oh, its no problem, Ms. Healthgot. I have a stepbrother at home whos just like that. She then says her good-byes and closes the door firmly behind her. She turns around and meets me stare for stare. After a moment, I question, What did you tell her? She gives an odd shrug and doesnt meet my eyes when she admits, I said you hadnt left the room because you were busy getting off. Oh my God. But all I do is nod stiffly, pull off my pants, and flop into bed. Im way to traumatized to do any work. But who cares. Its Saturday. Well, okay, maybe its Sunday morning. The point is, I have more than twenty-four hours to do my homework. Or get someone else to do it for me.

Jessie crawls into bed a moment later, turns off the light. Neither of us has spoken yet. Finally she ventures tentatively, Look. I Im sorry. Im too busy sulking to say anything. She sighs. Rafe, I just I have a problem with guys like you. Youve mentioned that, I mope. Maybe I havent really given you the benefit of the doubt, she acknowledges reluctantly. No fucking shit, Sherlock, I mumble, and turn my back to her so I face the wall. A moment later, my bed dips as Damn! she sits on my bed next to me. And -shes going for a world record here she lays a hand on my shoulder. Im really sorry, she comes clean. Truce? I roll over. She starts to get up in surprise but I grab her thigh to keep her put. You know what the problem is? I say. We dont know two shits about each other. I dont know you, you dont know me, and thats why we havent been able to do anything than annoy each other. I can see her scowl in the dark shadows. What, you want to play twenty questions? Fine, I say. Every evening, we ask each other one question that the other person has to ask honestly. She ponders this. Weird. But okay. What if its too personal? You can pass, but you have to do the other person a favor or something. She thinks about if for so long I think shes going to back out. Okay. I let out a quiet breath of air. Go first. She tilts her head to the side. Did you really get that necklace for your mom? By the way, youre still holding onto my leg. I grin. Obsessive, arent we? Yes, the necklace is really for my mum. I swear. Its her birthday on Friday, and she loves jewelry.

Shell like it, Jessie says honestly. She hasnt said anything about me not letting go of her leg. Im not going to anytime soon. Im really comfortable right now. Why would I move? Exactly. I wont. So, she says, shifting to get more comfortable. She gets more comfortable, and my hand stays where it has been for the past couple of minutes. Your turn. Wow. Yes, it is. Now what should I ask? There are so many things. Like, Why do you hate me? or, Tell me more about yourself, or, Is that tan of yours everywhere? But I can ask those later. So instead I say, Tell me about Jared. She shoots me a startled look. Jared? I nod. Yeah. I met him this afternoon on the way back. HE saved me from going blind, I silently add. Well, then, she tilts her head, like a little robin. She does that when she thinks, I realize. Just like when shes nervous, she bites her lip. Jared is Annes younger brother by about three minutes. Hes on the soccer team, and hes really popular. Drop-dead gorgeous, she adds absently, then flushes. Guess you didnt need to know that. I hide the snarl, but I think she still gets the idea that no, I didnt. Hes coming over tomorrow, she adds. Good, good. Time to have a little chat, and Marie better not interfere this time, even unintentionally. The world around me goes dark when Jessie reaches for the wall and flicks off the light. Bedtime, she says. Her voice is husky. Or am I imagining it? No, Im not! I swear! I reach for her, then curse. Shes not there. Whats wrong? her disembodied voice floats across to me from the other side of the room. Damn, she moved quietly. I hadnt even fully registered that shed gotten off the bed. Nothing, I say, clenching my hand into a fist. Good night, Jessie. Good night, Rafe, she says sleepily.

I dont sleep for a while. Drop-dead gorgeous, Jessie had said with a pretty little blush. You know, I think the grass outside is reflecting somehow into the room, because Im detecting that shade of green again. 0o0o0o0o0 I told you, Im an early riser. So I wake up the next morning, and lay in bed examining the ceiling before I decide to take a shower. I want to wash my hair. I slip out of bed, but trip over the sea of crap I have lying around my side of the room, and even my amazing ability to suffer silently cannot withhold the yelp of pain. Jessie stirs, and I stop cursing under my breath to just look at her. She has a habit of kicking the covers away, and then kicking off her socks. Its adorable. Her hair is loose and waves around her serene face, and her hand is curled limply on the pillow next to her head. One sock is halfway on, and the other is lying on the floor. She was slowly starting to wake up, and I sigh. Better grab the shower before she does. I go in, strip, and hop in, making the water as hot as possible. Cold showers dont cut it for me. I soap, scrub, reach for the shampoo bottle and flick the cap open. Ive mentioned that I have a sister, Danielle. In eighth grade, she wanted to shave, but my parents wouldnt let her do it until high school. So she tried to use one of those at-home waxing kits. To make a long story short, lets just say that I sometimes feel like the screams are still echoing around in my brain. After that, she wouldnt go near anything with wax, even if a professional did it. So she turned to Nair, and has been using it ever since. Thus, I know what Nair smells like. Which is why I know that someone has put it into my shampoo. Jessie, of course, is the only culprit. Im to damn lovable for anyone else to have done it. But has she broken the truce already? I mean, it hasnt even been in effect for twelve freaking hours. Besides, she has not had time. I would have woken up if shed gotten up in the middle of the night. So the only possible explanation is that shes done it before, and had forgotten to tell me about it. So now I get to test her; shes going to wake up soon. And since she is an incredibly intelligent person (despite the fact she

holds a grudge against ME of all people), shell put shower and shampoo together. The question is, will she stop me? I stand in the shower, bottle in hand, thinking, Come on, Jessie, dont disappoint me now She didnt. About five seconds later, a loud, Shit! echoes around the room, and the bathroom door slams open. A split second later, she whips the shower curtain open and grabs the bottle away from my hand. Oh, crap! She gasps out. I put Nair in that! Please dont tell me you used any! Shes reaching for my hair as if to make sure I hadnt when her hand freezes and draws back slowly. Apparently the fact that Im smirking has registered. As I watch, her gaze drops down my body lowerand lowerand lower God, she whimpers weakly, and shuts her eyes tight. Yeah, I guess I kinda look like one, right? She looks so cute, sleepy eyes (they had been before shed closed them) on a face that, besides holding a battle of shock, embarrassment, and terror, has a pillow crease. I, ah, have to go now, she stammers, and jerks the shower curtain closed. Im about to let her leave. Well, okay. Two things first. I stick my head out again. Jessie? She mumbles something incoherent. Are there any more little surprises or booby traps that I should know about? I ask. No. She once again heads for the door. Oh, and Jessie? She scowls in my general direction. We have yet to make eye contact after her eyes made contact with things below, if you get my drift. Good morning, I give her my most seductive smiles. I guess it works, because she walked into the doorjamb before finally escaping my evil realm of undeniable sexiness. 0o0o0o0o0

Hey, journal, In my last entry, I forgot to mention a tiny little detail about what happened when we were having a slightly stilted conversation about what Rafael was all Mr. Know-it-all afterwards, and he seriously ticked me off. So I put Nair into his shampoo, changed the time on his watch. He almost got busted by Ms. Healthgot, but I covered for him, using the story that he was far to busy jerking off in the bathroom to be breaking curfew. Ingenious, huh? I covered because I felt guilty. I know hes so much different, but Rafael reminds me so much of HIM that I cant help but loathe it. So that makes me a shallow person. Bite me. Eva says that by avoiding good looking guys Im being weak and Im letting him win. Its scary, sometimes. I like to consider myself a strong person, but if I am, why am I so damn cold to Rafael? The next morning, I heard Rafael in the shower, and I flipped because Id forgotten that Id put Nair into his shampoo. So I ran into the bathroom and was about to knock the shampoo out of his hand when I kind of registered the fact that, well, to state the obvious, Rafael does not wear anything in the shower. And while I thought he could not look any hotter than he did in those shorts and black top that he was wearing yesterday (I noticed in a not-as-detached-way as I would have liked to), I have discovered that Rafael does not look his best in clothes, but out of them. Hmmm. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me? Probably just me. Haha. But, may I add, I did NOT look lower than his (awesomely muscled) stomach. Well, okay, maybe I did, but not THAT much lower, if you get what I mean. I SWEAR!! I dont know whether to bitch-slap myself about the selfcontrol, or if I should pat myself on the back. I guess Ill pat myself on the back, because Evall do the bitch-slapping. Because she kinda likes Rafael. She was really pissed when she found out Id almost gotten Rafael expelled. This weeks a bit hectic. I have after-school activities, and then the party on Saturday. You know what? I was going to ask Jared to go with me. So thats forward. So what. So I called him Sunday evening, while Rafael was taking a shower (again), and Jared turned me down. Like, he was really nice about it, said he normally would have already snapped me up (!!Jared is so adorable!!), but he said he couldnt. Right before he hung up, he said his windpipe couldnt handle any more.

What does that have to do with anything? I would have thought his excuse would have something to do with Eva. Guys are so confusing. I swear. So now Im dateless. Crap. I wanted a new type of guy, you know, slightly more egotistical than Brad (like Jared), but hes already taken, apparently. Shit and double shit. Well, whatever. That means I can dance with whomever I want and I dont have to worry about any dates. So, Ill write when I can. Jessie Ps. And of course, I flipped when he called me babe. I sometimes really hate myself. I really doubt Rafes like that, but I didnt know with him, now did I? And look what he did to me. Crap. Ill apologize before Assembly, as its right now one in the morning. 0o0o0o0o0 Oh! Jessie squeals. Jessie, squealing? I twist in my chair from where Id been sitting procrastinating about math homework by coming up with ways to surprise Jessie when SHES taking a shower. Whos bothering us now? Jessie and I had been sitting for and whole hour, and there have been no lewd suggestions from me or books from her. Jared and Anne have just walked in, both grinning. Jessie catapults herself at Jared, and he catches her, laughing, arms going around her to support her weight. As I watch, narrow-eyed, his hand slips a bit lower and Oh shit! Call the police! Call the FBI! Jared just grabbed Jessies ass! And what does Jessie do? Nada. Jared looks over at me, and raises his eyebrows at my stony glare. He carefully sets her down. Then I smile, stand. Whats up? Nothing, Jared says coolly. You? Same, I say with a wry twist of my lips.

Same, Jessie mimicked under her breath, and she and Anne snickered behind their hands. Jareds and my gaze collided over their heads, and we shared a look of mutual exasperation. Chicks. They dont understand us, and most of the time we dont even bother pretending that we get the. So, no one understands anyone, and we all wallow in the confusion that comes from that. About an hour, were all sprawled over the beds, Anne, Jared, and Jessie on one, me and Eva on the other. Its pretty damn crowded over there, but because Anne is sitting between Jared and Jessie, its all right. Eva came in around halfway, having finished homework that Jessie had managed to do perfectly (and when the hell did she do it? I never see her working) and Ive procrastinated about perfectly. Jared and me were swapping some harrowing tales about or past forbidden loves. At first, the girls were offended, but after a while, they caved and just enjoyed themselves. So, Jared said. There was this one chick I was really into, so one night I tried to climb up to her second story window to her room. I made it, but I dont think I realized how much noise I was making, Everyone laughed. Jessie had this rapt expression on her face. And it was all for Jared, damn him. I bet I could get an even more rapt expression on her face. Just give me a minute of privacy Jared had gone on, so I pushed aside the (wonderful) thoughts of, ah, winning over Jessie and listened. So. I tried like three times, but because the house was newly built, there werent many footholds or anything. It took like a whole damn thirty minutes. I finally get into her room, and the light switches were turned on. Parents? Eva said with false sympathy. Ouch. Caustic little remark right there. Evas easygoing, a bit on the cool side, but nowhere as bitchy as that one word sounded. I glanced at the others faces and saw I wasnt the only one surprised. Police, Jared corrected, unfazed. Theyd though someone was breaking in. When the laugher dies down, I grin at Jared. Wall climbing, I muse. Well, once upon a time, there lived a super hot girl whose parents did not want me near their precious daughter. Jared hisses in sympathy while Jessie muttered, Smart parents.

I ignore Jessie. She lived near my country house, and since I was only going to be there for a few days, I had to make the best of it in the time we had. And oh, man, did we. Anyway, her room was on the third floor, but it was an old house. Her mum was always into gardening, so she had this monster ivy all over the back of the house, so I used that to climb into her room. Good one, Jared says admiringly. Of course it was. Her mum was currently working on some rose bushes, and they were directly below the girls window. So I had to be careful climbing up. One night, I went to her room at around eleven. So I, ah, hung out with her for an hour or two, until I decided that I really had to go. So Im climbing down that ivy when, around the second floor, I look down and see her parents admiring the roses directly beneath me, because there was some sort of garden competition. If they looked up, I was screwed. Eva started laughing; it was obvious that shed guessed what had happened next. I continued, So I tried to climb back up, but the ivy suddenly gave way. Everyone stared at me in shock. I smirked. Her mum fainted, and I still have the scars on my back from where I landed in the damn roses. Jessie laughed so hard she rolled off the bed. Jared tried to catch her, but he wasnt quick enough. She landed with a thump. I dont know if she was laughing with me or at me, but whatever. After a while, Eva checked her watch and said that she had to go. Ill walk with you, I said at the same time that Jared stood and said, Yeah, I gotta be going, too. Then he adds, So Ill walk with you guys. Fine. I need to have a little talk with him anyway. I stood there while he hugged his sister, gave Jessie a kiss (on the lips!!), and opened the door for Eva. I follow, sulking. He didnt have to kiss Jessie on the lips. He could have shaken her hand or something. Thank God there was no tongue or I think I might have I make an angry noise. Eva glances behind her to where Jared and me are following her. Something wrong? She asks me nicely. Ahnothing, I lie. Just remembered some homework I have to do for tomorrow. She gives me a disbelieving look. Never seemed to bother you before.

True. We reach her door, and she opens it, walks inside. Nice being with you, she announces, then promptly closes the door in our faces, cutting off us staring at Eva and Evas roommate staring at us with a bit of drool collecting in the side of her mouth. I have to Jared starts to say, when I cut in with a pleasant voice. Saw you grab Jessies ass when you greeted her, I remarked genially. He gave a crooked grin that Im beginning to think was his trademark. Yeah, but, what an ass, he says, admiration in his tone. Wish I could get my hands on her He stopped speaking, because its a bit hard to talk when youre being pinned to the wall by two hundred plus pounds of muscle with an elbow shoved into your windpipe. I make my decision in a split second. Shes mine, I hiss, furious. Why does everyone look surprised? Oh, please. Jessie and me have pheromones made for each other. I knew that ever since I brushed her arm in Physics. I just hadnt wanted to act on it, because, honestly, my pheromones work with all girls. But now doesnt the fact that Ive wanted to be around her give away the fact that I have the hots for her? Well, I do. And Im not going to ignore them now. Jareds about to say something, when Evas door creaks open again. She walks out, a textbook under one arm, and halts when she sees me pinning Jared to the wall, both of our faces the picture of innocence as we gaze back at her. Guys, she says in disgust, and walks on. I watch Jared as his gaze follows her swaying hips with a kind of longing in his eyes. I start to laugh as I ease back, take a step away. So thats how it goes? He sighs. Yeah. Jessies cool, dont get me wrong, but its Eva for me. Always has been, always will be. He scowls. Figures a hot guy like me would have to fall for the Ice Queen herself. I shrug. I though that about Jessie, too. He holds out his hand. Were cool then? Ill help you, you help me. Deal? I grip his hand for a moment. Shes going to the dance. Doesnt have a date, wants to go solo. So if she tries to blow you off by saying shes meeting someone, shes lying.

Thanks. Jessie tends to dislike any attractive guy except for me. Dunno why. Thanks, I didnt notice that, I say sarcastically, but the tone went over his head as he walked off to the stairs to head back to his own school. And thus the road is clear of any guys in my way. Lifes beautiful, isnt it? 0o0o0o0o0 Jessies sprawled on the bed. Not mine, unfortunately, but her own. Which Im not on. Shes got these PJs with little babies all over them. When I asked what they are, she looked really horrified and swore she would make me sit through one episode of Rugrats by the time we graduated. You go first, she says. Hell yeah. And I know exactly what Im going to ask. Are you over Brad? I ask bluntly. She flushes a bit, but answers. Yeah. It was nice while it lasted, but obviously, it was just wrong. Time to move on. Her head tilts to the side, like thinking of whom she might move on for, and a little smile graces her face. Are you into Jared? I ask jealously. That jealously wasnt helped when she turned a bright, bright red. I dont have to answer that, she says stiffly. I answered my question of the evening. She starts nibbling on her lip. Now what should I ask you? She muses to herself. She has a nice mouth. And the way shes sinking her teeth into it makes me want to join in. First, I would bite along her lower lip and lick once or twice to take away any sting. Then I would suck on it a bit, especially if she has a bit of that peach lip-gloss on. Then I would The lips moved. Rafe! she says, annoyed. Uh? What on earth are you going to do next week? Shes got a super evil smile on her face. I suddenly dont want to know what is happening next week. Going to class, I say warily.

She shakes her head. Next week its around the end of September. When I just stare at her blankly, she says, Thats when the majority of the girls get their period and become a huge wild crowd of man-haters. The color drains from my face. Oh, my God. The change. That time. The female mutation from good to evil. Im going to die. Jessie? I say, my voice a bit panicked. That isnt funny. Shes still grinning. Not all of them are bad. Then she hesitates, cocks her head to the side. Um. Well, some people arent that bad. I abandon all dignity. Youre not like that? I say desperately. Youll protect me, right? I get off the bed, dash to her side, and kneel. O powerful Jessie, do not abandon this mere mortal I can just see myself running through the halls, chased by hordes of girls with twisted faces carrying pitchforks and tampons screaming: See how you like it! Jessies laughing. Im just playing, She said, grinning. Before I relax, she adds, Only about three-fourths are like that. Get off your knees, she says, hitting me with her pillow. I grab the pillow and try to hit her back, but she catches it. Let go, I growl. Shes grinning. Hell, no. Wouldnt want to hurt your ego by kicking your ass in a pillow fight. I suck in my breath; stand up so Im towering over her. Excuse me? You cant beat me. She stands as well, and due to the fact that shes standing on the bed, shes now taller than me. I dont care, I say. On even ground youre a munchkin. She yelps, tries to hit me with the pillow, but Im still holding onto it. I am not a munchkin! When all I do is grin foolishly up at her, she sighs. Youre a nutcase. I smirk. And you love me all the more for it, babe. I reach out to grab her wrist to get her to let go of the pillow. Oh, crap. I just did the two things that piss her off the most. She flinches, then says coolly, I think you should go to bed, Montgomery. We have Assembly tomorrow at nine instead of first and second period. Its really tempting to lash out at her the way she just closed me out. Crap, what was wrong about me calling her babe and mentioning the fact that she just might be attracted to me? (Of course she is.) But then I see her hands

are clutching the pillow both of us have yet to let go, and her knuckles are white. So I grit my teeth, let go of the pillow. Good night, I say quietly, and head to the bathroom to change into my normal nightwear of shorts and wife beater. When I come back, Jessies eyes are closed but her face is anything but relaxed. And for one second, I could have sworn I saw something small and shiny in the corner of her eye, but she blinks once and its gone. I watch Jessie sleep. I really dont want to wake her up, because I heard her turning and tossing last night. At one point, I could have sworn I heard her crying, but when I went to her, she seemed to be fast asleep. Id just stared at her for a long while, but she didnt move a muscle. I glance at my watch (and yes it has the right time now, despite Jessies manipulations and my throwing it against the wall.) If she wants to make it to breakfast before Assembly, then she has to wake up now. So that means I have to wake her up. I eye the door. No, slamming it around would be petty. I eye the alarm clock. Too rude. Well, then, you see I have no choice? I sit on the bed next to her and lay a hand in her shoulder. Jessie, I hiss. No response. I hesitate, then gently run my fingers through her hair. Damn. Its all soft and thick and beautiful. It had worked free of her hair tie, and was spread all over her pillow. Jessie? I query. You have to get up now. I was speaking kinda softly, but she blearily opens her eyes. Mmff, she murmurs. Thats nice, and promptly falls a sleep. Okay, so much for waking her up by playing with her hair. So Im busy debating on whether to just pick her up out of bed and dump her in the bathroom, or kiss her awake (hey, it worked for Sleeping Beauty, didnt it? Those stories always have morals) when she groans and rolls over. Off the bed. So I catch her jeez, shes freaking heavy, let me tell you, all that damn muscle and she gasps and grabs onto my neck. Glugh, I gurgle. She instantly lessens her hold. Put me down, she demands, all at once surprisingly perky. Figures. Jeez, Montgomery, keep your hands to yourself! I set her down gently on her feet, resisting the urge to just drop her on her head to knock some common sense into her. You fell off the bed, I said. Why were you by my bed? She says, suspiciously.

Calm down, I snap back, annoyed. I didnt do anything. Yet. I just wanted to wake you up, because you really dont have a lot of time to shower, eat breakfast, and get to Assembly on time, I continued. Looking at the clock, I amended, Well, you have time to shower. Crap, she yelps, and dives for the bathroom. I follow her in, effectively halting her process of struggling out of her baggy shirt. Did you sleep okay last night? She stares at me, frozen. Yeah, she says after a moment. We both know shes lying. What did I do wrong? I ask. She hesitates, then sighs. Nothing, she admitted. Look, its my problem. But Im the one getting kicked around, I point out. Im sorry, she grits out, none to gracefully. If you ask me, shes not used to apologizing. Just dont just leave me alone. If shed said it spitefully, I would have gladly started fighting till she finally just screamed out what she held against me, but she said it with this forlorn little catch in her voice I doubt she was aware of. There is no way Ill leave her alone. Im going to figure out what her problem is or break my heart trying. Considering my heart is pretty unbreakable, Ive got nothing to lose, do I? Do you want me to get some breakfast for you? I say. She just stares at me, then thunks her head against the wall. Ouch. Why are you so damn nice to me? she says, almost angrily. Why cant you just be the normal, big-headed, small-brained pretty boy you usually pretend to be? Ouch again. I address the first part of that delightful little speech. Because, for some reason, despite the prickliness, I like you, I say, and leave the room. Ill get breakfast! I call over my shoulder, and jog out the room and down the stairs. I reach the floor where the cafeteria is, and run into Eva. Hard. Oomph! she says, and staggers back. I grab her around the waist.

Shit! Im sorry! I say frantically. Are you all right? Jareds going to kill me if shes hurt. Sound too drastic? Well, if someone hurt Jessie, hed be sporting a few significant bruises by the end of the day. And Jared and me are frighteningly alike. Eva? Shes smiling. Im fine, just surprised. Where are you going in such a hurry? Cafeteria, I tell her, and let go of her. She looked surprised. Ive never seen you eat breakfast before. I shake my head. Never could eat in the mornings. I make up for it in the afternoon, I add, grinning, and Eva laughs because its legendary how much I eat at lunch. Though lately Ive been asking people to get more food so I can eat some because, although Im not being starved anymore, Betty the lunch lady is still being stingier than usual about the food. Though the flowers I sent did help a bit. Actually, Jessie woke up a bit late, and I was getting some breakfast for her. A small shadow flits across Evas face, but she says, Let me go with you. I know what Jessie eats every morning. So, arm in arm, we walk into the cafeteria, and Im a little horrified by what I see. Theres a huge crowd of exhausted girls slowly spooning food into their mouths. Oh my God, I say. Is everyone sick? She shoots me an arch look. Its Monday morning. She says. All the morning people are bouncing around the hallways, running into people. All the tired people are here, eating breakfast. They look like zombies. Dont they? Amazingly so. I will never eat breakfast here. I go up to the counter, and lo behold! Good morning, Betty, I say. Ignoring her steely stare, I continue, Jessie wasnt feeling that well last night, and shes running late. I was just going to pick up some breakfast I trail off when Betty dumps a steaming roll and a few wrapped pieces of butter onto a tray and hands it over to me. Thats all she eats? I say, shocked. Athletes, Betty sniffs. She also usually has a yogurt smoothie, she exclaims, and reaches under the counter for one. I look at the small bottle. Can you give her another one? I ask. One per student, Betty says sullenly, But because you dont eat yours and that girl is a precious angel, Ill give her yours.

Precious angel. Okaydont get me wrong, I obviously like Jessie for some insane reason, but even I wouldnt go that far. I head up with Eva to Jessies room. Weve got about ten minutes till Assembly starts. I knock on the door. Are you decent? Yeah, comes the answer (oh, well, better luck next time!), and I open the door. Shes sitting on the bed, a towel around her hair, her skin flushed from the hot shower, her usual outfit of jeans and a t-shirt (clinging) on her. The whole room smells likeHerbal Essences. Yum. I set the tray on the bed next to her. Two yogurts? she asks. Hey, Eva, she adds when Eva follows me into the room and sits down on my bed. Eva smiles back. You need it, I say. What sport do you do? Soccer, Jessie says around a mouthful of bread. Just like Jared. Eva rolls her eyes. A lesser man would feel discouraged by this. In a disturbingly short amount of time, the bread and one of the yogurts are gone, and shes riffling through her bag. Okay. No first and second period, she observes, pulling out the slim binders she has for both classes. Bye-bye history and Physics. I still have um Calculus, and English. Ive memorized her schedule. Shes got history (with me!), Physics AP, AP Calculus, AP English, a free period (remember when I cut art and caught her in the shower?), lunch (with me, and shes going to start GOING to lunch, according to Eva), Drama (scary, if you ask me, Jessie and drama lessons?) then free after that. Senior year rocks. All those free periods My schedule is a bit more crowded, but its cool. History, Physics, Creative Writing (yeah, dont ask), math, art, lunch, Shakespeare (were still on Romeo and Juliet), gym, and then free periods. I told you I didnt have to make up any classes. I passed them all by the skin of my teeth. And, because that gym teacher wont let me participate in gym, Im going to help with the girls volleyball teamthat startstoday. Fun and games, isnt it? Jeez, Rafe, you know my schedule better than I do. Dont go stalker on me. It would be freaky if you knew where I had my math class. Jessie said, sounding a bit put out. Of course I dont know where her math class is. But just in case you really want to know, its in room 439.

She gulps down the last of the smoothie, tosses the empty bottle in the trash. Wheres your bag? She asks Eva. In my room, she says. So the three of us run to Evas room in which her little roommate stared helplessly at me again and dashed outside. You see, the school has one main large building, with the classrooms, the main library, and the dining room. However, I dont believe I mentioned that behind it are a series of smaller buildings. I did mention the sports fields, right? Probably. As there is no way a thousand-odd students could all be housed in an eightstory building. Indeed, they could fit the classes, but stillthere were three long buildings behind, not more than three stories high, which was where the majority of the students lived. The auditorium was there as well. We get there about two seconds before a janitor closed the door. He scowls at us. Eva and I stare back, while Jessie glares at the man heatedly before snatching three seats at the end of the very back row. I smile at Eva. Ladies first. She smiles at me, sits down. Jessies about to follow suit when I slip in before her. She scowls at me, but reluctantly sits on the edge. I sigh contentedly. This is what life was all about. Hot chicks all around you I lay my arms on the backs of both of their seats. Eva leans into me, but Jessie sits ramrod straight. Pull the stick outta your ass, I hiss, annoyed. Get your arm off my chair, she hisses right back. Im about to say something back, but the lights go off, and the stage lights up, and theres Ms. Healthgot beaming at us. Good morning, she chirps. As most people find that phrase an oxymoron so ridiculous that it was unworthy of any attention, only a few freshmen respond with a limp, Gmorning. Nice to see my students are so fresh and lively on a Monday morning, Ms. Healthgot said dryly. Actually, this is a rather delayed assembly about a recent surprise addition to the once totally-female population of this school. Itll be short, I promise, but no complaining, because you all got an extra hour of sleep. Now, Approximately a thousand pairs of eyes turn my way. I take advantage of the spotlight to curl my fingers around the end of Jessies ponytail. She stiff-

ens even more if such a thing was possible but cant do much as it would seem very strange. Jessies not the sort of person to jump up screaming in the middle of Assembly. As I am sure every single person in this school is aware of who Rafael is, why hes here, when his birthday is, and what his older sisters exboyfriends cousins best friends aunt is named, I will cut to the chase. I must address a few things if Rafael is to stay here. First off, I have been very lenient on not having a dress code. However, if the length of girls skirts, dresses, and pants continues to decrease exponentially, I will not hesitate to set up a dress code in which more than five inches of leg is covered. Snickers rise up, and quite a few girls squirm uncomfortably in their seats. Ah, well, it was nice while it lasted Secondly, it is rude and disruptive to Mr. Montgomerys privacy to have his cell phone number on the front page of this schools website. It has been taken down. No worries. I got a new cell phone a few weeks ago. You see, I have to get a new cell phone every year or so because after a while, girls start calling me obsessively, and the amount of text messages I get rack up ridiculous costs. I used to just get a new number, but why not get some of the latest cellular models while Im at it? Oh, and if youre wondering, Ive worked my way up like half of Jessies ponytail, and am twining my fingers through it. I have a rubber band around my wrist and shes trying to snap it, but every time she reaches for it, I pull her hair a bit. Ouch. She just stamped on my foot. Last but not least, I am delightfully surprised that the girls at this school can keep a secret so well, something I believed impossible. No one outside of the boys and girls high schools has any clue about Mr. Montgomery, and I daresay that you all wish to keep it this way. Unfortunately, though I hate to be a party-pooper, she pauses and stares at the horrified sea of faces in front of her I will be sending an email home to your parents concerning the situation, and, if there are no extreme problems, I shall send an additional letter home over Christmas break to make sure that no emails were interfered with. Now, go on to your classes, and do your homework. Shes about to leave, when, with a mischievous smile, she turns back and says loud and clear, I will send the e-mails through the schools main ac-

count at seven in the evening, and the letter shall come in a light blue envelope two days into Christmas break. Now, off with you. And she walked off the stage. Im frozen in my chair. Crap! I utter the expletive with no small degree of concern, but Eva and Jessie are shaking with laughter. Jessie laughing at something bad coming my way I can understand, but Eva? Whats so funny? I demand suspiciously. Eva calms down first. Ms. Healthgot, you see, wishes to retire, but due to pressure from parents as well as faculty, shes staying on until she gets fired. Shes also pretty lenient, as you can tell. So, itll be ridiculously easy to hack into her email account and block her from sending emails, and finding the envelope and hiding it from our parents. So dont worry, Rafael. Youre fine, no one will complain or get you in trouble or anything. I glance up to where Ms. Healthgot is talking to a student. Our gazes meet, and I swear to God she winks at me. 0o0o0o0o0 Ampheres. Like, who gives a fuck. Seriously. But because the test in front of me has it on there, I heave a long-suffering sigh and stare at the numbers. You know what would be cool? If I divided this by that, then multiplied it by that number. Add those, divide againHey! I got seven! Its my lucky number. I type that as my answer. We dont get multiple choice. Yeah. Its Creative Writing in the computer lab, and this Physics take-home (more like take to youre room) test was duewellyesterday. Oops. I didnt even get to copy from anyone because I just plum forgot. Golly Gee. Stupid piece of shit. Were supposed to be writing a short story about a characters struggles in life. Ill write a short one about the Physics test in a moment. Let me just figure out the current hereI think its two. You know what would be cool? If I wrote seven for the next answer again, then two... Seven, two, seven, two. Cool, huh? And Ill make the NEXT answer be the average of those. Sofour and a half. When I was done, I emailed the answers to my teachers school account. She told me that she would be checking her mail at six this morning, and if it wasnt in her mailbox I automatically failed, but she wasnt feeling well this morning so I doubt that she checked it yet. Configure the time on the computer a bit (me? Hacking? No.) and configure the time one her account, and voila, I sent it at 5:59 AM.

Sure enough, twenty-five minutes later, I got an email telling me that she was so glad that she allowed me to hand it in late because I got a 90 and she hated depriving students of excellent grades. A ninety. Cool. The teacher comes behind me, and I quickly stuff the Physics papers into my bag and click back to my story about the student suffering from a Physics test. She scans it, and her face lights up. Montgomery! This is genius! Yeah it is. Well, no it isnt. But as long as she thinks so, okay. The underlying theme is so subdued! Beautiful! Underlying theme? Like what, sexual frustration? I smile up at her, wink and the giggling Puerto Rican girl next to me with the gorgeous hair. She winked back flirtatiously. Satisfied, I turn back to the teacher. I wasnt sure I was dropping enough hints. Yeah. Dropping hints like Im dropping bullshit right now. Its fine, She gushes. Youre pro-communism message is perfectly incorporated! This is an A+ paper for sure! Um. Okay. Communism? The girl says wryly after the teacher has bustled off. I shrug. As long as it doesnt preach Hitler, its all good. 0o0o0o0o0 Finally, I groan in mock relief when the bell rang. I put my Jackson Pollock imitation away and dump my brushes into the bin of soapy water in the sink. Some of the girls had gotten into a fight over some guy in the boys school and had started throwing paint at each other. I ducked behind my canvas until they were separated, and voila! Splatters galore. I called it Two. Did you get hit with any paint? Anne asked. Nope, I say cheerfully. Unlike Anne. She, just like the majority of the class, was covered head to toe with splashes of color. At least it was only tempra paint. But it got all over my canvas. I noticed, Anne grumbled. The teacher thinks its genius.

I shrug. Who am I to argue with the truth? Haha. You go on to lunch, I need to change, Anne said. I can go with you, I offer, but she shakes her head. Okay. See you, then. See ya, she responds. I head for the lunchroom. I dont think any of you can appreciate being the only guy in a girls school. Im taller than pretty much everyone, and no matter how crowded the hallway is, theres always a path cleared up for me. I mean, I still get a lot of boobs up against my arm, but it doesnt hinder my walking or anything. I enter the cafeteria and make my way through the maze of tables and chairs to my designated spot only to find it occupied. Ah, yes. How typical that of all the seats in the cafeteria, she just had to choose mine. Jessie has finished all her extra work and has graced us with her presence. Which is all very well, but I had dibs on that chair. Ah, well, who better to give it up to? So I sit next to her, and smile winningly. Hey, Jessie. She mutters a greeting, which is lost when the rest of the group streams in, giggling and laughing. When they catch sight of Jessie, shes bombarded with hellos and all sots of girl-bonding shit. A pretty dark-haired girl squeals, Jessie! You are so lucky! Because she has me. Duh. But Jessie shoots her a frankly curious look. Why? Because you have Rafael! The girl yelps. See? I told you. But now Jessies going to get pissed, and hey! Is that a That looks like Eva put her bag on the floor and sat down. Hey, Rafael. Jessie, whyre you blushing? If Jessie had fangs, she wouldve bared them. Im not blushing. And having Mr. Ego over here in your room isnt exactly the best thing in the world. I wave my hand in front of Jessies face. Hi. Im right here. Unfortunately, she mutters. Then louder, Look. Im going to get some lunch.

Ill go with you, I say, standing up. She starts to sit back down again. On second thought Hey! She tries to pull away, but Ive got my hand cupping her elbow, and when she tries to hold back its ridiculously easy to pull her after me. Okay. I lied. Shes pretty strong. But Im stronger, a fact of life that Jessie realizes after a moment of trying to (unsuccessfully) pull away. So, with a look perilously close to a sulk on her face, she follows me to go stand on the lunch line. You can let go now, she grumbles. Awww do I have to? Nope! A foot stomping on mine has me reevaluating that as I hastily let go of her. Ow, damn it, that ah. Right. So. If a girl hits you and expects it to hurt, keep your mouth sealed about it not being painful. Or shell do it again. Harder. Brilliant conversation, Jessie says scathingly. Bite me, I mutter. The last time I was tongue tied around a girl was was do you believe in past lives? And die of some unknown disease? Pass. Does anyone here get the idea I lost the upper hand on this conversation, or is it just me? Party, I say desperately. Are you going to the party? Because if she is, I can drop some hints, like, saying, Go with me. Okay, not exactly a hint, but it gets the message across, doesnt it? And then shell turn me down and Ill be forced toconvince her. Nope, she says. I hate dancing. Well, crap. Then, I narrow my eyes. Jessie, I say slowly, look me straight in the eyes and tell me again if youre going to the dance. She ignores me to go order lunch. Jessie? She ignores me - again - to get something to drink. Jessie!

She ignores me again to tie her shoelace. Okay. Definite pattern here. Jessie! Hmmm? She says innocently. Jeez. I swear Im going to get gray hair. See? Theres one! No, wait, thats a weird shade of blond. Never mind. Look at me. She does. Did I mention that I love her eyes? Pretty shade of brown, and so darn nave. Which goes to disprove that eyes are NOT windows of the soul or maybe Im not looking close enough. So I take a step closer to her. Yup, they still look blameless. Maybe I should take another step and Im looking, Montgomery. Ah. Right. Tell me again that you are not going to the dance. Obsessive freak, she grouses. Then answer me! Okay. Getting weird looks from those near enough to hear the conversation. Forget them. No! Im not! She half-yells back, but before she turns around and stomps away, I see a little flicker of nerves. As I said before, I usually am a good judge of facial expression. So I think shes going, and lying about it. A typical Jessie. But considering I had to go through all that. How the hell am I going to get her to go with me? Maybe I should just show up and work from there. But what if another guy gets to her? But she doesnt like hanging around guys. Then why does she have a boyfriend? Because because. Ok. Ask her out. See? The majority of the voices in my head said to go for it. So Ill try to ask her outlike, maybe. In a few days. When I catch her in a good mood. Around me. In a good mood. (Oxymoron). Damn it. When did life get this confusing?After school is supposed to be the first volleyball practice. So I stop by Ms. Healthgots office. Her secretarys too busy playing The Sims to do much more than wave me past. So I go in.

Ms. Healthgot is at her desk, busy printing out what I can only guess would be letters about me. She glances up and smiles. Hello, Rafael. How are you? I havent really spoken to you since the first day. Its the third week. How are you? Never been better, I say with total honesty. Is that the letter you told us about in Assembly? She passes me one. Yes, it is. I scan it, and fight back the grin. You know, you never mentioned that Im bunking with one of the girls. In fact, you make it sound like Im in my own building with personal teachers and that Im never near any of the girls. Oops, Ms. Healthgot says guilelessly. I glance at her. Look, I appreciate it, but wont you get fired? She snorts. Ive been trying to get fired for the past two years. And besides, its not my fault if the mail gets intercepted. I stare at her. You are, I say slowly, without a doubt, the most awesome principal ever. She smiles at me. Why, thank you, Rafael. It just seems so ridiculous to have to send you away. Youve been doing quite well in your classes, despite that one test grade in your history class, there are no problems that have arisen from the girls, and, quite frankly, in the classes you go to, our cut rate has dropped to zero. Haha. Of course. Who would want to miss seeing me? She takes the letter back. So, what exactly brought you to the dreaded office? I just wanted to say that I want to help with the volleyball team. She smiles. Do you know anyone on it? Eva, I say. Thats everyone I know. Well, then, I believe you know more people, she says. Hopefully you get along with all of them. Now, she says briskly. The meeting should start in about five minute in the gymnasium. Off you go, she scolds, making a shooing motion with her hands. Dont be late.

I go quickly. Im walking in the hallway when a familiar voice hails me. Rafe! I turn around. Eva, I exclaim. Hey, Jessie, I add. She glares at me. What did I do now? I snap, annoyed. I didnt do anything! Im innocent (this time)! Why is she always pissed at me? Jeez. You. Volleyball. I heard that the coach asked you to help with that. Okay. Yeah, I I started to say, when it clicked. And with that came the long, easy smile. Why, Jessie, I say. You wouldnt be on the volleyball team, by any chance, now would you be? The answer was the affirmative. Well, she didnt actually say yes; she flipped me the bird. But it meant the same thing. I trail after them to the gym, Jessie walking as fast as she can, with Eva and me valiantly trying to catch up. So, Jessie, how tight are the uniforms? I ask her stiff back. Are they baggy, or the stretchy swimsuit stuff they wear in the Olympics that shows every curve and then some? Judging by her growl, I think Im going to be getting some very nice views of her body soon enough. We enter the gym, where a small crowd of girls is already waiting. There are a lot of catcalls, and Jessie and Eva are pulled into loads of welcoming hugs. I look around at the group. The group is made up of a few seniors, but mostly freshmen that seem to be trying out, judging by the nervous faces. The only ones I recognize are Jaime (shes in my math class), Jessie, Eva, and whos that girl over there? Well, whadaya know. Marie, Pixy, and no Dixy. What a loss. The gym teacher comes out, and the veterans wave. She waves back. Im so glad to see some familiar faces. Last year, we had a wonderful team, and made it to the semi-finals. Are we going to do that again, ladies? Yes! All the girls yelled. And when we have the traditional volleyball game against the boys team, are we going to wipe the floor with them?

Yes! This time, the scream was considerably louder. Hey, um, theres a guy over here. Pretend to be nice, will ya? Excellent! she beams. Try-outs this week for the newcomers, veterans, practice starts next week. Dismissed. Montgomery, Davidson, please stay put for a moment. She turns around and leaves the gym. Everyone trickles out after her, and me and Jessie are left. All alone. I turn on that super-hot though slightly unnerving stare of mine and focus it on Jessie. She successfully ignores me for a minute, then She shifts a bit. I keep staring. She bites her lip. (Stare). Weight shifted. (Stare). Licks her (full, sexy) lips. (Stare). She turns on me. What? She half yells. Im tempted to smile, but I hold it back. So, you do soccer and volleyball? No. I lied about the soccer. She stares longingly at the gym door. As if she either wants to leave or she wants the gym teacher to come back. Probably both. I want neither. I step a bit closer to her as she goes on, getting a bit close to babbling. Cant do soccer I trip over the ball Volleyballs the COACH! She squeaks out in relief when Im only like two feet away. Damn. I glance at the Coach. Shes holding a ball under her arm. Jess, she says, and throws the ball hard at Jessie, who catches it easily and gives it an experimental toss in the air. Youll be captain this year. Jessies whole face lights up. She looks so pretty when that happens. Montgomery here says he wants to help with volleyball. So, if he can play, then you two should get to know each other. Give him the ball.

Jessie throws it at me. Hard. I catch it. Easily. I toss the ball in the air, bump it. Hmmm. Its all coming back to me I set it a few times, the fake-spike it. Jessie is watching me with narrowed eyes. So is the coach, but while hers is distinctly friendly, Jessies stare is not. I serve the ball against the wall, and bump it when it bounces back. Smiling slightly, I set it towards Jessie, who spikes it at me and hits me in the stomach. Oomph, I gasp out, catching it a moment too late. Ah nice spike. The coach has this super-happy look on her face. Wonderful! Montgomery, it would be great if you could help out around here. Now, because try-outs Id rather do myself, you just come back with Jess next week when the tram is all set. Okay? Jess, keep him posted. Sure, Jessie said. Which means I wont know shit. Ill just have to ask Eva. Then Ill see you next week. I tossed the ball back to her, shook her hand, and walked out the gym. A moment later, Jessie came running after me. Montgomery, She demanded, walking in front of me and walking backwards so she was facing me. Is there anything you cant do? Um Thinkingthinking and coming up blank. Horseback riding, I say finally. Have you ever tried to go horseback riding? Theres a turn coming up in the corridor. Shes going to crash into the wall if she keeps going. No, actually, Ive never gone horseback riding. That wall is looming closer and closer. Should I say something? She rolls her eyes in exasperation. Then, damn it, its not that you cant ride, its that you never tried oomph! She hits the wall, and her eyes pop open in shock, and she topples forward. Since Im in the way, she whoops, would you look at that stumbles into me. I slip my hands around her waist, lean forward so my mouth is next to her ear. Her hands are on my chest in an attempt to brace herself. You okay? I whisper, tightening my grip around her waist. Theres a delightful moment where she doesnt move (shes a fucking hot armful, let me tell you that) until she stomps on my foot. And yes, the same

one she stepped on in Assembly. Let go of me! she squeaks, her face red. You could have told me I was going to run into the wall! Yeah, I couldve Nah. 0o0o0o0o0 I was very nice to her after that. Because she gets really irritated if I ask her personal questions, I slowly eased my way into getting to know her better. On Monday, I asked her what her favorite color was. She said blue. She asked me how many girlfriends Ive had. When my face went blank, she told me to try. I told her it was a lot. She told me to do my best. I said thirtyfour. Shed said, sarcastically, I meant in the whole world. Crap, Id said to her. I have to tally those up to? A few minutes later when I was still trying to remember this particular group of girls I met in Germany was that six or nine? - she told me to shut up before my brain overworked itself and crashed again. On Tuesday, I asked her how many guys shes ever gone out with. She said three. She asked me what my favorite color was. I said Alizarin Crimson. On Wednesday, she asked me tentatively if I had any siblings. I told her all about Dani. About how we were seven years apart, and that we werent super close. I told her stories about us yes, including the whole gum-inbrush incident. I asked her about HER siblings, because shed mentioned that she had a step-brother, but Jessie forfeited on answering. So, I dont have to worry about my physics homework next week. On Thursday, I asked her why she took an instant dislike to me. She said shortly, You remind me of someone I hate. Um. Okay. Thanks for the vote of confidence. She asked me why I cared. At first, I thought she was being her normal, snippy self, but then I realized that she was dead serious. Well, its because, for some reason, Im really attracted to you despite the fact youre not really my type. And because I like you, I really wouldnt mind going out with you. In order for that to happen, you kinda have to like me

too. And if I have to wait much longer, Im not going to go slow here and Im just going to grab you and But I didnt say that. Instead, I muttered, Because it sucks being roomed with someone who dislikes me. The under my breath, I add, For shallow reasons. Apparently I didnt say it quietly enough. Because guess what came soaring at my head a second later? Look whos talking, she snapped angrily. Im telling you, I need to buy Jessie some paperback books to replace her hardcover ones. Because shes lethal. Especially those Wheel of Time books she has one of them in hardcover. The L. J. Smith ones arent as bad. 0o0o0o0o0 My mom called me Friday afternoon, the day before the big fiesta. The one Im going to because I dont trust Jessie around Jared. Yeah, hes going too. I called him, and he was like, Is Eva going? Then yes. So that was that. Raffie, its gorgeous! She said happily. However did you find it? Because it had been her birthday yesterday, Id FedEx-ed the necklace to her the night before. Remember I told you about Jessie? I asked. My roommate? She helped me pick it out. What a doll! my mother says. I really ought to get her something for Christmas. Its still September, I remind her. Christmas is in two months. It never fails to disturb me how my mom goes Christmas shopping months in advance. Me, or eBay saves the day. Nonetheless, she says breezily. Are you two friends? Yeah Kinda. Sorta. Not yet. Hopefully soon. And more. You should invite her over for Christmas break, and a few other nice boys and girls. My mom says. We can pay for the airfare and everything, although most people in those schools are well-off. Meaning everyone, including me, is rolling in money, but if anyone is on scholarship then its fine for my parents to pay the way. You see? This is when the green stuff comes in handy

Hmmm. Yes, I say thoughtfully. I may do that. Jessie, Eva, Jessie, Anne, Jessie, Jared, and any other guys I may have met by then. Well, Jared only if Jessie is over him by then (why wouldnt she be??) and if he and Eva are together, although two lovebirds under the same roof can get a bit gooey. All that lovey-dovey stuff can get a little nauseating after a while. We chat a bit more, until I realize I have call waiting. Hey, Mum, I gotta go. I say hurriedly. Love you, and have an awesome birthday with Dad. I will! she says in a way that makes me glad Im a few thousand miles away. I disconnect and switch over. Hello? Raffie! Ohmigod, I missed you so much! No, its not my mum again. Marie. I hedge. Missed me since when? Hey, like, me and that guy I like are, like, going to go hang out at the mall, in the Starbucks on the second floor. So could you, like, ask me out in, like an hour and a half? Please, pretty please? Arg. That dumb little promise I made. Nothing like getting turned down BY and FOR a girl. That doesnt even make sense. Im about to say no, when I figure, Itll only take an hour. Thats all, and then you can just avoid her for the rest of your life. Well, if I put it like that Yeah, Ill be right over there. As it takes no more than half an hour to get there, I can procrastinate about homework and wait for that sweet girl to pick up the laundry. Jessies off to the library, doing homework for next week. Because teachers usually give the assignments weekly, I figured out that Jessie does all the homework for the week during the weekends, then does minor stuff for the rest of the time. Me? Ive only done two math homeworks, one physics homework, and one history all on my own. The rest someone else does for me or I copy during class. We had another test in History today, and Jessie was eyeing me nervously the whole time till I rolled my eyes at her trepidations. Silly twit. I dont want her to tutor me in history anymore, so Ill pass this test well. She can tutor me in Physics. Haha. Ill ask her in a week or two. Theres a solid knock on the door, and I swing it open and grin. Maddie!

Hey, Maddie beams up at me. Shes a short, rotund little girl with the most adorable puffy cheeks ever. Despite the fact that if she put her blue-dyed hair into pigtails she could see a movie at a childrens price, shes a sophomore. And she does my laundry for five bucks a load. So, wheres the stuff? I pass her the basket. I love you, Maddie, I say with complete honesty. She dimples at me. Save the five bucks and get me an awesome Christmas present, she admonishes me. I shake my head. How about I pay you five bucks, and we buy each other Christmas presents? Deal, She says, and walks off. We have that exchange every time she gets my dirty laundry. She does the laundry for quite a few people, and trust me, shes making a lot of money. Usually she charges ten dollars a load, but I got half price because Im so damn sexy. Hey, her words. Shes a trust fund baby, but I heard her parents want her to grow up as unspoiled as possible, so she does random little errands to support herself. I stick my head into the hallway. Marry me, Maddie! I yell, and I hear her laughter echo up to me. Someone elses laughter joins in, a lot closer than Maddies. A moment later, Jessie turns the corner. Hey, Jessie. I greet her, a bit embarrassed. Done with your homework? You probably arent, she says in lieu of a greeting. Lieu. What a weird word. Creative Writing dominated my brain for a second thereanyway. It got a bit cold in the library. They tend to overdo the air conditioning. I glance down, and feel a smile curve my lips. With shorts THAT short, no wonder she got cold. I mean, Ive most definitely seen shorter, but for Jessie, its pretty exposing. Wonder why Jessies prettying herself up, because that is DEFINITELY lip gloss on her lips. Rafael, she says, annoyed. My eyes are up here. I glance up to her eyes. Okay. That makes it sound like I looked from legs to eyes. Let me rephrase that. I let my gaze slowly wander up till it reached her eyes. That is one hot shirt shes got on. I know your eyes are here, I tease. Why are you so dressed up? She shrugs. Because its summer? Shes lying. I stare at her, deadpanned expression on my face. She clears her throat. Um, Im in a good mood?

That beeping noise was my bullshit radar, I say. She flushes. Which can only mean one thing Fine, damn it. Jared said he would come over and help me with this English paper Im having problems with. Fuck, I say, annoyed. What? Nothing. I duck inside the room, grab my cell, and brush past her down the hallway. I, ah, have to make a phone call. Her face is bewildered. Um, okay. Take as loooooong as you want. I turn the corner, and speed-dial Jareds number. Hey, he says, picking up. You were going to help Jessie on her English paper, I accuse. Theres a short silence. Oh. Yeah. Oops. I forgot. Sorry. I snarl. He cant see it, though, so its not particularly effective. You know, Evas on the volleyball team, which I intend to help out with. You really dont want me to hang around too much with her, do you? Bastard, Jared growls. Jessies my friend. Oh, yeah? I growl back. Explain the short shorts, then. A pause. Then, Damn. Are you telling me Yes, she does, I snap. And if I catch you alone with her, Ill beat the shit out of you. Empty threat right there. I wouldnt beat Jared up. Because Jessie would hate me then. Same goes for you and Eva, Jared says lightly, and hangs up. 0o0o0o0o0 Jessie throws herself on her bed, sulking. Where is he? she says to no one in particular. I need to finish the paper this weekend, and I really dont want to do it Sunday. I smile at her. Shes really cute when shes annoyed (but not at me). And, she has yet to change clothes. She scowls at me. Why are you smiling? Dont smile. Hes not even picking up his cell phone. Appreciated, Jared.

She heaves a sigh, and reaches bad-temperedly for her laptop. Schoolissued, of course. You know, youre last name is kinda familiar, I suddenly say. Ive been musing over her name, and I suddenly realize that the name Davidson sounds familiar. Maybe I have some rich-ass relatives that run in your circle, she says snidely, but if you ask me, she looks a bit nervous. How odd. Maybe I do know her from somewhere, but I honestly dont remember meeting her before. Does the fact that I have money bother you? I ask, annoyed. I hate it when people look at the credit cards and automatically hate. Its shallow, selfish, and their own problems. Yes, some rich people are snobby, but then again, so are those who are not rich. So get over it, people. Shes silent for a moment. No, she finally grumbles. Im kind of used to it in this school. So where do I know your last name from? I persist. She shrugs. Its not rare or anything. She stares at the screen, sighs again. Considering the message of the book, she reads out loud, Was the main characters choice at the end a good one or a bad one? Explain. Sounds like a tough essay. What book? I ask curiously. Heart of Darkness, she says in disgust. Joseph Conrad. I sit up straight. Oh, thats easy. You dont get the book? She stares at me. You do? Youve read the book? Then, under her breath, You can read? Then she rolls her eyes. Oh, yeah, this is the dumb blonde who can do everything. Beg pardon. Dumb blonde? Im not a dumb blond. Blonds arent dumb. Most definitely not this one. The book is basically about the decay of human morals away from society. So, if Marlow realizes Kurtzs descent into madness, was it wrong of him to lie about his fate to everyone, which left civilization in the dark? Pun intended. She tilts her head to the side and ponders it for a minute. Thats what the book is about? I kind of disagree, because isnt it also about...? I roll my eyes. Whatever, I say. Use it or leave it. I thought you wanted the paper done today. She gets up, sits down at her neatly organized desk. A moment later, the keys on the computer start to click furiously. I think shes using my interpre-

tation. See? No need for Jared. Now, all I need is Jessie to realize it. I watch her, making sure I dont have any expression on my face. A small strand of hair is in her face, and as I watch, she absently blows it out the way. A few seconds later, it drifts back down. Shes so busy typing that she doesnt notice. Then poof! The hair drifts back up again. I could watch this for hours. She glances up. What are you staring at? I grin at her. Tuck the hair behind your ear. She does so, flushing slightly. Um. Thanks for the ah she gestures. Paper thing. Okay, shes in a good mood. What better time? Go to the dance with me, I say, keeping my voice normal. Yeah, I what? Her voice shot up a few octaves on the last word. I raise an eyebrow. (damn it, Jessie, just say yes, please, not that Im begging). The dance. You. Me. Together. Im not as calm as Im pretending. Why do girls always think that guys are totally in control? I mean, Im never turned down, but theres always that little, mostly-ignored thought in the back of my mind that just maybe, a girl will say no. And, on top of that, Jessies different than most girls, because I dont know. Quite frankly, I dont want to know. It helped my ego (not that it needed much help, but Jessie tends to deflate it a bit) the see her turn red. A lot redder than when Jareds name comes up. You mean, likea date? A date means, usually, another one after that. Which means a commitment. Do I want that? Why not? I tilt my head to the side, absently noting that I seem to have picked up that habit from Jessie. Yeah. Her mouth opens. Closes. Opens. Closes. A date? she gets out.

Oh, hell no is she going to turn me down. I get up and saunter over to the desk, and sit on the corner of it. Cmon, I cajole. Itll be fun. My definition of fun, of course, if you catch my drift. (Insert evil laughter.) Fun? I roll my eyes. Parroting is a good sign, and I feel victory is only inches away. Jessie. A date. No big deal. You know you want to, I say teasingly. Well, the tone is teasing. But judging by the coloring of her skin, she does want to. However, judging by pas actions, shell come up with a reason to get out of it. I reach out, tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, let my fingers linger on the lobe of her ear. How bad can I be? Very bad. But she doesnt know that. Youre annoying, egotistical, and not my type, She begins. Damn it! Shes not going to start that again, is she? What do you know about me? I heard about you before I met you, She snapped. And it wasnt nice. A moment later, she freezes. Too late. I heard the words, loud and clear. Hold up. WTF? Then you probably heard it from a guy, I say. Its true. What girl would say bad stuff? Judging by her face, I was right. Who do you know that I know? I heard that youre a player, that you dump people in a heartbeat. I heard a lot of shit. How you play with them. Im not looking for a broken heart. Im about to ask whom she knows again, since she never answered it the first time I asked her, but the last sentence completely threw me off track. I cant break your heart unless I have it. Fuck you. Wow. I could interpret that in quite a few ways. Look, I say, annoyed. I made this messed up promise to Marie and She glances sharply at me, and her eyes widen. Oh my. Oh, She says in a different voice. A quiet one. You dont like Marie, do you? No, I say calmly. I thought she was your type.

I shrug. I thought so, too. But, as of now, my type seems to be brownhaired girls that hate popular blond guys. Like Yours Truly. I I heard youre going to help her get this guy that thats really She trails off for a moment, then says, Well, idiotically nice of you. Whenever Jessie does a one-eighty, beware. Howd you know about that? It never fails to amaze me how fast girls can swap rumors. Amaze, and occasionally frighten me. Tell a girl that you saw the transfer student, and next period everyone thinks youve asked her out or something. Jessie shrugged. I know Maries been obsessed with this guy. Why on Earth would you help her? I dont know. Because I can? I dont get you, she says. Sometimes I dont get me, either. She takes a deep breath. Look. I didnt want to go with anyone, really, but I dont know. If youre not going with anyone else, I let me think about it. Sure, I say, thinking, Scooooore! Being nice to Marie really pays off, doesnt it? 0o0o0o0o0 Its a nice walk to the town. As I watch, an airplane comes in. Its a small airplane. No big ones here. The plane I took here was a small one, and the flight attendant Id been chatting with had told me that the only reason that there WAS an airplane was because the parents had gotten sick of having to rent cars to drive their kids around, had all chipped in (significantly) to get a plane just to shuffle students around. Not a bad idea, in fact. I walk to town, just enjoying the cool evening breeze. When I enter the town, I glance around. There are quite a few students walking around, and I recognize a bunch of girls and a few guys I met the last time I went here. I nod, and they nod back. I pass by the large bar that has a poster proclaiming the teen night tomorrow evening. Crap, I realize, I hadnt asked Jessie yet. Ill do so the second I get back from this ridiculous thing.

Why am I doing this? Oh, yeah. Consider it the last thing I do for Marie. I enter the mall, and Im taking the escalator up when my cell phone makes a noise, indicating I got a new voice message. I take it out and glance at the number. I dont recognize it. Crap. Its probably some stalker girls from my old school that got a hold of my number. So far, my immediate family, Anne, Jared, Marie (bleh), my best female friend Tessa, and my best friend/cousin David (who I REALLY have to call) are programmed into my cell. Those are the only numbers I really care about. I put my cell phone back in my pocket. I see the Starbucks, and its rather full. I see Marie in the corner, charting some guy up. I sigh, tell myself itll be over in a few seconds. Pasting on a (highly falsified) smile, I amble over. Marie glances up and smiles brightly. Rafael! She says, sounding surprised. I have to give it to her. She can act. Well, so can I. Hey, Marie, I say, ignoring the guy completely. Are you going to the dance tomorrow? Yeah, She says, maintaining the puzzled expression. I swallow. After this, I tell myself, I will never do anything for her again. Do you want to go with me? The other guy sucks in a sharp breath. Marie! You said you would go with me! She preens. Well Jake, youre such a loser. Rafael, She says with a cattish smile, I would love to go with you. What?? And, to top it all, she said it loud enough for the whole damn Caf to hear her. I have, I acknowledged grimly as I turned and stalked out the store with a smug Marie left behind, absolutely no way out. And I would bet my last dollar that Jessie knew it, too. If youre not going with anyone else Damn, damn, damn! How do I always fall into these damn traps? Its all Jessies fault. I swear. 0o0o0o0o0

Damn it, Montgomery, dont you ever pick up your cell? Jessies voice comes over, sounding annoyed. Hope you didnt, like, ask Marie out because she wanted to impress another guy. Its her dumb strategy of getting dates with guys that are stupid enough to fall for it. Yes. There is a most definite smug sound to her voice. I let the threatening silence hang. Good one, Jessie says, sounding a bit put out. Well, since youre going with Marie, I cant really go with you. Ill just go with someone else. And with that, she hangs up on me. See? Jessie seems to have forgotten that I share a room with her. 0o0o0o0o0 Jessie hadnt forgotten. Because when I stalked into the room, there was a note saying she was going to sleep in a friends room. I call Anne without a qualm. Hey, hon. Hey, she says. Whats up? Nothing much. Where are you? Watching Troy in the lounge. Every couple of Fridays we have a movie night where the girls chip in a dime to rent a movie and buy popcorn. I found a cell on the ground outside. Is it Jessies? Jessie, Anne says, her voice distant as if talking to someone next to her. Did you Bingo. I hang up and leave the room, all but running down the stairs. Because Jessie wasnt stupid; she probably knew I was coming down. Sure enough, guess who came dashing up the stairs leading down to the basement? Ah She trails off. I had a lovely walk outside, I say. Marie says hi. Um. I didnt know, she says lamely. Jasmine told me after you left. Liar. Whos Jasmine?

A friend. Jessie tried to walk past me in the staircase. I sidle over so Im blocking her. Excuse me. Not excused, I say. You tricked me into this. You were dumb enough to fall for it. I need to go. Ill go with you. No! In the end, Jessie returned back to the movie with me at her side. And boy, was she pissed that she misses seeing Brad Pitts ass. All the girls were sprawled over each other, laying on the floor with their heads on someones lap or on someones stomach, watching the movie and passing the popcorn and drinks. I headed straight for the middle, and I had my head resting comfortably on some girls stomach. Because I kinda took Jessies place, in order to watch the movie she had to squeeze in next to me. I played with her hair during the whoooooooooooole movie. 0o0o0o0o0 An hour later, Jessies in bed, reading a book while Im staring at the wall, replaying the scene in Starbucks over and over again. Arg! I cant hold in the annoyed yell any longer. Jessie sends me a half-droll, half-nervous look. Then she goes back to her book. Then she looks at me. Question of the day, she announces. How do you feel about Marie right now? I glance at her. Lets put it this way. Get me out of this damn thing, and and Jessie smirks, like she had something confirmed. You said youd go with her. Not that youd stay with her. Ditch her a block from the party. I cant wait to see her face there. Jessie had the good grace to flush at her slip up, but I went on before she could defend herself. Okay, My question. What is the name of the guy who told you about me?

She makes an exasperated noise. Its nothing. His name is nothing? I say as sarcastically as I can. She glares at me for a long moment. Pass. Wow, this is the second time. You forfeit? Yeah. Fine. Your favor for me save me a dance. That lasts as long as the song does, I add. I can see her dancing with me for like five seconds before announcing that shes fulfilled the deal. And that doesnt sit well with me. No! Jessies face turns that interesting shade of red thats becoming more and more common around me. His name his namedamn it. Fine. Youll tell me who? I say, a bit disappointed. No. You get the dance, She says, annoyed. But only if Im free. Why do I have a feeling shes going to have a partner thats not me twentyfour seven? I smile at her. Fine. Deal. Hey, wanna seal the deal with a Shower, Jessie announces, bouncing off the bed and almost running into the bathroom. I need to her voice trails off as she slams the door behind her. I won that round because for one thing, she never answered my question, for another thing, she got nervous, and last but not least I never heard the water go on.No, I snap. Im trying to freaking shave here. I hate stubble. Thankfully, I dont have to shave often. Out! Three voices say menacingly. No! I yell back. Jeez. What is it with girls and the bathroom? My sister every morning used to hog the damn thing for an hour. Even when she was in the shower. I mean, I could easily brush my teeth while shes hollering offkey behind the curtain. But no. She has to have it ALL. Montgomery! Jessie yells. Damn it!

Rafael, Anne says, annoyed. Seriously. Rafe, Eva whines. Please? Put your bloody makeup on in those little hand mirrors! I yell at them. I am not giving up the bathroom. I had it first. A minute later, with shaving cream on my face, Im sitting on my bed, trying to shave in a little hand mirror that got chucked at my head. Im afraid Eva has started PMSing. Thats the only explanation for her grabbing me by the hair and pulling me out the bathroom. Its Saturday evening. Jessie got back from her work, and I got back from the movie theaters with Jared and a few of his friends. I met Nathan, who seems to have floated through life on an weed-induced fog. Carl was a guy whose muscles seemed inversely related to his brain size. And he hade huge muscles. Then, there was Dan. Who was a gay if there ever was one. Quite amusing, as he seems to enjoy hitting on Carl, whos a homophobe if there ever was one. A typical conversation was something along the lines of, Wow, Carl, did you see that guys ass? No. Awww, man, you missed it! Almost as nice as Rafaels. You did notice Rafaels, right? No. The movies here suck. Hey, Carl, did you see that one yet? No. You seem annoyed. Am I bothering you? A moment of silence. Then, a sullen, No. So, will you go out with me? Nooo! Carl would bellow. It was hilarious. Especially since me and Jared ensured that the two of them sat next to each other in the movie theater for our personal amusements. There was a lot of low heated arguments going on between them. Kinda like the voices drifting through the bathroom door. I cock my head and listen to the conversation and giggles spilling out of the bathroom. No, thats a bad color for your eyes Omigod, that skirt looks so cute

Then Jessies voice. No eyeshadow, then! Glitter, Anne says confidently. Ow! Stupid mascara wand! Ouch, that could put your eye out, Eva! Janets going with Nick. Theyre so cute together! I know, right? But I heard theyre fighting a lot. Do I look fat in these pants? Of course not. Did you hear Marcia got a bikini wax just for this dance? I shudder. I dont think Ive ever fully appreciated the agony that girls go through to look good. I doubt I ever will. Thankfully, I can live with that. My cell rings, and I glance at the name on the screen. When I see it, I nearly drop the mirror in an effort to grab it. I press the Talk button and put the phone to my ear. David! He hates that name. Raffie! He says, sounding put out. Im three times as pretty as you are. So why dont we switch places? He knows. Figures. David whoops Dave knows everything. Howd you know? I said, peeved. Almost no one knows. I Googled your cell phone number, then your name. Some girl at a Xanga site and she was talking about you. My cousin is a hacker. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depends how you look at it) he doesnt need to hack most of the time. Yeah. Im stuck at a girls school. Stuck? Happily. He laughed. So, anyone besides me know about this? No. Keep it that way. Sure thing. Okay. Ill call you tomorrow when I hear something. Okay? Sure, I say gratefully. Bye. Yeah, He says, and hangs up. Just then, I realize that I forgot to tell him not to give out my cell number. Crap. Well, its not like anyones going to find out , right?

My cell phone rings again. Sometimes, I really hate the grapevine. What? I snap into the phone. Hello, Rafael, A familiar, sultry voice purrs over the phone line. Hey, sexy, I purr back, then laugh. Damn, Tessa, its been forever. Mmm, she agrees. Almost a month. But Im quite sure you have a good reason as to why you never called me back. I can see her, lounging on her bed, with the red sheets that complement her dark, dark skin (shes a bit vain, with good reason) a cat-like smile on her face, her inky fall of hair looking as perfect as ever. Id nearly tripped when I had first seen her, then tripped again when I saw her, well, not interested in me. Or, actually, guys altogether. So we struck up a friendship, which was a relief because I could finally flirt with a girl without her trying to jump me or anything. Well, you see, there was a bit of a mess up on my parents part, and they kinda sent me to the girls school. A short silence. Then, Whatever youre smoking, send me some. My spine straightened in automatic indignation. Im not high. Im serious. I am at a girls school. Yes. Seriously high. Got some good shit over there. Tessa! Honestly, Rafael. You expect me to believe you? Put someone on the phone. Someone else. Someone thats not high. I stalk to the bathroom, open it partway. Loud shrieks ensue. Jessie. Call for you. A bare arm snakes around the door shes hiding behind it and takes the phone. I glance through the door hinges. Nice. The door shuts in my face at the same time I realize that holy shit, am I insane? The two most influential females in my life right now, talking to each other? I leap towards the bathroom door and try to open it, but it wont budge, as if three bodies are pulling on the door handle to keep it closed. Jessie! I bellow. Give me back the phone! I lied! Its not for you! He what? I hear Jessie squeal. Then, Hey, Rafe, you really did that? As I dont know what Tessa told her, I cant really say, but knowing Tessa, I probably did. Tessa, I snarl. One more word and

The door swings open, and as I stumble back, the cell is tossed at me. I catch it. Tessa? Damn, she says, sounding impressed. You arent high. Want to trade places? I refuse to be held responsible for turning a whole school of girls. It would do hell to my reputation. She preens. I can tell. Aw. Thats so flattering. But, the girl I talked to, Jessie Why do females have to be so perceptive about each other? Yeah? I try to say nonchalantly. It failed the Tessa Test. Youre in love with your roomie? I nearly trip over my Calculus textbook as I head back to the comfort of my mattress. No! I just think shes really My eyes dart to the bathroom. Its gone suspiciously silent. I bet if I opened the door, they would fall over from where they were eavesdropping. I clear my throat, hiss, You know. Poor Rafael. She doesnt seem to worship you. No, she doesnt. Stop laughing. Its not funny. A beat of silence. I said, stop laughing. Its not funny. Yes, it is. No, it isnt. I have faith that youll win out in the end. My turn to preen. I know. Thats why she isnt worshiping you. Whatever, I say, exasperated. The end justifies the means. Uh huh, she says, not sounding very convinced. Well, honey, I have to go. So, perhaps, if your busy schedule allows it, youll call me in less than a month? Maybe this week? Because if not, Ill call you in the middle of one of your classes. And she hangs up. Tessa hates saying good-bye; she finds it redundant, as she expects that if she bothered to call someone, they will most defiantly call her back. I roll my eyes. About halfway through the circular motion, I see Jessie walk out the bathroom. Who was that?

Jeez. You know, Jessie could have taken some blue paint and painted her legs, and it would be as revealing as the jeans shes wearing. I mean, I can see everything. Montgomery? And then, as if thats not enough, shes wearing this white tank top. And its made out of something with the same properties of a rubber band and the clinginess of well, once I went swimming and this crab grabbed onto my toe and didnt let g for like ten minutes. My sister almost peed on herself laughing. Montgomery? Her hair, for the first time, is down and straightened. Personally, I like it better with the natural waves, but this is fine, too. Raffie! Jessica, I say automatically. Then, What? Who was that? I narrow my eyes. Dont you know? You sounded pretty chummy to me. Too chummy. Wasnt enough time for introductions, She says breezily. Is she an obsessive ex? Nope. She sounded too sane. A friend? Yeah I trail off. Ah, what did she say about me? All the girls snicker, but none volunteer any information. Evas done fussing with her hair. Hah. Jareds going to flip when he sees that skirt. Is that even a skirt? More like a scrap of leftover cloth. And shes wearing high heels, too. I glance at Anne. Are you going? No, She said. Not my thing. She smiles when she sees Im about to protest. I have a pile of movies that me and a couple of my friends are going to see. Fun, I say. Jessie sits on the ground and reaches for a pair of sneakers, and I grin. I dont think Ive ever seen Jessie wear anything but sneakers. She bends forward, and I wince as her pant line sinks a bit lower. She better not do something like that at the dance. Because someone might see her. Not that Im possessive. Or obsessive. Or easily jealous.

Out of pure curiosity, I knock over a random pen on my bed. It lands a bit in front of her. Crap, I say. She bends forward even more to pick it up. Yep. Shes wearing a thong, too. Is there a dress code? I ask hopefully. She snorts. What have you been smoking? I take that as a no. Why? Nice thong. She turns bright red. Dont forget to pick Marie up, was her parting shot as she stalked out the room. Oh, yeah. Whoops. Would you look at that? I was supposed to pick her up like ten minutes ago. 0o0o0o0o0 When I pick her up, Marie takes one look at my set face and keeps unerringly quiet. A first. In fact, the awkward silence lasted until I took Jessies advice and dumped Marie a block away from the party. Marie didnt bother saying anything. Enough people saw her with me to satisfy her. However, she WAS annoyed that she didnt bring any money with her, because shed thought I was paying. Yeah. We had to pay ten bucks to get in. When I leave her, she doesnt say anything, and she doesnt seem that pissed, because when I glanced over my shoulder, she was busy chatting up some poor shmuck that looked like he didnt know what had hit him. Poor, unsuspecting guyand unfortunately, I suspect hell be ten dollars poorer in a few minutes. Entering the bar, I see that all the tables have been shoved against the wall, and teens are dancing in the middle as loud music crashes over me. Judging by the people going up and down the stairs, its safe to say that the restaurant that occupies the two floors above this are being used as well. I turned around after paying the ten dollar fee at the door (haha, Marie has to pay it herself, because I refuse to), and connected eyes with Jared. He smiled and subtly tilted his head to the left. I glance in that direction and see Jessie in the corner of the room, smiling and talking to some guy. You know what? Maybe the dance shouldnt have been co-ed. Because there are just

too many guys around Jessie right now. Damn it! Theres another guy! See what I mean? This cute girl that looked so young she had to be a freshman passed by me, doubled back, and smiled at me. Hey, she said coyly. Well, okay, I think Ill survive co-ed. Hey, I say back, smiling at her. About an hour later, all the non-serious partiers have gone home, and the more hard-core people have stayed. The music has gotten louder, the adult supervisors are sitting outside and are talking, completely oblivious to the mass of teenagers. I step outside for a breath of fresh air. Its a beautiful night, warm, clear, and with the faintest of breezes. There are still people coming to the party, the ones that waited till it would be in full swing. Hey, I hear. I turn around. Its Eva. Getting a bit more wild, isnt it? Yeah, I say, smiling. Im surprised that no ones spiked the drinks yet. Eva snickers. If it happens, tell Jessie. I cock an eyebrow. She winces. Lets just say that she cant really handle her alcohol. The last time well we got her off the table, but we couldnt find her shirt. And thats supposed to make me WANT to warn her? Eva must have accurately read the interest in my eyes, because she says sharply, Dont even think about it, Montgomery. I feign innocence. Me? Jared stepped out a moment later, and his eyes narrowed. Eva. Rafael. Wow. Did you feel that? The temperature just dropped ten degrees. Cool. I bet if I touched Eva right now, it would drop another five. But Im not dumb enough to test that hypothesis. Jared, Eva mutters tightly. When Jared didnt move, she said, What? Im trying to hold a conversation over here. Jared scowled at her. Do you have a problem with me standing here?

That implies I care, Eva shot back. At that point, I start to inch my way back to the room. Just in case the two of them start a fist fight or something. Look, Jared, the only reason I tolerate you is because you are one of my best friends brother. Otherwise, youre another cock player whos pissed because I turned you down. Jared takes three steps towards her. I take three steps away. Tolerate? He says dangerously. Dont you fucking use that word on me, Eva. Eva seems to realize shes gone too far, because she throws a panicked look at me. Im currently about two steps away from the door. I shrug and, with only a small qualm, leave the two of them to go back in. Hell no am I going to referee that one. I go back in, and I feel my eyes narrow when I see Jessie dancing with another guy. This is the ninth one. And it isnt any dance. Its a full body grind. I grit my teeth, tell myself that its her business and Im not going to interfere. Ah. Screw that. Im about to start forward whenYo, Jareds voice comes from behind me. I turn around. And wince. Theres a pretty clear imprint of a hand on Jareds cheek. Eva works fast. She hits pretty hard, he says, his voice void of emotion. I can tell, I say dryly. What, you were dumb enough to kiss her? He scowls at me. I guess he did. She kissed me back, He muttered. Until she hit you, I point out. I glance around the room. Whered she go? Who cares? He explodes, not caring that quite a few heads turn our way. If shes going to be such a frigid bitch, then I dont care! If a guy says that he doesnt care about a girl with her handprint on his face and a slightly wild look in his eyes, its pretty safe to bet your last dollar that hes a liar. But I dont say that. All I say is, This would be a good time to get drunk. I know, I know. A bad thing for a friend to say to another. But, seriously, it IS a good time. Because he doesnt have much to lose. Jared sighs. Nothing around here, he said gloomily. They keep the shit well locked up. He reaches out and taps a random girl on the shoulder. Wanna dance? Hell yeah, She says.

I start wandering through the crowd; its obvious that Jareds going to forget his problems by playing around with every girl in the room. Its a dumb thing to do, as it never really goes over well with the girl who caused it all in the first place, but as long as Jared doesnt put the moves on Jessie, he can play anyone he wants. Im not his mother or anything. But then I see Eva in the corner, talking in furious undertones with Jessie, who reached out. Eva knocked her hand out the way, turns abound, and vanished into the throng, only to emerge dancing with some guy. Jessie stared after her, hurt etched in her face. Thats when I realize that Eva just told Jessie that her crush kissed her. Crap. Jessie isnt having the best of nights, is she? I make my way for her; it helps, being one of the taller people. I can actually see people. I reach Jessie, but shes already dancing with another guy. Is she trying to kill me or something? Seriously. I finally get to her, just as the song changes to the club version of Frankie J.s obsession. I make eye contact with the guy Jessies unaware of me at the moment and give a sharp tilt of his head that clearly said, fuck off. He did so with alacrity. Before Jessie can turn around in confusion like, um, there was a guy behind me a moment ago I slide behind her, rest my hand on her hip, firm enough that she (hopefully) wouldnt see who was behind her. (I REALLY didnt want my foot to be stomped on again), and hope that she doesnt really care about who shes dancing with. She doesnt. And I can say, form first hand experience that she can dance. I dont mean just swaying to the music, I mean full body. Hips, arms, butt (hehe) and hell no will she going to dance with another guy after this. Dibs for the night. Because obviously, the guys like her. And no, it hasnt escaped my notice that she only dances with the Average Joes. Though a lot of guys were asking her (me, watching her the whole time? What? No.) she would say no and leave them looking all disappointed. I mean, think about it. Shes got that lithe body, and when she gets into the rhythm of the song well, lets just say that the idea of getting her drunk is getting more and more appealing, except for the fact that there are other guys around her. So maybe Ill just do it in private Just kidding. I value my life.

And for now, Im just going to enjoy this. Until, about halfway into the song, I just had to say something. Absently, I lean my head forward and whisper, Hey, Jessie. Thanks for saving me a dance. Her rhythm falters for a moment, then she tries to pull away, but I slide my fingers in the belt loops of her jeans and tug her back. Nuh-uh. You owe me. Unless you want to tell me who the guy is? She hesitates, then shows her answer by continuing to dance. Jared kissed Eva a few minutes ago. Her elbow neatly catches me in the stomach. Rubbing it in my face? Ah. It talks. No, I say. Just want to let you know there are more guys out there. I know there are, Jessie says sweetly. Three of their numbers are in my pocket. It was only a small struggle to slip my hand into her skin-tight pocket and extract the folded tips of paper. Before Jessie could snatch them back. Id tossed them on the floor amid the packed bodies. No way would she find them now. Rafael! Jessie hisses, outraged, jerking away from me and spinning around to glare at me. One of them was cute! Nice to know youre so pained about Jared. Hurt flashes in her eyes, and she turns around to leave, but stops abruptly when she realizes shes facing the wall. By the time shes turned around, Im right there. Im sorry, I mutter grudgingly. Considering how loud the music is, I doubt she heard me, but she read my lips. She sags against the wall. You knew, didnt you? What? That Jared wasnt interested in me. If I said yes, it would have implied that wed talked about her. Im not about to go into that territory I left my body armor back home. I take a step forward, so theres barely an inch between out bodies. Jessie kind of plasters herself against the wall, but since the wall isnt moving anytime soon, nor is she. Im sorry, I repeat. She pushes at my chest. Back up, she says.

My gaze drops to her lips. Shes wearing that peach lip gloss. I wonder if they taste as good as they smell. Or look. I dip my head forward Rafe! Jessie says, panicked. She claps a hand over my mouth. No! I dont want to! I lick her hand. Her eyes widen in surprise and she drops her hand a few inches. Good enough for me. I lean forward again, but she turns her head away quickly. I swear, if you dont stop, Im going to kick she trails off with a sharp gasp as I bite her neck gently, then suckle gently. She grabs my hair and pulls. Which hurts, but quite frankly, I dont care. Rafe her voice comes out strangled. Wha what no, not here Im tempted to tell her that we can most defiantly continue somewhere more private, but that would mean stopping. I scrape my teeth against her skin lightly, and she makes a low sound. I cant here it, but I feel her throat vibrate slightly and, rather than using her handful of hair to pull me away, shes trying to tug me closer. I oblige without any misgivings, one arm around her waist, the other around the nape of her neck. I know that when I let go, theres going to be a red mark on her neck. Which is my intention. Because, well, you can think of a hickey like a ring. Its pretty out there for all to see, and it says that the person that has said hickey is taken and offlimits. The next thing I know, shes twisting away. Reluctantly, I let her, even back up a step. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly, and she looks so sexy with her flushed cheeks and dilated eyes. Jessie, I said gently. Look at me. She swallowed, looked into my eyes, and fell instantly in love with me. Ah, hell. Who am I kidding? She wasnt going to look at me unless someone held a gun to her head or something. Even her EARS were turning red. So, using my grip on her waist, I slide my grip from her nape to her chin and a bit forcefully try to make her look at me. Jessie, I said, Face it. We Why do I bother to try? I have to wonder that when a brief flicker of sanity hits me. Because at that point, she looked past my shoulder she still hasnt looked at me, damn it! and turns I kid you not pale. People dont turn pale everyday. Quiet frankly, the only time Ive ever seen anyone turn pale was when well. I dont remember. People turn red, mottled, flushed, and pissed, but blood draining from the face? Never seen it. Until now. Because Jessie was pale. Waxy, sickly, and scared.

Jessie? I said, shocked. Aw, cmon, Im not that bad She bolted. Theres no other word for it. One second she was in my arms, right where she should be, and the next ZIP! Out the door. I swear to God, it was like the movies, because when I tried to follow her, everyone just seemed to get into my way. After a few vicious jabs of the elbow, and a few good shoves, I finally made it out the door, past Jared who was in lip lock with some random girl. Poor guy. Ill deal with him later, but right now I had more pressing concerns. Jessie! I yell out, but besides my echo and the background noise from the party, theres no sound out on the streets. I turned a full circle, peering into he shadows. Where the hell could she have left? She had to go down this street, and there was no one. And trust me. I searched. 0o0o0o0o0 The last time shed done this, she climbed through the window at whatever hour in the morning after hanging out with her boyfriend. But, shed been so panicked about something. She didnt have a boyfriend. At least, she better not. Eva had no idea what was going on. Anne was worried. Jared was hung over. Guess he found the alcohol. Okay. That last bit of news didnt really have any relevance to Jessies disappearance. Should I tell a supervisor? Heck no. That always ends badly. Always. But I couldnt find her anywhere. Id combed the streets, the school, everywhere. She wasnt answering her cell (big surprise) and this was driving me crazy. I leaped up from the bed and paced back and forth. I heard my cell ring and all but dived for it. Picking it up, I said, Hello? Crap, Anne said from the other end of the line. Its almost two in the morning. This isnt like Jessie. Actually it was, but if Jessie didnt tell her friends everything, I sure as hell am not gonna get into that. Look, I say. Call when you have something tangible, okay? And I snapped the phone shut.

Damn. That was rude. But I had a reason, so Ill apologize later. After Jessies back. My musing is interrupted by loud voices in the hallway. In a few long strides, Ive grabbed the doorknob and am about to twist the thing off, when I recognize the voice. Dont think I didnt see you all over my boyfriend! Marie yells. I freeze. As much as I really dont want to see Marie right now, I automatically felt bad for whomever she was tearing into. So I hesitate, debating whether to intrude or let the catfight progress when I hear: Hes not your boyfriend. Please leave me alone. Jessie. I was out of that room like a bullet, just in time to see the two girls facing each other in the hallway. Marie was standing between me and Jessie, her back to me, while Jessie was facing me, but she didnt notice me. Marie raises her hand as if she were going to slap Jessie. Jessie, I summed up in a quick glance, was staring down, all that lovely hair tumbing over her face so I couldnt see what was wrong with her. Then Maries hand descended down You thought I ran out the room quickly? Hah. Somehow, I found myself right behind Jessie, and I grab her arm and yanked her out the way, and Maries hand, well, somehow landed on my cheek instead. I guess I kinda shoved Jessie behind me or something, Because the next thing I know, Jessie lets out this whimper of pain and Marie lets out a whimper of horror. Forget Marie. I turn to Jessie. Damn it, whats I trail off when I see faint bruises on her arm. Shit! Did I just do that? But how could I have? I didnt grab her that hard. Jessie? Jessie, look at me. She kept her gaze on the floor, and behind me I heard footsteps that indicated that Marie had hightailed it out of there. I put gentle fingers under her chin, and tilted it up. Jessie, where I broke off. I stared. I cursed. And my vision went fucking red.

Because, as Jessies face went up (reluctantly), her hair slid back to reveal blank eyes, a still pale face. But that was the least of my worries. Jessie had a large, fresh bruise on her cheek. Almost as if someone had, well, backhanded her viciously across the face. That someone was going to die.Who did this? Jessie tried to skirt around me. I blocked her. Look, Montgomery, I just want to go to bed. She sounds tearful. Damn. So much for intimidation. Jessie, I say, trying to gentle my tone. Its a bit difficult while coming up with ways to torture people without getting caught by the Police. What happened? I reach out I dont know, maybe to touch her hair, cup her jaw, pull her into a hug. She flinches. And I swear, that small movement shocked me. Right to the core. Because, after that, there is NO way I will believe that she fell down or something. I justfell, she mumbles. With that, the hurt from the flinch, as involuntary as it may have been, turned into anger. She wont tell me what the hell is going on, so I cant fix it, but shell flinch away from me? You just flinched, I say wonderingly, then I narrow my eyes. You thought I was going to fucking HIT you? No! She cries out, and she looks like shes on the verge of tears. Of course not. I I was just I fake-lunge at her, and she backs away, her eyes going wide with fright. Usually, she would have attacked me for that. But all she does is retreat as fast as possible. Oh, man, something fucked her up. Jessie I say slowly. Whoever did this scares you. Someone you hate. Someone you said reminds you of me. The words taste bitter on my tongue. She just stares at me with those pretty brown eyes of hers. Kinda like a does. One thats staring into headlights.

I continue to search my memory of all the little things shes done, hoping that Im right. That either Ill figure something out or shell break down. Errr probably the former. Its a guy. So what about me reminds you of him? A bit of a player. Maybe looks like me. I pause. Babe. You hated it when I called you that. Does he call you that, too? She doesnt answer, just walks around me and into our room. I stalk after her and slam the door shut. A moment later, I lunge to close and block the bathroom door as well when she tries to slip into it Dont bother, I say pleasantly. I would have broken the lock. I glance down, at her arms. There are also ones on her right forearm. Those bruises, I say, a bit puzzled. I reach out carefully, and, without pressing, align my fingers on them. To don so comfortably, it seemed like I would have had to be holding her arm in a position frighteningly similar to Did someone pin your arms behind your back? Jeez, there were two people in on this? She says nothing. Did they? I yell. Yes! She screams back. A fucking coward on top of that. Maybe looks a bit like me, says babeHe told you about me, I guess. Which means I know him. I state that. Because I have to know him. Davidson, I muse. Davidson, Davidson, Davidson Oh, fucking hell! I curse as I realize who it was. Youre Michael Davidsons sister? Jessie bursts into tears. 0o0o0o0o0 I told you about Michael. I know I did. Michael Davidson; Id punched him in the face in eighth grade for roughing up one of my ex-girlfriends. Hed caught her on rebound, using his greasy charm and pretty-boy face to charm her, then abuse her. Emotionally, then one day, he crossed the line to physical. Which is when I tackled him to the ground and given him a beautiful black eye. Hed switched schools a week later. He has a habit of messing up in one school, and using his parents money to dance on to the next one. I think it would be safe to say there was no love lost between us. He hated me because he saw me as competition. Please. He was nothing. Because his parents distantly knew mine, I heard that about four years ago his parents divorced, and his father won custody of him (I dont know why)

and he remarried soon afterwards. Id heard things about the bride having her own child, but Id never given the gossip a second thought. How ironic that said child is crying into my shoulder. Well, she was. After only like five seconds, she gulps down the rest of her tears. Isnt that supposed to be unhealthy? I know, Im being a hypocrite. Having this insane urge to murder Michael probably wasnt all too healthy, either. Maybe you should just cry it out, I venture. Ive seen people go through this before, and it always helps to just let it go. She shakes her head as well as she could with it still buried into me. I tighten my arms around her at some point Id carefully wrapped them around her. Do you want me to get Anne? Or She shakes her head again. I cant face them, she mumbles. They know, dont they? I remember Anne telling me that Jessie had a reason for not liking me. She tries to pull away, but I think shes just fine where she is. Yeah, a bit of it, she says. She reaches up to touch her cheek, winces. Ice, I say. You need ice. I start to move with the intention of calling Anne and asking her to sneak into the nurses office, but Jessie grabs onto my arm. Dont go! She says desperately. Im not going anywhere, I promise. I just need to ask Anne to get more ice. When she opens her mouth, I add, I wont let her in. You dont have to see her. She drops my arm and heads straight for bed, sliding under the covers and curling up into a tight ball. I dial Annes number, and she picks up immediately. Is she back? Yeah, I say, but shes really not up for company. Could you please get some ice and drop it off by me? I owe you, I add, and hang up the phone on her startled response. It was only about three minutes wait till she arrived breathless and tired-looking with the ice. Hey, it was like three in the morning or something. During that time, I sat on Jessies bed, one hand stroking her hair, the other one balled in a fist. Sometimes, people change. Most dont; because they dont have the will or inclination. Michael has neither. Pale hair, pale face,

with eyes that were oddly flat, he wasnt by any chance even in the leagues below me, but some girls still dated him. And, unfortunately, one of my exs. But I handled that; hoped the impression would last. Apparently it didnt; not long enough to help Jessie. After handing Jessie the ice, she dabbed it at her cheek. Do you know who put the bruises on your arm? I say quietly. No she takes an ice chip out of the bag and sucks on it. I thithint thee hith fathe. Translation: she saw his face, doesnt want to tell me. Quite frankly? Ill worry about that later. What I care about is Michael. Why did he hit you? She shrugs. Jessie I say warningly. Look. There are two ways for me to find out. One, I find out from you. Two, I find out from Michael. Like he would tell. I would make him, I say softly, more to myself than in response to her question. She sits up abruptly. Look, she says in a low voice. You two seem to have known each other a while ago, but I dont want anyone to get involved with this. Itll only get worse. He hit you because you were with me? I asked, but shed lapsed into silence. Why the hell arent your parents helping you? Theres a period of silence, and Im ready to launch the next question (why didnt you send Michael to the hospital years ago?) when she says mellifluously, His dad doesnt know. My mother I think she might suspect something, but she keeps quiet. Because she doesnt want anything to come into her marriage. Michael has everyone in the family on their knees in front of him; one word from me and Ill be labeled a liar. John Moms husband, mystep dad went against the family when he married my mother. After that, she would say no more. She fell asleep soon afterwards, and I went to bed myself, only to be woken up a few hours later when she cried out from a bad dream. I went to her, did my best to comfort her. After the third time, I gave up on any hopes of sleeping and just slid in bed next to her for a (celibate) comfort cuddle. She slept well and woke up tired and a bit down, but being her normal sarcastic self (she woke me up by kicking me off her bed, yelling something about perverted guys). Me? I was sleep-deprived and bent on revenge. Bad combination.

0o0o0o0o0 Armed with a deadly calm expression and the sheet of paper Anne had given to me with Jared's room number written on it (he had his cell phone turned off) I stormed through the double door's of the guy's boarding school. As it was Sunday, there were only a few students milling around the hallway. All of them got out of my way. Reaching Jared's door, I pounded on it. "Jared!" I yelled. "Open the effing door!" He jerked it open when I tried to pound on it again, resulting in me accidentally punching him in the shoulder. "Owww..." He whined. "Jesus, are you PMSing too? Keep the damn noise down!" He looks a bit hung over. I push past him, grab his roommate, a slender boy with black hair, unceremoniously throw him out into the hallway and slam the door behind him. I spin around. "Why the hell didn't someone tell me Jessies stepbrother went to this school?" He blinked. "What? Actually, it's Jessie's brother. Her step dad adopted her a few months ago. She's just in denial. And he doesn't go here. There are several guys whose last name's are Davidson, but none of them are..." He trails off, grabs his cell, turns it on and jabs a few buttons. "Yo," he says a moment later. "Hack into the school system for me." Silence. Youre already in they system? A pause. "Well, then, screw fixing your grades. Check if anyone named Davidson, Michael is registered in the school. He should be a... senior?" He raises his eyebrows at me. I nod tightly. "No senior? Try the whole school." He glances towards me. "It's possible her dear brother jut popped by for a little visit and staying at the hotel over on... What? He says in disbelief into the phone. A sophomore? Have you heard anything about him?" Silence. "Room 659?" more silence. Then his face twisted up. "An older bully. Damn it, why didn't anyone say anything to me? This is MY school!" He hangs up abruptly. A sophomore? Idiot. Even I made it to senior year without failing anything. "What did he do?" Jared asked. "He bother you?" "No. I wouldn't care about that. The point is, Jessie's all depressed back at her room with a huge bruise on her cheek."

There's a moment of silence, then some vicious cursing from his side. "Then why are you here instead of with her?" "Because," I ground out, "She's got Anne. And Eva. And some other girls I don't know, and I spent all last night with her. Now, I want to have a little talk with him." "He's still alive?" Jared asked in disbelief. "Once I tripped Jessie as a joke. I had a black eye for the next two weeks!" Atta girl. I think someone was holding onto her arms. Jareds hands ball into fists. Ill help you with Michael, and you can have him all to yourself, if I get the other guy. You know who it is? I ask. Im sure Michael will squeal after a few hits. As with my experience he wailed even before my fist landed, I was forced to agree. Up ahead, an irritated bellow echoes around the hall. Crap, Jared mutters. He grabs my arm and ducks into the conveniently nearby bathrooms. Keep your voice down. WTF? I ask under my breath. Our principal, Jared mutters. Hes out of his fucking mind, and he has to eat Twizzlers every day or he PMSs. He PMSs? We think he might have been a woman, but then he got a sex change. Jared shrugs. Its all speculation. No one really wants to know. But the thing is, its a really popular prank to steal his stash of candy. He goes ballistic. Theres a noise, and some boy comes out the stall. Um, whats going on? He asks in a high, nervous voice. (cough) Freshman alert! (cough)

Someone took the Twizzlers, Jared said. Stay in here for a minute or two. Ah. Rafael, this is Davey. Dave, this here is Rafael. Montgomery? The little guy asks in amazement. Yeah. I grin, and I think it scared him. I didnt mean to, I just had a mental image of Michael falling off a cliff. Theres a thudding noise. Damn, did ya hear that? Jared said. Ican hear, I say. Lets pin it on old Mikey. Sure, Jared agrees. He puts his ear to the door. Okay. Its safe. I shot out the door, with Jared hot on my heels. I pass the numbers as I pass them. 656, 657, 658659. I hesitate, fully prepared to just crash the door open, but Jared, once again, grabs my arm. No heart attacks, he says. Lets make sure hes in there first. I flatten myself a few feet away against the wall as Jared knocks on the door. It creaks open, and a familiar surly voice says, What? I dig my nails into my palm. Jareds voice is mad pleasant. I wanted to ask you if your roommate was here. No, hes out The voice stopped when Jared gave a tremendous shove and stepped into the room. Coming? Jareds voice floats out. I walk in just as Michael, lying on the floor, says, What the hell was His voice died away when he saw me walk into the room. Hey, look! He turned pale, too! I would say it was hereditary, but this asswipe wasnt related by blood to Jessie, so I guess not. He looks the same; solid built, dark blond hair, those pale, watery eyes, and a face that most would call pretty. Im sure quite a few girls have gone for him. Until they realized what an ass he is, always has been, and always will be. Hey, Davidson. Its a small world, isnt it? I feel a rather unpleasant smile come across my face. I guess the last time I kicked your ass wasnt enough warning to make you stop hitting girls, now was it? Jared looks surprised, and I shoot him a look that promises a later explanation.

After getting over his initial shock, he scrambled to his feet and took a wild swing at me, which I blocked by grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back, forcing him into an awkward kneeling position. When he cursed and struggled, I twisted harder and he squealed just like I said he would like a pig. Ow! He yelled. What the fuck is your problem? Now Im beginning to understand how he got held back twice. How dense can this kid get? Jared raises his eyebrows and I nod. He grabs onto Michaels arms and pins him in place. I grab Michaels lowered head, pull it up by the hair, and ram my fist into the same cheek that Jessie had been hit on. Michaels head snapped back, and when his eyes met mine, I saw the understanding and hatred in them. No love lost there Have to have another pretty boy hold me back? He sneers. Someone held Jessie back, I say, smiling. And draw my fist back again. I hit him in the mouth, and his lip splits. So the little bitch tattled? He says thickly. Quite frankly, I cant detail what happened after that; I lost a bit of control. Just a little bit well, okay. A lot. And I only hit his face, because I wanted him to know, without a doubt, how it is to be helpless and in pain. I dont think I stopped until Jared, out of nowhere, grabs me and hauls me back. Okay, He says calmly, but I can tell he still looks really pissed. Dont kill him. Bastard, I hiss. Yeah. A bloody one. I glance at Michael. Hes still on the floor, blood all over from his lip, what seems to be a cut on his cheek (hah!) and two impressive shiners. Like, I rarely fight (I usually dont have to resort to that to get my way) but I have to say I did a nice job. Michael lifts his head, and he makes this horribly freaky smile. You wont always be around to protect her, he says, spitting out a stream of blood.

And then the stupid blockhead called Jessie something I never want to hear repeated again. This time, Jared beat me to it, and gives a powerful punch to his stomach. Michael gives this little hurp-ing noise, then Jared glanced at the mess on the carpet and his face goes slightly green. I think I know who stole and ate the Headmasters Twizzlers, he says, and dashes to the bathroom to empty his own stomach. I swallow hard. Blood, no problem. Vomit is another story. Like, my family used to get on road trips, and the engine would barely start up and my sister would go green. Then we learned to duck down, especially if she sat near you. As it was a carshe sat near everyone. All that stuff about what doesnt kill you makes you stronger? Bullshit. I was TRAUMATIZED. Still am. After Jareds done, we sneak out the room after a few more punches get us a promise that were safe from any assault charges he might want to press, and that the other guy that had held Jessie pinned was a junior named Joey something-or-other. Jared walked with me towards the exit, and slants me a look. Youre not going to tell anyone, right? At first I thought that he meant about the fight, and then I realized he meant the hurling. Nah, I say. That was pretty gross, wasnt it? Jared nodded. I mean, did you see all that red shit in there? He musta like swallowed that shit whole, cuz those chunks were I didnt hear the rest, as Id run over to the nearby bushes and lost my breakfast. I glare at Jared, and he shrugs sheepishly. I wont tell if you dont tell, I mutter. He nodded, and then he went off to do whatever and I walked back to the girls school. Jessie wasnt in the room, so I spent the next ten minutes brushing my teeth. After that, I went back on the road to get some chocolate. According to Jessie, the girls will be PMSing, and I refuse to share a room with one, especially if there isnt any chocolate around to distract them while I run away. As I pass by the boys school, I glance up at the sixth floor and think of Michael. Which makes me think of the mess. Which makes my stomach turn.

Im telling you. Jumping people just isnt what it used to behapter 12 A Mi Cuaderno, The little bastard HIT me. And I didnt do shit. Well, actually I did do something: I panicked. And I dont know if Im more pissed about that or the whole hitting thing. And Im going to have to tell Mom. Because this is bullshit. Michael said that if I said anything, it would ruin the marriage between mom and John. I mean, what marriage? After Dad got killed, mom blamed it on the seedy neighborhood, moved out, and, dragging me kicking and screaming, married herself off to the first rich single guy she could find. And she said shed done it to protect me. Please. A rich person has just as much of a chance at being hit by a car or stung by a bee as a poor one. I had been with Rafaeland I refuse to say what he was doing Jeez! Im blushing! I can feel it! and I look over his shoulder and Michaels there, just staring at me with those evil eyes that I really want to poke out one day. So I kind of panicked and tried to leave. Which was really just straight out idiotic. Because if Id stayed there, he wouldnt have been able to do anything. But I just got so scared that I ran. I dont even know why I got so scared of him. I mean, hes freaky, but Im usually cool. I bet it was all because of those nightmares. Hed creeped me out ever since we were first introduced (about a week before the wedding, does that say something about the courtship?), and one day, when I was going through some file cabinets (nosy, I know) I came across this psychological analysis that Michael had. I read into it; and according to Dr. Somethingor-other, he has a violent tendancy towards authortive female figures who hold power. Like, mothers. Teachers. Superiorly intelligent sisters. And whoopie, I had a nightmare that night. Still have them sometime, which is why, I think, I panicked. Because in the dreams, Michael pretty much degrades me, but I always wake up right before he hits me or something. What actually happened, after I ran out, was that someone grabs me from behind and holds me. Not difficult as I mentioned, I froze like a rabbit. AndMichael just startedwell, lecturing me. It was really scary. He just told me, very calmly but with this scary glint in his eyes, that Rafael was this really bad guy that hed told me about before, and that, for my safety, I shouldnt associate with him. Because, hadnt I heard that Montgomery was

a player? That he enjoyed toying with girls that were stupid enough to fall for him? Then he asked me if it was true I was in the same room with him. When I didnt say anything, he just snapped and next thing I know, he hits me. And the whole time, he was just standing there with this odd little smile. I mean, after a moment or two of being in total shock, I got my act together, got away from them leaving a couple bruises (hopefully) and just...well, wandered around. Which was pretty dumb considering what had just happened, but I wanted to just be alone to think about what the hell had just happened. And I remember thinking: how the HELL could I have associated Rafael with this ass? Jessie 0o0o0o0o0 A fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon, huh? Beating up peopleah, just another day. And trust me, the day was long from over. There was a lot of shit that Jessie has yet to tell me; what was the deal with her family, how long shes let Michael pick on her (One punch from her and hes a goner; I just have to convince Jessie of that) and My cell phone rings. I jump. Then I jump to pick it up. Its Dave, my cousin. Holy crap, he says excitedly into the receiver. I er - accidentally broke into some police records for Jessica Davidson. She has a rap list? I ask in disbelief. Then, I dont remember telling you about her! AhTessa told me She sounds confident that something was going on between the two of you. Since when do you talk to Tessa? I ask in disbelief. At this rate, I wouldnt be surprised if I fount out that one of my teachers was the parent (or grandparent) of one of my old girlfriends. She wanted your new E-mail address. Oh, right. I have a bad habit of making new ones and abandoning old ones because the spam (from girls as well as companies) is just overwhelming. So, Jessie has a police record? No, He says impatiently, just basic records. Birthday, December 14

Consider the date filed. ahborn Chicago. Ah, description, you know, mother, Sue Davidson, father, Alexander Bathas. Get a load of this one: her mother is married to the father of that jackass kid who you punched a few years ago! You remember, M - ichael, I finish for him glumly. Why couldnt my dumb cousin hack into stuff when I needed it? About twelve hours ago and it would have actually been useful. He pauses. You knew? Now I do, I say, and give him an abbreviated version of what happened. When Im done, theres a silent pause, broken by a low whistle. Well, you got him good. Told you that learning to fight would pay off. His idea of teaching me how to fight was to one day, when I was in fifth grade, randomly punch me in the face, THEN teach me how to defend myself and fight back. Yes, if you were wondering, I MAY have forgotten the mention that I ah, you know. But that was all Jareds fault, anyway. I continue, Does she have anything on her medical record? He knows what I mean. Theres a tense moment, then: Nothing. Hey, from what Ive heard of Jessie, she doesnt let anyone mess with her. That was probably the first time. That was a good point. Ah, I say. Andone more thing. What happened to her father? A silence. Hold up, that means I have to go into Theres another silence. Give me a moment. In the meantime, what exactly is going on between you and Jessie? Nothing, really. Liar. Tension, I mutter. Nothing more, nothing less. Are you going to do anything?

Yes, I say indignantly, But she isnt exactly the type of person that can be easily pushed, manipulated, bullied, blackmailed, backed up into, influenced, controlled, cornered, or Found it, He says, interrupting me. He got killed. During a robbery of a convenience store, apparently, about five years ago. Theres a newspaper article on it. Want me to send it to you? No, I decide. Id rather hear it from her. He sighs. Thats fucked up. No wonder shes pissed at her parents. Howd you know about THAT? I snipe. Well, wouldnt you be? Eh. Good point. Jessie comes in, stops when she sees me on the phone. I wave at her. Look, I have to go, I say. Call me if you hear anything, okay? I hang up the phone. Whats up? She looks really tired, a bit pale, which makes the bruise stand out even more. I just checked my email, she said, sighing, And there were like a hundred from my parents trying to tell me about Michael being transferred into the boys school on late notice. A bunch of calls on my cell also had the same message. Crap, I try to just ignore them. Bad idea, I comment, but my mind is whirling. Michael got transferred in late? Was he the kid who took that extra room, which resulted in me having to stay at the girls school? I fucking had to thank HIM for meeting Jessie? Whatever deity or whatever was up there sure has a twisted idea of irony sometimes About last night Jessie starts, but her cell rings. She pulls it out of her pocket bad-temperedly, glances at the screen, and bites her lip. Is it Michael? I ask. No She starts edging out the room. I reach the door before she does, slam it shut, and lean against it. Answer it and put it on speakerphone. No! You do it or I do it.

She stares at me so long, I think the answering machine might pick it up. But she reluctantly clicks a few buttons. Michael. Hey, babe, he says, his voice sounding nasal. Kinda like someone broke it. What do you want? Jessie bites off viciously. Think youre so special, dont you? Fucking perfect. Youre a lot more chicken than I thought. Blabbing it all away to Montgomery. Its disgusting, that you guys share a room. His voice is pure fury now. What do you guys do? Do you Watch it, I say quietly. Despite the fact that Ive been staring at the phone, Id watched Jessie out of the corner of my eye, and she seemed a bit shaken. Theres a shocked pause. Montgomery? He squeaks. His voice cracks in the middle of it. Still going through puberty, are we? Explains a bit of the immaturity. Eh, immaturity is one word. I can think of more. Ones with some creative curses as well. Jessie snickers, then catches herself. Think thats funny? Do you even know what your pretty boy did? He Davidson, I warn quickly. Dont ask me whycall it male intuition, but I dont think Jessie would like it if she found out I, er, had a little heart-toheart talk with Michael. What? Jessie asks. Theres another pause. Then, Well, just wanted to say Im going to another school. As if he can see Jessie relaxing, he adds, Ill see you over winter break, eh? And he hangs up. I turn to Jessie. Youre going to Eh. Annes house has Jared. Another friends house, maybe? Eva? Inspiration hits. You should come over to my house instead. HAH! No. And she stalks out the room, muttering, I cant believe I panicked. The next time I see him Ill break his effing nose.

As much as I like the idea of Michaels nose being broken again (I recall a snapping noise when I punched him there at some point) well, about the whole staying at my house thingHey! I kinda like the idea 0o0o0o0o0 Later in the day, because Jessie didnt want to face anyone yet, we skipped dinner and just stayed in or room. Well, actually, SHE wanted me to leave, but I just happened to remember some homework I had to do. Coincidence? Of course not. You said that youve dealt withsomething like this before, Jessie said, But you never finished the sentence. She was holding an ice bag to her cheek in an effort to bring down the swelling because, in her words, shes sick of telling people she tripped. Every time I hear her say that to a concerned friend or whatever, Im tempted to go beat the shit outta Michael all over again. Honestly. Michael Davidson. Who woulda thought? I guess hes like a cockroach. Always lives another day. May he be stepped on soon. Amen. Yeah, I say, and grit my teeth when she puts the ice pack down with a little shiver. Im getting that violent urge again. Ironically, Michael abused one of my friends while they were going out. The memory still angers me. Does it hurt? She shrugs in a way that tells me it does. Its just really cold, she says, awkwardly. I get up, and, without a comment, get a washcloth from the bathroom and take the icepack from her lax grip. I wrap up the ice pack in the washcloth so the cold wont be as intense. Thanks, she says, reaching for it, but I ignore her outstretched hand, sit next to her, and, holding her head steady with one hand, and I slowly, gently press the pack to her cheek with the other hand. Its driving me crazy; I want to hold her, but for one thing, shes not the type that likes to cuddle that much at least with me, anyway and for another, Im nervous that shell flinch away from me or something like she did before. Jessie tensed when the cloth touched the bruise, but relaxed a moment later. Its better, she says in relief. She cuts her eyes to me. I can hold it myself, she points out. I know you can, I say shortly. Let her make something out of that. She did. Her mouth opened at the same time that her eyes narrowed. Bad combination. Look, Rafael, I can handle myself.

I let my eyes linger pointedly on her cheek. She scowled. I oh my God, what the hell happened to your knuckles? I glance at them. Oops. Theyre a bit bruised. Michael has a hard head. Its been like five hours since me and Jared went after him, and I hadnt even noticed. I closed the door on my hand, I say. Both of them? Time to change the subject. What were you telling me about taking care of yourself? What the hell is with your family? She sighed and slumped on the bed. I hate my family. She saw I was about to say something and shook her head. You obviously know Michael. Mystepfather You have the same last name, I say. He adopted you? Hes not me father, she insists forcefully. Okay. Topic for another day. She continues after waiting (in vain) for me to comment. My STEP-DAD is totally clueless, and he has this attitude that money can fix everything. I hate it. Oh, look, the vase got knocked over. Ill replace it. Oh, look, Michaels failing a class. Lets get the teacher fired. Oh, look, his girlfriend claims that he punched her. Lets pay her off! As Id seen the whole firing-the-teacher thing myself (eighth grade, hed switched schools a week later), I cant really say much, so I let her talk on. The words are spilling for her mouth, like shes been dying to say something but didnt dare to before. And my mom, God, Rafe, I cant stand her anymore. She used to be so awesome, and then my dad died, and SHE got the whole money-can-fixeverything attitude, and she became a gold digger. She halted, then sniffed. I need a tissue. Obligingly, I got up and got a wad of toilet paper. She blew her nose and tossed it into the wastebasket. Im sorry I was such a bitch to you. Me, too. Does that mean youll be nicer? I ask, half-teasing, half-serious. She shoots me a look. You still piss me off. Why? Because you you seem so damn perfect! She bursts out.

I shoot her a disbelieving look. Miss valedictorian. You got a hundred on that History test, and I really doubt you studied. Id gotten an eighty-eight. Grades arent everything, Montgomery, she says. Tossing the ice on the bed, she wanders over to the window, perches on the sill. Im sure you noticed that. Is that a subtle dig at my grades? Apparently not subtle enough. I smile, walk closer to her, and felt a rush of relief when she doesnt flinch away from me. Because that would have hurt, no matter how unintentional it was on her part. Cute, Jessie, very cute. She shrugs awkwardly. Whatever. I sigh. She looks so damn desolate, sitting there all sad with that big fucking bruise glaringly out of place. Hey, I say, laying a hand on her shoulder. Youre tough, Jessie. Youll get through this. Go me, she says bitterly. Im sick of feeling alone. I raise an eyebrow. Youre not exactly the school leper. She bites her lip. I mean, yeah, I have friends, but not the type that I can necessarily talk to. I really dont want to worry about people spreading rumors behind my back on top of everything else. Talk to Eva? I suggest. She shakes her head. Eva and I are not totally well, friendly right now. What happened? I ask, surprised. She shook her head. I DEFINITELY cant talk about that. Im tempted to prod further, but she seemed uncomfortable, so I drop it. Talk to Anne. She snorts. That girl gets burdened with everyones problems. Okay what about me? She gives me an odd look. What about you?

I resist the urge to groan. You can always talk to me. She chuckles, and then stops. Wait, are you for real? Yes, I grit out. Oh, she says, slightly shamefaced. Sorry. But no thanks. I narrow my eyes. I wouldnt talk about you behind your back. I know, She says honestly. But I dont totally feel comfortable around you. Why? Wow. Check out THAT blush. Because because She stammers out helplessly. Because I urge. It just doesnt work that way. What? Because you like me? I DONT LIKE YOU! She squeaks. I raise an eyebrow. Not every girl likes you. She says haughtily. Duh. Not every girl has MET me, you see. But, as Jessie has Dont lie, I say. Its getting annoying. As I knew it would, she bristled. Even if I did which Im not saying I do we cant do anything about it. Were sharing a room, damn it! Ummm isnt that an excellent reason to get together? No. Too much privacy. Privacy tends to be a good thing, I say cautiously. No, it isnt. Things get out of control. Amen to that.

Look. I know youre going through that time of the month, so maybe youre not feeling all too logical, but trust me, it would WORK. What would work? Insert a steady mental stream of exasperated curses. You. And me. She shakes her head. It wont work. Whats so bad about me? Whats so good about you? I let my gaze linger on her neck for a moment. She blushes. Shes been wearing her hair down the whole day. If you need more proof, I say, leaning in close, I could always just I feel a light pressure as my lips come in contact with hers, watch as her eyes, defiant a second ago, blur and go unfocused as her lids sink down. I angle my head slightly, and JESSICA! We both freeze. JESSICA! The noise seems to be coming fromoutside. I look out the window, and on the lawn, its Brad? Jessie gasps. I make a grab for her arm with some wild idea of dragging her into the bathroom where we cant be interrupted, but Jessie neatly evades me and sticks her head out the window. Brad? She calls out. I peer out, too. The idiot has something around his torso. It seems to be a banjo or something. As both of us watch in horrified fascination, he plucks a few random strings. Jessie! He yells. I love you! I resist the urge to crack my knuckles. He wont hear it, and the sound turns my stomach. Please take me back! Brad continues at the top of his voice. It was wrong of me, and I regret it with all my heart!

I dont. I supported that breakup, damn it! How embarrassing, Jessie mutters. Can this get any worse? Right on cue, Brad starts singing and strumming away. Im not even going to tell you the words, because for one thing, its unimportant, and for another, his voice mangled it so bad it was amazing I could pick up the tune (it sounds suspiciously like Barbie Girl) and the few pathetic lyrics he must have written himself. I clap my hands over my ears. The pain, I moan. Make it stop, Jessie. She glances at me doubtfully. What, you want me to say yes to him? Ye NO! I yelp. I glance around the room. There has to be SOMETHING ah. Theres a peach on Jessies desk. I pick it up, toss it up and down a few times to get used to the weight, then open the window as wide as I could. Yo, Brad! I call out. When he looks up, I pull my arm back and let fly. Did I mention I played baseball? Yeah. I was pitcher. The peach hit Brad square between the eyes, and he toppled over instantly. Jessie peers out the window. I think you knocked my ex-boyfriend out with the peach I was going to eat for lunch, she says wonderingly. Brad, though, must have had a skull thicker than the Berlin Wall, because about thirty seconds later, he blinks, sits up, and picks up where hed, ah, left off, except his caterwauling, if possible, has gotten worse. Im not even going to label it singing anymore. Hes indestructible, I say in total disgust, and look for something harder. Like an apple. I would even settle for a book. But before I can, theres the sound of a window opening, and a voice yelling, DEATH TO GUYS! I blink as what seems to be a box oftampons?shoots past towards where Brad is. I run to the window and watch in satisfaction as I see Brad covering his head as more and more things start to be thrown at him. I hear more windows open, and more things go flying. GO AWAY! LEAVE US ALONE! GUYS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Jessie smiles smugly as Brad finally gets the hint that hes not going to get his ex back anytime soon (EVER!) and starts running away across the lawn, still being pelted with random objects. Never annoy us females during the end of each month. I didnt say anything. My amusement at Brad being cowed by hormonal girls was tempered by the fact that, most likely, I would be next. Ill be staying in here for the rest of today, I announce. And, youre going to stay here and keep me company. Ive never seen Jessie exit a room so fast. Ah, well. Ill finish up that little interlude another time. 0o0o0o0o0 I sit up in bed abruptly. The room is dark, my alarm clock shows that its one in the morning, and theres a dark shadow trying to sneak past me. I grab onto a random handful of PJs and pull Jessie hard onto my lap. Where do you think youre going? I hadnt even heard her come IN. She stayed away from our room for the rest of the day. Id felt tired, I had crashed at like ten Oclock. She tries to squirm away, but I tighten my grip. Bad idea to move like that, Jessie. Youll give a guy ideas. She stops moving instantly. I need chocolate, She sulks, pouting. Dont you have any here? Its a school day tomorrowertoday. WAIT! I have some chocolate bars. No. I dont want THAT type of chocolate, she snipes. Okaymaybe you can just sleep it off? She shakes her head. Im not tired. Leave me alone, Rafael. Im going to go cook something. I might have let her go alone (thats my story, Im sticking to it) butFood? I say perkily, any tiredness gone. Like, cake? Or those awesome cookies? Jessie looks like she regretted saying anything. You get caught, you get expelled.

I wont get caught, I assure her, all but shoving her off my bed so I can grab a pair of sweats. Im not even going to bother with a shirt. (No, that decision had nothing to do with Jessie.) Not if theres food involved. Lets go. And thats how I found myself tiptoeing with Jessie through the silent halls down to the kitchen, which turned out to be behind a nondescript door down the hall from the cafeteria entrance. With an ease that spoke of lots and lots of practice, Jessie reached into her teddy bear-covered PJs and pulled out a library card, and in a moment she had the door open. Sexy, I whisper. She sends me an aggravated stare, then pads in on bare feet. I guess she managed to kick her socks again. I follow her, blink when she turns on the lights low. Everything seems to gleam. The pots, pans, counters, tables; everything is totally pristine. Frighteningly so. One of the cooks must be a neat freak. Jessie instantly goes to a small area in the left corner of the huge room and starts pulling stuff out. I want to make fudge with whipped cream, she announces. Sounds good to me. She jabs her finger at a refrigerator. Make me some chocolate milk. I roll my eyes. Yes, sir. She chuckles, a low, amused sound. Be nice to me, Rafael. You dont want to have Brads fate happen to you, now do you? Hell no. I take out the milk, and some chocolate syrup. I pour a generous amount of each into a cup and mix it with a spoon I pulled out of the drawers. I lick the spoon clean, toss it in the sink, and turn around to hand it to Jessie only to find her staring at my bare torso. Ahem. I say blandly. She turns red as her gaze shoots north. Oh. Um. Thanks. She takes the glass and takes a gulp. Oh, man, thats a kickass amount of syrup. I hate it when people are stingy. Lifes short, so why not enjoy it? I agree mildly. She pauses in the middle of pouring sugar in a big bowl. Do never mind. You sure youre not tired?

I flop onto a stool. Trying to get rid of me? Havent I always? Has it worked? No. Then dont waste your time. Can I have a sip? She hugs the glass to her for a moment, then reluctantly passes it over. I take it, letting my fingers touch hers for a moment, then take an even bigger gulp than she had. Yep, I say. Really good. It took Jessie about half an hour to put together the ingredients and pop it into the oven. When she was done, I helped her wash the dishes and put them back. She placed a bowl on the table. Whipped cream, She says, and dives into the refrigerator to pull out some heavy cream. She opened the carton, poured the contents into he bowl, got a whisk, and began to whip it up. Want me to take a turn? I ask She pauses to grin at me challengingly. Bet your too weak. She leans over the table to poke at my bare arm. Look at that. No muscle. Well, sorta I flex my arm. She sighs. Never mind. I take that back. Damn straight. She scowls at me. Ive met guys with more muscle. No, you havent. Except for maybe Carl. Carl, She says. BESIDES him, I say. I really dont think he counts. Ummm See? I say smugly. No one. Jared, she says.

I snort. Please. A moment later, I catch the dishrag shed balled op and thrown at me. I try to hit her, but she ducks with surprising speed and the towel sails harmlessly over her head. She snatches a wooden spoon from the drying rack and tried to rap me on the head. I grab in time well, in time to stop the second hit - from her and toss it to the side. Ill get you for that, I say. Oh yeah? Yeah. Both our eyes go straight to the whipped cream. Jessies eyes go round. You wouldnt She began, a mix of panic and humor in her voice as she tries valiantly to snatch the bowl away from me. But, before she can, Ive lifted the spoon out, and snapped it in her direction, causing the whipped cream to spray all over her face, hair, and clothes. Oh, my God, she says faintly. Im still doubled over with laughter when Jessie darts around the table, snatches the chocolate syrup and squeezes what feels like a gallon all over my hair, even though it was probably only a little bit. I instantly stop laughing. Oh my gosh. This is gross. I can feel it oozing down. Jessies laughing now, but it trails off nervously when she sees that Im just staring at her. Well, She says, You did it to me When I still just stare at her, she grabs a towel and tries to mop some of it up, then drops the cloth as another wave of laughter hits her. Apparently, the sight of a chocolatecovered Rafael amuses her. Thanks for trying to clean it up, I say as tonelessly as I can. She bites her lip and starts to look a bit more worried. I think all I did was smear it into your hair even more. I noticed, I continue in the same voice. But at least you tried. She winces at the sarcasm. So, I continue, starting towards her, I really ought to help you with that whipped cream. Its only fair. She started to back away. Ill do it myself, I damn it! she just realized that Ive got her backed into a corner. She tried to slip past me, but I put an arm on either side of her, caging her in. Now, I muse out loud, How to get it off your skin

And I lick off the first splatter. She starts laughing helplessly. Rafe, you cant lick it all off I nuzzle away a big blob on her cheek, nibble carefully around the fading bruise that mars it, causing her to strain away. But shes held pretty immobilized by my body and her chuckles. Although she continues to try and squirm away, I finally manage to clean up most of her face. Theres only one spot left, I say quietly, and she stops laughing. Because we both know what spot Ive left for last. Her lips. I lean in towards her, slowly, giving her the chance to pull away. Though quite frankly, even if she does, Ill kiss her anyway. Because if I dont, youd have to scrape me off the walls with a spatula after the explosion. I stop about an inch from her lips, hold myself there, just enjoying the sensation of her chocolate-scented breath entwining itself with mine. Then I lean in close, and with the tip of my tongue, I lick off the first spot, the one in the left corner of her lower lip. Her lips part, and shes staring into my eyes, with the oddest look in hers. Half-fright and half-desire. A moment later, desire wins out, and she leans into me. I wait a bit longer, brushing my mouth against hers over and over, prolonging the tension until the adrenaline in my body goes past my control. Okay. Waited long enough. I reach up with one hand, grab the nape of her neck with one hand, and with a hungry sound, crush my mouth against hers. FINALLY. She presses her whole body against mine, wraps her arms around my neck. And its like Ive fucking come home. Which sounds cheesy beyond belief, but hey, its true. I didnt come up with the shitty statement; its just that the emotion is there. I wrap my other arm around her waist and just let myself drown in her taste. Jessie. Just Jessie. Nothing else exists for me right now, and since the rest of the school is asleep, I know it will stay that way for a long time. And as much as Id like to give you all the juicy details, the blood that enables my brain to function is being diverted to, ah, other parts of my body. So, if youll excuse me i Cuaderno,

Yep. Rafael Montgomery kissed me. Nothing more, nothing less. And thank God he wasnt one of those guys with the wandering hands. I HATE that. Well, you know. Not THAT much wandering. I was baking some fudge, we got in an argument, a food fight ensues, and then the next thing I know, Im up against the counter getting the most mind-numbing kiss Ive ever had in my LIFE. Hopefully, Rafael doesnt realize it his ego JUST fits through the doorway. I mean, players may shatter heartsbut what a way to go. Who am I kidding? He knows it. He had the most incredibly smug look on his face. I probably would have, too. I probably DID. But, I still believe that things would get out of control. So, after a few minutes (eh, hours, whos counting?) I told him that we cant do anything. He got a really patient look on his face Do I really backtrack that much? Fine, He said. In our room, nothing happens. Outside, all deals are off. I agreed, if he promised that we kept it secret. He looked pained, but he agreed, because he said that it wasnt impossible to find time alone outside of our room. Which I would normally disagree with, but knowing Rafael, hell find away. I mean, it must have taken an hour to make it from the kitchen to the door to the room! And, if you were wondering, the fudge kiiiiiinda got burned to a black crisp. Barely caught the smoke squeezing out the oven in time to make sure none of the fire alarms went off. Ah, well. I have something better than chocolate now. So its like five in the morning, Rafaels in the shower trying to get the chocolate out his hair, and I cant sleep. Jeez, how the hell am I going to face him in the morning? Crap. Maybe I should just call everything offspare everyone the trauma. Or, I can just enjoy it while it lasts. I mean, how long will he stay interested in me? Im probably just a small fling. And I have no idea what his idea of a relationship IS. I mean, how do I know hes not going to play around with some other girl? I dont. And now Im worried. Which I hate. Which is nice and all, but if anyone catches us, were screwed I mean, we could both get kicked out. Or, at least, mess up our chances of getting into good colleges. Thats seriously important, and it would be inconsiderate and absolutely ridiculous to lose everything Ive worked my butt off for just because my roommate is drop-dead gorgeous and knows how to use

his mouth. Seriously. And Im going to have to hide this diary; if he finds it, Ill be forced to crawl under a rock and DIE. Xoxo Jessie P.S. And, of course, Eva would be so pissed. Because she likes Rafael. And shes been so terse with me Look. Its not my fault. And she has a perfectly great hot wonderful gorgeous guy that likes HER. Just a few days ago, Id gone to Evas room because Rafael was being his normal, annoying self. When I commented on it, shes turned on me out of NOWHERE and said, If you dont want him, I do. Apparently shed taken my stunned silence as a yes, I want him, because shed stormed out the room. I didnt speak to her for a while. Which hurt. Because when Rafael went off on Sunday, I guess to buy something, I told Anne and Eva what had happened Saturday evening. They were obviously concerned, until Eva had peered at my neck and asked me, sarcastically, if hed hit me on the side of the neck too. Id told her, very evenly, no. Why is SHE pissed? SHE was the one kissing JARED at the dance. Which reminds me I havent seen Jared in a while. Is he avoiding me or something? Ill visit him soon. o0o0o0o0o0o October rolled in, with crisp breezes and falling leaves. Its been almost a month since I first walked into this school. If possible, I love it even more now. Im doing great (note that the word is objective) in my classes, Marie has left me alone forwell, forty-eight hours, and Ive got Jessie. The reason I said Jessie and not a girlfriend is because, unfortunately, theyre not the same thing. Because Jessies mad nervous about breaking the rules, she refuses to acknowledge anything that could be, well, official. So, and I quote her here, we are tentative friends with a lot of benefits. Yeah, I know, I know. I could have done a LOT better. But quite frankly, Im content where I am, and if I want more well, I have around nine more

months, give or take a week, to convince her. I dont think I ever appreciated how long the school year was before. Another thing I dont think I appreciated enough? Whipped cream. Heh. Heh heh. Monday morning would have been a lot more awkward had we not been so dead that it took all our energy to drag ourselves to History. I unabashedly put my head down and slept for the whole period. Jessie, Im guessing, managed to stay awake for the whole period through sheer willpower. The short nap rejuvenated me, and when the bell rang I all but bounced out the classroom. After a few seconds, Jessie entered the hallway, dragging her feet. She took one look at me and scowled. Fucking energizer bunny. Egads. A sleep-deprived teen going through The Time. Fortunately, I am prepared. I reach into my bag and find a bar of chocolate Id bought the day before and give it to her. Well, actually, I started to give it to her, and she snatched it from my hand. Sure, Jessie, have it. She scowls at me while she unwraps it. Do I seem that easy? The silence stretches. Fine, so I am, and she stuffs the whole thing in her mouth. Wow, that fits? She gave me a dirty look, but a moment later, her face relaxes and she swallows. Oh, I needed that. Thank you, God. Hey, I say indignantly. I bought that! Thank ME! Anther girl walking pasts stops short. Hey, Jessie, she greets her. Then she sniffs the air. Wanna share the wealth? She asks chirpily. Jessie points right at me. I scowl. Fine. I fish out another one. Here you go. Seeing a barrage of interested and hungry glances shooting my way (and its not all because of me, but also the chocolate) I shoot off for my next class, making sure to trail a quick finger across Jessies waist as I brush past her. Somehow (Im sure everyone wonders how) word got out that some guy had chocolate. And since I was the only guy whowell, the only guy, period,

lets just say I was out of sweets by sixth period and got glares for the rest of the day. Id bought like five packs, too! After school was the first volleyball practice. The crowd in the gym was noticeably thinner, and everyone was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Returning players wore the tight fitted uniforms. I look for Jessie, and cant help but grin. That has got to be the loosest shirt Ive ever seen. I glance around No Pixy, and no Marie. I guess they didnt make the cut. Awww The coach comes in, pushing a large crate of volleyballs ahead of her, and starts tossing them around, and arranges everyone into groups where they can practice. Im stuck with a group of freshmen, and I pretty much just toss the ball and they try to hit it back. Operative word being try. But theyre new, so it doesnt matter. Every couple of minutes, I glance towards Jessie and her group of friends. Theyre in a loose circle, calmly passing the ball. As I watch, one of the girls casually pulls back her arm and THWACK! Spikes it at the girl across from her, who dives for it and misses. Everyone watching laughs. As I watch, Eva hits it to Jessie, and she goes for it, and manages to get it before sliding into the wall hard, and for one moment, doesnt move. Before I can stop myself, I take a step forward. Almost instantly, she got back up, grinning, and waving her hands in a way that told me shed only got the breath knocked out of her. Id barely let out the breath I was holding when a stray ball hit me HARD against the left side of my face. My face feeling numb, I turn in disbelief to see a small group of freshmen looking extremely guilty. Why me? o0o0o0o0o0o Sixteen girls went into the girls locker room. So far fourteen have left. As I watch from where Im resting against the wall, tossing a volleyball back and forth, Eva walks out, her uniform under her arm.

Alright. Time for common sense. Sixteen go in, fifteen leave. The only person who has yet to come out is.After sneaking a glance around, I open the locker room door and slip in. Hey, maybe Jessies still changing! The locker room is normal. Rows of pale turquoise lockers, most of them graffiti- free. All of them are empty until I hit the back. I glance around the corner. Jessies struggling into her T-shirt, which seemed to have bunched up or something did I mention she has a really nice bod? and Im about to offer some help (pulling it on, pulling it off, preferably the latter) when she speaks up. Eva? Did you leave your bracelet? Its probably under the bench. I glance down. Sure enough, a slim silver chain is on the ground. I bend down and pick it up. The little links tinkle musically together. Look, she says, finally managing to wrench her shirt on all the way, Its ridiculous being pissed at each other. If you would just get over whatever dumb thing you have about Jared, youd see hes actually really cute, funny, gorgeous, hot Ahem, I say. Yeah, I know, I ruined it, but theres only so much a guy can take when his girlfriends (improper term, but same difference) in an empty locker room and is chatting away about the good qualities of an old flame. She yelps and turns around. What? Hi? What are you doing in here? She says, turning bright red. With anger or embarrassment, I dont know. Probably both. I I thought you were Eva! I noticed. I cocked an eyebrow. Want to finish that sentence? She eyes me warily. Er not really. You sure? I walk up to her and, because I cant resist, I tweak her nose. She scowls. What was he? Cute, funny Exactly how long were you here? She interrupts. Not that long, I offer her with a dazzling smile. Eh. Shes not dazzled. She looks pissed, and really embarrassed. Hey, I say, sliding my arms around her waist, I didnt see anything. Much. I lean down and kiss her gently. Then not so gently.

Things were just starting to get interesting when Jessie? Did I leave my bracelet here? Lesson of life: its a bad idea to get caught in a girls locker room making out with a girl BY said girls friend. Jessie pulls away from me, grabs me by the arm, and pushes me out of sight behind the lockers, just as the footsteps round the corner. I think I left my hey, are you okay? Yeah, Jessie says, trying to sound nonchalant. Oh, Eva voice says. Its just that you look a bit flushed and out of breath. And A few more footsteps. Did a ball hit you in the mouth? Your lips seem a bit swollen. I withhold the snicker. Barely. Your bracelet, Jessie says hastily. I think I put it in my I glance down, and pull the bracelet out of MY pocket. Because Jessie is leaning against the lockers, blocking any view Eva might catch of me, I reach around the corner of the lockers and slip the bracelet into her back pocket. And because its such a perfect opportunity, I squeeze. Eek! Jessie, what on earth is wrong with you? Sorry. Jessie reaches back, pinches my hand as hard as she could (um, ow?), then takes the bracelet. Here, And her hand vanishes from my view, as, I presume, she gives it to Eva. I thought I saw a mouse. Eek! This time, its Eva. I HATE mice. Im outta here. Finally. Evas footsteps, a lot more speedy than before, head away. Theres a thud as the door closes behind her, and after a moment of frozen silence, I let out the laughter Ive been holding inside. Jessie turns around and punches me in the stomach. I continue to laugh with a wheeze every few seconds. That wasnt funny! Jessie snaps, visibly shaken. Dont you get what would happen if were caught? Im sorry, Jessie, I say apologetically.

(Snicker.) Nah, I didnt laugh anymore, even though I had to turn around and stare hard at the wall to keep it in. Because she seems genuinely upset. I dont know why. She really needs to relax and have some fun. I mean, Im the person who would get the heat. She would just get a reprimand. I mean, please. Shes every teachers dream student. Smart, athletic, and popular. They wouldnt dare kick her out. Just, maybe, revoke her scholarship. But, I mean, shes got her dads money to back her up, right? Oh. Right, indeed. Jessie, I say, turning around. Id intended to ask her, as the question of the day (yes, were still doing that. Did you know that Jessie has a tattoo? I wouldnt let her tell me where, though. Ill find it for myself), what her exact relationship was between herself and her dad, but shes gone. Jeez. Shes almost sneakier than I am. o0o0o0o0o0o Shes doing it on purpose. I just KNOW it. Its Thursday. Yep, almost a whole week has gone by. And so far, our little deal is going perfectly, except for a short argument over whether the definition of room includes the bathroom. Im a bit ashamed to say that she won, and Im not going into the humiliating details. Ill just have to convince her its of her best interest to change her mind. Which I CANT do if she keeps on surrounding herself with her friends. Right now, shes walking to class, chatting and laughing. And I KNOW she knows Im there. Becauseshes about to turn into her classshe just caught my eye, and gave a decidedly feline smirk. A lot like what my sisters cat looks like after she dumps a dead mouse on my bed. With that little smile, she walks into class and the bell rings. Im left leaning against the wall down the hall, scowling at the door as it slams closed. Im supposed to be in Physics class. But hey, Im learning about magnetism in a roundabout way, so whatever. Then again, Ive yet to completely cut a class, and I really am supposed to be turning a new leaf So I got to Physics. During the whole class, I can feel someone staring at me. I mean, someones ALWAYS staring at me, but this time I know its

Marie. Sure enough, when the teacher finished her lesson early, theres a nervous tapping on my shoulder. Raffie, she says uneasily, I Save it, I snap, and leave the class to try and catch Jessie before she leaves. So, once again, Im waiting outside her class. She has Calculus next. I have Creative Writing. I think both are pretty miss-able. Dont you? So I wait. And wait. The bell rings. Everyone leaves the room. And I wait. The late bell rings. Crap, she didnt give me the slip, did she? Just when Im about to stalk off to Creative Writing in a bad mood, guess who dashes out the room, clutching a piece of paper in her hand? My mood goes up instantly. Jessie skids to a halt. Ah she trails off, darting a glance down the hallway. Its empty, I tell her, starting to walk towards her. She starts walking backwards. I have to go to class, she warns, but theres a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. I dont think she even realizes it. I point to the piece of paper in her hand, grinning. If that isnt a late pass, Ill leave you alone for the rest of the week. She sneers, holds it out to me. Deal. Its homework. Crap, I mutter. Then my eyes narrow, and I make a swipe for the paper. She pulls it out of reach quickly. You always do your homework in pen. Thats written in pencil. How did you notice that? I kind of live with you. I try to pull the paper from her, and she tries to get it back. Somehow, in the ensuing scuffle, were each left with a corner of the paper while the rest of it drifts downdownand slips under a door. I try to open it, but its locked. Um, its not opening. Jessie kneels next to the door, and tries to slide her fingers under it. Its too Ow! she jerks her hand free. Seeing my look of concern, she shakes her head. Its fine. Crap, I hate doing this. And little Ms. Proper reaches for a small ring of keys, selects one, and unlocks the door, too busy looking for the lost late pass to pay any attention to me.

Its a simple matter for me to shove her into the room and close it behind me (I checked to make sure it wouldnt lock us inside). You have the Master key? I ask in utter delight. Jessie, I think this relationship has entered a new level. The oops that was forming on her lips never got vocalized. o0o0o0o0o0o It was the following Tuesday that it happened. Jessie and I were headed for the gym after classes, a bit late (half an hour, thats all) due to unavoidable circumstances (empty classroom), when we hear the noise. Almost instantly, my cell rings. Its Jared. When I pick up, he says urgently, Theres an ambulance that just passed our school. What happened? An ambulance? I repeat, bewildered. Jessie bolts towards where the cries seem to be coming from. I curse under my breath, hang up on Jared while hes in mid-sentence (something about Eva, I dont know what), and dash after her. By the time we hit the gym doors, theres a crowd of students trying to look into the gym, and a hassled teacher I didnt recognize trying to keep anyone from getting in. By this time, I am several steps ahead of Jessie. The teacher looks right at me. Not another step, young man! I start to slow down, but Jessie grabs my wrist. What if its Eva? She says frantically. Oror If its Eva? Then Jessie is going to be very, very screwed. As would be Jared. I point past the teacher. Then why does she get to go in? When she spins around, I wrap my fingers around Jessies wrist and drag her into the gym, too fast for the teacher to catch us. If I thought it was chaotic outside, it was pandemonium inside. So I forced Jessie to stay on the side, and looked around. Everyone was running in or out, and the students whod managed to sneak in or had avoided being kicked out were visibly shaken. Jessie!

Its Eva. Jessie drops my hand instantly and grabs Evas shoulders. Are you alright? What happened? Are you okay? Im fine, Eva pushes a few stands of her pale-gold hair out of her face, points at a thick clump of teachers on the far side. Its Coach. She was talking about something, and then all of a sudden, she clutches at her chest and falls down Shes speaking really calmly, but her face was eerily tranquil. I touch her arm, and the next thing I know, shes bawling like a baby into my shoulder. I wrap one arm around her, and keep the other hand firmly around Jessie. Shes composed, but her lower lips trembling slightly, and every few seconds, shed bite it to try make it stop. Then the paramedics come. After they leave, pretty much everyone either heads for the lounge, their rooms, or theyre boyfriends. Considering about sixty-something percent of the girls is currently dating someone from the boys school, there were a lot of anxious guys waiting outside. Jared was one of the ones whod gotten past the teachers inside, and relieves me of Eva in about two seconds flat. I have no idea what happened with them. All I know is I took Jessie back to our room she seemed a bit shocky and sat her down on the bed. Shell be okay, I say, kneeling in front of her and wrapping my hands around her calves. How do you know? I open my mouth, and then shut it. I dont know. She lets out a slow, shuddering breath. She has to be. I just nod, and, sitting next to her, pull her into a hug. Just a hug. Nothing sexual, just a gesture made for comfort, one friend to another. o0o0o0o0o0o Needless to say, that sport was delayed. Every day, Jessie popped by the main office to see if there was any news. One day, she bounced back, more cheerful than Ive seen her in the past couple of days. Well, not that shes been completely down (you can thank me), but in general. It was about seven Oclock on Sunday, and Id just done my first math homework in like two weeks. Id finished my history homework. Not that Id paraphrased Jessies or anything.

Shes fine! Jessie burst in. Coach is fine, and shes taking a year off to recover! I looked up and smiled. Howd you find out? She bounced on her bed a few times. Jared. I blink. Wait. How? She gives me an odd look. Humans have the ability of opening their mouth and making sounds. Over the phone? No, She said slowly. I was hanging out over at the other school, and You were hanging out with Jared? I guess something in my tone alerted her (jealousy? No) because she said sharply, Yeah. I was with Jared. Want to make something of it? She gets up and starts heading for the door when I grab her by the arm and spin her around. Did something happen that I could make something of? My voice was really, really quiet, and should have scared her. But instead of being scared, she lookedhurt? Then it vanished, and all she looked was really really pissed. Kind of like the time I stayed at my aunts house when I was little and her cat liked to sleep in the bathtub and I liked to turn on the water. What do YOU care? she hissed. Oh, yeah. My sisters cat, all right. Youre not my effing boyfriend! and with that she storms out the room. Im left gaping after her. Wasnt the boyfriend label just a technicality? What, did she just think I was her fling of the moment? o0o0o0o0o0o Jessie had obviously forgotten to tell me that Ms. Healthgot had found a temporary coach. So Eva told me. She looked a lot happier to, and when I asked about it, she turned red. Im guessing it has something to do with the text message I got on my cell yesterday from Jared (It read: SCORE!). So we go down to the gym after school on Monday. Its been a bit less than a week since the coachs heart attack. Jessies already in the gym, and when she sees me walk in with Eva she just turns her back on me and IGNORES

me. Did I add shes been crashing in Annes room ever since the spat last night? Ms. Healthgot is there, checking her watch. Hello, Rafael, Eva, she says distractedly. Mrs. Smithers ought to be here soon. The whole gym well, the older girls, went dead silent. The younger ones followed suit, confused. I glanced at Eva, she was staring at Ms. Healthgot like shed just grown an extra head. I glanced at Jessie and blinked. I coulda sworn I saw smoke pouring from her ears for a brief moment Who? I say, clueless. Are you fu Jessie started to say, when the gymnasium door swung open, and a figure tottered in. Ah, Mrs. Smithers, Ms. Healthgot said gaily, shooting Jessie a warning look. Thank you so much for offering to be a substitute coach. Everyone else couldnt make it. Ill leave you all alone. And with that she walks calmly out of the silent gym. No problem? The woman said airily, then giggled. This will be fun, wont it, girls? Dead silence. I take the awkward moment(s) to look at the new coach. Shes wearing a tight white top with the Adidas stripes, very tight, stretchy sweatpants that flared at the bottom to hide Im guessing by the clicking noise when she walks stilettos? I study the face. Definitely a bit of, er, touch ups. Pale smooth skin, pencil thin eyebrows, and red hair permed within an inch to its life. You know, she looks awfully familiar. Almost like Anyone know where my daughter Marie is? The woman asked bubbly. I thought she tried out for the team. Dear God. No one knows where Marie is? The woman asked again in the same bright voice. Okay. FirstMarie Smithers? I would have laughed my ass off right here in the gym, except that, second crap. You have GOT to be kidding me.

Shes not here, Jessie says icily. Shes standing a bit apart from the rest of the group, her hair in its usual messy ponytail. Shes wearing a plain white T-shirt (baggy) and shes wearing the uniforms shorts, sneakers with the kneepads around her ankles. Theres a ball tucked under one arm, and the other fist is propped on her hip. Her face? Well lets just say she doesnt look really happy. In fact, she looks really, really pissed. Did I mention she looks really hot when shes pissed? Why not? Mrs. Smithers says, confused. She told me she was trying out. She did, Jessie grit out. She didnt make it. Mrs. Smithers blinked, and her face went tight, and she gave Jessie a slow once over. Ive heard of you, She said coldly. Little Ms. Jessica Davidson. What are you doing here? Do I sense a history? I guess Marie and Jessie have had it for each other for a few years Im captain, Jessie said simply. And Im the coach, Mrs. Smithers said with the same vicious undertone. Im surprised they letyou lead. Everyone sucked in her breath. Eva glanced around, smirked, and whispered to me, Oh, man, shes going to get it from the whole team. Shes just signed the death warrant. No one insults Jessie about volleyball. No one. Watch. Well. If looks could kill, both Jessie and Mrs. Smithers would have been pushing up the daisies. I mean, Marie and Jessies rivalry seems to be nothing new, so I can only imagine the things Marie must have told her mother about Jessie. As for Jessie her archenemys mom was teaching the volleyball team. HER team. Oh, boy, this is going to be FUN. I grin. And she sees the smile, because she turns on me. AndRaffie! She says in delight, obviously recognizing me in a heartbeat. As Im the only guy around here, I guess it wasnt that difficult to use the Process of Elimination, especially if theres only one candidate. Ive heard so MUCH about you, Raffie! Crap. I check the urge to turn tail and run for the hills. I hope its all good, I say, forcing a smile. I think it came out more like a grimace, but I dont think she noticed. Oh, yes! She squeals. Marie told me all about it, but she made me promise not to tell anyone. We wouldnt want the school to get I trouble, now would we? Actually, She says, puzzled, I thought that we were going to be notified by an email, but I dont recall getting one.

The smile on my face slides more into a smirk. Lets all have a moment of thankfulness for whoever hacked into the school system. Hopefully, Mrs. Smithers wont tell anyone. Needless to say, practice was a bit stilted. Because, quite frankly, Mrs. Smithers had no idea what was going on. If Id held up volleyball and a soccer ball, I dont think she would have been able to figure out which one was which. And I dont think Jessie helped by paying a quarter to anyone who would accidentally hit Mrs. Smithers with a stray ball. Every time I look up, theres another ball arching towards the hapless woman. Not all hit the mark; shes learning to duck them, but a lot make it, and she never sees whom it was that spiked, served, bumped, or set it. The younger ones, who werent as annoyed at her, hit it gently, more for the money, I think, but the veterans (and there were about ten of them) were obviously dead loyal to Jessie. And they went for the serves. Overhand. Sure enough, Jessie picked up a ball, looked to where Mrs. Smithers (stupidly) had her back to the court, tossed it in the air, and bumped it lazily into the air. It rose slowly into the air, crested, and dropped with slowly increasing speed. Everyone had stopped what they were doing, and all watched with open mouths and evil glints in their eyes as SMACK! Right on the top of her head. Perfect aim. DAMN IT! We all blinked as she spun around, her hands curling into fists as far as they could with the long red nails (theyre going to breakits impossible to play volleyball with long nails) shes got pasted on. Who did that? I dunno, Jessie said innocently. Everyone echoed her. Five minutes later, a junior named Melissa got her hands on a ball, and winked at Jessie, who smirked back. (Not a nice smirk, may I add.) Mrs. Smithers was chatting away on her cell phone. Melissa threw it in the air, and jump-served it right to Mrs. Smithers. For those of you that dont play do you have any idea how fast and hard those balls go? Lets just say very hard and very fast. The ball hit her smack against the side of her head, sending the cell phone flying to slide along the floor and under a bleacher, a broken fake nail not far behind it. My nail! Mrs. Smithers shrieked, tottering after it in the ridiculous shoes. Raffie! My cell phone! Yeah. For some reason, shes decided Im her knight in shining fucking armor. Like Im going to help her. This is a lot more entertaining. But, because she looks like shes going to explode, I sigh and spend the next ten minutes squirming under the stupid structure to get the phone. And when I finally get my hands on the damn thing, its only to find that its broken beyond repair.

Two hours later, Mrs. Smithers looked a bit worse for the wear. Her hair is falling out of the pristine style it had been before, two more nails broke, and one of her heels had snapped off when she ducked a ball that had comeaccidentallyflying at her. She looked around, a bit shell shocked, at the ingenuous-looking girls gathered around her. Er good practice? Excellent, Jessie confirms happily, looking more jovial than Ive seen her look in days. Well, you know, when Im not cheering her up or something. We actually have a game scheduled for tomorrow She paused when everyone gasped. I know weve fallen behind schedule, but Im confident we can do it. She then turned to Mrs. Smithers, and smiled. Concerning practice You do know we have it every day, right? Looking at Mrs. Smithers face, I almost felt bad for her. Almost. Butdamn. A game tomorrow. Ought to be exciting. o0o0o0o0o0o Holy shit! Guess whos subbing for the team? Maries mom. MARIES FUCKING MOM. Last time I checked, a pig wasnt flying past the window; whats going on? Has the world lost its head? Guys going to girls schools? Stiletto wearing people coaching a sports team? People dying from disease, malnutrition, AIDS, genocide, while our headlines are full of American Idol judges sleeping with the contestants? That whole thing disgusts me, by the way. But I digress. Maybe Im on drugs and I dont even know it. Or maybe, everyone but me is on drugs and no one knows it. Maybe it was decided that my life wasnt as problematic as it already was and decided to throw me a few curve balls. Whatever it is, I have to admit that volleyball has been rather fun. Mrs. Smithers is a wonderful target she can duck enough to keep everyone busy, cant step side enough to entertain, and because I promised twentyfive cents to whoever hit her, Im about seven dollars and seventy-five cents poorer. Im proud to say my teams accuracy has improved a lot. Our first game tomorrow; its against Thomason High School in a nearby town. Theyre pretty good; were better. So hopefully, well win, beat everyone else here, and go on to compete statewide, and hopefully nationwide. Rafael and I had our first fight. Id hung out in Jareds room with Eva and Anne, and when Id mentioned that, Rafael got all pissed, and asked me, pretty much, if Id done anything. Okay. That pissed me off for two reasons. One: what? He thought I would just play with him, then run off to another guy? I didnt really figure we were one hundred percent committed to each other, but please. I wouldnt do that. Which brings me to my second point. I would have thought hed have trusted me about that, but apparently he doesnt. I cant believe hes getting

his boxers in a twist because hes worried Im with someone else. Shouldnt I be worrying about him myself? Because I see him all the time flirting and laughing with other girls. And if I were to point it out, he probably wouldnt even realize it. Its natural for him. But its not for me? Thats just wrong. So last night I hung out at Annes. Tonight Im going o crash at Evas, because Rafael would have figured out by then, probably, that I would head for Annes, and I doubt hell be persistent enough to look around me after the first search was a failure. Ill go back to the room when Ive though everything over. Right? Well, I sure hope so, because I dont really feel like facing him right now. Xoxo Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Its eight Oclock, and even though Jessie wasnt all out enraged at me today, shes still not here. Which means shes still sleeping over with someone else. I should leave her alone. I really should. Five minutes later, I was knocking on Annes door. Unfortunately, Annes not there. Her roommate opens the door to reveal an empty room, and, as she always had, turned red. Rafael! She squeaked out. Er Anne went to the vending machines. Vending machines? Theyre in the corner of the lounge. Seeing my look of confusion, she said, Theyd broken, because someone had figured out how to kick the machine after putting in money to get all the stuff to fall out. Problem was, it broke machine. The new ones were just put up today. Oh, I say. Okay. Thanks. I narrow my eyes. She looks a bit different. Did you do something with your hair? She touches it self-consciously. Um. Highlights. Her cheeks were bright, bright red. I got them over the weekend. They look really nice, I say truthfully. Well, I gotta go. See you around, And I walk off, smiling. Its so much fun flattering the shy ones. They turn the most amazing shades of red. Seriously. You should try it sometimes. Sure enough, Anne was in the lounge, trying to feed a dollar into the machine. It wouldnt take it, and Anne let out an exasperated noise and was drawing her foot back to kick it when I take the bill away from her. Let me do it, I say, and gently slip the bill into the machine. It goes in smoothly. Howd you do that? Anne asks, surprised. Dunno. Maybe the machines female. Is that possible? Do you know where Jessie is? I ask.

What is going on between the two of you? She says in her normal gentle manner. When I dont answer, she frowns. You know, shes not going to do anything with you, so you perhaps you should look somewhere else. Not do anything, eh? Hmm. I remembered a nice fifteen minutes, actually, about three feet away from where Annes standing right now. Shes gone on, so I snap back to what shes saying. Look. I dont know how well you know her, but her academic life is really important to her. Dont you get it, Rafael? Anything happens, and shes screwed. All right. Id thought about it. But Jessie had never really mentioned that. Were going to have a serious talk about communication. Well, that is, once I get my hands on her. Speaking of which, Okay. I get it. Where is she hiding? She sniffs. None of your business. Fine, I say, annoyed. I get out my cell and call Jared. Hey, Jared, I say. What? Anne narrows her eyes at me. You know, I heard that Jessies been hanging out with your sister to avoid me, I continue. Annes face darkens dangerously. Its quiet enough that she can hear every word Jared says back to me. Yeah, Jared says. I can almost see the smirk on his face. Whats up with you and Jessie? Anne told me that shes been crashing in Evas room since last night, actually. Mental head slap. Did I start, but Anne swipes the phone away. Idiot, She yells. Why do you think Jessies there in the first place? I was RIGHT THERE when Jessie told you not to tell Rafael! What the Wow. Anne sure gets pissed easily with her twin. Actually, thats the first time I think Ive heard her raise her voice. I drag the phone away. Hey, Anne was with you when Jessie hung out with you? Jeez. Dont tell me you bitched about that, of course she was. Eva was here too. Oops. You know, Jessie hates it when people try to dictate her life. Or control it. Or generally barge in and make a big mess and well. Kinda like you. Jared finds this amusing, so I hang up on him as the laughter peals through the phone line. Jerk. Anne looks like she agrees with me, thought obviously for different reasons. He had no right to do that, Anne fumed. Absolutely no right. Is everything all right? I suddenly ask. You know, I really havent talked to her in a while. Forever, it feels. Is there something with you and Jared? She shakes her head. No, she says softly. Not Jared.

After a few minutes, the encouraging silence turns into an awkward one. I sigh, but she doesnt respond. You know what? I should give Tessa her number. Hah. Then hold that favor over Tessas head for the rest of her life. I really need something; the shit she has on me is amazing. I swear, I do one stupid thing, and its recorded in her brain. Shes ruthless like that. Well I say finally. I gotta go. I turn around, take a few steps, and whip back around. Anne, I say threateningly, I you even think of warning Jessie, Ill tell Jared that that you were telling Eva not to go out with him. Crap, Anne mutters, and slides hr phone back into her pocket. Idiots been starry eyed for her for like three years. Took him this long to get over the denial. She eyes me. Nothing like a bit of competition to speed it up. Its appreciated by more people than youd think. Eva liked me? I yelp in alarm. And then I groan. What a mess. Me liking Jessie, Jessie liking Jared, Jared well, you get the picture. Well, its all good now. Right? Better be. She said liked, as in past tense, and Jared and Eva seem to be together. I think. Okay. Im off. Jessies going to be pissed that she got busted. o0o0o0o0o0o Im going to kill Anne, Jessie mutters. Id just slammed open the door on Eva, Jessie, and Evas roommate gossiping away happily. Id picked up my name and Jareds but I didnt particularly care. You, I snapped, pointing at Jessie. She blinked. What? Back. Huh? You. Back to the room. Hey, it got the message across in a sort of me Tarzan, you Jane kind of way. And I used my scary voice. Reserved only for girls that wouldnt let me get my way. Worked every time. No, Jessie said distinctly. Er. Worked ALMOST every time, that is. Why not? I start to ask, then change my mind. Ill get into that later. When we have privacy. Jessie, I really need to talk to you. Sure! Really? No. I sigh in disgust. Sometimes, arguing with Jessie is like climbing a glacier. Cant do it without a bit of damage. So, I stalk right next to her, so shes forced to look straight up at me. This hurts my neck, Montgomery. Sit down, join us, play a game of cards. Her voice is a bit too sweet, I think darkly. So now its back to Montgomery again. Why dont you stand up? I ask insolently.

She does, eyes flashing. Look. I dont know what crawled up your NO! The last part was yelled at the top of her lungs as I scooped her up and left the room. You see, I COULD have tossed her over my shoulder. The problem with that is, it leaves the back unprotected, and girls dont hesitate to use their nails (and when theyre those fake ones, long, wickedouch. Well, actually, no ones ever done it to me, but Ive seen it happen.) And Jessie doesnt seem the type to just pound a bit. Shed probably leave bruises for the next few weeks. So I (romantically) scooped her up. The thing about that is that its easy to pin her legs and arms down. The bad part is, shes squirming and she isnt a lightweight. By the time Id hauled her back to the room, she was calmly lying in my arms, detailing exactly how she would torture me as slow as possible. Then, Im going to put Nair in the shampoo again. And you wont catch it in time. (Remind me to buy a new shampoo and hide the bottle from her.) I push open the door that Id left ajar. When you sleep, Im going to shave your eyebrows. I wince. Arent girls supposed to do that to each other, only? I like my eyebrows just the way they are. I dumped her hard on her bed, cutting off her next diabolical plan concerning itching powder in my underwear, I believe it was. Id rather have her shave my eyebrows. I sit next to her, and grab her arm when she tried to get up. Okay, Jessie. We are now going to talk about this relationship we have, I say slowly and patiently so shell understand what Im saying. Also so I dont blow my top. What relationship? I grit my teeth. Somehow, I dont think this is going to be easy. You. And me. Are in. A. Relationship. Really? She says sarcastically. Since when? Since I had you pinned up against the counter in the kitchen a few weeks ago, I say evenly. I would have stopped there, but the look on her face is priceless. So I add, and in the lounge. And in the corridors on the third floor. And the fourth. And the sixth. And the empty classroom on the fifth and the seventh. By the water fountain. The girls locker room. The girls bathroom on the first and sixth floor In the auditorium. On the staircase between floors one, two, three - (Yeah. Ive been busy lately. Haha.) Okay! She yells, embarrassed. I get it. Then she looks confused. Thats a relationship? My mouth drops. Youve got to be kidding me. Even I call that a relationship. And if I say its a relationship, then its a relationship. End of story. Well - she starts defensively, but I cut her off.

What? Was I, like, a FLING? Girls dont have flings with me unless its mutual. Thats just the way the social life is. The higher on the ladder you are, the more shots you call in the relationship. And quite frankly, because Im at the top, I pretty much get to decide everything. I really should write down the rules in a nice booklet and give them to her to study. Then again, it would probably be a waste of my time, ink, and paper. And hiring a plumber, in case she tries to flush it down the toilet. She blinks. You? A fling? A short silence. Then, I thought I was the fling! Well. That explains a lot. I open my mouth to correct her, say no, I distinctly remember aiming for a commitment. I know I did. Why else would I have asked her out to the dance? Okay. Maybe that was a BIT ambiguous for her; I mean, maybe she thought I asked her just to annoy her, not because I was really interested in her. But Im willing to set everything straight. Unfortunately, shes barreling on. And, I mean, its best that way. I really, really cant get into trouble. In nine months, Im off to the best, most distant college I can find. That plan does not includewell, I cant she trailed off, obviously at a loss for words. You cant afford to be caught with me, I finished for her. Outwardly, I was calm, but inside, I was seriously annoyed. Well, at her, too, but more at the circumstances. While I cant really understand why shes so driven to be at the top of everything, I guess I can learn to respect it. Itll be hard, though. So its over? I ask, a bit incredulously. Its for the best, Jessie says firmly, and I glare at her. That BETTER not be a lecturing tone she just took with me So, you want it to be over. No regrets. Move on to the next guy. I test it out loud, and feel my face darken even further at the thought of Jessie just skipping off to another loser. The first one being Brad, of course; not me. Doesnt work that way, I say curtly. I cant just turn off feelings like damn light switch. She looks at me dubiously. What feelings? What? Me? No feelings. No feelings whatsoever. Just unrequited lust. Thats a feeling, right? Because Im feeling it right now. Jessie accurately read the look in my eyes and leaned back. Oh, hell no. You know what? You need a girlfriend. Well, I thought I had one. I told you, Montgomery, I cant because Because you need to get into the top college, yadda yadda yah. Its IMORTANT to me, Montgomery! Jessie says, sounding a bit distressed all of a sudden. If were having this apparent relationship, I think you would respect that academics come first. Ooh. That was low. Right up there with, If you really cared about me, you wouldnt want sex with me. Thankfully, Ive only heard that once. The more

dangerous one that tries to trip me up more is, If you really liked me, you would come to dinner with my parents tonight. Theyre both killers. The latter a lot more than the former, depending on the girl. This is pathetic. My needs are important too, arent they? Damn straight. There are a bunch of girls around this school that made it quite clear that they would be glad to attend said needs. Then why the hell am I arguing here with the stiffest girl in the school? I dont get myself sometimes. You know what? I say. You need to unbend a bit. Have some fun. She sighs. I have fun. Like what, once a month? You dont think I notice that you spend all your free periods in the library? More productive than spending time with the multitudes of girls I see all over you every day, She retorts waspishly, but with absolutely no jealousy in her voice. I shrug. Dont hate the player, hate the attention. Which I think she does. I guess its too much to hope for a bit of green. Ah, well. More than enough time for that. I reach out casually and wrap an errant lock of her hair around my finger. She starts eyeing the bathroom, as if trying to figure out if she could make it there safely. We made a deal. Nothing funny. Im not laughing. Montgomery, she said warningly. I sighed. Lighten up, Jessie. Nothings going to happen. Promise. Promise? She repeats sarcastically. What are you? God? I raise an eyebrow. Nothings going to get out of hand. We just stare at each other for a long, long moment. Jessie looks like shes having a vicious internal struggle. I get to watch her having a vicious internal struggle. After what feels like forever, she heaves a big sigh. Fine. But one more close call MY definition of a close call, not yours, I dont trust yours - and were HISTORY. Sure, I say warmly. See? I pick my battles. So were cool? I never realized how few grins Ive gotten from her until she gave me now. Shes smiled, laughed, giggled, but now, I got a full grin, and her pretty eyes sparkled. Yeah, Montgomery, were cool. I was just leaning towards her with one intent, and one intent only, when I remembered that the room was off-limits to what I had in mind. Damn it! I protest. Can the bathroom please not be considered a part of the room? She snickered and kicked me off the bed. I land hard. Ow. I put on a pained expression on my face, stretched out on the floor on my back. She stops laughing after a moment and leans towards me. Crap. I didnt mean to

I grab her outstretched hand and yank her on top of me. Unfortunately, shes got great reflexes and wiggles off of me in about three seconds flat. She scowls down at me while I smirk up at her. Then, my eyes go to her cheek. Its almost gone; she doesnt have to cover it up any more with make up, but still, if I look carefully enough, its there, but could be easily dismissed as if it were a shadow. I brush my fingers over it gently, and she understands. Im okay, she says, awkwardly touching my hand with hers. I grab it and lace my fingers with hers. Good. Its silent for a moment. Shes got a distant expression on her face as if shes reflecting on something, and her eyes are fixed upon our intertwined hands. Im (obviously) watching her, and thinking about our small spat last night. I think I hurt her, because I didnt trust her. Which means I really should apologize. Let me say it right now, so I dont have to again. I HATE apologizing. Because it means I did something wrong. And I know Im human, but that doesnt mean that Im cool with flaws and shit. I hate mistakes just as much as the next person. And apologizing just puts you down, as I see it. I mean, I apologize. But when it comes to apologize for deeper stuff well, I dislike it. But because Jessie doesnt seem to want to bring it up again, and I really should address it rather than forget it for it to come back later Im sorry. She glances at me, startled. Come again? Now I have to repeat it? I said Im sorry, I say softly, holding her gaze. For making accusations about you and Jared earlier. She shrugs, uncomfortable. No problem. It is a problem, I point out. It hurt you. She shrugs again. Look, Montgomery, Im over him. For real. But you have to understand. Hes a friend of mine, and the twin of my best friend. Im going to see him a lot. And Im not going to avoid him just because youve got a problem with that. I mean, hes going out with Eva now, she adds. Fair enough. I puff up my cheeks and blow out a bit of air, and then raise my eyebrows. When did he and Eva get together? She grinned. Like about a week ago. Hmmm. Same time as the text message. Quite frankly, I thought Mrs. Smithers was the icing on the cake. Well, that was until Mrs. Smithers daughter strolled into the gym, smirking. It was Tuesday, and Jessie and the team were already a good half hour into practice. Theyd waited about five minutes for the surrogate coach to show up, and which point Jessie pulled out the all-purposeful Master key and

opened the sports office and the small room where the equipment was stored. The girls were in pairs, spiking to each other. I was watched as Jessie dove for a ball, but she missed it and it bounced past her, then rolled to a stop about a foot away from where Marie had just strutted in. She bent it over, and walked over to where Jessie had gotten to her feet. Here, Davidson. What are you doing here, Marie? Jessie snapped. This practice is only for people that MADE it on the team. Maries pretty face twisted in extreme dislike. I am on the team, she snapped. So you know what? Deal. By now, the gyms gone silent. Eva said loudly from the other side of the gym, Get the hell out of here, Marie. She scowled even more, and said a bit petulantly. I am. Coach said so. Jessie looked utterly thunderstruck, then, Coach is not here. The person who said you were in was your mommy, Marie, she said scathingly. Jesus, girl, dont you hear yourself? You didnt make into onto the team because you were afraid of the damn ball, and now your mothers our temp coach until we get a real one, and she sucked up and got you on. The point is, Im on, Marie started to say hotly what was this girl on? She thought she could just waltz on? You arent part of the team; they got in because they can actually play. Something you cant. Does Ms. Healthgot know of this? No, Marie said defiantly. Jessie instantly looked satisfied, until Marie leaned in close and whispered something quietly. From my point of view, I saw Jessie stiffen, then, back ramrod straight, stalk out the gym. Marie had a viciously satisfied look on her face, until she faced everyone else, got a good look at the expressions, and saw the look that she was getting from the rest of the team. I think today there are going to be TWO targets for stray balls. o0o0o0o0o0o So special to know that you are mine And I dont mind letting everybody know Never doubting never hurting Definitely not deserting I just wont let you go Jessies just like my sister in regards that she sings in the shower. However, unlike my sister, she can hold a tune, and hold it damn well. As I listen while doodling on the page where Im supposed to be doing math, her voice fades, and she turns the water off. Shes been, if having to shower when Im in the room, bringing her clothes into the room with her so shes all changed when she comes out. So it cheers me up when I glance at her bed and theres a pile of folded PJs. Guess shes going to have to come out in her towel.

Sure enoughDamn it! Her muffled voice comes. Then she opens the door a crack. Hey, Montgomery, can you get me my clothes? I studiously scribble down a math problem and begin solving it. Um. No. What? She says in disbelief. I turn around so Im facing the bathroom (Im at my desk) and mock scowl at her. Jeez, Jessie. Get it yourself. Im NAKED. You have a towel. I point out. Theres an angry silence, and then she sighs in disgust. Pervert. Close your eyes, then, while I get my stuff. Okay? I dont even dignify that with an answer. Shes quickly scooping up her clothes when I groan, loudly. I dont get this problem, I say in disgust. She glances at me, sighs, and pads a bit closer until shes about an inch from my body, close enough that I can feel the warmth of her body. She bends over my shoulder to peer at the problem. Oh! She says a moment later, obviously forgetting her state of undress. Its easy. She snatches the pen out of my hand, and scribbles a few calculations. Get it? Yeah, I do. No, I dont. She leans a bit farther over my shoulder, and her hair, curling from the dampness, brushes against my shoulder; I can feel the moisture seeping into my shirt. She writes some more stuff down, outlining every step, while I admire the clean line of her neck, where her pulse beats solidly at the base of her throat, where that bead of water slides down down down to vanish into the towel. Lucky water droplet. Jessies voice trails off when she realizes Im a lot more interested in what her towel exposes than the math homework. Montgomery, are you listening to me? Yeah, I say automatically. The answer is five point seven. She looks surprised. You actually were listening to what I was saying? Of course, I lie indignantly. What did you think I was doing? Erlets not go there, Jessie mutters, and vanishes into the bathroom. A minute later, she emerges wearing PJs covered in small drawings of martini glasses. Very cute, I say dryly. I know, right? she says. I heave a sigh. She sighs, too, and perches on the edge of my bed. Cant believe she got on, Jessie said glumly. Talk to I start to say, but she cuts me off sharply. Thats exactly what Marie wants me to do, and Im not giving her that satisfaction. She looks really pissed, and I bite back another sigh and a few comments about the foolishness of the decision as well.

What did Marie say to you? Id gone after her, and shed been angrily pacing the corridor, randomly kicking the wall and muttering things under her breath that I figured werent really complimentary of the beloved Smithers family. She hadnt talked to me, just brooded while Id tried to get her to talk to me. Nothing. Bull. I hate it when she closes me off like that. I mean, I know. Shes a pretty private person. Me? I like some communication. Some. Not too much. But right now, Im getting zip. Whatever she said pissed you off. She sighed, and flopped out on my bed, one arm crossing over her face so I cant make out her facial expression. She pretty much said that I should run off and tattle. More or less, She adds, her voice muffled. I abandon the desk to sit next to her and attempt to drag her arm off her face. Shes pretty strong for a girl, but after a small struggle I pry it off. Jessie, I say, annoyed, I dont like tattlers. Actually I hate them. Because theyd rat you out? She mutters. I ignore her, even though shes right. I never benefit from ratting, because Im usually the one that people rat ON. Like, Teacher, Rafael put green dye in my volcano project, and now the lavas brown, or, Mom, Rafael made an illegal move, thats why I fell and he made that goal and won the game. Excuse me, but Rafael was the last one near the class pets before they disappeared, and I think he flushed the fish down the toilet and put the mouse in Janes backpack. Teacher, it was Rafael that broke in to the principals office and stole all the student records and switched them around. (I always got away with it, if you were wondering. Not that Id done it or anything, you know) Talking about Marie isnt ratting, I reason. Shes unfairly getting credit for a team she has no intention of taking seriously, other than getting under your skin. Her mother is pushing her authority past the limits. If she gets injured, the schools liable for a lawsuit. I stuck the last one in because Jessie would probably see the light in it. Sure enough, Jessie half sat up. I dont know she trails off. Ill do it, I volunteer, If someone hasnt already beaten me to it. She half laughs, half sighs. No. I dont want you fighting my battles. When Im about to tell her that I want to, she says, dead serious, Im going to say it straight off the bat, that I hate people who do things for me without asking. Please dont interfere with my business. Its my fight to pick, mine to fight, mine to win or lose. Please. I clamp my mouth on the comment that almost slipped out. Who did something for you you dont like? Your mother? I wanted to ask. Because your mother married rich, maybe? Because she said it would be good for you, Jessie?

I felt suddenly a bit powerless. Jessie had so many demons, but she wouldnt let anyone help her; she wanted to stand alone. Im the type of guy that will jump in to help. She obviously expected me to stay out of her problems; I fully intended to solve them for her, one way or another. Crap. I sure know how to pick them, dont I? My second thought was that, now, I really, really, REALLY couldnt have Jessie find out about her brother and I. Because, thats KINDA fighting her battle for her, isnt it? o0o0o0o0o0o Hello again, My Spanish teacher called me up to class, and told me that theres a sponsored program for a few excelling students to go study in Spain for a few months. Like, maybe two, three tops. My grades wouldnt be affected, and do you have any idea how good itll look on my transcript? I said Id think about it. But I think it would be awesome. Dont you? Marie, being the deceiving little biatch that she is, got Mommy to let her on the team. Marie made some nasty little comment about me running off the second something goes wrong. Which pissed me off. So I didnt. Rafael got me to tell him what she said to me, and he pointed out that Marie kind of deserves it. Which is nice and all, but the fact that he got me to talk to him Like, I know its a small detail, but I dont like to talk about my problems with people, even if Im really close to them. I mean, its my life, and interference just messes it up. It makes you dependent. I mean, my Mom was so dependent on my Dad, not only financially, but also more importantly, she needed him emotionally. He was her bulwark, and without him? Shes not the same. And itll be a cold day in Hell when I let something like that happen to me. But RafaelI dunno. Like, hes charming. And he knows it too. He just flashes those grins, asks people to jump, and they all ask how high. I mean, I dont. Unfortunately its those stares that get to me. I dont even know if he realizes hes doing it. Ill be in History, and Ill glance at him out of the corner of my eye, and hell just be staring at me with those incredible eyes. Repulsive, isnt it? Theyre just EYES. Light blue ones. They go really dark and midnight-ish clear when were alone, if you catch my drift. Im beginning to worry about this little so-called relationship we have. I dont know, Im just worried about it getting out of control. Because, he may act laid back, but Jesus. When he kisses, its scary. He just knows exactly how to play a girl into wanting more. And wanting more is bad. Because we cant. We just cant. And he just doesnt seem to get that. Gotta go. The game is tomorrow, and Im a bit tired. Xoxo

Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Jessie! The sound of my own voice wakes me up. With a harsh indrawn breath, I jackknife to a sitting position. The sheets are tangled around my legs, and Im sweating like Ive just run a mile. I glance down and shut my eyes with a pained groan. This isnt fair. I HATE cold showers. Hate them with a passion. But what else can I do? As few images of the dream I just woke up from flashes in my head, I whimper. This SUCKS. I get up (gingerly) and I could have SWORN I was walking towards the bathroom, but instead, I found myself next to Jessies bed. Shes breathing in quiet, even breaths. I glance along the bed, and sure enough, theres a sock about to fall on the floor. I reach out and pick it up. Its still warm from her body. I grit my teeth. This is hell. Screw eternal fires, try obsessing about a girl whos in the bed next to yours and theres nothing you can do? Yeah. I reach out, then stop, my hand a hairsbreadth away from her lips. Its so tempting to trace her mouth with my fingers. And then with my tongue. And then No. I promised. Stupid promises always get me into more trouble then theyre worth. No more promises, I promise myself. See? Cant win. Im about halfway to the bathroom when I hear a soft, Rafe? Awww, God, cut a horny guy some slack! I sigh and turn only my head around. Yeah? Go back to sleep, Jessie. Why are you awake? Shes sitting in bed, her hair in a limp ponytail with most of it out and waving around her face. She also looks like shes liable to fall right back asleep any second now her bodys kind of listing to one side, and her eyelids are halfway shut. Because I had a bad dream. Depends how you look at it. Want to tell me about it? She says sleepily, her eyes already beginning to close again because of exhaustion. No, I say more sharply than I intended. That would be awful. She scowls at me. Dont get snappy at me. Its not MY fault. Yes, it is, I say before I can stop myself. Oh yeah? How? She challenges me, eyes flashing angrily as she gets a small adrenaline surge. I just had to say something, didnt I? Why are you always blaming She breaks off abruptly. A second later, she gives a huge yawn. Then, she mutters, - blaming me? Fine. You know what? Fine. I turn around fully. Thats how. Happy? Her gaze drops south, and her jaw slackens. Then her gaze shoots to mine, and, instead of the disgust, horror, or even a Haha, sucks for you!, she

swallows hard, bites her lip, and looks cautious, but I suddenly know, I just know, that if I went to her, she wouldnt stop me. Our gazes lock. And then that (deliriously fun) moral battle starts up again. One part of me says, You made promise to not only Jessie, but to Ms. Healthgot! but the other part of me (guess which one?) says, Go for it! After a period of time that could have been seconds or minutes, I drag my eyes off hers, turn around, and go into the bathroom. And because I dont think the next moral war would have the same outcome, I decide to stay in the bathroom for the rest of the night. Dont try it at home, kids. o0o0o0o0o0o I think the next morning would have been a bit strange, because Jessie has that game and it wouldnt help if she felt thrown off because of that. Assuming she even remembers it. I mean, she was deadbeat. So I decided to avoid that by dragging my lazy, pretty ass out of bed (yeah, so I lied. After an hour in the bathroom, my back started aching so I went back to bed) when I woke up, got ready, and grabbed my bag just brimming over with homework. Um. I was kidding about the homework part. Anyway. So I got up early. And, feeling a bit sentimental and a whole lot horny, I decided it was high time to go out for a morning walk. Glancing out the window, I realized that I couldnt see far, because there was a thick fog outside. I grab a sweater, root under my bed for two minutes to find my sneakers (I really ought to clean up this stuff) (not), pull them on. I start to walk to the door and nearly topple over because Id forgotten to tie the laces. I glance at Jessie; it would have been typical of her to wake up just in time to see me stumble. But she stayed fast asleep, her lashes casting the faintest of shadows on her cheeks. She had her arms wrapped around a pillow, and her body was curled in a fetal position. She looked all soft and cuddly and damn it there was another sock! I got the hell outta Dodge. The school was barely stirring. Here and there lights were slipping out from door cracks, and other morning people were padding around the corridors, many still in PJs. One girl was even wearing these huge pink bunny slippers with eyes that wobbled around on springs. I should get Jessie that for her birthday or something. Can you imagine her face when she would unwrap it? Kodak Moment! Okay. Must stop thinking about Jessie. I reach the first floor, glance around. Its awfully early. No ones up yet. Absolutely alone, and nothing to distract me from the idea of Rafael?

I whirl around, startled. My heart slows down when I see the pretty girl coming down the stairs wearing sneakers, sweatpants, a loose white top. Anne! She reaches me. Sorry, didnt mean to scare you. I wasnt scared, I lied. Hmmm. She lets that hang in the air for a moment, and then she says, What are you doing? Dont you need to sleep, like the rest of us mere mortals? I shrug. Cant sleep. Well, actually I can. But if I do, I might dream about Ah, you, I say hurriedly. Do you always get up this morning? I mean, around this time? She gestures to her outfit. I always enjoy a morning jog. Wheres your sweater? I keep warm. She heads for the main doors, opens them, and glances at me. Are you going to run? Walk. I step out, and breathe in deeply. The grass is green and sparkling with dew, the fog thick and holding moisture. Absently, I run a hand through the air. Cool. She rolls her eyes at me. Its gorgeous out here. But seriously. Why are you up? Cant I get up extra-early once in a while without seeming suspicious? No. She peers at me carefully. You and Jessie have another fight? No, I grumble. Im not going to pick a fight with her when shes got an important day today. Hey. Maybe she picked one with you. TruebutNo, she really didnt. Well, if you do fight, please tell me so I have warning to clean the room a bit before Jessie storms in with clothes in one hand and a blanket roiled under the other, demanding to sleep on the floor because she doesnt want to be in the same room as a you. As a me? I say, raising an eyebrow. What did she really say? Something rude, Anne said primly. But if you really want to know, she said you were a I shake my head. Never mind. I dont want to talk about Jessie. I dont want to think about her at all. (Lying in bed in our room) This cant be good. You know, I thought this relationship was going well. I thought it would be easily controlled, but now, Im not so sure. Maybe if we were in separate schools, hell, separated ROOMS might do the trick, but its like were living together. Kind of like a serious commitment, and if all my nights start turning out like this I moan. Bad, bad, bad. Whats bad? Were wandering along that little stream by the school. Um Halloween, I say. Halloween Dance. Do we have one?

Nope. Got cancelled because a bunch of seniors last year snuck off to the bedrooms and Can we not talk about Jessie? My mind just veered off into that direction I didnt want it to go into. What does that have to do with Jessie? Anne says, bewildered. Then she shuts her eyes with a groan. No. I dont want to know. I really dont want to. I wait a second. What happened? Nothing! I half-yell. Absolutely nothing, or I wouldnt be out here. But I keep that comment to myself. So, what is there? Prom? Anne nods. My old school had actually had a junior Prom. So I get two Proms. That rocks. Are you going? I dont have a date, she says wryly. Any guy that looks at me is signing his name to a contract that lets Jared kick his butt from here to the moon. I glance at her as she walks next to me. A bit on the short side, those brilliant eyes, dark fall of hair, and petite frame boyfriend? I thought she was into other girls. Damn. Im usually never wrong about that type of stuff. Tessa helped me out a lot with that. We would be sitting in a caf talking and she would suddenly kick my leg as hard as she could (which was hard) to get me to shut up (which always worked). See that really hot girl in the corner? Shed hiss. That girl is bi and she knows it, too. And then she would abandon me to go prove it. Tessa was a heartbreaker for everyone, despite the fact that the guys all know shes only interested in girls. Should I say something? Bad idea. So all I say is, Then you can always ask someone instead of waiting for it to happen to you. And that was it; the rest of the time we just chatted about noncommittal things, gossip, and other small details. Anne pointed out some nice spots along the stream, and one small area where there was a nice sized niche in the bank that was a perfect place to have a picnic (or tan?) and was screened by bushes. Nothing really substantial. Which was just fine with me, as I was busy pondering Anne, Jessie, the upcoming volleyball game, Jessie, that I should go hang out with Jared sometime after school, and Jessie. Occasionally, I even thought about Jessie. Not that much, though. I sigh. Also because I just realized that Im late for first period. When I mention it, Anne finally decided to tell me that she didnt have first period, and shed forgotten that I did. Thanks, Anne I walk in a bit late to History. The teacher doesnt say anything, and I slouch into my seat. After a few minutes, I dart a glance at Jessie. Shes calmly

writing away in her notebook. I glance down at my notes; so far Ive filled up a page and a half during the whole semester. I glance at Jessie, and shes looking right at me. When she realizes shes caught my eye, she mouths, where were you this morning? I blink. Um, to avoid the awkwardness? I mouth, Last night Last night? She mouths back, a puzzled expression on her face. I eye her carefully. Shes kidding, right? She doesnt remember? Anything? She must have been more tired than I thought. Just to make sure, I mouth, I woke you up. She shrugs with a small smile, pretty much confirming that shed forgotten everything. She HAD been really tired, so Damn it, I got my ass out of bed that early for nothing? 16 Someone had told Ms. Healthgot about Marie sneaking onto the team. Rumors spread about Mrs. Smithers being relieved from her post; about Marie throwing a huge BF (not a boyfriend, people, but a bitch fit). Then again, someone also told people she thought I was gay, which is why I only look at gossip for the kernel of truth. The kernel of truth in that last rumor? Im too good to be true. Well, almost too good. Because here I am, right? But you all knew that. So on with the rumors. I pretty much figured that Mrs. Smithers was still in charge of watching the team for a bit longer, but Marie was off not even twenty-four hours after she got on. Around fourth period, I heard that Jessie and Marie had had a confrontation in the hallway, mostly yelling, nothing more. I went to lunch; Jessie said calmly that it was just a little tiff. Seventh period, two freshmen were discussing two seniors whod started shoving each other before other students intervened and dragged them apart. I whipped out my handy dandy cell phone and texted Jessie. Anything you want to tell me? She would be in Drama right now, and probably watching a movie. Im in the Shakespearean class. Were doing Hamlet. Im in class! I roll my eyes. Thats y we r txt not calling I mean, not like her phones going to be taken or anything. And I want to know whats going on. I was going to go to the movies with Dan (the gay one) and Carl (the homophobe); always a source of amusement, because theyre friends. Neither would admit it for the world, though. But if Jessies going to get herself into something, I would rather be there to help. Wat do u wanna kno?

I glance at the teacher; shes talking about Ophelia dying. I can miss that lecture easily. Kind of depressing. I bet Queen Gertrude did it anyway, because she describes HOW Ophelia dies. Like, was she watching? Everyone in that book seriously needed to see a therapist ASAP. What happened w M 7th per? I mean, not that Im expecting a whole account. I wonder if shell lie to me? Probably not. Most likely shes going to mitigate it to some little disagreement between the two of them or something. Just an argument jeez take a chill pill. Excuse me? I dont need a chill pill. Jessie and Marie do. Or just Marie, for that matter. BS u guys r gonna get in a fight if u dont stop Though a good fight may do the world a favor. I really think Marie needs to go down once and for all. I would do it, but Im a guy. Doesnt always work that way. I can help, but it has to be ultimately another girl. Like Jessie. Im not going 2 get in a fight. G2g ttyl JESSIE! B careful She didnt text me back. I figured either shed gotten annoyed that I was, as she would put it, butting in, or she was seriously going to watch her back. As it was, it was neither. Jessie had neglected to tell me that Marie was in her Drama class. I thought just Eva was; the rest of the girls I didnt really care about. And apparently, Marie saw Jessie on her cell and told the teacher. Hence, Jessie lost her cell phone, and when I saw her, she obviously was torn between yelling at me for texting her in the first place, or putting the blame entirely on Maries head. You texted me back, was the first thing I said when I next saw her in the hallways before she could try to trip me. Dont blame me. She scowled. I need my phone, Montgomery. I glance inside her class, saw a pretty young woman shuffling papers. A familiar phone was lying on the desk next to her. Hey, is she married? Her left hand is out of sight. I dont think so, how would I know? Wedding band? I say, like its the most obvious thing in the world. Which, I guess, is pretty up there. Sorry, Montgomery, Im not used to looking for them, Jessie says acerbically. I dont like my guys that old. I shrug. Fine. And I saunter into the room. She glances at me for a brief second, then does a cute double take. Shes a petite brunette, and pretty in an understated way. May I help you, Mr. Montgomery? Crap. I was going to flirt a bit while surreptitiously sliding the cell into my pocket, but she really reminds me of my sister. Thats disgusting. So I

quickly regroup my thoughts. AhI was wondering. Does the drama class ever do any performances? She looks a bit surprised. Yes, we do. The boys school also does Drama, and once a year we have a performance, usually later on in the year. I blink. Oh. Really. Um, what type of performances? Anything, really. West Side Story, The Glass Menagerie, Les Mis Shakespeare? I put my hand on the desk, about an inch from Jessies cell phone. She doesnt notice, as she launches into a full description of the plays: We tend to shy away from Shakespeare, because it tends to dominate school plays, though I was thinking of doing Romeo and Juliet soon I slide my fingers around the phone and smile enchantingly. A Midsummer Nights dream would be an entertaining comic relief. I babbled, not really caring what came out of my mouth. You know, it would be cool if the Shakespearean class could mix with the Drama, perhaps. Yes, it would be, she says thoughtfully. Well, Ill think about it. Nice to meet you, Mr. Montgomery. I was already halfway out the door. You too! Jessie got her cell phone back promptly, which cheered her up so much that we made use of the usually empty classrooms on the eighth floor for the next half hour, and then went down to the gym so Jessie could do a bit of practicing. The gym was empty for most of the time, too, if you were wondering. Because, as seniors, our schedules were less heavy, Jessie had to set up the net for the game. Which we had to get from the (secluded) gym office. The students begin at trickle in towards the end of classes while we were lazily bumping the ball over the net at each other. Melissa, the junior that had hit Mrs. Smithers cell phone and nail a good way across the room, said cheerfully, Beach volleyball, anyone? I groan. Beach volleyball gym-style. Its exhausting. Normally, you have six people per side; Melissa wanted to play two people per side. In other words, its a lot harder. Ill play. I reach under the net and snag Jessies T-shirt. Shes with me. Eva joins in saying, Ill go with Melissa. But I dont miss the curious glance she shoots between Jessie and me. I dont acknowledge it; shes a smart girl; shell figure it out. Or get Jared to spill. Its a bit disturbing; a guy can hold a secret to himself, but the second he gets a girlfriend, chances are shell know everything after a week or so. Ive seen it happen. I wasnt surprised to realize that Jessie and I worked really well together. Like, I know its just a sport, but it means we kind of trust each other to watch our backs, and we understand each other. Life sure is random when I realize things like that because of beach volleyball. But, hey, we beat Eva and Melissa twenty-five to thirteen. Not bad at all I smile at Jessie, and she

grins back, wiping a small line of sweat off of her forehead. Im a bit overheated myself; so I wander towards the bleachers and sit down to just relax. A freshman takes my place, and a sophomore takes Evas. They continue to play, with Melissa and Jessie calling out advise and encouragement, while Eva makes her way towards me, and sits down with a little sigh of relief. I glance at the tall, stately blonde. Good game. She laughs lightly, leans her back against the bleacher seat behind her. You and Jessie blew us out the water. Both of you can spike like crazy. I sure as hell dont want to get down for those. Well, I say modestly. We work well together. She fixes me with piercing gray eyes. You want to tell me more about how well you guys work together? Jeez. Overprotective friends are nice to a certain extent. First Anne, now Eva? And, besides it being a bit annoying, it means people have noticed. And if Jessie realizes it, then Ill have to work extra hard to keep everything working smoothly. I counter, How are you and Jared? I couldnt hold back the laugh when she blushed. Im just playing. She shrugs it off, even though theres still a tinge of color on her cheekbones. But seriously. Jessies seemed a bitdistracted as of late. Do you have anything to do with that? I have EVERYTHING to do with that, but before a tiny harmless little white lie can slide off my tongue, Mrs. Smithers stalks in, her pointy heels clicking in an uneven rhythm. She looks, to say the least, furious. And, when her eyes fix malevolently on Jessie, I realize that Mrs. Smithers has decided that the fuss was all Jessies fault, no matter who had actually spilled the beans and cause Marie to be shown the door. Mrs. Healthgot came into the gym, only a minute or so behind Mrs. Smithers. Ladies! She says loudly, clapping her hands. She shoots me a glance. And Rafael. The away team has arrived, and theyll be here soon. I trust that they will be treated courteously. If they treat US courteously, someone mutters, and everyone nods in agreement. Ms. Healthgot eyes us all with disapproval before continuing: I realize this season had a bad start, but I have faith in you, she says firmly. Theyll be allowed to practice on our court for the next hour until the game. Please help set up the bleachers. Bleachers? A new girl asks nervously. Why, of course! Ms Healthgot says gaily. Im sure all our friends would love to watch you play. Guys, too? The girl asks. Yes. All the girls wince. We gotta win this, Melissa says glumly. My boyfriend would never let me live it down if we lost. o0o0o0o0o0o

Im not going to detail the first game. The score was 25-5, and wed lost it. The girls rallied up for the second game, and won 25-21. Glancing at the bleachers, I saw that Jared had abandoned sitting on the bleachers. I knew how he felt; it was agony sitting down when I wanted to join in and help in some way. He was yelling out encouragement, and Dan was on the other side, having a verbal fight with some girl whod come to support the away team. The referee blew the whistle, and the girls hurried back on the court. Each team had one once; this final game would decide the victor. Jessie rubbed her hands together nervously, and glanced at me. Knock them dead, I mouthed, and she smiled back before the ref blew the whistle and game started. Both teams played hard. If either team couldnt find empty space to target for a spike, they targeted an unprotected face. Two girls on the away team were out, and a sophomore took one to the nose and had to be taken out. By now, the game was tied, 20-20. Eva served the ball, and aced. The ref looked at me and I held my arms straight out, palms down; it was a line ball. The score changed to 21-20. I grinned to myself as I hear a loud whoop coming from Jareds direction. Eva takes the ball as its rolled to her, and serves again. The other team catches it, and sets it nicely for a spike. Looking back on it, there wasnt a mistake made; it was just that the spike was well aimed and, despite a good block, the ball hits Jessie in the face. The whole crowd sucked in its breath to let out in a hiss of sympathy as the ball glances hard off of her cheek and towards the setter, who sets it automatically. One of the other girls manages to hit the ball over the net, and thankfully, its hit wrong and it glances off a girls arms and off the court. The ref blows the whistle a moment later, signaling a substitution for Jessie. Jessies getting shakily to her feet, but when I start to move towards her, he ref impatiently motions for me to stay in place. One of the most important things in a game is to stay on a refs good side; if hes deciding which team should get a point if its a close call, favoritism is bound to pop up. So I grit my teeth and stare at her, willing her to make eye contact to make sure shes okay. She does, finally, and gives a crooked smile, and I let out my breath in relief. Mrs. Smithers is just sitting in a chair, looking completely bewildered by the actions of both teams and hand signals of the ref. What she DOES understand was, a few minutes after Jessie was taken out, our team lost the lead. It was now 24-25. If the other team scored once more, the game was lost. She stands up and waves her arms frantically. I want to put her back in! she says shrilly. Jessie sighs, but puts aside the ice pack shed gotten, and goes back on the court, slapping hands as she jogs to her place, which is up front. The other

ball serves, and Melissa bumps it perfectly to the setter, who backsets it to Jessie. She takes a short run, then leaps up, and dinks it neatly. That was nice. So, the score is 25-25. We have to have a two-point lead to win. A senior I dont know (from our team) serves the ball right down the line in a great ace. Our team leans down and slaps the floor hard twice Ace! They yell out together. Spectators from the girls- and guys- school leap up, pounding their feet against the bleachers. The line person on the other side receives the ball and rolls it back to our side. The girl picks it up, and looks at the score nervously. 25-26. One more point She serves hard, but the other team catches it, and sends it back. One of the girls on our team hits it wrong, and it goes flying. Eva dives for it, managing to slide her body around and under it so she can bump it back into the game, and Jessie bumps it over. Eva, unfortunately, goes skidding into the bleachers, and hits her hip hard. Theres no time for a substitution, and Evas had the breath knocked out of her; the remaining teammates quickly rearranges to cover the gap. Just in time, as the ball comes back over hard. Its set, and Jessie once again goes up for a spike. But the other team was ready, and Jessie has no room to dink. So she spikes as hard as she could, but it was partially blocked by the other teams block. But, as the whole gym watches in dead silence, the ball teeters along the rim of the net, rolling towards the other side of the court. Because the other team had crowded around where Jessie would have spiked, theyd left the other side of the court completely empty; which proved to be saving grace. The ball toppled off the net and fell right on the boundary line, inches away from a desperate attempt from the other team to bump it. There was a beat of silence, and then the ref extends his hand in the direction of our team and says, One point for Cooper. Game OVER! Like a wave, the students poured out from the bleachers and engulfed the team, screaming and yelling and hugging. Not caring who saw me, I snagged Jessie around the waist, lifted her up effortlessly, and spun her around. She was grinning so hard, I thought her face would split. We did it! She yelled at me. Holy SHIT I thought the ball would fall on our side! It took a good five minutes for the teachers to get some order so that the two teams could shake hands. The other team did so with bad grace, and instantly Ms. Heathgott was there. Thomason, youll be using the locker room first. My girls, either go to your room or wait here. Why wait? I ask puzzled, as Jessie grabs my arm and drags me out the gym with the flow of students. She heads for a small corridor behind the gym, one that no one uses because the only things to be found are some storage closets. Im pretty familiar with this place by nowsure enough, Jessie pushes me against the wall, slides a hand into my hair and drags my face down.

Happy? I ask wryly a few minutes later. Did I mention that I love her uniform? I was too into the game to (fully) appreciate it later, but now, with those tiny shorts and the fitted jersey Yum. The question totally distracts her. Yeah, I am! I was so scared we were gonna lose because weve been so disorganized andandwhat are you grinning at? Youre really cute, I admit. Its totally true. Her whole face is flushed, with loose tendrils of hair framing her face, her lips rosy and eyes sparkling happily. Now, she looks almost beautiful. I brush my lips over her smiling ones. Youre one helluva girl, you know that? She turns (even more) red, but a moment later, I glance sharply at the opening in the corridor I could have sworn I saw movement. Jessie pulls away from me so fast she almost stumbles. What? Was someone there? No one, I say hurriedly, and quickly distract her. I dont think it was anything. I sure hope not, because for a momentI could have sworn I saw a flash of red hair and pale skin, and the only person I know in the school with that specific coloring. Marie. o0o0o0o0o0o It ends up that its tradition for the girls to wait until the other school leaves (which they do quickly and angrily) to change together and talk about the game. Well, thats what Jessie told me, but it was more like scream about it. The racket from the locker room was incredible, and that was with the door closed. I was helping Mrs. Smithers put away the gym equipment. In other words, she sat on the bleachers while I did the work. It was an awkward silence, to say the least. She was really pissed that Marie got booted off the team, and I suspect Ms. Healthgot told her off a bit about letting Marie practice. Good game, huh? Humph. Great comeback. I remark. Eh. Well, that last point was awesome, I chatter away to the wall, as Mrs. Smithers wasnt really holding up her end of the conversation. I mean, that almost never happens. Thank God it didnt fall on our side, or we woulda lost the lead, and who knows what would have happened? Maybe CRASH! Marie stalks into the gym angrily. I wanted to play, Mom! She shrieks. Mrs. Smithers gets off her lazy ass (finally!) to hurry over. Darling she starts, but Marie wasnt having any of it.

I HATE JESSICA! She hollers, and charges into the girls locker room. Theres a moment of silence, and then the yells start up again, a lot louder than before, if possible. Thats.not good, to say the least. I start to run in after her, but Mrs. Smithers shows common sense at the wrong time and yelps, Theyre changing, Raffie! You cant go in! And she rushes in to break up anything that may happen, saying, Ill have it under control in a moment, if not Ill call for help And the locker room closes behind her. Id seen the look on Maries face. Fourthreetwoone I count out loud. RAFFIE! Her high pitched voice shatters into the air a moment later. Right on the dot, too. How good am I? Theres one main difference, Ive noticed, between girls fighting and guys fighting. Guys tend to hurdle a few insults, fist their hands, and try to threaten their way into a quick defeat, or, if not, they start swinging and wrestling. Girls, well, they bitch, then everything looks like its okay, and the next thing you know out of NOWHERE they leap at each other and start punching, biting, clawing, ANYTHING. Im really happy to be a guy, thank you very much Sure enough, when I run into the locker room, all the girls are in a circle, shouting and yelling encouragement. In the center holy CRAP, Marie and Jessie are in tangled heap on the floor. Maries pretty much biting and pulling hair, while Jessie waits until theres an opening, and she punches. As I watch in absolute fascination, Jessie hauls back and hits Marie in the jaw in a vicious undercut. Marie topples over, dazed, and Jessie jumps on top of her. RAFFIE! Mrs. Smithers shrieks again. She cant do anything, because the two girls are fighting so viciously that it would be impossible to break them apart without considerable strength. The other team members dont seem very inclined to jump in, as Jessies quickly getting the upper hand. RAFFIE! Mrs. Smithers screeches for a third time. Oh, yeah. Oops. I leap into the center, and a bunch of girls yelp; some of them are in various stages of undress. Jessies actually wearing nothing but those short, tight gym shorts and a black sports bra, but I decide to ponder that later. Now, Im too busy trying to haul Jessie off of Marie. It was hard; she had a good grip on her hair and was prepared to slam her head against the floor. So I grab her and drag her off, pushing her against the wall as she continues to struggle. Jessie! I yell at her. Stop! Stop! I can see the second my voice penetrates whatever rage shes in. Her eyes lose the anger, and are filled with shock and horror, and her body goes slack. Oh, God She whispers.

Mrs. Smithers is on the ground next to Marie, who seems to be in total shock. She looks up and pins Jessie with a look of total hatred. Who started this? She hisses. Its obvious that the fact that every person in the room swore it was Marie did absolutely nothing to sway Mrs. Smithers opinion. o0o0o0o0o0o Id been waiting outside Mrs. Healthgots room for two hours by now, pacing back and forth while a huge wave of Jessies friends (she was a lot more popular than I thought) sat around miserably. No friends of Marie showed up; everyone was pissed. I was dead furious, too. God DAMN it! I should have stopped Marie before she went into the locker room. Id let her, because a part of wanted Jessie to take Marie down; I knew shed be able to. But Jessie had been the obvious victor; which would count against her. It would go on her transcript, no doubt, and would be a drawback for colleges. I mean, by this time, she probably knew where she wanted to go; I didnt. If she gets suspended The door opens, and Mrs. Healthgot comes out. We all look at her. Her face is stern and cold and angry. Never a good sign. What happened? Eva pleaded. Shes sitting nearby, Jareds arm around her. Mr. Montgomery, I need you to come inside, Mrs. Healthgot says grimly. Me? What did I do? I follow her inside the office, well aware that a billion eyes are drilling holes into my back. We pass by the secretary and into the inner office. Mrs. Smithers has her arm around Marie, whos holding her stomach and an ice back to a rapidly swelling eye. Jessie got her good with those punches. Jessie, however, wasnt unscathed. She was sitting awkwardly, keeping weight off of her left thigh, and she had scratches over her face, neck, and arms where Marie had clawed at her. She was sitting as straight as possible, a stolid expression on her face, but I could tell she was in pain and, quite possibly on the verge of tears. Sit down, please, Ms. Healthgot said. I shake my head and go stand next to Jessie, putting a hand on her shoulder. In a move that shocked me, she shook it off viciously. Please repeat what you said, Ms. Smithers, Mrs. Healthgot said coldly. Marie lifted tear-drenched eyes and her voice shook dramatically. I was walking around after the game and she pointed at me and Jessie, I saw them all over each other in the hallway. Theyre sleeping together, I just know it! This is a good time to say the shit has officially hit the fan.

Every girl wore black the next day. Which was nice and all, but it didnt do shit. I still had to continue packing my stuff to move out. Id argued that Marie was making it all up, because she was pissed about the whole making the team issue, and that no one could prove it. I did all the talking; Jessie just sat there, with a resolute look on her face, like shed made a major decision. Damn it, I HATE it when she makes big decisions. Theyre always anti-me. After my angry speech, a heated argument with Marie that Ms. Healthgot calmed down quickly, and Mrs. Smithers putting her two cents in, the decision was made: Thanks to Mrs. Smithers freaky beliefs in me, she actually sided with me in that Marie was making up our relationship. Marie didnt like that, but she looked satisfied when Jessie got kicked off the volleyball team because of the fight. At this point, Mrs. Smithers looked extremely satisfied, until Mrs. Healthgot told her a qualified coach was coming to the school, and that her service was no longer needed. Mrs. Smithers stalked out, leaving her daughter behind. I havent seen her since. Jessie took the blow well; the only time she showed a reaction was when both Marie and Jessie were informed the fight would go on their permanent record. Her face tightened, and for a second, I thought she would cry. But she didnt. I didnt take my blow as stoically. What! I had yelled. I will move you to the boys school until this wholefiasco has died down. But my classes! Youll do fine. But I said youd do fine, and this arrangement, hopefully, wont be permanent. So please be on your best behavior, and well see what we can do.

I stare at Mrs. Healthgot for a long, tense moment. Then I looked at Jessie, silent in her chair, and then I looked at Marie, looking a bit shocked. I dont think she realized that I might go, instead of Jessie. Stupid, meddling BITCH! Now how the hell was I going to fix this up with Jessie? I shot her one last agonized look, then turned around and stalked out the office, past the spying secretary, and into the hallway, slamming the door has hard as I could behind me. Every person in the hall jumped, and they all looked like they were dying to ask me what had happened, but something about the way I looked must have kept their mouths shut. I went straight to our room, Jared and Eva following me. I told him everything. Afterwards, Eva got a calculating look on her face. Jared squeezes her hand. Revenge on Marie? He asked, and Eva nodded brusquely. I stared at their clasped hands. Would Jessie let me do that? I mean, this was the whole reason that she hadnt wanted anything to do with me. Oh, my God. Would she even TALK to me? Of course she would. I mean, Im mind-boggling, and on top of that, we sleep in the same room. And the second I get my hands on her, Im going to talk really fast, really smooth, and hopefully really convincing. I mean, technically, she got in trouble for the fight. Not, you know, doing anything with me. But then I remembered what shed said to me: Fine. But one more close call my definition of a close call, not yours, I dont trust yours - and were history. She might, just might, have considered that a close call, you know? 0o0o0o0o0 The ancient secretary at the boys school peers at me. Do you have a pass? The old bat must have gone blind, because Im carrying my suitcase of the more necessary items. Id left most of my stuff back at my old room because, first of all, I better be back in there soon, and I would need a good excuse to go back in there to see Jessie. Because I still havent seen her. Either shes been avoiding me, or shed been temporarily bunking in another room. Probably both. I ignore the old woman, just like I had the last time, and storm into the deans office. He was ready, though, and held out a few pieces of paper. Your room number, and your schedule. He fixed me with a sharp stare. I hope you behave well. He glanced past my shoulder, to where Jared and

Dan were waiting for me. His mouth tightened disapprovingly. Your behavior until now, I heard, has been very good. Hi, Mr. Gray! Dan says, waving cheerfully. Mr. Coulter. The deans lips, if possible, tightened even more. You have at least fifty-two hours of detention to make up before you graduate. Jared snickered. Mr. Gray turned on him. And you have about two hundred and seventythree, Mr. Michaels. Its all recorded he points at an official looking record book on his desk right in here. In PEN. By the way the two boys were eyeing it, I dont think that the pen would last very long in legible condition on the page. Mr. Gray turned back to me. Thats all, Mr. Montgomery. Classes start promptly at eight Oclock tomorrow. Do not be late. And with that, he turns around and starts going through a file cabinet. It was really easy to pick up that black book on my way out the room. Mr. Gray didnt even notice. (Fool.) We sneak out the office, leaving my stuff in the secretarys office; itll be safe. Clutching the book, I follow Jared and Dan into the hallway. Jared grabs a trashcan from inside an empty classroom, and drags it into a bathroom. Dan and me follow him. Dan fishes out a pack of matches. I dump the book into the metal can and Dan drops in a lighted match, and we watch in companionable silence as the book goes up in flames. Welcome to the Cooper High School for Boys, Jared says. Thanks. I say, before the fire alarms go off and we make a run for it. 0o0o0o0o0 It was Marie, I said angrily. Cant stand her, Trevor muttered. I was currently in Jareds room, sulking my head off. There were a bunch of guys in the room that I didnt know, and a few I did. Carl, as silent and intimidating as always, Dan, as aggravating towards Carl as always, was currently sitting as close to Carl as possible. Every couple of minutes he would

move closer an inch, and Carl would shift away. So far, theyve moved a grand total of seven inches. It was like a weird dance or something. Trevor was of medium height, dusky skin, straight black hair, and the tilted eyes that hinted of Asian ancestry. Another guy, whose name I forgot, said sarcastically, Then why did you date her sophomore year? Every guy pondered that for a split second, then laughed. Easy action? One said teasingly. I roll my eyes, then glance at my schedule. Id nearly blown when one of the guys glanced at the schedule, and started laughing hysterically when he saw my teachers. Apparently, I have the worst ones. Its like life had decided that Id had too much luck up to now. Figures Okay, Jared says. This is the way I see it. You wanna go back to the girls school? Then dont be good. Be awful. Get Mr. Gray so damn sick of you hell do anything to get rid of you. And, of course, to piss off the Headmaster, well steal his Twizzlers. Hes hiding them somewhere else, and we cant find them. Well all help you, Dan puts in eagerly. Im beginning to see why hes got so many detentions. Every guy nods. Because most of the guys in the room had detentions recorded in the book that no longer existed, everyone added in offers of help. Okay. Well, Ill go with a bang and leave a legacy behind people will laugh about for years, I vow. Im also in room 259. Anyone know who my roommate is? Room Jared starts, and then an evil grin spreads over his face. Ah, yes. Dont remember it? Now I do. Michaels old room, I say, feeling a sneer curve my lips. No wonder they had room for me. Whos his room mate? Dan blinks. Isnt his roommate that kidum. Oh, yeah! Carl elbows him, hard. Who? I ask, narrowing my eyes. I guess youll find out, Jared said nonchalantly.

I sure did. Because an hour later, I finally went by my room. And when my new roommate opened the door, I think it was pretty much in the air as to who was more shocked. You? I growl crossly. You? Brad squeaks. 0o0o0o0o0 Its eleven at night. I thought about going to visit Jessie, but I decided to give her a bit of time, because she MIGHT still be a bit pissed. So I decide to call her. Im stretched out on my bed, and Brad is lying on his stomach doing homework on his own. Curfew is eight Oclock here (I got to my room about half an hour ago) but we havent said a single word to each other. Maybe he senses I really wouldnt mind a punching bag now. I speed dial her number. It rings and rings and rings, and then finally, Jessie says, Hello. Jessie, I start to say, but her voice continues. Im not here right now, or I dont want to talk to you. To my friends: you know where to reach me. If this is Rafael, go screw yo I hang up, a scowl on my face. Whats wrong? Brad says, breaking the silence between us first. Jessies busy, I say briefly, hoping the icicles in my tone convey the message that I really dont give a shit about anything he says. Thats odd. Shes usually doing homework around now. And the little twerp takes out his own cell phone, jabs a few buttons, then waits. After about five seconds, he says, Hi, Jessie. Its Brad. I eye him. Hes bluffing. No, everything is alright. Just wondering how you are. He is bluffing, right? Jessie wouldnt ignore me but talk to Brad, would she? That totally defies the rules of high school society.

I heard about what happened, Brad says sympathetically. Im real sorry. Im asking you as a friend: do you want to meet up some time and hang out? A friend my well-toned BUTT. I leap up and grab the phone, easily shoving Brad back on the bed when he tries to get up to retrieve his phone. Hello? Montgomery? A familiar voice squeaks out in total shock to MY total shock, and then Jessie hangs up. SHIT! I yell. You werent freaking bluffing? I dont have to bluff, he says with dignity. Dont get pissed because Jessie prefers me over you. I plan to win her back, and theres nothing you can do to dissuade me. Oh yeah, asswipe? I growl, grabbing him by the front of his wrinkle-free shirt. Two swirlies later, toilet water and a promise to leave Jessie alone spills out of Brads mouth. After that, I go to bed, far from happy, but most definitely feeling better. I need my energy tomorrow. Its like the first day of school again, and I need to be at my most destructive. 0o0o0o0o0 Go down that hall, to the right, Jared says. And that teacher you have hates it when people are bored. Or disruptive. So have fun. And with that, he ducks into another classroom, leaving me all alone. Well, not really. Every guy knew of me, if they havent already talked to me, so every few seconds, someone would say hi to me. I recognize some guy Id seen at the movies, and jerked my head in acknowledgement. He smiled back, then tilted his head towards a knot of boys nearby. Jared had pointed them out earlier. A bunch of idiots who thought they were all that. The leader of them apparently had asked Jessie out, and received a sneak preview of the next Ice Age. I guess they were saying shit about me, now. Hmmm. Let me introduce myself, why not? When I get closer, I can make out the main guy was saying. Hey, you know that guy that got to stay in Jessies room?

Hes here now temporarily, then hell probably go back in. Or not. I mean, one of us tell our parents, or even the police, and its over. But Im not going to waste my time. Lucky bastard, he said admiringly. Yeah. I am. Im moving on sounds like harmless gossip to me - when I hear the guy continue. Well, apparently there was some trouble, dont know what, but now hes out of there. Bummer, too. I kinda hoped hes mess her up, so she would lose some of that attitude Jessica has. Fucking frigid bitch. I stop in my tracks. What, did the guy WANT to be killed? Thinks shes all that, the guy sneers to his friends. She needs to be tamed, dude. One good fucking should do it. His friends saw me coming and backed off, but the guy I was making a beeline didnt notice anything was wrong, and continued to puff himself up. Ill take her down. All I gotta do is get her alone and 0o0o0o0o0o0 Mr. Montgomery? Mr. Gray says in disbelief as a teacher hauls me in. What happened? He attacked a student in the hallway, the nosy teacher announces stuffily. No, I didnt, I argue heatedly. Yes, you did! No, I didnt! I yell back. Did you see me do anything? The teacher falters. Yep, damn straight. He didnt see me do anything but stand over the asshole, yelling at him, while he was on the floor in a tight ball, clutching his crotch with one hand and the other hand at the back of his head, which Id slammed into the conveniently nearby lockers nearby. His friends had scattered even before Id closed my fingers around the guys throat. Not that they got far. Some friends of Jareds had heard the commotion and assisted me. None of them were caught, though. Exactly, I continue. He was making derogatory remarks. Next thing I know, someone I cant identify attacked him then ran. I was merely berating him. Merely berating meaning cursing him out. But Mr. Gray didnt need to know that. I blink innocently.

Unidentifiable, you say? Mr. Gray says suspiciously. I wasnt really paying attention, I lie. What did the other students say? Mr. Gray asks the teacher. The tall skinny mans shoulders slumps. I didnt ask anyone. Well, Mr. Gray says in disgust. Then nothing can be done. Absolutely no one will speak up now. Go to class, Montgomery. And mind your manners; being brought to the Head Dean before school even starts isnt a good thing. Oh, and Mr. Montgomery? He adds when Im leaving the room. Hmmm? There was a small fire last night, and this morning, I discovered that my detention book was missing. Do you know anything about that? Me, sir? Yes, you. Nah. As it as, I arrived late for first period class. I recognized a few faces, and they grinned at me. Is this the math class? I ask in a bored voice, totally interrupting the lesson. The teacher, a brown-haired lanky dude in a rumpled suit, scowls at me. Yes, it is. Please take a seat next to Dan. He says. I do, and smile. Hey Dan. Hey, Rafael. The answer you should have gotten is Dude, I say loudly. The breakfast here is crap. I know, right? Dan says, an amused twinkle in his eye. A guy nearby leans over. Did you see that oatmeal? He asks me. If you plug this into your calculators, the answer in fact is It was GROSS! I state. Hey, teacher! I say. What was with the oatmeal this morning?

He glares at me. I dont see how this relates to math, Mr. Montgomery. Yeah. Its more like science. It looks like barf. A few students look a bit queasy all of a sudden. Mr. Montgomery, you are disrupting the class! the teacher says, agitated. Go sit in the back row. I sigh, heavily. Okay, okay. Fine. I get up, and drag myself to the back row, and, amid snickers, turn my chair around so my back is to the class and Im facing the window. Theres a gorgeous view of a stretch of fields, and in the distance, theres a faint smudge that can either be clouds or distant mountains. Montgomery? Yeah? You are presenting me with your back. Dont you want to face the board? I think the teacher is really getting annoyed. I yawn really big. No. Not really. Dead silence. A few muffled laughs. Then, the teacher ruins my fun by ignoring me after that, and continues teaching the lesson. So I reach into my bag, and take out a small rubber ball, and bounce it against the floor at an angle, so it hits the wall then comes flying back to me. Thump. Thump. Please take out your homework, The teacher drones on after a short moment of shocked silence. By now, one person is laughing nonstop. I think its Dan. If someone could put up problem Thump. Thump. At least like ten more snickers start up. Ah, maybe problem number six, if

Thump. Thump. The whole class is laughing. I I I CANT THINK! the teacher finally screams. Montgomery, out of my class! Go to the Head Deans office this instant! And two hours of detention after school! Fail to show up, and it quadruples! Thump. Thump. I catch the ball neatly. Okay, I say. And by the way, the problem on the board was answered wrong. It actually comes out to be two. And with that, I sweep grandly out the room. 0o0o0o0o0o0 I was disrupting the class, I say apologetically. Im really sorry, Mr. G. Gray. What? Call me Mr. Gray, He says stiffly. Please dont disrupt the class any more. No problem-o, Mr. G, I say breezily. The bell rings. Okay. I gotta go to my next class. See you around, Mr. G. And I walk out. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Jareds man in my next class is the computer geek named Julian. So, because its a computer class, we share a computer. He types in the password for the school system. Okay. What do you want to do? Erase stuff for some people, add to others. I decide. For the next half hour, we evaluate everyone. Hes really nice, Julian tells me. Poor guy cut because his friend was sick. Aw, I say, feeling all sentimental. Thats really nice. Can you clear the cut and raise his grades a bit? Sure, Julian says, and does so. We look at the next name. This is the guy you jumped in the hallway.

Asshole, I say heatedly. Lets lower all his grades by five points, give him some unexplained absences, and detention hours. Sure, Julian says agreeably. Hes a very agreeable guy. By the time the next bell rang, every computer in the lab was connected to the school system, and every guy was whispering excitedly has they went on a rampage through the grades. Next period, I had art. Everyone was in the large, airy room, laughing and comparing new grades, when the door opens quietly. I glance behind me, and wince. Theres this tall, skinny woman there, with thick glasses magnifying black, beady little eyes. Her hair is dead white, but she obviously curls it. Theres a big bald spot on the top of her head. Freaky. Sit down, She says in a sweet, wispy voice. Aw. Maybe shes not that bad. No one hears her, and continues talking. I dont think anyone but me noticed her coming in. I said SIT DOWN! She screamed all of a sudden, and a gob of spit hits me in the face. Dead silence dropped as the guys ran to their seats, leaving my muttered, say it, dont spray it, to echo around the classroom. She fixes those beady eyes on me, and I give her my best vacant stare back. After a moment she says, An hour detention, Montgomery. Jeez. Does anyone NOT know who I am? Yeah, I mutter, and sit down. It was obvious that everyone was deadly afraid of her. Great. Quite frankly, when I saw how she reverted to her sweet little voice, I got a bit nervous, too. Schizophrenics always do so. I mean, its like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde here. So you see why I decide to just play nice this period. She talks nice, but theres this glint of pure madness in her eyes. Art, she says, walking around the room until shes all the way on the other side of the classroom, right near a guy that looks like he wishes she were anywhere but next to him, its a wonderful way of expressing yourself. With all the awful technology in the world, it allows us to And, of course, the next thing I know, my cell phone goes off.

Ah, fuck, I mutter. Well, since this teacher already looks like she wants to kill me, I might as well go all the way. So I fish into my bag, take out my phone, and turn it on. Hello? You never called me back, Tessa accused. Sorry, hon, I say. Im kinda in class. I peer at the teacher. Her whole body is shaking in anger, and reminds me of a bull pawing the ground before it charges. Thatsnot good. Is it an interesting class? Tessa wanted to know. Its a shitty class, so no worries, I say loudly. I can totally talk to you now. Whats up, babe? I see the half-reverent, and half-horrified looks on the faces around me. Yup. I will have a century-long legacy by lunchtime. The teacher is stalking towards me. I dumped Carrie, Tessa told me. I swear, the girls around here are so boring. Hey, you said Annes hot? Assuming she goes that way, I hedge. The teacher is at my desk, and has this terrifying mask on her face. Hang up the phone, Montgomery. Ignore the bag, Tessa advises, obviously overhearing the imperious order. Anyway. I taught you. If you say shell be interested in me, then she will be. I mean, what girl can resist me? A straight one, I tease. MONTGOMERY! HANG UP THE PHONE! She screams, spraying me again. Thats so gross. Well, see if you can drag a bunch of your friends home, she orders me. Yeah sure. Look, I gotta go. The teachers spraying me in the face, and its really nasty. Okay? Yeah. Love you too. I hang up and glare at the teacher. Consider yourself she screams at me, going into total battle mode, when I interrupt her. What the fuck? I was ON THE PHONE! I bellow the last part. CANT YOU MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUISNESS, YOU OLD BI

Son, the security guard tells me ten minutes later. The only reason Im going to let you go is because she had that coming for the past fifty years. The look on her face was priceless. But next time Im called to haul you out the class, I WILL take you to the principles office. Okay, I say cheerfully. Hey, can I hang out with you till the periods done? Befriend the security guards at your school, people. Itll save your butt in more ways you can imagine. Sure, boy, The guard says easily. In the middle of telling the three security guards this hilarious story about one of my first dates, my cell rings. The guy whos ass you kicked this morning nice job, by the way, he still cant walk straight is in your next class. You know where he sits? Theres a moment of muffled talking, then Jared comes back on. Carls with you. He says he sits in the back, left corner. Okay. Thanks. Is every seat filled? They are? Cool. Can you make him late for class? Yeah? Cool. I hang up, and smile brilliantly. I need some thumbtacks to put up some stuff in my new room to make it all homey and shit. Uh huh, one of the guards says. Is one of us gonna have to haul your ass out of class again? No, I say indignantly. He passes me a whole box. Well, enjoy making yourmark. I did enjoy making my mark. I got to my next class early, and to my joy, the class was empty, so I cheerfully put the sharp metal objects on the chair, and chew some pieces of gum. I then put the gum over the tacks, so no one can see them. Sure enough, every seat is filled up except for that one by the time the class begins. Ten minutes into the lesson, the guy I jumped walks in. Excuse me? I was in the bathroom. Sorry, The guy said defiantly, and shot me a hatefilled glance. Ooh, look. I have an enemy. How entertaining.

Musta been painful pissing through that, A disembodied voice hissed loudly, and everyone laughed. Id grabbed and twisted pretty damn hard. Go sit down, Benjamin. the teacher snapped. Ben stalks to his chair, pulls it out. Theres gum on it! He whined. Then put a piece of paper over it, and sit on it, The teacher says tartly. And dont be late next time. He sulks for a moment, and asks a guy next to him for some loose-leaf. Carl looks at me from wheres hes sitting in the middle I chose a front seat and raises his eyebrows. I grin, and we both transfer our gazes to Ben. He puts the paper on the gum, and bad-temperedly throws himself down on the seat. A split second, he shoots back up with three times the original velocity. MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A -! Ah, sweet music to my ears. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Shes not looking Jared said in science class next period. So I jump on the table, take the stool Jared passes to me, and climb on that, as another guy gets on the table to hold me steady. The physics lab has super high ceilings; its in a separate building behind the school. I quickly draw a target on the ceiling in black permanent marker. The ceilings made of this soft linoleum-like material. Its solid, but sharp objects have no problem penetrating it. Get down! Jared hisses. I leap of the table, and sit in my seat just as the teacher walks into the room and scowls at us. Shes this woman of medium height, wild brown hair, and is fond of giving detentions. Jared claims that at least a quarter of his detentions have come from her. He didnt sound real happy about it. Whats going on? She says loudly. Everyone in the class looks at her, then at us. Nothing, I say, just as the late bell rings. She looks at the empty table in front of Jared and me.

Where are your notebooks? She demands. Five points of your next tests for being unprepared. She turns around to write notes on the board as Jared and me simultaneously flip her off behind her back, scowling. Jareds ready for this one. Along with six other guys, we quickly balance a ruler, half on and half off the edge of the table. Jared spits out his gum and sticks it on the end of the ruler, then sticks a pencil in that. Onetwothree and I hit the part of the ruler thats hanging off the table, catapulting the pencil, with the gum on the end, into the air. It lodges in the outermost circle of the target with a hissing noise. The woman glances at us. What was that? Huh? We say stupidly. She stares at us for a moment, then turns back to the board. Based on the results of the Millikan oil drop experiment, what can you say it proves? Montgomery? She says, spinning around from the board all of a sudden. Jared quickly leans his body over the next gumtopped pencil and ruler.Eran elementary charge? I guess. She blinks. Ahyes, that is correct. She turns back to the board. Readyaimfire! Jared sends the pencil up, but misses the target. I snicker, and he socks me in the arm semi-hard. Andgo! Caleb sends the pencil into the same ring I did. Quick! Thomas gets the pencil about one inch from the bulls-eye. We all stifle groans of disappointment. One, two, smack it! Remy hits in the bulls-eye, and we all whoop. Excuse me! The teacher stops writing notes on the board about particles in the nucleus and storms over to or table. Leaning over it, she says in a deadly voice, I will NOT tolerate goofing around in my class. Two hours detentions for each of In what I have to say was a pure defiance of physics, three fourths of the pencils wobble, and, as we all watch in shock, fall off, gum-covered side first. We all yelp as they land on the table, the floor and one falls right into her hair. She screams and tries to pull it out her hair, but the gums holding fast. When she realizes it, she screams louder. Ew, EW! THERES GUM IN MY HAIR!

As one, we all get up and dash out the room. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Im very disappointed in you boys. Mr. Gray says severely. Some security guards I didnt know had caught us before we could split up. In other words, theyd just happened to be walking by the classroom when me and five other guys had run out. Theyd quickly herded us into the Head Deans office.Uh everyone droned. And Mr. Montgomery, he said, targeting me. I expected better from you. Will she have to shave her head? I ask innocently. MR. MONTGOMERY! He yells as everyone snickers. Even the security guard cracks a smile, though he hides it quickly when Mr. Gray glares at him. Detention for ALL of you. He glances at me. I heard of the unforgivable rudeness you gave to Ms. Calloway. Who? Your art teacher. The one who sprays all the time? Yes, he grit out. You have, already, ten hours of detention. What? I protest indignantly. I only have two hours! Two hours for interrupting the math class. Four hours for slanderous language, use of a cell phone, and refusing to give up said phone in art. Three hours for deliberate destruction of school property and inflicting damage on a teacher. One hour for all the things I know you did but cant prove. Hey! Thats not fair! What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Evil deans, thats what. Life isnt fair, Mr. Gray said. All of you, come to my office after school. Do you have classes now? Yeah, everyone said. Be off, he said. Bye, Mr. G, I said cheerfully, leaving the office.

ELEVEN HOURS! he yells after me. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Jared and me had lied. We had lunch. Twizzlers, Jared says. You wanna steal them? I ask. Nah, Jared said loftily. Its so...old. And overused. He shrugged. I wanna do something new, but I dont know what. We were currently sitting at an overflowing lunch table, the most highly concentrated one in the whole lunchroom. Screw the Twizzlers, then. I say. Why dont we do something new? Like what? Julian asked. I remember, one of my friends once hooked up the principles phone line to the intercom, I say thoughtfully. Are you any good with wiring, Jules? Julian smiled. Of course I am. He glances at his watch. We have fifteen minutes if we run and no one interrupts us. I did something like this in my old school, he tells Jared. You are the coolest, Jared says solemnly, and Julian gets up to do the job, bringing Jared along because he wanted to see how it was done. I had no interest, so I stay behind. Theres a moment of silence, when one of the guys pipes up, So, how was it? How was what? Staying at the girls school? I smile dreamily. There are no words for that type of bliss, man. No words theres a respectful silence as I remember fond memories and the guys wish they were in my place. Which theyre not. Hah. So, what else are you going to do? Dan asks. I shrug. I have no idea. Why? Dan glances around. No one says anything, so he continues, we have a project were working on. Theres this toilet all the way on the top floor that

weve almost pried out the wall. A leakage like that would put half the school out of commission for at least a week. Every period, two guys work at it. The crowbar is hidden under the sink. Cool, I say. Never did something like that. Nor did we, everyone says at the same time. We have two guys at it now, and well gave two more next period you wanna help out? Because Elias is sick, and cant go. He usually works with me. I have English, I muse. Okay. Ill just cut it. 0o0o0o0o0o0 I stick the crowbar between the toilet and the wall, and pull with all my strength. The damn thing barely moves. But by now, the pipe seems to be breaking or something; its really rusty. Apparently some guy had stolen some acid from the science office and poured it on the pipe. Only a bit more was needed. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and let Dan take over. For a skinny guy, hes got a lot of wiry strength. He glances at me. Hey, are you at least bi?Nope. Straight through and through. Ah, well he sighs, and I cant help but grin. So, what happened between you and Jessie? I eye him. Why? He doesnt look at me, just concentrated on his work. Jessies a friend of mine. I dont want her hurt. Did you sleep with her? No, I snap. And even if I had, its not your business. He looks at me now, completely serious. Dont hurt her. What about me? Doesnt anyone care about me? Why? You have feelings for her? No!

Uh-huh. Shes hot. Im attracted. End of story, Dan. Sounds like the beginning, actually. When he sees Im about to deny that totally ridiculous charge, he shakes his head and holds up a hand. If you really like her, good for you. If not, your loss. Your turn. He hands me the crowbar, and I leverage at the toilet bad-temperedly. Theres a small creaking noise, and a small thin stream of water shoots up like five feet, making both of us jump. Oh, my God! Dan crows in triumph, and both of us pulls hard as we can and the pipe gives way as half the toilet breaks off and lands on the floor. A huge gush of water shoots up and hits the ceiling, the settle at around three feet, a steady fountain of water that will flood out the bathroom in about five seconds. Dan and I lock eyes, and as one, rush out the door. 0o0o0o0o0o0 We all heard over the intercom, the call the principle placed to the plumber from his personal phone line. And, right after that, the phone call he had on a sex line until halfway through, some teacher had obviously informed him that everything he said was being broadcasted. Id snuck into English half an hour later, but the teacher hadnt even noticed. When security came around to ask the teachers who had cut or had missed class earlier, he looked vaguely around the room, said that everyone was present, and returned to reading passages of Othello out loud. Apparently, Benjamin had been cutting classes. He was blamed for the toilet incident. Which was cool, because all the students knew it had been us. You know? This school isnt half as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, I still cant wait to get back to my own room, but Gym was next period, but because the water had been turned off, there were no showers, so no gym. All the guys that had been changing into gym clothes groaned. Jared and me took advantage of the confusion on toss a stink bomb into the locker room. Unfortunately, the gym teacher caught us (aka someone tattled). We didnt even go to the Head Dean, we went straight to the principle. I finally saw him. I mean, Id heard him raving like a lunatic when Id come here to beat the living daylights out of Michael, but that was it. Actually, Im surprised. He looks like an okay guy. Hes this short fat dude who looks like

he can barely haul himself out the chair. He glares at us. A stink bomb. Im not surprised to see you, Mr. Michaels. Mr. Montgomery, Id heard better about you. Why are you acting so atrociously? Cultural shock, I inform him. Jared snorts with laughter. You find that amusing, Mr. Michaels? Hell, yeah. Do you find more detention amusing, too? Bring it on, you fat tub of lard, Jared mutters, slumping in his seat. I sigh. Mr. Montgomery, I hope this stint of bad behavior will stop. I have called Ms. Healthgot and informed her of everything youve done. Really? I say with great interest. Line two, he says and hands me the phone. Wow. Talk about being thrown a curve ball. Um I heard this thing over the intercom earlier I say. Is this gonna be a private line? Not that Im going to try to get my rocks off or anything, but still... His face flushes purple. I swear. Like grape juice or something. Its been fixed. Did you have anything to do with that? I decide not to answer the question, and pick up the phone. Hey, Ms. Healthgot, I say cheerfully. Rafael Montgomery, what on Earth are you doing? Thumbtacks, cursing, rudeness, and you probably had something to do with that awful flood. Im ashamed of you, Rafael. I feel a bit of my bravado crumble. She sounds an awful lot like my mum. Awcome on, I cajole. This place here is crap. Its a withdrawal symptom. Somehow, I dont like you implying that my girls are drugs. Jared leans over and says loudly, He said it was cultural shock a few minutes ago. Shut up, I say, annoyed. Not you, Mrs. Healthgot. The idiot next to me. Well I say, eyeing the principle, I mean the younger one.

Well, Ive come up with a solution you should find more benefiting than this one. Next week, you can return to the girls school. You might as well finish up here. You could get fired. I know. Then why couldnt you have done that from the very beginning? Consider the boys school a long cold shower. I could literally feel my cheeks heat up. This s so damn embarrassingYou didnt have to say that I say in total mortification. Then I sit up straight. Heydo I get my old room back? And my old roommate, please Yes, you do. I whoop. You are the bomb, Mrs. Healthgot. Have a very nice day, and give my love to everyone. Do you want me to make an intercom announcement of that? Sure! Too bad. Off with you, and, please Rafael, at least be nice for the rest of today. For me? Because, you know, otherwise I may have to move you to a new room. I scowl. Thats what you call a bit of blackmail, ladies and gentlemen. Ah fine. What the fu - er, heck. See you around, Mrs. Healthgot. And I hang up the phone. The principles eyeing me. Ill be on my best behavior for the rest of the day, I promise. What about the rest of the time youre But Im already out the door. Hell no am I making a promise like that. And you know what? I was on my best behavior. Only shoved Benjamin into the lockers once when he tried to sneak past me in the hallway. And then I hung out in Jareds room for the rest of the day, swapping stories and stuff. The next day like, you know, as in, one minute after midnight - I got out of bed, fully dressed, and, without waking up a snoring Brad (who Id totally left alone tonight), snuck out the window and scaled my way down the wall into the crisp, cool night.

Ah. Freedom. And Jessie. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Its a great wall for climbing, actually. The mortar is crumbling slightly in between the bricks, so I can easily get a grip. I guess the girls schools building was built before the guys schools building. I gaze up at my rooms window, smile, and start to climb. I went slow but steady, and after half a minute, I was comfortably seated in the window ledge. The light was off, but, as I peer through the window, the bathroom door was open and light spilled from it. With a grunt, I slide the window open, almost losing my balance at one point. When its open enough (I honestly think she greases the thing, because after a moment it slid open pretty smooth) and I roll inside, landing, crouched, inside the room. Thinking of yesterday Thinking of you Time goes so slowly If only you knew Stranded in Paradise Lost without you Hah. Haha. Hahaha. Shes in the SHOWER! I couldnt have had better timing even if Id planned it. I glance around the room. Her side is pretty organized, and theres still a lot of crap around my bed, but it looks like she tried to shove all of it out of sight under my bed. She also took my pillow. I stride into the bathroom, the steam and fresh smell of shampoo swamping my senses. Shes still singing, but she didnt notice me walking in. Well, it would have been hard for her to SEE me because she IS behind the shower curtain, but I would have thought she would have sensed me. I have that kind of presence But, since it didnt work, I sit down on the laundry basket thats next to the bathtub in the bathroom, and lean against the wall. I clear my throat, but shes too busy singing to notice. I just HAPPEN to glance into the shower; I can see the water beating down, but shes towards the front of the bath, and I cant see shit. Then, she moves back or something because I can see I can see CRAP! She just moved away! But HOLY SHIT. I saw a nice little view. I smirk as I review that.

There had been something on her hip Her tattoo. (Drool). I try in vain to recall it, but I cant remember what it was. And Im really curious, too. So I kind of peek into the shower, but shes totally out of my line of sight. Then, she moves again, not much, but the very edge of her hip is visible, and sure enough, theres a small tattoo of of I dont know what happened. I really dont. Maybe the hamper moved. Maybe I was leaning over too much. Maybe it was a combination of both. But whatever it was, I well, kinda lost my balance and fell head first with a shocked yelp Right into the bathtub behind her. Oops.Hey, Marie and I got in a fight. I got kicked off the team, got written up on my transcript, and I have a bite mark on my side. Its really gross. Marie still has a black eye. And Im sure thats not the only bruise. I have a good swing, if I do say so myself The other outcome of that meeting? Marie declares that Rafael and I are sleeping together. Please. We dont do ANYTHING in that room. I mean, out of it is a different story, but hey, were not talking about that, now are we? And even if we WERE, Im still a virgin, thank you very much. Though looking over the past weeks, I have to admitah, lets not get into that. Quite frankly, Im glad Rafaels gone. Because I felt like things were just too much. Thats another reason I dont date guys as intense as he is; I like slow relationships where I know exactly where they stand. But on the other hand, a weird part of me kinda misses him. Like, hes annoying as hell, but the kid is jus so damn entertaining, and when he fixes his eyes on yours and smiles, it makes me feel so content. Happy. Whatever. I dunno. But since he isnt in this school, I mean that means I can ask him out, maybe. Separate schools would make it a lot easier. The only thing Im worried about is if people will think that because were suddenly going out that what Marie said was true.

Unless Rafael turns me down Well, well see. Because technically Im still supposed to be pissed at him, even if it wasnt totally his fault that time it had been mine, and I didnt get in trouble on that count at all. He got the full brunt of it. Ill tell him that later now Im taking advantage of a boy-free room and Im going to take a long, hot shower thats going to be interruption free. Finally. Jessie 0o0o0o0o0 A dragon? I say with a foolish grin, staring up at the frozen girl, whod whipped the curtains around herself before I could really see anything (more), but seemed incapable of any more action beyond that. Jessie, thats so sexy. She draws in a breath deep enough that warned me if she let it out, the result would be a scream loud enough to bring down the ceiling. In other words, not good. Shhh! I hiss frantically, scrambling awkward to my feet and clamping a hand over her mouth, in the process fully standing under the shower spray. I choke on a mouthful of water before I finally angle my head out the way. Someone will hear you! I get out. Mg dfkje dijrns eoihrje doirje! she snarled. Look, I didnt mean to fall in, I defend myself. I mean, not that Im complaining, but uhg! shed punched me in the stomach, without pulling it the slightest. Six pack or not, I reeled back, clutching the spot. OhSHIT that hurts no wonder Marie had worn such a stupefied expression on her face. She leaped out the shower, grabbing a towel and running into the next room and, like she had the last time Id caught her in a similar situation, she dove for the bed and pulled the covers around her tightly. (Yep, she landed in my bed again.) You sick pervert! She wailed. Im going to kill you the second I get my clothes on! I followed her out the bathroom, still holding my stomach. I was drenched from head to foot, shed declared death on me again, but that was beside the point. There was only one thing I wanted to know. Can I see that tattoo again?

Arg! She screamed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at me. I cant stand you! Sure, I drawl, catching the pillow and throwing it back, hitting her in the face. Before I might have been worried about that being true, but the fact she hadnt actually killed me yet boded well. You could have gotten me expelled, she retorted. I could get you arrested. Sure. I dont want to talk to you, she fumed. Sure. I didnt miss you at all. Suuure I didnt! I shrug. Well, I missed you. Whatever denial she was about to say dies as that little comment took the wind out of her sails. I continue quickly before her vocal cords started working again. Dont get me wrong; Ive had a blast at the other school. I cursed out a teacher, played darts with pencils, broke a pipe, beat up an asshole named Benjamin Theres a small flare of recognition in her eyes, and she smothers a satisfied smile. I gave I stop. Maybe I shouldnt mention the whole swirly thing with Brad. She seems to be on okay terms with him. I put thumbtacks on Bens seat, too. Sounds like fun, she commented dryly. Yeah, it was. But Id rather be with you. She raises an eyebrow. Was that supposed to be romantic or something? Umno, not really. She suddenly smiles. Anne and Maries roommate put itching powder on the toilet paper in Maries bathroom. Halfway through her third period class, she was hunched over so bad someone had to carry her to the nurses office.

My hands instinctively cup myself protectively. You girlsahdo that a lot? She laughs. No, Montgomery, Im not going to do that to you. I drop my hands in relief. You dont blame me about the fact we kinda got caught? She shakes her head. I mean, if it were anyones fault, it would be mine. Because, I mean the only time she could have possibly seen us was after the game, and I started that one anyway. An excellent deduction, and one totally in my favor. Also, she continues, I should have known that the whole thing was irresponsible and rash, and quite frankly, something might have happened that shouldnt have. Like what? Sex? Yeah. That should definitely not happen because because um ah hmmm... For someone who hates being rash, I point out wickedly, You sure show barely any concern over the fact that youre naked under that blanket. She smirks, grabs onto handful of PJs she has near her bed, and looks ready to slip into the bathroom. I dont stop blocking her. Nope. Remember? No fooling around her voice trails off, and she blinks in surprise. Ah. That dumb deal shed stuck up because becauseHey, Jessie, I observe casually. That doesnt apply anymore. Were not sharing a room. Oh, dear She sighs morosely. Yup. Aw, come on, Raffie I scowl at her, distracted. What did I tell you about calling me Raffie, Jessica? But its so damn CUTE. Do I LOOK like a Raffie to you? I snap. When she nods, I feel my eyebrows snap together in total annoyance. How the hell do I look cute? Like, hotcute, I know, but sweet-cute? Gag me. Youre kinda sweet, Jessie demures. I mean, youre a real jerk sometimes, but she laughs that deep laugh of hers when she sees how annoyed I am.

Aw, come on. Suddenly, her gaze shoots past me, and her mouth drops open in shock. Ms Healthgot? She gasps. I spin around. Oh, fuck! I can explain I trail off when I realize that the door is still innocently closed, no sign of an adult in sight. Behind me, Jessie makes a break for the bathroom, trailing the blanket after her. Damn it. She really scared me for a moment. I guess if I really, really tried I coulda caught her, but she IS really, really fast. So I guess Im not seeing that tattoo again any time soon Bored, I sit on the edge of her bed and riffle through stuff she has on neat piles on the floor. I feel my eyes widen in horror as page after page of neat homework comes up. And then a report that looks like its fifteen pages long is in a pile of History homeworks, titled, Extra Credit: Women Behind The Crown. Oh, please. We men just pretend to let women use us. I mean, if you actually DID control us, well, were still the dominant sex, right? Damn skippy. When Jessie pops out again half a minute later wearing a pair of PJs with kittens on them, Im busy scanning through the paper, grinning. What are you doing in my stuff? She demands. Why are you still here? Go away. I ignore the last part. She doesnt mean it. Jessie, you cant believe this stuff. You really think that women are superior to men? Umyeah She draws out the answer slowly, as if the answer is obvious. Then her eyes narrow. Youre not one of those chauvinistic pigs that thinks that guys are superior to girls, right? Like Im going to say yes when shes speaking in that tone. In fact, I think Im going to change the topic right now. I glance around the room for a lifeline, and my eyes fall on a midnight blue jersey. Jessie, isnt that I point. She flushes. Yeah. Its my volleyball jersey. Her face drops a bit. I I bought it from the school. I didnt want to hand it in. Im not going to wear it around or anything, but its good nightwear. Its long enough to wear as a nightgown. Hey, I say softly, knowing getting kicked off the team was and would be a sore spot for a while. Their loss. But at the same time, I really wouldnt mind seeing her in that jersey. Because I know for a fact that that thing just barely skims down to her thighs. Because shes standing right in front of me,

I can easily reach her shoulders. I slide my hands down her sides to her hips with the intention of pulling her towards me, but she flinches as I brush against a spot on her side. Jeez, not MORE bruises! Please tell me you bumped into a table, I groan. Her reply is indignant. You make it sound like Im accident-prone. I let that hang in the air for a moment before I make an upward motion with my hand. She looks like shes going to ignore it until she gives a heady sigh and pulls up her top a bit, showing a nice expanse of bare skin and a bite mark thats still black, blue, purple, and tinged green. I feel my face tighten. Marie, she supplies me helpfully. When she first jumped me in the locker room, she got this one in before I kneed her in the boob. I snicker, remembering that fight, then stop when I remember the consequences. Any more bruises? I remember shed had scratches on her face. Standing up, I tilt her head towards the bathroom light; theres a couple of faint pale lines still, but otherwise shes fine. You hurt your leg, didnt you? She looks faintly surprised that Id remembered and/or noticed in the first place. Of course I had. Hit it against a bench. Its bruised, but thats all. No, you cant see it. Its too high up, and youve seen more than enough, her eyes narrow as she obviously contemplates the truth to that. Ah, well. I tried. I brush my fingers near the bite again, hoping to distract her before she realizes she really didnt get me that bad for seeing her wearing her skin and a lot of water droplets, only. Hey, did you get your shots recently? I can hear the smile in her voice when she answers, Yeah. Im fine. Well, I say doubtfully, I would give it a kiss to make it feel better, but I dont want to get rabies. She laughs. Theres a lot more places you can kiss where you wont get rabies. True 0o0o0o0o0

Hey, Montgomery? She whispers a bit later. Mmm? Were cuddling on her bed, facing each other. Her head is on my chest, one arm flung over her head and the other one slung around my waist. Ive got one arm across her back, and another one on her extremely lower back, shall we say?, my thumb absently tracing little circles over where I know her tattoo is. Well, where I think it was. She still wont let me see it again. But shes not angry with me. Jessie Davidson doesnt dislike me anymore! At all! How long did that take? A month and a half? Ouch. Are you going to be staying at the guys school? Jessie asks me. Nope. Ill be coming back. I feel a smug smile settle over my face. She sits up, and stares down at me, her hair still wet and curling as it dried. Youre kidding, right? She utters in total disbelief. Why cant they just keep you there? I mean, you really should be there, and they have room, now. She looksdisappointed. I try not to let that anger me. But it still hurts. Just a bit. Yeah. And Ill be staying in this room again, I say, tauntingly, seeing if Ill get a rise out of her. Instead, a look of understanding comes over her face. Well, you do kinda have all your classes here, Jessie mutters thoughtfully, almost to herself, and after that evaded the topic completely by pointing out that it was one-thirty in the morning and Id better get back. Cant I say here? No. I scowl. Why am I even arguing? Im twice as strong as you and I gulp when she makes a fist. Okay. Jeez. Im going. And you wonder why I think men are the weaker sex? she mutters when Im halfway out the window. Going down is a lot harder than going up, so I wait till Im all the way down before glaring back up to her silhouette framed by the bathroom light. We are not. Ill prove it. Tomorrow midnight, your room, pillow fight. Youre going to lose she sings in a taunting voice.

Say that to my face! I challenge softly so I dont wake anyone up. To my total shock, she took that literally, and shimmied down the wall a lot faster than I did. Hey, shes got more practice. Ill catch up soon. I said, she grinned, only two feet away from me, that youre, another step closer, going to lose. Uh-huh. Dream on. Payback, she continues, for being a pervert. I pout a bit. So much for hoping shes forgotten about that. Are you still annoyed? Jeez. I mean, I only saw her for a split second before my head connected with the way-to-solid bathtub. Im sorry about that. I said it really sincerely, so it would sound like I was sorry about seeing her for that all-to-brief moment, not that I was sorry that I was busted so quickly. She heaves a sigh. You know what? I hate to admit it, but the idea of Ben sitting on multiple thumbtacks seems to make up for the Peeping Tom you just pulled. Wow! Shed forgiven me! That felt too easy Sure enough, her head tilted. Well wait a moment. And she kneed me right THERE too fast for me to defend myself. My breath whooshes out of my lungs as pain exploded, and I gasp as I feel my knees hit the grass. My eyes were open, but I cant see anything. After a minute or two, my vision clears of any black dots dancing the Tango in front of my eyes. Jessie pokes me unsympathetically in the shoulder. Okay, Rafael. Youre totally forgiven now. I should get to take a shower with you for that, I decide the second my lungs start working properly. I glare up at her from my hunched over position. She has a little self-satisfied smirk on her face, like she did something worthy of a pat on the back. Which she didnt. That particular move is NOT COOL, people. Do I at least get a kiss to make it feel better? She shakes her head, and bends down to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. So I guess Ill see you tomorrow. And if you get caught, I refuse to take any of the blame. With that, she flew back up the wall, leaving me still kneeling in the damp grass, staring after her with my mouth open, realizing something a bit disturbing:

Its a sad day when a guy realizes how awesome a girl is because she hit him where it hurts the most. 0o0o0o0o0 I wanted to be on my best behavior to avoid any extra days in this hellhole (the teachers werent all that pleasant to me today. Hmmm.). Thus, I didnt do anything at all. Arent you proud of me? Well, okay. Maybe I did find where Id stuck the rest of the thumbtacks and I had fun putting them on the chair of that art teacher, Ms. Something-orother. She didnt yell, but her mouth tightened and she got up pretty fast. When she saw the thumbtack, she called the same security guard she had the last time. He sighed when he saw the thumbtack. Oops. Kinda forgot hed given it to me. But, as I pointed out, she couldnt prove Id done it. Oh, how I love the whole innocent until proven guilty thing I also stole the chalk from the science teacher (yep, and she had a special new hair cut along with a special new glare for our table). Which doesnt sound like much, but they tend to panic when they have to write something on the board and they cant find something to write it with. So, after sending three boys in succession to find new chalk (none returned from the opportunity to cut the rest of class), and she decided it would be too dangerous to leave us alone in the room and instead dictated the notes to us. Of course, the fact that I asked her to repeat every other sentence slowed down the pace a tiny bit. Jared asking her to spell stuff (Wait, how do you spell electron?) also seemed to put her back up a bit. Oh, and the minor incidence when I saw Ben and some of his friends trying to slide down a stairwell railing. Dan had some Vaseline on him from some prank hed done earlier (gotta love coincidences, people), so I put a big goop on my hand and dragged it down the hand railing. Ben waited impatiently for me to move out the way, then jumped on. He was the first person I saw in the whole group to make it go down all the way, and shot off to go flying into the wall, too. Thud! (I think his pants were ruined.) Do you have to go? Jared says a bit wistfully at dinner. You might have to do just as much detention as I have to do, and itll be lonely. Yeah. I swear I didnt do anything, but somehow I got an additional five hours on top of yesterday AND extra hours because I didnt go to detention

at all yet. I dont plan to, either, so I see why Jared thought Id be handy company for at least half of the hours hes gotta make up. Jared, I say, looking him dead in the eye. If you had a chance to go to the girls school, what would you say to your friends if they asked you to stay? It takes him a split second. Sorry, guys, he says apologetically. No prob, Remy answers for everyone (hes the guy that made the bulls eye in science class, remember?). I would go, too. Me, three Caleb says. Ew, Dan gasps in horror. Why would you want to go there? I would stay here. He shoots a sly look in Carls direction. Everyone rolls his eyes. Carl just scowls. Did I mention the two are in the same room? 0o0o0o0o0 Heya, I guess I have to take showers during my free periods again. Because any time after that, Rafael seems to be liable to come sneaking through the window. Damn it, he was looking into the shower! How perverted is that? And he saw my tattoo. When Id gotten that was one of the rare times I got completely piss-faced. It had been a year or so ago during the summer, and Eva and I had been celebrating something. Dunno what. Anyway, we started at this nice club and ended at the tattoo shop next door. I couldnt sit properly for days. I got this great, detailed coiled dragon on mythigh, lets say, and Eva got a little fairy in a similar place. Stupid thing cost a hundred and fifty (which Id charged on my moms credit card anyway, she never found out), and still hasnt done me an ounce of good. Concerning the exchange student thing, the school had some issues, and they couldnt let any of its students come over here. Theyre debating whether they want to still accept students from here. I really hope I get it. It would be really cool. Jessie

0o0o0o0o0 You heard WHAT? I half yelled. I was bored in my room, thinking about bothering Jared or something about seeing a new movie that had just come out, and had just decided to call Jessie when Dan had come in. Dan raises his hands in a placating manner. All I heard was Mr. Gray saying there was no need for you to go back because your attitude seems to be improving. Its the second day, I whine. How does he know? Maybe I was just in a good mood today. Or maybe, Ms. Healthgot was lying about you getting back because she wanted you to be nice so this school would keep you. And if not? I point out. Well he says thoughtfully, Then you gotta do stuff, but not get caught at all, no matter what. Drive the school crazy until they want to suspend or expel you, but they cant because they have no proof. Then, theyll do anything they can to get rid of you. Yeah, right. Hey, its worth a try, Dan sung cheerfully, then pulled out a bottle of Milk of Magnesia. My boyfriend just sent this to me! A whole new supply of prank stuff! Itching powder, firecrackers, fake blood, fake mice, and a whole lot more. And, were having French fries tonight, so I was thinking we can put this in some of the ketchups. Not a lot, just enough to, you know, make certain people miserable. He cocks his head at me. Whatcha say? You have a boyfriend? He rolls his eyes. Yeah, I do. Oh. I thoughtyou and Carl He throws his head back and gives a surprisingly infectious laugh. Jesus, no. That kids as straight as a laser beam. Hes just fun to flirt with. I mean, dont you flirt with a whole bunch of girls for the fun of it? I look at him blankly. Actually, Ive been nice, of course but have I actually seriously flirted with any of them? Holy crap. What is wrong with me?

You Dan says in disbelief, then shakes his head in exasperation. And he says its nothing, he mutters to himself. What is wrong with people these days? Its sad. And with that, he ambles out the room, leaving the bottle on the table, still chatting away to himself. Weird kid. 0o0o0o0o0 Putting the laxative into the ketchup bottles already set up on the table in the dining area didnt elevate my mood, even though I managed to do the job without being detected. I hate being sulky, so I call Jessie. She doesnt pick up her phone. Great. So I drag myself to Jareds room and open the door, walk in, and throw myself facedown on the bed. Im bored. Montgomery, Jared growls dangerously. Do you mind? Im busy. I glance at the other bed, and grin. Hi, Eva. Howre you doing? Her face is bright red as she sits up, pulling out of Jareds arms and tugs discretely at her disheveled shirt. Um. Hi, Rafael. How are you? Who CARES? (Jared.) Im cool. I miss everyone though, I say, ignoring Jareds annoyed yell. You seem to be quite happy Well, she WAS, till YOU came in (Jared again.) So hows everyone else? Eva bites her lip in thought. Jared looks at the motion, then glares at me. I smirk. Well, Eva said thoughtfully. Annes okay, Jessies well, I dont know. She decided to do some extra credit thing, so shes been holed up in her room. Shes probably fine. The volleyball team is really depressed, but I think we can pull through. Im the captain now, but its just not the same, you know? Okay, Montgomery heard enough, Jared decides, and points at me. You. Out. But OUT!

Okay. Jeez. Im going, and I saunter out taking my own sweet time, singing in a really off-key voice: Lonely, Im Mr. Lonely I have nobody To call my own! Shut the damn door, Jared yells after me, so obligingly I close it after me, but not before sticking my head back into the room to say in a patronizing voice, Dont forget, children, safe sex is good sex! I close the door a split second before something heavy crashes into where my head had been a second ago. See? Its a good thing I got Jessie off of Jared. They woulda killed each other within two minutes of the first date. 0o0o0o0o0 All during dinner, Jared was torn between betting which person would rush out the room to the bathroom first, and glaring at me. Id also jammed the doors to all the bathrooms nearby, so that whoever really needed them would have to run a bit farther than he thought. Sound mean? Ah, well. I only put it at certain tables that had people I either didnt like, or yeah, that was it. Actually, there were quite a few people, mainly just the normal wannabe assholes who were jealous of me, Jared, or anyone else at our table. You ruined the mood, Jared finally said. I got that song stuck in my head after you left, and Eva got totally distracted. Doesnt say much about your skills, then, does it? I duck the spoonful of peas he flicks at me, and laugh when they go flying into a knot of guys sitting behind us trying to do homework. Well, you dont seem to be getting anywhere with Jessie, he bitches back. I raise an eyebrow. Oh, yeah? Theres a moment of dead silence. Then, What the fuck are you doing with her? Jared snaps into defense-of-female-friend mode. Look, Montgomery, you better not mess her up. Shes got enough shit to take care of, and she

doesnt need more. Look at what happened the last time you got involved with her! Damn it, Eva, you just had to tell Jared, didnt you? A guy sitting nearby looks straight at us. You mean what Marie said wasnt a lie? Yo, Adam, he shouts across the room. Montgomery DID sleep with Davison! You owe me ten bucks! I didnt I start to say, panicking, but it was too late. All I could do was sit in horrified shock as, within the next seventeen seconds, every guy in the cafeteria decided that I had. And then, as I look across the room, my eyes connect with Brad, where he sits with his loser friends (yeah, theres something special in that tables ketchup) and he pulls out his cell phone, smiling a cool little smile right at me. Oh, no. Hes so going to call Jessie. I lunge out my seat, but Carl grabs my arm and wrestles me back down, obviously not realizing that I wanted to beat someone up for a GOOD reason. No! I yell. Hes going to call But even as Carl let go of me, I knew it was too late. Brad was speaking quietly into the phone, way too far away for me to get to him in time. So I do the next best thing I can do; I stand up, and say in the sudden hush, If this gets around, everyones going to have hell to pay. Not that it would do much. Because the next thing I know, my cell phone rings. I sit my butt back down and pull it out warily. Incoming Call from Jessie Cell. Ah, shit. I lay it in the center of the table, and we all stare at it. Should I pick up? I wonder out loud. Think of it like those Howlers from the Harry Potter books, Dan theorizes. If you dont pick up, itll explode. Cell phones dont explode, idiot, Caleb mutters. That was a metaphor. Dan defends himself indignantly. I reluctantly press the talk button, and I dont even have to put it on speakerphone, because Jessies voice flows through loud, clear, and furious.

Have anything you want to tell me? She doesnt even give me a chance to answer her. Guess what, asshole? Just because YOU cant get a girl into bed DOESNT mean you go around telling people we slept together! I never Oooh! She fumes. You just wait till I get my hands on you, Montgomery. Youll be singing fucking soprano for the next three years! But I I heave a sigh as with a click she hangs up on me. Great. Just great. You I point at Jared. Watch what youre eating the next couple of days. What? Gonna do something? He challenges. I wont have to, I shoot back. Because Jessies going to call Eva. And then Eva will find out that you spilled something you were supposed to keep quiet. Crap. Waitso DID you sleep with her? Dan asks, totally confused. No, I snap. I didnt. Are you going to? Remy asks. Christ! I bark. You think shell let me within three feet of her now? We all know the answer is no. And even when half the school starts to trickle out, then faster and faster, clutching their stomachs and yelling when they realize they have to go to the other floors to find working bathrooms, the mood at the table is still gloomy. I cant visit her tonight after this. 0o0o0o0o0 Im not even going to start out nice. Because Brad just called me and told me that Rafael was boasting that hed had sex with me. That. Fucking. ASSHOLE. I called him and yelled at him. And later I called another friend, and hed confirmed that Rafael, had indeed, said that. It really doesnt sound like him, now that I think about it. I mean well, why would a guy like him have to make up stories? But thats besides the point; two people pretty much told me the same damn story. Im so pissed.

Who am I kidding? Okay, yeah, Im angry, but seriously? Im hurt. Really, really hurt he would do that. And Id rather be angry than hurt, because that means I care what he says about me, that I care what he thinks about me. If he treats me like just another girl I dont want that. I mean, he seemed sincere. But hes a player. No way around it. And I feel, ironically, played. It would take outrageous nerve for him to come over tonight. So at least I dont have to worry about seeing him soon, right? Who am I kidding? Hell come over. JessieI quietly scale up to her window. Yeah, I know. Im asking for it. But, damn it, shes refusing to talk to me (again), and I really, really need to convince her that I didnt say that behind her back. Does she really think that Im the type of guy that would do that? I mean, I dont have to. If I wanted action, I would be able to find it in three seconds flat. Doesnt she realize that since I didnt, then that means I really do like her? The window slides open, but the room is pitch black. I peer in, but I cant see anything. Crap. The second I go in shes probably going to throw The Mists of Avalon at me. Its a paperback, but still, the size of that thing is fatal. Drawing in a deep breath, I slip in and freeze, straining my ears for a single sound. Nothing. Bad sign. As my eyes adjust to the dark, I look at the shadowy shapes in the room. But theres nothing. Which can only mean one thing. I havent even turned halfway around when something jumps on me from behind, toppling me over onto the ground. I try to get back up, but she sits on my back. And you have the nerve to still show up? I cant believe it. Well, I grunt (shes heavy), Obviously, if you didnt believe it, you wouldnt have been waiting for me. Reluctantly, she shifts off of me, letting me get up. I face her, and she looks reallysad, and theres a pause while I stare at her and she stares at everything but me. Why? she whispers finally, sounding incredibly hurt. Why would you say something like that? I didnt, I sigh wearily. A couple of friends and me were just playing around and some ass - who should go into hiding for the next two weeks, misunderstood and shouted out some shit.

You were talking about me? No! Well, I was just teasing Jared about Eva, and then he made a crack about you and me, and then I trail off. She still looks disbelieving, but her face has softened slightly. She believes me. Jared knows? Um, suspects. I lie a bit. She sighs and turns away. Rafael, this just keeps getting worse. Where and when did the guy shout out that? I mumble something incoherently under my breath. What? (mumble mumble) Montgomery! Dinner hall, I get out as fast as I can. Her eyes widen when she realizes that the whole school must have heard it, and her face falls. I swallow. I really hadnt wanted her to know that, er, minor detail right there. I draw her against me. Not much I can say about that. Crap. Do you realize how much work Im going to have to do to keep the rumors low? And when it hits the girls school Jessie, youre going to have to spread some counter rumors around here. Just in case it spills over. Great, she grumbles. Im worth the trouble, I grin cheekily, hoping to raise the mood. The grin vanishes when Jessie moves, and the next thing I know, Ive got a mouthful of pillow. I grab the pillow and wrestle it from her, but shes already got another one and shes dancing back, grinning. Zero to one, Montgomery. Cheater! I protest in mock-outrage, but I cant keep the grin off my face no matter how hard I try. Mmm. She swings out again, and I duck it. She tries again, and I easily sidestep it, grinning. Wow, Jessie, youre such a girl. Cmon. Im not moving that fast. I duck another swing, laughing. The only reason she got me the first time was because, as I said, she totally cheated. But my sister used to chase me around

the house with a pillow lots of times (like after I read her diary, threw eggs at her boyfriend when he would come up the driveway for the first date, stuff like that) so I got real good at ducking things. She finally throws the pillow, and it hits me in the shoulder. Hah! she crows, trying to keep her voice down. The walls are thick, but theres no need to test them. Got you! Take that! I let you hit me, I lie. I hadnt ducked far enough, actually. She sneers. Uh huh. Sure. Why? Because I advance on her slowly. You dont have a pillow now. She blinks. Then, she lunges for my pillow, and I pull it away. So she tickles me. Okay. Look. I hate to admit it, but Im a TINY bit ticklish. A bit ticklish. Pretty ticklish. Okay, damn it. Im rendered totally helpless. Happy? Jeez. Jessie certainly liked it, because even when I was gasping for breath, she wouldnt stop. So I gather whatever strength I have left and grab at her, pinning her arms to her side. S-s-stop I get out. Please! She gasps. Did you just say please? Kiss my ass. I try to tickle her, but shes not ticklish. Thats so not fair. Nice try, Mont Hey! Im not ticklish! Stop trying to feel me up! Okay, okay. Jeez. Calm down. I flop over on her bed. Can I stay over tonight? Brad snores. Its really annoying. You snore, she points out. No, I dont. How would you know? Youre asleep. No, you cant stay over. Because no ones ever told me I snore, I point out, and then shake my head. Thats irrelevant. Come on its not like we have to share a bed, anyway.

You have class tomorrow. So Ill get up at like five, run over there. She pulls a horrified face. Oh, God. I hate morning people. Me being the exception, of course, I smile real winningly, and she gives in. I can tell; her face softened, and she gives a little shrug. Thanks, Jessie. I really miss this room. And its really late. I get off her bed, meander over to mine (yes, its still mine), slid under the neatly folded blankets, and sigh. Ah, yes. Home sweet home again. Jessie clambers into bed after picking our pillows off the floor and throwing mine at me with unnecessary force. Ill get her back for that at some point. Hey, Montgomery, she yawns a minute later. Yeah? My question of the day is, do you have a tattoo? I smile in the darkness. Nope. But I can always get one. No answer. Shes fallen asleep. Which is my opportunity to sneak into the bed next to her and cuddle. Its kind of funny; Im not really a cuddler, ever. But something about a drowsy Jessie is just too much to resist. Her whole face is just so relaxed, and her hair is usually falling about, and I yawn, too. Its really comfortable, and the room is so darkand she smells real nice, too Next stop, La-La Land. 0o0o0o0o0 Oh, shit. Shes a cuddler. Its five in the morning, and she doesnt have to wake up for another hour. Non-morning people tend to dislike waking up even a minute earlier than they absolutely have to, so I really dont want to accidentally jar her awake. However, at some point when we were both sleeping, shed shifted till she was half on top of me, an arm around my waist, head nestled between my neck and shoulder, and a leg curled over mine. Which is really nice and all, but Im STUCK.

I try to ease out from under her, but she gives a little sigh, fanning her breath over my neck, and cuddles closer. Which now makes it even harder to get away. So either I can wake her up, and get kicked around the room for being a pervert (Im really not a pervert, dunno where she gets that from) or just get up and hope shes a heavy sleeper. I take a deep breath, and wiggle my way out from under her. She shifts a bit, but her breathing stays slow and deep. I glance down at her, and she has a small frown on her face. I cant help it; I bend over and kiss her right on her furrowed brow. The frown disappears. Isnt she cute? After a moment, I force myself to look away, and check outside to make sure that no ones looking. I guess I could sneak through the hallways, but there are often a few people up and about at that time. Im halfway out the window, when I change my mind, and, grabbing a scrap piece of paper, I quickly scribble a note and slip the piece of paper in the bathroom on top of her toothpaste. Since Im running out of excuses to stay and time I slip out the window and scale down the wall really quickly. And now for the walk to the guys school, which Im sure I can get to in fifteen minutes if I jog. 0o0o0o0o0 Hola! Reread my last diary entry. Hah. Privacy is impossible now. I could put a lock on the window or something, but hed probably pick the lock. HE seems like the type. I guess I cant wear my jersey now. Damn it. Its real comfortable. Andguess what! I GOT IT! YES!! IM GOING TO SPAIN! I am so freaking excited. How cool is that, getting to study in Spain for likeI forget, two and a half months, is it? Im going with four other seniors, no one Im super close with, but Im friendly with them. Celebrating with a sleepover in my room with Anne and Eva, so Rafael cant come over tonight. Ill call him, text him, and stick a note on the window if (or when) he ignores the first two warnings. No one knows about these night visits, and Id rather that no one did. I need to come up with that damn counter rumor. So Ill risk it and say that some guy got pissed at Rafael, and talked shit about me. Or Ill ask Eva for help. Shes really good in the whole revenge area.

Jessie Ps. He left me a random note this morning. Hed written: roses are red, violets are blue, I swear I dont snore, and neither do you. How totally stupid and completely adorable is that? 0o0o0o0o0 Where were you? Brad demands the second he wakes up enough to register me brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Im surprised he has the nerve to talk to me. I mean, I was so worried last night that all I did was shove him into the wall and curse him out a bit last night before I snuck out. Id been hoping that Brad woulda pushed back so I had an excuse to really give it to him, but hed stayed quiet. We both knew the damage had been done. My cheery response after I spit out a mouthful of mint foam: Who died and named you king? Fuck off, shitface. He glares at me. You snuck out at night, didnt you? I went, I spell out in a cold, clipped voice, for a jog. Try it sometimes. Itll do wonders for that stick frame of yours. I promise. You didnt go out for a jog, Brad counters, after a slight pause as he takes in the semi-subtle insult I gave him. Youre wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Why does Jessie have to date smart guys? What do you want, Bradley? I finally ask, going into bored mode again. God, this kid was monotonous. Being monotonous is a good way to piss me off. And if youre an annoying puny guy like Mr. Toothpick over here, its also a good way to put yourself at the top of my People-I-Need-To-Beat-Up list. I dont want anything, he says stiffly. The Dean wants to talk to you. Ah, I say. Cool. And I bounce out the room. I walk into the outer office and wave to the ancient secretary. She waves back. Yeah, we have a truce since Im in here so much. She leaves me alone, I leave her alone. Its working out real well, too. I stop, out of sight, as I hear Mr. Gray talking on his phone. Well, he did ask to see me. So Im about to barge in when I hear:

Mr. Montgomerys attitude has improved much, he was chatting. I see absolutely no need to move him back. We can handle him. No need to worry, Ms. Healthgot. No need to worry? Well see about that. 0o0o0o0o0 YOU AGAIN! Mr. Gray bellowed as yet again, a teacher dragged me down to the office. It was seventh period. So far, Id gotten my hands on the guy whod shouted out that Id slept with Jessie, gotten my hands on Benjamin, whod been calling her easy and he was going to put some moves on her, and most people told me that they didnt believe it, because they either were or had been friends with her. Shes not like that, one junior told me with a serious expression on his face. And I told all my friends that. Nows when having a lot of guy friends, or at least a reputation of being nice to (most) people comes in handy. I mean, some people still continues to believe that wed done some things. But after beating up that kid whos yelled it out (if it can be called that, I ducked three punches, swung out, and that was the end of that), well, everyone else who shared his opinion avoided me. Smart people. I believe that he was responsible for Benjamins black eye. Can you prove it? Mr. Gray said hopefully. The teacher sighed, which was all Mr. Gray needed. Everyone knew Id done it, but no one could prove it. Useless, he hissed, and ordered the teacher to leave. That being done, Mr. Gray turned to me. What do you have to say? he asked. What the hell did he expect me to say? Yeah, that was me whod put gum all over the math teachers folders. Of course Id downloaded a virus that got pornography screensavers stuck on the screen of every computer in the school. Yes, it was me whod put that really cute gray mouse in my History teachers desk. It was me that blew up the test tube in Physics. Also, I was planning to put one of Dans stink bombs in some dorm rooms, break another pipe, and maybe terrorize some sophomores in the gym locker room. That would go over well.

I didnt do anything, Mr. G, I protested. Then, because I knew he would hit the roof, I tacked on, You cant prove it. His face flushed a bit, and his hand that was resting on the desk made some weird convulsive motions. Because, we both knew, he couldnt. Haha. Please wait outside, Montgomery, he bit out. I stepped outside, closed the door, and promptly put my ear to it. There was a soft click, and the sound of dialing. Then, Ms. Healthgot? I cant take it any more. Montgomery has all the teachers terrorized, he cuts classes, hes beaten up, as far as we know, two people, and I suspect at least five or so more, he destroys school property, downloaded pornography so I have a picture of some black-haired prostitute on my computer screen right now that I cant get off, and I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I smirk. I called his parents already, and his mother promised to call me when she had the time. However, I doubt itll improve anything, with him running around with such an awful crowd. A beat of silence. Its a very bad situation, and I dont see the humor, so would you please stop laughing? He called my mother? Crap. I reach into my pocket and, without hesitating, turn off my phone. Ill turn it on tomorrow. Hopefully no ones going to try to get through to me. Youre putting him up in a room alone? He asks. A beat of silence. I really dislike this situation. Yes, Im aware this is his last year, but we have the room A heavy sigh. What? How is she putting me all alone in a room? She said I was getting my old room back! Hmmm. I guess shes lying to him. Because she wouldnt lie to me, right? Well see, Mr. Gray intoned ominously, but there was a defeated note in his voice. He wanted me out, and he wanted me out, now. Maybe I should go and cause some more mayhem to help, you know, convince him that going back would be of his best interests 0o0o0o0o0 I started the small climb to her window with only a bit of pain. One of the seniors Id caught making cracks about me and Jessie had been quick

enough to get a few shoves and punches in before Id gotten the upper hand. Hmmm. Shed stuck a note on the window. A post-it, actually. GO AWAY MONTGOMERY. I grin, and then noticed a second one posted under it. I lift the first one up. STOP SMILING. IM SERIOUS. Umno. I hoist myself on the window ledge and glance in. Oh, crap. No wonder. She was having a sleepover. Eva and Anne. Why didnt she? Ah, yes, Id turned off my phone. I bet that when I turn it on, therell be like five missed phone calls and a bunch of text messages. Theyve dragged a TV in, and are watching what seemed to be That 70s Show. Eva and Anne had their backs to me, and were cheerfully shoving popcorn into their mouths. Jessie was also eating, but she must have detected something, because she glanced at me, then looked back at the television. A second later, her head whips around again, and a look of comic horror comes over her face. I blow her a kiss. Her head turns back to the TV after darting a nervous look at her friends. They hadnt noticed anything. She stuck her arm behind her back and flipped me the bird. Then she mouthed to me, Off. Get it? Fuck and then off. Yeah, she really, really wants me to leave. I open the window and slip in just as Jessie says, Anne, how many guys have you gone out with? Because Ive Ohmigod! Eva shrieked. Anne spun around as well as she could sitting on the ground, and gaped at me while Evas mouth just hung open. Jessie made a small groaning noise and buried her face in her hands. Ohmigod. Eva repeats. Then, Okay. Whatever. Hi, Rafael. She shoots Jessie a look that promises a deadly bout of questioning to come. Jessie blushes.

Hey, Eva, I remark pleasantly. I sit down comfortably next to Anne, slinging one arm around her shoulder and grabbing a handful of popcorn with the other one. So, Anne. Boyfriends? No, she whispered, looking extremely uncomfortable. I havent had any. Jessie choked on a piece of popcorn. After a bit of coughing, she rasped, What? Are you insane? Why on Earth not? Eva blinked. Jessie she started, and then trailed off. Trying again, she said, Dont you know that I pop some more popcorn in my mouth and say around it, A more accurate question would be how many girlfriends shes had. Right? Dead silence. Jessies face was one of total shock. Eva glared at me. I was trying to come up with a more delicate way of saying it, she muttered. Oops. Annes whole body is tense under my arm. Howd you know? She asked Eva hesitantly. Eva shrugged. It was obvious to me, she said, and glanced at me. Howd you know, Montgomery? I think of all the times Tessa has aimed kicks in my direction and withhold the wince as well as the urge to rub my shin. Experience. We all look at Jessie, who still looks a bit shocked. I -I didnt know, she stammers. I mean, no ones ever said anythingJared Jared doesnt know, Anne answers stiffly. You know how my family is about that sort of thing. They would kick me out the house. Because Jessie still looks surprised, she points out with a trace of bitterness, Well, if it bothers you, at least you wont have to put up with it for long. Jessie, for some reason, shoots a panicked look at me. No, Anne. I would never do that to you. Huh? I butt in. Whats going on? My stomach tightened when all the girls exchange glances. Anne speaks in her normal, quiet manner. Jessie is going to be a part of the student exchange student program. She got in last minute. Shell be studying in Spain for a few months. One glance at Jessies closed, set face tells me that shes for real. v

What was my life? A big fucking movie set? Because thats how I feel right now. Jessie and the other seniors are going to board the small plane in a few minutes, where they go to the main airport. And after that, off they go to Spain. All the other girls are chatting away happily with their friends, hugging them, promising to write, promising to break as many hearts as possible. Jessies got her small suitcase with, knowing her, about five sets of clothes only. Either that or shes having the rest of her stuff shipped; shes smart like that. Real smart. Smart enough not to talk to me, touch me, or attempt to even acknowledge me. Because, if I open my mouth, I have no idea what ugly thing Ill say. So why am I here? Dunno, really. Im standing apart from the others, lounging against the wall, and I dont think Ive taken my eyes off Jessie yet. I mean, Im not going to see her for about two and a half months. Thats about seventy-five days. A thousand and eight hundred hours. A hundred and eight fucking thousand minutes. Dont even ask me for seconds. I did all those calculations last night. After Anne told me what happened, thered been this great, awkward silence, while I stared at Jessie, Jessie stared at the floor, and everyone else stared at me. Id wanted to say something, scream something, yell something, but the words wouldnt come out. So I left. Just got up, quietly slid open the window, and climbed out. Brad had been asleep when I came back, so he didnt see me come in and lay down on the bed, just staring at the ceiling while slowly, the shadows on the wall lengthened and changed while the moon came and went. I guess that somewhere during that time, I was supposed to have some major epiphany as to how to get her to stay. How to get her to admit to feeling something for me. Because this attraction we have is real intense, but its more than that: I like her. I dont like every girl I do shit with. But, Jessie, I like. As in, I LIKE her. Im amused by her quirks. Im amazed (and occasionally terrified) by her mind. I want to help her, be with her, and break Michaels nose all over again for even LOOKING at her. I mean, this isnt normal, right? I dont think it is. I dont think Ive felt this way before. So either I really, really like her, or Im coming down with the

flu. Between the two, Id rather have the latter, but it doesnt look like Ill have much choice, right? But, I didnt have any epiphanies. So as I watch, she gives Eva one last hug, and the same for Anne. Obviously, theres no awkwardness between them, thankfully. She darts a glance my way. I think she suspects that Im looking at her, but she cant be sure; Im wearing shades. I dont want anyone to see how tired and drawn I look. Its no ones damn business. All right, girls, Ms. Healthgot announces. She gives each of them a hug. When she gives Jessie one, she whispers something in her ear. Jessie shuts her eyes and nods. Then she exchanges a long, silent look with Eva. After a moment, she walks over to me, her body language telling me shed like to be doing anything but talk to me. I dont move a muscle, keeping my face completely unreadable. She falters slightly, but draws in a breath. I I have to go, now, she falters. I let that hang in a horrible, awkward silence that followed. No, you dont, I want to shout. You can stay here. With me. Rafael, she pleads suddenly. Please. Before I can stop myself, I turn my head and look at her. I dont think Ive ever heard her say please before. Her face is also drawn, with delicate shadows marring the skin under brown eyes that look too sad and too lonely for my liking. I suddenly want to touch her; I clench my fingers into a fist so I dont reach out and touch her. Id checked my messages; they were all from Jessie, telling me not to come over. Nothing about her joining a student exchange program last minute and that she was leaving the next day. Nothing. Was she even going to tell me? I was dying to know. But I was afraid of the answer. Never ask a question if you dont want the answer, my mum would admonish me occasionally. So I didnt ask. Jessica, Ms. Healthgot called out. Her face fell, and she turned around and started walking away from me, that damn pride of hers keeping her back ramrod straight and her chin tilted up. Was that going to be our last contact? What the fuck was wrong with me? Yeah, Im giving in here again, but its either swallowing my pride now or choke on it for the next couple of weeks. Months.

Jessie, I hear myself blurt out. My voice is a bit rough and low, because I havent really used it for the last sixteen hours or so. You could say I got a bit antisocial She turns around, her face guarded. What? Write. What? Write to me, okay? She hesitates, and nods slowly, and what seems to be a start of a hesitant smile lights her face for a brief moment. Yeah. Ill do that. Ask Eva for my email address. I hesitate for a brief moment, too. Good, I respond in my coldest voice, not wanting her to answer back to that. She doesnt. She boards on the plane. She doesnt look back once. 0o0o0o0o0 To: TheOneAndOnly From: jdavidson Hey, its me, Jessie. Well, duh. It kinda said so on the envelope. I was going to send you a post card, but theyre lame. I took some pictures of my first day here; when Ive finished the roll, Ill send you a bunch with explanations written on the back. Its so cool here! Were staying in a school in Madrid, and its gorgeous. The city here is really big, with all different parts that Im just dying to explore. Its also supposed to have a great nightlife, and theres a really nice club for teens nearby. Thats were the rest of the girls went, but I was really tired because I didnt get much sleep last night, and I just cant sleep on planes. Its too much fun watching other people. Were sharing a double dorm, which is two dorms with a connecting door. Theres two large beds and a sofa; I got dibbs on the sofa. Its a bit isolated, so I feel like I have some privacy from everyone else. Not that I dont like the girls. Theyre really nice. But you know, if I ever need to be alone, Ill have my sofa.

So. Youve probably moved back into the girls school, maybe? I tried to clean up my stuff, hope you dont trip over anything. On the left side is all my personal stuff; on the right is stuff you can use if you want. Id done my history homework for the rest of the semester already; I guess I dont need it. Hand it in for me when youre done paraphrasing it, will you? And we have a pop quiz on homework nineteen on Friday. I overheard the teacher talking about it. You might want to study for it. Well, I guess thats it, for now. Jessie Ps. Email back? 0o0o0o0o0 Thanks for the heads up on the quiz. Im the only person that passed, actually. Yeah. I got in a bit more trouble at the boys school, and the Head Dean had a panic attack. So either I was going to get expelled or get moved back to the girls school. Ms. Healthgot and Mr. G had a big fight, and in the end, I got to move back in, but I have an hour detention after school for the next five months or so. But detention is fun, anyway. Some teacher named Ms. Wenser supervises it, but I think shes on crack. So its just a big hour of socializing. The only scary thing is my mother called me. And Ill tell you: I havent had a scolding like that since I attached my sisters old valuable doll collection to a bunch of firecrackers in the back yard. Even though youre probably in contact with them, Evas doing fine. Actually, she and Jared had their first official fight, though Ive got no idea what it was about. You probably know already, but Jared wouldnt tell me. It lasted about five hours until Jared barged into her room and kicked everyone out who was comforting her for some quality make-up time. Make up, make out. Same difference. It was hilarious. Anne seems to be a lot better ever since she admitted it out loud. I think it was really killing her, keeping it inside. Shes talking to me a lot more now. Shes still afraid of telling Jared, and telling her family is apparently out of the question. But shes doing okay. Thanks for the homework. I needed it. And your side was disgustingly organized. I dont get how youre so messy, but everything has its place. Im stealing your pens and your loose leaf, by the way. And Im reading some of

your books. Im reading a book called Bitten. Not my usual type, but its interesting. I feel bad for Clay. Im also stealing your pillow. Christmas break is coming up in a few weeks. Youre staying there? Rafael Ps. Ill always write back. 0o0o0o0o0 I bit my lip when I read the P.S. But I had to. It was my way of telling her Id be there for her, even when I wanted to smack her over the head for being a blind, stubborn, mule-headed female. A sophomore girl glanced over at me. She was a pretty slip of a girl with large blue eyes, well-defined features, and a curvy little body. She also had long, dark brown hair that looked a bit like Jessies. Id seen her in detention a few times before. What are you writing? she asked, genuinely curious. Letter, I say briefly. Ill type it up when I can get to a computer. To who? She asked, then blushed. Sorry. Im really nosy. Never mind. I cant help but smile. Its okay. Im writing to my friend. Jessie. She either doesnt notice my hesitation, or ignores it. Davidson? Jessies cool. Ive talked to her a few times before. My names Rachel, she announces, abruptly changing the subject. Rafael, I state briefly (and probably redundantly), sliding the letter into my bag. I didnt want to talk about Jessie with this girl. I didnt want to talk about Jessie with anyone. Dan and Jared both tried, and got the cold shoulder for a day and a half. Why are you in detention? She shrugged. I get into fights with this girl in my math class because she thinks Im after her boyfriend. Which Im not. But she doesnt get it. What about you? I erased the Deans computers hard drive, I admit. As the girls school dint seem to have a Dean, there was only one possibility. This school was a freaking haven compared to the guys. Seriously.

Her eyes light up and she laughs, a light, pretty sound. (Jessies is low and husky.) Oh, he must have been pissed. Thats one word for it, I agree, smiling slightly. Mr. D had actually screamed. He sounded like a girl. It was funny, though, because the principal had been passing by, but didnt do anything. Did I mention the principal really likes me? I was nice enough to hint that Benjamin had last stolen his Twizzlers. I normally never rat people out to staff, but oh my God, it was irresistible. The teacher rouses up from her state of total oblivion. Detention is over, she announces. I glance at my watch. Actually, it shouldnt end for another twenty minutes, but who am I to argue? See you, I say to Rachel. See you, she echoes after me as I quickly leave the room. 0o0o0o0o0 To: TheneAndOnly From: jdavidson Thats an awful thing to say. But, actually, Ms. Wenser is on something. Well, I think she is, at least. She does smoke pot sometimes, but shes real quiet about that (of course) because Ms. Healthgot will get her fired if she finds out. The only person who passed the quiz? Really? What did you get on it? About my messiness, well, so Im a contradiction about some things. Whatever. Youre very welcome for the supplies. You might want to wash the pillow cover; it probably smells like my shampoo. Youre reading Bitten? You know, it may be under fiction or fantasy in the library, but it has a lot of romance. And you feel bad for Clay? Hes such a total asshole. Well, at least, hes really messed up in life. Arrogant guy. Hmmm. Maybe thats why you associate with him. Haha. When you say in a bit of trouble you know what? I dont even want to know. I was just wonderingare there still rumors going on about me in the boys school? I mean, probably, but are they really bad? I started classes here. Pretty much, we get to sit in with the real classes. Its really awesome, though Im falling behind because I still have to translate

Spanish to English in my head. But Im getting better, and Im speaking a lot better, too. It feels great. I met a small group of people in one of my classes that I hang out. Maria, Selena, and Ashley are the girls; Daniel and Jonathan are the guys. As it is, Im writing this during lunch, and Im going to end it now before the food fight Daniel and Ashley are having ends up all over the paper. Jessie PS. Suggesting for next reading: Theres a sci fi book by Tanya Huff somewhere in the bottom of my closet. I think its called Valors Choice. Its really good. Or theres Deception Point by Dan Brown. PPS. Im staying here for Christmas. Im not going home. Ill send Michael some homemade cookies with walnuts ground up in them. (Hes allergic to nuts.) 0o0o0o0o0 I smile as I close the paper that Id printed out the email onto, then glance at Jared and Dan, who are staring at me with identical annoyed expressions on their faces. What? Do you know that your face lights up every time you get one of her emails? Jesus, Rafael. Its been five days. All youve done is sulk and haunt the computer lab like a damn dog or something. Crap. Not this again. Guys, if youre gonna start this crap again, then get out of my room before I kick you out, I threaten. Theyd dropped by to say hi, as Jared had come to visit Eva and Dan was selling some stink bombs to a small group of troublesome sophomores. I think Rachel was in on it. Id been hanging out with her a bit. Shes a really cool person. I said youre pathetic, Montgomery. Gonna do something bout that? Jared taunts me. Dan rounds on Jared as I keep my head down, hoping they would just vanish and leave me alone. Its not pathetic that hes totally into her, you ass. Its pathetic that he really hasnt done anything to bitch-slap her into reality. A sly note enters his voice. Maybe I should do it for her. I grit my teeth. Hes pushing my buttons, I tell myself. He wont do anything, hes just pushing my buttons because he wants me to do something. Hes friends with Jessie, anyway.

Maybe I wont give her that dose o reality, but Im sure Benjamin wouldnt mind he continues. Okay. So he pushed the right button. My head snaps up. You do something, and no one will stop me from getting you. And, thus, proving that I gave a shit. Of course, he totally ruins the effects by laughing. Gleefully. Kinky, Rafael. Very kinky. He sobers when he sees my face hasnt changed. Okay, okay. Jeez. Sure you dont want to hey, Jared. You should tell him what Eva told you. Jared rounds on Dan, cursing, while I demand, What did Eva say? Um Jared. Help a fellow guy here, I appeal shamelessly to his masculinity. Jared ran an agitated hand through his hair. Well Jared, I demand. I really shouldnt Jared, I whine. Okay. Jeez. Actually, Eva should be up here in a minute or so. You see, Jessie kinda left her diary behind, and shes dead scared that you might find it and read it. We all eye each other for a moment, silently telling ourselves that to do take advantage of that would be totally immoral, then leap up and start ransacking the room. 0o0o0o0o0 Eva eyes us all uncertainly. I dont think she expected me, Dan, and her boyfriend to be inside the room when she opened the door, much less all of us jumping in shock because we hadnt heard her coming. Ah. Jessie asked me to find something. I smile radiantly. Go ahead. She turns around and heads straight for under the bed. We exchange looks behind her back. Jared reaches over and plucks a dust ball off my head while I pull my shirt more securely over the back of my pants, in which Id hastily stuck the small black book Id found under the bed, as if it had fallen between the bed frame and the wall.

0o0o0o0o0 To: jdavidson From : TheOneAndOnly Heya, I got a hundred on that quiz. She was so impressed, maybe shell overlook the fact that I still havent handed in a history project, and I dont really plan to, either. And dont get on my back about that. It only counts as ten percent of my grade, so if everything else goes well, Ill still do pretty good. Well, good by my standards. And whats this? Youre falling behind in your classes? Remind me to get that letter framed and mounted. The rumors are, as we both know, still there. But it died down because of some new scandal. Dunno what it is, I havent really been out much. Yeah. Your pillow does smell like your shampoo. But its nice. Why do you think Im using it in the first place? It reminds me of y 0o0o0o0o0 Stopping mid-word, I reread the last couple of sentences, cursed, and delete the whole email. How can I send something as disgusting as that? I reached for my phone, and was listening to Tessas phone ring before I turned it off. What was I going to say to her? I havent really talked to anyone in the past week, seven days where I havent seen Jessie, been able to argue and yell at her, to tease and kiss her. I havent heard her voice, and I know all it would take was a simple phone call, but, damn it, I just couldnt make myself pick up the phone and call. My phone rang, and I jumped. I glanced at the screen and sighed. Tessa. She wouldnt stop calling till I picked up, either. I knew that from experience. So I picked up with a long suffering sigh. Hi, I grumble ungraciously. What did you do? Tessas voice sounded resigned. What do you mean? I snap. I didnt do anything. Oh, she muttered. Let me guess. Something went wrong between you and Jessie. Jessie did something youre not happy about, youre too freaking stubborn and oblivious to your feelings to do anything, so you called me for some advice, but you figured halfway it wouldnt solve anything, so you hung up. Look, Rafael, Im in the middle of a shoot here, and Im getting paid fifteen grand for this baby. Figure out a way to get her when she gets

back. So cut the crap do something before she finds another fish in the sea that shes more comfortable with. And she hangs up on me. Tessa? Blunt? What makes you say that? I sigh, and look around the room. Id been having a moral battle for the past twenty-four hours. Id stuck the diary in my boxer drawer; I figured Eva wouldnt have the guts to go through that. Shed been popping up frequently, and every time she left she would look more and more frantic. I was feeling really guilty. I mean, maybe it was just personal reflections, and nothing about me. As Id done countless times, I knelt next to the drawers and opened it, digging past the sock layers, and into the boxers until I located the book. I pull it out, and trace my fingers over the cover. I really shouldnt In what must have been a divine sign, I lose my balance and topple over, dropping the book. It lands with a soft thud, and a small piece of appear falls out onto the ground from where it had been stuck inside the notebook. It was the silly note Id left behind when Id slept over. You know, the whole roses are red thing. So, it was about me in some places. Hence, you cant blame me for opening the book up. It must have been fate Dear Diary, Wow. What a crappy way to start a diary. I glance towards the door. I really shouldnt. Its a vicious invasion to her privacy. Its rude, unforgivable (my sister still hasnt forgiven me, I think) and, well, some people get into some pretty deep shit inside their writing. On the other hand: How else am I gonna know? So, I make a compromise. Im just going to flick through it, and look at certain parts. And most definitely the last entry. Hopefully she wrote one between the time I stormed out and she left on the plane. 0o0o0o0o0 But one of my darling friends ratted me out no ones taking the blame and told him I would be in the library. So he comes up behind me and

makes it so that I cant move unless I want to brush up against him. Tried to hold still, but He must do some serious workout. Cant believe I just wrote that. So what he has a great body? So what? Jessie, doll, that means you noticed. I remember that - it was when I had her up against the bookshelves in the library after she told Betty that her food had make me sick. Remember? She tried to starve me? Crap. Now Im hungry. But this is way more interesting. I skip ahead a few pages 0o0o0o0o0 I cant believe hes getting his boxers in a twist because hes worried Im with someone else. Shouldnt I be worrying about him myself? Because I see him all the time flirting and laughing with other girls. And if I were to point it out, he probably wouldnt even realize it. Its natural for him. But its not for me? Thats just wrong. I wince. If theres one problem at all with me, its that flirting is a total natural. But, damn it, I dont mean anything. Does the fact I havent kissed a single person besides her count for anything? How did she know I wore boxers? 0o0o0o0o0 Unfortunately its those stares that get to me. I dont even know if he realizes hes doing it. Ill be in History, and Ill glance at him out of the corner of my eye, and hell just be staring at me with those incredible eyes. Okay. Note to self: dont bother smiling. Just stare. I grin to myself, and turn the page. 0o0o0o0o0 And even if we WERE, Im still a virgin, thank you very much. Though looking over the past weeks, I have to admitah, lets not get into that. I raise my eyebrows. I wish she would hey. Maybe Im not the only person with these damn dreams. I mean, I had another one two days ago where she I read on in the diary hurriedly before my overly active imagination can drift down that street (again).

But since he isnt in this school, I mean that means I can ask him out, maybe. Separate schools would make it a lot easier. The only thing Im worried about is if people will think that because were suddenly going out that what Marie said was true. Unless Rafael turns me down Oops. That explains her disappointment when I told her that I was going back to the girls school. She thinks I would say no? I sigh. I cant wait till she gets back from Spain so I can get a few things straight. 0o0o0o0o0 I got this great, detailed coiled dragon on mythigh, lets say, and Eva got a little fairy in a similar place. Eva, Ms. Proper, Ms. Cool-as-a-damn-cucumber, has a tattoo on her butt? I smirk. I bet you that, first of all, Jared doesnt know. And I also bet that she wouldnt mind doing me a favor to make sure that I dont accidentally tell Jared. Well, that is, dont soon accidentally tell him. Because thats the type of stuff a guy should know about his girlfriend 0o0o0o0o0 Who am I kidding? Okay, yeah, Im angry, but seriously? Im hurt. Really, really hurt he would do that. And Id rather be angry than hurt, because that means I care what he says about me, that I care what he thinks about me. I resist the urge to slam my head against the wall. Jessie moves SLOOOOOOW. How long did that take? Like two months? Well, at least something finally happened. So, she cares about me. And shes not comfortable with it. I mean, she obviously is completely into me. But the more I go after her, the more she runs emotionally 0o0o0o0o0 He left me a random note this morning. Hed written: roses are red, violets are blue, I swear I dont snore, and neither do you. How totally stupid and completely adorable is that? Very stupid, totally impetuous. Glad she saw the humor in it And now, for the last entry 0o0o0o0o0 Hey, I fucked up. No other words for it.

Cold bare facts: I was informed that I could be put into the program last minute, but I had to decide on the spot whether I wanted to or not, whereupon my father (he was the easiest target, he doesnt give a shit about people that arent related by blood to people) so I said yes. To get away from the rumor, to get away from two breaks that I might have had to spend with my oh-so-loving family otherwise, just to get away. So I run when I feel over my head. Sue me. I like having SOME semblance of control as much as the next person. And I swear, there is no control where Rafael is involved. So I didnt tell him I would be leaving. Id reasoned, what good would that do? If hed gotten upset, then wed have fought. I dont want to fight. I just want to get out. And if hed not cared then I would have probably started crying. Ironically, I cried anyway and thats the first time, too. In my opinion, crying about a guy is one time too much. Because Ive never met someone worth it. So now, Im leaving in a few hours. Havent slept at all yet, probably wont at all. Ive thought about calling Rafael; but my God. When Anne told him, he had the freakiest expression on his face. Like hed suddenly just turned off all his emotions without any effort, so all there was to look at was a stolid face and blank eyes. It scared the crap out of me. So so what? I dont know what to write. I messed up. I hurt him. I hurt myself. I hurt everyone. Great. Wonderful. And now Im off. Nothing more to say. I shouldnt have done that? Ill always regret it? Ill really miss him? Duh to all three of those things. Jessie 0o0o0o0o0 I sigh, heavily. So she hadnt wanted to tell me. She didnt want a reaction, she didnt want a confrontation. She didnt want a rejection. She pretty much didnt want to face the fact that there was something beyond the physical. Isnt the whole reluctance-to-admit-feelings traditionally for the guys to feel? Jessie really needs to start reading that rulebook It was December tenth. It was her birthday in four days. I knew what I wanted to get her, but the mall near here didnt have what I wanted.

Christmas break, which lasts three weeks (yes!), was coming up in exactly seven days. Im going back home to my parents. Id begged my mum to let me go on a trip with some friends (Spain, perhaps?) But shed told me calmly that I was grounded the whole vacation for, in her words, behaving atrociously. Thats whats so formidable about her. She takes things to damn calm. Im not like that. I like to bounce around in life and take nothing in peacefully. Dani just doesnt have a life. But when bad things happen, shes all reserved. Unless shes related to them. Like when I piss her off, hell no does she act like a CEO. Shell tear around the house after me, screaming bloody murder at the top of her lungs. Fun. I get to see Dani over Christmas Break. And shell be so happy to see me. See me grounded, that is. Dani and Jessie are kinda alike. Both keep away from messy emotions. You know, maybe I shouldnt drag Jessie home with me. Because if those two met Egads. The plus side of obeying my moms summons and going home? I can sneak out, meet with a bunch of old friends, and nab Tessa and go have fun at night. And talking about Tessa What? She answers a moment later. Hi, Rafael. How nice to hear you, Rafael. I missed you, Rafael. How are you, Rafael? I mutter. Im doing fine. What do you need? I cough. Well. Promise not to laugh? No. Wow. Very helpful. Okay. I need you to buy me something, and send it to someone for me. Let me guess. Jessie. She cuts in. Yeah I trail off. Am I really that one-tracked? I shake off the thought and go back to the topic at hand. I need you to get her two things. Dont laugh.pleaseAnd I owe you big, babe. 0o0o0o0o0 To: TheOneAndOnly

From: jdavidson Yo! Thank you so much for the present! I got the package and I couldnt figure out when Id ordered anything what, did you personally call the store to deliver? Wow. (Um. I dont have those connections. I give all credit to Tessa. Ahon with the email) I loved the PJs. And the little Hersheys kisses all over them were totally adorable. I love them. I put them on the second I (ripped) open the box. I love packages. About the lingerie that youd slipped in its stunning. And youre crazy if you think Im ever wearing it within a five mile radius of where you are. Nice try, though. What are you doing for the Christmas break? Jessie P.S. I know Eva was looking for it I left a small, black book behind. If you find it, please dont open it, just put it with my stuff. Thanks. I cant find it, Eva cant find it, and Im really worried. 0o0o0o0o0 I placed the letter on the small bag I was taking home with me; I had stuff there, too, so I really didnt need to bring anything. Eva had recently found the diary shoved in the corner of Jessies side of the closet; odd, really, because Eva had looked there twice. But I guess thats how life works, huh? Glad she liked the PJs. Tessa hadnt been overly enthusiastic about searching for cute PJs, but she was more than happy to venture into the domain of Victorias Secret for the second item. Tessa had taken a picture of the silky little slip via phone and sent it to me, and Id called her and told her to buy it. Shes going to wear it for you? Tessa had asked skeptically. No, I admit. Just a joke. She pauses for a moment. But, of course, if she were to Im a guy, I snap, and then let out my breath slowly. Look. Ill be home in like a day or so. Im on a morning flight tomorrow bright and early. So Ill see you after a good nights rest. Are you bringing any friends? I sigh. Another time. Im grounded. Poor baby, she mocks. Well, bring pictures.

Those I had. Eva, whos a total demon with a camera, went a bit crazy taking pictures of people so she could show her friends back at whatever state she lived in. She got them developed last night at the mall, and Id asked her to get me copies. Theyre in my bag, loads of pictures of Jared, Eva, Anne, Dan, and some old ones of Jessie that had been taken earlier in the year. There was also a bunch of other people, some I was familiar with, some I wasnt. I have them, I promised. So, Ill see you in a day or two? I thought you were grounded, she teased. Then, okay. That trees still hale and hearty outside of your window, so Ill bring a bunch of the old gang. Okay? Sure, I say. But, Ill be exhausted. So just bring like three people with you. See you soon, hon, she says cheerfully, and hangs up. Oh bye, I say sarcastically into the dead line, then hang up myself before I waste more minutes. Not that I pay the bill anyway, but you know if I go too much over, my parents make me pay for the damn thing. Someone knocks on the door. Yeah? I call out. Eva sticks her head in. Look. I know youre in denial about Jessie, but the rest of us miss your presence at dinner. So join us. Im not in denial! Denial isnt only a river in Egypt, she mutters, and her head vanishes out of sight and the door shut with a sharp snap. I wince. Okay. Maybe I had been avoiding humanity lately. What is wrong with me? The flu. Im coming down with the flu 0o0o0o0o0 Ill trade with you, Rachel asserts desperately. I never realized that she was at our table. Dinner tended to be uneventful, as everyone was too buy stuffing their faces to say much, but the meal was half done by the time I dragged my lazy ass down there. Eva snorts with laughter. For a day. We have to switch. I mean, its great having those.

Its really not, Another girl defends. They hurt like a bitch every time, you cant move around, skimpy shirts are dangerous, and guys cant keep their eyes off of them. And its not like they treat you better in the end. Yet another senior, Christie, rolls her eyes. Suuuuuure. I sit down. What are you guys talking about? Dead silence. Then, Hey, Melly, did you hear something? Eva asks. Melissa tilts her head. You know it sounds an awful lot like a guy that used to sit with us but, it cant be him, can it? Girls, I sigh. Come on. They all pass silent messages, and pass the judgement. okay., Melly says for them all. Only because youre so hot. Otherwise, you dont deserve forgiveness. Very funny, I rejoin. So, what do you guys want to trade? Boobs, Rachel announces succinctly. What? Breasts, Eva clarifies, and leans closer. Okay. So, are guys attracted to girls with more boobs? Like, are curves up there needed? I dart a quick glance around. All of you are fine. Are you going to go somewhere over the break, or are you staying here? Some girls were staying here if they wanted to, or had to. Melly ignores my question. Okay. Thanks for letting us know you just checked us all out. But, like, Rachel has bigger ones than Eva. So would she be more attractive, or does it not really matter? Like, boob-wise, ignore everything else. How did I get into this? Um I flounder, trying to think of something to say that would be neutral. First off. I refuse to comment on you, Eva, because its wrong. Guys do not check out their friends girlfriends body (openly). Secondly, every guy has his own preference. Like, not all girls like the bad-boy type Eighty-two percent of females dig the bad-boy type, Eva proclaims.

So, Rachel picks up, Theres obviously a larger preference. So, maybe most guys like big boobs. So - - What do you like? Christie puts in. Medium-small, Eva guesses. Thats Jessies size, anyway. This is embarrassing. I clap my hands over my ears. Im not listening, I snap. In fact, Im going to get up right now and leave the They have Sloppy Joes for dinner, three girls say quickly as I start to get up with the intent of going back to my room. Thanks to Jessie (wonder what shes doing now?) I can now sneak into the kitchen, find what I need, and get out without being caught. Food versus humiliation. My stomach growls, and I place a hand over it protectively. When did you start these conversations? I ask. Ive never heard this before. The conversations are usually PG. Well, okay, occasionally PG-13 for language. We try to avoid them when youre listening, Eva says. Were nice like that. But, actually, we were wondering, if you dont have sex with your date after Prom, would you dump her afterwards, or, would you think less of her if you did it in a Someone shoot me now. 0o0o0o0o0 Its so easy for me to sleep on an airplane. Everythings muted, I feel relaxed, and its so easy to just drift offexcept when youre with a bunch of hyper teenagers eager to get on with the break. Im in the small plane, and its jammed full with guys and girls all screaming and throwing food around as hard as they can. Its gross. It really is. Fun, yeah, but gross. I already nailed Benjamin across the cabin in the head four times with animal crackers. He threw a few grapes but his aim is crap. I catch a carrot as it soars past me and arc it over the seat in front of me, to where Jared is currently sitting with Eva. Hes busy trying to make up for all the hours he and Eva are going to be parted over break, because shes going on a skiing trip, and Jareds going home. I mean, an hour or two isnt long enough to cover the three-week absence, but Ill give them credit for effort.

The carrot hits hits Jared in the cheek, and he jerks away from Eva in shock. What the fuck? he exclaims, and picks up the carrot. Montgomery! I glare at him. I didnt do that, asshole. Look around you. Theres a damn food fight here. Why ylooking at me? He accepts the lie, and goes back to well, we all know what. Im bored. I miss Jessie. I bet we could give those two a run for their money. I would settle for just talking to her next me, though. You know, just talkingteasing her somethinganything And when we get off at the big airport, and we all go our separate ways promising each other that well call and write and send postcards, I cant really help but glance at the terminal that provided an indirect flight route to Spain. If it werent for the fact that no one argues beyond a certain point with my mum, and that I really do love her, I would really just hop onto that plane and the hell with anyone who says different. 0o0o0o0o0 My moms waiting at the airport when I get off. The second she sees me, her whole face lights up and she runs to me and gives me a hard hug. Laughing, I easily pick her up and swing her in a circle. A cool thing about my family is that were not usually reserved about stuff. Its nice. When I put her back down, she beams up at me, her short hair framing her still youthful face and wearing a quietly expensive suit. Shes five inches shorter than me, and we look pretty alike, except where shes blond and feminine, Im blond and anything but. Dont listen to my sister, who happens to be nearby, eyeing me with distrust. Mum must have bribed her again Hey, Dani, I sing, slinging an arm around her waist, How are you, dear sister of mine? I missed you so very, very much. You hid my hairspray, she sniffs. And you changed my alarm to two-thirty in the morning. Ah, yes, those last minute good-bye pranks. Juvenile? Me? So? Well, I continue, Im fine. I had a blast. Im sure you did, Dani mutters. Watch your step, or Ill file a lawsuit against those two schools. I have a possibility of a merger between my company and another large one, and I need to be rested and not paranoid about

finding a mouse in my briefcase. A lawsuit would take me a mere nanosecond. I freeze in midstep as the threat registers. You wouldnt. Id only done the mouse thing once Wanna bet? Nonot really I sigh. I mean, I didnt do anything. Besides sleep with half the population in the school, Dani says quietly so that Mum wont hear her. Its funny. Normally, the two of us are real mature (well, okay, she is) but stick us in the same room and like ten years comes off of us, along with the maturity. I didnt, I say just as coolly. I didnt sleep with any of them. Well. Actually, I had slept with Jessie. But I hadnt had SEX with her. Thats good to hear, Mum says optimistically. Liar, Dani snapped, obviously not wanting to concede. You SO havent been a monk for the past three months. Its impossible. I sidestep that with a derisive comment of my own. You make it sound like guys think with their dicks. They do! Was the angry reply. Which might explain why youre still a vir THWACK! My head rings as two hard cuffs find their mark on either side of my head with unerring accuracy. Like heat-seeking missiles or something. Rafael Montgomery! You asshole! (Guess who said what?) Like, dont get me wrong. Danis funny (when she wants to be) and nice (again, when she wants to be). Shes not gorgeous, though. No way. Shes got the whole mousy-brown haired thing going on (from my dad), something that I think caused a lot of friction between us. But, she is pretty in an understated way, but I dont think she realizes that. So she kind of gives off a

stay-the-fuck-away-from-me air when around guys. Its a good defense system, but it keeps out EVERYONE. And, it only hurts her more. Not that she listens to me. But one day, Im sure shell meet her match. We step outside into the cold air, and I shiver. Winters starting to roll around, and all Im wearing are jeans and a semi-warm red sweater. I mean, I look damn good in it and all, but still. I need to put on another layer. Dani eyes me, and after a moment, asks bad-temperedly, Do you want my coat? Im not cold. I wave the offer aside. Nah. Im cool. And, Dani? What? Im glad to see you, too. She snorts in disbelief, but as she turns her head away, I see the small, reluctant smile playing on her lips. Hell, yeah, I think when a black car with tinted windows rolls to a stop in front of us and the driver gets out. Home sweet home. I gaze up at the crisp blue sky, marred only by an incoming plane, before getting into the car. And for a moment, I wonder if Jessies looking up at it, too. f that damn tapping noise would just stop, maybe I could get some beauty sleep. Not that I need any, but I didnt get to sleep on the plane, so after coming home, I looked around, smiled, hugged Dad, and toddled off to bed to conk out for a few years. Barely before I finish that thought, the noise ceases. I moan in relief and turn over onto my stomach. Finally, I can get some rest my eyes drift shut Crash! I jerk upright. Oh, my God, someones trying to get into my room I fumble with the light next to my bed, switch it on, and stare at the figure that climbs through the window. The figure looks at me. You know, if youd

opened the damn window, I wouldnt have had to break it. So if your parents ground you even longer, its your fault anyway. Tessa! I yelp, and jump out of bed and grab her into a big hug. She flings her arms around my neck and holds on for a moment, and then pats me on the head. Okay. You can put me down now. I quickly run my hands down her side when I let go. Tessa, you lost more weight again. I mean, its probably just that she went into gym rat mode, but a few years ago shed desperately wanted to head a campaign and had gone borderline anorexic meaning she barely stopped herself in time. Shed been deeply shaken by it, and had ordered me to warn her if I ever thought she was getting unhealthy. Gym, she says proudly, and I cant help but laugh as I look at her. Shed been growing her hair out again, and it was in a thick braid that hung down nearly to her waist. Her skin was still as deeply tanned as ever, and she looked gorgeous. Now, she says briskly. Why dont you help Rae through the window, and after that Alex should be coming. There are more? I yelp, and turn to my window and peer out. Sure enough, clinging to the trunk of the tree is Rae. She sees me looking and waves a hand. Rae? What are you doing? Waiting for you to help me, she retorts. Unless you think I like standing in trees? I roll my eyes. Okay, okay. Jeez. I lean out the window, and reach out. Rae grabs my hand and uses it for balance as she edges along the branch till she can hop through the window. Tessa can usually do it without any help (shes like a cat), but shes the only one besides me who can climb the tree easily. I had to help Jonathan, too. Maybe I should introduce these people. Tessa, if you havent figured out, is my best female friend, and shes pure Brazilian. And the way she was eyeing my suitcase, I think shes going to invite herself for a sleepover tonight. Well, this morning. Its one AM. Rae is a close friend of mine, and also an exgirlfriend. Hey. Shes smart and gorgeous and funny, what was I supposed to do? Damn straight I was going to ask her out. We dated for likeum seven weeks, I believe? Not bad at all. Shes fifteen (which is the youngest age Ill go for), very tall, with black hair and green eyes.

Alex is a year older than me, African-American where Raes Asian, and hes a total and complete asshole. Hes rude, nasty, inappropriate and hes so much fun to hang out with. Actually, wed paired up for his Senior Prank last year. Wed bought out the pet store of harmless garden snakes and released them on the second to last day of school. It became the last day of school as the building had to be evacuated and searched. It had been great. Wed filmed it, too. He still has the videotape. Once everyone was in, I hugged Rae and sidestepped the punch Alex aimed at my arm. You abandoned us for half a year, man! Rae also is looking at me with reproachful eyes. I mean, you may be having fun at the boys school she trails off, and then snickers. Maybe thats why you didnt write back! Having too much fun at the boys school, eh? Rae. She grins evilly at me. Its okay, Rafael. I jus want you to know that I will support you even if you do change orientations. But, she adds quickly, If your boyfriend is hotter, then, on behalf of females everywhere, I would have to step in and do something. Like, seduce your boyfriend. Rae? Yeah? Im not gay. Or bi. Okay, she sighs in total disappointment. I roll my eyes, and she perks up again. But still, it would be nice to have an email address or something Chase had an old one of yours, but you never answered any of the emails we sent Great. Puppy eyes. Just what I needed. Im sorry, I say, meaning it. Chase was Raes best friend, and a good friend of mine. The two of them are pretty inseparable. Hows Chase? Disappointed he couldnt make it over tonight. He was busy. Are you guys going out? I ask curiously. She glares at me. What? Did I say something wrong? No. Were not. Why didnt you email us back? Why arent you guys going out? Why didnt you email us back?

I give up, and answer her question. Stubborn girl. Stubborn guy. Mules, the lot of them, if you ask me. You see I wasnt exactly at the boys school. What? Two voices yelp. Tessa just smirks knowingly and drapes herself over my bed, the pops up again to dive into my suitcase. I was, well, accidentally enrolled into the girls school, you see Are you on drugs? Rae asks, sounding horrified, while Alex just gapes at me. What the hell have you been smoking? Someones been hanging out with Tessa too much, if you ask me. 0o0o0o0o0 As they say, the rest was history. I told stories, about peoples reactions to me. The stuff I did at the boys school. The beating I gave Michael. After a while, Rae interrupts me. Look, thats nice and all, but you were at a girls school. So which girls did you go out with? Um well none of them, really. I mutter. What the fuck? Alex sounds incredulous. I wince. Hey. Well, you see, my roommate, well Rae smiles dreamily. Aw. Thats so sweet. Youre in love with your roommate. She then glares at me. Is she a total bimbo? Because if youve fallen for a bimbo I would have to kick your - Shes not, Tessa and I chorus together. Tessa explains, I talked to her over the phone. Shes as un-bimbo-ish as you can get. Hey. So. These pictures. Shed been glancing through the stack of photos. Explain. Everyone crowds around one particular one. It had been taken during one of Jessie and my truce days. Jared had taken the picture; in it, Jessie, Anne, Eva and I were laughing into the camera, arms around each others necks. I was in the middle, Jessie on one side, Eva on the other, and Anne had jumped on my back. Yeah, thats Jessie, I say, smiling down fondly. I point at Anne, because Tessa had been eyeing the picture. Tessa, thats Anne. Damn Oh, dear. Tessa has a familiar glint in her eyes. Kind of like the one I get when I see Jessie, and she yanks the photo away from me to peer at it

more closely. Rafael, youre bringing her here. Because if you dont, Ill visit you. She would, too. Okay. Ill see what I can do, I say, defeated, and steal the photo back. Jessies the one standing next to me. Shes hot, Alex says, whistling. Isnt she? Oh, God, I miss her so badly. Tessa obviously sees something, because she squeezes my arm sympathetically. Youll get over her, she whispers. I glare at her. That wasnt a really compassionate comment right there. Rae is looking at the picture with an exasperated expression on her face. So, youve fallen for the blonde, huh? What? I look at the picture again, and understanding dawns. No, you idiots. The blond one is Eva. Jessies the brown-haired one. Theres a moment of stunned silence. Then they all speak at once. Alex: What the fuck? Shes not hot! I kicked him in the shin. Hard. What do you mean, shes not hot? Rae: Wow. Okay. Shut up, Alex. Rafaels maturing. A bit delayed, yeah, but better late then never, you know. But what was the most disturbing was Tessas: Holy shit. Jessies the kind of plain one? Yeah. I take what I said back. You arent getting over her at all, babe. Sucks for you, but you were bound to fall soon 0o0o0o0o0 Tessa had invited herself to stay over for a sleepover. Rae and Alex left after like two hours, Rae cracking up every time she looked at me or the picture in succession, and Alex muttering something about the blonde being a better choice. I try to shut the window after they climb out ungainly, but as Tessa had broken it, it kept swinging open. Howd you break this without triggering the alarm system?

Cuz I know how to get through that, she says, getting into my bed with a tired yawn. Idiot, you were the one who taught me B & E. Oh, yeah I glance at her. You know, thats my bed. She grabs my arm and yanks me down next to her. I know it is. And since neither of us are the slightest bit interested in each other, I dont think itll kill you. I roll my eyes. No, Tessa. I mean, youre taking my only pillow. Deal. So. Tell me more about Jessie. She pulls out more photos, and the ones that Jessie had sent to me from Spain that I hadnt had a chance to open yet, and rips the envelope. Colored pictures spill out, and I sigh as I pick them up. Jessie is in lots of them. Laughing, pointing, smiling, living I flip them over, and on the back are such sentences like, Local caf and My room after we got in a Battle of the Sexes pillow fight (there were feathers all over). Hey, look, Tessa observes with great interest in her voice and a catty gleam in her eyes. This Don Juans all chummy with her. If I were straight, Id definitely screw him. I snatch the picture from her, and bare my teeth. Some asshole okay, Ill give it to him, hes not half bad, but nothing compared to me has an arm around Jessies waist. Hes smiling into the camera, while Jessies looking somewhere to her left, like she has no idea that the picture had been taken. A ridiculous amount of jealousy surges up in me until I flip the photo around and read, My friend trying to get the girl he likes to notice him by making her jealous. It didnt work, because she saw right through him. Poor guy. I havent stooped to that level yet, but Tessa crows, obviously not seeing the explanation or hearing my relieved sigh. See? This is what you get when you. Dont. Make. A. Move. She prods me in the chest with every enunciated word. I did make a move! I defend myself irately. Did you kiss her? She queries. I just look at her. Pu-leeze. Thats such an insulting question. I mean, this is Rafael Montgomery here. Did you get past third base?

Yeah. After like two empty classrooms, if you were wondering Did you guys sleep together? Nowell not in that sense. Did you romance her? I groan. Tessa. One hint of anything emotional and she leaps out the window. Its just not possible for her. I swear. Well, then, she says like its obvious. Then you know what you have to do, right? What? I ask warily. Get her to go after you. Call me when you see a pig fly past the window so I know when to put that plan into motion, I bit off sarcastically. She props herself up on her elbow and stares down at me, her perfect face unusually serious. Okay. So you dont like talking about her. So Im going to say this once. I saw your face when you talk about her. I hear it in your voice. I saw how hard you kicked Alex. This is something, Rafael, that you cannot fuck up. Knock on wood, I grumble, rapping my knuckles against the bedpost, and Tessa snickers. Loser. Okay. Now onto a topic that Ill be interested in. Id been thinking about it, and, because it was Tessa, I said what worried me the most. Everyone close to Anne knows except for her own brother. I know, his girlfriend knows, her best friend knows. But not her twin or her family. I cant keep something like this from Jared, but I cant tell him. She shrugs. You think my old man knows about me? Not that hell care that much, because its modeling that supplies him with all the alcohol he needs, but I cant afford any bruises, now can I? she jokes. I know shes totally accepted the fact that shes pretty much on her own, and when she turns eighteen in three months shell easily be able to get out of the depressing place only a fool would call home, but it still worries me. Tessa, your dad wont let you go. Sure he will, she says confidently. I got a copy of my birth certificate fixed up so hell think my birthday is a month later. So by the time he realizes his

income is nothing, then Ill be long gone! she laughs in exultation. Its foolproof. Hes too busy staring into a bottle to notice anything, anyway. And, she abruptly switched topics, because she knows Im worried about her and she hates it when I do that, talk to Anne if youre uncomfortable. Or your friend Eva. Or her eyes light up again, Im sure Jessie has the same worries you do. I havent talked to her at all, I confess, and yelp when she smacks me. Ow, damn it! This is why I hate telling you stuff! Bull, she snaps confidently. You tell me because I My bedroom door opens, and I jump in fright before I realize its Dani. Go away, I snap. She rubs her eyes in exhaustion. Youre supposed to be grounded, you jerk. I cant sleep with all the noise youre making. She registers Tessa, and her eyes widen before going back to their normal sleepy state. I was going to say, you work fast. Whats going on? Hes in love, Tessa heralds, and I elbow her in her stomach. Dani perks up. Youre kidding me. He doesnt fall in love. Im not in love, I bitch. Dani, go back to bed. Tessa, go away. Im really tired. And annoyed. What is with people and love? Im not in love. Im in lust. And in like. Theyre different. I turn onto my stomach and bury my face into my half of the pillow, and promptly fall asleep. 0o0o0o0o0 When I go into the kitchen the next morning, its to find Tessa in my bathrobe eating scrambled eggs with cheese. She sees me staring and curves her arms over the plate protectively. Its skim cheese. You dont like skim cheese. What are you doing here? I hiss. Im supposed to be grounded! Dani breaks some eggs into the pan. Mom knows. She invited Tessa to spend Christmas with us. You do have presents, right? Oh right well. If youll excuse me, I say politely, stealing Danis omelet, I have some Internet surfing to do. And I run up to my room with Dani behind me. Give me back my breakfast! she yells.

No! I say through a mouthful of omelet. Go away or I wont get you a present. Youre the worst brother ever, she wails and stomps back downstairs. I grin. She totally loves me. She just hates to admit it. But yeah. eBay, here I come 0o0o0o0o0 Christmas was fun. For Dani, I got her a necklace and made a card with a ten-item list of why she couldnt help but love me. When she read it, she threw me a dirty look, then gave me my present. I open it up and, well, shriek when it revealed a brown mouse.. I try to leap up and back up at the same time, and end up toppling backwards in my chair, much to the delight of Tessa and Dani. When the thing didnt move, I realize it was one of the fake ones that you can buy at the pet store. Damn it! I yell, and rip open the card. We love you, too! It read, and was signed by my sister and Tessa. E tu, brute? I sigh in disappointment. Tessa shrugged, and then handed me a book called, One Hundred Signs Youre In Love (And In Denial). Tessa, I moan, cradling my head in my hands. I swear, I have no idea where she gets these crazy ideas. You know what I mean? Ooh Mum says in delight, sounding even more delighted with that piece of (false) news than when shed unwrapped her new jewelry box. Youre in love? No! I reject quickly. Hence the denial part, Tessa explains. Ah. Dani says wisely. Well, my dad says, then this should help out a bit. He hands me an envelope, and I open it curiously. There are five expensive cards, and when I peek inside then, I feel my jaw drop. Ohno Theyre invitations. To a party that my parents will be hosting, over well spring break, towards the middle of the end of the year, and its actually about two weeks before my birthday (eighteen! Ill be legal! Whoo-hoo!). And let me say, I hate them. Because the rich, bored adults my parents invite, in turn, bring theyre rich, bored kids. The majority of them being female. So, you do the math. Me looking totally devastating in a tux plus loads of self-absorbed girls equals chaos. But, that shall change this year. Because now, I get to invite friends. Usually, my parents only give me like one card, but now, I have five. Soone for Tessa, one for Jared. One for Eva. One for Anne. Thats four cards.

Guess who gets the fifth? Haha. If I have to tell you, then you know what? Youre real, real slow. I smile radiantly at my parents. Thanks! Dad smiles. I cant wait to meet the special girl. My smile falters. Oh, yeah. Meet the parents. Right. Also meet the sister. Can you imagine putting Jessie in the same room as Dani? And Tessa? Egads. I wouldnt have fake mice given to me as a prank. Id get live rattlesnakes. 0o0o0o0o0 Merry Christmas, I say. Thanks, Eva burbles. I think shes a bit drunk. Shed flown over to Jareds house for Christmas as her Christmas gift from her parents. I wish my parents would let me go to Spain, but I guess not. Oh, well. Hey, Jared wants to (insert giggles) talk to you! Theres some breathless laughter, kissing sounds, then, Yo, Jared all but sings. This is the best fucking Christmas ever. You got something for me? Are you drunk? No, he says, humor in his voice. Eva is, though. I wont take that much advantage of it. Why? Not that you heard it from me, I say quietly, But did you know that your girlfriend has a tattoo of an fairy on her ass? Theres a moment of dead silence. Did you see it? No, I fend off any accusations that might come my way. I well, remember Jessies diary? Oh, yeah. he breathes. Well, I guess Ill get drunk and we can take advantage of each other, right? and he hangs up on me before I can remind them to use condoms. This is so not fair. Jared gets action, but I dont? I hang up the phone, and glance around as Tessa wanders in, chatting away happily with someone on her phone. Its one in the morning, and she looks way too perky. Well, she says, theres someone who wants to talk to you. Dont sweat it. She hands the phone to me. Merry Christmas, Sexy, and

she saunters out the room. Thats a cheap Christmas present, if you ask me. A phone call? Who cares? I cautiously lift the phone to my ear. Hello? Theres no answer, and for a second I thought Tessa had played a joke on me, but then I hear a breathless, Rafael? Who cares? I care. Jessie? Oh, God I start laughing helplessly. Oh, God. I owe her big time. Merry Christmas, I get out. Yeah, she returns, sounding mystified. Whats so funny? I get the chuckles under control. I didnt realize how damn bad I needed to hear your voice, I guess. Oh, she says, sounding a bit shy all of a sudden. Hows your Christmas? I catch myself before I can say its Jessie-less. Its cool. I got some cool stuff. Like what? She asks. Well, I got a promise from my mom that I can have any car I want the second I take a driving test and dont scare the driving instructor into having hysterics during the test drive, my sister and Tessa teamed up to give me a fake mouse and Dani had gotten a bowl of maple syrup positioned strategically on her ajar door um, and I got a lot of cards and gift certificates. You? Cards, she says, some jewelry, clothing, fun things like that. And this phone call, she says jokingly. Ditto, I say seriously, and let that hang before saying, Anything from your family? She brightens, and I can just see her sitting straighter in her chair in Spain, her face lighting up, lips curving, and a hand absently brushing a curl out of her eyes. Yeah. My mom was pissed because Michael got a severe allergic reaction to the cookies Id sent. Odd, isnt it? I laugh, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. Who woulda thought? What did you do, pour almond extract into them? Ah yes, actually.

I whistle. Nice. I bet his face blew up like a balloon. Yeah, she says. Actually, hed, well, gotten some plastic surgery to his face, I have no idea why. - hmmm. Me neither! For some reason, his face got all swollen from the allergies, and it did something weird to his nose I dunno. Ive never heard anything like it. Theres a first time for everything, I say seriously. Tessa, of course, walked past me at that moment to head for the kitchen, where the rest of my family was scarfing down food. Yeah, she said loudly. like theres a first time to fall in I trip her, and anything else she might have said ended in a yelp as she toppled over. Everything okay? Jessies concerned voice comes over the line. Yeah, I laugh lightly, glaring down at my traitorous best friend. There was just some annoying, yapping dog running around nearby. But it went away. Tessa got up, hit me in the arm, and huffed off. Anyway, I mumble. Hows Spain? Awesome! she enthuses, and for the next five minutes, she jabbers about everything and anything Id wanted to know; shes having fun, shes happy, and shes still totally single. Well, she winds down. poor Tessas phone bill will be awfully high, so until the next email, then? Yeah, I respond glumly. Id been perfectly content listening to her chatter, but its probably expensive for her, too. Until that next email. Merry Christmas, hon. You too. A pause. I, um, miss you. Bye. And she hangs up. I hang up, too, one of those grossly sappy grins on my face again. Oh, what I wouldnt give for Jessie and some mistletoe right nowoh, screw the mistletoe. Just give me Jessie. Three more weeks, I realize. Three more weeks. Its gonna be a long three weeks 0o0o0o0o0

Well, that was mostly true. But, that all changed eight days before Jessie was due home. It started when I was busy talking with Dave about random stuff when the door opened, and Eva, Jared, Anne, Christie, and Rachel, and Dan filed in, all looking serious. I take one look at them, apologize to Dave, and hang up. I put my cell away, and sit up on my bed. Who died? Your life, Anne answers. I glance from her to everyone else, whos looking at me resolutely. Evas cuddling up against Jared as he absently puts his arm around her waist. Apparently, those two had been the center of gossip for like three years, both of them driving each other crazy. And look at them now. Arent they cute together? When the hell did I get this mushy? This is gross. No, really it is. We, Rachel said, are sick of you moping. So, were going to help you. I hate to say it, but when friends try to help youbeware. With what? I ask cautiously. You are going to be going steady with Jessie by the time you guys graduate, Dan explains. So, well help you out. You know. Spread rumors. Set her up. Set you up. Urge her on. Make her go after you. Okay. No coincidence. Who talked to Tessa? A moment of silence. Whos Tessa? Jared asked, puzzled. Eva raised her hand. Um, me. She got my number from Jessie. Jessie got her number from your cell phone, I think. But I agree. We have to do something. And, yeah, its going behind her back, but Im sure Jessie will thank us in the end. Both schools will, Christie mutters. Are you in? Dan asks. Hell, no, I snap. (Insert six frighteningly murderous stares.) Um I guess giving it a shot cant hurt, right? I change my mind with a weak smile, and everyone looks at me cheerfully.

Of course not, Christie seconds, and then they all leave, chatting away happily amongst themselves, while Im left behind with the feeling that Jessie isnt even back in my life yet and its already revolving crazily around her. I pull out my cell phone, and content myself buying Frankie Js. Obsession ring tone onto my phone and assigning it to Jessies number. I mean, not only was that our first dance, but also, if that doesnt sum up what the hell is going on between us, then what does? 0o0o0o0o0 One week. One more week till Jessie gets her butt back here where it should have never left. Thats seven days. Also, since her plane is coming in at seven AM, and its seven right now, that means one hundred and sixty eight hours, ten thousand and eighty minutes yeah. Not that Im counting or anything, of course. (Six hundred and four thousand, eight hundred seconds?) Okay. Off to history. Andshit. We had a paper due like, today. I mean I guess I can hand it in tomorrow. Even though tomorrow is Saturday it doesnt matter. Thats the nice thing about the teachers living in a hundredyard radius of me. The bad thing about teachers living in a hundred-yard radius of me? Well they live in a hundred-yard radius of me. My history teacher passed by me in the hallway, and then doubled back, her bag slung over one shoulder, cup of what smells like hot chocolate in her hand, steaming away. I notice that Im not the only one who seems interested in it. I think it may be that time of the month again tempers have been flaring more than usual. Hello, Mr. Montgomery. I sincerely hope that your paper is in your bag, as its due today. I smile. I sincerely hope so, too. She smiles back. Theres no excuse not to have it, as I saw you around the mall for hours at least three times this week. Can anyone say stalker? See, the problem here is I cant say the printer ran out of ink. I mean, its the schools printer. They would know. My dog ate it? I dont have a dog. My sister has a cat. And the cat isnt here. So thats no help. I slip into class, and look in my bag, wishing that a paper would magically appear. It didnt. Isnt that the most unfair thing youve ever heard of? Be-

cause the teacher is glaring at me, I pretend to rifle through my folders. And then, a small stack of papers comes into view. I pull it out. Its the project. What the hell? Then I see the name in the corner. Jessica Davidson. Now I remember. Shed done it early on, having specially asked the teacher for the upcoming project (had she know she wouldnt be on the damn continent to hand it in? Probably not. Just her being an overachiever) and Id stolen it like two weeks ago to paraphrase. But then this movie came out and Id wanted to see it, and after that Id totally forgotten that I had it in my bag, so I never got around to copying it. Im about to slip it back in Jessies name is on it, I cant do anything when its suddenly snatched out of my hand. The teacher heads back to her desk with the essay. The one I didnt write. Oh, crap. I start after her. Thats not... I start, panicking. She puts the paper on her desk, and turns around to look at me, puzzled. You know how sometimes, life seems to go in slow motion? Well, this is one of those times. As she turns her head towards me, her hand knocks into her cup of hot chocolate she always has, and the thing teeters for a moment before spilling all over my er, sorry about that, I mean Jessies paper. Oh, dear, she sighs. No! I yell. Crap! Then my brain kicks in. I accidentally deleted the paper after I printed it! That was my only copy! Oh, she moans, now totally distressed. She picks up the paper, which is thoroughly soaked, and sighs again. Its ruined. Completely ruined. I am so very sorry, Mr. Montgomery. Oh! I wail in (bogus) anguish. I worked forever on that! Haha. She gave me a hundred for it. Is that sexy, or what? 0o0o0o0o0 I walk out of that class, totally happy. Id sadly asked to have the ruined paper back. Because what if it dried and the text somehow came through? She said yes, so I stepped out the class and stuck it in the nearest trashcan. I glance around the hallway. It seems so boring. This school is boring. Im

bored. I mean, I have a billion friends, but it still feels empty. I mean, I know everyone heresee? Theres Marie, hiding from me as usual, Anne walking sedately through the hallway, Christie laughing with her friends, Eva squealing and hugging a stranger? The girl because that is definitely a feminine body has incredibly tanned skin, and short thick dark hair. Actually, if it werent for the hair and the fact that it was impossible, Id say it was Eva saw me staring in confusion, and said something. The girl turned her head Holy shit. Oh, my God. Its Jessie! And shed cut her hair! She was staring at me in total shock with her eyes wide open, and she seemed frozen. I wasnt frozen; my legs were still moving, but they were slowing down as my brain registered what my eyes saw. Jessie was back! She was back! Shed come back earlier and she was Right in front of me, someone barged out a classroom, and I was so damn busy staring at Jessie that I walked right into the door, just as it was slammed open. The last things I saw were stars. Lots of them.I think hes coming around. I think I am too. Maybe I shouldnt. Because my head hurts like a bitch. I mean, you know when your tooth starts hurting a few days after you ate your sisters and your own Halloween candy? Yeah. Except its not my tooth, its my entire head. Especially my forehead, right near my right temple. Now, why had I been knocked out? Jessie! I open my eyes and try to sit up, but the light hurts and someone pushes me back down. You hit your head real hard, Rafael. Eva. I should open my eyes again, but itll hurt even more. I just know it Omigosh! a high voice pipes up, sounding near tears. I killed the hottest guy ever! Im going to go to Hell!

Ill send you there myself if you dont stop whining, a beautifully familiar voice snaps. And if he were that easy to kill, he would have been pushing up daisies ages ago. Unfortunately, hell recover. So get to class. All of you. Or Ill charge you five bucks to stay here and watch. Hurried footsteps pound through the ground and right through my head as people run quickly. Jessie tends to have that effect on people. Jessie!! Whee!! Life is beautiful again!! Then, Montgomery, are you okay? She sounds genuinely upset. I hide a blissful smile. Yeah. Worried about me loosing brain cells? No, she mutters, her voice coming from directly over me. Its impossible to have a negative amount of brain cells. So youre safe. Uh-huh. Shes home all right. Rafael, open your eyes, Eva orders, worried. Oh, crap, you went down hard. I place my hand over where my head is throbbing and sigh silently. Okay. Two options. Either I can curl up in total mortification, which is really, really tempting as of now, or I can twist this to my advantage. Guess what I choose? Eva, I say in my weakest voice. Go to class. Ill be okay. I meant that Eva could leave me alone with Jessie, but then Eva takes it even father. Okay! Jess, take him to the nurses and stay with the poor guy, please? I know you dont have classes as you just got back. and footsteps hurry off, leaving Jessie with no way out and me with the feeling that having people intervene maybe wont be the worst thing ever. Wait! Jessie yelps. But Eva, thank God, doesnt wait. Theres a long, silent pause. Then, Open your eyes. No, thanks, I decline politely. I like the colors on the inside of my eyelids just fine. Theyre real pretty. A cool hand wraps around my wrist, and tugs at it. Let me see. I reluctantly move my hand. I feel warm breath stir my hair shes obviously leaning in to look. I breathe in as unobtrusively as I can, and I cant

help but sigh. She has this nice soap smell, and, of course, she just had to be wearing peach lip-gloss again. You okay? What? You sighed. Then she snickers, a small, muffled one like theres more that shes holding back. Cant blame you. You went down like a ton of bricks. That was, without a doubt, one of the most hilarious things Ive ever seen. The laughter shed obviously been holding in spills out, and theres a thumping noise, as if shed flopped on her back in the middle of the hallway. I crack open my eyes, and sure enough, shes rolling around laughing, her new hair fanning out over the floor. I scowl. Okay, maybe this is a moment that Ill look back on, laugh nervously, and change the subject, but right now shes supposed to feel sorry for me. Because with the luck Ive been having a teacher will come out and give us detention, I give a little moan and clap my hand back over my temple. Oh, fuck, I moan piteously. She stops laughing. A moment later she grabs my arm and hauls me up to my feet. I wasnt joking or playing around when I swayed a bit, and she slips an arm around my waist. Sorry for laughing, she says conversationally. But, I mean, seriously. You distracted me! I accuse. Its your fault! I open my eyes and wince when the light coming in starts a headache, but shes guiding me in he direction of the nurses office, not a wall, so I close my eyes again. Its my fault? she echoes indignantly. You came back a week early, youre tanned, and, I pause for a effect, then all but sob, You cut your hair! Eleven inches, she announces, sounding supremely pleased. I figured it was time for a change, you know. Like it? I cant see it. Ive got my eyes closed. Shes surprised. I can feel it. Wait. You mean I could have been leading you into walls and I missed the chance? She sounds very, very affronted that I didnt offer that tidbit of information earlier. I instantly open my eyes. Now you cant. I keep my gaze focused on where Im headed; my head is swimming a bit. Crap. Watch me have a mild concussion.

0o0o0o0o0 You may have a mild concussion, the nurse proclaims. I groan and slump against the pillows, holding the ice bag to my head. Id taken a peek in the mirror a minute ago and nearly fainted (well, you know, kinda freaked out. Quietly, of course). The whole side of my head is all red and swollen. Jessie told me cheerfully it would go bluish, purplish, greenish, and then yellowish before it was gone. I mean, like, I know that, but Ive never gotten hurt in such an obvious place and embarrassing situation, unless you count the time I was trying to impress a girl in fifth grade by climbing a tree in back of the school and I fell out and broke my arm. I told everyone that Id lost my balance; the truth is thered been a large furry brown spider on the branch I had climbed on and yeah. Because the nurse instantly put me in one of the beds, I could feel myself getting a bit drowsy. No, thanks, I reject hurriedly when she comes after me with some aspirin. Later. She eyes me disapprovingly but leaves me after placing the pills on the table next to the bed I was lying in. Jessie pulls a beanbag chair from out of the corner, plops it next to my bed, and sits on it wiggling her butt till shed created a comfortable hole. So, she starts. Hows everything? I glare at her. She sounds too happy. Peachy keen. She snickers. No, I mean besides you making an idiot of yourself. Anything interesting happen? I close my eyes with a pained grimace. Hmmm. I got the emotional flu, my sister and best friend pulled a prank on me, Dani poured a bottle of the nastiest-smelling perfume ever in my closet to pay me back for the maple syrup, Tessas managed to get Evas phone number, meaning shell have access to everyone what else? Oh, yeah. My best friends in the school are teaming up to hook me up with Jessie permanently (not that Im complaining, but theyll screw something up, I just know it) and of course, I walked into a freaking door. Anything else? Im sure Ill come up with more. If only my head didnt hurt

Jessie, obviously thinking Ive zoned off, got up and made as if to leave. My eyes snap open and I grab her arm. Where do you think youre going? I demand. Sit your butt back down. She cocks an eyebrow. I force a smile. Please? Ummmnah. Ive got stuff to do. She smirks, turns around, and walks towards the door. Holy shit. Thats right. History has just been made. A female is willingly walking out the room in which Rafael Montgomery was occupying, injured and pleading for company. Had the world gone mad? Well, someone had (not me), I decide, watching Jessies butt as she walks across the room confidently. I guess thats it. Confidence. Jessies always been confident. Confident in her grades, confident with her friends, confident that no one would mess with her. I guess I shook up that confidence a bit. But now she seems grounded. Stable. Like shed had around two months to analyze the situation and find the best way through (hopefully not around) it. Speaking of which Jessie? Her butt stops moving. But she doesnt turn around. Yeah? Why are you back early? She smiles. I can tell. Why the program was difficult, but I got the hang of it, pulled a few all-nighters, finished the final project along with extensive analytical notes of the course, handed them in, and the teacher was so blinded by my brilliance, she said Id get full credit for everything. So I went to two last parties and hopped on the next plane. I dont want to miss the school trip, now do I? Im still flummoxed from her last statement. How could you finish the course? Thats impossible. Totally impossible. Obviously not, Jessie shot back, and left.

Great. Shes still as totally nerdy as ever. School trip? o0o0o0o0o0o MY BABY! Its been forever! Its all my fault. I know. I left you behind. And holy crap was I scared that Rafael would findand read and learn. No learning this time. He will not get under my skin. I am going to be in total control of the situation this time. Watch. I can do it. I totally can. Spain rocked my socks. I mean, wonderful food (I put on some weight), wonderful places, and some of those Spanish guys? Sheesh! Hot, hot, hot! But, I pulled more than a few all-nighters, actually. About a week or two ago, Eva called me and told me, out of the blue, that there was a skiing trip coming up, and she was having a personal crisis and she reeeeaaaally needed me. I love skiing. You dont understand. I love it so, so much I will do anything to go. Even go with my family. I love snow. I love flying. I love hot chocolate. And Id been dying to go on the skiing trip. So I loaded up on the caffeine, told my teacher there was a personal emergency I might have to rush back for, and asked for all the work to complete the course and get the credit. My teacher was so amazingly sweet she gave me some stuff to write up on, and then the final essay thing. I dont want to explain what it was... it took forever, it was hell, and it was in Spanish. The end. So I went to Ms. Healthgot, and asked if we could sign up for the ski trip yet. She told me signing up wasnt for a week or so, and if it had anything to do with me crashing the course. I said of course not. But I guess its good I have a week or two. Because now I have to figure out if I can afford it or not I better be able to. Because, you see I refuse to ask my parents for pecuniary help. I dont need their damn money. Seeing Rafael again was like getting punched in the stomach. No, it really was. Id just arrived back; I was hugging Eva, when she suddenly told me to turn around. So I glanced back and it was like, OOMPH!

I guess memory kinda dulled some stuff. Like how disgustingly blue his eyes are, that now slightly ragged blond hair, that drool-worthy face and hed been staring at me with a look of total shock, and it was like a cheesy romance movie. Until, of course, a freshman slammed the door open in front of it and he walked right into it and got knocked out. I mean, the door swung towards him, he was traveling towards it, they connect, and he just goes down in a heap on the floor. The girl nearly had hysterics, and I, well, after assuring myself he was alive, wondered why the hell I hadnt done it to him. Haha. It was great. And now, hopefully, his face wont be so damn pretty and chiseled and gorgeous anymore. Jessie P.S. About Evas problem she still hasnt told me yet what it was. When I saw her earlier today, she seemed totally fine weird. Whatever. P.P.S. I wonder why Eva told me that about the trip; I busted my ass to get back here and its not even existing yet. And another thing the small poem Rafael wrote for me, I know I stuck it in here, but its missing. Eva swears she didnt see it anywhere. Ah, well, I guess it fell out o0o0o0o0o0o School trip is the shit! Rachel explains to me during lunch. Yeah, I know. I skipped my classes because my head hurt, but I mean, lunch doesnt require thinking. I went a bit late because I had to wait until the nurse went on her food break so I could slip out, and as a result overheard a conversation about cramps and leaks that I never want to hear again. That was gross. Who goes? Im talking to Rachel and Melissa, but I cant help myself from periodically glancing over at Jessie. I mean, her hair now frames her face and it looks real nicebut its all gone! And that tan I wonder if she has tan marks. She better; because if not, Ill be damn pissed I didnt just say screw school and go off to Spain or something. She also seems to have gained a bit of weight, like ten pounds, and it just accentuates the curves that may have been overlooked before. Can anyone say drool? Rafael? Hmmm? Oh, right. Crap. I asked a question and I think Rachel just answered it. I sent her an apologetic look, and she sighs, but repeats what shed said before.

Trip is for seniors. Because it can get chaotic, the seniors are separated into different groups, and each go to different places. Last year there was one to a skiing resort, one to some nice beach area, a hiking trip, and dunno the last one. Probably some city. Each happen during different times, and you can only sign up for one. Signing up for the skiing one should come soon, because it is winter. Yeah. It is. Even though it had yet to actually snow, it had become bitingly cold. I didnt go outside that much, but when I did, the sky was blue, the air frigid, and the wind was even worse. Thankfully, this school was excellently heated. I turn back towards Rachel, and shes staring at my head. Jeez, Rafael, that looks awful. I mean, you look like shit. Well, as shitty as you can look. Thanks Rachel, I respond wryly. Ive got a big white band-aid over my temple, more to hide the bruise than anything. And I still feel a bit dizzy, but I quell it easily. Anyway. Skiing. I glance at Jessie and say, So, Jessie She stops in mid sentence, and shoots me an impatient look. For someone that had seemed totally bowled over to see me again, she sure didnt act like she cares now, and it rankled me. Yeah? Youre signing up for the skiing trip? She shrugs. I dont even know if there is one. Eva nods frantically behind Jessie. Okay 0o0o0o0o0 How interesting, Ms. Healthgot says. What is? One, youre cutting class, though I have to admit, I daresay that is one impressive bruise under the band-aid, so Ill let it go. I heard the story from a few freshmen that tore into my office to spread the gossip. Two, you are the second person to ask me if you can sign up for a trip that doesnt exist yet. Im going to kill Eva. Or not, because it did get Jessie home Ms. Healthgot sighed. Well, since word got around that I was doing the skiing trip again she pulls out a piece of paper, titles it Skiing, and writes under it, Jessica Davidson. Then she puts the pen down. First come, first serve.

Ahem, I cough discreetly. She looks at me sweetly. Yes, dear? Ah, arent you going to write my name under it? No, dear. You can go with the boys school. Are you crazy? I yell. No. Though thats debatable at times. She frowns. But I truly wasnt expecting Jessica to be back so soon. I had considered planning to do a new room arrangement My world is collapsing. God, where are you? Get over here right now! God interferes. Sort of. I think it may be best of you stay over again at the boys school. Im terribly sorry for shuffling you around like this. You may study here, of course, but she eyes me, and suddenly sighs in defeat. Oh, never mind. If I send you over, youre just going to sneak back to your own bed like you did last time, right? Oh, my God. She knows? Im going to die. Um? I answer intelligently. Im getting too old for this, she mutters to herself. Im getting too nice in my old age. No, youre not, I intervene quickly. You are the best. I love you. Even though Im not going to let you go on the trip? I smile. Why, of course I dont mindbut could I just know when, where, and the room numbers? No. Please? I pull my best puppy face. Which, as Im sure youve guessed, is the best one ever. She wavers. Why? So I can visit friends during the weekend. Please? 0o0o0o0o0

Im not totally comfortable with this, my dad says. Dad, I only turn eighteen once, this would be an awesome birthday present! I whine. Id been reduced to whining about five minutes ago. My dad just wasnt giving in, damn it! Rafael, he says tiredly. He spoils me rotten when my mum isnt looking, and he cant deny me anything. I really hope that fact holds true. I really do Its not your birthday until the spring. And I dont like you missing school for a week. Okay, okay. Time to pull out the big guns, and I do so shamelessly. Dad. This skiing trip do you remember that girl I told you about? Shes going! Tell me that is not romantic, dad. I mean, wasnt that how you and Mum met? At a ski resort? Come on. I only live once. My dad, I know I mentioned, is a hopeless romantic. And I can tell he caved after that, because a second later Well fine. But you do realize your mother will notice that Ive charged an entire trip and lodgings onto my credit card? Nice try, Dad, I say, knowing I have him. You have a special account Mum doesnt look into, and thats where you charge all these gifts you get her so she cant accidentally stumble across the paper trail. Please? He sighs. This one time, Rafael, this time only. I love you, Dad. Rafael? Yeah? Is she the one? I pound my head against the headboard of the hospital bed. Not smart. My temple starts pounding as well. Dad! Sorry. Bye. Bye, I grumble and hang up. The one, shmum. Please. Dont give me that bullshit unless youre willing to shovel it away a moment later. o0o0o0o0o0o Hey!

I hate to say this, but Rafael does not look ugly with a big bandage on the side of his head and a slightly dazed look in his eyes. In fact, it makes you just want to cuddle him. And then jump him when he gets better. Talking about jumping, I went by Ms. Healthgot again, and she first gave me along lecture that if Rafael does anything I have to report it (I swear, she had a twinkle in her eye when she said it) and that the ski trip is not covered by my scholarship. Its about a thousand. I dont have a thousand. I have like eight hundred and three dollars and eighty-two cents to cover me untilwhenever. I cant make two hundred dollars in two weeks! I mean, I had to give up my job when I went off to Spain, and the girls just had their periods, so I cant bake stuff crap! I mean, I could still make stuff but it wont sell as well. Unless hes staying overnight because of that mild concussion were back to sharing a room. Ms. Healthgot said she could make Rafael go to the guys school, or I could bunk with her, but since the first would be pointless and the second no fun well. If he tries anything, Ill turn the tables. Jessie P.S. Eva still hasnt said anything except shell tell me later. Um I just cut my visit short because she sounded hysterical over the phone? Im feeling a bit lost o0o0o0o0o0o The nurse did her best, but I won out the argument. So Im lying on my back on my own bed, ignoring the text messages I was getting about a certain door incident. Yeah. Damn rumor mill. I checked a few of them, and the majority of people are texting me twice. The first time in concern, the second in downright glee. Jessie wanders in, and hesitates slightly when she sees me. Arent you supposed to be in class? Or with the nurse? I got dizzy, I mutter, ignoring the second question. Actually, it was hurting a lot less, and I didnt get dizzy anymore, but no one needs to know that. Arent you supposed to be in class? Nope, she said. Im not supposed to be back yet, so my schedule will be ready tomorrow. I mean, all the classes I took are year-long courses, so itll be easy; I have the same schedule as last semester.

You owe me like a billion question of the day things, I tell her. So. Spain. Meet anyone special? I meant as in friends, but when the words came out, it sounded all wrong. She glances at me, and I couldnt read the expression in her brown eyes. Then: Friends. Just friends. Her voice sounds cool. I wince. Yeah sorry. Thats what I meant. She doesnt respond, just starts going through her things. Why did you come back early? She starts going through a stack of projects. I got homesick. Anything else? She glares at me. Okay. I saw no reason to wait around longer in Spain. I mean, my whole life is at this school, Montgomery, and I missed it. I missed my friends, I missed my classes, I missed my teachers, I missed all the extracurricular activities and I sure as hell am not going to miss the first snowfall here. Its gorgeous. True sadly enough, it was late mid-February (you know what I mean), and even through the temperature ensured frostbite, it had yet to snow at all. A total waste of cold weather, if you asked me. You think its going to snow? I ask doubtfully. I sure hope so, she sighs, and smiles. You know what would be great? If it snowed tomorrow. It would be the most perfect welcome home, she tells me dreamily. Its Saturday tomorrow and we could have a huge snow fight in the fields by the guys school. That would rock. What are you looking for? I ask. Shed been going through her stuff the whole time weve been talking. I wrote this paper for history, and I could have sworn her voice trails off, and she stalks over to where Im lying down. Give it back. So busted. I look at her, acting puzzled, and open my eyes really wide so they get this big blue innocent look in them. What paper? Montgomery! she snaps, I need that paper. Question of the day. Where is it? Um the garbage can?

What? she screeches, and actually hops around for a moment. Very amusing, in fact. I needed that! I think I accidentally deleted it after Id printed it out! Who would have guessed? But a moment later, she calms down. I have it saved on my laptop, she remembers. Oh, thank God. She glares at me. No thanks to you. Youre hell on my academic life, did you know that? And her social life, but since she doesnt add it, I wont either. Youre a proper little ray of sunshine, did you know that? I retort. Hmmm. Proper little ray of sunshine. I smile. Hey, Sunshine. She freezes, then looks up at me. What? I said, Hey, Sunshine. Whos Sunshine? She reads the answer on my face and practically blanches. If you nickname me Sunshine, Raffie she trails off. Okay, Sunshine. I grin. Holy shit, people, is that the perfect nickname or what? o0o0o0o0o0o Well, I think its perfect. And I know Im driving her up the wall, but I just love saying it. Especially because after the fiftieth time she started making these sort of growling noises in the back of her throat. Can you talk quieter? she asks when I started yelling at Dave over the phone about some dumb thing I couldnt remember five minutes later. Sure, Sunshine. What? Dave asks. Did you just call me Sunshine, you freak? Ew. No. Sunshine, as in my roommate here. You have a nickname for her? I can imagine Dave slouched in his computer chair, shaking his head in defeat. Man, youre a goner. I have never heard you ever use a nickname before. Ever. And, he adds, anticipating what I am about to say, babe doesnt count. What gives? I was saved from having to answer that by Jessie taking the phone and disconnecting it. Okay, she said. We have been sharing this room for exactly

seven hours, and youve already pissed me off. Again. I really dont know how you do it. Care to explain? Well I start. That was rhetorical. And about sharing this room, nothing funny. You hear me? Yeah, I assure, straight faced. No fooling around until you cant resist. She puts her hands on her hips. Excuse me? You dont think I can be without you? Her face was an odd combination of shock and annoyance. I realize my mistake and go into reverse-psychology mode. No. I think you can. Good. And after that whole Marie thing, Im sure you realize that anything between us will be platonic. We can be friends, she offers. I roll my eyes. Friends. Yay. Roll out the celebration banners. Friends is fine, I tell her. Actually, Im glad you dont want anything intense between us. Yeah. Little white lie. But I think I have a general idea of the way Jessies mind works. Wish me luck What? I dont think she was expecting that. Why are you happy? You see, I explain, digging my nails into the palm of my hand to keep the laughter in at the expression on her face. Im an intense guy. So if you have problems handling me, no problem. I understand completely. In fact, I really dont want a girl complicating my life right now. Im going to got on hiatus for the rest of the year. I hope I didnt lay on the deception too thick with the last statement. I can usually just barely make three months without any action. Youve got to be bullshitting me, she yells. That is the most egotistical, ridiculous, ludicrous, self-complimentary, arrogant she runs out of words and fists her hands in her newly cut hair in what looks like total frustration. True? I supply helpfully. She sits down on her bed, and stares at me. Omigosh, she says faintly. Youre serious. She goes into speechless mode some more. Poor girl: shed only been back like seven hours and shes already driven halfway up the wall. I mean, Montgomery. Seriously. I hate to break it to you, but you are not irresistible. Theres got to be some girl thats able to Nope.

One girl youve met thats Uh-uh. In fact, Im kinda bored. Not interested in a relationship. Well, you, but you dont seem to be able to handle me. Its all right. She stares at me, and her eyes go unfocused. And then it slips out her mouth. I bet I could she stops and claps hand over her mouth in horror. Okay. Shes headed in the right direction. You could what? I ask lazily. Get me to what? Fall for you? Please. Shes all but vibrating in annoyance. What? You dont think I could do it? Please. I could get Brad We all know you can get Brad. My voice is deliberately insulting. And were not talking about Brad. I stare at the ceiling, and swallow hard. The laughers halfway up my throat. Crap, if I start laughing now the game will be up and I might crack a rib. Or Jessie will crack it for me. She breathes in and out slowly like shes trying to get control, and the bed creaks. I. Am going to go. Now. Whoo-ee. Shes as mad as a hornet. I yawn. Yeah. Whatever. Nice to have you back, I tack on carelessly. Sure, she mutters and slams the door behind her. I grin, then chuckle, and then just laugh my ass off for the next five minutes until my sides ache and Im close to wiping tears out of my eyes. Its like she hadnt even left in the first place. Face it, I tell myself. Pestering her is your new true love. Damn it, that stupid word just popped up again. o0o0o0o0o0o What did you say to her? Eva asks me in alarm about an hour later. I have never seen her like this before. It was like, I dont know, Hurricane Jessie blew into my room, screamed a lot of stuff with your name in it, and blew out again. Okeedokee. What did she, ah, scream? Theres a moment of silence, then the accusation: Are you enjoying yourself? Hell, yeah. What did she say, Eva? Something about you being an asshole, um, a jerk, conceited ass, the word asshole yeahthat word came up a few times

Besides the curses. Something about if no one else will do it, shell get you to fall for her. Another moment of silence. Yeah. Thats what she said. What did you do? Told her she wouldnt be able to. Eva sighs. Rafael. You know shell talk herself out of it. I mean, now shes dead set on bringing you down, but give her an hour and shell cool down and decide there is no way in hell she would have an chance of seducing you. I perk up. Huh? Seduce? What? I think she might have mentioned that too, Eva proceeds doubtfully, but Im not sure. But I know her. She wont go through with it. You wanted her to hook up with me? Well, consider this Step One. Convince her. Ill try, Eva promises. If anyone can convince her to go for a guy, its me. Actually I think thats her storming back up the hallway. Gotta go. And she hangs up on me. I hang up and yawn. Id been forced to take some painkiller meds, and they usually have delayed effects on me, and now the Jessie-induced adrenaline is gone. Okay naptime. o0o0o0o0o0o Oooh! Bored? Did you hear that, Diary of mine? He says hes bored. I get back, he runs into a door when he sees me, then turns around and tells me hes not interested. That is so not true. I dont flatter myself but if Rafael isnt at all interested in me, Ill purposely fail a Final. It is so tempting to be the girl that brings that pompous (and yes, very excellent) ass down a few notches. The problem with hot guys is their egos. Some of them can barely fit it through the doors, but who cares? They have a pretty face and a nice body. Girls will happily tear a hole in the wall with their bare hands to get them to squeeze said hot bod and ego next to them. I really hope I havent morphed into one of those girls that revolve around him. Im not. I have a life besides him. But Eva said hes been a lot different since Id left, and that a bunch of girls had tried their luck with him and that

he didnt even pay attention. Then later, Rachel bumps into me I dont know her that well, but shes nice and tells me practically the same thing. So I go back to Evas and she told me to go after him. I dont go after guys. Its not my thingreally. Too much work, and totally pointless. But Eva got this faraway look on her face and told me that sometimes, I shouldnt play safe and go after someone thats worth it. Well. It is senior year, and its not like Ill have to see him again in college if I mess it all up crap. How do you seduce a guy, anyway? o0o0o0o0o0o I woke up at 11:59 PM on the dot. Well, okay, thats when I got the energy to look at the clock. Jessie had obviously tiptoed back in and gone to sleep, because shes curled up in a comatose lump in her bed. I lay in the dark, wondering what could have woken me up. I get up and walk to the window, look out, and feel a smile spread on my face. It was snowing. You know what would be great? If it snowed tomorrow. It would be the most perfect welcome home. Hey, Sunshine, I hiss a moment later, shaking her shoulder. Hey, wake up. Rise and shine, Suuuunshiiiine! Maybe singing will work. She opens her eyes and regards me blearily. Uh? I want to show you something. Im angry with you. Youre conceited. Go away. She tries to turn around, but I hook an arm around her waist and drag her, protesting incoherently, out of bed and towards the window. I wanna sleep Let me Oh! She says, suddenly understanding, and as I watch in the pale glow of the moonlight bouncing off the pure snow, her face slowly lights up like a little kid. Its snowing! She squeals and opens the window and sticks her hand out, letting snowflakes fall on her hand. She shoots me a radiant smile. Obviously the frighteningly cold air taking over the room has woken her up. Thanks, Rafael. I sling an arm companionably around her shoulder. No prob. So, snow fight tomorrow? Shes staring out the window, and she looks almost surreal. As I look at her face, I see what Tessa and Alex had seen. Jessie wasnt pretty. Her face was too plain, her features too angular. But there was something about her that just grows on you those clear eyes, the high cheekbones,

that full mouth, her body (hah) at least I wasnt the only one who noticed it. It seems like a lot of guys see it, too. Damn those other guys! I scowl. Maybe it woulda been best if I had been the only one who noticed. She looks at me and I wipe the expression off my face. Of course therell be a snow fight tomorrow. Its tradition. Boys against girls. Boys have lost five years in a row. Thats sad. I feel a pang of empathy. Probably because the guys were too damn afraid to properly throw a snowball. Also, Im sure the girls cheated. Girls always cheat when it comes to the battle of the Sexes. I remember one summer there was a water balloon fight. The guys, me included, had showed up in pants and T-shirts. The girls had shown up in bikinis. Needless to say, most of us got really distracted. And before you ask yeah. The girls had won. But this time, the girls obviously couldnt run around mostly naked unless they wanted to freeze in pace after like three seconds. So what was their secret? Jessie, in the meantime, had stuck her head out the window and was trying to catch a snowflake on her tongue without much luck. Giving up, she pulled her head back in, her hair totally frosted. Yup. The guys have been losing sorely. Gonna do something about that? Yep. I am the king of throwing snowballs. I mean, you should have figured that out I tend to dominate in anything I set my mind to but I have accuracy and one helluva arm. Well, good luck. Youll need it. Im gonna go to bed. Need my strength tomorrow. She smiles at me, and, out of nowhere, raises herself slightly on her toes and kisses me on the cheek. Missed you. And was it just me, or did she not so accidentally brush her hand against my thigh when she turned away from the window? I heart Eva.Well, damn it. The auditions for the school play were going to be held during the ski trip which was intwo weeks. They sure do things on short notice here, dont they? But the positions all thirty of them were filled up within two hours or so, hence hastening the process of booking everything. Just in time for the damn auditions Id really wanted to be in it, but I guess not.

Jessie was also disappointed shed been eager to get a part, too, according to Eva. Ive peeked into some of the drama classes they have them in the auditorium. A couple of students goofed around a lot, but Jessie tried with the single-minded intensity that she focused on the rest of her classes. Shes a damn good actress, too. Shed have probably gotten the lead female part, too. Maybe its good shes not going to be able to participate in it, because then Id have to worry about getting the lead male role. I mean, not worry, because I would totally get it. I meant, as in expend the energy. Because hell no would I let some ass in the Drama class at the boys school get any chance to cop a feel during a rehearsal. The only guy thats allowed to cop a feel is me. So deal. As I sit in my Shakespeare class, the teachers talking about how the drama teachers decided to let the Shakespeare class join in, because they were going to do a Shakespeare play, and there was going to be a meeting for it. At first the meeting had been scheduled after school, but every girl yelled in protest so the teachers capitulated; no one stood in the way of the annual snow fight. No one. In fact, Im supposed to run over to the guys school for an emergency meeting. I mean, hell no am I helping the girls in this. How long was the losing streak? Four years? Five? Six? I cant remember. One year was too long. I though about pretending to be with the girls, and turning the tables, but when I offered to help the girls, they all laughed openly at me. So, I guessnot. After school, I changed into extra-thick pants with a waterproof lining, two T-shirts, three sweaters, and just managed to squeeze my arms into a jacket. I feel like a big puffy ball of clothing. Hopefully, I wont fall over because I dont think itll be easy to get back up. I pull on a hat, sunglasses (for the glare) and a scarf. On go the gloves, and Im ready. The girls eye me suspiciously as I leave because now, Im the enemy. Scary, I tell you. Theyre all but cracking their knuckles. I know that the second I leave the building, the school will rush off to the meeting. I tell you, the competition is stiff. The walk is usually anywhere from fifteen minutes to half an hour, but the snow was still falling, paths had not been fully made yet (but they were being created in case of emergencies) but at sometimes, the drifts were hip deep. Otherwise, it reaches around my knees. It was a full forty-five minutes

later that I staggered into the guys school, where a bunch of my friends were waiting. Jared struggles to yank off my jacket. Pulling at the collar while I try to wiggle my arms out. Jesus, Montgomery, did you really need all this shit? Yeah, I respond grimly. And Im still freezing. Wheres everyone? Cafeteria, Jared answers. Ill lead the meeting. He gives one final tug, and the jacket comes off. I pull off the three sweaters, the scarf, and all that stuff. Dont want to get overheated, and then have to go back out there again. I could get sick. Dont want to get sick. Too busy. Too busy with what, you ask? Well. I do have to pretend to work in school, you know. And Im also busy watching Jessie having an internal battle again. Its self-preservation versus the inability to resist a good challenge. Shell start acting coy, and then suddenly blink, stammer, turn red, and hurry off quickly or, if were in our room (this semester we have a free period at the same time), she buries her nose in a book. True, occasionally the book is being held upside-down, but I dont mention it. Yeah, anyway. So. The meeting. I follow Dan, who had two sweaters in his arms (I had the third sweater and the jacket) to the cafeteria, which is chock full. All the guys heads swivel in my direction. Most people wave or smile; a select few, like Brad and Benjamin, frown. I wonder if its against the rules to ground a teammates face into the snow? Jared, in the meantime, has climbed up onto a table, and the chatter died down quickly. He didnt waste much time. All right, guys, do you know how long weve been losing? He looked around. Five years. How can you look in the mirror, and tell yourself that youve lost five years in a row to girls? Theres a murmur of agreement, and then someone remarks sullenly, But they cheated last year. We were about to win! What happened last year? I whisper to Dan. He grins and says under his breath, Jessie led that one. The second it looked like the girls were gonna lose, she ordered every girl to go after their guy, no holds barred. And I thought it was impossible to fondle a guy through five layers of clothes. Holy crap. Talk about playing dirty. What about the previous years? Jessie had some genius battle plan involving girls dressing up as guys, then surrounding us the year before that, a senior that wanted to major in engineering had built some machine that shot out snowballs at like a hundred

miles per hour. The years before that I dont remember. Its probably recorded somewhere around here. I roll my eyes. Theres probably a history book somewhere in the libraries that account all the competition between the two schools. In fact, Eva told me a few weeks ago that the volleyball competition was coming upyep. You guessed it. During the ski trip. However, there were soccer games and, something I was looking forward to, a football game, which apparently the girls had never won, something that was a really sore spot. Hah. But I have full confidence that were going to win this one. o0o0o0o0o0o The two schools faced off an hour later in the fenced-off snow-covered football field that was a five-minute walk behind the boys school. Teachers from both sides had intervened last minute (accompanied with a chorus of groans and curses) and tried to keep all the boys from going; as a result, it was only about five hundred boys against five hundred girls. Which is going to be my biggest official snowball fight ever. Jessie and another senior I dont recall (her name, that is, I never forget a female face) swagger out, looking supremely smug. Which means they have a plan. Well, so do we. No, Im not going to tell you what it is. Okay. Fine. Ill tell. We made a list of the most troublesome girls that knew how to throw well. The guys who have a good arm are assigned to those girls, with the order to take them out as fast as possible. And before you asked, yes, Jared assigned me to Jessie. Hah. Jared steps out the meet them, grabbing my arm and dragging me along. We meet halfway on the field. Jessies wearing a jacket, sweats, boots, and a hat. Thats it. Sunshine, I snap, annoyed, Youre going to get sick if you Jessie rolls her eyes at me. I have tights and a body warmer under here, Mom, Im fine. Jeez. I was just saying Jared sends me a warning glance, and says, Okay. Rules and conditions. The other girl speaks up. Rules: the enemy can only be taken out by a snowball in the face, whereupon they have to leave the field instantly without interfering with any other people.

Okay, Jared said, though crap, I have to hit girls in the face? Damn, so much for throwing really hard Conditions. No he makes some vague movements with his hands, his cheeks turning slightly red, and I doubt it was because of the cold. No grabbing, squeezing, stroking, kissing, flirting, or otherwise distracting the enemy into dropping the snowball? Jessie asks innocently. He glares at her. That was really wrong, Jess. She flutters her eyelashes. Her cheeks are bright red, her eyes bright, and its obvious shes dying to start. Why, Jared, it was the only time Eva voluntarily woulda gone within a ten-foot radius of a notorious playboy back then. I was doing you a favor by setting her on you. Jared holds the annoyed face for a moment longer, then gives in and grins. Yeah. But now she not only voluntarily goes within a ten-foot radius, but she stays there. Where is she, anyway? He asks, sounding innocent. Like, Im-just-the-curious-boyfriend kinda curious. Not the, Im-assigned-to-takeher-out-because-shes-got-great-aim-and-I-was-too-possessive-to-letanother-guy-get-near-her kinda curious. Shes over th - oomph! The oomph being courtesy of a hard elbow jab to the stomach. The girl stops and winces. Whoops. Sorry, Jessie. Tricia, Jessie mutters. Shut up. Okay, Jared demurs, with a glint in his eyes. He obviously knows where Eva is. And obviously, Jessie didnt want Jared to know. I wonder what the girls were planning for this yearwell, Ill be finding out soon, wont I? Starting, Jessie said. Well walk back to our groups, face each other, count to ten, and start. She holds out her mittened hand and Jared shakes it formally, and then she grabs Tricias hand, Jared grabs my arm, and we walk quickly back to out groups. There was a lot of scrapping sound as the two teams began packing snow. We faced each other, and both Jessie and Jared chanted together on the top of their lungs, everyone joining in after a few seconds. TennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneGo! All hell broke loose as the two waves of students charged. o0o0o0o0o0o

The girls had the same plan as us. Make the best girls go after the best guys. The air was thick with screams, snow, and people dashing back and forth. The sides of the football field were filled with people whod been gotten out in the initial frenzy, most of them with snow still clinging to their faces. So the result was everyone was chasing after someone, and, on top of stray snowballs, in a surprisingly short time, the people not as good were eliminated and the fastest people were left. I have no idea how many people I got out. Thirty, maybe? Fifty? It soon became a blur. Sometimes I would think that a guy was a girl mean, everyones covered from head to toe in layers and I would barely catch myself in time. Or I would think it was a guy, only to discover it was a girl that had stolen her boyfriends spare jacket and barely get my arm up in time to deflect a handful of snow. I took a few shots at Jessie if I thought I saw her weaving around the crowd, but I never got her. A couple of well-aimed snowballs came my way quite often, which led me to believe that someone had been assigned to me. When I saw who was throwing them when I got a lucky glimpse in the crowd I laughed out loud, distracting a nearby girl into forgetting to duck a snowball headed right for her face. Jessie and I were assigned to each other. Perfect. I glance behind me Jared catches my eye and tilts his head. Eva and Jessie are back to back, laughing as they all but knock out some poor guy who quickly left the field trying to get snow out of his eyes. Jared starts trying to get Eva, but both girls quickly slip into the thick of the crowd thats left and vanish from sight. Jared goes after them instantly, running along the edge off the field to head them off and catch them by surprise, but I let them go and concentrate on sulking around the edges and pretty much picking off random people. Id been in the thick of it for the past hour and I needed a breather. My hands, despite the expensive leather gloves covering them, are cold, but still sweaty at the same time. I stop and duck behind a drift of snow to catch my breath. After a few minutes, I stick my head out, and to my shock, I realize theres only twenty people left, and a few hundred people are ringing the field, screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. As I watch, a distant figure gets hit in the face with a snowball, and Jared throws a snowball and hits Eva in the face. She topples over, and even though theyre too far away to hear, I can see her spluttering as she staggers back and trips. Jared raises his arms in triumph in perfect timing as Jessie, a few yards away, takes

aim and throws the ball as hard as she can. Jared! I yell, but its too late hes out. He looks at Jessie, glares, and hollers out to me, Shes all yours! Take her down! Thats when I realize she and I are the only two people left on the field. o0o0o0o0o0o I grab a handful of snow, and as I pack it, I walk unerringly across the width of the field towards her. She grabs snow and starts to back up, then heads forward, but at an angle, as if shes trying to circle around me. I switch directions and continue walking towards her. Shes got three choices she runs, she attacks, or she surrenders. Surrendering? Please. This is Jessie here. Running? There really is nowhere to run. The field is big, but its only a matter of time before I corner her. So yeah. She attacks. I swear, all I do is blink, and suddenly theres a ball right there. I duck and cover my face with my arm. The snowball hits my arm, but in the process I drop the snowball Id made. I quickly grab more snow, but Jessies already got another one. She throws at me, but it falls apart in midair. My snowball is ready, and I throw it towards her. She ducks it, but looses her balance in the knee-deep snow and falls forward. Egged on by the guys screaming on the sidelines its all up to me - I take the advantage to run towards her, scooping up snow and throwing it at her as she struggles to get up. Unfortunately, I hit everything but her face. Whats the matter, Montgomery? She taunts me, panting, still on her knees, but theres a flicker of nerves on her face there must have been about half the field between us before, and now, its more like... twenty feet. And Im still running through the snow towards her. Am I moving too fast for you? Just wait, Sunshine, I retort with a feral smile. Im about three feet away from her right now. She gets up and, totally surprising me, suddenly lunges forward with a handful of snow. It hits my arm, but what did get me is that she tackled me around the knees. I went down, and she sat on my legs and tried to grind snow in my face. I grab her wrists and shove her off of me, then try to hold

her down, but she squirms away, a huge grin on her face. I think I have one on my face, too, as I dive on top of her, and we tussle viciously in the snow. Dimly, I can hear the hoots and catcalls from the spectators, but Im too busy trying to keep her from getting any snow to think about what we look like. Jessie wiggles hard and gets the upper half of her body out from mine and wrests her arms free with a nifty little twist. I grab her arm again and reach out with my free hand to get some snow. She does the same. We smash a snowball into each others faces At the exact same time. o0o0o0o0o0o So. The guys didnt win, but the girls didnt either. It was an honest-to-God tie. Some person even had brought a video camera, and the movie of our final battle was put onto tape, put into the VCR in the lounge at the boys school, and the debate raged on for ages on whether Jessies snowball had connected before or after mine. Finally, it was declared a truce, and the fight was recorded as the first ever tie in history between Jessica Davidson and Rafael Montgomery. Hah. I made Cooper School history. Thats awesome. It was a long trek back to the girls school with everyone, the sun already having sunk below the horizon. Jared had offered to make his roomie sleep with Brad and give me the bed, but the girls were completely amused by the turn in events so I said it wasnt necessary. Ever optimistic, both schools decided that the other school hadnt won, and that was enough for them. I was busy stripping off my soaking socks when Jessie bounds into the room, and with a shout of laughter, tackles me backwards onto the bed, reaches into her jacket pocket, and pulls out a handful of snow. Talk about a surprise attack. I yelp and twist out the way, and then reverse the positions, grab the snow out of her hands, and shove it down the nape of her neck. She squeals, arches her back, and falls off the bed onto the floor with a thump, yelling, Get it out! Get it out! Shaking with laughter, I pull off her jacket, slip my hands under her clothes, and scrape off the snow that was all over her back. The second I was done, she turns around and glowers at me. You should have been the one screaming.

The way shes standing, I could step forward. She would back up and right against her bed. I could step in front of her, slide my arms around her waist, and catch her lips with mine. I know from experience that one hand would go to the back of my neck while the other one would rest either on my shoulder, and after a minute or so it would slide down till it was resting right over were my heart was beating. She backed up a step. Thats when I realize Id taken one forward. Oops. Im supposed to let her go after me. To cover up the involuntary movement, I keep walking, skirting around Jessie and the bed Jessie and a bed, hmmm, there goes my overactive imagination again and head for the door. Im going to go check my email, I say. I know. I never check my email unless Im supposed to get one from Jessie. Which Im not. But I need to get out of here before I do something and totally fuck up the master plan here. I men, like, shes been back for how many days? And I have how many months left in this school? Jessie better start Operation Seduction soon. o0o0o0o0o0o Perfect timing when I left. Because as I walk out the room, leaving a bewildered Jessie behind, Eva comes up the hallway. Eva I start. She hits me in the arm. Thats for breaking our winning streak, she grumbles, then grabs my arm and pulls me after her as she backtracks to the staircase. Okay. I told Jessie that she needed to come back here because I said something really urgent happened. What did you tell her? She looks shamefaced. I couldnt think of anything, so I kept putting her off. She brightens. I got an idea, though. Im going to tell her that I got real drunk at Jareds over Christmas break and had sex with him! She sounds really proud. Um why is that a bad thing? I ask, genuinely perplexed. If a friend of mine told me that, I wouldnt charge over to them from halfway across the world, just congratulate them. I dont believe in sex before marriage, she answers. Oh! I exclaim. I see! Perfect.

It wasnt until Eva walked into my room until I realized I thought Eva and Jared had done it. Remember, when I called them, and Eva was drunk and Jared was on his way there? Oh, fuck. o0o0o0o0o0o Eva told me about what story shes telling Jessie. You heard it? I try to keep my voice bland. I wish I could talk to Jared face-to-face, but Im not going out in the cold again. Its ten-thirty at night, and I wouldnt make it back sooner than curfew demanded and before frostbite took over. Hence, the cell phone and sitting in the stairwell between the third and fourth floor. Yeah, she told me. Jareds voice is suddenly guarded. Well? Well what? Did you? Did I what? I shift slightly, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard stairs. If he continues like this I think Im going to be sitting here for a while. Did you do what Im implying and youre avoiding? Theres a pause so long I was beginning to wonder if hes hung up on me or something without me hearing the click and blankness that signaled a dead line. Then, I cant fucking remember! Whoa. He cant remember? Thats not good. Thats not good at all. I wince and prod, What do you mean you cant remember? What I mean, is I remember sneaking into my dads study while my family socialized downstairs, found where my parents had hid the keys to the liquor cabinet, knocked back God knows how many vodka shots, and the next thing I know is I wake up totally naked in my bed the next morning with a migraine and Eva next to me! His tone had escalated from nervous to a full-blown panic by the time hed whimpered out the last word. Cant blame him. Id be dead scared, too. Wait. I say quickly. Maybe you guys only made it halfway before passing out. Was she um also you know? I lower my voice as a group of girls clatter up the stairs. They see me sitting there and a few of them squeal,

like five turn bright red, and all wave at me shyly. I grin and wave back. More squeals, and off they run. So cute. But back to the topic on hand. Anyway. So yeah. Was she? I didnt really look, but I think so, Jared admits. I just grabbed some clothes and ran. Crap I mutter. I looked for any blood, didnt see anything, he continues frantically. If you ask me, hes been holding this in for a while. Poor guy must have been writhing in his private hell since vacation. I hadnt picked up on it, either. Damn. Poor dude. But my hair was wet. Hers too. What if wed done it in the shower or something? You were drunk, I remind him. Chances are if youd done so, youd have knocked yourselves out before anything happened it gets mad slippery. Good point. He sounds a bit chirpier than before. Then, his mood swings down again. But what if, still? The carpeting in my dads study is black. What if wed done it there? I wouldnt see any stains! Where were your clothes? I suddenly remember. Um his voice trials off. Right by my bed Okay. So probably not. What did you say to Eva afterwards? I he sighs. I told her Id dumped her fully dressed into my bedroom and slept in the guest room. She looked highly amused, and said okay. In other words I lied to her. Great, I mutter. Oh. Did you see any, er, condoms? Obviously, he hadnt thought of that. Theres this stunned silence, and then, Why the hell did I have to fall for a girl that waits till marriage? Oh, fuck, Montgomery, if Ive knocked her up were screwed! And he abruptly hangs up on me. In that case, you were both already screwed, I mutter under my breath. Who can I talk to here? Ah. Anne. Of course. o0o0o0o0o0o Holy Shit, Diary!

Eva finally told me what happened! She came into my room, started crying, told me shed gotten drunk and slept with Jared no wonder but weird! She seemed so happy mood swings, I guess? Haha. Sounds like shes preg o0o0o0o0o0o Blockhead! Anne yells. Idiotic, the male species, the lot of them! she fixes a murderous glare on me. I wince. Hey. For all you know, Eva was the one that jumped him. Though I doubt it. Anne obviously did, too, because she scoffs and continues pacing the room. Her room, of course, and Id convinced her roomie to ditch homework and go see a movie with a friend, and I paid for it, too. Im cool like that. Shed gone gladly. Go easy on the poor guy She turns on me. If Eva is preggers, Im gonna kill him. Shes all but quivering in anger, her green eyes bright with anger and her hands clenched into small fists. Hah. Tessall be a goner when they meet. Then shell have to shut up bout Jessie. Which reminds methose invitations are still in my bag. You know, the ones for that party. Whoops. Ill dig em out. Later. Like, when there isnt (that much) drama. I need you to find out what happened with Eva. For real. Not whatever cock-and-bull story shell tell Jessie. Or, like, if something happens If she gets her period Anne paces back and forth, worried. She didnt get her period. Shes a week late already Um Ew, and shit. Ill talk to her, Anne bites out, and kicks me out the room. This isnt good, folks. Not that I started thee whole thing by telling Jared about the tattoo or anything nope. Wasnt me. Not my fault. Damn it. o0o0o0o0o0o I ran into Jessie on my way back. She grabbed me by the arm, eyes wide, not saying anything. Whoa, Sunshine! I gasp, startled, grabbing her arm, too. She looks a bit shocked. Whats wrong? Are you okay? What happened? She takes a deep breath. Okay. I know this sound weird but did, I dont know, Jared mention anythingum between him and Eva?

Why? I question, going for the blithe tone, though my stomach drops. She doesnt notice anything odd. She lets go of the death grip she had on my arm, and steps back. Um. No reason She gulps. I have to find Eva. Excuse me. And off she goes, all but running for the staircase. No one found Eva. o0o0o0o0o0o The next day (Saturday), everyone, besides Eva, is tense and quiet. Eva, on the other hand, chats away happily about everything and everything shed crashed in a freshman friends room and theyd gossiped away happily, but no one had known, resulting in a frantic search that curfew ended, as well as some girl saying thoughtfully, Oh, yeah, I saw her go into Sarahs room... At noon during lunch, Jared drags his snow-covered self into the girls school and sat next to us. Everyone glares at him. Except Eva and me, of course. I send him a pitying look. Eva kisses him on the cheek, pauses, looks around at the grim faces, and ventures, Um. Did I, ah, miss something here? Everyone shoots each other panicked glances. No ones had the guts to say anything to her yet. Everyone looks at me, and I get extremely interested on the small crack in the wall. Its about an inch long, and branches out into all these smaller cracks. It looks a bit like a tree. You know, with twigs roots yeah Everyone, me included, stares at Jared. He gulps, stands up. Eva, I need to talk to you in private. Please. She gets up, puzzled. UmOkay Is some- Oh! she gasps, her face tightening as she wraps both arms around her stomach. Oh, ow shit Shit! Jared echoes, his face yeah, you guessed it going pale. Weird. Ive never seen anyone go pale, but this is the third time Ive seen it this year. When Eva bends over, he kneels, grabbing onto her shoulders. Fucking hell, Eva, whats wrong? The pills, she gasps. I forgot to take them! Oh, God, I totally forgot Jareds face is now tinged a bit green. What pills? My period, she moans. I get the worst cramps, and I was late, and I didnt take any painkillers, and I just got itthis is awful

Jareds legs give way under him, and he collapses on the floor. Oh, thank God, he whispers. I look around, and Jessies got a hand clamped over her mouth, and Annes frozen in her seat, a look of utmost relief on her face. Eva sucks in a breath and straightens. Damn it. Im wearing white pants. She gives us perplexed looks. Why is everyone so happy? This really sucks Jared manages to get to his feet, and slid an arm around her shoulder. As I said, we have to talk. And he quickly walks her in the direction of her room. o0o0o0o0o0o I got two phone calls a few hours later. The first one from my dad, who told me hed faxed a request for me to come back home for a personal reason next week. Which was when the ski trip was. He also told me my plane tickets and reservation information was on the way. You better make it worth it, Dad warns me. Your mother will have my head if she finds out. Itll be worthwhile, I reply cheerfully. He coughs. Not like that, Rafael. Be responsible. Uh I drone, reluctant to say that I will be. Have a call on the other line. Gotta go. Love you. And I switch quickly. Yo. Jared. What the hell happened? He laughs shakily. You gotta hear this. Eva remembers everything. We crashed the liquor, and apparently I got a bit nauseous, because Eva dragged me into the bathroom and stuck my head under a cold shower to get rid of the fogginess. I woke up a bit, pulled her partway in. We play fought, got serious, and I passed out. Thats why Eva was so amused the next morning; she thought I as embarrassed about missing the action or something. Christ. Thats it. No more sex for me, ever. That was too scary. He blows out a breath. Really? I arch an eyebrow. Thats really drastic. He must have been scared. Like, really scared. Poor guy. Never had a pregnancy scare myself, thank you very much. Way too careful. And lucky. Well. Maybe later. Okay, scratch that. Definitely later. But not now He pauses. Well. Of course not now. Cant. Obviously. Where are you, now? I ask.

Evas room. She took a few pills, and they made her a bit tired, so she fell asleep. He pauses. She fell asleep in my lap. Hes getting sappy. Haha. Okay. Yeah. Sure. Bye. I hang up. Yikes. o0o0o0o0o0o Dear Diary, Sorry I left off so abruptly I thought Eva was pregnant. Shes not. Shes fine. But, in the process, scared the shit out of everyone for about twelve hours. So shes not a virgin anymore she seems to be taking it okay, now. So Im really happy for her. Still not sure why I had to get back, but if it makes her feel more secure, then okay. I dunno, everyone seems a bit different since I got back. Like, maybe it sounds weird, but I feel like Rafaels name is being dropped into every conversation, no matter how subtly. Normally I would say Eva or someones trying to play matchmaker, but its like everyone. All my friends. Guys and girls. So I guess Rafael has gone from idol to God since I was gone. I think. I dont know. I cant really ask anyone, can I? Packing now. Feel like I just unpacked. Eva lent me the two hundred I needed, I cleared out the bank account, and now Im broke. Hope I dont have to pay for anything soon because I wont be able to. But, I need a vacation. I want one. One without any work. I thought Rafael would be annoyed that I would be leaving, like last time, but hes not. I thought he would be a bit sad, but I guess not. In fact, he seems really happy? I mean, not obviously, but every time the ski trip is brought up, his eyes light up and just about gleam. Which would make me worried. Is he planning something? But what? I think Im getting paranoid. Seducing him really isnt working. I keep chickening out. Eva keeps giving me advice, but it wont work. Im not going to corner him, or wear something skimpy. I mean, it just isnt really mewellokay. I might do it, but holy crap it makes me nervous. I dunno it just seems so personal. I dont know if that makes sense Eva keeps telling me that if I just want to get him, its totally fine and to, at all costs, keep any emotion out of it. Excuse me, but theres the minor problem that my emotions are already in it. Not that Ive fallen or anything. I really havent I swear. I mean, why

would I? I am attracted to him, of course, and he is amusing, really nice (mostly) and yeah. Bt its not the L word or anything Really. Well, Ill go back to packing. And this time, Im, having Eva double check to make sure I bring you with me But Eva did say I should wear something a bit revealing on the last night we have together. She says itll make him think of me when Im gone. Well. I wont have to look at him for like a week and a half afterwards. So why the heck not? Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Batman Returns was a kickass movie; I saw it Friday. Next Friday, that is. Tomorrow, nine in the morning, the planes depart with the students going on the ski trip. Twelve in the morning, the plane is making a special trip with me as the solo passenger. Because, you know, theres a family issue that I need to be home for Everyone went, really; the movie theater was jammed from about three PM on. Saw it at around five with Jared and the gang; when I was leaving, I saw Jessie going with Anne, Eva, and a few guys that she appeared to be friends with; so, of course, I snuck back into the theater using my charm and a lie about losing my phone. I nab a seat nearby Jessie and make sure that there arent any wandering hands. When they finish settling, I realize that Jessies flanked by Anne and Eva. So, satisfied, I leave the theater and catch up with Jared and everyone, and they all roll their eyes at me. What? We fool around the mall for a while, go to the department store, nearly get kicked out by the manager when we tried to try on some bras in the womens section while laughing uproariously, and I get back at around eleven, just in time to make curfew. I wander into the room, and my greeting gets stuck in my throat, bounces around, and comes out as a sort of glug noise. Shes not wearing that slip I got her but she is wearing her jersey. Shes asleep, and what she had done was kick off her covers. The jersey is sliding up her thighs, too. Im still frozen in the doorway, my mind shooting off into twenty different directions, none of them lower than a R17 rating, so lets not get into that, shall we?

I quickly get ready for bed, and slip into bed. A book. Ill read a book now. What book? I grab one off the floor randomly. A few minutes later, I realize Im holding it upside down and am staring at it blankly. Shes supposed to be seducing me. As in, Im not supposed to do anything. I inadvertently glance over at her. She makes a small sound and shifts, turning so shes facing me, the cloth fitting her upper body perfectly. The hem goes up another few inches. Oh, God, shes wearing pink underwear. And I think its silk. And I realize now that shes not wearing a bra, becausewell lets just say its winter, and she doesnt have a blanket on. Shes cold. Comprende? If not, never mind. The point is, I leap up, yank the covers over her, turn off the light, and get back into the air, breathing hard. If it wasnt for the fact that shes not going to get away with that little last minute teasing act, I would be turning the air blue with frustrated curses. Well, extra frustrated, that is. Because, yes, Im cursing just a tiny bit, damn it. o0o0o0o0o0o Its just like when she dashed off to Spain. Except Im not anti social this time as I see the girls of fin the airport. I give Eva a hug, then let go quickly when Jared rams his elbow into my rib. I grin at Jessie and, all friendly-like, give her a quick hug. Have fun. Try not to get buried in any avalanches, okay, Sunshine? She grins. Ill do my best, Raffie. Bummer you cant come If thats not a coy look she just sent me from under her lashes, I dont know what it was. Itll be a real fun trip, hitting the slopes and snuggling around the fireplace roastingmarshmallows. Bummer you cant some. And she gives a saucy little smile and all but saunters onto the plane. Real bummer, I say softly to her back. I glance behind me and gulp when I see Ms. Healthgot looking around. Ive yet to face her after my dad faxed the note: all I had to deal with was her secretary, and that was a piece of cake. Hopefully, Ill be able to get in the plane inhmm three hours? Without getting stopped? Would be nice? Please? Pretty please? Can you believe it? Two hours later, I snuck back to the airport (Ms. Healthgot being tied up in a meeting because Rachel and that girl had once again gotten into a fight over some guy), with only Jared to help me with the lug-

gage and to wave me off. The pilot was waiting for me. Rafael Montgomery? He asks. Yeah. Well be leaving in two minutes. He nods to Jared and boards the small plane. Leaving Jared and I behind, looking at each other. Dont do anything I wouldnt do, Jared says finally. Then he coughs. Actually, scratch that, considering what just happened. Bad idea. Just be careful, you know? And say hi to Jessie for me. Sure, I say, and we grip hands for a moment. Then I remark innocently, Ill give Eva a kiss for you, okay? Because, in case you didnt know, Eva signed up, too. Anne had decided to go on the hike. And it was thus that I walked onto the plane a minute later with, quite possibly, a large bruise forming on my arm. o0o0o0o0o0o This is the shit. Im in the middle of my cabin, and its gorgeous. All glossy floors and big stuffed chairs and long sofas and a big warm bed. My favorite? A huge fireplace. Perfect to curl up next to after a long, hard day of hitting the slopes. When the car my dad hired dropped me off, Id looked around and fallen in love. Great slopes, cold (but not too cold) weather, and adorable log cabins that are bunched together in the valley. Because Im in the mood to make some noise, I go to the excellent sound system and put in Linkin Parks Meteora. I turn up the volume and happily flop over onto a nearby sofa. This totally beats school. And guess what cabin number Im in? Im in number 34. Eva had called me to tell me Jessie and her were in 33. So you know what that means? Were neighbors. Who woulda thought? I love coincidences. And that was actually just pure dumb luck! This was the only one-person cabin left that Dad could rent for me, and it was the most expensive one, too. In fact, Eva had just called me about ten minutes ago to tell me Jessie was in the cabin. All alone. And totally unaware Im next door to her, let alone in the same state. I reach out and turn up the volume even higher. Its bouncing off the walls like crazy, and even I, who like it loud, am beginning to get a headache. I wonder how long Jessiell hold out

Bang! Bang! Bang! Not long indeed because if that isnt Jessie pounding on my door, Ill go celibate for five years in a row. Yo! A familiar peeved voice yells, barely discernable over the noise. Can you turn that down, please? I get up and lower the volume, then walk to the door and open it, revealing a cold breeze, lots of snow, and a shivering, irate figure wearing only jeans and a sweater in front of my door. Sorry about that, Sunshine, I apologize cheekily, staring into her wide, stupefied eyes in wicked delight. Those doe eyes of hers are going to pop out of her head if she opens them any farther. Ill keep it quieter from now on. And I close the door with a snap on her astonished face. It took about three seconds before the pounding started again, and this time it was a lot harder than before. I roll my eyes and wander over to the stereo system and raise the volume back up a bit. Then I lower it again, realizing the futility of trying to ignore Jessie. Knowing her, shed smack that bloody door until the thing splintered or I opened it. Id arrived here late; the suns already set, and quite frankly, I do want some sleep. Hard to sleep with her trying to bulldoze down the door. So I open it, grab her arm, and drag her in, going on offense before she can. Fucking hell, Sunshine. Youll get pneumonia or something if you dont dress properly! I shut the door behind her and glare down at her. Dont you have a jacket with you? She gapes at me soundlessly, then gets out, What are you doing here? Me? Well, I wasnt allowed to go with you girls, because Im a guy, so I came on my own. I smile at her. Did I mention I love snowboarding? She looks around. You have the best cabin, she accuses. Why are you cutting school, how the hell did you get out, and why, on top of that, do you get the biggest place here? Its disgusting! Especially, because youre going to get away with it! And she jabs a finger at me, - dont you dare deny it! I wasnt going to. Im cutting because, well, Im with my family right now with a personal emergency, and I got the biggest place because Im loaded and we all know it. About the place youre welcome to have it. She looks really taken aback, and I can all but see her brain going into overtime with the new information. Really? She sounds utterly flummoxed. You mean, youll let Eva and I stay here and youll sleep in ours?

No Im kinda thinking, Jessie and I can share the bed, and Eva can stay in her own damn cabin, but I quickly modify that plan. You guys can share the bed and I can sleep on one of the sofas. What do you think? Are you bribing me to keep my mouth shut? Is it working? What I think is Jessie didnt hear a word Id just said; I guess it is working. Shes excitedly going into every nook and cranny the cabin has. Oh, my God, your fireplace is huge! And you have two bathrooms! Why the hell would you have two bathrooms? She starts going through the kitchen. They stocked you with food! And they left you flowers! And she opens a small wooden cabinet. Booze! Oh! I didnt see that before. Want some? No, she snaps. Its not to get drunk, its to warm you up on cold days. I roll my eyes. You can do both. Theres enough to go around. Hands on hips, she spins around and glares at me. Rafael Montgomery, are you trying to get me drunk? Trying being the key word there, folks. Of course not, I huff indignantly. Jesus, Sunshine, what type of person do you think I am? Jessie opens her mouth to answer that (rhetorical) question, but then, a moment later, Jessie? Its a bit distant, but obviously Evas voice, and it sounds like shed just walked into the next door cabin. Jessie, where are you? We can sneak around as much as we want someone slipped some sleeping powder into Ms. Kramers drink. So evil. I love it. I walk to the window, open it, and stick my head out. Eva! I hiss. The door to cabin 33 swings open, and Eva pokes her head out, and sees me in the window. Her face cracks into an evil grin. Well, well, well. What are you doing here? In other words: Yes! You made it! Jessies in here. Care to join us? Sure. She walks out of sight, and, a few seconds later, the door opens and she all but runs in. Oh! Its cold! She rubs her arms, shivering. Hey, do you have something warm? I glance at the girls. Both of them are wearing totally inadequate clothing. I sigh. You guys are going to die out here. I turn to my suitcase, and start digging around. What Dad had done was tell my mother it was snowing, and

shed FedEx-ed this huge crate of winter clothes. So I brought all sorts of stuff with me. I dug out a brand-new sweater, and tossed it to Eva. Then I grab my favorite sweater. Its a bit worn, I apologize, But its the warmest one I have. And one of the only sweaters that avoided being doused by Danis bad-smelling perfume. Jessie shakes her head. Nah, Im I turn around to put it back, hear a soft thud, a quiet yelp from Jessie, and then, Um er... actually, yeah. Ill take it. Thanks. I bite back the smile, and hand it to her. She pulls it on. Ooh! Its cuddly! Its a bit big on her; the bottom hits her thighs and the sleeves cover hands, but otherwise its fine shes pretty damn tall. Do you have a television? Eva asks. I look around the room. I dont see any I glance around, and finally see it; its rather large, but in a nitch in the wall. Oh. Its there. I wonder I go over to the bed, and lay down on it. Perfect view. Hotness, I say. Hey, Jessie I look at her, and cant stop the grin. Shes bunched up my sweater in front of her face and is smelling it, the oddest expression on her face. Something wrong, Sunshine? She jumps, eyes shooting to mine with a guilty expression on her face. Oh! No. I was just mean it smelled great. Fine! It smells fine! She subdues when Eva sends her an amused look, blushing slightly. Um nice T.V. Perfect for late night movies. I glance at Eva. Hows your cabin? Crap compared to this. I grin. Well, Jessie and I were just talking maybe you guys can crash in here with me. I can sleep on one of the sofas. Eva understands what Im really saying: If you guys bunk here, without the proctor noticing, and if you make yourself scarce, something will happen. Why, Id love to! Eva says, smiling. Well she glances outside. Its getting rather late, and you just missed dinner. My stomach rumbles. Loudly. Jessie laughs. Hey, Eva, grab some of our stuff, and we can watch a movie here, and sleep over. Angelina probably overdid the sleeping stuff; shes the only person who would have thought to bring sleeping powder with her. Ill see if theres anything to eat in here for Rafael.

She barely finishes the sentence before Evas out of the room like a shot. She looks a bit surprised, then sort of shrugs to herself, glancing at me. I shrug, too. Dont look at me. I have no idea why Evas leaving us alone as much as possible. Im innocent. Totally innocent. Glowing halo right on cue. So food? She rolls her eyes. Youre such a guy. I follow her into the kitchen. Theres something wet soaking into my socks I look down, and make a frustrated noise. What? she asks. Youre barefoot! And tracking water in, but I couldnt care less. She flushes. The music was getting on my nerves. Damn it! I curse, and go back for a pair of socks, finding a big woolen pair. She ignores then when I hold them out, and starts going through the cupboards. With an exasperated sigh, I kneel down and hold out one of the socks. Now, Sunshine. Bad-temperedly, she shoves one bare foot in, and then the other when I hold out the second sock. Happy? Very. You have two different colors of nail polish on. Food? She laughs. Well, theres some beans, spices, tomato sauce, and in the fridge I found a pound of chopped meat and an onion I could make chili, but it would take a while. Hence, dinner would be served at like eleven. Im desperate, I point out, sitting down on the kitchen floor and stretching out my legs in front of me. Ill be your personal slave for an hour if you make me dinner. She pauses in the middle of peeling the onion to stare at me in amazement. An hour? Youre a cheap bastard, Montgomery. How about a day? No, I state flatly. Im not suicidal. She lets out a hoot of laughter. Well, then, Ill make you clean your side of the room when we get back. No! Thats abuse. See why I wouldnt want to do what she wants for a day? Shed probably ask me to help out in some AP physics project about testing the Earths gravity. Cant you see her telling me to jump out the window, while scribbling away on some complex looking worksheet? I can. Thats why I specify, One hour during the trip, only.

Wellfine, she pouts. Oh, God, I have this love/hate thing when she pouts. She looks so damn adorable, and it makes me just want to kiss her, but I cant. I sigh. She turns back to the onion shes chopping. Hey, Montgomery, can you see if theres a largish kinda pot somewhere? I start digging through the lower cabinets, finally locating a large black pot. I tug it out, causing every other pot to crash against one another. Hah! Got it! She grabs it from me, puts it on the stove, and turns on the heat. She dumps the onion in it, all sliced neatly, and then goes into the fridge, pulls out the meat, and dumps that in. Grabbing a long wooden spoon, she hands it to me. Just break up the meat a bit? And put in a chunk of butter. I stab around the pot, feeling a bit dumb. Jessie washes her hands, dries them, and then glances into the pot on her way to explore the fireplace. You do realize youre completely missing the meat I put in, right? Oh, I mumble. I lean forward, and stab at the meat. The steams rising up ow the stupid onion ow pain my eyes... Jessies engrossed in poking at the fireplace and doesnt seem to notice my eyes welling up, so I give up the battle of composure. I drop the spoon and stick my head in the sink, letting water rush over my burning eyes. I yank my head out and dry it quickly with my shirt before she looks up. She looks from my wet shirt to my (probably) red eyes and blinks. What? Never mind. When you see that its browned Browned? What the hell is browned? This isnt in my vocabulary. I cant do this. No! I snap, and back away from the pot. You do it! Oh? She eyes me, at first looking supremely annoyed, and then lets out a whoop of delighted laughter. Yes! She squeals, and does a small victory dance in front of the fireplace. Yes, yes, yes! What? I ask after a moment, annoyed. Gotten a bit sidetracked by the way she was wiggling around like that She stabs a finger at me. You cant cook! You have a tangible flaw! There is something you cant do! This is awesome! She all but sings as Eva finally hauls herself back into the cabin, obviously deciding that weve been alone long enough, dragging bags of toiletries and cosmetics with her, as well as a Jessie stops in mid dance. What is that doing here?

Eva looks down at the confection of satin and lace, and blinks. I found this little slip in the back of your closet back at school. I love it. You should wear it. Whered you get it? Er, no one, Jessie mumbles evasively. Excuse me? I snap. Well, okay. Tessa, Jessie says blandly. You know, Rafaels best friend. I cough. Jessie ignores me. I cough, louder. Fine, Jessie mutters. Rafael got it for me through Tessa. Okay? Okay, I repeat complacently. Oh oh! Oh? Eva glances between us, then grab Jessies arm and drags her into the bathroom. Its dead quiet, broken by rising murmurs from Eva and an occasional, No, I swear I didnt! from Jessie. Swear she didnt what? Wear it? Yeah. I swear she didnt, either. Not that I ever saw her wear it. And whom else would she wear it with if not with me? Yeah, uh-huh, thats the way it is. And you know what? Jessie may be in denial about it, but I havent seen her really hang out with a lot of guys lately, Because she used to go over to Jareds a lot, and Id seen her with other guys, occasionally. Now, true, shes always burying herself up to her eyeballs in homework, but if not, shes either with Anne, Eva, or me. Eva comes out the bathroom, dragging a red-faced Jessie out behind her. I cant wear that, Jessie snaps, grabbing the slip. Eva sighs, and my spirits dipped a bit. I mean I wasnt expecting her to, but, I mean, can you imagine if she did? Im so not going back out there, Eva says with a shiver. Ill go, Jessie volunteers. She never learns, does she? Sunshine, I comment patiently. Youre wearing my socks. You cannot go out into the snow wearing socks. You will get sick. You will ruin your vacation. And mine, too. Well keeping her company while shes sick and unable to kick me out the room cant be the worst thing, but still Then can you please go get me some appropriate PJs? She asks, annoyed.

Sure. Back to the suitcase. I uncover an extra large shirt, and toss it to her. She catches it, frowning. Hey, its a lot more decent then that jersey you wore last night, I accuse quickly before she throws some comment out about it being too revealing. Jessie turns even redder, and Eva looks like she wants to cheer, but holds it back. I guess Evas been dropping a few hints here and there. I did mention I heart her, right? Probably. Okay. Fine. Ill wear it. And she huffs over to the stove, where she tosses in some cans of stuff and random spices. Eva and I look at each other, mystified. I guess cooking isnt in her realm, either. In like an hour, remind me to put in the beans, she announces a few minutes later. Sure, I promise absently. I wander over to my bed and, jumping on it, bounce a few times. Great bed, I decide, sliding a glance towards Jessie. Shes washing up the spoon she used to mix the food, and theres a small tinge of red on her cheekbones. I could have a lot of fun on this thing. (pause) So many possibilities, yknow? The redness intensifies. Eva shoots me a look that clearly says, Stop teasing her! Oh, fine. I drop onto my back and reach for the remote control. Turning on the T.V., I surf through the channels. Nothing interesting. Stupid show stupid show stupid commercial with a tune thatll be in my head for the next ten years dumb show oh, wow, would you look at that! Ew! Eva yelps. Thy have porno on here? Jessie cranes her neck to look at the screen. Oh, gross. Hes ugly. Shes hot, though, I point out. Jessie rolls her eyes. A great body isnt everything. She glances again at the screen. Though I would kill for a butt like that. I like your butt just fine, I rejoin. Change it! Eva shrieks, hands clapped over her eyes. I open my mouth to tease, Virgin eyes? but swallow it down. Whoops. Jessie doesnt know about that. Damn. Shell be annoyed if she finds out Eva lied about that. I flick to the next channel. Ooh! Both Eva and Jessie squeal, as the T.V. shows previews for the next movie that would be shown. Dont change it! Eva orders. Jessie, popcorn! Quick! There has got to be popcorn! Jessie dives back into the cabinets and finds a thing of popcorn. Quickly tearing open the bag, she throws the thing into the microwave and bounces in agitation in front of the machine.

I eye the movie doubtfully. Sunshine, it hasnt even started yet. Oh. She stops, and waits more calmly. Eva climbs up onto the bed next to me and steals the remote. Hah! Mine. What movie is this? Ever After, Eva says, sounding horrified that I wouldnt know it. I dont. I guess its some sort of a chick flick or something. It starts, and I call, Jessie, its starting. Okay, she says. But she doesnt move from the counter. The popcorn is done, and she slowly pours it into the bowl. Jessie? I start, puzzled, but Eva kicks me in the foot and, when I glance at her, she shakes her head warningly. Hmmm? Nothing, I rejoin, confused. Sorry. Never mind. Okay, she says, and checks the chili, then pokes around the kitchen, fiddling around with the stuff on the drying rack, wiping down the spotless counter with a sponge. Im torn between watching the movie and watching Jessie. What the hell? As I watch the movie, the little girl is watching her father ride off. Eva turns down the volume. As I watch the screen, the father suddenly clutches his heart and sags in the saddle, and falls off. The little girl in the movie runs to her father, the stepmother not far behind, the girl sobbing and the wife calling soundlessly. Theres more sappiness and drama, Finally, the scene changes, and theres a close up of Drew Barrymores gorgeous face. Understanding dawns. It reminds Jessie of her father. I think the kitchens clean now, I say quietly. Jessies head jerks up, and she looks at me in surprise, then calculation. I keep my face bland shes probably just guessed that I know. She puts away the sponge, and quietly pads over to the bed and sits down on the edge. I touch her shoulder, then pat the spot next to me. Even with Eva and me already lying down, theres more than enough room. She eyes it, and I shift over to give her more personal space. Gingerly, she lies down next to me, but doesnt touch me.

No worries. She got up in the middle to dump in the beans, and when she came back, she lay down next to me, and I put my arm around her casually. Advertisement comes on, and I poke her. Beans? Something about kidney beans? You wanted me to remind you? Ah, yes. Open the can, and pour it in. Doesnt take a genius. Or a brain. So dont worry. To Eva: Montgomery cant cook. Ah, well. No ones perfect, Eva says wistfully. Jessie giggles, then turns back to me. You really should get your big butt to the kitchen now before the movie starts again. I continue to watch the screen. Montgomery? Im talking to you. I smirk. Sorry. Thought you were talking to someone with a big butt. And Ill be damned if she didnt pinch it when I got up a moment later. I jumped out of my skin (hey, I really hadnt expected it!), and when I turned back to stare at her with disbelief, both girls were avidly watching a commercial with small smiles on their faces. Okay I pour in the kidney beans, stir it around gingerly thought I have to admit, it smells awesome and climb over Jessie to get to my spot in the middle of the bed, warily watching her hands that are innocently folded on her stomach. By the end of the movie her head manages to find its way onto my shoulder. Cute movie, by the way. I enjoyed it. Weve finished off the popcorn, but Im still starving. Jessie? What? Is the food done? She glances at the time. Yeah. There should be enough for like three bowls, so you can save the rest for a later snack. She grabs the shirt Id given her. Eva, if youre serious about crashing here When Eva nods, Jessie shrugs. Okay. Ill change. She goes into the bathroom, and closes the door behind her. A split second later, she opens it again. Dibs on the brown sofa!

Crap, Eva grumbles, and snatches a pillow from my bed and puts it on the dark red sofa, which is a bit more narrow. I was just about to say that. She glances at me, lowers her voice. You wake up early, right? Yeah. Wake us up. Were hitting the slopes first thing this morning, and we need to be back in out cabins as soon as possible. But she looks around, this is so worth waking up early for. When Jessie walks out in the overly large shirt, I decided that its so worth sharing this room, too. Well, that was until they stayed up till like two in the morning giggling and swapping rumors that they wouldnt let me hear. So I ate the chili all alone in bed while they laughed and chatted loud enough to keep me up, but soft enough that staying up really wasnt worth it. Its worse than when my sister used to have sleepovers at least all her friends thought I was the cutest thing ever and I got to sit with them and hear all the interesting girl stuff. (Jessie is cooking for me more often. This chili rocks. I finished it all.) o0o0o0o0o0o I still woke up bright and early despite the lack of sleep. I get up and shake Eva awake. Eva, I hiss. Oh (mumble mumble) Jared (mumble)! No. Not Jared. Rafael. I dont want to know what she was saying. Some things are better left unknown. She sighs and rolls over a bit. Thankfully, the sofas were large or she would have fallen off. Whatdayawaaaaaaaaaant? she moans piteously. I want you to leave so that one, the proctor wont bust me, and two, so I can wake Jessie up. I unceremoniously try to tug her off the sofa. Cmon. You have a long day of skiing ahead of you. She moans, groans, bitches and begs, but after five minutes of pulling at her legs, her death grip on the sofa gives way and she tumbles on the floor. Ow she whines, then glares at me. You ever do that again, Im telling Jessie you made me lie about sleeping with Jared. Whoa. Pulling out the big guns, arent we? I smile real, real nice. Sorry, Eva. But wont you feel so much better when Jessie finally hooks up with me? No more worrying about all that crap

Then I get to worry about her virginity, she mutters. Scooping up her clothing, she marches to the door, and, with one last longing look around, she takes a deep breath, opens the door, and runs out. Two seconds later, she runs back in. There was a snowdrift right in front of your door! She wails. Its c-cold and w-wet! shes already shivering. Im so not slogging through that snow! Eva! She gives me a cool look, then finally sighs. I will give Jessie the biggest pep talk of her life to go after you. I swear. Results should be seen ten minutes after breakfast. Ill corner her there. You just have to do me an itty bitty favor So guess who was forced to give a piggyback ride? Admittedly, I wasnt in the best of moods when I got back to my warm cabin. I went straight to the fireplace, threw on a few logs that were stacked nearby, and went in search of matches. I found them in a kitchen drawer. The fire was really nice, I decide, and pull off my pants so they can dry in front of the fire. Then I go and sit next to Jessies head on the sofa. I squeeze her shoulder. Hey, Sunshine. Rise and shine. Pun not intended. Jessie does not shine after rising. It usually takes her about half an hour to get everything functioning well. She cracks open an eyelid. I think not, she decides in a gravely, sleepheavy voice, and promptly falls back asleep. No problem. I try shaking her. I try dragging her off the sofa. I try tickling. But shes not ticklish. At least I got to cop a small feel. Coffee? No reaction. When giving her a small kiss on the lips doesnt work, I realize theres only one way to get her up at this hour (five AM, if youre wondering.) I pick her up, carry her to the front door, and open it. Ay! She screams, and next thing I know, Im trying to hold my balance and her - while she wiggles all over me, trying to burrow against my body. Cold, cold, cold! Stop! Please! Im awake! I shut the door, carry her to the fireplace, and place her on the floor. There ya go, Sunshine. I smile down at her. She scowls up at me. Hey. Youre awake. Skiing time. Evas already getting ready at the lodge. I shove a bun-

dle of clothes at her. Heres the clothing you wore yesterday. You might want to ch Shes already grabbed them, and gets to her feet. Her well, my shirt that shes wearing - shoots up for a moment in the action and I get a glimpse of white undies with little red hearts all over them. Gulp. Can I use your shower? she asks over her shoulder. Like Im going to say no? Wait, let me make sure the towels are in there. I brush past her. theres a basket for laundry I have a shirt in there already and two towels. A very large one, and a kinda small one. Jessies tapping her foot impatiently outside, so I grab the big one and hide it under my shirt in the laundry basket. Haha. o0o0o0o0o0o The whole cabin seems to be filled with steam. Shes going to use up all the hot water. Sure enough, theres a small shriek, a banging noise, and then the sound of the water being turned off. I knock on the bathroom door. Hey, Sunshine, you okay? It came out more like, hey, thunnweine, ou othay? due to the fact that I am eating breakfast. Yeah, gasp, Im eating breakfast. Dunno why. I usually dont but I daresay I make up for it at lunch and dinner. I know how to cook enough to myself adequately, thank you very much. Its hard to go wrong dialing a restaurants number or putting bread into the toaster. Except for this one time, I kinda turned on the heat really high and the bread piece turned black and started smoking but thats beside the point. Cold water! she explains through the door. Crap. I left my clothes outside. And the next thing I know, before I can offer to get them (or pretend I didnt hear her say that so I can get another glimpse of her in a towel) she barges out. The reason I had a small problem momentarily with swallowing is because all shes wearing is a blush and a small towel. Very small towel. You know, I could have sworn there was a larger one in there. I wonder what happened to it? I smirk to myself. So Im helping her seduce me. Thats doing her a favor. And I get the perks.

It was the only towel in there, she mutters. She glares at me. Check me out one more time and Ill shove this towel down your throat. Be my guest. It would be worth it, cause shed have to remove the towel first. Seeing Jessie naked of her own (annoyance-driven) consent is worth trying to breathe around a towel for a few seconds. After I get dressed. Oh. Never mind, then. She goes back into the bathroom. Montgomery! She shouts a minute later. What, Sunshine? I ask patiently. She s taking forever to get dressed. I need to get dressed. How long does it take to pull on some pieces of cloth? She finally comes out. You should get ready, she accuses. And how are you going to keep yourself from getting caught? One: You were in the bathroom. Two: I have glasses that keep the reflections from the snow out of my eyes. Also, Im sure none of the girls will recognize me if I keep my distance, right? Wrong. o0o0o0o0o0o Dear Diary, Guess whos in the cabin next to ours? Hint: HE is cutting school, is probably lying to Ms. Healthgot, and gave me an old sweater that I refuse to give back because it smells like him. Yes, Rafael. At this point, I dont even want to know what hes doing here. All I care about is he got the best cabin, with three sofas, a color T.V. a stock of food, kitchen, a large bed, two nice bathrooms, one with a big hot shower, and the manners to let Eva and me crash in the luxury. All our cabin has is a small fireplace, a double bed, and a shower that likes to run out of hot water. So does his, but it takes longer. The only thing is, how the hell is he going to ski without every girl from this school flipping when they see him? Yeah, we lucked out with one proctor because the other one managed to miss the plane. I still dont know why; Evall call Jared for the deets later today. Its still like quarter to six. In the morning. But its nice I pretended to stay asleep when Rafael tried to wake

me up. And he kissed me! On the lips! True, after that he carried me to the front door and opened it, but I got to squirm around a lot. God, hes lucked out in the gene pool for that body. Hes lucked out in everything. A real golden boy, I guess. I wonder if hes good at snowboarding. Probably. I dont mind. Because he cant cook. And I can. Hah. I went to visit the drama teacher, because its really messed up that they just had to hold auditions when I wasnt there. So, she told me that Id have to do the audition right there and then. So, I did. Without any preparation and the script in one hand. I was crap at first; but once I warmed up I think I did pretty damn good. I really really hope I get it. But then again, there are a lot of talented kids in my class, so maybe its futile to hope Met a really nice guy here. We were on a ski lift together. Hope to see more of him. Not like that or anything just friendly, you know? I wonder if Rafael would notice. Probably not. Or maybe I dont give him enough credit with how much he sees Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o I left my cabin alone; when Id stepped under the icy cold shower I couldnt help but curse at the top of my lungs at the sensation of liquid ice hitting my whole body after Id gotten used to all the lovely warm, scented steam. Jessie had cracked up, and left in a hurry. Shed taken my sweater, too, something I discover when I dash out with the large towel around my waist. Ah, well, it had been nice while it lasted, but Id kinda figured when she smelled it with that odd look on her face that I would probably never get it back. So I pull on some other clothes and head out the door. A girl walks within a foot of me, smiles, walks on, and does such a double take she slips in the snow and almost falls. Oh my God! Rafael! Well, fuck a duck. Ive taken five steps out my cabin, am under three layers of clothes, sunglasses, a headband, and a senior from school is staring at me in total shock and recognition. I smile falsely and wave. Hey. Im not supposed to be here. So keep it quiet, will you? She makes a small squeaking noise.

Crap. I recognize her. Gossip Central. Um just dont tell the proctor, will ya? Or anyone back at school, please. And I walk quickly to the rental area. Hmmm. Skis or... snowboard? Definitely snowboarding. Gossip Queen (Millie, I believe) dashes into the rental room after me. What are you doing here? She squeals, seeming more interested in the expensive jacket that was tailored to fit my torso perfectly than my sunglasses. Though I have to admit, it shows off my shoulders really well. Howd you know it was me? The thick blond hair the perfect body the unmistakably overwhelming masculine aura only I have She points to my forehead. The bruise. And theres that, too. The bruise is currently a greenish/ yellow color, but its going away very quickly, much to my relief, the nurses surprise, and Jessies chagrin. Its like, jeez, God forbid I look flawless again. Im going to breakfast now, with everyone else. Wanna come? Im not really in the mood to face all the girls right now. In fact, I think I should just lay low the first day. I cant be caught by the proctor, I remind her. If I do, Im screwed. Her face falls. Well well see you later? Of course, I say with a smile, chucking her under the chin. She blushes and quickly runs out the door while I go back to getting my stuff. o0o0o0o0o0o Of course, it figures that the second Im near the slopes, I suddenly really have to pee. My cabin is too far away for me to make it, so, resigned, I start towards the small diner. Im pulling open the door when I register the large groups of teenagers. Especially the ones that are sitting in the corner. Cooper girls. Crap. Their proctor, a rigid looking woman Ive seen around school a few times, is sitting with her back to me. Im considering racing back to my cabin (because Im definitely not baring any precious body parts behind a tree in this weather) when Eva sees me. I make a slashing movement across my throat. Ooh! She squeals, pointing out the window. Was that a deer? Everyones heads swivel to the window. I dart to the bathroom, bumping into a girl getting up. Sorry, I say hastily, and nearly weep in relief when I get into the mens bathroom.

A minute later, Im done. Now how do I get out? I crack open the door, but theres no way to make sure that no ones watching me. Damn it. I wanted to stay undetected then again, Millie had already seen me. I start to push open the door, when two girls walk past, and stop right by the door. So. Its Eva, and she sounds a bit smug. So, what? Jessies annoyed voice. Why did you drag me here? So I can talk to you in private for a moment. Jessie. You have unlimited access to your true loves room. You are going to do something, right? Eva sounds incredibly patronizing. When I find my true love, Ill be sure to get that little slip you wanted me to wear and go give him a private lap dance, but until then, Ill settle for using Rafaels shower, thank you very much. Woot. Piqued, anyone? (You know, I really dont like the idea of Jessie wearing the slip I gave her for someone else.) (She can lap dance?) Eva snickers, totally unfazed by Jessies angry tone. I see. The only reason you stay over there is for his hot water. Er I cant see her, but Im pretty damn certain that Jessies face just went totally blank. I meancmon, Eva. Seriously. A pause. Dont look like that. Youre acting like Montgomery when you raise your eyebrow like that. Stop it. Hmmm. Patient is constantly reminded of guy by small irrelevant movements, facial expressions, and tones. Subject also turns bright red whenever other girls check him out or try to catch his attention by Ow! (Its a safe bet to say Eva just got socked in the arm.) Jeez, Eva whimpers forlornly. I was just teasing you! Sure, Jessie snaps. Jessie, Eva says seriously, Please. Cut everyone some slack. Hes totally into you. I know it. He knows it. Every Cooper girl knows it. Every Cooper guy knows it. I mean, have you noticed the total lack of guys, besides Brad, hitting on you, and the decrease in girls hitting on Rafael? He doesnt even notice them!

But Jessie starts, sounding as forlorn as Eva had. He said Damn, girl, were you born yesterday? Of course he said! Hes probably sick and tired of getting hurt by you! Dead silence. Jessie. One try. Rafaels not the type to She trails off. I wince. She was probably going to say, the type to spread rumors about you. Which Im not, but I doubt Jessie needs reminding about that whole, er, thing where everyone thought wed slept together. He wont play with you, Jessie. I mean, has he ever deliberately hurt your feelings, threatened you physically, or in any way made you feel unsafe? In a violent way, that is, she adds quickly, before Jessie can say that yes, indeed, Ive made her feel threatened every time I catch her wearing nothing but a towel. No Jessie stretches out reluctantly. Well, then. Fine, Jessie finally relents. But if he laughs at me, Im crawling under a rock and never coming out again. Okay? Okay, Eva says relieved. Because she knows Im not going to laugh, because she knows Ive been listening in on the whole thing. Oh, and Jessie? Yeah? Glad to know youve finally found a guy you think is worth it. Oh, shut up, Jessie mutters, sounding mortified. Just because Ive never gone after a guy before in my her voice trails off as then go back to their table. I ease away from the door and breathe out. Well. That was fun. Now. How to get out? If I just leave now, Jessies probably going to do the math that me coming out of the bathroom plus the fact she just had a heart-toheart talk with Eva a foot away equals me hearing the whole conversation. So I sit down and wait for a few minutes. Then, deciding it was long enough, I saunter out the bathroom, taking off the shades; I mean, its not like they were hiding the bruise, anyway. The girl I bumped into is staring at me, entranced, but I ignore her, because Im focused on my girls. (Yeah, my girls. Because, I mean, come on. They are.) Im sure Millies blabbed. Making sure she isnt looking, I walk right past the proctor. Every girl in the corner falls silent, and most of their mouths fall open. Jessies included. I wink at them. I shoot Jessie a long, hot stare. And then I swagger out the door.

o0o0o0o0o0o Snowboard in hand, Im walking towards the base of the slopes when someone grabs me from behind by the back of my collar. My spine arches and I yell when something incredibly cold slides down my back. I feel my whole body shudder convulsively as I spin around to face the culprit. Of course. I should have known. Made you scream, Jessie grins impishly, wagging one of her ski poles at me. Payback for this mornings wake up call. I reach out and, snatching it away from her, I hit an overhanging branch. She yells and covers her heads with her arms when the large chunks of snow collapse from the tree on top of her head. No! she shrieks, and tackles me to the ground, slamming both of us into a snowdrift. I spit out a mouthful of snow. Gotcha, Sunshine. I got you, too, she points out, miffed. In fact, I just got you again. I casually run my hands up and down her arm. She blinks. I smile up at her, grip, and shove. She topples off of me and lands somewhere with a small cry of surprise. I sit up, feeling satisfied as I look at where shed landed. Right into another snow bank, I see. Having snow banks all around is really useful. Cant miss em. She struggles to sit up. Montgomery. This sucks. I cant do anything to you. You get me back. You take all the fun out of life. I hold out a hand to help her to her feet, and, because I was expecting it, I let her jerk me down next to her and easily break my fall. She turns her head and scowls at me. You let me do that. I smile at her, absently brushing a snowy lock of hair out of her face. I thought you didnt like me sucking all the fun out of life. We must have looked pretty dumb, covered in snow, and surrounded by ruined snow banks. Well she leans in an inch closer. Maybe Ill find a new way to have fun. No moving in no moving in no moving in no moving in no moving in no moving in no moving in no moving in Holy shit, Evas pep talk this morning penetrated her thick skull. Thank God. Oh, really? My voice sounds a bit more hoarse than usual. I glance at her hands, and I try not to smile when I see that one of them is clenched in a fist on her jacket hem. Nervous? Jessie, your friends are going to be looking for you soon. We should I trail off.

Even though shes staring at my lips, I really doubt its because shes paying attention to whatever Im saying. She looks back up at me, and theres a look in her eyes that tells me if I dont move my butt soon, theres going to be some melting snow around here soon. So when she leans in towards me, I scramble to my feet, putting a look of uncertainty on my face. Jessie She gets to her feet, too, looking a bit flushed. But its not with embarrassment anymore; its with exhilaration. Shes enjoying herself a lot, now. Scared, Raffie? My eyes narrow. I can feel it. Im not scared of anyone, Jessica. I turn around and start walking off towards the slopes. Then why wont you kiss me? she taunts. Interesting. It seems like Im the only one around here that wants thrills. Ah, well, and I can tell in her voice that she just shrugged her shoulders. It sinks in a minute later. Thrills? I spin around. Sure enough, Jessies put on her skis and shes headed right for the ski lift that brings you to the top of the last trail I want to see her go on: the Black Diamond. I race after her, almost slipping once, but regaining my footing quickly. Shes still a bit ahead of me, and because its pretty damn early, most people and students are still still eating breakfast. Hence, no witnesses. Jessie! Damn it, Sunshine, what the hell are you doing? She ignores me, and gets onto the next ski lift seat. Just in time, I grab onto the armrest and scramble up next to her. She looks at me, scowling. Shouldnt you be warming up on the beginners slope? Probably. But Im not admitting that. The last time I snowboarded was well, last winter. Shouldnt you be? She waves airily. If theres anything Im good at, its skiing. Damn. Shes better at skiing than, academics, lets say? Thats gross. I scowl at her. I bet I could beat you down to the bottom. Were passing over the trail, and I lick my lips nervously. That trail looks really steep and Im out of practice but for me, snowboardings like, I guess you can say, riding a bike or having sex. Cant really forget how to do both properly no matter how long youve abstained from either activity.

Deal, she says instantly. Then, Ah what are we betting? I blink, acting confused. Nothing, really. Figure of speech. Were nearing the top. Loser has to bring breakfast for the winner. In bed. Shed tacked on the last bit way too innocently. I shoot her a look. Shes got this cool little smile playing on her lips. I glance at her hand; her fingers are nervously playing with the armrest. Okay shes up to something so, do I win, or purposely lose? Win. Hell yeah. Maybe shell have to hand feed me, too, if Im too tired. Who knows? Weve reached the top, and there are a few other people, but theyre far below. Jessie jumps nimbly off the seat, and I walk to the general edge of the slope, then bend down to get everything ready. When I look back up, Jessie is slowly polling her way wards me. Okay. Rules. No shortcuts, knocking into or cutting off the other person. Ready? she asks. Set I shift my weight and Im off, leaving behind a spray of snow and a cursing Jessie. She never said no cheating, did she? Blessed loopholes. o0o0o0o0o0o The finishing point is only about a minute away, and I take the time to gleefully reflect on my performance. It was perfect. No falling over, no tumbles, and every time I look behind me, Jessies in my wake. Something catches my eye, and I turn my head. No. Fucking. Way. Jessie smirks at me. As in, shes right next to me. When the hell did she catch up? After that little satisfied smile, she turns her attention back to the finishing point, bending over so that shell have the least possible air resistance. I lean hard on the boardcome oncome on but somehow, shes inching ahead of me, and no matter how hard I try She beats me by a full body length. I let the board slow down on its own in the level clearing, then stop abruptly. Jessie stops near me, and (its on purpose, I swear) sends up a spray of

snow similar to the one Id left behind at the beginning of the race. Difference? Hers splatters snow over me from head to toe. Im pretty sure my mouth is hanging open in disbelief. I mean, sure, Jessie can beat me any day in the classroom (because I dont try, of course) but she beat me in a sport? Maybe Im sleeping. Well, if I had been, then most certainly Id be awake now. No one would have been able to sleep through that victory yell. Yes! She hoots. You lost! Bow down, Montgomery! I dont bow down, but I resist flipping the bird at her. That counts for something, right? You know what it is? Im overtired. Maybe if youd stopped gossiping, I would have had a good nights rest and beaten you like I should have, I sulk. Oh man, this race the cooking damn it, she doesnt think Im actually going to cook for her, right? I mean, eating anything in the kitchen made by me has a hundred percent guarantee of making your stomach a bit queasy. Even I dont trust some of the stuff I come up with She grins at me, not at all fazed. Rafael, darling, she coos. I really wouldnt talk about cheating unless you want me to shove this pole up your She pauses. But I forgive you, just because Im nice and youre the inferior skier. Inferior my butt. Victim of circumstance. Also, she continues, still hale and hearty despite the death glares my ego and I are shooting her way, I would say youd have to cook my breakfast personally, but I dont have a death wish. Get it at the breakfast place. Something like pancakes. With lots and lots of syrup. And butter. Her eyes glaze slightly. Cant blame her. Id be getting a bit hungry myself if I hadnt been so annoyed. Fine, I say stiffly. Name the day and Ill get you your stupid pancakes. Youre paying for them too, O Rich One! She yells at my retreating back. Cheapskate. o0o0o0o0o0o Heya Diary! I beat Rafael! Race down the mountain. And now he has to serve me breakfast in bed. Cant believe I added that location to the bet but I did! And I

said it coolly, too! True, my stomach was one huge knot the whole time, but Rafael has NO idea that I was all nervous. Even when I tried to kiss him! Well, okay. Id just been testing him. If he hadnt pulled away, I would have. I thought that I would be dead embarrassed that hed been the one to retreat; maybe he didnt want that? But his eyes had turned that really deep blue color they always become when hes really pissed or turned on. POE. Haha. But somehow, Millie saw him, and she told everyone else. Well, that is, she decided to tell us after he walked past our table at breakfast. After he walked out the door there was this mad dash to get up, but our proctor started screaming at us she hadnt seen Rafael, as her back had been to him, but I told her I had to get something from my cabin so she let me go. Perks of being a Teachers Pet I had him all to myself for the day he kept to the advanced slopes and did his best to avoid being cornered by anyone. I stayed away after that, but the girls are planning a little surprise party for him tonight, and I wouldnt miss that for the world. Jessie Ps. I guess I got used to it in Cooper, but every girl in the restaurant all about drooled when he walked towards their table, next to their table, and then past their table. Disgusting. o0o0o0o0o0o Theres a knocking noise on the door. I glance at the time. Its eleven. Id heard their proctor yelling at everyone to go to bed and turn the lights out; hence, Jessie and Eva had just snuck out. Or maybe, Eva said she didnt want to go, and Jessie came alone. And, since its just the two of us in the cozy cabin, with the swirling snow outside the window, and My brain cheerfully takes off from that point. Which is why when, I swing the door open, it takes a moment to register whats out there. And when it does, its too late to slam the door and pretend to be someone else. Heya, Montgomery, Jessie says innocently. Hi, Rafael! Every other girl on the school trip choruses. missing 25 To keep it steaming hot, the breakfast was put in an expensive container that not only kept in the heat, but the smell. Which was a good thing, I guess, because if Id smelled this earlier, I probably would have hogged the pancakes to myself. I mean, honestly. There wasnt any maple syrup, but

who needed maple syrup when there were lots of rich chocolate pieces and mounds of light, sweet whipped cream? Oh, great. Im salivating again. I pick up the plate and gingerly carry it over to the bed. The plates freaking hot, and it was a relief to drop it on the bed near her and sit cross-legged next to it. Jessies sleeping peacefully, and Im really hungry. You know, I should just try one teeny-weenie bite. Just to makes sure its not too hot. So I take a bite. And holy shit. Those have to be the best chocolate chip pancakes ever. I mean its light and fluffy, and the chocolate is I think its a bit bitter, but it just makes the taste deeper and luxurious. You know, I didnt try it with whipped cream. I really should try a bite with whipped cream. So I do. (Excuse me. Ive died and gone to Heaven.) Do I really have to give this to Jessie? Thus I think it is a show of deep commitment and endurance that I only sneak three or so more bites to myself before taking yet another piece and waving it under Jessies nose. She mumbles, shifts, and stays asleep. I wave it again. Her eyelids flicker, and her breathing lightens up as she starts to wake up. Another pass, and her eyes crack open and blearily land on my face, and then the food. Is that chocolate? Her voice is low and cracks a few times, but its easy to discern the word chocolate from the wonder with which she says it. Yup. Her eyelids open even more as she struggles to focus on what Im waving under her nose. Thats chocolate. For me? No, I reply with false indignity. Its for me. I put the piece and chew it while her eyes bug out in complete horror. Oh, man this is the shit. When she opens her mouth probably to curse me out I take advantage and lip in a large piece of pancake. And, wonders of wonders, she shuts up and chews. Well, that was effective. Ill have to make a mental note of that: chocolate plus Jessies mouth equals peace and quiet. Now thats math I could learn to appreciate.

She swallows, a small blissful smile already forming on her face. I think Ive died and gone to Heaven. Great food, soft bed, and a warm cabin in the middle of a ski resort. What more could I want? Hint, hint. Oh, right. Cant forget the blonde sex god. Yeah. Definitely. Open up. I pop in another bite, then, just to make sure she wont get sick eating it all, I help myself to a big mouthful. Delicious. Delectable. Orgasmic. Scrumptious. Luscious. Enchanting. Enchanting? Jessie sounds highly amused about something. Whats enchanting? I dont know. You just sounded like you ate a thesaurus instead of some pancakes. She grins. Not that I blame you. Mmm. I cant think of anything else to say that wont make me sound even more idiotic already. Not that I sound like an idiot a lot; its pretty damn rare, come to think of it. And if you disagree, well, shut up. I quickly cut another piece, lean over to give it to her at the same time she reaches up to Im guessing to swipe a strand of hair out of her face or something, because it never made it there. Our arms collide, and the whipped cream splatters on my hand. We both freeze. Remember the last time whipped cream got involved? Because both my brains certainly do. Jessie gives a nervous laugh. Heh. Dj vu? Hell, yeah. She wipes off some traces with her fingers, and then licks them off. I think shes deliberately curling her tongue around her fingers like that. Because its definitely giving me other images, shall we say? Jessie cocks her head to the side and gives me an innocent look. Penny for your thoughts. Censored or uncensored?

She laughs even as a telltale color begins to spread along her cheeks. How about uncensored? So I do. And it takes her about twenty seconds before she puts a hand over my mouth, her face scarlet. Jesus. Stop. Stop. I get the idea. She shivers lightly, something I can feel because Im pressing against her. Maybe youre all show and no go, but I have to admit you have a helluva show. Oh, screw the pancakes. I pick up the plate deftly and dumped it onto a nearby bedside table, where it rattled loudly. I lean over her and, letting my tongue whisper along the outer rim of her ear, I murmur, No go? Okay. I lied. All go. That tickles! she squirmed away, but was still under the heavy blankets, whereas I had no problem moving around. With a grin, I straddle her body, leaning forward to place my forearms on either side of her head. If shed had longer hair I could have pinned her down better, but this was working just fine, especially because she didnt try to avoid the kiss. My heart was thudding loudly, and all I could do was alternate between thanking God for this cabin and bitching at Him because of the disgustingly thick covers. I mean, Even when Im lying on top of her can I barely feel the more subtle curves of her body. Not fair. But when I try to tug the blanket away, it wont move. What the! I curse in confusion. Youre lying on top of it, idiot, Jessie snickers (idiot? No, Im just not thinking straight, thank you very much), and waits till Ive rolled on my side before kicking the blanket off. You know, I knew there was a reason that I Knock, knock, knock. No. Noooo. Noooooooo. Dont do this! Whoever is in here, perhaps you know where Ms. Davidson is? Came an annoyed and familiar voice. Oh, joy; its the effing proctor. If you dont come out here, young man, Ill have to go to the front desk. Is it registered under your name? Jessie whispers. Shit, what do we do? My face says the answer. My pointed look towards the windows says the solution. Its cold, Jessie moans under her breath, but gamely grabs a hold of my outstretched hand as we tiptoe towards the window. It opens without a sound, and I put my arms around her waist and boost her up, though judging by the solid muscle underneath my hands, she probably didnt need the

help. She rolls out the window soundlessly until she gives a small yelp. The snow, I think with an amused grin, and, gritting my teeth, follow her out. Poor girl only has a large shirt on, while Im fully dressed. I land in the snow next to her. Jessies staring past me with a deer-in-theheadlights look in her eyes, and I glance over my shoulder. Yip-dee-do, guess whos leaning against the corner? No, not the proctor thankfully, but this isnt great, either. Hey, Mariana. She doesnt say anything to me, just fixes Jessie with a malevolent stare. Jessie swallows. What? Her voice, in contrast with the nerves on her face, is quiet, cool, and as effective as a bitch-slap. Mariana rakes us over with one last glare and then turns on the heel of her expensive boots and stalks off. One down, one more to fool, Jessie says to herself, and runs barefoot across the snow into her own cabin. As she swings the door open, I hear a startled comment from Eva that ends as she door shuts silently. A moment later she sticks her head out the window facing my cabin and calls out, Ms. Kramer! If youre looking for she obviously blanks out on my faux name. Um, Kevin, he decided to hit the slopes nice and early. I saw him leaving when I came back with my breakfast. Oh! I hear the proctor exclaim. Im sorry, I didnt see you in your cabin and I thought her voice was coming closer, and that was my cue to jump right back into the room and close the window behind me. Just in time, as the proctor came into view a second later, chatted with Jessie, and then left to check up on the others. You know, sometimes I feel like any time I get with Jessie lately gets interrupted. But that means its time to hit the slopes because I want to get some exercise and I start looking around for my normal layers of hats, scarves, and gloves to makes sure that no one else will recognize who I am. Though I do suspect that the proctor is the only one that doesnt know. 0o0o0o0o0o Hey, Eva falls into pace behind me. Almost didnt recognize you. Good. If you dont, then the proctor probably wont either. Wheres Jessie? Anyone ever tell you that you have a one-track mind? she comments, sounding a bit exasperated.

On what? Not getting busted by the proctor? Obviously, I reply sarcastically. If Im caught, Im dead. Wheres Jessie? She stares at me, and then seems to give up on something. Skiing somewhere. Im distracted by several cries of alarm. I look at the slope just in time to see two skiers collide. Both of them fall over instantly and tumble down the slope a bit in a jumble of limbs while nearby people rush to surround them. I wince. Smart people. Eva chuckles. Yeah. That redhead just smashed into that other person on purpose. Catfight on skies, if you ask me. Redhead? Wonder if its Mariana. I dont particularly care. One of the Cooper girls, Claire, goes skidding past us and slips. I catch her and steady her. Whoa. Slow down. Whats the rush? She pulls away quickly, staring at me with shocked hazel eyes. That was your girlfriend who just went down, Rafael! My exact thoughts: What? I dont have a oh, fuck, fuck, fuck o0o0o0o0o0o Its all your fault, was the first thing out of Jessies mouth when I kneel next to her in the snow. Her hats fallen off and her hair is spread out in the snow in all of its short glory. She thinks Im dating you for some reason. Some reason? I joke, but theres a hot fist of anger in my gut. Marianas sitting up several yards away, clutching her arm. From the way shes holding it, as well as the weird angle its at, Id say it was broken. She sees me looking at her and her eyes well with pitiable tears. Then she looks at Jessie, and the tears vanish into one of total hatred. Jessie, amazingly enough, sees the look, puts a hand on my thigh, squeezes, and sticks her tongue out. Sunshine, I admonish, but try as I might, I cant keep the smile off my face. How old are you again? She grins at me. Just lowering myself to her standards. Oh, yeah, Im fine, she quickly assures the people around us. Just got the wind knocked out of me. Just need a minute to get it back.

You should sue her, an older woman declares indignantly. I saw the whole thing. She was aiming for you the whole time. She was trying to crash into you. I daresay she may have even wanted to hurt you! (No shit, Sherlock) Im sure she had a few other goals, Jessie murmurs. Well, the woman continues, At least you have a nice, strong, handsome young man to carry you back to your cabin. And she smiles at me while fluttering eyelashes so caked with mascara that its practically a solid black wall coming out of her eyelids. I smile sweetly back. Then start to scoop Jessie up. Dont pick me up! Jessie orders. I can walk by myself! The older woman blinks in shock. A windy sigh that sounds like its from Eva comes from somewhere behind me. A nearby girl I dont know gives Jessie a look that all but screams that she thinks Jessie should be checked into the nearest funny farm. Jessie, totally oblivious to the reactions, tries to get up, then winces and flops back down. I think I no! she clamps a hand over my mouth when she sees Im about to yell for a doctor or something. She just landed on my back at some point. I just need to lay down. She shifts uncomfortably on the snowy ground, which is my cue to ignore her stubbornness. Okay, I respond cheerfully, and stand up, ignoring her half-hearted jab, and start to carry her. You dont need to carry me. Seriously. Okay. That means you can put me down. Okay. I continue trudging on. Cause its true that I can put her down, but I dont want to. She heaves a loud, exasperated sigh, and obviously decides its futile to argue with me. Not that she doesnt give it another go a minute later. My cabin. Not your cabin.

Mi casa es tu casa, I tell her. Its not a house, its a cabin. And the proctors gonna be looking for me, because if Im hurt, then shes liable. Im surprised she hasnt come rushing to my place yet, she chatters as I shoulder her cabin door open yes, Jessies, because she does have a point there and settle her comfortably on the rather thin mattress. Rafael? Yeah? You might want to climb through the window. Huh? Ms. Kramerll be in here in about twenty-two seconds despite Eva all but hanging onto her arm. Crap. I dont hesitate; just push open the window and gracefully climb out, only to not-so-gracefully catch my foot on the sill and fall into the snow below headfirst. Thank God that Jessie was lying down so that she couldnt see that. I get up, try to brush off the snow clumped in my hair, and then glance up when I hear voices. I told her not to do it, one whines. I mean, for some reason he really likes her. Figures the best ones are always lost to girls like that. I know, right? I mean, he can do so much better, another voice continues, but trail off when they come around the corner of a nearby cabin and see me standing there, obviously listening to every word. Well, well, well. If it isnt Marianas friends. You think I can do better than Jessie? I ask. They dont say anything. Maybe I can, I lie, but I sure as hell havent seen her yet. One of them gives this part angry, part horrified squeak, and then they stalk off as well as they can in the knee-deep snow. Of course, being really pissed at me, I notice as I turn to watch them go, doesnt stop them from checking out my butt when they walk past me. Females. o0o0o0o0o0o

Its our last evening here. The girls leave disgustingly early tomorrow. Me? Ill sleep in till like twelve and then get a nice limo ride to the airport and go back first class. Being rich sure has its perks. Jessies perfectly fine except for a sore back, even though Mariana had to be airlifted to a nearby hospital because of her broken arm. Which, if you ask me, wont teach her a lesson (girls like that never learn) but it sure as hell is a relief for the rest of us who had to deal with her. It took three hours straight of badgering (which I had to put up with, courtesy of open windows) but Ms. Kramer is now completely convinced that Jessie is fine, which is why shes able to be sitting next to me right now in my cabin. Evas quietly talking to Jared on the phone on my bed well, she was, I think its possible shes fallen asleep because theres no noise coming from her - and me and Jessie are in front of the fireplace, contemplating the fire in a comfortable silence. The vodka was uncapped and next to my hand, but I was the only one whod had any. Jessie had declined with a look on her face that clearly told me that if I did get her to drink any, the results would kick ass. Now how do I get her to drink it? Jessie sends another longing gaze at the alcohol. Um, is that strong? No, I lie with an annoyed face. I thought it would be. Oh. Shes silent for a moment. Can I have some? Yes! Yes! Drink it all! This is gonna be fun! Yeah. Sure. I pass it over to her. Do you want a glass? Nah and with that she takes a nice, long swallow straight from the bottle, which ends in spluttering the moment she registers that, au contraire, it is strong. Crap! You said it was weak! Compared to what? I laugh. Its not that bad. She pauses for a moment, head cocked to one side. Mmm. True. I love it when you get that warm feeling in your stomach. Not that I drink a lot. Its not good for you. Did you know that alcohol mostly affects nerve cells within the brain? Its cause it messes with communication between nerve cells and all other cells. She bites her lip, trying to remember. It stifles the abilities of excitatory nerve pathways and increasing the activities of inhibitory nerve pathways. I think. Is that right? I blink. Um yes? Sure. But the point is, you like it?

Yeah, she admits and absently takes another sip. Ah, what the hell. All I do is either dance or talk when Im drunk, so just warn me, okay? You know sip- This was a great idea after all, you know? sip- It got me away from school. And even though I find it really irresponsible that you cut and came here sipYeah? I urge her on with great interest. Shes silent for almost a minute, gazing pensively into the flames. You know, I thought my sister got drunk fast, but I think Jesse will beat her. She starts talking again, slowly and precisely, like she has to think about how to form the words before she says them. sip- Im happy you did. sip- Ill never look at breakfast the same way. You never go to breakfast in school. You sleep in. Youre the type of guy that hogs the blanket. Its really annoying. Am I sip- - babbling? Of course not. sipOh. Because I feel like I am. And when I drink too much I talk. I sometimes fall asleep. Or I get really horny. Not that it makes much of a difference because Im always horny around you. Im just really glad Ive never admitted it because you would totally take advantage of that, you know? Yeah, I know, I agree sympathetically. She nods enthusiastically. sip- Exactly. Like, this morning, do you know how close I was to just jumping you? Maybe I should have. But that would have been awkward. I dont know how Id want to lose my virginity, because I dont want to get married, but I want to get laid, but not to a stranger. sipIt takes me a moment to find my voice. Then have sex with someone you trust. I pause, then decide shes tipsy enough. Do you trust me? Okay! she bubbles happily. sip- Mariana sure was a bitch, wasnt she? My back still hurts. Then, she sighs and cuddles into me, and for a long moment, shes silent, staring into the fire, her eyes drifting shut. Last day, she murmurs finally, lolling her head back on the sofa she as leaning against. She shifts, and winces a bit. Damn it. She glances at me, and bites her lip, finally finally! putting aside the nearly empty bottle, which I snatch up to finish off myself. If she drinks anymore Id never forgive myself. Well, okay. I probably would, but still. Its exactly nine Oclock. Um about that whole one-hour thing remember? You promised to be my slave for one hour because I cooked you chili?

I smile lazily. Back massage? Oh, God, please. I normally hate massages because I kinda hate it when people touch me. I mean, if its someone I know, its fine with me, but even then, I need to be attracted to the person. Like, be good friends, or think theyre hot. Youre pretty damn attractive. Okay. Too much babbling. If she remembers this, Im dead. I sit up straight, scoot over to where shes sitting, grab her around the waist, and maneuver her so her back is to me. I start on her neck, the small hollow just above the hairline, gently working my thumbs against it while curving my hand against her head. She sighs in total relief and leans into me. If I fall asleep, does that mean that the rest of the hour is saved for another time, like tomorrow morning? No, I answer huskily. You fall asleep, its your loss. Ive worked my way down to the base of her neck. Im really good at massages. I guess Im just one of those guys thats pun and innuendo intended really good with his hands. Then you have to wake me up if I she yawns, f-fall asleep I rub at the tension between her neck and her shoulders; after a few minutes, the muscles there are completely relaxed, so I move onto her shoulder blades. Keeping my voice low and soothing, I ask, Did you have fun this past week? She doesnt even bother nodding. Yeah It sounds more like a purr than a word, and I feel my body tense slightly. I really hope Im not the only one getting a bit turned on here. A lot turned on. I work my way down to her lower back, and when I get to a certain spot low on her spine, she arches slightly into my hands. Always good to know the sensitive spots. I drag my hands up again, and start the massage over again, glancing at the clock. Its been twenty minutes. Damn it. I have this little plan, you see, and I need to keep her distracted till the hour is up, but at this rate, shes going to be out cold in five minutes. So I change the massage a bit, pressing harder. She stiffens. Ow. Yeah, ow indeed. I swear, Id just relaxed these muscles up. Wonder what tensed them up again? I grin. Sunshine, are you nervous about something? Sorry, folks. Couldnt resist.

She shakes her head. No. Why? Im not nervous. Actually, Im just glad I didnt get the hiccups. Some people get it when theyre drunk and it takes next to nothing to get me drunk so if that were the case then Id probably get the hiccups. But no. Im not nervous. What makes you say that? I shrug, even though she cant see the gesture. Youre all tense again. Troubling thoughts? She gives a small, muffled laugh. No, never mind. And after that, she dozes off, her head resting against the couch. I stretch my arms. Technically, Im supposed to keep rubbing her back, or wake her up, but who cares? Shes asleep, so its not like she knows any better. So I stare into the flames, letting the writhing, dancing lines of pure light hypnotize me, let my mind go blank till it eventually latches onto a specific thought that was floating around. Id missed this side of Jessie. The fun, sensual, open part of her Id gotten to see when wed had our little deal before Marie had to open her damn trap to Ms. Healthgot. That had brought back Jessies emotional armor, but now? I hope she doesnt. I really do. Normally, Id be totally assured that everything was cool between us, but this is Jessie. Jessies different. I really owe Eva a big one for everything. Talking about Eva is she still here? I glance around the room. Evas sleeping on the bed on the other side of the cabin, and shes sprawled all over my bed, and on the kitchen counter, theresooh! Cocoa mix! I cant resist. I get up and go to the fridge, taking milk out and pouring it into a pot on the stove. I turn it on, and watch the milk boil. Well, itd not boiling. This is boring. I glance at the clock. Exactly five to ten. Excellent timing, really. Heading back to where Jessies slumped against the sofa in front of the fire, I reach out, and gently rub Jessies back, then slowly drag my palms down her arms repeatedly from her shoulders to her elbows. Sunshine, I whisper, leaning in so my breath tickles the back of her neck. Wake up. She gives a little sigh and flops over, right against me, and for one delicious minute, snuggles there. But after a while, she opens her eyes blearily.

Youre really good with massages, she murmurs, but you still cant cook for shit. Thats why you can cook, I decide, and trail my fingers up and down her side really lightly. She shivers. Cold? No. she tilts her head up at an angle, so that when I look down, our lips are about an inch apart. Kiss me. Hell yeah! Whos good? Im good. I lean forward, and halve the distance. Her eyes are still smoky and dark from the nap, and her pupils are larger than normal. No, I whisper. It takes a moment, but when the word registers, she blinks. What? I said no. Its ten Oclock. Your hour is up. I stare into her eyes, not blinking. Why dont you kiss me? Its a gamble, I know, but shes supposed to go after me. And I dont want her saying later that I kissed her, and therefore, whatever. This time, I was going to make damn sure that she started it so that she has nothing on me. She pulls away for a brief moment, and I feel a huge wave of disappointment crash over me. But then quickly, like shes doing it before she loses the courage to, she slides a hand around the back of my neck, pulls down, and, after giving my lower lip a small bite, she presses her lips against mine. I move my head to give her better access, and her tongue slips in and twines around mine. I kiss her back, of course, but, for the first time, I dont try to dominate or control it in any way. Shes the one that speeds it up, goes from intense to soft and sweet. Shes the one that takes my hands and puts them on her, and shes the one that pulls me down on top of her, entwining her legs with mine so were lying in front of the fire with no sound except for the crackling of the fire, rapid breaths, and those alluring purrs she does in the back of her throat when shes turned on. I lace my fingers with hers, and hold them against the floor above her head. I glance up at a flicker of movement and small draft of cold air its Eva, her face extremely red, slipping out the door, giving us full privacy. When her fingers move out of mine to tug my t-shirt over my head, I let her. The shirt shes wearing is held closed with eight buttons make that seven sixfive there probably is a really good reason why I shouldnt have, but right now, Im not really thinking, if you know what I mean. Everything is

just this lazy swirl of sensations and feelings, Jessies skin under me and the heat from the fireplace needlessly warming my back. I trail my mouth in a series of hot wet kisses into the hollow of her neck; I can feel the wild flutter of her pulse as she arches against me and tries to move her arms, but theyre pinned to her sides because Im in the middle of sliding her shirt off. Theres the faintest sheen of perspiration on her skin; I probably have it too I would put out the fire but that means stopping. She tastes a bit salty, and her skin is very warm. I breathe in, loving the rich smell of her, that faint trace of her peach lip gloss, and Burning milk? Its like someone throws a pail of ice-cold water over me. Oh, fuck no! I leap up, eliciting a small squeak from Jessie as I pull free. I trip over my shirt, stumble, and run behind the kitchen counter to where the pot is smoking like crazy. I turn off the oven and grab a towel to pick up the pot and throw it in the sink. I turn on the water, and the thing hisses like crazy. So I grab the pot again, open the door, and throw it out into the snow. I slam the door shut and sag against it, raking a hand though my hair, and then just fisting it. Jessies rolled onto her stomach, and has buried her face into her arms, her upper body moving with every deep breath she takes. Then she rolls back over onto her back and looks at me. You just had to forget about the milk, didnt you? she accuses. Her voice is huskier and deeper than usual. Her bra is lacy. I love lacy bras. I think Im gonna cry. Instead, I groan. Its not like I planned it. She sighs. Well. I guess it was for the best. My head is spinning. And Christ, do I want to - Yes. Okay. I get it. If she finished that sentence I doubt Id be as gracious as to allow her to leave. Even though gracious is the wrong word. Chivalrous? Gallant? Well-mannered? Idiotic? Um.. I should probably go back to the other cabin, she says softly. Wheres Eva? Yeah. Her going back would be the best. Eva left when you were dozing off. She ah said she had some last minute packing to do. Little white lie right there. Not just about Eva, but it being best that she leaves. I mean, it probably wouldnt be a great idea to take her virginity (right now) but if

she leaves, that means another long, cold, lonely, frustrating night for me with at least one hot shower. Screw a cold one; it aint helping at all. My only consolation as I watch her slowly wobble past me and out the cabin is that it would be the same for her. Which really wasnt much help at all. o0o0o0o0o0o Dear Diary, Its two in the morning. I cant sleep. I dont care what Rafael said Im pretty sloshed, but at least I didnt babble too much. My body hurts. I cant keep my thoughts from heading into really explicit zones. Im DYING here. I cant do this anymore. Ill take care of it first thing when I get back to school. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o What the fuck are you doing? Because to arrive on the same plane as the rest of the girls would look suspicious, I arrive about six hours later. I drag my suitcase up the stairs, opened the door to my room, only to see Jessie packing the last of her stuff up into a cardboard box. I drop my suitcase in surprise. It crashes to the ground, and Jessie jumps. She turns around, and sees me standing there with my mouth open. She averts her gaze and marches past me. I storm after her. I said, what the fuck are you doing? Moving out, she says nervously. (And she doesnt seem to have a hangover. Not fair. I always get one.) I leap in front of her, making her stop. Oh, hell no youre not. Turn around and put that back in our room! In case that wasnt clear, I jab a finger over her shoulder in the direction of our room. No. Yes. Move. No. We glare at each other. I have a good reason, Jessie says, finally. I dont move. Really?

Yes, really, she snaps. If youll let me past she shoulders past me, marches up the stairs, and heads towards an open door. I follow her. There better be a good reason for this, or therell be hell to pay. I follow her into the room; slam the door shut on curious faces in the crowd our little argument has picked up. Damn, I gasp. You better not be moving in here because it has a flat screen color T.V.! Though it wouldnt be the very worst reason in the world. Plasma, I think sixty inches, give or take. Freaking gorgeous. Maybe I can move in here, too. No! Jessie protests. Actually, this is Ms. Healthgots room. Shes letting me stay with her for the rest of the semester so I can do this. Its a big room. Theres a twin-sized bed on one side, and a large sofa pushed up against the opposite wall with a blanket and a pillow on it, where Jessies probably going to sleep. Jessie puts the box on top of several others, then stands back and dusts off her hands. Perfect. No, its not. Its as imperfect as you can get. Why are you doing this? She glances at me. Well, you see, after what happened she darts a glance at the door and lowers her voice, last night, I decided This is seriously pissing me off. We go forward three steps, she runs back five, and drags me with her. Im heartily sick of it, and if she doesnt move those boxes back to where they belong, in my room, Ill bring them there myself and drag her kicking and screaming back with me. Shes still talking about Um Rewind? Come again? I say, incredulously. I must have been so deep in my dark thoughts that I hadnt heard her correctly. She takes a deep breath. I talked to Ms. Healthgot, and she said as long as I stay with her shell allow it Allow what? Jessie is currently the reddest Ive ever seen her (and trust me, thats saying something), and shes having problems looking at me. Finally, obviously getting annoyed with herself, she looks me square in the face and sets her jaw like shes about to say the worst thing ever. I was just wondering would you go out with me?I know it was the worst possible reaction, but just the way she said it, so completely annoyed, like it was the last thing she wanted, after everything we went through I started laughing.

And once I started laughing, I just couldnt stop. After all this, she asks me out? God, this girl is so mine. She looks really hurt and embarrassed. Never mind, she says stiffly, and her bottom lip wobbles slightly. If you dont want to, then Then what? Dunno. Id ask her, but my mouths busy doing (wonderful) things to hers right now, so Ill ask her later if I remember. Probably wont. o0o0o0o0o0o Mr. Montgomery, Ms. Davidson, Ms. Healthgots voice drawls out in amusement, I have no wish to start worrying that Ill walk in on scenes like this every time I come in here to take a small nap from this overly stressful job. Sorry, Jessie says weakly from where I have her backed up against the wall. Wont happen again. Well, ah, go over to the um Well just go, I interject, and start dragging Jessie out the room behind me. The crowd that had been there earlier had finally dissipated. Sorry bout that, Ms. Heathgot. Mr. Montgomery? Ms. Heathgots voice calls out after me. Yeah? Almost at the staircase, damn it. Freedom was never so close yet so far I called your father on the cell phone, and he verified that you were with him this week, due to family problems. She cocks her head to the side, her shrewd eyes never leaving my face. If I were to call your mother, would I get the same story? If she calls my mother, you can put a Dead Meat label on me right now. I keep my face calm as I recite the number from heart. Call that and ask for Mrs. Annabelle Montgomery. Shell verify. Both Ms. Heathgot and Jessie blink at me. (Tessas used to playing my mum.)

Ms. Heathgot recovers first. Well then I believe you. So she eyes us both. Who asked who? She asked me, I admit. For shame, Mr. Montgomery, Ms. Healthgot sniffs, looking downright disappointed. Youve been after this poor girl for months, and she ends up having to ask you? What is it with teenagers these days? And she closes the door with a snap. Leaving us with our mouths open. Omigosh, a girl squeals, whod obviously been watching the whole show from in her room (shed had the door open). Jessie asked? Thats, like, so cute! And she slams the door shut. Ill give the school oh, say twentytwo minutes before everyone knows. Another forty minutes for the majority of the guys. In the meantime, excuse me, but Jessie and I are going somewhere private. o0o0o0o0o0o So its true? Jessie tenses. As do I, but I dont turn around. Maybe the voice will go away. Its not supposed to be here, anyway. Well, the voice mocks. I guess it is. Considering the two of you are all over each other right now. Congratulations, Montgomery, you finally took her down from the ice pedestal. Okay. That does it. Because Id had my hands braced on either side of Jessies head against the wall in the girls lounge (one look at my face and everyone had evacuated it quickly), I push lightly and pivot on my foot, but am prevented from heading forward as Jessie clamps a hand on my arm. Her face looks a bit tight, so I refrain from saying anything violent. Im in a good mood. So how about you walk off real fast, and I wont have to twist your little dick into a pretzel again. Deal? Well, too violent. Benjamins face turns a shade redder at the memory. Fuck you, he snaps. As if my least favorite person in the world wasnt enough, Marie chooses that time to stalk into the room. Ben, I was she halts, abruptly, and looks at Jessie and me. Shes no fool; she can read the body language. And its also easy to see that shes going to do her best to get back at Jessie.

Marie sends Jessie a sweet smile and wraps herself all over Benjamin, who looks a bit confused at the sudden attention. Isnt this awkward. She tries to sound surprised, but it comes out with evil glee. I was so surprised when I found out about you and Raffie. The words are all but dripping honey. Good luck holding on to him, Jessica. It was my turn to grab Jessies arm as she tries to step around me and at the girl smirking at us. Its ironic, really, Jessie settles for saying in the same sweet tone, obviously pretending to acknowledge the couple. If Benjamin could get the dumbstruck look off of his face, Marie might have actually pulled it off. I get the guy I want, that you wanted, and you get the guy you dont want but go for because you hate me, and I hopefully get rid of the asshole that has wet dreams about screwing me. Wet dreams? I repeat, outraged. Bitch, Marie hisses at Jessie. Benjamins face turns ugly. Well. Uglier than usual. He opens his mouth, his eyes fixed malevolently on Jessie, but then looks at me, and shuts up with an obvious effort. Yep. Thats right, asshole. If hed had any doubt about Jessie being under my protection, Im sure its been all cleared up. Goes with the territory, of course. Someone messes with Jessie; Im guaranteed to hear about it. Because, before, some people might have still not considered it my business. But now? Benjamin wont be able to sneeze near her without me knowing about it. Theres a long, tense moment. A group of girls wander into the lounge, chatting, and freeze when they see the four of us facing off. Marie sees the audience and tugs on Benjamins arm, whispering something in his ear. He resists at first, then, after shooting one last hate-filled look at me and a twisted one at Jessie, he lets Marie pull him out the room. Well, Jessie breathes out. Benny-boy looked like he had no clue what hit him. Damn, I mutter. That was fast. You guys are going out, right? One of the girls asks. Yeah? Jessie answers warily, making it sound like a question.

Finally, another giggles. You guys are like, made for each other. Totally natural, another agrees, nodding furiously. I cant resist; I turn around and look at Jessies red face. Hear that, Sunshine? Its natural. Couldnt fight nature, could you? She glares at me. Oh, shaddup, and get that smug look on your face. And with that, she leaves the room without bothering to see if I would follow. I raise my eyebrows at them. Totally natural, eh? And I go after her. Still havent been able to get the smirk off my face, though. Its like its glued there or something. o0o0o0o0o0o Hey, Diary, Never thought Id have the guts to do it. Normally, I hate beating around the bush, but I swear, my stomach was this huge writhing mass of nerves. I guess the fact that Rafael was pissed at me helped, because yelling does take the edge off. Sort of. But I nearly died when he started laughing dunno what that was about but he just grabbed me after that so quite frankly, I dont care. He went back to our well, his room, now, to get some money; were seeing a movie tonight. I borrowed ten dollars from Eva because Im dead broke and I dont like it when the guys have to pay for everything. Eva was ecstatic when she found out. Anne just said that shed wondered when I was going to give in, while Jared just looked really, really amused. Some of the other guys also looked like theyd been expecting it, and none of them looked embarrassed when I sarcastically thanked them for warning me that he was going to sneak onto the trip. Us being together. Nothing at all has changed except for the fact that I get looks that vary from intense longing to intense amusement from my fellow classmates, though the former happens a heck of a lot more than the latter. Oh, and also that now neither of us have to keep our hands off each other, which we could barely do anyway. Well, I hear Rafael flirting with some girls in the hallway, so Im going to go rescue some poor girls heart. Sometimes I wonder if he has any clue about his impact on females

Oh, wait. Its Rafael Im talking about. Never mind. Xoxo Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Because that evening we were going to see a movie over in town, I got the added bonus of seeing Brads face when he found out that his ex was totally out of his reach. In fact, I was the one that broke it to him. (Gleefully.) Id just been getting popcorn and soda while Jessie bought the tickets with the twenty I gave her, though I suspect Im going to discover someone slipped a ten in my pocket later this evening. We were attracting a lot of notice; well, hell, we were the center of the latest gossip. I take that in stride; I tend to always be in the spotlight, but Jessie seems to be a bit uncomfortable with it. Itll be over soon. Anyway. So some girl comes up to me and queries, Rafael? Hmmm? I dont know who she is. Isnt that Jessies ex with her? I glance over my shoulder, and my eyes narrow. Jessies chatting away to Brad, obviously not noticing the looks hes giving her. Thanks, I tell the girl. No prob, she answers. I dont think he knows yet that Her voice trails off. Brad just put his arm around Jessie casually. From the look on Jessies face, she just realized, a bit too late, that it probably wasnt the best idea for her to be with him right now. She tries to shrug his arm off, and she snaps something at him. Im too far away no Ive just stalked in range Look, Jessie, about us There is no us, Brad. Im Both of them look a bit startled when I stop short in front of them. Brad still hasnt moved his arm. So I knock it off when I slide an arm around Jessies shoulder, pull her to me, and give her a quick, thorough kiss. When I look at Brad, his face is totally shocked. Everyones watching us, expressions ranging from anticipation (of a fight, probably) and amusement.

Youre going out with him? he demands of Jessie, sounding completely aghast. And completely ignoring me. I can live with that. As long as he keeps his hands to himself. Jessie angles her chin like she does when shes really pissed, like shes just daring someone to take a shot at her. Ive been tempted a few times, myself, to be honest. Yeah, I am, she says coolly. Why? Because he can climb up to the second floor window, she rejoins smartly, then glances at the things Im holding with my other arm. Dibbs on the popcorn. She hands me my ticket. Come on, she says. Not that I have much choice, because shes practically dragging me across to the ticket person. Sunshine? What? You dont have to drag me. Im perfectly capable of walking by myself. She drops my arm, looking embarrassed. Sorry. I just Wanted me as far away from Brad as quickly as possibly before I decided to punch his lights out for trying to put moves on you? I smile real nice when she shoots me a startled look. No, I would never do something like that. Wouldnt ever cross my mind. Scouts honor. You were a Boy Scout? I pause delicately before answering. No. It takes a moment, but she laughs, and any tension between us vanishes. You nut, she says fondly, socking me in the arm. You dont really seem like Boy Scout material. Er you were kidding about punching his lights out, right? Sure, Sunshine. And we left it at that. (Dunno about the movie. Missed most of it. Back row seats, you know) o0o0o0o0o0o I guess Ill fast forward a bit, because, quite frankly, the way the next few weeks were was the same as the past few weeks, except without any snow. Crappiest winter ever, I gotta say. The other differences being, of course, that I had a girlfriend, I was late to class just a few times a week (Ill deny claims of every day) and well if Jessie argued with me I could kiss her to

shut her up, unless Ms. Heathgot was there, because my God does that woman make Death Stares into an art form. I think shes as good as I am. The only possible thing worth mentioning, besides the fact that two times I almost got to see her tattoo, but, well, I got interrupted. The first time was in my room, when Jared just had to walk in (insert him singing Lonely / Im Mr. Lonely / I have nobody / To call my own!), and the second time was in Jessies new room, when Ms. Healthgott just had to walk in. The first one was embarrassing for Jessie, and the second one was just embarrassing all around. So lets not delve into that, as Ill go through it more than enough times in future nightmares. Id always figured that she would be the same snappy, smart-ass person even if we were in an official relationship. But guess what? Instead, she was er well, okay, so she hasnt changed much. And, according to her, Im the same smug idiot that I was before. Except now Im the smug idiot that can have my hand up her shirt and she wont worry as much about someone catching us. Well, you know, excluding Ms. Heathgot, but Im sure you dont want to What? You wanna know how she caught us? Jeez. Its like youre entertained by my more humiliating moments. How about I tell you about the second time she busted us? Rewind to yesterday o0o0o0o0o0o The rain, Eva says with a wistful smile as I saunter in. That has got to be the most romantic scene ever. Dont you think? Jessie shrugs. I wouldnt know. What? Eva squeaks. Youre kidding, right? Rafael, do something! What exactly am I supposed to do? I ask curiously, flopping down next to Jessie and wrapping an arm around her waist. She absently leans against me. Something about rain? Shes never been kissed in the rain! I purse my lips in a silent whistle. Youre kidding, Sunshine.

What, you have? She asks. Then shakes her head. Never mind. Dumb question. Mmm hmm. I grin and tug on a small curl sticking out of her otherwise wavy hair. So. How could you allow such an awful thing to happen? Well, she explains sarcastically, When I kissed a guy, it wasnt raining, and when it was raining, I didnt kiss a guy. Is that so difficult a concept for the two of you to grasp? Yup, I answer for both of us. I mean, I can see why you havent done it yet. Why? She asks me curiously. Cause its romantic, I answer promptly. She gets what Im saying instantly. Are you saying Im not romantic? She demands, looking indignant. I can so do romantic, Montgomery. I dont know what youre talking about. I wait a moment. Lets go out for dinner in town tonight. I have a paper due tomorrow, she says automatically. I need to proofread it. She blinks. She scowls. You were saying? She sighs. Rain check. Not good enough, I decide after a moment. Youve broken my heart. Shattered my ego. I stop as she laughs so hard she snorts. Whats so funny about my ego being shattered? Its a very delicate thing. Uh-huh, she giggles. Well, how about I owe you one thing. Only one. And you can choose whatever it is, as long as its not embarrassing, it doesnt break the law, and um you dont find a loophole in that. So much for a night of crazy sex. But I dont need help getting that. I hope I wont so instead I just smile and reply, Tomorrow, Ill show you, and I leave the room to get something from the cafeteria. Im starving, and if I stay shell attack me with questions, demands, and more clauses to add to those. Afterwards, because Jessie did looks stressed by that paper, I decide to leave her alone and got take a nap, because e theres a little plan forming in my head, concerning what Eva had said

Fast-forward a bit to this moment right here. Its oh, say, one in the morning? Im on my stomach in Ms. Heathgots room, and squirming inch by agonizing inch to Jessies sleeping form. I can tell its Jessie because I can see her brown hair, her slender body, and of course, the discarded sock on the floor nearby her bare foot. So close Ms. Heathgot turn in her sleep, and I freeze in total terror. As I watch, horrified, she yawns, stretches, and sits up, muttering. Cant sleep. Damn it, Ill just read. As fast as possible, I roll behind the sofa. Because the sofa is turned towards the wall to give Jessie privacy, ms. Heathgot cant see anything. I put a hand over her mouth, and her eyes pop open, panicked, until they latch onto mine. Then they just look confused. I keep my hand over her mouth, and motion towards the door. She gives ame a look that clearly says, What drug are you on? I scowl, and then flatten myself against the floor as Ms. Heathgot disappears into the bathroom and softly closes the door, which is my cue to grab Jessies hand and dash for the door as quietly as possible. To my relief, she follows me without any fuss. What is it? she whispers once were safely out, and just in time, I realize, as the toilet flushes and the soft sounds of footsteps. Wont she realize youre gone? I suddenly panic. Nah, she likes to read late at night, and the light never bothers me, so she wont think of checking on me, Jessie whispers back. But I wanted to ask you, are you high? What the hell? See? Told you she was thinking that. I grab her and start pulling her through the darkened corners, motioning for her to keep quiet. She does, until she realizes were heading towards a small side door that you need to pass through the kitchen to reach. I hadnt really given notice to it before, but its a great little escape route. Where are we going? I smile over my shoulder at her. Outside. Why? Youll see. I open the door, and, after grabbing a nearby cutting board to prop the door open, I go outside. Its raining steadily, not a torrent, but hard enough that the second Jessie steps outside, she tries to pull her hand away

from mine to head back to the dry, warm kitchen. Laughing quietly, I yank at her arm so she careens into me, off-balance. She glares up at me, shivering slightly, pieces of hair already plastered to her streaming face. Can you please explain why were standing in the rain a half hour after curfew? Because its sad that youve never had the experience of getting properly kissed in the rain, I lay out matter-of-factly, and proceed to change that. I pretty much lucked out that Jessie had decided to wear her martini glass PJs, cause that material is thin cotton with a white background. And we all know what happens to white clothing when its wet. Granted, I wasnt looking. Theres something special about kissing in the rain; I can feel every drop sliding over my skin, can taste the sweet coolness in the drops that are sliding over Jessies face. Were both as soaking wet as if weve both gotten dunked in the stream, but Jessies not shivering at all; well, that is, not from the cold, anyway. Under her shirt her skin is hot and wet and smooth. She pulls away for a moment, and theres a silly little smile on her face that shes trying to keep down but cant. Now I see what Eva was talking about. Good, I say, leaning forward to lick off the drop perched on the tip of her nose. Fun, isnt it? She licks her lips. It tastes cool. A bit salty, I guess. Watching her dart her tongue over her lips inspired me to do the same with mine. She twined her fingers through my hair and sucked on my tongue, while I let my hands cheerfully roam. I have absolutely no idea how long weve been out here I mean, we shouldnt stay out here too long, but Id rather be out here than all alone in bed. I didnt have any warning whatsoever. Id been, well, obviously, kissing Jessie, when something hits me on the top of my head. Disoriented, I see Candy the Star for a moment, and then I jolt away, jerking my hand out from under Jessies shirt (honestly, people, dont look so surprised, what did you expect? That my hands are glued to her back or something? And its not like her hands are modest, either) look down, saw what had hit me, and look up in total confusion. Ms. Healthgot had just chucked a romance book out her window at us.

Jessie looked up, and gave a badly stifled shriek of shock, shoving me away, which effectively dislodged my other hand. The one around her waist, people. Jeez. Get the minds out the gutters, even though I have a tendency of sending them there, dont I? Ms. Ms. Ms. Jessie gasps out. Healthgot? I help out. She turns on me. I know what her name is! She squeaks. Ms. Healthgot is peering out her window at us. Its one thirty in the morning. Two and a half hours after curfew. I would ask what you two are doing, but it seems rather redundant. She smiles. But thats terribly romantic, Mr. Montgomery. Thanks, I say, squinting up at her. Youre quite welcome. One hour detention for both of you after school tomorrow. Dont forget to take a hot shower, because otherwise you might catch a cold from this. Please bring my book up with you, Ms. Davidson, because I was just getting to the part where Daegus and Chloe get on the plane. And she pulls her head in and shuts the door. Jessies eyes are bugging out. Detention? she squeaks. I cock an eyebrow. Dont tell me youve never had detention before. She shakes her head, beginning to look panicked. No Its all your fault! I roll my eyes. Jeez. Calm down. Ms. Norwick covers tomorrow. She falls asleep after twenty minutes. And I really doubt that Healthgots gonna put it on your record, Sunshine. Because, if she does, it takes a small call to Julian to fix it up. Just like I paid him forty bucks to get rid of the fight with Marie off her permanent records. Not that Jessie knows that. She scowls, but follows when I go inside, closing the door. She wraps her arms around herself when she sees me eyeing her clothing, or rather, the transparency of. Okay, okay. Im looking at whats under it. Sue me. Dont be a perv, she mutters. Im not a perv; Im your boyfriend. Theres a difference. She snickers. Perv. Boyfriend.

Perv. Perverted boyfriend? I can live with that, she says with a great show of reluctance. Then she winces. How much do you think she saw? I wince, too. Id rather not think about that right now. But Im sure she saw a bit, considering where my hand(s) had been when shed thrown that book. I wonder if thats where Jessie got it. The book throwing, that is. By the time were up in front of Jessies new room, the doors open and waiting. Jessie eyes the interior with a bit of apprehension. Ill go in with you, I offer. You know, face the music. She smiles at me. She wont say anything, you know that. Quite frankly, she gets a kick out of these things, if you ask me. She thought some of the pranks you pulled at the guys school totally hilarious. We could hear her cracking up in her office with her secretary every time shed get a phone call from the dean. Going slightly on her toes, she brushes her lips against mine. Thanks, Montgomery. She pulls away, and I notice in amusement that shes blushing slightly before she darts into the room and closes it quietly behind her. As I walk back to my room, I cant help but smile. It always makes her a bit uncomfortable when saying thank you for something like that. Shell say it in passing, shell say thank you for a small gift, but when its with me, she always gets a bit flustered, like shes surprised I would do something for her. I mean, if the guys she dated were like Brad I mean, he doesnt seem like the type that would go out of his way for her. Or, at least, she was never pampered. Well, theres a first time for everything. o0o0o0o0o0o So yeah, that was my embarrassing moment. Okay, it wasnt horrifying, but I think it was for Jessie. She sure didnt like showing up for detention the next day, and the teacher nearly had a heart attack when she saw Jessie slink in. Of course, the next look was a glare, aimed at Yours Truly, like I had something to do worth it. Oh, wait, I had. Never mind

Ms. Norwick falls asleep after about seventeen minutes and thirteen seconds. Any other students instantly shoot out of the room, but Jessie refuses to budge. What if she wakes up? She wont wake up, I whine. I mean, look at the puddle of drool on her desk! Shes comatose! But she refuses to budge, so with an annoyed side, I sit on her desk. Okay, Ms. Perfect. Were staying ten minutes, maximum, but after that, if shes still asleep, Im hauling you out over my shoulder if I have to. She sniffs disdainfully. Do your worst. Is that a dare? She flounders when she sees from my face that Im dead serious. No. No! Just an observation. She gives me a weak smile. Haha. Please dont. Okay. Somewhat mollified, I reach into my bag, and pull out a rather battered but still perfectly legible invitation. Id given the other ones out ages ago, so this one had gotten a bit squashed in my bag. Sorry about it. You can still read it. Curious, she opens it, and her mouth falls open. Oh, my God. Your moms the one that hosts these parties? Youve heard of them? I ask, pleased. They are really good parties, I have to admit, despite the boorish people. Of course! Moms been angling for one of these invitations for years. A look of annoyance crosses her face. Shes just dying to rub it into her little posh friends faces that she could get invited but they didnt. I bit my lip. Wait so shes coming? Not that Id tell Jessie she couldnt invite her mom, but, I mean, you know what Im saying. It sounds like Mrs. Davidson wouldnt win Best Person of the Year Award. She smiles brightly, banishing my worries. Heck, no! Shes going to have a cow when she hears about this! Besides, parents just kill it, you know? Wow. This is amazing. I thought Id have to drag her kicking and screaming to the ball thing. Im just about the mentally congratulate my self that Jessie seems eager to go when her face falls. No. Fuck. No. Parents. Am I going to meet your parents?

Yeah, theyre really excited about meeting you. Seeing her horrified face, I quickly hurry on, Theyre really cool. I swear. No need to get worried, okay? Im sure theyll just adore She whispers something under her breath. What? Missed that. It sounds really dumb, Jessie mutters. What does? She sighs. Look. I dont know how to say this, but Im cursed. I blink. Cursed. Im confused. How so? I turn into a clumsy blabbing mentally impaired idiot when I have to meet my boyfriends parents. No, she rushes on when she sees my huge grin. You dont understand. It happened with two boyfriends already, and the last one, I managed to trip over a chair, crash headfirst into the dinner table, send the food all over the priceless rug, and break china that had apparently been in the family for five hundred years! her voice shot up at that, and behind me, I heard Ms. Norwick give an extra loud snore. I run my hand through her hair soothingly. Breathe, Sunshine. Just think positive for the next three weeks, and by the time our spring break comes up, youll be fine! Whoever coined the phrase famous last words... please be wrong. But if so, Ill bring a video camera and send it into Americas Funniest Home Videos. oure a fucking idiot! Jessie bursts out. How could you have not passed this test? I read the freaking notes out loud to you for two and a half hours! I wince. Anything below an eighty seems to be failing for her. I have to admit, dating certainly does mellow Jessie out. Shes a lot nicer, a lot more cheerful (well, kissing is pretty healthy, releases good chemicals that Jessie

probably knows the name of in your body) and well kind of more strict about me passing classes. Like, especially when Ive gotten a seventy on a math test. Um, a seventy is pretty damn good. Im just glad she didnt see that fifty-six in English Raffie! Yo! You studied! I know, Jessica, I snap. Thats why I passed. Stop being so bitchy. Speechless, she waves my test around in the air for a moment before putting it down carefully on my bed, like, God forbid it wrinkles. So I pick it up and deliberately shove it into a binder. She flinches at the ensuing ripping noise. Dont you have to do test corrections? Yep. Nah, I answer carelessly. Her eyes narrow. Wait, I amend quickly. Yeah, I did. But I already did them. I smile. Person next to me got a hundred. Youre not going to learn if you cheat, she mutters. Whats there to learn? I dont need to learn about shit like that. Why should I care about pre-calculus? Um does calculus ring a bell? Heh. Right. That. o0o0o0o0o0o I really hate to do this, Ms. Manny assures me mournfully, but youve missed five homeworks, and that means an hour detention in my class. I pull on my heroic face. I understand. Im terribly sorry, Ms. M. She pats me on the head, even though she has to all but go up on her toes to reach it. Youre such a good boy. Be sure to do tomorrows homework! I smile. Of course. I leave the room. This is my last period, so its straight to detention for me. I pass by a girl in my class and grin at her. Hey, Cecile. Her mouth falls open. UhRafael. She blinks hard. You you just got detention?

Yeah. Oh, right. Sorry. How rude. My friends, meet Cecile. Overachiever who does all of her homework two years in advance. Very susceptible to a pretty face. As mine is downright beautiful, it was mere seconds before she offered to lend me her pre-done homeworks for me to copy. That whole semesters homework, that is. I wander off to detention, whistling. I swing into the classroom Ive kind of memorized all the detention schedules by now and smile at the teacher sitting there. We know each other very well. Homework. She sighs. Sit down, Rafael. Theres only one other person who has received detention today. She cut Health Class sixth period. Nice to know that the cut rate is down, for once. Usually, as summer approaches, it goes up. Whos got detention? I ask. The door swings open before the teacher can answer, and lo and behold, Jessie slinks in, looking like shed rather die. When she sees me, she does an about-face and tries to leave the room. Ms. Davidson! The teacher protests. Then, much more nicely, Jessica, dear, Im sorry about it, but you have to stay or youll be in even more trouble. She doesnt look sorry. She looks downright amused. Its an hour. If the two of you keep it down, Im sure I can let you out after twenty minutes or so. Jessie sits down right near the door in the corner, face red. Im sprawled all over the chair in the middle seat in the front row so I can talk to the teacher for entertainment, but this is way more fun. Hey, Sunshine. You dont see me, okay? she snaps, and buries her head in her arms. Cutting class, now are we? (Silence.) I get up and switch to the next seat. Hope Im not rubbing off on you, now. (Silence.) I glance at the teacher. What did she do? She continues to mark homework. Now, Rafael, Im not going to tell you. If she wants to tell you, then she will. Its her business, not mine. But her lips are twitching. Obviously, shes amused about something. Cmon, Jessie. Okay. Heath class. I start to smile. Sex video?

(Silence.) Then, she shakes her head, face still hidden. I scoot over to the next chair. Two more and Ill be next to her. Ah some really gross video about transmitted diseases? (Silence.) Was that it? Oh, come on. You could have just stared at the corner of the room. So. What else could there have been? Id taken Health last semester. Loads of fun, if you ask me. There were two types of questions the girls had asked; the clean ones went to the teacher, the dirty ones that were aimed at me. Jessie looks at me. I couldnt do it, she whispers. It sounded so embarrassing, and then she cornered me in the hall and told me if I was such an expert at it that I didnt need to take the class, I would have to do it in front of everyone tomorrow! The last part came out a bit too much like a sob for my comfort. I skip two chairs and sit on her desk, running a hand over her bent head. Hey. Hey. It cant be that bad. What do you have to do? (Mumble.) What? I have to put a you-know-what on a stupid banana! It takes me a split second to figure out what a you-know-what is and I slid sideways off the desk shouting with laughter. Oh, man, I am so glad Im free sixth period, because I wouldnt miss this for the world! Jessie leaps out of her seat, steps over where Im on the floor still unable to control the peals of laughter, and flees the room, looking incredibly betrayed. I guess I can let you out now, the teacher observes dryly as I rush out after her to try to minimize the damage. o0o0o0o0o0o I couldnt find her. So a few hours later, I knock on her door. Ms. Healthgot answers it. Hello, Mr. Montgomery. Ive been expecting you. Jessie had a message for you. Paraphrased and leaving out the insult she would rather not see you right now.

I crane my neck to peer into the room. Where is she? I hear you laughed at her about that incident. I sigh. Ive already gone on and come back from the guilt trip. Oh, please, like you didnt. Dont give me that innocent look, Ms. Healthgot. The situation was kick ass hilarious. Well, it was, wasnt it? Jeez. Like she wouldnt have rolled all over the floor if I had gotten embarrassed about something like that Shes taking a bath, like she has been for the last fifty minutes. Now, if youll excuse me, I have to do my five minute check in the bathroom to make sure she hasnt drowned herself. Wait. I stick my foot in the door before she can close it. Can you talk to the teacher, so she doesnt have to you know in front of the whole class? Please? Ill do anything. She raises her eyebrows. Anything? Well, Im sure I can come up with something that will satisfy everyone. Well, I have to hand it to her. She did. I get to teach tomorrows health class! (Free rein, too!) o0o0o0o0o0o Sixth period came, and I saunter into the class. Every girl looks up and smiles, and some of the more blatant ones coo out greetings. The teacher sat down in the corner of the room. Shes this wizened old prune, and half deaf. Hence, total freedom. I sit on the desk and smile at everyone. Hey, girls. Hi! Everyone choruses back. Except two people. One, being my girlfriend, who has her head buried in her arms, and two: Marie, whos looking at me with this cool, calculating look on her face. The late bell rings. I continue to sit on the desk. The teacher doesnt look up from her book. Everyone shoots confused looks around the room until Marie finally says loudly. Hey, isnt it time for Ms. Prude to show us all something?

Jessie slides down about two and a half inches into her chair. Because Marie wasnt referring to the teacher. No, I answer coolly. In fact, thats been erased from the schedule. Instead, I get to teach todays class, in case there are any questions that youd want to ask that you felt uncomfortable about asking er your teacher. Jessies head shoots up, and theres this totally relieved look on her face. Then, her head slams back down on her desk when she seems to realize something. I realize it, too, when Marie asks coyly, like, anything? Yeah. Anything. And youll answer honestly? Another girl challenges. (I feel a bit. threatened all of a sudden.) Yeah. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jessie slide down another few millimeters. Theres a moment of silence, and one girl pulls out a piece of paper. Can we, like, get into groups and work together on a list of questions? I open my mouth to say no, but the sound of thirty-odd chairs scraping against the floor as everyone slides their seats around override the slightly anxious-sounding syllable. And then, everyone starts squealing and chatting. Jessies still alone in her seat, so I raise an eyebrow. She twirls her finger in a circle around her temple, and then points at me. (Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunshine) Well, one girl starts tentatively a minute or so later. Is the whole shoe size thing for real? Ah, yes. The shoe size. I stick out my foot, and contemplate it for a moment. Nope. Myth. A few girls titter in the back row. Are you bigger or smaller? Marie asks. Holy shit. Its one minute into the lesson. Im frightened what theyre going to ask for at the end of the period. A demonstration? So I settle for just smirking at Marie. Let her make whatever she wants out of that. She pouts back at me, while every other girl seems to have developed a fascination with the fly of my jeans.

What about the whole going blind if you whack off too much? Not true. Duh. Because if it were, then well there would be a lot of people walking into walls. Are there any bad things about it? One girl pipes up shyly. Well, supposedly, if a guy does it too much, it makes it harder for future partners to satisfy him. Then again, its also said that it increases your sensitivity. Im more inclined to want to believe in the second one. I shrug, and shift so Im sitting cross-legged on the desk. Something rustles under me; its the grade book, lying open under my butt. I tug it out. Grades are done in pencil. I grin. Participation in this conversation raises your grade, I announce. Then I take a pencil, and erase several random grades and raise them by a point or two. Maries? I lower it. So, Marie asks, tossing back her hair, does that mean youll have to worry about your girlfriend being any good in bed? My eyes narrow, and I lower Maries grade by two points on her last test. Everyones now staring at Jessie, who seems to be busy doing math homework? Jeez. She didnt even hear the comment. I dont worry at all about that, I snap at Marie. Sunshine, stop doing homework. Whats that for, next week Thursday? Friday, she corrects me absently, not even looking up. Maybe you didnt know this, but I hate being ignored. So, bringing the grade book with me, I get up to sit on Jessies desk. Right on her homework. She makes this really irritated noise in the back of her throat, and gives a halfhearted kick at my legs but lets it pretty much slide. Now, where were we? I ask nicely. Have you slept with Jessie? This time, Jessie hears it. She gapes at Marie, then turns around to gape up at me. I smile and shut her mouth with a finger under her chin, answering with complete honesty, None of your fucking business. Omigod, one girl breathes. You so did. I didnt! Jessie defends herself, and then goes into her bag, pulls out her CD player, and plugs herself in, the music so loud that it takes five seconds for me to recognize the music as Hoobastank. Because Id rather not wrestle

with her right now, I decide to let it go. For the moment. Whats left is, though, is a big awkward silence, in which I lower Maries grade a bit more. I want to raise Jessies, but disgustingly enough, shes gotten perfect scores in everything, so theres nothing to change. If Jessie lost her virginity to someone else, how would you feel? Not. Happy. Jessie turns around. Toni! she hisses. What the fuck? Shut up! Toni just looks smug. What color underwear would Jessie look best in? Someone asks. Well, at least I dont have to answer the other question. Black, or maybe I start to think aloud when Jessie pokes me extremely hard in the ribs. Ow! Okay! Jeez. Off-limits. No more questions like that. Maybe a dark brown? Pale pink? Lacy, of course. I catch the look on Jessies face and amend swiftly, Anything else? Or should I go wake up the teacher whos snoring with a small trickle of drool coming down her chin and tell her to continue her lesson that she had planned for today, minus any demonstration from Sunshine over here? Ah, the protests. And then, the barrage of questions. So Ill just give a few highlights. Like, when someone asked me if we get erections when we piss. Which is, if you ask me, the weirdest question Ive ever heard. There were questions about a guy getting stuck (how do people come up with this stuff?) and just random things like that. Although I had been doing my best to avoid it, about halfway through the period, the questions started getting more and more personal again. Jessie had faithfully been listening to her music, but as the period went on, I noticed her finger continuously hitting the volume control. As in, making it softer. What are some turn ons and turn offs? Well, I hedge. Its different for every guy. I catch the looks and quickly add, Well, top peeves. From everyone. Low self-esteem. I know youve all heard it, but its true. Be confident. It helps a lot. Smoking. An occasional cigarette I can understand, but no habit. At least for me. I cant stand it. Eat with your mouth closed. Shave. And please dont talk about your exs all the time. We dont give a shit. Good stuff, I continue brightly as girls glance at each other, sending silent messages. One girl even reaches down into her bag to nudge of a pack of

cigarettes out of sight. Well. Be fun. Have fun. Be creative. And yes, before you ask, in bed and out. Laugh. Laughter indicates humor which is a great come-on. Okay, okay, so I peeked in my sisters copies of Cosmopolitan a few times. No biggie. Please, no clinging. I hate clingy girls. What else? Im not saying that you have to be size zero, but do keep at least a bit in shape. And that doesnt mean skinny. I dated this one girl who was a size what was it? Forget. Fourteen? Sixteen? Something like that. Amazing body. If you have it, dont flaunt it, but let us appreciate it. I meant like when having sex, the girl clarifies. Ah. I think thats illegal to discuss. Google that when you have a chance, though. I could get a lot more graphic about turn ons, but its not like Im going to teach Sexual Intercourse 101. If you want that, go on the Internet. Or to a bookstore. They probably have an Idiots Guide to it. Then again, they have an Idiots Guide to everything. Who did you have the best sex with? Assuming youre not a virgin, Marie adds. Shed been keeping quiet for a while. I glance down to see Jessie subtly lowering the volume again. Actually, I am a virgin. Thirty odd people Jessie included stare at me in shock. I snicker. Joke! Best sex? Tenth grade with one of the girls I dated back then. Who is? Marie queries at the same time someone else asks, What did she do that was so good? I glance at the clock. Ten more minutes. The second hand has stopped moving. No wait its slowly dragging itself around. So very, very slowly. In fact, I think the second hand just went backward for a moment. Ah Im not discussing that. Off-limits. How many times have you had sex? I sigh. Im not going to sit here and count. (I mean, okay, maybe not that many times, but I bet its more than any of you.) Lets see I first had that thing in ninth grade. Then another one after that then the one in tenth grade, but we pretty much screwed each others heads as often as possible, so Ill just count it as one. One time after junior prom hmmm. Thats it. Well, that I can remember. I think I forgot one or two. Do your parents know youre not a virgin? Probably, I admit with a shudder.

Whats your favorite position? I glance helplessly at the teacher. Still snoring. Still drooling. No help there. Um. Hmmm. Give me a moment. That would be girl on top, I decide. I mean, it does depend on my mood, of course. And before anyone asks why, think about it. Every girl seems to zone out for a few seconds with blissful looks on their faces. Lets all guess what theyre imagining What was your first time like? Another asks. Christ, Im getting embarrassed. I mean, I thought Id get nice, small questions from quiet, demure girls that would be too shy to ask anything, really. Instead, every girl is on the edge of her seat, eyes fixed fanatically on me or some part of me. A few have even moved their chairs, so Im totally surrounded. Jessies no help at all, pretending to be listening to her music over here. It was pretty awkward, I admit. Ooh, understatement. Actually, it was a complete failure on my part. I feel myself turning red just thinking about it. I mean, bloody awful. No guy should ever go through it. But it has a happy ending. My oversexed cousin heard about it, pretty much coaxed one of his various female friends to, well, teach me not to be a failure. Thank God for her seven years older than me, seven years more experienced. Though for her type, Id say like ten. See, thats what should be taught in school. How to have good sex. Not some half-assed sine curve. Because which one would you use more in life? Mmm-hmmm. Exactly. True, I had to hear the rumors after that failed trip through hell. Not that most people believed her anyway when she told people I sucked in bed. And, of course, the next time I slept with someone, the rumors that went around then totally cancelled out earlier ones. When the girls realized I wouldnt embellish, someone else asked, What was your first wet dream about? I grin at the memory. My seventh grade science teacher. She used to wear these really strict-looking clothes, but shed unbuttoned the shirt one day when it was hot and the top buttons accidentally gave way it was like another Janet Jackson, but this one was in a navy blue suit.

You sick perv, Jessie mutters. Look, it talks. I ignore her. Im not a sick perv. I am a normal, healthy, horny guy. Have you ever used Viagra? Or that weed thats supposed to make you really horny? someone asks. I nearly fall off the table. God, no! I can do it just fine on my own, thank you! Everyone cracks up. Amid the laughter, a faceless voice asks, What about faking it? No, never faked it. No, Marie clarifies impatiently. Did your girlfriends ever have to fake it? Bummer Maries not a guy. Cause Id like to do something really mean for even suggesting such a ludicrous thing. No, I state emphatically. Ive never, ever, ever had a girl fake it. How would you know? a girl asks, and then, finally, the bell rang. Pure relief pours through me as everyone gets up and heads for the door in disappointment, casting back hopeful looks at me like they want me to come back the next day. Fuck, no! I quickly pull out one of Jessies earphones and hold it up to my ear. Nice music, I tease. Because shes got it so low that I, well, I dont hear anything. Jessie turns a bit red, and then says defiantly, Well, how would you know? How would I know, what? If your girlfriend faked it? She stands up, tugs her work carefully out from under my butt, and starts packing her bag. A lot of girls are loitering around the classroom looking like they want to ask more, but I ignore them. Maybe theyll go away Because maybe your girlfriend did fake it, and you didnt know because you were, well, not concentrating her cheeks are turning a bit pink and she refuses to look at me. Oh, great, this redundant topic again. Sunshine. Read my lips. No. One. Has. Ever. Faked. With. Me. Well, if they faked it really well I hook my fingers in her jeans and tug her against me, staring down at her hotly. Trust me, Sunshine. You may do a lot of shit, but faking with me will never be one of them. I slip my hands into the back pockets of her jeans

and squeeze slightly, just as the teacher who wakes up not when I needed a diversion, but when Im considering the need to prove something to my girlfriend taps me on the shoulder. None of that, Montgomery. Its too inappropriate. Too inappropriate? Fucking hell. Where has she been for the last half hour? Oh, yeah. La-La Land. o0o0o0o0o0o Few more weeks until the party. Few more weeks until the party Im getting really excited about it! I mean, its normally kind of annoying, but this time Ill have a date that hopefully will not be overly intimidated by the girls and will not have any problems raising her skirt (for the view as well) and kicking some overly pampered ass. Bummer Jessies a bit too polite I guess a bit of alcohol should take care of that. Jeez. Im such an awful boyfriend. Sometimes. Im being a really good one right now because okay losing train of thought holy shit does she have a great tongue and hands was I, ah, saying something? Guess not. Out of nowhere, the door swings open. Just wanted to Anne stops short and giggles in embarrassment. Oh. Oops. Forgot that a rubber band around the doorknob meant no interrupting. Youre forgiven. Go away, I beg. Please. Ill name my first kid after you even if its a boy. Jessie detangles herself from me and with a pinch, gets my fingers off the buttons of her jeans. (Hmmm. Howd they get there?) No problem. Whats up? I give a short yell of exasperation, which is muffled as Jessie claps a hand over my mouth. Shut up, Raffie. Yeah? Theres another party. New DJ. Heard hes really good. Its the night before Spring Break. So we can go party, and then stagger onto the plane and sleep. Oh! she exclaims, turning her attention on me. I cant wait! My mother said I could get my dress over there are there any good stores by your house?

Plenty, I answer after getting Jessie to move her hand by licking it. Anne turns back to Jessie with a distinctly feline glint in her green eyes. Oh! And of course, well have to get you a dress. A new one. (Jessie does not look that enthusiastic.) o0o0o0o0o0o The time before that break flies pretty fast. Which is good, because I cant wait till the ball, because I think itll actually be fun this year. I was also looking forward to the club. Had great results the last time, didnt it? However, as fate would have it, a teacher dumped a huge project that was due the day of. Okay, okay not exactly dumped we had a months time to prepare. But in true Montgomery style I waited till the night before. Okay, okay. Morning thereof. Jeez. Usually Im pretty fine with pulling an occasional all-nighter, but now, Im just dead tired, and as Im waiting for Jessie to come by my room to go to the club, a nasty pain starts to form at the base of my skull. Twenty minutes later, the headache is like a living beast. I can practically see a group of small evil dwarves in my head, swinging away with hammers. Theres a particularly loud slamming noise, and it takes a moment for me to realize its external. I turn my head and see Jessies concerned face. I really have a headache, I get out. Im sorry. She lays a cool hand on my forehead and I sigh in relief. You know, Ill stay here. Guys, she says over her shoulder, Im going to stay here. I No, I say with as much force as I can. Just give me a few Advils and Ill be fine. I just need to catch up on sleep. Its pounding so hard that I cant see anything but Jessies face hovering above me looking anxious, and I think everyone in the room can hear it. Jessie looks clearly torn as she fishes in her pocket to come up with foilwrapped pills she usually has on her for emergencies. Cmon, I chide her. Go and celebrate passing every midterm and getting perfect scores on all of them. While I definitely didnt, except for in math. I love cheat sheets. Jessie blinks. I just did them, Rafael. You dont know that. I know you, I say honestly and affectionately. Now scram. And remember, it doesnt matter how drunk you get, you are still getting on that plane tomorrow.

With a scowl, she scrams reluctantly, with lots of glances over her shoulder at me as several girls come in and start dragging her out the room. Ill drop by when I get back! she promises, and then shes out of sight. The door closed softly but firmly behind her, shrouding the room in darkness and deep shadows. I dry-swallow the pills, close my eyes, and just let myself slip under into dreams But theyre not really dreams. More like soft images slipping past me, velvety soft and peaceful and I can feel them, brushing against my face It takes a moment, but I open my eyes. The images are gone, but the touch isnt. My eyes focus quickly as I realize three things. One - my headache is completely gone. Two - Jessies stroking my hair. Three she is well and truly sloshed. Oh, Sunshine, I sigh. The one time I dont go, they just had to spike the drinks, didnt they? She giggles and in one lithe and rather unbalanced move, she straddles my hips and rubs against me. Wasnt that great of them? she whispers, and before I can admit that, truthfully, I really cant complain, shed caught my lips in a hot, deep kiss that assured me that shed drunk a lot of spiked fruit punch. Ive always liked the flavor myself. With sleep and lust fogging my brain, I roll so that Im the one on top, and Ive managed to get her shirt halfway over her head... wait, all the way over, oh damn, lacy bra before I realize whats wrong with me, taking advantage of my drunk girlfriend? True, a particularly enthusiastic one at this point, but shed be horrified when she realizes what shed done, which would be around the same time that the hangover would hit. And that just wont do. I roll back so were lying on our sides facing each other. Were both a bit out of breath. Sunshine, I start, about to launch into a noble speech about selfrestraint that would be a hundred percent bullshit, but she stops the words when she kisses me again, and slides one hand down my body with unerring accuracy. (I think my eyes crossed.) After a shocked pause on my side, I grab her wrist and dislodge her hand, but the damage is done. She smiles sweetly at me, but her gaze is several feet lower than my eyes. Mouse in your pocket?

Oh, God, help me, I breathe, and sit up, trying to figure out how to hold the covers around my waist and get Jessie back to her room at the same time, when theres a brisk knocking on my door. Rafael, dear, are you awake? Ms. Healthgots voice floats through the door. Jessies brain kicks in for a moment, and her face looks panicked. Then alcohol takes over again and she opens her mouth with a goofy look on her face, but I clamp a hand over it, lay back into bed, and shove her down under the covers and frantically try to make it look like the lump was just blanket, and not a drunk Jessie. Yeah, everything okay? Ooh. Kudos to me. My voice didnt shake. But it might have had I realized then that Jessies head just had to be level with, well, the place her hand had been barely a minute ago. Hopefully shes so intoxicated that she wont realize it. Or take advantage of it. Because I certainly realize it hard not to when I can feel every soft warm breath across my bare stomach, my hips where my boxers have been tugged dangerously low for this situation. May I come in for a moment? Oh, great. Just great. But what can I say? Sure, I say, and am about to say more, but end in a quickly stifled gasp as Jessie, under the blanket, drags her tongue along the prominent edge of my hipbone, then sets about to explore the slight hollow underneath, nudging the waistband of my boxers out the way with her chin while I set about trying to keep my breathing light, easy, and steady. I think Im succeeding. Sorta. Ms. Heathgot sticks her head in the room and squints like shes trying to see in the darkness. Have you seen Jessie? I woke up and I didnt see her. Yeah, I have, and right now shes slowly but steadily making her way down my hip. If she goes five more inches to the right were all screwed. I dont have that much self-control. Well, maybe I do, but Id rather not test it (right now). Yeah. She stopped by a few minutes ago to check on me, cause I had a really bad headache earlier. She I pause as my breath hitches. She just hit a sensitive spot I disguise it with a loud clearing of my throat. She said she was going by the vending machine for a midnight snack. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Shes busy snacking on me. And it isnt exactly my pants that are on fire

I shift carefully and, stealthily, get a good grip on Jessies hair and yank. She retaliates by sulkily sinking her teeth into the rather tender skin of that area and scraping stimulatingly, the sensation making a short, delicious trip to my groin. Whoa. My eyes widen and I sit up sharply, reflexively fisting one hand in her hair even harder and the other into the mattress. Are you all right? Ms. Heathgot makes as if to come into the room, but I hastily wave her away and fake-cough. Sorry. Swallowed wrong. I give a few more pathetic coughs. But Jessie should have been back in her room unless shes sitting by the vending machines and eating. She really shouldnt be, cause with the drafty corridors, she could get sick! The last was an alarmed yelp when I realized Jessies shirt was on the floor. Oh shit! She could get sick! Please dont look down Ms. Heathgot looks a bit confused, but she says gamely, Ill go by there to check. I think her getting sick that one time in junior year was enough. She yawns and rubs rather blearily at her eyes. That was horrendous. I still have the nightmares. Yeah, I agree breathlessly. Jessie was now proceeding to suck and nibble at any bare skin she could get her mouth on, and one of her hands was aiming dangerously up my thigh. Thus, it was an incredible relief when Ms. Heathgot left. I yank back the covers and Jessie gazes back at me, all innocent and completely smashed. Sunshine, I say sadly, Im really, really sorry that youre bound to remember this tomorrow morning. Will you be sorry? she giggles again, overcome by her own wit. Hell, no, I admit, and, grabbing her arms, hoist her to her feet and quickly start to propel her out the room and to Ms. Heathgots before she comes back from the vending machines, pausing only to grab her shirt and a sheet to wrap around my waist for the way back. Wouldnt want some poor little chick fresh out of junior high to see me in my current state. She wouldnt know what had hit her. o0o0o0o0o0o

Rafael? I start to roll over onto my back, then decide that it would be better to stay on my stomach. Hey, after what happened last night, no one can begrudge me some morning wood. Yeah? Feel better? Bad hangover? Are you all packed for today? She blinks. Yes, Im packed. No, I dont get hangovers. Bitch. She cracks a smile. Headache? She rubs a hand across my back hard enough that I can actually feel it (I hate half-hearted massages), and I resist the urge to purr. Shes great with her hands. Oh wow mind in the gutter again (assuming that it was ever out of it, of course). Her hand stops moving as she sits carefully on the edge of my mattress. Shes obviously been up for a while and worrying about it. Look. My memories are a bit muddy. What exactly did I do last night? What did you do, or what were you trying to do? She covers her face with her hands. No! Hand back on my back! Now! Oh, God, I knew it. I rub my hand across her back. Subtle hint. Hey. Nothing happened. And whatever did happen, I had absolutely no problem with. No problem at all She shoots me a look that tells me she knows exactly what dirty thoughts are coming into my head. You swear nothing happened? Because my shirt wasnt on right when I woke up. Oh! That. I wave airily. Yes, that. Smartass. You were very um hyped up, shall we say? Sorry about that. All we did was make out, the bare minimum of anything beyond that, and Ms. Heathgot didnt notice anything when she came in. Jessie looks like shes going to faint. She came in? Muddy memory, indeed. Look she swallows nervously. I dont want to make this sound like a definite or anything, but I really, really, really dont want to have sex with you. Well, I mean, I probably shouldnt, I cant. Wont. Shouldnt.

She said all of that in about three seconds, mind you, so it took me about ten seconds to unglue the words. Oh, burn, I murmur after a moment. She turns red and ducks her head. Arg! I didnt mean it like that. Its just that I kind of went far in a previous relationship freshman year and it just was bad, okay? Bad in bed? No, thats not it. She said she was a virgin. Knowing guys, and knowing her, Id guess she probably went down on him, because of the guilt trips and pressuring. Asshole. No! I mean, he kept pressuring me, and I I sat up carefully and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Let me guess. You decided to do something because you felt guilt you werent sleeping with him, and then you felt horrible about it afterwards? Yeah. She was pretty flushed. He transferred out soon afterwards, but it was really bad because some of his friends knew. I mean, they didnt really tease me or spread rumors, but it was still so damn embarrassing. I rest my head against hers. I love vanilla fragrances. Hey, no problem. I understand. I mean, Im not saying I wont but Im not saying I will, she concludes awkwardly. I pause, as if Im absorbing this statement. So, either you will or you wont. Thus, youve said absolutely nothing constructive, except for the fact that youve been thinking about having sex with me. It takes her a moment to realize that Im teasing her, and then she leans back and affectionately socks me in the shoulder. Hard. Okay, so not so affectionately. Im serious! So am I, I respond. Look, we can have fun without going to far. If you dont want to go all the way, thats understandable. If you do please. Tell me. She giggles, and the tension around her dissolved. o0o0o0o0o0o Last chance Anne buries her face further into her book.

Do you have lots of breakable things at your house? I sigh and turn up the volume on my CD player. Are they expensive? Jared groans and buries his face into Evas neck. Can you afford to replace them? Eva grits her teeth. Theyre going to hate me, Jessie concludes mournfully. No, theyre not! All four of us yell, making Jessie jump out of her seat in shock and causing a nearby passenger to accidentally spill his hot tea over his front. He bellows with pain and a nearby stewardess rushes over with napkins and ice while giving us professionally reproachful looks. The rest of the flight home was a bit stilted. Jessie, thankfully, falls asleep, giving us the time and the silence - to fall asleep. At least, thats what I'm told later, because, well, you know me. I always fall asleep on airplanes. So yeah. I get woken up when the airplane is taxiing into well, wherever its parked, and Jessies staring at my face. Pretty, isnt it? I remark sarcastically. What? I just shake my head. If I have to explain it, then never mind. Whats that saying? Oh, yeah. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. No one enjoys it, and the frog usually dies as a result. (Thats gross.) o0o0o0o0o0o Hah. You thought Jessie was bad on the plane? Were picking up our luggage Eva has like three million bags and shes biting her nails. I grab her hand and forcibly yank it down. Bad habit. Since when did you start biting your nails? About two minutes ago, she answers, an almost petulant tone to her voice. Bug off. I roll my eyes, and jump when my cell phone goes off. Oh! Crap. Hold up. I fish my phone out of my pocket, flip it open, and put it to my ear. Yo! Hey, Mum. Where are you?

Im being held up at that charity dinner, she rushes. Im so sorry, Raffie, but I think youll make it to the house before I do. The limo should be waiting outside, and I called Dani, and she agreed to supervise you until I get home. What? Were not effing ten! Mind your language. I realize that, which is my point exactly. There are two horny couples, several beds, and I refuse to be held responsible if anything happens. Now you be nice to Dani, because she was supposed to meet a nice young man for dinner, so well, dont annoy her. She seems a bit on the edge. A date? Dani had a date? Dead silence. Rather ominous, but it didnt totally register. Mum, did you check him out? Does he have any history with the police? Is he nice? Are you sure hes single? Does he have I wince when my mother shrieks into the phone. Owww, Mum, be nice. That was my ear. If you ruin one more date for your poor sister, Im going to to show your girlfriend the photo albums. All of them. Shes old enough to handle men, Rafael. So let her handle them! And, click, she hangs up on me. Oh, damn. Pulling out the big guns, arent we, Mum? I put the phone away and glance at Jessie. Mums running late, so my sister will be at home. I ignore her sudden sag of relief and turn towards the other. Jared is struggling to fit Evas entire luggage onto the wheelie thingy (you know; the carts that cost like three freaking dollars), while Eva and Anne watch him, laughing. Poor guy. I give him a hand, and then tell them, Cars waiting outside. Anyone want to pick up anything to eat? Eva looks too hyped; Annes a picky eater; Jessies too nervous to eat. Im starving, Jared admits. Me, too, I realize. But you guys stuffed yourselves at the other airport, and just ate two trays apiece on the plane as well as every single snack I brought in my bag Jessie trails off. What the hell happened to that food? Jared and I shrug. o0o0o0o0o0o The limo was nice not huge, but definitely a hell of a lot more comfortable than any other mode of transportation. The various buttons entranced Jared,

while Eva and Anne were pouring over the latest Cosmo magazine. Jessie was sitting stiffly next to me, all but radiating nervous energy. I poke her arm. Oh, well. What? I shrug. I was wondering if I was going to get shocked. Relax. I undo her seatbelt shes the only one wearing one and pull her so that shes nestled against my side with one arm around her shoulder and the other one idly tracing random patterns on her thigh. She sighs in contentment and relaxes. Barely. She grabs my hand in a death grip, though, as the car comes to a smooth halt in front of my house. It hadnt taken long, because traffic was low and the stoplights were nice and decided to stay green most of the way. I clamber out, and drag her out with me. Cmon, Sunshine. Its my sister. The curse is only for parents, right? We walk up in a group to the front door, and I reach out my hand to ring the doorbell when a familiar, irate voice calls out, Its open. So get the luggage and haul it in here. Hey, sis. Ive missed you terribly, too! I yell back, a bit aggravated, and open the door. The chauffeur will handle the luggage. In a soft voice, I advise, Guys, she sounds like shes in a bad mood, so introduce yourselves later. Pick whatever bedroom you want, second floor, and Ill have some food and stuff in the kitchen in about fifteen minutes. I heard that! She sounds like shes in the kitchen. I just want to meet the infamous Jessica that Tessas been telling me about. Jessie pauses from where shed been about to run up the stairs. 'Infamous Jessica? she repeats in disbelief. Tessa? I laugh a bit nervously. Dont ask. Please. I start heading to the kitchen, and Jessie catches up and slips her hand into mine. I squeeze reassuringly. We reach the kitchen and Dani turns away from the counter, and her eyes open wide when she sees Jessie. Likewise, Jessie made an odd gasping noise. Jessie, Dani. Dani, Jessie. Not that the introduction was needed. Fascinating, Dani says after a moment. I was kind of expecting a perfect, big-breasted, loud-mouthed, air-headed, slutty girl even though everyones

been telling me you werent. Dont take it personally, but, I mean, look at the guy. Yeah, Jessie admits after a moment of contemplating me. I was expecting a drop-dead gorgeous rich blonde with three ex-husbands. Tense silence. And then, I could just feel the permanent female bond that instantly sprung up between the two. (God help me.) Dani smiles, looking incredibly pleased. Well. Im glad that both of us were wrong. Nope, not blonde, drop-dead gorgeous, and as for the ex-husband the smile turns feral. Who knows? Maybe the guy I was supposed to go out with tonight would have become the first ex-husband, eventually. Yeah, I reply, eyes narrowed. About him. Whats his name? How old is he? Where did you meet him? Where were you going to go on - shit! Fucking hell, sunshine, that hurt! Jessie had just grinded her heel into my foot. Leave your sister alone, she snaps severely. God, you must be the worst brother ever. Oooh, I like her, Dani puts in mischievously. What are you doing with trash like my brother? Oh, shit, Jess. I have got to show you Rafaels photo album its the funniest shit ever. Youll probably dump him in a minute flat. Because Jessie looks far too eager to say yes, I decide its high time to grab her arm, blurt out something about unpacking, and head up the stairs. There were three spare bedrooms and one sofa in a small living room that could easily be turned into a bed. Judging by the yelling, Jared and Eva got ones next to each other; Anne had gotten dibbs on the largest room of them all. Jessie sighs. Dibbs on the sofa. I snort. Dont be an idiot. Ill go on the sofa. Or Ill ask Dani if you can stay in her bedroom, as shes taken a real shine to you. I say it a bit grudgingly. Dani, while being nice to some of them, had never really liked anyone Ive dated before. I didnt realize it until I saw Danis response to Jessie. Jessie gives me a veiled look at the tone of my voice but doesnt comment on it. Instead, she pulls her cell out of her pocket to check the time. Damn! Its already eleven. Im exhausted. A large yawn almost cracks her face in half. Im fine on the sofa. Really. No! I protest. Ill go ask Dani. Ill be right back, okay? Sleep in my room or something. Without waiting for her response, I head back downstairs.

Dani? Yo, Dani. I walk back into the kitchen as shes pouring herself a glass of sprite. Thanks, I say gratefully and drain it. Make some food and drinks for my friends, will you? That was for me. I give a small burp. Well, okay, a really, really loud one. Oh. Sorry. Can Jessie sleep in your room? Or Ill sleep in it so Jessie can stay in my room. Jessie. Dani pulls out a chair, and spins it around to straddle it. I copy her. Shes cool. I mean, I know I talked to her for about two minutes but compared to the last girl you dragged home Bambie? Pammy. Pamela, I mutter. Yeah. Her. Hah! I wince. Whats so funny? Anne asks, and everyone except for Jessie troops in after her. Nothing. Rafaels bimbo of an ex, Dani says at the same time, and considerably louder. Went with her for Junior prom. I bet you got a blowjob that night by the looks of her. You guys want food? Hungry? Thirsty? Talk to me. And introductions are nice. Eva, Eva points at herself, And this here stuffing his face with a sandwich Im afraid he took from your plate is my boyfriend and Annes twin, Jared. Jared, his mouth full with the sandwich Id swiped from Danis plate and handed to him, manages to blush, smile sheepishly, and say hello without stopping his speedy chewing. Dani scowls at her empty plate for a moment before seeming to give up. I guess shes kinda used to it by now. Im Anne, she introduces herself with a smile. Anne Tessa mentioned an Anne Danis face cleared up. Oh! Right. She ignored Annes confused look and my Death Stare. Tessa says shes sorry, but she cant meet all your lovely little friends until later - some photo shoot thing - but shes looking forward to the party. She also says that Jessie would look fabulous in this dress she found in her face screws up. God, I cant remember.

Ill figure it out, Eva assures. How does Tessa know Oh! Pictures. Yup. Dani continues to supply snacks, and slowly everyone warms up and out come the stories, jokes, and events of this year. Dani smiles at the snowball fight, laughs out loud with the pranks I pulled at the boys school, and just about dies when Jared had to bring up me walking into the door. Such love The girls get eager to unpack so that tomorrow they can start getting prepared for the party. Girls literally take days. Its insane. Though Id never admit it out loud, its usually worth it. Theyre leaving the room with me trailing behind when Dani says sweetly, Oh, Rafe? I turn around warily. What? Jessie sleeping in your bed? I shrug even as some delightful images pop up in my mind. Dani smirks. I sure hope you dont have any porno magazines under the mattress. Or wait where else did you hide it? Arent the posters of your bed hollow? I feel my face redden. I hate blushing. Bitch. Theyre not even mine theyre my friends from a few years ago and I just never bothered to get rid of them because they asked me to fuck, why am I even explaining it to you? (That sounded convincing, right?) She just smiles at me. Ruin one more date, and Ill show Mum. You know how she feels about that stuff. I smirk. Then if youll excuse me, I have some recycling to do. What about the DVDs? I stop short. What? DVDs. And Im not talking about the Little Mermaid here. Jesus, what did she do, dissect my room? If you scratch them, Davell kill you. Those arent even mine. And Im telling the truth this time. She stops short. Theyre Davids? I give her a weird look. Yeah. David. Our mutual cousin. Have you not noticed that he lives, sleeps, eats, drinks, and breathes sex? Have you been

living in a hole for the last five years? When she just looks shocked, I reply, Did you seriously think that last Christmas his girlfriend asked him to come upstairs only to find her coat? It doesnt take forty-five minutes to take a coat. She gasps. But that was in my room! That was my bed! I pat her on the arm and say consolingly. Youll get over it. Why, I feign surprise and an innocent tone were there any weird stains later? o0o0o0o0o0o Im woken up by something nibbling at my ear. Groggily, I turn my head away. Theres a low chuckle, and the feeling comes back. I take a swipe at the general direction of the sound. The nibble turns into a nip. Ugh I get out, and open my eyes. Theres only one girl that would be cheerful this early (even if Jessies not a morning person, she definitely is compared to everyone else) and be laying half on top of me. Sunshine. Its five in the morning. I am a morning person. But not when I went to bed at like three. Actually, its more like nine. Get your lazy ass outta bed. Same difference. I try to turn on my side, and would have fallen off the edge of the sofa had Jessie not caught me. And then let me fall. Damn! Awake? I growl up at her. Because did you really think Dani would have let me sleep in her room after that last comment? I was going to ask Jessie to sleep there, so I could sleep in my own bed, but I found Jessie curled up on my bed with both arms wrapped around one of my pillows. That explained why she hadnt come down with everyone else last evening. Is my mum home? Do you know? She shrugs. I woke up when I heard the front door close, and theres a note on the table that says shell be back in a few hours. Were the last two to wake up everyone else has been up for several hours. I grin wickedly as I clamber back onto the sofa and let my hands slide quickly and provocatively along her body. Well, then if everyones gone

Were not gone, says a dry voice. The ladies are going out to get their dresses and figured Jessie would have tried to hide up here with you. Well, I got my tux, so Im fine. But for some reason, my beloved sister and girlfriend have decided that there isnt a single thing in their huge wardrobes that could possibly suit this event. I arch an eyebrow. Dislike shopping much, Sunshine? Detest it, she spits out, and gets up. Its so ow! she yelps with pain as she stumbles against a nearby coffee table. I jump up, concerned. You okay? I oh, she whispers, staring at someone beyond me. I turn around, and coming into the room, looking as bright and chipper as ever is Well, well, well. Curse or coincidence? In a few large steps I give Mum a big bear hug. Why didnt you wake me up last night when you got home? I let go and grin down at her. She smiles back and straightens her perfectly pressed pale ivory suit, plucking at some invisible lint on her shoulder. Oh, Raffie, I didnt want to wake you up. Besides, Id see you in the morning, and Ive already met Jared last night when I caught him trying to sneak into another bedroom. Both Eva and I glare at him (I guess she hadnt expected it), and the ass has an odd combination of embarrassment and smugness on his face. What a dolt. This is Eva, and she was probably the one in the bedroom that Jared tried to get into. Eva turns red but readily returns the embrace and shoots Jared a few more Death Stares over Mums shoulder for good measure. This is Anne, Jareds twin Oh, poor dear. Wheres your significant other? Anne blushes. Not in my life, she admits very softly. One day, my mother amends, smiling at her fondly. Mums always had a soft spot for shy people. Dude. I cant wait for Tessa to get her butt here, but knowing her, shell be too busy over this week except to come to the ball. Well, hell, the better for her to make an unforgettable entrance, right? She loves the drama, and I have no doubt that Anne will be er. an object of any dramatics.

And you must be Jessica! Mum turns around, her whole face lighting up with a smile. Obviously, Mums been itching to meet her. Jessie shoots me a look of total terror. I give her a chiding look, and then reach out an arm just in time to keep her from tripping over her own feet as she hesitantly walks forward. Damn, Ive never seen her do that. Mum wraps her up in a hug that rivals the one she gave me. Ive been so excited to meet the girl that has Rafael tied all around her finger! (Oh, bullshit.) Jessie also has a rather incredulous look on her face. I dont um, she stammers uncertainly. We just You just nothing! The stories Ive heard about you two. Im just happy that you seem to be a very responsible person, exactly the kind of girl my son needs. And who knows? Maybe youll rub off on him, and hell actually get his drivers permit. Every time he goes into the test the female teachers end up in hysterics! Awww. Thanks, Mum. Everyone just needed to know that. Sure enough Jared looks ready to rag on me, Evas primly holding back a smile, Anne looks amused, and Jessie laughs so hard she snorts. Which, of course, sets the rest of us off laughing while a red-faced Jessie leaves the room, somehow managing to topple over a lamp near the door so it hit the ground and scattered into a million pieces. From the look on her face so did her confidence. Oh, no! she wails in complete misery. I can practically read her mind: Stupid curse! Why am I here? She hates me! Damn it, was that Tiffanys?(Which it was but I wont admit it.) How much does that cost? Why me? Ill kill Rafael for putting me through this. Did I make him meet my parents? No, of course not! So why do I have to meet his? Why cant I show up to the party on my own? Oh, crap. Eva and Anne wince together. Jared snickers. (I should probably stop laughing now. Ah, well, theres always later) Mum, thank God, swooped in, grabbed Jessie by the arm, and pulled her out the room, saying something about the lamp being an ugly old thing, anyways, and that the two of them should go shopping together to bond more (I guess thats a good thing), and sending me a look that said clearly, You laugh, you clean.

I stop laughing, but I still end up cleaning. All by myself.Dear Diary, Its been an interesting day. Well, I slept in Rafaels room, woke up a bit late, and snooped around. I feel kind of guilty, but I console myself with the thought that Rafael would probably do the same thing. Hes that kind of curious guy. He has this huge mess of random papers all over his bookshelves. Underneath the piles, much to my surprise, are actual books. Theyre mostly mysteries, science fiction, thrillers, and some classics that look like theyd just been taken off the press. I found old school work all over, and the grades I saw on some of those papers struck true terror in my heart. Hell, there was a fucking twelve on some test. What does that tell you? That goes past stupidity to laziness. He has his own bathroom, with a jumble of shampoos and a few towels that are neatly folded on the toilet seat. His clothes are unorganized in his drawer, and he also has a box of condoms in one of them. An opened, half empty one. I didnt know if I should laugh, roll my eyes, or feel jealous. I did a bit of all three in the end. He also has some porn inside his bedpost, but it was a damn good hiding place, so I have to give him points for creativity. I found that when I accidentally knocked off the top of one of the bedposts; the other one, which I checked later, was empty. The least I can say is it looked like he hadnt really read/looked at them. Not that I leafed through them; I just looked at the pristine cover, found a post-it on his desk, a pen under the bed, and wrote a little something. If he ever refuses to meet my stare, Im going to assume he read it. But about the whole meet-Rafaels-mum thing it wasnt supposed to end in a bonding session! Oh, man. Oh man oh man oh man oh man that has to have been the most insane whatever Ive ever been on. Shopping expedition for a freaking formal dress with my boyfriends mom with whom I am cursed. Cursed. Lets say it again. Cursed! Cursed, cursed, cursed. What was that, God, punishment for cheating on that Calculus test last year? So cruel. Sue me; I only did it once. I mean, it wasnt bad but it did have some awkward moments. She drags me around the house, snatching up a purse and dumping in make up, tissues, keys, a cell phone, and other oddities. I was babbling about how I would clean up after and pay for the lamp, when she turned around and says loud and clear:

Rafael can clean it up. Its justice for all the times he broke things when his father got him that baseball bat when he was five. And, love, no need to pay. This trip is on us. I really think that if it hadnt been for you, he would have never passed a single class. Hmmm. Thats true. And he did laugh at me. So when she told me to put on my shoes and grab a light coat, I did so in this trance of gratefulness. Until, of course, I found myself bundled into a car and headed straight to some boutique where I expected a five hundred dollar fee for staring at the display windows with an open mouth. In between outlying how she planned the party and the surprise for Rafael, she kept trying to push dark, shimmering dresses on me, like dark green, different shades of gold and bronze, but I copped out and grabbed this random cute-looking confection of some black silky material and pretty much declared it my Muse. Yeah, Muse for freedom. It was cute. Very cute... until I tried it on. Its made out of so much material, yet somehow, I feel naked in it. It must be the fact that theres no back to it whatsoever or maybe that thigh to bottom slit or that the halter-top part shows off what breasts I have very er, explicitly? But, God help me, its the most gorgeous dress Ive ever seen. Damn, does it look hot! I mean, my legs look fantastic in that thing! I should know. I think I stared at my reflection for about twenty minutes while striking a million different poses. Im not ashamed or too modest to say that Rafael will be knocked backwards a few paces when he sees me. And if he doesnt, a good kick to the knee with my new heels should produce the same effect. So, all in all, I guess it was a very good day, indeed. That is, ignoring the fact that twenty alarms went off when I accidentally toppled a mannequin into the window. And the fact that I tripped twice. Or that very minor incident where I accidentally jammed the lock to one of the changing rooms and manager had to tackle it with a crowbar. It wasnt super expensive... just a few hundred. As in, over five. Which isnt really bad because some of these things go for thousands. Its insane. I really hate to owe Anne even more money because shes the one that paid for the trip here. I figured Id be able to pay her back by the time Im forty, perhaps? Rafael did offer to pay for that flight ticket but I told him my mom paid. Damn it I owe Anne probably around a thousand. I will pay her back. I swear. Someday.

Rafael was out when I got to his house. I mean, I found where the hidden keys were (there was a small birds nest under a curtain of ivy hanging out in the window and the nest looked a bit fake I did a paper on bird habitats a few years back), so I went upstairs, got my dearly beloved diary, and went to a nearby bar place. Its really cute. The bartender was really friendly, and when I said I was Rafaels girlfriend, I got a free drink. Which is illegal, but whatever. The reason the drinking age is so high is because of stupid irresponsible people, of which Im not. At least, not when Im sober. Hah. His dad is an utter sweetheart. Met him when I tripped down the stairs. Rafael may have gotten his looks and charm from his mother, but the randomness was definitely from him. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o Dad was home from his business trip when I logged off of my email account after visiting a bunch of friends around the area. It was cool to catch up, but I was a bit surprised at how much I didnt miss them. I realize that I have a lot of fun friends, but not the real keepers. Then again, Im picky I have Tessa, Jessie, my cousin Dave, Alex, and maybe Jared. I dont know. Never really thought about it, really. I escaped Dads greeting hug with my hair sticking up in twenty different directions and two twenties to buy Jessie some flowers. Dads old-fashioned like that sometimes. I mean, all I have to do is steal some flowers from Mums garden I stuck the money in my pocket, anyway. I do try not to turn down free money. Its not like the stuff grows on trees or anything. So howd the trip go? He shrugs. Eh. Its work. Hows school? Its Great! Perfect! Ideal! Well, pretty good. For school. He nods knowingly. I remember when I was in high school. I had this thing for a blonde girl, but I never thought shed notice me. But one day Have you met everyone yet? I dont mean to interrupt him rudely, but if I hear the story about him and Mum meeting one more time, Im going to claw a hole through the wall with my bare hands. Not that its a bad story; its pretty cute and all, but not when its been drilled into your head for years and years. I even learned how to recite the story backwards. (Children wonderful two had and married got we and)

I met your friends, and Jessie, he adds with a distinct twinkle in his eyes. She dropped by here after the shopping, and dropped near me. Literally. Took a bit of a tumble down the stairs when she saw me. Shes fine, he hurries to add when he sees my shock. Shes a little angel, that girl. Popped right back up, bright red and barely a scratch on her. She wasnt anywhere near the top, and you know those stairs are thickly carpeted. Well, at least, they were after the time you tried to ride down using Danielles computer chair. Angel? Hah. And I remember that computer chair incident. The scars went away after about five years. Danis chair wasnt so lucky, but I tell myself that she was so happy I hadnt broken my neck thats he didnt care about that chair. The seven hundred dollar chair. That she loved. But it was so worth it. Is she always that awkward? Dad asks after a moments hesitation. Eh not really, actually. I dont explain it to him. She just has her moments. I pause. But you do? Like her, that is. Yes, of course I do. Why? Why what? I dont think youve ever asked me what I thought about your girlfriends. Except for that time you asked me in first grade if you could marry that girl next-door with the braces and red curls. She got engaged last week, did you know that? No. She was also about eight years older than me. Do you want to marry No! Jesus, Dad! Youre going to make me break out in hives! I roll my eyes in disgust and turn around to do something worthwhile, like stuff my face with everything I can find in the refrigerator. Oh, and Rafael? he calls from his room a minute later, sticking his head round the doorjamb to look down at me from the second floor balcony. Yeah? You left a shirt under the sofa at the ski lodge. They shipped it here, and I put it in your closet.

Mmm. Kay. Thanks. I thought your mother wouldnt like that one; you had forgotten that expensive shirt, two; that you were at the lodge, and that three; there was a peach lip gloss container in the pocket. I really doubt that youve ever used that in your life, hmm? I freeze, a suave answer to the first two reasons stuttering on my suddenly clumsy tongue when I realize that it had probably been found under the sofa after it had been taken off Jessies back and tossed there on that last night. I ah. Dad winks and pulls out of sight. o0o0o0o0o0o Where is she? is the first thing that Dave asks when I open the door. Eva and Anne are shopping around, leaving Jared and me with nothing to do expect play video games. Sad, but hey, Im not complaining. Jessies somewhere. I think shes still with Mum. God help us all. I contemplate slamming it shut in his face for that awful welcome, and decide, what the hell? Why not? So I slam the door. Dave doesnt ring the bell again. Instead, I hear a scraping noise, and then he unlocks it. Extra key sets: go to hell. I brace my shoulder against the door and dig in my heels, but he manages to squeeze in, laughing. Fucking loser, he greets me, putting me into a headlock while I squirm to no avail whatsoever. Damn him. Whats up? David is just weird. I mean, but so is everyone in my family, so sometimes I feel like the odd one out. Im not weird at all, of course. Hes I dont know. I think hes kind of scrawny (but stronger than me, go figure), but hes probably had about seven times the amount of girls Ive had a mystery in life I no longer can be bothered to try to solve. Not that I didnt try frantically when I was younger and stupid. (Stupider.) (Oh, God, Im thinking like Jessie.) Girls are out, Jareds here. Eh, Dave grunts, running a hand through his short dark hair, and obviously losing any interest in meeting my friends. Tessa just wanted to know if

Annes really as hot as she looked. I just want food. And I want my damn DVDs back. DVDs? I feign innocence. His eyes narrow. I gave them to you for safekeeping. Really? Rafael. I bite my lip without thinking and knew from the scorching glare that Im busted. Dani found them. She went over my whole damn room with a microscope when I left. Go wrestle for them with her. He actually looks a bit heartbroken. Its no use. She probably microwaves DVDs that she steals from poor, unsuspecting people. Ill go ransack her apartment later. Finally managed to get a hold of her spare key set and made copies without her knowing. You can buy one off of me for a hundred bucks. A hundred? I yell. You want the keys or not? he nods knowingly when I scowl. I thought so. But enough about her. You. You silly idiot. Got to dorm with a girl, I heard. Uh Is she good in bed? Eh He stares at me for a moment. Did you sleep with anyone? Er Okay. Who are you and where the fuck is my cousin? He looks a bit scared, too. Maybe I should start twitching and repeat system failure a couple times and then go back to normal. Peer pressure, David, peer pressure, I mutter. Ease off. Not everything revolves around sex, you know? Just drop it, man. But, in a trait Ive never seen in anyone else to such an extreme degree, he appears to forget what was going on and his mind skips to the track that

comes after sex: food. He ambles towards the kitchen, and I mentally remind myself to tell Mum that were out of everything. She got every DVD? Oh, well, still partially on the sex track. I guess so. I pad after him into the kitchen and wince when I see him take about five apples. He sticks one into his mouth and brushes past me on his way to the stairs, mumbling around the fruit in his mouth: But yeah. If I cant find at least one DVD, Im going to flirt with your little ray of sunshine every chance I get. Im in a really good position to kick him hard enough in the back of his knee that it buckles, and he went down, apples flying from his arm. He yelps and catches three of them and stumbles over the fourth. Oh, hell no, man! Not when theres food around! He leaps up and dashes up the stairs, me hard on his heels. He barges into my room. I can hear Jared playing videogames a few doors down; by the bloodcurdling yells, I think its a safe bet to say hes losing. Dave spins around, hands on hips. Such a fucking mess. He pauses, breaths in. Something smells good. Hmm. What indeed? I walk to my bed and stick my nose in my pillow. Love that shampoo of hers Jessie slept here last night. A cocked eyebrow. Alone. A sigh. Where did you hide them? Racking my brain, I started to strategically search through my hiding places. First, I focused on the DVDs hidden behind my drawers, under my mattress, and inside a particularly messy heap of homeworks haha, just kidding old tests from middle school. They were all gone. However, the one taped to the bottom of a shelf, hidden inside a Christmas Carol CD case (me and my dirty mind coal again) and inside my computer chair were still there. The latter, actually, is quite easy. Carefully slice open along the seam, remove some stuffing, insert undesirable object. Works like a charm. Here you go. I hand him the DVDs. Dani also got the damn magazines. She looked in the bedposts.

Dave sighs heavily. There is no justice. He reaches out and pulls off the top of one, and peers inside. Yup. He reaches out for the second one, and tugs. Nothing happens. It glued or something? Nah, just stuck. He tugs harder, and it pops out, causing him to stumble back a step before he catches his balance. He looks inside and laughs. Hey! Score for the jammed top! He reaches in, and pulls out a glossy magazine. He stares at the cover for a moment, and something a bit too evil to truly call a smile creeps across his face. Hey, Rafe. What? He shows me the magazine. It takes a moment to register that the blondes top heaviness was blocked by a post-it. A yellow one. And, because Im sure none of you know why this worries me, let me tell you what was written on it: Raffie, Well. I guess this explains the low test grades. Thank you for the good laugh. Jessie Can anyone say embarrassing? You have no fucking luck, Rafe, Dave chortles gleefully. Okay. That does it. Im going to smack him till the magazine falls apart. I snatch the magazine out of his lax grip, roll it up, and draw back my arm to swing at the annoyingly thick skull when a familiar voice says almost shyly, I always figured he had too much luck. I spin around, shoving the magazine into my back pocket in one moment pretty damn smooth considering Id nearly just jumped out of my skin. Shes right outside the doorway, looking a bit uncomfortable and timid. Oh! Sunshine! Thought you were with Mum. Oh, right. Dad had said shed come back. She shrugs. We got back an hour ago. I went out to look around and got a drink. Fake I.D.? I tease.

No. Theyre illegal. The bartender knows you. I chuckle. Shell say the I.D. is illegal but still break the law. Hypocrite. Right. That place. When I see Jessies eyes dart curiously from my face to Dave, I realize that Id neglected introductions. Oh. Right. Sorry. Sunshine, this is- Dave, my oh-so-lovable cousin cuts in smoothly, stepping forward with a devil-may-care grin on his face. You must be Jessie. Uh-huh, Jessie says, sounding a bit breathless. She sticks out her hand, and I roll my eyes when, instead of shaking it, Dave turns it over to kiss the back of it. Well, that is, roll my eyes till I see the deep blush that starts at her cheekbones and works its way out. Ugh. That was the corniest move ever. Apparently, Jessie disagrees. Look. I really dont get it, but Dave just gets girls. I really dont know how else to put it. Hes not lacking in the looks department, but theres no excess, either. Yet somehow, the guy has more pounds of charm than even well me. (See? I said it without gagging.) (Insert gag.) I didnt mean to interrupt, Jessie was saying quickly, still red, still sounding out of breath. I just wanted to mention that I was - She stops. Looks at something past both of us. Smiles that same evil little smile that Dave had been wearing a minute ago. I glance behind me. Oh, right. Wed left the bedpost open. I turn back around, aware that there were probably stains of red coming up along my cheeks. I hate blushing. Some people can blush and pull it off, but I blotch. Hey. Cant be perfect. Distraction time. Howd it go with you and Mum? I terrorized the store, she answers breezily. But I got the sexiest dress ever, so I guess its all good. And heels. Heck, now Im distracted. Really? Any chance of a preview? (The dress and the heels? Just the dress? Just the heels?)

She tilts her head, chews on her bottom lip, and adopts a facial mask of pure concentration, like shes pondering a life-and-death decision. Minx. Tease. Um no. Besides, Im sure that pictures of statuesque, nude women are way hotter. Right. That. About that thing. Yes? Jessie says in a sugary-sweet voice, any traces of her earlier blush gone, probably in her enjoyment in watching me squirm. Interesting bedside reading. Learn anything worthwhile? Dave coughs gently, fist in front of his mouth, but the laughter was pretty obvious on his face as he shoots me an amused look that clearly said, the women in your life, Rafe Jessie glances at him. Dont laugh at your hapless cousin. You probably gave him the damn thing. Unlike Dave, I dont even try to hide the laugh when his head whips around to stare at her in shock. Because, actually, he had. Damn, is the only thing he says. Then, a moment later: Wait. I didnt. Its not even his. Oh, really? N-no, he stammers. Its my friends. My really good friend. His mom was going to clean his room out for college and he needed someone to well, he needed a place for it. So he hid one magazine. Here. Well, no, Dave interjects. He gave some to every friend. Really. Yeah. Dave sounded a bit miserable now. Yes, I want to yell, your story sucks serious balls. For shame. Hes usually pretty handy with outrageous stories that somehow always work out. Whats your friends name? Clancy, Dave decides, exactly when I say, Peter. Jessie looks like she well I cant tell. Usually, I can, but now, she actually has a damn good poker face. Is she pissed at me? Laughing at me? Disappointed? Confused? This is fucking awkward. No, I hurry. Peters the one who gave it to me. Clancy is the other dude. You know. Oh, Dave replies, looking a bit nonplussed.

(Silence.) Well! Jessie chirps brightly. Nice meeting you, Dave. Id wondered if it runs in the family at all. Im going to go play video games with Jared. And after that, were going to some salon. Catch you later. She turns on her heel and cheerfully bounces off. Huh, Dave grunts. Hmm, I mutter. (Another silence.) What did she mean, runs in the family? Beats me, I admit. She can be kind of weird sometimes. But the party starts in I check my watch. Damn. Five hours. Kay. Im out of here. He hesitates. Jessie I have to admit, shes interesting. Kinda cute. Sweet blush. Smart sense of humor Nice ass. Oh, get the hell out, I snap, and, retrieving the rolled up magazine from my pocket, I smack him over the head until he evacuates my room. o0o0o0o0o0o Dear Diary, Two hours till the party and I have a zit on my chin la la la someones going to die Eva better find her damn concealer. Or it may be her on whom I take out all of my perfectly righteous anger But my hairs perfect. It was too short to do much with, so the stylist decided to twist the front sections back and curl them, add some pretty hair pin that sparkled A LOT and trim the rest. Pretty. Mrs. Montgomery Annabelle, Im supposed to call her shes just awesome. I mean, she can be fuzzy, but shes got a sharp mind. She just doesnt bother showing it. She stayed with us the whole time, talking and laughing while we went for haircuts, manicures, pedicures, everything. Kind of wish my mom was like that. Jessie o0o0o0o0o0o For the hundredth time, I fiddle with the open collar of my white shirt, having long snuck off the ridiculous tie and black jacket. I look formal enough with the plain whit top tucked into my black pants, and hot enough with the top two buttons open.

I hate to admit it, but I, Rafael Montgomery, am nervous. Yeah. Nervous. Why? Because I dont know. Well, yes, I do know, but it doesnt make sense. Why would I be nervous about seeing Jessie? Its about half an hour into the party, and the girls are taking forever. Jared is trying to charm my mother into giving him another glass of champagne, and Im hiding behind one of the pillars. Theres a stupid leaf from the nearby tree that keeps poking me in the back of the neck, but Im too scared to move. In a moment, I think Ill just snap the whole branch off. Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I jump. Why are you hiding? Jared asks in confusion. The black-haired girl, the one in the red silk dress, I hiss. She keeps trying to grope my ass whenever she walks by. And she walks past me every two minutes! Jared snickers. So much for sympathy. Where the hell are the girls? he asks. I swear, theres like a billion people here, Im kind of nervous that weve lost them or something. Besides, we had another fight and I want to say - Not really paying attention to Jareds recounting of his many sins, I peep around the pillar, and twitch violently when I find myself face to face with Eva. Oh my fucking God, I snap, my voice a bit higher than normal. Where the fuck did you come from? She rolls her eyes. Potty mouth. Just warning you, Annes right behind me, so dont shit in your pants. Didnt know you scared so easily. She came around, and I saw her eyes light up in appreciation as she ogles Jared. Eva, Im so sorry I said She kisses him. And keeps kissing him. Okay. Awkward moment turning into moments will turn into minutes unless I do something Ill just take Annes arm and leave the two of them alone What did they fight about? Anne asks. Since the exact same question had been about to come out of my mouth, I close it and shrug. Id kind of hoped you would know. They seem like the perfect couple. I dont think Ive ever heard them fight. Ever. I mean, not since theyve started going out. Do you think that ouch! Hey! Someone had just pinched my butt with some serious force. I spin around, furious. If its that red-silk-dress girl Im going to

Well, it certainly was a dark-haired girl in a red silk dress. But this one can pinch my ass any time she wants. Tessa! She flings her arms around my neck and hugs me for a rather long time, until I realize its not because shes particularly missed me, but because shes probably busy sending sultry looks at poor, unsuspecting Anne. I nudge her off me and straighten my shirt out. Its nice to see you care about me, I remark. Oh, dont be upset because I didnt visit you earlier, she admonishes airily, eyes still fixed on something (someone) over my shoulder. I raise my eyebrows. Why on Earth would I be upset over that? She pouts, and Im pretty sure that at least fifteen people looked longingly at those full, dark red lips. She raises a long, slender eyebrow and bats thick eyelashes artfully plied with mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and whatever else she could possibly paint on. On some girls it would be O.D., but Tessa just looks like she should be on the next cover of Vogue. Which, Im quite sure, she will be. Arent you going to introduce us? Bad idea! My common sense yells at me. Do it! My inner devil urges. Okay. Common sense versus my inner demon. This will take years to determine the victor. Anne, this is one of my most special friends. Tessa, play nice. I hiss under my breath. Im always nice, Tessa replies without even bothering to lower her voice. Oh, lie. Bullshit, I snap. What about Conner? Ninth grade? She gives a slow, feline smile. Annes been watching the exchange in avid interest. Whos Conner? My ex-girlfriends older brother. Oh Anne trails off when she obviously processes the second word in its entirety. Wait. Girlfriend? Mmm-hmm. Tessas eyeing Anne with an inscrutable expression on her face and then it vanishes. So. Im guessing you probably have many stories about Rafael you can tell me. Because he refuses to tell me about Jessie.

But youve never really asked, I interject in confusion, but its too late. Annes face lightens with humor, and then proceeds to spill out the whole damn story right from the start, adding things that make me cringe. Tessa gives her undivided attention, except for the get lost looks she sends my way occasionally. Well, it all started when Rafael had to stay in Jessies room. He thought she was the biggest nerd. He was going after the biggest I hold my ground. Tessa and company always needs a chaperone. And no, I didnt pull this out of my ass. I know this from experience. Daves old girlfriend isnt the only girl to have mysteriously lost articles of clothing around my house. Yessiree, nothing at all will make me move Tessa interrupts Anne. Sorry. Hold up. Rafael? Yeah? Is that Jessie getting hit on over there by that hunk of male testosterone? I glance over. Theres a tall girl chatting with an old high school classmate. I cant see her face, but shes wearing a backless dress, and her back is smooth and angular. The slit in the skirt shows some serious nice leg, and shes leaning in flirtatiously. Nope. Not Jessie. Way too out there. Nah, thats Wait a moment. My head snaps back as the girl tilts her head in a familiar manner and then throws her head back in a laugh, her dark brown hair tumbling back over her shoulders. Very familiar dark brown hair. Well, fuck. Completely forgetting that I was staying by Tessa and Anne for a reason, I head without a second thought to the couple. So, howd you get invited to this? I would definitely remember you if At which point, I slid an arm across her bare back, turn her towards me, and make it pretty damn clear to anyone thats watching that the reason shes invited was because shes dating the son of the hostess. Boo, I whisper in her ear. Dont do that in public anymore, she teases with an unreserved grin. My boyfriend gets really jealous, and hes supposed to be around here somewhere.

You look gorgeous, I tell her, and she blushes. Should have guessed, the guy mutters ruefully. No need to ask how youve been. I forgive you, I mock lightly. Hmmm. I know this guy. He was in my English class a year ago, and hes on the football team. As I was on volleyball and soccer, I dont exactly recall his name. Or right. Kevin. Hows it going? Good, good he shrugs. School sure got a helluva lot quieter without you. No more exploding objects, teacher hysteria, and less cat fights. I purse my lips. Ah. Sounds boring. Yeah, you can say that. Jessie sighs. Dont encourage him, Kevin. Please. Weve had enough exploding objects, teacher hysteria, and well, no real catfights. Thats good. Ahem. I beg to differ. She glares at me. Marie and I were not fighting over you. Dont confuse a wet dream with reality. I roll my eyes. But of course not. You were fighting over volleyball. Keep telling yourself that if its how you sleep at night. Can anyone say married couple? Shut up, Kev, I rejoin. o0o0o0o0o0o The party got a bit boring after a while. Im sick of looking after Tessa and Anne (they always seem to be. innocently conversing. Its really weird), talking to old friends, and fending off girls. Jessie nearby certainly helps, as in high heels she does have a rather intimidating height. I mean, theyre not four inches or anything; shes nearly the same height as I am. Jessies talking to some guy thats more interested in looking down her dress. I start to walk over, but the guys girlfriend catches him and descends in a fury. Jessie quickly backs up, shooting a panicked look in my direction. I guess she hadnt noticed hed been interested. Go figure. She catches my eye and gives a sheepish, apologetic shrug. I grin.

She points at me and rolls her eye in a clear message how typical of a guy. I drop my gazer down, then back up. She gives me an exasperated look. I make a vee shape with my pointer and middle finger, bring them up to my mouth, and dart my tongue between them a few times. She turns scarlet. As life goes, Dani is nearby watching the whole thing. She has the most insane timing, I swear. Rafael Montgomery! What? I ask innocently. You have problems, Dani says finally after struggling for the words. Not in that area, I shoot back. Danis fingers tighten around the stem of the wineglass shes holding. The glass is full, and Im wearing a white shirt that doesnt bode well. So I decide that its high time I clear the area for a few minutes, no? Hence, after locating her by the Martinelli bottles, I drag Jessie to explore the extent of the rented space. Outside the main room, its a pretty network of small halls, private rooms, lounges, and ridiculously luxurious bathrooms. What is this? Jessie asks. When I push open the door, she gasps. I cant blame her; theres a balcony that overlooks the main ballroom, and theres a door leading off of it into a small, private ballroom, not much larger than the dorm Jessie and I (used to) share. But its still pretty gorgeous, with a mural on the ceiling and the floor highly polished. Theres no furniture in it, and when I close the door, none of the chatter can be heard, but the strains of the music still float through the closed entrance. Its a private dance room, I explain, smiling at her. Her mouth is slightly open as she glances around, seeming particularly enamored of the paintings. I put a finger under her chin and close her mouth. She blushes. Its really nice, she explains. Uhhuh. Whatever you say, Sunshine. No, really! she says so earnestly that I cant help but laugh. Ms. Goody Two Shoes over here. Shell notice the art, but not the fact that right now were totally cut off from everyone else and in a small room that no ones going to come in.

I step towards her as faint strains of a more dramatic piece reach my ears. She looks confused. I hold out a hand, smiling devilishly. Dance? It sinks in, finally, that were alone. She gulps. Um I take a step forward when she takes one back. Cmon, I cajole. One ittybitty dance. Can you dance? No, she lies. I can. I can teach you. In fact, I would love to teach you. I point out. Im a great dancer. Of course I am she should have guessed it already. Why? she asks, suspicious. Youre that good? Yeah, I admit without shame. Mum made me take dancing classes for a few years. Two years ballet, one year ballroom, and then she finally let me do hip-hop. She blinks. Ballet? I sigh. Typical reaction. Ballet wasnt bad at all; being the only guy in the class, I got to dance with the most talented girls wearing only tights and a leotard. And boy, were my abs ripped. I step away and pli, then go up on tippy-toe as well as I can in these shoes and turn gracefully, extending my arms over my head. When I look at her again, she has this exasperated look on her face. What? I demand. Is there anything you cant do? she asks, then snickers. Cooking. I distinctly remember having this conversation before. Mum tried to make me take cooking lessons, but Id balked. I never had incentive, because its not like Id cook for a girl or anything; Im more the type to take her to a quietly expensive restaurant. And if need be, Ill order take-out and hide the boxes. Theres this window in the kitchen out of sight of the dining room, and the delivery guy can just pass it through the window quietly Im sure theres something I cant do. Not that I would admit it or anything to myself, okay, but never out loud. What Im sure I can do, though, is show you a few simple steps Not. She so knows how. She gives in. No, you really dont have to. I know how to dance. She admits it grudgingly, as if knowing how to ballroom dance is somehow bad. Dunno how; I mean, I like hip-hop a lot better, but obviously, knowing the

foxtrot and swing dancing does have its uses. Not that Id ever admit it to Mum. I thought so, I say smugly. Dance? Only if you never tell anyone, she orders. Ive gotten out of many a formal dance by pleading ignorance. Eva wouldnt be particularly happy if she found out Ive been lying to her all along. Scouts honor. You werent a scout, remember? Right. o0o0o0o0o0o Dancing didnt last very long. Not that Im complaining. We got a few fancy moves in, but it was the dip that kinda got us distracted. I was perfectly in control, but a laughing Jessie thought it would be interesting to see if she could kiss me and not get dropped on her back. Experiment failed. I did say theres no back to the dress, right? Its a halter-top. In other words, it was ridiculously easy for me to undo the neat little knot that was positioned strategically under her hair so that the dress looks pretty seamless. I dont think she even noticed it, but just in case, I just leave it undone while I keep my hand against the small of her back. The other hand isnt as stationary. Nor are hers shes managed to tug out my shirt and slide her hands up my chest. She pulls away for a moment, and I feel the heady surge when I realize that her pupils are completely dilated. I press a string of kisses against the corner of her mouth, trail them along her jaw, and drag them down the column of her neck, urged on by the low vibrations in her throat and kneading hands. I reach behind her again and slowly start to tug it out the way, revealing her collarbones, the smooth expanse of skin directly beneath that, and finally, finally her Oh, my God. Im going to go blind! Damn that familiar voice that belongs to that familiar personI get to my knees quickly, blocking Jessie, whose hands had flown up to cover the amount of skin Id managed to uncover. Oh, hell no. Dani, if you dont get out of here right now

I mean, seriously. Jessies not even wearing a bra. She rolls her eyes, and then fixes her gaze on the ceiling. I really oh, wow. Nice paintings. Right. Mum sent me to go look for youtwo because youd been gone a while. I figured you would have gone for the most private place, and what do you know? I feel Jessies body shaking behind me. Couldnt you have taken your time trying to find us? I retort. Like, two to three hours? Or is that too much to ask? Danis face contorts in disgust. Three hours? You wish. I cant believe Im related to you. Thats so sick. And I didnt take my time trying to find you because then you guys would have been in an even more compromising situation than you already were. I mean, you were feeling up her - Get out! I yell. She does so with a long-suffering sigh, pulling the door closed behind her and leaving behind her so-called word of wisdom. (Dump him while you still can, Jess) I turn around, ready to face Jessies wrath but instead, shes laughing her ass off at me. Your face she gasps out. Ive never seen you so red! I wince. Something about getting caught with a girl by my prissy sister just gets to me. Thanks. Thanks a lot. She snickers. I guess it could have been worse. Like your mom. An excellent point. With obvious embarrassment, she struggles with fastening her dress. I give a small half-smile. Turn around. Since I undid it, I might as well tie again. She does so, blushing even harder, and I easily fasten it. Want me to tuck in your shirt? she half-teases. Bad idea for your hands to be in that area right now, I mutter under my breath, fix it myself, and grab her hand. Well, lets socialize before Dani has to come back again. She follows reluctantly. Im going to kill Dani. o0o0o0o0o0o

Whats even worse? Well, I figured Id try to sneak back into the main room, but no sooner did I open a side door and slip in, dragging Jessie after me, did everyone in the room and Im talking a more than probably three hundred people here turn around, smile brightly at me, and start singing Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs. Oh, fuck, I mutter, but plaster a smile on my face. Hey, my birthday is three weeks away. Id figured it was too much of a stretch Jessie just whimpers in total embarrassment and tries to sneak back out the room, but I turn around, lock an arm around her waist, and tug her back into the spotlight. Keeping my lips stretched in a knockout smile, I grit out from behind clenched teeth, You so knew about this. So suck it up and die of mortification with me. Which I nearly did several times by the time my mother waves everyone to silence. Being that this party has fallen a bit later in the year than it usually does, weve decided that it would also be in honor of our beloved sons eighteenth party. Oh, her face goes a bit dreamy, Its felt like such a short time. I remember your first bicycle ride he rode into a tree and the first sex talk he knew a lot more than Mum! An agonized shout can be clearly heard over the laughter. It takes a moment for me to realize that the voice is mine. Dani has a hand over her mouth and her face is turning bright red I think shed been swallowing some champagne and then started laughing. Ill help her if she turns purple, but not a moment before. She was probably in on it, too. Serves her right. My father, bless him, quickly raises his voice as far as it will go. Which isnt very far, but people hush. Because I realize this type of party isnt really Rafaels favorite, we have a little something for you planned. As some of you may have noticed, there are an abnormal amount of teenagers. A few laughs. Hmmm. There are. The basement has been decorated for a private party for you. Dad moves to the heavy, sound-proof door that leads to the stairs to the basement, and opens it. The infectious beat of Shake by the Ying Yang Twins pours out hard enough to have some older-generation people cringing. The DJ has been hired for until four in the morning, so have

Anything else is lost as a huge group of girls and guys descend on us and sweep towards the stairs, yelling and laughing at the top of their lungs. Jessies laughing, and I look at her, a huge grin on my face. You know about this? Of course! Jessie giggles. Why else do you think I got a dress with such a high split? Perks of intelligent girlfriends. Haha. Yo, Dave catches up, and snags my arm. Im sneaking in some later on, okay? Go have fun, man. I made sure all your old friends are here. In a rare show of non-violent affection, he gives me an awkward, one-armed hug. Eighteen. Congrats. He turns around as if to go, but Jessie stops him. Wait! He pauses. What about that really good friend of yours? Is he going to be there? He and I look at each other in confusion. Who? I ask. Peter. I give her a weird look. Who the fuck is Peter? Without waiting for her answer, I gab her hand and tug her down the stairs. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the start to one of the most awesome nights Ive ever had. Because, for me, I can usually have fun no matter what. So, at my parties, the golden rule is no drugs (weed, no problem, but not really my thing), drink as much as you can, and puke in the sinks and toilet only. When we all get down there, the DJ pauses the music so that everyone can sing happy birthday. Again. And it is still kind of embarrassing, but not as bad as it had been upstairs. I make Jessie give me my birthday kisses, suffer Jareds punches, and give the Death Stare to anyone who wanted to do either to me after that. It worked, too, which is good, because after spending too much time with Jessie I begin to wonder if my Death stare is on permanent malfunction. But its all good. I made it my goal to dance with every single girl at the party, and set about accomplishing that.

About a quarter of the way into doing so, Jessie sidles up behind me and says loudly (which, in this noise, is the equivalent of a whisper), Daves here. He, ah, spiked all the drinks, but he said it wasnt strong. Uh huh. Never trust Dave when he says the alcohol isnt strong, so stay away from it, okay? She bristles slightly. What? Stay away from the drinks, I snap. Excuse me? Is she deaf? I. Dont. Want. You. Drinking. At. All. Dont you dare tell me what to do and what not to do. Oops. Forgot Sunshine here doesnt do well with orders. Please stay away from the drinks. Crap. That didnt come out much better. Even if I hadnt realized it the second the words came out of my mouth, I sure got the message when she turned on one high heel and stalked off in the direction of the refreshments table. Im not going to follow her. She wasnt offended, right? Nah. I mean, shes only just tossed back a cup of something and flirting with a guy a few blocks away from my house and another cup oh, fuck a duck, is she trying to get drunk? Hey. Look. I realize it took me a moment to get to that, but the reason I still dont intervene is because Daves inserted himself between her and the guy. Okay. Jessies save with Dave. Its all good. Even though he looks like he drank up some of the stuff before he brought it to my party. With that pleasant little thought (lie) in my head, I go back to doing what I do best not dealing with tipsy girlfriends, but socializing. Its later when one of my ex-girlfriends starts giving me a lap dance when I think that Jessie might not be particularly happy. After that little thought make sit past the slight haze in my mind, I start to think, Hey! Right! Jessie! Where is she? Trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, I squirm my way out my seat and, accompanied by a chorus of disappointed calls, I start a slow sweep across the room. Its pretty hot now, and someone had the presence of mind to

start up the air conditioning. Not that it does a lot, but it keeps some slightly cooler air circulating. I duck when someone throws a cup of beer in the air, and it misses me. Mostly. I finally find her when Im towards the very back of the room, where mostly people are making out. She freezes when she sees me, but her face is thrown in shadow so I cant see her facial expression. Jess. Jessie! You okay? I shout. She makes her way slowly to me, and grabs my hand. I want to get out. What? I said I want to get out! Maybe I drank too much, but why leave the party? Where do you want to go? Out! Okay then. Out we go. I keep a firm grip on her hand and a firm grip on the bottle with my other hey! I didnt even realize I was holding a bottle! - and start to move slowly through the couples. I know theres a back entrance somewhere here. I pause when I see the people around me. Oh, haha, lookie there. Justins girlfriend is making out with his twin. And I guess Chelsea isnt going out with whatsiname anymore, as shes with some guys I dont recognize. And thats Tessa. Tessa and I cant see the face I crane my neck to make out the face of the dark-haired girl with her, but I cant se anything. Hmmm. Wonder who that is. Dunno who Tessa would make out with right now. Oh my fucking God I love Bacardi! I think I just giggled, but Im not totally sure. When we get outside, I have to pause for a moment. My head clears up a bit, but I still feel a bit lightheaded. Okay, okay, so Im past tipsy. Sue me. Are you feeling all right? Yeah, she says quietly. I just needed to get out for a moment. Fresh air, you know. I perk up. Fresh air is cool. Ive been told Im a really amiable drunk. Not that Im drunk or anything. Okay. Want to go somewhere? Where? she prods. I twist my face in extreme concentration. Well at this time, theres a pizzeria, a McDonalds, my friends place who does really good tattoos which

should be open because he wasnt at the party because he probably had some big appointments, a grocery store, a cemetery, a video rental place, a bunch of benches we can neck on and then can we go back to the party, please? I take a few more gulps of whatever Im holding, and well; dont ask me what happened after that. o0o0o0o0o0o Im vaguely aware that my head is on someones stomach, and that someone else is sprawled across me legs. I lift my head, and twist so I can see whom Im lying on. Its Tessa. Evas across my legs, and Jessies curled up with Jared. I squirm out from under Eva, and my lower body weeps in protest as the numbness fades and the sensation of pins and needles spreads like wildfire. Just as painful, too. Trying not to wake anyone up, I wiggle through the maze of bodies and empty bottles on the floor of my room. After a few agonizing minutes, I get into the bathroom, and stagger to my feet. My stomach lurches violently, and I gag and shove my face into the sink so I cant miss. Nothing happens. Good. I hate spewing. My legs are slowly going back to normal, and I dont feel like theyre about to buckle. However, my butt hurts like a bitch. What the hell? I try to remember what happened last night. Party something wake up in pain. Ooh, nice one, Montgomery. Puts the E in Eloquent, doesnt it? But I seriously cant remember much. My butt is still throbbing. Curious, I unbutton my pants, and, twisting my head, I peer down. Hmmm. Nothing. I close the bathroom door shut after a furtive look at the sleeping pile of arms and legs, but no one shows any signs of consciousness. Turning so Im facing away from the full-length mirror, I fully drop my pants and boxers. And scream. Loudly. o0o0o0o0o0o

Okay, Tessa says unsteadily. Whoa. How many calories did that shit have? Shut up, Tessa. No one cares. My head Eva moans. Jareds hanging over the toilet. Anne looks pretty green, too. I feel dizzy. Well, I guess we could have woken up worse, Jessie soothes us, stifling a yawn with her hand. Ick. I hate mornings. Im not a morning person, you know. Dead silence, broken by some pretty nasty sounds from Jared. Er. Well, then. Just lie down and Ill get some water and aspirin, okay? Anyone want anything else? Orange juice? A cool, damp cloth? Or drop dead and die, I voice sourly. Just pretend you have a hangover. A really, really small one. Please. She stares at me blankly, and then shrugs. Sure. Whatever. Ouch. The agony. Save me. Arg. Nooooo. And with that, she fake-staggers out the room, humming under her breath. I remember shes seemed upset at the party, but I also seem to remember the world turning upside down. Must have been just me. I real-stagger after her. Wait! Sunshine! I need to move. She slows down, and wraps a companionable arm around my waist when I catch up. Butt still hurting? The quirk to her mouth says she knows the answer. I guess you would know. I bitch. Yeah, I would, she acknowledges. We make our way down the stairs slowly. Its kind of cute, though. And Im compelled to point out that no matter how blurry last night got, I do distinctly remember Tessa asking you if you were sure, and you said you were. Then again, you also thought that you saw an alien in the backyard, so I guess we should put all blame on the alcohol. Or Davehmmm. All Id heard was a steady drone. My brain isnt processing much right now. Did you say something?

Never mind. We reach the kitchen, and she efficiently lays out some cups, gets out the orange juice, and starts to boil some water. Tea? Coffee? Juice? Water? Water. Coffee, Eva begs. Consider any debt between us gone if you make me one gallon of coffee. What debt? I am about to ask her, especially when Jessie shoots Eva a warning look, but when I open my mouth, I realize that I really couldnt care less about any type of debt. Oh, my butt Jared makes his way in unsteadily and collapses in a sprawled heap on the kitchen table. Tea. Tea, please. You are a beautiful angel sent from Heaven. Just give me some fucking tea. He nearly weeps when, a few minutes later, Jessie hands him a steaming mug. He shifts over into a chair and, as Jessie hands out drinks, we join him. Were all quiet, me sipping at the water, Eva all but drowning herself in coffee, and Jared sipping his drink with a blissful look on his face. Jessie grins suddenly. Lets do that again, guys. I lied. Heaven did not send you. Jessie waves that aside. You all look a bit better. Good. I feel a lot better, Jared admits, and gets up to put his empty mug in the dishwasher. Tea always gets rid of my headaches. He goes back to the table. Still sick, Eva? Her sigh was enough of an answer. Hey, I still feel out of it, too, I comfort her. I really want to lie down, and Tessas Tessas probably stolen my bed already. The nervous stutter right there is due to the fact that I just realized that there are three things upstairs close by. Tessa, Anne, and a bed. Now, Tessa usually is too out of it when she has a hangover to do more than whine and complain, but I really, really try not to underestimate her. Ill just go upstairs, I say brightly, and as fast as possible, get up and head for my room.

Wait! Jareds right behind me. Shit. And yes behind him, are Jessie and Eva. So much for getting up there alone. Wait. I stop. Lets just Jared shoves at me. Move, Montgomery. I want to go up. Damn it. He wants to go up. I try to march up the stairs as loud as possible, so that they can hear me coming. Tune it down, Jared snaps. Youre giving me a big headache. Yeah, and trying to save you an even bigger migraine. Obviously exasperated with my slow speed, Jared edges past me and rapidly heads down the hallway, and flings the door open to my room. No explosions, fainting, or screaming oh, thank God. But a he steps into the room, all three of us have a clear view of him freezing, his face a mass of confusion, then shock. By the time the latter is dominant, were in the doorway, too, and peering over his rigid shoulder. Oh my God, Eva claps a hand over her mouth. Shit! Jessie yelps and squeezes my arm hard enough to cut off all circulation. Hey, keep going, I encourage with great interest. What the Jared breathes, utterly shocked. Right. Jared. I look nervously from his blank face to Annes crimson one. Not that I can blame her having your friends and brother walk in on you when youre making out with another girl cant be very fun. Especially when Tessas the one on top. Anne ducks her head, unable to meet Jareds stare. Tessa, however, meets the accusing glare he sends her without flinching. Get off my sister. The voice is cold and furious. Hmmm. I guess anger makes short work of a hangover. No, Tessa says clearly. When Anne shifts, Tessa leans down and murmurs something in Annes ear. Anne shakes her head, and I can see the tears

welling in her eyes and collecting in the corners. Tessa reaches up and brushes them away. That small gesture sets Jared off. With an angry sound, he steps forward, but doesnt get far. He stops and claps his hands to his temples. Its too much. I cant. Not now. Damn good fucking timing. Sure you can, Tessa snaps. Jeez. The worlds still spinning. Its not a bad thing. Its perfectly normal, and if youd stop being so self-centered and narrow-minded, youd get over it. Tessa! Anne squeaks out, sounding utterly horrified. She has the good grace to look a bit ashamed. I yank free of Jessies death grip on my arm and plant myself between them. Tessa, stop fucking playing. Get off her. Now. Jared. Stop. Calm down. Im not playing, Tessa answers sulkily, but out of the corner of my eye I saw her get up and bring Anne up with her. How was I supposed to know she was in the closet? Jared also listened, and was now releasing and clenching his fists as his anger continued to seethe. How long, Anne? She doesnt answer. Jared turns around, looks around the room with something similar to wonder dawning on his face. Oh, my God. Im the only one in this fucking room that didnt know. You all knew? Jessie nods jerkily. Eva looks away. I met his accusing look square on. It wasnt our secret to share, Jared. Get out, he snaps. I want to talk to Anne. Alone. Anne looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Tessa didnt budge from Annes side. Eva obviously didnt want to leave Jared, and Jessie, from the look on her face wouldnt exit till I would go. But I wasnt moving till I knew that Tessa and Jared wouldnt start on each other. All we need is a western mining town background and a few holstered guns. Or maybe no guns right now would be for the best. Jared Eva started.

Shut up, Eva, he cut her off scornfully, an almost malicious tone in his voice. Fucking great help you were. How the hell could you keep something like this from me? My God, if you arent going to sleep with me, the least you could do is be honest. Or is that too much to ask from you? Eva drew in a shocked breath, and I echoed it. The room was dead silent for a heartbeat, and the ugly echo of his words was undeniable. Abruptly, Eva left the room, and Jessie went after her. I took a step forward, my hands curling, but Tessa caught my arm from behind. No. Dont, Raffie. Well go, she snaps at Jared. But if you Jared blinks, and a bit of his anger drains away. Not that much, though. Hell, Im not going to fucking beat up my own damn sister! (Whoa. Thankfully there are no small children in the room.) Tessa just shot a few more eye-daggers at him. Not all abuse is physical, she hisses, and, grabbing my arm, stalks right past him with me reluctantly in tow. She drags me out the door, closes it sharply (ow loud noise), and sends me a demure look from under her ridiculously long lashes. Multiple personality disorder right there. I love you, Raffie. Give me one reason I shouldnt kill you right now. She takes me literally, and blowing out her breath, lifts up one perfectly manicured and polished fingertip to tick off every point she makes. One; Im too damn gorgeous to be killed. Two; if I were dead, there would be no one that can rival - and beat your ego. Three; Annes fucking hot, so its not all my fault, anyway. Four; my agents would probably kill you. Five; Jessie would dump you. Six; youd go to jail, and Im sure your cellmates would take a great interest to you and that cute ass of yours. Seven Oh, sicko, I snap. Leave my ass out of this. My ass has been through enough. Mums going to kill me if she finds out. You just managed to completely ruin Annes life, and probably Evas as well. Tessa rolls her eyes, and actually has the nerve to pat me consolingly on the shoulder. Your ass is still cute, even if you do need to hit the gym. And thats not ruining someones life. Thats adding a bit of drama, a big bump in the road, and a reality wake-up call that was long overdue. Youll thank me later. Now, if youll excuse me, I saw celery sticks. With peanut butter. Hangovers make me hungry. You know that.

And she has the flippancy the audacity - to turn on her three-inch heel (with only a hint of unsteadiness) and sashay her tight butt out of the room without a single damn apology. What about ruining my birthday party? I holler after her. How about making it unforgettable? she snips back without missing a beat, and then moves out of my line of sight. Eva has a broken heart. Jessies trying to stick the pieces back together. Tessa has probably stolen Annes heart. Annes secret is out. Jared isnt talking to anyone. I now have a fucking dragon tattoo on my right buttock that seems to match Jessies, from what I remember of it. Great. Now what? y Diary, Well, Rafaels party was great until Dave tried to hook up with me. I wish I could call him an asshole and run yelling to Rafe, but Dave was insanely drunk, and I dont want to cause a rift between them. A girlfriend is a lot more momentary than family, you know? But I dont want to talk about it at all, because it is NOTHING compared to whats going on now. Evas a nervous wreck thanks to Jared, and Anne has decided that everything is all her fault and that by ignoring it all, things will get better. Which, as anyone who had any inkling of knowledge about Tessa should know, didnt make Ms. Angelina Jolie the Second very happy at all. In fact, she threatened to do something. She kind of yelled it into my ear via cell phone, so I just told her Im really sorry but Anne cant handle her right now. Who could handle Tessa, anyways? Shes a bundle of immortal firecrackers. Memorial day weekend is now over last two weeks of school. Then Prom. Then graduation. Then freedom. And you have no clue how great the last thing sounds, especially since Michael is going on some expensive tropical adventure with his friends for the entire summer. Thankfully, I wasnt invited. I shall happily get a job. Not that I need the money for college I got enough scholarships to cover expenses. Sadly enough, clothing doesnt pay for itself but Ill just wear the dress I wore to the party to Prom. Saves money, and only what, five people? know that Ive worn in before.

Speaking of those five people. Jared and Eva have officially broken up, and no one is brave enough to even touch them with a ten foot pole. Eva is liable to burst into tears any minute, and Jareds temper, never having a long fuse to begin with, has none at all. Tessa, at least, has stopped calling me. Maybe she got the message. Annes been retreating into herself way too much, so I spend most of my time with her. This sucks. Jessie 0o0o0o0o0o0 One of the drawbacks of getting drunk is, obviously, the hangover. I used to dislike being totally out of control, but after a while I got the hang of it. Obviously, I slip up a few times, like that one time I woke up after my thengirlfriends best friends party in bed with the best friend. It was awkward, to say the least. I still dont think I did anything with the girl, because she would have woken up in a far better mood than she actually did. Or that time I got drunk and got a tattoo on my ass. Yeah, sure, Jessie was all like, and I quote directly: Im compelled to point out that no matter how blurry last night got, I do distinctly remember Tessa asking you if you were sure, and you said you were. Then again, you also thought that you saw an alien in the backyard, so I guess we should put all blame on the alcohol. We were alone when we decided to go around town because she wanted fresh air. So how drunk was she? And while were on that topic I didnt see an alien. I swear. And, since mine matches her exactly (according to her, but I do think I should, you know, double check just to make sure), that means that the damn tattoo artist, Jake, saw Jessies. When I went over to his place, he told me quite cheerfully that it was nice to see me again, he hoped boarding school was good, that because we were friends hed given me a discount, that, it was permanent, yes, Jessie has a nice ass, and no, he did not feel guilty about taking advantage of drunk people. Oh, the friends I have Speaking of which. Another problem about the hangover is that when its gone, you cant really use it as an excuse to dope up on medication and sleep. I mean, you can try to get drunk again, but itll be damn hard under Mums watchful eye. Shes totally cool with an occasional insanely drunk

night, but shes careful. It helped a lot with us all peacefully coexisting without me going full out rebellious when I reached those days where everything my parents told me, I would do the dead opposite. Im out of those times. Mostly. It was ridiculously easy for Mum to realize something had gone horribly wrong, so she decided to just leave dinner out on the table and that we could come in, serve ourselves, and vanish to wherever with our heaping plates. Well, I know I take a heaping plate. All that drama makes me hungry. When I walk into my room, its to find my bed occupied by a glum Jessie munching on a slice of broccoli and cheddar quiche and watching a rerun of That 70s Show on my television. She automatically shifts over a bit to make room for me, and absently takes a piece of salad from my plate and gobbles it down. Never mind the fact she has plenty of salad on her own plate, which I help myself to. Hows the quiche? Good, she says. Really good. Excellent, in fact. Mmm Hope you dont mind me testing it for myself. I steal a large piece of it and stuff it in my mouth. Sgooth, I agree thickly. She scowls. Dont talk with your mouth full. Did your mom bake it? I risk spraying my mouthful all over my bed with the snort of laughter that comes up. I imitate holding my hand up to my ear. I mean, Mum can cook, but hosting a party mean catering, and all the food downstairs was probably all the leftovers. All the extra food can last for weeks. That is, only if Dave and Dani dont drop by for a visit and leave with three bowls under their arms. Jessies silent for a while, and then heaves a deep sigh and drops her head on my shoulder, scooting over in order to curl up against my side. Eva pretty much dumped him. Annes not talking to him at all. Jared isnt homophobic, but their parents certainly are. I think thats why Anne kept it to herself. I guess she didnt trust Jared. Or maybe She didnt want to hurt him. Or she didnt want to cause a huge rift in the family. Or it was her own business and her decision to deal with. I wince. I feel bad for him. He was an asshole to Eva! Come on, Sunshine. He wasnt exactly having a peachy keen moment himself.

I can feel her scowl on her face when she buries her face a bit further into my neck, and after a bit of some obvious hard thinking, mumbles, Did you know that tickling can be categorized as either knismesis and gargalesis? I sigh. I daresay she doesnt want to talk about it. Jessie, come on. Gargalesis can only be inflicted by someone else, and has been used as a form of torture, because it is uncomfortable even though we laugh and smile. I feel her lips curl slightly through the material of my shirt, letting me know that shes deliberately teasing me. God, youre such a nerd, I remark, a bit exasperated. Yeah. I know. But thats why you love me, right? she mocks, and turns her attention back to the television and the remainder of food on my plate. Love. Noun, verb: a feeling of intense affection, sexual attraction or tenderness, romantic love, and a word I really, really try to avoid. But she doesnt seem to notice my small squirm. You know, I always wondered; what is love? How do you know you love someone? Whats the difference between strong affection, and love? Is there a difference? If so, how can you tell? What if you dont find out till its too late? I think I shall keep my mouth shut. I just got over the hangover, so a migraine is out of the question. But I do have a slight headache. Thank you for asking. I used that reoccurring headache as an excuse to avoid Jared, ignore Tessas fury when evidently Anne flat-out refused to acknowledge anything resembling a future for the two of them (I have a faint hope itll deflate Tessas ego, but I doubt it) and occupying myself with Jessie, who seems as eager as I was to get away from everyone elses depressed state whenever possible. Hence, lots and lots of watching T.V., because good action flicks work well to keep everyone watching silent and off each others backs. Oh, and, right before we board the flight back to school, Eva points out very coolly to a ice-eyed Jared that the reason shed been flirting with the guy in the caf minutes before is: Because Im single. Um, ouch, burn? I have slept through every single other damn flight in my life, but this one has me awake and ready to claw out a window. All with a crazed smile on my face.

Jessies sitting next to me, and she, of all people, has fallen asleep on my shoulder. Ive had to pee for about half an hour but every time I try to move she makes a weird noise and uses the grip she has around my arm to keep me down. Its utter agony. Jared is sitting in the middle of the row smack between Eva and Anne. At least, he had been both girls had convinced two other random girls to switch with them. Each time they try to flirt with him, he shoots furious glares at Eva, Anne, and finally at me. What did I do? Nothing. Therein, I guess, is the problem. Now, dont get me wrong. Im not excusing Jared. Hell, no. Far from it. What he said was pretty down there, and I have to admit I really didnt think he was the type of guy to do so. But I mean look at it from his side. His girlfriend, his sister, me, Jessie thats a pretty close-knit group, and we kept something from him that he had a total right to know. I still am pissed at him for lashing out at Eva on such a personal thing in front of everyone oh, I dont know. What a fucking mess. What a big, fucking mess. Eva isnt talking to anyone but Jessie, Annes refusing to talk to Tessa, whos furious at me because I wouldnt let her in the house to talk to Anne yesterday before we left, and Jareds just not talking to anyone. At all. He just sits there brooding, and occasionally flicking glances at us. He looks away whenever I catch his eye, though. Its times like this when senior year needs to just end already. 0o0o0o0o0o0 When we left school, life sure felt like it was surging ahead. When we went back, it dragged. And I mean dragged. Senioritis was hitting with full strength, especially because college letters were in. Im sure you noticed I didnt apply Im taking a year off. I dont have any particular urge to shoot off from high school to college without having fun. Yeah, I do owe that freedom to my money. I mean, maybe Ill get a job. Wouldnt I be the worlds sexiest waiter ever? Business would boom. Or maybe model a bit more. Only if Im desperate, though, and after I work out a lot. Ive kinda gotten lax about it. You know senioritis is hitting when even Jessie feels it. After getting out of class early (I sit near the back door and the teacher had her back turned), I walk into Jessies economics class. Hey, I say to the teacher. Can I sit in here? I have a lunch period.

She raises an eyebrow (Ive told her the same thing last semester when visiting friends during first period). You have a lot of lunch periods, dont you, Mr. Montgomery? I just smile. She doesnt return the smile, but motions brusquely for me to take a seat in the back. I amble down the center isle slowly, snagging Jessies arm on the way, forcing her to either clumsily gather up her stuff and follow, or to cause a scene. She follows very quickly, and sits next to me in the back, pushing her desk closer to mine. Whats up? I whisper. Im so annoyed, she mutters. I know all this shit already. My God, once the APs are over theyre in a week, by the way, so Im going to vanish on you this weekend - Im going to take off and go hide in the hills. She jerks her thumb over her shoulder to the smudge on the edge of the horizon. I mean, if this place werent on a fucking prairie already. Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend? She suppresses a giggle. Nah, Im not bored in class. No worries. I have ways to entertain myself. And she takes out the book shed been poring over before when Id walked in. I focused on them, and felt like my heart had just lodged in my throat. Theyre the normal Marble composition books. They look innocent. But now that I could fully see them, I saw they arent textbooks. Or binders. Or anything remotely dealing with education. W-where did you get that? F-from Dani, she mocks, opening it to somewhere in the middle. She stares at it for a while, and then giggles. Awww. So cute. But I still like the picture of you wearing a dress and make up. Definitely my favorite so far. I. Hate. Photo. Albums. Especially ones compiled by my older sister. I edge my desk a bit closer, and when the teachers attention strays to the board behind her, I take a vicious, desperation-fueled swipe at the notebooks. Jessie casually shifts them about an inch at the last possible second so that my fingertips claw desperately at thin air and makes a tsking sound. Now, Raffie. Be nice. Be as nice as that picture of your bare ass sticking out in the air when your mom and sister walked in on you and that girl. I still cant believe your sister managed to get a shot of that. Shes seriously amazing, you know?

No, not when they all show up online! I complain. Would you like some cheese with that whine? Jessie quips. Oh, go take a long walk on a short pier, I snap right back, ignoring her quickly muffled laugh. When she was still in college, she used to post them all upon her Facebook account. Stupid online shit. Cant keep anything a secret. Jessie shrugs blandly, but a small smile plays on her face as she turns the page and looks at more horrible pictures of Yours Truly. Isnt she just a heap of fun today? Im feeling distinctly left out. Psst! I poke her in the side. She shoots me a look. Youre neglecting me! Im bored! She rolls her eyes, and then, as if some freaky little inner alarm system suddenly went off, her attention flies to the teacher and her hand shoots up in the air. Wouldnt that make it a market economy? she asks. Yes, Ms. Davidson, the teacher says, utterly enchanted by her shining genius. That is correct. I wait till the teacher turns back to the blackboard. Youre paying more attention to the freaking class than to me! No answer. My God, do you realize I exist? Her head snaps up, annoyed. Raffie, Im in class. I have pictures to memorize. And yes, I do notice you. Youve ran your hand through your hair three times in the past minute. Hmmm, so I have. I barely see you anymore. I put in a sad sigh at the end. She mutters something about my friend hurting two of hers. I daresay shes talking about Jared, Anne, and Eva. So hes suddenly my friend now? Thats really immature. My friends got burned, too, you know. Tessas one of them. I snap, barely remembering to keep my voice down. She scoffs. Tessa? Yes, Tessa. She may act like a bitch about it, but she also got hurt. Youre not the only person who likes to hide her feelings. Her cheeks turn slightly red, from hurt or anger, I dont know. Probably the latter. I sigh and for the umpteenth time, drag a hand through my hair and

blow irritably when a lock falls back down to poke me in the eye. I think I should just shave my freaking head. Arguing about this isnt going to help at all, but I really feel like no ones giving Jared any help. Hes gone through more of a shocker than anyone, except for Anne. But no ones sticking up for him. I decide to address that later. The teacher isnt paying attention to us, I whisper. We could probably have sex back here and no one would notice. Or, I could go to your room tonight wearing that slip and seduce you. Or that, I agree so fast the words almost trip over themselves to get off my tongue. That works as well. No problem. Except for the fact she made it clear that she doesnt want to have sex with me, but that she does. So helpful, you know? She chuckles. I figured youd have no problem with that. 0o0o0o0o0o0 It was the next day during lunch that I got a phone call form the Devil. The Devil being eighteen, beautiful, and utterly ruthless in getting what she wants. I pick up the phone without reading the caller ID. Hey. Thats all you have to say to me? Tessas voice sounds downright poisonous. Theres a short pause where I battle the urge to hang up and deal with the headache later. Im doing well, thank you for asking. Except for, oh, I dont know, a totally fucked up group of friends? I hiss right back, getting up and moving to a vacant table so I could battle this out in relative privacy. Dont you dare bitch at me! She heaves a sigh. Im sorry, she mutters, the apology sounding like shed had to drag it out with the difficulty of slamming a revolving door. I swear I didnt hear you guys coming, or I would have - Gotten off of her? Really? Or would you have stayed exactly where you were? Shes silent for a moment. Thats something well never find out, will we? I hate to admit it, but she does get props for honesty. Look. I really just want to know what how Anne is.

I open my mouth, and then close it. There was a note in Tessas voice that I rarely here: vulnerability. Love, you barely know the girl. Why hurt yourself obsessing over her? Which I thought was perfectly legitimate advice, but Tessa let out a sharp cry of frustration. Shes different! Different. An odd word, really. What makes one different is based on the viewer. So If Tessa sees Anne as different, different from all the girls shes dated, all the girls shes flitted around with, then who am I to argue? Specially since I have Jessie, who keeps sending me concerned looks from her seat. I smile to reassure her. Okay. Tessa, Anne is effing miserable right now. Jared isnt talking to anyone. His parents are, from what I understand, extremely homophobic, so he probably has that worry on him as well. I dont know how she feels about you, and Find out. Excuse me? I said, find out. Find out what? I ask, puzzled. How she feels about me. The idiot she tacked on the end of that was silent, but that didnt stop it from traveling over the line. I snort. Right. How do you propose I do that? You can be smart on occasion, was Tessas cryptic response, and she hangs up. I cant help the momentary smirk, because that means she has no clue, either. I return back to the table, my mind buzzing with ways I could figure out how I could find it out. For all the buzzing that happened, only one idea surfaced in my mind asking Anne directly. Now, how to do that? I guess I had a worried look on my face, because Jessie suddenly leans against me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. You okay? I smile at her obvious concern. Im fine. Just thinking. I pause, then query, Wheres Anne? Jessie glances around the table. Ah I suppose shes in her room. Again. She leans in closer to me, and to the causal eye, it probably looked like she was just cuddling, but she was actually confiding in me how worried she was

about Anne. Which, I decide, was a perfect window of opportunity for me to offer to check on her, maybe talk a bit. If youre that worried, Sunshine, I can go talk to her. Jessie looks really relieved. Which is how I found myself heading for Annes dorm a few seconds later. When I reach the door, I can hear music playing, loud enough that I can tell someones in there, soft enough that I cant tell what it is. I raise my fist and rap gently on the door. No one answers the door, but the music vanishes. I smile slightly. Anne, love, turning off the music and pretending not to be there wont work. (Silence.) I scowl. Anne, come on. Footsteps head towards the door, and I let out a breath of relief, only to suck it back in with annoyance when the door opens and Annes roommate nervously tells me that Anne had gone to get some paperwork filled out for college. I sigh. I dont want to hunt her down the admissions office that deals with college crap is in another building. I really cant be bothered to drag myself around campus. When do you think shell be back? I ask hopefully. Maybe shell say two minutes or something. Er an hour or two? Shot down without a qualm. I open my mouth to thank her, when I suddenly hear a weird noise, like a gasp for breath. I narrow my eyes. Who was that? I demand. Because that definitely came from the dark recesses of the back of the room. The girl never had to answer, because a moment later, a distinctly Anne-sounding sneeze burst out, followed by a stuffy and miserable sounding, Cant you just leave me alone? I raise my eyebrows, and without much dcor, I bully my way past the roommate with an angry expression on my face that I have a suspicion melted the second I saw Anne. She was huddled in the corner of her bed, her hair falling out of her limp bun. The blanket is wrapped all around her, and theres a garbage can close to overfilling with used tissues. As I gape,

she takes a tissue, blows her nose hard, and makes a pathetic toss towards the trash. Unsurprisingly, she missed. Im sick. I, ah, noticed. Since when? I walk over to her, wanting to see if she had a fever or something, but she rears back and waves her hands around in an awkward windmill-motion, but what she was going to say was lost in sneezing. I had a pretty good idea of what she d wanted to say, though. Bless you. Bless you againand a third time. Im not going to catch it from you. I never really get sick. She scowls. I lay the palm of my hand against her hand, and Im not really that surprised to find that its warm. Did you take anything for this yet? She nods. No, she didnt, her roommate pipes up, and hastily scampers out the room when Anne levels a pretty nasty glare in her direction. Ill, ah, be studying and the door closes with a sharp little snap. Smart girl. Have you been sick for a long time? I ask in concern. She sniffs noisily. Just get to the point, Rafael. I think you know what Im here to talk about. I watch her face closely. Its about Tessa. Because of the close scrutiny, I saw the faint tightening of her face. I just wanted to know well, Im really sorry about how it all turned out I wish it hadnt I trail off. I sound really lame. Im sorry, too. It shouldnt have happened, she said stoutly. Oops. Wrong direction. I didnt say it was wrong! Im saying that it didnt work out is what I feel bad about! I know you didnt say it was wrong; I said that, and she sighs. Dont you see, Rafael? It cant happen. Youre killing the romantic in me, I try to interject some humor in the situation. Not that it wasnt true. She really was. Well, itll kill my family. I cant do that. You saw what Jared responded like. Its not even that he disapproves, really. But he knows how my family would respond. She made a vicious slicing moment across her throat. I had a cousin who announced he was gay. Because he was nineteen and a legal adult, it was perfectly okay for the family to pretend hed never been born. So youre going to just hide?

She scowls heavily at me, but the moment is ruined by a high-pitched sneeze. Im not hiding; Im just biding my time. The second Im able to support myself and I have some savings to back me up, I can pack my bags and tell them on the way to the door. Im not a coward, Rafael; Im just being cautious. I have to pause for a moment. I guess, since my parents are so incredibly supportive, I always found it hard to see it from people who are unable to be open, who have to hide their true identity because of parents who, as I see it, love only by rigid moral standards. Like, okay. I know its a big issue for some people, but to deny a child of their family? For what? Some of my feelings must have shown on my face, because Anne says sadly, Dont, Rafael. I know it may seem harsh, but I still love my parents. Theyre not necessarily bad people; they just have their own strict beliefs. But youre their daughter. I know. I make a frustrated noise. Look. I cant understand, and Im not even going to bother to try, but if youre doing what you have to do, then okay. But I hesitate. I just wanted to know how you felt about Tessa. Does it matter? Of course it does, I reply indignantly. When Anne just shakes her head, her body slumping dejectedly, I rein in my impatience. Okay. Anne, if youre not going to talk about it much, will you at least get some fresh air, maybe go by dinner? The cafeteria is still open for another half hour and youll probably feel better after you get some good food in your stomach. Lo and behold, Im right. Well, not entirely. I manage to gently bully her into putting on sweatpants, a thick hoodie, and thick socks. Pretty much bundled from head to toe and armed with a box of tissues under one arm, Anne miserably troops into the cafeteria, but her mood obviously shoots up when everyone greets her enthusiastically and those that had an inkling that there was something seriously wrong kept their mouths shut. Quiet at first, she joins into the conversation soon thereafter. I have a serious misgiving when the topic of why are gay guys always so hot? comes up, but Anne doesnt seem particularly flummoxed. That stereotypical gay guy voice can be annoying, though. A girl remarks. I mean, there are plenty of guys that dont talk like that. Its usually just the extremely feminine ones, you know?

Yeah. But stereotypes arent exactly pulled out of thin air, I point out. Putting on my best gay-guy voice, I gasp, No, like, my God. I would totally do him. Are you kidding me, honey? He has the best ass Ive seen around for ten miles. Anne giggles and Jessie chokes on her drink, spins around, and spits out the mouthful of water out in a nearby garbage can. After a moment of catching her breath, she gets out, Damn it. Did you practice that or something? Yep. Why? I blink. The answer is so obvious to me that I cant hold back the duh sound in my voice. To get into gay clubs, of course. Judging by the faces, I think I need to explain that a bit more. Okay. Look. If you go to several particular gay clubs, youd be surprised by the amount of straight, female friends they bring along. I just pretend to be gay and over twenty-one, and then once Im in, Im the straight friend of my gay friend whos with me. Whos nineteen. And how old were you when you did this? Jessie sounds like my mother. I shrug. I did it twice. Over the summer. Anne chuckles. Rafael, I really have no words for you. I grin and stretch, dropping one arm around Jessies shoulders. She peers at me. For someone with so much experience at picking up girls, you sure have some of the most pathetic moves Ive ever seen. Thats cause I picked you up a long time ago, Sunshine. 0o0o0o0o0o I reach the last step and step out into the hallway. Im bored. I think I need a good make-out session. I mean, its not like I have work Well, okay, I do. But seriously. Who the hell does work during the last few weeks of school, anyways? I certainly dont. Then again, I dont do much homework during the rest of the weeks. Ah, well. High school only lasts four years, so why waste precious time? Exactly.

But it seems pretty apparent that a nice long time in her room minus some closes behind a locked door wasnt going to be happening now, or anytime soon. Because her loud, furious voice definitely reached my ears before I saw her pacing back and forth in front of her room with short, furious steps that all but screamed that the person on the other end of the line wasnt earning him or herself any happy points for the day. I dont see why I have to be there, Richard! she cries out in exasperation, wildly waving her hand around. Ah, the not-so-beloved not-step-dad. Something flutters where it produces from her fist, but I cant see what it is, and I dont plan on interrupting her. I settle for leaning against the wall about seven feet away and resign myself to the agony of indulging in my nosy self. So you expect me to spend my last weekend before the end of classes at some stupid business gala so you can get an award for the most perfect family life? I wince, because I could hear the cold, cutting response even as far away as I was. So Im not really surprised to see Jessie cringe and lose a lot of her righteous steam. I check the impulse to interfere, because thats probably what shed see it as interfering. But why? It doesnt matter. You just say your trophy wifes daughter is at the top of her graduating class, and that shes busy trying to get into the best college with the highest possible scholarship. Im sure they understand ambition at the expense of family. A pause. Hey, Im not complaining. Id rather be buried under textbooks than at the house. You might have noticed that by now. Another pause, with what sounds like a furious tirade from the other end of the phone. When Jessie answers, her voice has a definite quaver and her gesturing arm vanishes from my view to make a motion around her face. Im not making any promises. I dont need you. I dont owe you anything. And with that dramatic cry, she snaps the phone closed hard enough that I wonder if the phones going to be a bit flatter than it had been before. Turning around, she catches sight of me. Neither of us say anything for a long moment. She gives a rather crooked smile, and my heart made a weird flip-flop. Family fun. Im okay.

Always all right, arent you? I murmur, and give into the impulse to go to her and hold her close to me. You can be human, you know. I feel her shrug. Im way too human anyways. A walking fuck-up, I reply, tongue-in-cheek, and she snorts a real, if somewhat odd laugh. What happened? Richard wants me to play Perfect Family with an unhappy wife, son with violent tendancies, and a step-daughter who would rather take every SAT II in existence than deal with that happy bunch. Even while the slacker in me wanted to cry out in horror at the (probably extremely accurate) remark, I managed to suppress it. Are you going to go? No. Her voice hardens as she repeats what shed said before: I dont owe him anything. She pulls out of my arms to stare at the thing shed held in her hand, and suddenly, as if taken by an impulse too strong to withstand, she tore up the paper and let it rain down from her hand to the floor between us. I glance at the pieces of paper, and slowly kneel down to pick them up. Its a check. I carefully sift through them. There seem to be an awful amount of zeros on the pieces. Sunshine, how much was this check for? She stares straight ahead, her face stony. It was from Richard. How much, Jessie? Five thousand. You ripped up a five thousand dollar check? I resist the urge to grab several rolls of tape to nurse it back to legibility. Are you all right? I question her cautiously, my voice an obvious indicator that I believe the answer to be in the negative. Her shoulders rounded as she hunched into herself, arms tightly folded across her stomach. He wrote my name as Josephine Davidson, anyways, so I wouldnt have been able to deposit it. He wants me to come back next week. Say no. Say youre on the Prom committee. Say youve gotten I cant. I blow out my breath in frustration, but walk up to her and draw her against me, where she relaxes against me immediately. Why not? She shakes her head, making it clear that she wont tell me. Yet. Ill worm it out of her somehow. Or if not I could

Who needs a devil on the shoulder when Tessas just a phone call away? I think I learned my lesson on that diary. Still havent found the note that fell out of it, but that was months ago. Its history now. Right? Yeah. Definitely. But knowing Jessie, shes got something about Tessa, Anne, and whatever else got involved in the situation. I shouldnt. I really shouldnt. It would be really helpful if some divine sign appeared right about now to tell me that I shouldnt do this. Its horrible. I should be tarred and feathered and never be spoken to again. Something please deter me! I think I need a nice, long, relaxing swim, Jessie decides with a sigh. Ill borrow Evas one piece, because all I have are bikinis. So yeah. You can go make yourself comfortable Ms. Healthgots out for the next few hours and poke around in my side room if youre bored. Unless you want to go swimming, too? Um, hello, wrong side of the argument for the divine sign to promote? I dont have a bathing suit, I reply slowly. She gives a rather lopsided grin. Flip-flop. No problem for me, but I guess you cant go skinny dipping while the swim team practices. Ill be back in about an hour, okay? She wraps her arms around me and I can feel how tense her muscles are. Its only a weekend, she reassures, but whether shes trying to make me or herself feel better, I dont know. I can give you a massage, I offer desperately. You know from first hand experience Im good with my hands. Dont leave me alone with your trust on one side and your diary and Tessa on the other. Im human just like you are! Rain check? Shes already heading off down the hallway. I groan. I guess she took that as a yes, because she waves over her shoulder and vanishes in the staircase leaving me behind. I look at the open door. I really shouldnt go in there. I walk in. I see her diary lying on the table, as if shed just closed it after writing in it. I shouldnt go near it.

I sit down gingerly at the desk. Maybe shes attached a bomb to it. No, because if she had, it would have gone off. The door slams shut behind me, and I jump with an embarrassingly highpitched shriek lodging halfway down my throat. After my body pulls itself away from the brink of a heart attack, common sense tells me that the stiff breeze coming in for the open window was what closed it. So now I was all alone behind a closed door. I looked at the diary and remembered the anguish on my sisters face when she found out Id read her diary. I also remember, with equal clarity, the feeling of a frying pan clipping me on the back of my skull. I put the diary down again (yeah, I keep picking it up) but then I remember the quiet, almost hidden desperation in Tessas voice, Annes internal tug-of-war between happiness and practicality. How can I face Tessa? She may be a bitch, but shed do anything for me in a heartbeat, something shed done before in the past. More times than youd think. I cant really tell you about it, because its one of those what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas kind of thing. But if I do this crap, Im so going to Hell, at least for a few years. 0o0o0o0o0o0 Hey, Notebook, Had a long talk with Anne. She says she met Tessa at Rafaels party, and that Tessa had been perfectly delightful, funny, smart, and nice to talk to. Tessa had mentioned to her in an offbeat kind of way that she was lesbian. Anne (and quite honestly I cant blame her) fell instantly in lust. Sounds so unlike Anne, but I guess when you meet that person, it just works like that. I must say I was entirely shocked when I learned that Anne, in fact, was the one to kiss Tessa. Both times. Apparently, theyd hooked up at Rafaels basement party, too. I mean, Im sure Tessa knew what she was doing, but Id kind of assumed that Tessa had been to instigate it all. I guess I feel slightly guilty for having such a bad opinion of Tessa. Anne felt quote unquote like a slut. Which pissed me off, because shes not. She just met someone who accepts her and desires her as she is, and the feeling was utterly mutual.

Anne is definitely hung up on her, and its an unspoken conclusion that Tessa will probably be a huge figure for the rest of her life. I guess it was more than a physical attraction or Anne she really felt something emotional, but feels awkward about it because shed known Tessa for such an insanely short time, and that on top of it, the whole situation went straight to hell pretty fast. Not exactly a smooth start to anything, right? Annes torn between letting the past go and trying to pursue this a bit more. Shes definitely leaning towards the latter, because Tessa did make it pretty clear that she didnt expect Anne to just what were the words? merrily waltz out of her life. While thats a definite upbeat look at Annes situation, it is giving the poor girl some confidence where she, quite frankly, seems not to have one. So while Tessa may rub me the wrong way, she clearly has the devotion of two of my closest friends, so who am I to say that Anne should ignore her? Though I do wish Tessa would stop calling me. Jessie 0o0o0o0o0o0 Oh score. Score. Score. Score. Tessas gonna hit the roof when I tell her. Because Im quite sure that she would have no problem about popping onto the plane for a visit to help Anne out. Dare I say love at first sight. Love. Jessie? Okay. Lets skip that topic. Non-existing. No, thank you. By the way, nice first moves, Anne! Ill have to tease Tessa about getting beaten to the punch. Both times. Finally, a minor detail to irritate her momentarily on! But when Im about to put the book down (I got what I wanted), a word catches my attention thats I the last entry, which starts right after the one Id just read. And yes, the word is sex. And lookie, my name pops up, too. I dart a furtive look at the door. Its been only, like, what? Three minutes five minutes tops since I came in? No way is she coming back. I debate knocking on wood, but Im way too fascinated by what she could have written, so I skip the anti-jinxing and read.

0o0o0o0o0o0 Dear Diary, Ive been causally asking around, and I must admit, Im surprised by the amount of couples having sex. Oh, I know the dorm deal helps out a lot, as its very easy to sneak people in and out, and I do know that the free condoms do run out every other week or so, but it got me wondering. Because I know I told him I wouldnt, but it was more to test his reaction. The fact that he was cool about it really got rid of any fears about getting pressured into it. I mean, I do get comments about it from other people, but Ive been expecting them. But I guess I mean Im going to be truthful. Call me a romantic, but I want my first time to be with him, as well as quite a few times after that. I just worry about one thing. Well, two. The summers coming, and everyones shooting off in different directions. So how long are we going to last, anyways? Like, high school often doesnt translate to college, and I guess Im worried that itll end so soon. But perhaps thats all the more reason to make every second worth it while Im still with him. Of course what if Im bad? Is there anything I need to know before telling him I want to have sex? Do I tell him? Should I just jump him? Do I have to buy the condoms? Im not on the Pill, which is a problem, because I never needed it for my skin or to regulate my period. So what else do I get? Spermicide? Eva just cracked up when I asked all this stuff. So encouraging. I mean, since she did do it with Jared I was hoping that maybe 0o0o0o0o0o0 What the hell do you think youre doing? A shocked voice asked me. My reaction was like this: total delight to confusion, bone-deep terror, and then the oath to never forget to knock on wood. I spun around with the book still open in my hand. Oh, fuck, I say helplessly. This isnt what it looks like, Sunshine. She steps into the room, closing the door behind her. Her face a picture of disbelief, she sits down on the edge of her bed. Her hands are clenched tightly together, and her face is devoid of any healthy flush she normally has. Rafael. I squinch my eyes closed tightly, but when I open it, the scene is still the same her staring at me who is standing in front of her desk with the page

open on her sexual confession. Crap, I can all but feel eternal fires licking at my skin. Wait, no, thats just a guilty blush. Well, like my cousin Dave always said, if you cant get away with a lie, stick to only half the truth. Im so sorry, Sunshine. I dont even have to fake the horrified look on my face. God, I feel like shit. I totally should have seen this happening. I should have never touched the damn book. My God. I I didnt read much. I promise. But I saw it there, and I was just curious and I just flicked through it a bit Carefully, I close the book and hold it out to her. She stares at it, and after an extremely awkward minute, I realize shes not going to touch it. I put it back on the desk. She brings her folded hands to her mouth and breathes into them, as if shes trying to warm them. Fuck, Sunshine, say something! I finally snap. What did you read? she asks after a moment. Nothing, I fib. I mean, I caught a few sentences here and there. But it was mostly Eva said this, Anne said that, this girl called that girl a bitch, that girl cheated on someone. I didnt catch anything private. My whole fucking journal is private! she snaps. Touch. I just stand there in misery. What if I hadnt forgotten a towel? You would have read the whole thing! Actually, I was about to put it back down, I say with a helluva lot more honesty than Id given out so far. I Hell, Jessie. She looks like shes on the verge of tears, but to my bone-melting relief, the look goes away. Just go, Rafael. Dont make me leave, I plead. Please leave me alone for a bit, okay? Thats all Im asking. I could understand that shed want to be alone, though Im much rather that she threw things at me and raged and screamed. But the please was what did me in. With enough deliberating to show that leaving was the last thing that I want to do, I drag my sorry ass out the door. I hesitate, not sure whether to close it or now. Leave it, Jessie orders.

So I leave it open. I make it about four steps in the hallways when I hear a muffled noise. Oh, son of a- shes crying! I barge back in, to find Jessie sitting there with both hands over her face. I drop to my knees. Jessie My God So imagine my surprise when I pull her hands away from her face to find her laughing. Yes, there are tears in her eyes that I doubt are all from laughing, but theres genuine humor. Which, of course, totally floors me. What the hell? She gets the chuckles under control pretty fast and touches my cheek with a sigh. Youre a blundering idiot, Rafael. But I think you realized that pretty fast. Shit happens, and Id probably be very curious to if our situations were reversed. Not that Id act on it, she adds severely, but well, curiosity is a huge aspect of humans. Trust her to turn it into a philosophical encounter. In utter gratefulness, I simply drop my head into her lap. After a moment, I feel her fingers thread into my hair and weave around until shed pretty much entangled her fingers. Curiosity killed the cat, I note, turning my head so that I wouldnt talk to her thighs. Yeah, but satisfaction brought it back. Theres warmth to her tone. True. The satisfaction of being alive. I didnt realize that Id said it out loud until she laughs, and gives me what I suppose was an affectionate kick in the leg. Which hurt, but who am I to complain? 0o0o0o0o0o0 All right. Things did happen I told Tessa what Id read, and Im going to assume that shed called Anne, because later I saw her red-eyed but happy in the hallway. Shed given me a small smile. Eva went on a date with a guy I didnt know, a fact that Jessie wasnt happy about. Nor was Jared, from what I heard. Earned himself another five hours of detention because of picking three fights. He still isnt talking to me by the way. It hurts. But the important thing is what youll see now. Yeah, Jessie wasnt as fond of me as she usually is, but it fades to nothing by Friday. I guess it was good that I was so grateful that she wasnt harboring a grudge for which I wouldnt be able to blame her for because she told me shed decided to go for the business engagement with the rest of her family. Though Id hesitate to call it a family.

Why? I demand, stretched out full length in the suns strong rays on the large, freshly mowed green lawn around the school. I open my eyes and between squinting and shading my eyes with my hand, Im able to see her face. She looks a bit closed off, but I let it go when she replies, Its not worth the fight. This way, I wont have any shit to worry about come Prom and graduation. Itll cover the rest of the summer as well, because I certainly dont plan to do anything for them for the next three years. As long as you dont feel obligated, I say, worried. She gives a short, mocking laugh. Oh, never, she says sarcastically. I reach up and tumble her on top of me. Since this weekend sounds like shit, enjoy today. Its Friday. Enjoy your namesake. Enjoy no work, because you are not doing anything for extra credit. She props her head on my chest to stare directly down into my eyes. Just one itty bitty essay? she wheedles. Sunshine! Okay, okay. I can think of a better way to spend a Friday, anyways. Really? I ask with interest. You promise its not an essay or something? She pouts. I already said I wouldnt, hmmm? I think back for a moment. Actually, you just said okay. Never made a promise about anything. Sneaky girl. Her grin is a bit wicked and definitely self-pleased. Well, Im going to head back to my family for a bit, I admit, tugging the hair tie out of her hair. Not that it takes much, because the ponytail is so ridiculously short half of her hair falls out of it by the end of the day anyways I dont even see why she bothers. I tug on the handfuls to bring her down for a quick kiss, and one that definitely isnt quick at all. So whats this fun thing? I ask. Later, she insists, so I stop bugging her, barely. And holy shit, did I find out later. Im in my room, packing up a bag with some bare essentials that I dont have back at home; my favorite shirt, cologne, my laptop, couple of CDs, when the door opens and shuts behind me.

Yeah? Its me. Oh. Whats up? I study two shirts with a scowl on my face. A deep blue with sleeves to match my eyes, or this tight black sleeveless tank top to show off my blondness? Decisions, decisions. I, ah, wanted to, um, tell you something. I mean, I shouldnt worry, because I have plenty more clothes like these at home, but you know how if you wear one thing a lot you just feel a lot more comfortable in it? Yeah, thats how it is with both shirts. I should probably check the weather, because if it rains itll be colder, so then Id want the long sleeved, but if its as hot as Rafael Montgomery! she sounds vaguely desperate. Well, so am I. I turn around with the both articles of clothing in my hands. Do you mind? I need to choose why are you wearing your robe? I ask in curiosity. Shes usually in all-encompassing pajamas. Usually, as in, Ive only seen her in something else once. I, ah, decided that Im ready. For what? I start to ask, but Jessie answers my unspoken question by revealing what she was wearing under the robe. The brown teddy Id gotten her so long ago. Well, you did tell me to tell you when I wanted to have sex, she babbled after I was stricken to silence. I brought some condoms, but I really didnt know which ones to get so I got random ones. I hope they work because Ive never really done this before and oh, damn it, will you stop staring? If you dont want to Im staring, I drawl slowly, effectively stopping her in mid-sentence, because you cant possibly realize how beautiful you look right now. She was, too. Shed brushed her hair till it nearly glowed in the dim light from my desk. The robe was a normal, plain thing, but under it Dear God, under it, she was all long, smooth limbs barely covered by that rich brown that matched her hair and her eyes that were dark with emotions and sensations I know are mirrored in my own. Under it, the slightly dusky tan that covered most of her body was visible, as were areas that obviously hadnt seen the sun in a long time.

Oh, she says, mollified, and lets the robe fall away when I tug it off the rest of the way. Thats a huge relief to hear. By the way, Im not wearing underwear with this. Didnt look right. No argument from here. Are you sure about this? I pull back and stare at her, wanting to see the truth in her eyes. And I did, and more, but Im not going to go into that now. Now, my friends, Im quite sure you all know what happened next, so give me a whole night of privacy, will you? Im going to be pretty damn busy. Amen. I walk into my room, and am about to toss my duffel bag on the bed when I realize, theres something on it. Oh, no Ill give you a hint. It has green eyes, short black hair, and is glaring at me. No. Not Jared. This here is no laughing matter. I stride to the door. Dani! I bellow. Yeah? Her voice floats up the stairs. Why the fuck is your evil cat on my bed? Yes. Danis evil cat. In fact, it used to be my aunts evil cat (I used to spray it with water a lot, I told you that) but then my aunt discovered she was allergic (aka that evil spirits had taken over her cat) so it got dumped on Dani. And Dani loves that cat to pieces, and the cat tolerates Dani to pieces. Everyone else it shreds to pieces. I glance back at the cat, and sure enough, its busy destroying my blanket. And it knows it, damn it. Its smiling at me. I swear. Dani runs into the room just in time to see me grab a sports magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the damn thing. No! She screams, tackling me around the waist. You bully! Dont hurt Bubba! She leaps to her feet and picks up Evil Incarnated (I call it E.I. for short). E.I. purrs, burrows into her arm, and sticks its tongue out at me. Sure, you can say it was licking its chops, but I know better. E.I. I hiss, getting to my feet, ruined my bed. I get another look at the blanket. Damn it! I yell. Dani whirls around and starts running out of my room, me hard on her heels.

Mom! Dani yells, skidding down the stairs, clutching a writhing Bubba/ E.I. to her chest. Rafaels trying to kill Bubba again! Mum! I yell, even louder, leaping the last six steps and catching Dani around the waist. E.I. ruined my bed! Just let me kill it a bit! So only my sister can hear me, I add, You can use the fur as a rug if you want. Dani spins around and, dropping Bubba/ E.I. on the floor, tries to punch me, spluttering incoherently. I grab her arm and pull while sticking my foot out and tripping her. She goes down, dragging me with her when I try to get my hands around Bubba/E.I.s throat. Okay. Youre all staring at me in total shock. Look. I cant explain, but this isnt a normal cat. Its this male demon that, ever since I sorta turned on the shower when he was sleeping in the tub, for some reason took an instant dislike to me. It barfs right in front of my door so I stepping the slimy goo first thing in the morning, pees on my homework, chews on my plants, tries to eat money I leave out and that was only talking about the time Dani brought him over from her apartment four years ago. And now she brought the stupid thing back. I guess me shaving the fur off back then didnt deter her. The doorbell rings, but we ignore it, even though we are right in front of the front door. Danis digging her nails into my arm painfully, and Im sprawled on the floor with her in a headlock. Sighing, Mum walks out the kitchen, delicately stepping over us. Just eighteen and nearly twenty-seven, she sighs. Where did I go wrong? I would have answered, but Dani just kicked my ankle really hard, so I tightened the headlock and tried to grab one of her scratching hands. Mum opens the door, but shes standing in the way, so all I hear is, Oh, honey, whats wrong? Come in! Dani and I both look up guiltily from where were still fighting on the floor when the person steps into the house. The person freezes when catching sight of the tangle of human limbs. My mouth falls open. Sunshine? 0o0o0o0o0 I swear I never do this, Jessie babbles to my mom, totally ignoring me. But I had nowhere to stay and I thought maybe if I could just stay one

night I would really appreciate it and I wont drop on you like this ever again I promise its just that Mum stops the flow of words when she gives Jessie a hard hug that probably took care of any oxygen in the lungs as well. Jessica, dear heart, youre quite welcome to stay as long as you want. Is that all your stuff? Yeah Jessie looks a bit shy all of a sudden. She still hasnt really looked at me. Its all I needed. Get off of me, I whisper to Dani. What? Get the hell off of me! Youre the one on me! I release her from the headlock, she detaches her claws from my skin, and we both stand up, straightening clothing and fixing hair. Hey, Jess, Dani says, as if she hadnt just been wrestling me a few seconds ago. Everything okay? Yeah she mumbles again. Guys? Everyone but Jessie (in other words, Dani and Mum) look at me. See that smudge on the wall over there? Can you guys study it for a moment? While everyone regards it, my sister with total confusion and Mum with a look that promises severe cleaning, I walk up to Jessie, tilt her chin up, and catch her lips with mine, lazily exploring her mouth when she opened hers with a little shocked gasp. I cup her face with my hands so she doesnt try to turn away, but theres no need of that - shes kissing me back. Ahem? Moments over. Go get a room. I rest my forehead against Jessies, pulling one hand away from where its cupping Jessies chin to stick up my middle finger towards the direction of Danis voice. Heya, Sunshine. H-hi. Mum whacks me in the shoulder. Dont flip your sister off, Raffie. Its rude. And talking about rooms put Jessica up in one of the spare ones. The poor girl looks exhausted. Rafael! she adds sharply, when I grab her luggage

with one hand and place the other hand on the small of Jessies back to guide her up the stairs. Not the one with the connecting door to your room. Jessie turns red. Dani snickers. I sulk. And Mum just smiles peacefully. I glance down, and Bubba/EIs smirking at me. Shut up. I snap to the cat. You dont even have a girlfriend. Jessie glances down, sees what Im talking too. Oooh! she enthuses. Whats his name? Bubba, Dani says. E.I., I add. When Jessie looks puzzled, I explain, Its an abbreviation for Evil Incarnate. Awww Jessie drops to her knees and reaches out to scoop up the cat. No! We all yell in horror. Even Mum cant touch the cat, and shes as angelic as they come. But its too late. Jessie catches Bubba/ E.I. up and hugs him. I stand there, frozen, ready for the scream as Bubba/ E.I. claws her face but none come. Instead, theres a humming noise? Bubba/ E.I. is purring happily in Jessies arm. Oh, my goodness, Mum says, her eyes bugging out of her head. Son of a bitch! (Me.) Congratulations, Dani announces, looking supremely pleased. You are the first girl Rafael has ever dated that Bubba likes. Well, actually, Dani adds, looking a bit startled as she realizes the full impact. Youre the third person he can stand. Firstly being our aunt and then me. And all three of them are really independent and bullheaded. Cool. Jessie grins, gives Bubba/ E.I. a last scratch under the chin. Okay, boo-boo, she coos in a lovey-dovey voice, and I watch in disgust as the little horror laps it all up. Im just going to go with Montgomery here to drop off my stuff. When Jessie walks past him towards the stairs, Bubba/ E.I. purrs extra loud. When I walk past, I get a hiss and the damn little shit bites my ankle. I jump, grit my teeth, and resist stepping on the fleabag. Plenty of time for rug-making later

Jessie glances over her shoulder at me. Hey, can I have the room I used last time? No, I say quickly. It ah has a leak or something. This ones a lot nicer. I choose one on the other side of my own, not the one with the connecting door, and open it. Its done mostly in pale lavenders, with some touches of rose. No, not pink, rose. Its pretty. And, yeah. Okay. I lied. This doesnt have a connecting door to my room, but, well theres this built in closet in my room, and if you press against the back of it in a certain spot, it kinda opens a panel into the other rooms built in closet. The one Jessies going to be in. Hah. Haha. What Mum doesnt know cant hurt her. I follow Jessie into the room, and put her stuff behind the door. Shes standing next to the bed, eyeing the room. I walk up to her and place my hands at her waist. Whats going on? I dont want to talk about it now, she murmurs, sliding her arms around my neck and nipping at my bottom lip. Id rather (Id rather, too.) Sunshine Some time later Im flat on my back, and shes on top of me, straddling my hips, and the second I say something, she tries to kiss me again. No, you dirty people; were fully clothed (rumpled, partly unbuttoned clothes, true, but still clothed). Second base only, I swear. I turn my head, and leverage myself to a sitting position, hooking my hands around her knees so she cant get up. Hold up. I thought you were going to spend this time with your parents. I was. She pouts a bit, fiddles with the top button of my (now very disheveled) shirt. She pops it open, closes it, opens it, and then closes it again. If thats not stalling, I dont know what is. Its also really distracting. What happened? She narrows her eyes. Jesus, Rafael, youre killing my mood here. Will you just fucking talk to me? Is that too much to ask? I snap it out angrily, and Jessie starts to pull away from me. Sunshine. Please. She stops in mid-movement, and after a long moment, she admits, I told my mother about Michael.

I pull her against me so that her head is resting in the hollow at the base of my neck. I thought youd told her before. Long before. No I decided to just she trails off. I dont know. But it just happened so fast. We were in the hotel, and renting rooms. It was going to be one for me, one for Mom and my step-dad, and one for Michael. But they only had two rooms, and Mom asked me if I wouldnt mind sharing with Michael I bare my teeth above her head. Assholes, blind ones, the lot of them. Michael said it was fine with him, and I didnt say anything. So Mom turns around to say yes, and Michael gives this smile she shudders and burrows against me. The next thing I know, I grab Moms arm and Im telling her I cant, because I dont trust Michael, and that hell hurt me or something. What does youre mom do? She she turned around, and slapped me. She just turned around coolly and smacked me in the face and called me a liar, right there in the hotel, with everyone watching, and she told me to leave. Just like that. Her voice quavers, and I can practically feel my blood boil. I keep any expression off my face, thought. I just ran. Ran like a fucking coward, grabbed a random bag from the bellman, dove into a taxi and came here. The bag I grabbed had my make up and my wallet. Wait. I pull away, look at her face carefully. I didnt see anything. I look closer, and I realize theres a thin layer of concealer over her face. I lick my finger, and wipe a bit of it away. Its hard to see, but her skin is reddened beneath it. You mean, your familys here? In the city? Sightseeing? She freezes, and grabs my hands when I pull them away from her waist with the intent of tugging her off of me. No, Rafael. No, no, no. You cant. You know what this is? Its fucking child abuse! Im not a child! She cries out. Damn it, Montgomery, two more months and I go to college, and I never have to go back home again. Its not worth it. So I give in. I tell her I wont do anything. When Mum calls us to dinner, I sit at the table and chat away, smiling, always smiling. I give Jessie a long kiss goodnight, because shes tired and had nearly fallen asleep at the table. And when shes safely tucked into bed, courtesy of me, thats when I go to the living room and head straight for the liquor cabinet.

Dani beats me to it and stands in front of it. Youre not getting drunk, Rafael. No, Im not, I agree. I just want one shot. Will you tell me whats going on? Will you let me at the damn booze? 0o0o0o0o0 Dani automatically pours me my sixth shot and herself her third. Damn it, Rafael, she sighs. Theres nothing more Id like to do than call Dave, ask him to hack around to find out where theyre staying, and go over there with some bribed police officials in tow. But thats interfering. So? I ask the bottom of my shot glass, then hold it out for it to be refilled. Dani pours me one more, closes the bottle, and puts it away with only the slightest hint of unbalance. Good thing Mum went to her charity thing tonight, or shed ground you and lock me out the house for drinking, Dani observes. You cant interfere with Jessie because she doesnt like people prodding into her personal life. I kinda picked that up at the dance. I mean, she might let you, because youreyou? No, I mutter sullenly. She doesnt let me in, either. I mean, she lets me in a bit, more than I think she lets most people, but I know most stuff by discovering it on my own. Damn it, Dani, what am I supposed to do? Seriously? Yeah. Coddle her. If anyone needs some sneaky, sly coddling, its her. Breakfast in bed, take her out to the movies, walk around, and just be there for her. And dont bring up all this shit. She needs to get away from it for a while. I scowl. Yeah. I figured that out myself. But, damn it, I feel like a deadbeat, just sitting here. Dani twirls the shot glass around slowly, watching as the liquid swirls around. What exactly did you promise her? That I wouldnt go to them.

She rolls her eyes. Rafael. Master of the loophole. Think, you idiot! 0o0o0o0o0 So the next day I took her out for lunch (the fight to pay for the bill was deadly, though), and wandered around for a few hours, talking and laughing. After a while, I got hungry again, so we went into a pizzeria. I got two slices, and she got an Italian Ice. Chocolate, she tells the guy behind the counter. Chocolate? I like rainbow, I tell her. I hate rainbow, she says with a small shudder. We grabbed a table by the window, and, after a few minutes, started making up life stories for people that walked by. Her! I tilt my head towards a thin blonde girl that looks to be about thirteen. I bet she does okay in school. Shes single, just got out of her first relationship. And shes talking to her friend on the cell phone. That hot brown-haired guy over there, Jessie retaliates. Hes dating a great catch, but hes not that interested in her. I eye the guy. How do you know that? Because, look it him, laughing with his friends. Totally smug, but he checks out the ass of every female under thirty that walks past him. See! There he goes again. Sure enough, he glances at the face of a young woman in a navy blue business suit, then glances at her butt when she walks past. I cant hear him, but I can see the admiring look on his face, which changes to one of shock when the woman spins around and flips him off, other hand fisted at her side. My mouth falls open. Id know that stance anywhere. He just checked out my sisters butt! I lunge out of my chair, scaring the crap out of some little kids sitting nearby. Jessie leaps up and grabs my arm, grinning. Montgomery, shes twenty-seven. Shes handled it. Shes gone. Its history. Let it go. He checked out my sister! I glare at Jessie. Whats so godda- Wait, little kids are still staring at me in terror Er incredibly funny? You, she answers succinctly. She glances at her watch, the other hand now firmly on my chest. Hmmm. She must have been walking back from her

business meeting. I guess it went badly. Want to go talk to her, make sure shes okay? No, I mutter. Shes fine. Id forgotten; she lives near here. Then sit back down, eat your pizza, and dont make an idiot of yourself. Mission accomplished, she sits back down, then sighs. Well, shit. My icy melted. She picks up the small paper container and tilts her head back and swallows the liquid, her throat moving as she swallows. Buy another one, I suggest. She looks hopeful for a moment, and then subsides. I dont want to break my ten, she explains. I start to reach for my own wallet. No! You already bought me lunch! Im fine. I stop and look at her incredulously. Sunshine. Its a dollar. She flushes. No, its okay. I dont want another one. Really. I slap the bill on the counter. Two choices. You get another icy, or I buy a rainbow one and force feed you. She snatches the bill up. No. Chocolate. Force feed me rainbow and Id have to kill you. Leaving that threat hanging in the air, she gets up huffily to buy the icy. The annoyed faade, however, vanishes after two bites into it. Chocolate tends to do that to her. (Maybe shell let me treat her more from now on.) I take a big bite of my pizza and glare at the asshole across the street, just as he whistles after a girl who turns red and hurries a bit faster. Guess what side of the street Jessies not going to be on when Im done with my pizza and we leave? 0o0o0o0o0 When we get home a few hours later, Dani has everything ready. As Jessie walks in, Dani sticks her head around the corner. Hey, Jess, do you need some extra clothes? Because Im going shopping now. Jessie shakes her head. Um nah, Im fine. Thanks though. Dani comes fully around the corner and puts her hands on her sides. Jessica Davidson, Id bet my last paycheck that the only clothes you have on you are those on your back.

Theres a beat of silence. Then, Then may I please use some of your old clothes? Dani rolls her eyes. Darling. I dont have old clothes. Perks of being loaded. However, if you hit the stores with me, I might get my lazy ass to dig into the scary dark corners of my closet for slacks or sweatpants. Being wise, Jessie agrees, and is whisked back out the house not two minutes after shed walked in with me. So, the house is now to myself. I head to the kitchen where one of the phones are, and sure enough, in Danis pretty handwriting, is the hotel address, phone number, and room number of Jessies mother. I pick up the phone and dial the number. It barely rings before a womans voice answers. Hey. I need to talk to Sue Davidson, room number fivesixteen. Hold on a minute, please. Thanks, I murmur absently, and jump up on the kitchen counter and tapping my fingers against one of the wooden shelves near my head. A moment later, the phone starts ringing again, and a worried, familiar voice says, Jess? Jess, is that you? No, its Rafael. Rafael Montgomery. Is she with you? Is she all right? She asks frantically. Yeas. Shes here, I say coldly. And shes fine. No thanks to you, of course. Theres an audible intake of breath, and after a moment, her voice is cool and collected, with none of her initial panic. What goes on between my daughter and I is none of your concern, Mr. Montgomery. Tell her I want her to come back to the hotel right now. No, I say just as evenly. Shes staying with me, now. And it is my concern, as were together and will be for a long, long time if I have any say in it. Which I do. Now, I have to go. Im not going to come to you. Nor will Jessie. But if you want to come here, then youre invited. Almost an hour passes before I look out the window to see a taxi pull up against the curb. 0o0o0o0o0

Cosmetics can do a lot, but not everything. Mrs. Sue Davidson had her lips glossed, her eyes lined, but the deepened shadows under her cheekbones and her eyes were clearly visible, and the powder smudged on her eyelids did nothing to detract from the exhausted look in them. She also had the frail, unhealthy look of a woman whohad lost too much weight far too fast. If you ask me, shes on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Do you want something to drink? I offer, closing the door behind her as she walked stiffly into the house without even looking at me. Shes wearing this dark gray outfit, and looks ready to go to a funeral. I thought about changing into more presentable clothes, but had decided that there was no fucking way I was going to do shit for this woman. Just water, she responds crisply, and follows me into the living room. She was looking around curiously when I left, and when I came back with a cup and a small pitcher of water and placed it on the table, shes sitting in one of the comfortable chairs around the small wooden table. I would have thought the Montgomery household would have been more she hesitates. Opulent? I smile wryly. She blinks, like shes surprised I even know how to pronounce the word, let alone know how to use it, but recovers quickly. Im quite sure your family owns many other villas and places all over the world Im quite sure, too. but Im not here to talk about your familys wealth. I refrain from pointing out that hey, she started it, anyway. Actually, I invited you here because of Jessie. Her nostrils flared. What did she tell you? That you wanted her to share a room with your son, and when she refused, when she told you that she felt unsafe, you hit her, called her a liar, and told her to leave. All alone in a strange city. Jessica is not a child. Obviously, she knows how to take care of herself. She gives a small laugh. Runs crying to her rich boyfriend and haves herself a great time. Probably out spending your money. I smile. I cant help it. You really dont know Jessie, do you?

And you think you do? You think you have the right to smile at me and say I dont know my own daughter, my own flesh and blood? Her hand shakes when she brings the cup up to her lips to take a small sip. Shes a spoiled brat thats too young to understand what Ive sacrificed for her. I blow out my breath slowly and sit down opposite of her. You married rich for Jessie, didnt you? So that you could move out of the lower class, so that what happened to your husband wouldnt happen to her? She set down the glass with a snap. Do you know what its like to live in a bad neighborhood? To worry that every time your daughter goes outside to play that a car might drive by and someone inside might grab her, that the next time youll see her is to identify yet another broken body? That when I ran out to the store, someone might try to break in while I was gone and harm her for a twenty dollar bill? No, I dont, I admit. But what I do know is Jessie is miserable. Shes a liar, Sue responds stiffly. I raise an eyebrow. Does Jessie have a habit of punching herself in the face? I beg your pardon? Michael stayed for a few weeks at the Cooper school, right? Her eyes narrowed. Did you have anything to do with him coming home with his whole face smashed up? (Yep!) Did Michael have something to do with Jessie coming back to her room with bruises on her arms and on her right cheek? Her face pales. What were you doing in her room? For fucks sake, Michael backhanded her across the face, threatens her, and all your worried about is why I was in her room, waiting for her to come back after she vanishes in the middle of a dance I went with her too? (close enough, right?) Yeah, you made sacrifices for your daughter. Youre going to let a husband you dont love and a son thats not even yours hurt the one person youd do anything for? She was pressing her lips together so tightly that they were dead white and without another word, she got up and walked out the room, and a few seconds later I heard the front door slam shut.

0o0o0o0o0 I barely had time to dump the glass into the dishwasher before the front door swings open again. I walk quickly out of the kitchen with the pitcher in my hand, all ready to face Sue Davidson again, but instead it was her daughter. Had fun? I ask. Jessie has a somewhat dazed look in her eyes. Your sister took forever to go through this whole pile of clothes. I swear. Ive never seen anything like it. I swear, she could tell if one thread in the seam was shorter than the other. I laugh. Did she buy anything? Yeah! And that was the weird part! She drives the saleswoman ballistic so that the poor woman nearly pulled out her dyed blonde hair, and she decides after trying everything on a billion times that she doesnt want to buy anything, and shes walking out the store when she just reaches out, grabs this random suit thingy off the rack, and buys it without even checking the size or anything! Hell, Im still not sure if it was green or turquoise! Dani comes in with a shopping bag just in time to hear the last comment. Oh, its okay, she assures the rattled Jessie. Im pretty good with this kind of stuff. I think it was green, anyway. Jessie waits till Dani drags the bag up the stairs before rounding on me. She made me try on all these dresses and skirts and shit. If you ever, ever sic your sister on me again like that, this relationship is doomed. Aw, I cajole. Youll dump me cause you cant stand my sister? I dont dislike her! Jessie protests, sounding horrified that I would come to that conclusion. Actually, I really, really like her! Ive always wanted a sister like that. You can have her, I offer, and, with the ease of close to two decades of practice, duck a shoe that Dani throws at me from where shed been leaning over the balcony and listening in total amusement. Id rather be Jessies sister than yours, she shoots back, and vanishes from sight, and a moment later theres the sound of a door slamming. Do you think she means that? Jessie asks me, sounding eager.

I laugh, slinging an arm around her shoulder. As I said, you can have her. But its really nice how much they like each other. I mean, hopefully Jessie wont, well, look up to Dani, because one Dani in my life is enough, but still. She grins. Hey, um, was someone here when you were gone? My laughter dies. No, I say quickly. Why are you holding a pitcher of water? I glance at my hand; sure enough, its got the handle of the jar in a tight grip. Um I was going to water my plants. In my room. Shes looking at me with her eyes narrowed. Do you always use such an expensive pitcher? I roll my eyes and start up the stairs. I realize Im the guilty one here, but she doesnt know that, so her questioning is kind of annoying. Next time Ill look for a plastic one, okay? Whatever, she says tightly. I feel my step falter for a brief second. She couldnt theres no way nah. If Jessie saw her mom here, shed ask questions. And if she knew Id lied about it, I wouldnt be alive. So the fact that Im alive means she has no idea about what just happened. Phew. 0o0o0o0o0 Hola, Diary, I saw my mom get into a taxi. I dont care what the hell Rafael says watering plants in his room, my ass that was her getting into the cab outside the house, but by the time it registered, the cab was already tearing down the block, way too fast for m to do anything about it. Why the fuck did he lie to me? And hes always nagging about honesty maybe I dont lay my heart out to him, but I dont keep stuff like this to myself. Because I wouldnt butt into peoples lives. Im just going to keep my mouth shut until I get more proof. Or until I find a good time to confront him. Jessie

0o0o0o0o0 Im going to scream. This is wrong. Horribly wrong. Its times like this where I wonder what did I do wrong? Was I really that appalling? Did I really break that blondes heart so badly two summers ago? Someone ate the last of the Nutella, and if I dont get a scoop, Im going to scream. Jessie comes into the kitchen. She looks really tired and her face looks set. Im about to ask her whats wrong when she whispers, Raffie, its one in the morning. What are you doing here? I want Nutella, I say mournfully. She gives me a weird look. Do you have your period? What? No. Hey! She sighs and raises her eyes to the ceiling as she mutters, Thank you, God, for giving me a boyfriend that actually wasnt gay in his last life, but was a girl. She lowers her gaze and smiles at my face. You look offended. Humph. Her smile widens. Thats fine. Just as long as shit! she hisses as she opens the freezer. Someone ate the last of the chocolate ice cream! Snark. I snicker. And I bet you do have your period. She stares at me, and then her gaze flickers to the drawer where the knives are. Excuse me? Nothing, O Mighty One. I sigh. I really, really need sugar. I glance down. Loose gray sweats, and Id tugged on a beater before going downstairs. You know what? Im going to go to the store to get some ice cream. At this hour? Delis are always open, I remind her. Something shifts in her face, and an odd shadow seems to darken her eyes. Delis arent safe at night. Please dont go. Wait till morning.

I open my mouth, shut it, open it again. Sunshine itll be fine. I promise. I start to walk past her when she grabs at my waist, her eyes wide. I shake her off, suddenly exasperated and tired and grumpy. Stop fucking worrying all the time. Its effing annoying, you know that? Just know when to drop it. And I storm out the house, keys in one hand, sneakers on my bare feet, and a pale-faced girlfriend whos soft denial got cut off as I quietly but firmly shut the door. Its a five-minute walk, and the lights are on and bright. I peek inside the window, and see there are quite a few people inside. The dude behind the counter smiles in welcome, so I smile back, sidestepping a smart-looking woman in a business suit on my beeline to the freezers with heavenly ice cream and rows and rows of Nutella, when everything just seems to tense up. There are soft exclamations, and I turn around to see a guy thats the only impression I got. What my eyes are on was the medium-sized black gun that hed just slid out of his faux-leather jacket. Get down! he orders in a shaking voice, but his hands are steady on the trigger. (You know, Sunshine, I really do hate it when youre right.) Get down! The guy screams again, his voice strangled. I take one look at his eyes, wild and incomprehensive, at the gun he is holding, and drop to the floor. I said get down! He yells for a third time, and theres a gunshot followed by a cry of pain. My ears are ringing from the loud cracking noise, but through it I can hear several people cry out, and theres a thudding noise. Give me the money! I feel the bile in the back of my throat, hot and foul. Im near the guy, too, no more than three feet away. I can see his dirty sneakers, and when I tilt my head I can see his face covered in a black ski mask. He laughs, a shrill, wild laugh that tells me that all of his confidence was due to whatever high hed pumped himself up on. The money, put it in this bag. Now! and theres the muffled sound of heavy cloth hitting the counter. From the way his hands are starting to shake, Id say the slightest aggravation would end in him pumping the whole fucking clip into the handiest target. My mouth is cotton dry with fear, and any second now I imagine I would feel a bullet slam into my unprotected back I thought of my parents, of Dani, of Tessa, and then all I could imagine was Jessies face when she found out. Because this was how her father died.

The bullets came a few seconds later. Sirens pierced the air, scaring him into pulling the trigger; I guess the gun was an automatic or something. The shot was wild, I suppose, because it hits some glass jars above me. I felt the little glass shards cut into my unprotected face and arms painfully, and I fling an arm over my eyes. It wasnt the best thing; the move must have startled the gunman. Another shot cracks out, and this time I feel this sharp fiery sensation across my side, and my whole body jerks. After a second, I wonder if Id imagined it, because everythings gone numb and I cant feel anything. I glance down and sigh. Well, fuck. Thats a helluva lot of blood welling up right there. Shit I glance up as the guy bursts into action. In fright, the guy tries to grab a woman near the counter as a hostage or bargaining tool, I suppose. But she was so scared that she cant walk, and after a few precious moments, he curses and lashes out at her with the butt of the gun, then runs out the door. I sat up carefully. Because the window was right near me, I had an unadulterated view of what happened next; at least seven or eight cop cars came up both sides of the street, trapping him. Lower your weapon and get down with your hands behind your An announcer ordered, but before it could finish, the guy had taken the situation in his own hands he ate his gun. I couldnt care less. The moment the third shot ran out, his body crumples, illuminated by the flashing lights of the cruisers. The police flood into the deli to help the wounded (like me) and everyone else. As a policeman kneels next to me, motioning frantically for paramedics, I ask wryly, I guess youll have to tell my parents Id snuck out late, huh? My voice wobbled on the last word. 0o0o0o0o0 Ive never seen my parents or Dani look so worried as they did when they hurried towards me. I was totally fine according to the MTs, the bullet had just nicked me, and although cleaning it had hurt like a bitch (yeah, I yelled, sue me) it was just as life threatening and painful as a small, bad burn. Two people at a time, only, A passing nurse snapped, and Dani mutters a curse and steps back out of sight. Mum glance behind her. Well be right out. She turns and all but flings herself on me. Oh, Raffie! When the when the police and she started crying. Dad put an arm around her shoulders and with the other hand vaguely

fishes in his pocket for tissues. Thats Dad. Hes always got an absentmindedness about everything. Dani sticks her head around the curtain shielding me from the other beds, her face ashen. Rafael? Are you okay? Id come in further but that nurse is watching us like a damn hawk. Im fine. My side stings a bit, though. I also had the cuts cleaned, and one had a solitary stitch across my left eyebrow. Theyd had to pull out a piece of glass that had been more deeply embedded than the others (I didnt scream. Arent you proud?) and it might scar. Hey, its dashing. No complaints. I mean, yeah, it cuts across my eyebrow, but still. Its kinda cool. Nice scar, Dani says as my fingers brush against it, sounding a lot calmer now that she knows Im fine. You should be glad you have it. Because it makes me a bit less perfect? I joke with a grin. It gives you your only hint of character, she amends, annoyed. What dimwitted numbskull told you your face is perfect? It so isnt. Whats wrong with it, then? I challenge. Wheres Jessie? She should be here, too, I realize. She must have been home when she police came She throws her hands in the air. I cant believe I got worried. Youre, like, disgustingly resilient. Mum, stop crying all over him. Hes gotten that cocky look on his face twice already. Hes fine. And he wants Jessie. She grabs Mum and Dad and steers them away, whispering something to them; they nod and leave. She leans over to my ear and whispers, She fainted when the police came. I jerk upright into a sitting position. My side shrieks in protest, but all I cared about at that moment was the fact that shed fainted. What? I realize what shes talking about when she leaves and Jessie steps around the curtain into my line of vision tentatively, her face pale and hands knotted together. I wordlessly hold open my arms, and she freezes. I dont want to hurt you. Get the hell over here, I snap, and the next thing I know shes kneeling on the bed and shes got both arms around my neck. I position her so shes sitting next to me on the bed, and then allow myself the luxury of wrapping my

arms around her, hands splayed on her back to hold her close. Im okay, Sunshine. Quite frankly, she needs more cuddling than I do. I mean, fainted? Damn it, it must have been like a rerun of her fathers death for her. Are you okay? She gives a kind of watery laugh against my neck. Why are you asking me? Are you alright? I nudge her up and away from me, and point out everything. Cuts from glass. More cuts here, on my arms. I lift up the shirt theyd let me put back on (I balked at staying in a hospital gown, even I dont look that good in those things) and touch the bandage lightly. The bullet just grazed me, Sunshine. Im fine. Now you. She avoids my gaze. Im fine. Except for getting scared shitless when they said youd gotten shot in a She trails off and swallows hard and tries to smile, but it doesnt come out that good. I guess I jumped to a more drastic conclusion. If she doesnt want to admit how scared shed been, then I wouldnt push her. I only have to stay a day, I murmur, lying back down but keeping my hands around her waist. Its superficial. Ill be out of here by tomorrow night. Stay with me? Jessie looks shocked that I even have to ask. 0o0o0o0o0 Ill be honest. Ive been back home for two days; there are three more days till the vacation is over. And if one more ex-girlfriend comes rushing over with flowers and a tight, low-cut top to coo over me, Ill blockade the front door myself. With the exception of when Rae and Chase came, Jessie tended to slip off when a girl would come over, leaving me all alone to fend off any advances, which would start with a, Omigosh, are you okay? Maybe I could Im fine. All I need is sleep, lots and lots of food and dessert, and Jessies company. I get a fair amount of the first, an endless supply of the second, but its the third thing Im worried about. Shes I dont know. She sits with we, walks with me, plays board games and watches movies with me, eats with me, talks and laughs with me, but I feel like a small part of her is being reserved, like shes struggling with what had happened. She keeps it deep inside, and I dont know if I should say something or not. Do I let her figure it out on her own, or should I help?

Jessie? I ask while were sitting on the sofa, watching Underworld (something about watching Kate Beckinsale prowl around in tight black clothing never fails to cheer me up). When she just gazes at the screen, totally absorbed, I wave a hand in front of her face. Yo. Sunshine. She blinks and looks at me. Huh? Whats wrong? She blinks again. Um nothing? She sounds confused, and I frown. Am I just imagining it? I just feel like emotionally, shes distanced herself from me I guess its just me. How odd. Why? I shrug. I dunno. You just seem to be really pensive lately. She laughs. Pensive? Oh, no, call the shrink. She sobers when I glare at her. Hey, Im just playing. Im just thinking she trails off. Im about to ask what shes thinking about, but them my mum sticks her head into the room. Raffie, darling, theres some girl named Melissa Melinda! Danis voice calls out from somewhere in the house. You dated her in seventh grade for two weeks! Ah, yes, thats where I recognized her from. Melinda wants to see you. She brought a box of chocolates Mum glances at Jessie. Would the two of you want them or can I eat them? I glance at Jessie, and by the way her eyes had lit up at the thought of chocolate, I knew the moment was lost. I scowl. Stupid Melissa. Er, Melinda that is. 0o0o0o0o0 Id just finished going through the billion messages on my cell phone (how had everyone gotten my number?) and the billion emails (which also got out). I finally just called Julian and asked him to send a mass email to everyone in the girls school to say that I was okay. He said of course and that he hoped I got better soon. I click open a random email and sigh. It was one of my more emptyheaded flings, and the whole email was filled with omg and my poor baby. Um, Im not your baby never was I roll my eyes, type back that Im fine, and delete the email as fast as I can.

I hear footsteps approaching down the hallway, but I dont really pay attention until they stop in front of my door, someone opens it, and imparts in an explanatory kind of way, I get it. 0o0o0o0o0 What? I ask, confused, swiveling around in my computer chair to face the figure that just stepped into my room. She has the weirdest look on her face, like shes about to cry or something, but her voice is perfectly steady and almost wondering, like shed just had some personal epiphany. I guess I understand it now, Jessie divulges with a small smile. Understand what? Why my mom didnt marry for love again. She wanders in and sits on my bed, her eyes never leaving my face. My parents were made for each other, Rafael. Maybe she swallows hard and wavers for a moment, maybe I dont remember him that much, or as well as I used to. Maybe I dont remember what he sounds like when he laughs, what tie he liked to wear, but I remember that he and Mom loved each other so damn much, that most of her died with him. Jessie I start, and then stop, feeling helpless. What do I say? I remember when she found out, she continues, her face eerily still, like after the time Michael had hit her. I was on the sofa, watching T.V., and some one knocked on the door, and she went to open it, and there were to police men, and she asked, Whats wrong? Like a part of her had a feeling, but she didnt want to believe it. Well, they told her. She cocked her head to the side, as if searching for a memory so old and shunned she could barely remember it. She made this soft wailing noise, collapsed, and after that, for about a week, she didnt speak at all. Not even to me. Jessie, I repeat, and start to get up, but she shakes her head slowly. Dont. I have to say this. When the police came here, I had this feeling. And when they said youd been shot in a convenience store robbery, I realized that this was how my mother must have felt. She draws in a deep breath, staring at her hands now, resting sedately in her lap. And I cant blame her for not wanting to love again. Shit happens, I say slowly. Oh, God, she better not go where I think shes headed. Jessie, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. You could trip and fall

down the stairs. Thats life. You take risks, and you get hurt. But you get back up, Jessie. You go on. You have to get back up. What do you know about getting up? She screams at me suddenly, hands clenched into fists. Youve never fallen! She leaps up and spins around, arms raised over her head to take in all our surroundings. Look at you, Rafael! Youre the golden boy. Everyone loves you. Anyone that doesnt is crushed easily. And if you fall, itll be okay. Because you have two parents who love you to get you back on your feet. A sister to smack common sense into you for the next time. Friends that would die for you. Id die for you, Jessie. Not if youre already dead, she whispers bitterly. I guess we all learn from life, Montgomery. If going on is what you do, then go on. What happens next is just so disgustingly fucking perfect that a small part of me cant help but marvel at lifes timing while the other part of me is petrified. Theres a piece of paper kinda shoved in the corner a bit under my suitcase but the writing is pretty visible. Brow furrowed, she gets up to pick it up. I cant move fast enough to stop her, and even if I did it would have been too late, anyway. Ah, crap, double crap, and what a mother. Its the note. The damn note Id left her after cuddling with her when Id been at the guys school, the note shed put in her diary and had fallen out. I thought Id put it back in but apparently, it had somehow gotten into my suitcase, fallen out, and now was in Jessies hand while she stares at it. How did you she starts, totally bemused. It clicks. It just clicks for her, I can see it in her face, in her eyes, in the sudden deviating body language as she tenses. The note. Her diary. Everyones odd attitude around her. I can see it on her face, can just see all the small things Ive done add up. Michael, probably. Benjamin. Brad. What else have I done? The play letting her go after me And with that, her face turns to one of total and complete fury. You read my fucking diary? she shrieks. I can explain I try to pacify her, knowing full well I cant explain. She throws the note at me. It goes only about a foot and flutters down harmlessly, but the football trophy she picks up next goes a lot farther and faster. You asshole! she cries out, tears welling in her eyes. How could you?

Wait You went after Michael, didnt you? You read everything I wrote! You knew about everything! Has everyone been lying to me? Youve been playing with me the whole time? I open my mouth in horror to deny it, but she rolls on. You always tell me Im too closed up, to this, too that, but gues what, Montgomery? Youre too selfish. You dont care about anyone bt yourself! You dont think Id recognize my own mother getting into a cab? I must have blanched or something, because she sucked in a hard breath. Yeah. Yeah, thats what I thought. Cant stand someone not having a perfect life like yours, and you just have to try and fix everything. Because God forbid something doesnt go the way you want it to. Good God, no, I exclaim, aghast, but shes already spun around and ran out my room as fast as she can, slamming the door behind her as hard as she can. Im only a few feet behind her at this point, so I pull the door open and step out, ready to take out all my anger and worries on her that had been building up for the past three days. What and just like that, my voice catches in my throat and the words die. Jessies suitcase is packed and near the door, and she hurries down the staircase, not stopping to look at me once. From the way her shoulders are shaking, its a safe bet to make that shes crying. Jessie! I yell after her, stopping with a small silent gasp as my side sparks with pain. You cant always just fucking run away from your fears! She stops, but doesnt look at me. You read my diary. You lied to me. That suitcase has nothing to do with that, I snarl. Okay, Im treading on thin ice there probably isnt even any ice left but Im desperate. You ran to a boarding school to get away from your family. Now youre gonna run because your scared again? My voice is a bit taunting, but inside, my stomach is twisting itself into knots. Shed been planning this, I realize. Shed been turning the idea over and over in her head, not sharing with anyone, until shed turned a past experience into a phobia. She turns around, and, sure enough, there are tears falling steadily, and her nose is going bright red. I cant, Rafael. Her voice quavers precariously. Oh, God, Im so sorry. And I hate you. Jessie! I yell one last time, cursing the burn that wont let me run, cursing her for being such a quick packer, cursing myself because I should have seen this coming, and fucking hell, her for being such a goddamn coward, but shes already left, quickly blending in with the people hurrying up and down

the sidewalk outside my house, said people not even noticing, not caring, about the sobbing girl with the suitcase threading between them. 0o0o0o0o0 You idiot! Tessa yells at me, charging into the kitchen where I was slumped in a chair, head in my hands with my family hovering around, worried but not wanting to intrude. I wish Tessa would have gotten the same hint, but shes Tessa. Didnt I tell you not to fuck it up? she takes one look at my (probably really miserable) face and the next thing I know, shes halfcrouching next to me and hugging me. I dont say anything, but I rest my aching head against her chest. Oh, Rafael, she sighs. What happened? I wasnt going to say anything, but before I knew it, the whole story spilled out; Jessies father, our fight, everything. When I mention the diary, Dani gasps (er, Id kinda gone into hers too, remember?), my father groans, and my mother sighs. When Id finished, Tessas quiet, absently running her hand through my hair. Dani braining you with a frying pan didnt teach you a lesson? It was right there, I sigh. And shed just abandoned me, for Chrissakes. What did you expect me to do? Talk to her. But I guess its too late now. My dad speaks up. I just got off of the phone with the airport, he says. Jessica just safely boarded a plane. Theyd had an open seat, and she used her credit card to pay up front. He runs a hand through his gray-speckled brown hair. The flight attendants remembered her, because shed been, as they said, crying her heart out in one of the ladies rooms on board and another traveler had gotten worried and told them. Oh, Raffie, Mum sighs. I cant listen to them anymore, and stand up sharply. My side makes its protest known, but I dont listen. So its all my fault? I spit out, furious. Okay. So I fucked up. Big time. But what could I have done? She doesnt trust me! I think she did, Raffie, my mother says gently. But now I slam my fist hard on the table, making Tessa jump. Then why does she always run? I ask, more to God than anyone else, and turn around and walk

a bit ungainly out the silent room. I guess no one knew the answer. Either that or they didnt want to tell me. 0o0o0o0o0 Finally, someone does. You scare her, Tessa says. Shed, after waiting a few minutes, followed me into my room and sat next to where Id flopped onto my stomach onto my bed. Shes a very organized person, Rafael. Person A fits in slot A, event B goes under file B. Its the way she deals with things. You, on the other hand, just let it come, and you go with the flow. So? I retort rudely. I really dont care. Yeah. You hear that? I dont care. If Jessie and I never see each other again, I dont care. If we have to see each other for the last week of school, then Ill stay in someone elses room. No prob. I dont have to deal with her at all. The thought is a painful jab, and this time it wasnt something I could blame on the bullet. You dont fit in slot A through Z, nor in file A through Z. Youre something new, and I dont think she really knew how to handle you. She runs because its the only way she stays on her feet, and she sighs. She trusts you, but, Christ, Rafael, imagine how she feels. She had to go through her fathers death and her mothers withdrawal. Blocking emotions is how she deals with things, and that was a fucking close call you had. She shudders, and bends over to rest her head on my back. You scared the shit outta me, too. I roll over carefully and touch her cheek. Hey, Tessa, Im not leaving yet. I still have at least a million things left to do to torture humanity. She sighs. Yeah, I figured. You know what I also figure? What? I ask, guarded. Jessies a smart girl. Give her a few days, and let her think about everything. Because, deep down inside, Im sure she knows she doesnt want to make the same mistake her mom made. How do you know this stuff? I inquire irascibly. She winks. Im a girl, Rafael. 0o0o0o0o0

I send Jessie a card, and the timing was just so that shed receive it the second to last day before spring break was over. I dont have a return address on it so she wouldnt toss it before opening it first. Mum is worried, because it has a first class ticket back to here, but I have faith in the postal system. 0o0o0o0o0 Hey, You know, Id felt totally shattered. Empty. When Id walked into that room, I thought that well, I dont know. I was hoping that maybe Rafael would tell me that he understood. And what? Let me leave? Was that really what Id wanted? But whatever it was, the last thing Id expected was to find a piece of paper from my diary to be discarded in his room, just lying there for the world to see. When I got home, I knew that my family had already gotten there. But there were three big surprises. One: my mom was waiting for me at the airport. She didnt say anything, just opened her arms out to me. I stood there for like a minute, before I realized that I didnt want to push anyone else away from me. So I hugged her. She felt so thin and frail; I hadnt noticed that before. She cried. The second surprise was that when we got to the car, it was piled high with luggage. Mom, apparently, had confronted Michael, and hed admitted to hitting me. Mom didnt give me the details, but when I looked at her left hand, it was bare. She told me that we would stay in a hotel until she found a new place for us to live. And she told me that she would quietly file for a divorce, and that she had enough money from the marriage that she could support us well until she found a job. And thats when I started crying. The third surprise, was before I knew it, I just told her everything,. Just everything about Rafael, everything from the first day wed bumped into each other until Id left his house hours before. She was quiet for a long, long time after that, and finally pulled the car over into a small side street. She looked like she was unsure of what to say, and then she told me that if she had to choose again between going through the pain of Dads death to never meeting him at all, she wouldnt think twice about choosing love. She said that when Rafael told me that shit happens, hed been correct, that life wasnt perfect, and often could be incredibly ugly, but it was seeing the beauty in it that decided if I really wanted to live up to the fullest. So when I asked her if I should go back, she told me it would be the smartest thing I would have done so far. Because, she said, how else am I going

to smack him for reading my diary? She said it with a small smile, though. She told me to wait till I had to go back to school, though, so I could just sort out everything in my head. So I waited and Rafael sent me a plane ticket back. Im going in a few hours but I need to get some stuff from the other house. Maybe I can get a last shot in at Michael before I leave. Mom offered to drive me there, but I told her Id go alone. I dont think she can handle seeing her now ex-husband again her lifes totally gone haywire, too, I guess. So now Im off to face the music and make my plane. Jessie P.S. She admitted that shed met with Rafael, but she refuses to say what happened. Thats between Rafael and me, she said. Im not strong enough to tell you, but one day, I will. And she swore that Rafael obviously had nothing in his mind except for me. 0o0o0o0o0 On that day, I checked my mail as I had been doing for the past few days (not obsessively, you know, just leaving the internet on 24/7 and jumping like a rabbit every time I got an email), and shed emailed me. I clicked it open, and all it said was, Meet me at the airport. 0o0o0o0o0 The plane was to arrive at nine PM that day. Even though Id wanted to get there by maybe six, you know, to make sure I dont miss her accidentally, Mum wouldnt let me out the door. Dad had been driven crazy by my pacing back and forth, as had Tessa. So Dani alone watches me trace a path back and forth across the living room. She leans forward. Hey, Rafe, I think that area of the floor is a centimeter lower than the rest. Im too busy trying to figure out what I should do first to Jessie yell at her for leaving or grovel for forgiveness (grovel being a figure of speech, of course) so I absently flip her off. I cant believe you read her diary, she continued. Breaking Michaels nose I can see, but the diary thing? she shakes her head, and Im surprised to hear genuine disappointment in her voice.

What the hell do you care? I point out. Then I sigh. Of course. You feel bad for Jessie. And you, she says, unruffled. I mean, of course I feel bad for the poor girl. Shes totally a goner for you and you for her and youre both too blind too see it. See what? She gives a small cry of frustration. What do you feel for her? I feel my mind go blank. Its like a damn pop quiz in physics or something. Um She leaps out of the chair shed been curled up in. Oh, my God. Youve been going single-mindedly after a girl, youre all over the continent for her, youre totally into her, and you cant even say the L word? Like? No! she yells, and storms off towards the kitchen, yelling, Mom, hes being an idiot again! I cant stand it! The second shes out of earshot, I repeat experimentally, Love. Love, love, love. Sure enough, my stomach fills with snakes again, and I wince. Like it is. Really, really like? Oh, shut up. 0o0o0o0o0 Weve been waiting for forever. This sucks. I mean, Im nervous (cough) (terrified) (cough) as it is, and now her planes delayed fifteen minutes? I mean, cut me some slack. Actually, her plane wasnt fifteen minutes late. Twenty minutes late. Thirty minutes. Forty minutes. An hour late? They should have said something. Dont they always announce delays over and over until you want to throw a shoe at the announcer per-

son? I glance around, and everyones looking a bit anxious. I glance at Dani, and shes slouched in her chair reading a magazine. My mothers sitting primly in her chair, but when she catches my eye hers are filled with concern. They should have said something She gets up and talks in a low voice to one of the personnel people. Looking worried, he turns around and walks quickly off, talking quietly into his walkie-talkie. A girl waiting nearby picks up her phone as it rings. She listens for a moment, and her face stills with shock. Then she makes a small sound and, leaping up, hurried off, a hand clamped over her mouth. Oh, shit The intercom cracked a moment later, and a deep voice said mechanically, Will all visitors waiting for flight 33-A please come to the main office. Once again, will all visitors please come up to the main office. I feel my breath whoosh out, hard. I look at the couple next to me, and their faces have gone pale and strained. The woman began to sob quietly. Oh, Dear God, the plane the plane must have It must have crashed, someone else whispered. No, I snap. My voice sounds too loud, too off-key. No, I repeat, leaping up, looking at Dani, whos getting up slowly, looking shaken. The plane cant have gone down. Its impossible. I bought the ticket myself. Im vaguely aware that it makes no sense whatsoever, but I dont care. Its not true. All these people around me, waiting, I dont care that most are crying too because its not fucking true. An unlucky clerk walked past me, a tired expression on his face, and I grabbed him by the arm. Why do people have to go to the main office? I demand. I feel Dani seize my arm, but I shake her off, hard. Why? I hear my voice, scratchy and low, but I feel like Im listening to myself from the far end of a tunnel or something. Raffie, Mum says, sounding tearful, and then she, too, is trying to get me to let go. All I do is tighten my grip on the clerks arm. Danis saying something, too, and I think shes shaking my shoulder, but my bodys gone numb, so Im not really sure.

My girlfriends on that plane, I get out. Somethings closing my throat up, but I have to speak. I force my voice out. I bought her the ticket. Im not the person to talk to, The man says, sounding a bit irritated and a lot freaked out. I believe the plane may have gone down. Im sorry, he adds stiffly, and he jerks free of my grip and turns around to walk away. There was this odd roaring noise in my ears. Did you ever go to a party, and there was this flickering white light? It makes the whole room seem to pulsate, and everyone seemed to move in short, choppy motion, like a bad animation. I experienced that sense of surrealism as I watched one hand grab the man, and the other draw back in a fist. I think the hands were mine. (It took three security guards to get me off of him.) The head of security is talking, has been taking ever since I was taken to the security office, and had to sit down in one of the simple black chairs, but his voice just seems to waver in and out. Everything just seems to be flashing hot and cold around me, inside of me, and its like I have this pent up scream inside of me that I cant get out. May want to press charges My hands would have been balled into fists if they hadnt been shaking so badly. Actually, I think my whole body was doing that, and there was a cold line of sweat slowly making its way down the base of my spine. It trickles an inch, then it stops, gathers itself again, and off it goes again. Attacking an innocent man My mom said something, but I didnt care what. I didnt want to look at them. See the pity, the horror. All detached, and would be pushed to the back of their minds by tomorrow and erased next week. But this wasnt supposed to happen. I mean, everyone always says, Thats life. Move on. Hell, didnt I say it myself to Jessie? But this just wasnt supposed to happen. It just wasnt. She was supposed to go on, and become a lawyer. Or a teacher. A fucking rocket scientist, maybe. She would have been able to do it. Cant move on; how can I? Im stuck in this moment, and nothings happening but my life feels like its crashing down. I understand the conditions

Conditions. Conditions. Conditions. Conditions, conditions, conditions conditionsconditionsconditions If I hadnt bought that ticket, oh God oh God it was all my fault I shake my head, and force myself to look up. Its a dream, its a dream, I chant. Im going to wake up. Someones going to tell me it was a mistake. All a mistake. A huge awful mistake. I look at Dani; shell be honest, no bullshit from her. But my mantra dies when she stares back on me, the most helpless look on her face. Raffie, she says, her eyes going big and wet. There is no mistake. My God. Shes dead because of me. My stomach makes a vicious turn, and suddenly, I feel like no matter how hard I try, I cant suck in enough air, and my chest hurts, little stabs of pain, the only feeling I can feel, as I try to inhale. The edges of my vision clouds an ugly back color and thats when I realize, with a weird kind of impartial logic, that Im starting to hyperventilate. I dimly hear my mother cry out, He should be in a hospital, for Christs sake! and then hands are pushing my head between my legs, and Im suddenly staring into a brown garbage cans bottom. Its the same color as Jessies hair. She woulda kicked my ass from here to Mars if she heard me compare her hair to a garbage can. I mean, her hairs beautiful, but its the same dark brown. But Jessie cant kick my ass from here to Mars. Because shes not here, next to me, where she should be. All I wanted was for her to be next to me, God. Was that really so much to ask? Was that what life was all about? Discovering the one thing that you thing you existed for, that you fucking breathed for, and that the second you finally figured it out, it was taken away? Ive got my eyes screwed tightly closed, and Im biting so hard on my fist that I can taste the sweet saltiness tinge my mouth. Sweet and sharp, two things that wouldnt exist without each other, that needed each other just to exist. And I fucking loved her for that. For everything she was, good and bad. There are these broken noises coming from someone, but I dont want to look up to see who it is. Tears are there, hot and heavy in the back of my throat. If I lose control now, Ill never get it back. I havent cried in almost a decade. I guess nothing mattered since then. I didnt have anything to care that deeply about, anything to need, and anything to want. And I just realized that now. Its early in the morning And my heart is really lonely

Just thinkin bout you baby Got me twisted in the head The tune seems to echo around me, tinny and surreal. That was the first song, remember? Id snuck and bullied and manipulated my way into that first dance with her. A bit ironic. Id thought Jessie was an obsession. Well, she was, thats why Id personalized this song on my phone for whenever she called me. Obsession. At first, it was a challenge. Then an interest. Then I dont know. But, obsession doesnt seem full. As encompassing. Maybe, just maybe And I dont know how to take it But its driving me so crazy I dont know if its right I'm tossin turning in my bed Yes. Driving me crazy. But, I know its right. And the damn knowledge came to late. Why did I have to figure this out now? What good was it now? It doesnt hurt me. I cant feel anything. Its just this cold, numbness thats pervading every ounce of my being. Raffie! Its 5 oclock in the morning And I still cant sleep Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me weak.. I'm feeling hopeless in my homeI dont know what to do but I think I'm in love Oh God oh God, I think I am, too. Was. Am. I still love her. Always will. Time cant change that. I wont let it. Rafael! Amor, no es amor Then what am I feeling What am I doing wrong Amor, no es amor Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

I draw in a breath. When I let it out, Im going to scream. Im going to cry, and I dont think Ill ever stop oh God please RAFAEL MONTGOMERY! I jerk up, and, to my shock, my mothers shoving what seems to be my cell phone into my face. My eyes focus on the red screen. Theres a small line of hearts bouncing around next to the name Incoming Call from Jessie Cell I reach up, and take the phone. I nearly drop it as my fingers fumble on such a simple action. And, as the song plays on, burbling out the cell, I cant open it. I cant flip it open. If I flip it open, Id be picking up the phone. I cant make myself pick up he phone. BecauseIm hoping. Hoping against logic, against reason. Im hoping with ever fucking fiber of my being, prayed and hoped and wished like Ive never done before. Another chance. I wont mess up, God, I promise. And if I pick it up, and its not her, if she maybe dropped her phone and someone found it and that hope dies Pick it up, little brother, Dani said quietly. I look at her; she hasnt said that in years. When I was little and we werent killing each other, she would cuddle with me before I went to bed, and she would stroke my hair, maybe sing, and call me that. I must have looked like crap for her to say that to me. I sure felt like it. I look at the cell. All it takes is a flip of the lid. Just one I flip it open, and put it to my ear. It takes a good few seconds, but a moment later, a gravelly tone, way too weak and shaky to be my own says, Jessie? What the HELL is your problem? Ive been waiting for you for like half an hour! Well, Im SORRY I missed my flight. Michael tried to stop me from leaving the house, so I had to break his nose again, then his dad cause he sure as hell aint mine - started going ballistic, it took forever to get a taxi, and then I get there just in time to see my plane leave. Then, I had to use my moms credit card to buy a new ticket, and shes going to KILL me, because she HATES it when I steal her stuff, especially now that were being nice to each other again. So I finally get here, and Im only like an hour and a half late late, and my boyfriend abandons me! And I would have called from the plane, but my cell died, and calling on the planes phone is a total gyp, and I finally got the damn thing working, and its a madhouse around here, what happened? Jessie, I say hoarsely.

Dont you Jessie me. And on TOP of that, the guy next to me on the plane, I swear, kept trying to feel me up. And he was pretty cute, too. But still, like, its gross. Where are you? I Where ARE you? Dont tell me you went home. Your plane crashed. You ah, excuse me? I bought you a fucking ticket, and you missed the plane, and the plane you missed went down. My voice was wobbling again. Its like puberty all over again, damn it. Like once wasnt enough, even though it did do lot of great stuff for me. Shes dead silent. Then, Oh, my God I thought I thought Id lost you Where are you? I need to see her, touch her, hear her, smell her, taste her, before I wake up and its all a dream, once last time is all I want, if its a dream. Im in front of the womans bathrooms, she says frantically. I dont know what floor, second, I think, I kind of stormed around all pissed at you. Bathrooms? I look at the security guards for the first time. A bathroom. She doesnt know where for sure, she said the second One of the guards whod peeled me off the porter said sympathetically, Second floor, head straight from the escalator, and you cant miss it. Do you Im out of there. I swear, I dont think anythings felt so crowded before. All these people milling around with nothing to do, tourists, families their faces blur as I pass. I dont know if I pushed people to the side; all I know is after a while, they moved out my way. I hit the escalator, look at the amount of people, change my mind, and race up the stairs one flight, the phone temporarily forgotten, still open in my hand. I look around. Bookstore, McDonalds, bathrooms, Pizzeria Bathrooms! I screech to a halt, and look around for brown hair. Rafael! her voice is loud and clear, over the noise. My whole attention focuses on that one voice. Rafael! I turn my head slightly, and theres a lone figure weaving her way towards me as fast as she can. Her hair sways as she squirms her way through the crowd. Rafael!

I stood there for a second, just staring at her, like every muscle had just locked in place. And then the moment was over, and I was running to her. About three feet away, she takes a leap and catapults herself into me, arms going around my neck in a death grip and her hands burrowing into my hair. Her legs were tight around my waist. As for me, I had one arm around her waist and the other in a stranglehold around her neck. Neither of us really cared. My legs felt like water, so I staggered out the way of the crowd, leaned against the wall, and slid down into a sitting position, still wrapped around her, and she around me. Oh God oh God oh God I have no idea who is chanting it. It didnt matter. I thought youd died, I state, burrowing my face into her neck. They made the announcement over the intercom and the plane had never come in and Im okay, She was saying tearfully over and over. Im okay, I promise. Never again, I say, one hand raking through her hair, remembering the texture, the silky feeling of the gorgeous locks sliding over my hypersensitive skin. Dont ever leave me again, promise me! Never, She says feverishly. Youre stuck with me, Montgomery, for better or for worse. Then she narrows her eyes. Well, Ill stay with you if you promise not to go behind my back like that again. Better, I say fiercely. Definitely better, and no more diary reading. I swear. Christ, I love you, I blurted out, drawing back for one agonizing second so I could look into her face, into her eyes, eyes Id though I would never be able to look into again. She doesnt say anything, but her eyes start flooding over with tears. Happy ones, thank God. If possible, her grip on me tightens, and she nods without speaking. And I know, for sure, that everything I feel is reciprocated to the max. We sat there for a long, long time. I think a couple of tourists took pictures. But what was a bit of time and embarrassment for a lot of love? o0o0o0o0o0o Still had to go back up for Prom and graduation. So I borrow my fathers car and Jessie and I go back to school, road-trip style. I realize that you have a much higher chance of dying in a car accident than a plane, but hey. I cant

name any car accident victims that I know, and sure can remember the looks of devastation on the faces of those that, unlike me, didnt have luck intervene. So, hell no is Jessie getting on a plane for the next decade or so if I have anything to say about it. Which, right now, I do. Road trips are always fun, and I think Jessies perfectly content staying as close to the ground as possible. This one was no exception, and thank God, there was nothing strange or near accidents. I dont think my heart could take anything else for the next two weeks, thank you very much. Prom was Prom. A big-dresses affair that starts out with everyone exclaiming over one anothers dresses, catty comments. It was fun. The schools did Prom King and Queen. I got King, of course, and Eva won narrowly over Jessie for Queen, but they went on stage together laughing. Eva tried to snap the crown in half but failed miserably. Really sweet, actually. Of course, everyone ended up on the dance floor with flushed faces and far too much energy for a party that (officially) lasted eight hours. Though the flushed faces might have had to do with the genius that spiked the huge punch bowl. I didn't do it. I swear. (Course I didnt get caught. Shame on you for wondering about that, by the way.) The unofficial parties continued in private afterwards. I heard in the boy school that the staff searched every room, but no one got busted for underage drinking. Here, Ms. Healthgot just knocked on random doors if we got too loud. Good woman. However, Im not going to lie. Graduation was a drag. Standing outside because it was a gorgeous day yeah, gorgeous unless your feet are aching and you have to listen to teachers and staff of both schools making longwinded speeches. Not my piece of cake, thank you very much. All that shit about accomplishment and hard work? No fucking shit. We just did it for four freaking years. I dont need to hear it anymore. Give me my diploma, because I am so ready for a year off. Im standing right between the boys and girls school. The parents are all assuming that Im with the boys haha. If only they knew. Thankfully, they dont. Because its according to height, Im in the back. Which is cool, because I can stare at the backs of everyones heads to amuse myself. Im desperate. Jessies no fun. Shes staring at whatever pompous windbag is spouting his verbal diarrhea about what a pleasure it was to work with young men of such promise. Either that or frantically reciting the valedictorian speech. I vote both, not that she needs to worry. Half of the road trip

consisted of her reciting it perfectly and then fretting over tone. I guess I didnt help by remarking that no one cared about the tone as long as she kept it short and sweet. Puh-lease. Marie turns her head from where shes in the front row when the man talks about meeting people we will never forget. I arch my eyebrow at her and look down my nose in a condescending manner. Its pretty easy to do when youre one of the tallest guys and youre standing on bleachers. She sticks her nose in the air and with a little flounce, returns her gaze to who-thefuck-cares-where. Jessie, of course, catches my eye and raises her brows at me. Figures shed catch that. I send her the most devastating grin that I can dredge up from my boredom-filled self, and mouth, Love ya, Sunshine! Shes so cute when she turns red. I look through the audience, and see Mum, Dad, and Dani. She looks almost as bored as I am, and has a resigned look on her face. I smile cheekily in her direction, and I think she rolls her eyes at me. I cant really tell from here. Theres a shitload of people occupying the sea of folding chairs on the lawn. I glance back at Jessie as her name is announced. Everyone claps, and I sacrifice the hearing of those around me with an ear-piercing whistle. She gets up to the podium, and hesitates. Her eyes shoot to mine, and I can just imagine the panic in her stare. I give her a small, encouraging smile, and a wink. Dunno if she saw the wink, but whatever the incentive, she took a deep breath and recited the words that Id heard far too often on the drive over, Its been four years, four years of learning and laughter, four years of friendships, relationships, and becoming who we want to be As much as I hate the speech (not because its bad, but I mean, after twelve times its pretty dull as well) I have to agree with it, as clich as it may sound. I didnt have to spend four years in this school; one was more than enough. I learned, not academic-wise, but more about life than I think I would have ever learned if I hadnt met Jessie. Its been a year of tears, yes, but even more laughter. I glance at Jared, but his face is turned away. I dont hate him; I wish him luck. I dont think, as Jessie said, this is who he will grow up into. Lifes a bit hard, and he needs to wrestle with his inner demons. He hurt his sister, messed up with Eva, but hes learning. I cant really say he lost Eva. Lost is Jessie having gotten on the plane. That is loss.

Ive learned to love, to live, and I gotta say, it may be seriously fucked up sometimes. I dont know what Im going to do in the future, but I know who Im going to do (haha). Shes currently addressing two schools of parents and students with her hair painstakingly braided in a French braid, a white gown, and her hat slightly askew. Ill tease her about it later. And then, when she gets upset, Ill tell her that I love her. Because I do. So yeah. Its not certain, its not perfect, but in the end, life is pretty damn beautiful. o0o0o0o0o0 Hi. Rafael Montgomery here. And youre staring at me in total shock. Stop it. I know Im gorgeous, but youre freaking me out. Well. Maybe youre just really surprised that the mighty have fallen so far. You know, why do people say, falling in love? Theres nothing lowering about it. Humbling, but not lowering. Looking back on that daywow, its been three years since that crazy day. Made a big circle, didnt it? An airport. Started at an airport, ended at one. Coulda been more romantic, but its all good. As my mum says, Alls well that ends well. Not that anything has ended. Were still going strong. Anyway. So. Jessies on full scholarship at Columbia she got into Harvard, but decided it wasnt really her thing. Weird, but hey, whatever floats her boat. Me? Im at NYU. A bit of money and ties got me in even though Id planned to take the year off. I still want a year to travel the world, but Jessie didn't have a year off and no way would I leave her behind. I think I want to do something fun, like acting or something, though it wouldnt be much of a challenge because we all know Im already Hollywood Heartthrob material. Or, if not, I kind of like history now. Dont tell Jessie; shell crack a rib laughing her ass off at me. Ironically, Jessie has no idea what she wants to do, so shes having a lot of fun dabbing into random things, from mechanics to creative writing. She is, as usual, ignoring all financial help and is saving up for her own apartment. I decided to go the easy way, and dipped into my trust fund and got a nice little place. I got all these wonderful housewarming gifts from everyone, though Jessies topped it, without a doubt. Except it would have been nice if my mom hadnt walked in on us. I still turn red just thinking about it. Its not big, but its fine for me, and would easily fit in another person, something I subtly hint to Jessie only three times a day.

Jessie said shed think about it for a few years. My goal is to get her to make up her mind in the affirmative as soon as possible. It took her like ten months to get her to fall in love with me; living together will take like five years. Unless I help speed up the process. I turned twenty-one a few weeks ago. Jessies still twenty for a while, something that never fails to annoy her. Juniors in college. Its amazing how time flies when youre having fun, isnt it? But, I mean.. what else is there to say? My parents are as awesome and slightly airheaded as always. Danis her normal reserved snappish self, and her cat iswell, as evil as always. He recently put a dead mouse under my covers when I went to spend Christmas with my parents, Jessie in tow. Jessie swears it was E.I.s way of demonstrating his love, but I saw the evil glint of pure madness in those feline eyes. Hes not fooling me. Jessies fine, obviously. Shes been tentatively rebuilding her relationship with her mother. Sues coming to New York for a visit next month. Sue recently divorced from John Davidson, and shes taken back her deceased husbands name, and Jessie happily followed suit. So Jessie Davidson, actually, is now Jessica Bathas. And, if you ask me, it sounds dead awful. When I pointed this out, I got punched in the arm. Hard. Dani whispered to me later, though, Jessie Montgomery sounds even better. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. Ive only just been able to (legally) buy alcohol, for Chrissakes. My sister really, really needs a boyfriend. Like, badly. But shes coolshe and Jessie are great friends. Its a bit scary, so I try not to think about it too much. (Jessie in a white wedding dress. Hmmm. Maybe off white. Haha.) I got an email from Jared last week. Hes off in Brazil doing some charity thing, and Evas well, I have faith that Jareds still in touch with her in some way or another, even after everything that got between them. Anne is still estranged from her family, but Tessas an amazing person. Theyll get through it. She is still extremely close with Jared, of course, and he supports her unconditionally, even though he and Tessa all but snarl at each other when theyre within a hundred foot radius of each other. Youre still staring at me.

Stop it. Youre scaring me. Actually, Im meeting Jessie at the movie theater in about half an hour, so I have to go now if I dont want to be late. Were seeing a chick flick. It was Jessies turn to pick one, so Ill either grit my teeth and bear it or we can make out in the back row for the whole time and leave without knowing anything that happened. Guess what Im hoping for? Dont get me wrong. We have our ups and downs. Jessie tends to keep emotions to herself, which frustrates the hell out of me sometimes, and I can get a bit overprotective and jealous. Just a bit. Not much. A tad. You can barely tell. But, you know what? It all works out in the end. Dude. Im head over fucking heels. Life is beautiful, isnt it? Yeah, it is. I NEED TO POLISH THE FIRST 25 PAGES OF L.I.B. BECAUSE I DECIDED TO GET OVER CONTEST FEARS AND ENTER IT SOMEWHERE. not that I think it'll win anything, but because hey, it's trying something new. I will be doing all polishing over on WEbook because it's a lot easier there. If ANYONE is interested in helping me, PLEASE PLEASE message me. The contest requires for it to be submitted by early September, and I want it in by the end of July. THANK YOU! To all of you that make me warm and fuzzy inside, Thank you very much for your support with this first draft, and a special cyber hug for those of you who gave me some good constructive feedback and gave support to my crushed brain cells when my computer crashed (aka I somehow managed to kick it off a table and made it flip three times before it hit the ground with a sickening thud.) With it, nearly a hundred pages of editing. Like, change-plot-line-by-line-word-by-word editing. I don't know if I can do it again. Like, make Marie worse than ever, get rid of Jessie's step-brother, change the room situations, and gosh knows what else. But I will try. So here is the notice: I will start to post, chapter by chapter, the edited version after this. Why? Because one, then it's all together for those that want to reread a slightly beta-ed version. Secondly,

it's easier for ME to flip through reviews and everything and see what worked and what didn't. Also, Fictionpress probably won't crash. It better not. I guess I'll back it up on a blog as well. Hah. So... I tell you this so that if you've got LIB on author alert and you don't care to reread a bagillion pages that may or may not be the same to the bagillion pages you've just read, TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST. Or, since some people like to reread this, you can reread a nicer version and scream at me if you think it's taken a turn for the worse. Like, here's my main problem: Keep Rafael and Jessie in the same room, or make the room a suite with a common living room and two small single bedrooms joined to it, college-dorm style? Thank you in advance, and please... don't yell at me for breaking FP rules and posting an author's note as a chapter. - Arachi